Eyy, thanks mate, happy to hear it, that means a lotOriginally Posted by WhiteFrenzy
Eyy, thanks mate, happy to hear it, that means a lot
Well, theirs been quite a number of sheets, so may as well go through them.
Grace Hopper: A weird but nice combination of the two sides of the servant, especially with the NP mixing a computer and a ship for the Admiral. Giving her the ability to distort reality with language is a really inspired way of incorporating the coding aspects of her history. The personality really does make the charisma bit quite appropriate, since she makes good use of it.
Harland Sanders: ...I am unsurprised about your use of the dating sim image, but I really didn't need to be reminded that existed. Ignoring my minor issue with the FC, the rest of the sheet is stellar, barring one part. Using the curse is a really nice move, and whilst I think it's effects should be longer since the curse on the team was around for ages, it makes a nice deal of sense. The NP just has me laughing, as I can't not find the idea of this man wielding a giant chicken bone funny. The only question is the personality, since a lot of the info we have on Sanders doesn't always make him out to be the nicest person.
Nadia Boulanger: Appropriate for a teacher to be a very support oriented servant. Across the board, some wonderful choices, an d the huge amount of references to some of your other sheets is a nice touch. Overall, not much to say on this one other than good job.
Claude Cahun: An interesting way of using her. Pulling her espionage aspects to the surface works really well for the class, and gives good reason for her presence. The little bit about stirring up chaos makes for a nice twist in her personality, and across her abilities, she'd do so quite well. I'd have to say my favorite parts is her third skill and NP. The idea of using her many portraits as a way to give her many forms just fits well with the whole espionage vibe, and the skill just feels like a good tribute to her work.
Dong Xian: Hmm, I'm a bit more split on this one. Whilst the item creation skill is fine, the rank of the territory creation feels a bit low for being able to produce something on the level of something equal to the imperial palace. Also, his seeming rise despite things just makes him feel like he should be an assassin, as weird as it is. On the other side, the sublimations of his many gifts from the emperor and using the boons to his family are pretty cool, and the NP is quite an inspired choice, using those anecdotes in the way you did.
Namazu: His hatred of restrain is quite appropriate, and I just find the idea of a natural disaster sensing other natural disasters. Going for the mermaid, or in this case merman, route makes fair sense, even if I wish his NP manifested more like Whitebeards quake powers. However, it's current form just is to entertaining to imagine to dislike.
Across the board, some interesting sheets Jishara
Jeanne d'Arc (Alter): Well, this is as funny as I expected it to be. Overall, a wonderful sheet, and an excellent addition to the more shitposty version of Jalter we've all come to love. The explanations seem good across the board, and the new forms for her NP is just magnificent. Always appreciate a Hellsing: Abridged reference, especially ones that aren't too egregious. Overall, a really great sheet.
Thanks for your comments!
Dong Xian: I have increased his territory creation skill to A rank, it makes sense that it should be more powerful then a workshopAs for the Caster, I thought it fit better just because of the palace and treasures naturally slotting into Caster class skills, I might do a Assassin variant at some point
Harland Sanders: I have bumped Curse of the Colonel up to B and increased the duration
Last edited by jishara; July 26th, 2022 at 05:46 PM.
Source: Moochirin
Class: Assassin
Other Classes: N/A
True Name: Eleonora Duse
Alignment: Neutral Good
Place of Origin: Italy (19th Century)
Parameters:
STR: C
END: D
AGI: C
MGI: D
LCK: C
NP: C
Height: 192cm
Weight: 140lbs
Likes: Playing a part
Dislikes: Being off the stage
Talent: Becoming her role
Natural Enemy: Sarah Bernhardt
Attribute: Man
Traits: Female, Weak to Enuma Elish, Humanoid
Armament: N/A
Catalyst: A photograph of her
Class Skills:
Presence Concealment C: The capability to suppress one's own presence, granted to her as a Class Skill. In life, she did a lot of things stealthily, and hid away from the media. This has granted her a moderately high rank in this skill.
Personal Skills:
Cenere B: The sublimation of the film Cenere, her only dabble into movies. As a skill, this has manifested as the capability to control ashes, blotting out herself and the areas to help her fade from view. In addition, this grants her an effect similar to a low-ranked Protection of the Faith, weakening mental debuffs and physical debuffs against her.
Acting Should Grow B: The sublimation of her aiding and encouragement of many other actors and dancers. This has sublimated into a skill which allows her to pass on acting skills to her allies, granting them more perfect balance as well as Espionage at ranks between D and E. In addition, they can continue to train and continue to rank up.
Weak Constitution C-A: In life, she was fairly ill, constantly getting sicker. This means that in combat, she has a moderate chance of her stats dropping, and this rises the longer she remains in one role.
Noble Phantasm(s):
Eliminer le Soi
Made Herself Up Morally
Type: Anti-Unit (Self)
Rank: C
Range: 0m
Max Targets: Self
The sublimation of her particular technique of acting, where she eliminated herself utterly to become the character she portrayed. This allows her to perfectly disguise herself as any humanoid being, eliminating the self and letting their personality and emotions dye her over, although this reduces her Endurance stat whenever she uses it. In addition, this has a passive effect whenever she is not in a role, for as she declared, "When I'm off the stage, I do not exist". And such it is. Whenever she isn't in a role, her mana consumption drops to almost nil and her presence concealment shoots to A+ rank. However, she also cannot physically affect the world around her, almost like a ghost, though she keeps the use of her skills.
Lore: Eleonora Duse was an Italian actress, who was one of the greatest of her time. She performed in many different types of plays, most notably ones by Gabriel D'Annunzio and Henrik Ibsen, but also a large number of Shakespearian plays. She was also known for her rivalry with her idol, Sarah Bernhardt.
Personality: Incredibly shy and timid, she does whatever she can to hide from view against most other people, unless she trusts them extremely or is very mad at them. However, when she's on the stage and playing a part, all that melts away. She adores seeing other actors rise, and will try to attend as many premieres as she can (hidden, of course). Her wish for the Grail is that she was able to inspire more people.
Relationships:
Gabriel D'Annunzio: "You. I thought you supported me! But yet.... you gave it to her?"
Isadora Duncan: "...Who's there? Please don't....Oh, Isadora! How have you been?"
Sarah Bernhardt: "Ah....you're here too...our rivalry continues into another chapter, I see...."
Paula Maxa: "....Eep....You're quite intimidating...but your performances are wonderful!"
William Shakespeare: "...Your plays are wonderful, but.....why are you trying to manipulate people's lives?"
Jack the Ripper: "....Please don't hurt me..."
Source: 9GAG
Class: Caster
Other Classes: N/A
True Name: Isadora Duncan
Alignment: True Neutral
Place of Origin: America (20th Century)
Parameters:
STR: C
END: E
AGI: B
MGI: B
LCK: C
NP: B
Height: 181cm
Weight: 151lbs
Likes: Dancing, nature
Dislikes: Restrictions
Talent: Dancing
Natural Enemy: Bedivere
Attribute: Man
Traits: Female, Weak to Enuma Elish, Humanoid
Armament: N/A
Catalyst: Her scarf, a copy of My Life
Class Skills:
Territory Creation (Dance) B: Her territory creation skill causes her to permanantly passively expand a territory around her, granting her similar bonuses as a Workshop. However, it doesn't remain in one place at any point.
Item Creation E: She never trained in creating items, and so can't create anything larger then a paper-clip or any more complex.
Personal Skills:
Isadorables C: The six girls she adopted and trained to dance, manifesting in a skill. This allows her to place a miniature shard of her saint graph in willing individuals, allowing them to gain Evolutionary Dance at D rank and Choreftitra at E rank. In addition, she is able to weakly materialize shadows of herself that imitate her movements, up to six.
Inspiration from the Surroundings B: She took inspirations from the surroundings around her whenever she danced, improvising depending on what she saw. This allows her to inspire her steps based on another being nearby, duplicating one of their skills at lower rank for the duration that she remains dancing and they remain in the same area.
Evolutionary Dance A: Her style of dance discussed each step as following from the next to the next. This has manifested into a skill, allowing her every movement to grow and hone depending on her previous movements. In other words, allowing her to "Chain" her dance steps. In addition, they also grow in accuracy against any target that she continues with.
Noble Phantasm(s):
Choreftitra
Dance Is A Sacred Art
Type: Anti-Army
Rank: B
Range: 30 meters
Max Targets: 100
The sublimation of her new style of dancing, incorporating nature, the sea, folk dances, and Ancient Greek arts and dances into it. Unbeknownst to her until she was summoned, this tapped into a form of Nature Magic utilized by the ancient greeks, the Bacchanalian Dance. This passively causes every one of her dance steps to be able to control the nature around her. When its true name is summoned, a different aspect of the Bacchanalian Dance is tapped into, that of frenzy and madness, spreading a curse that forces any targets around her to dance, while also increasing her magic.
Lore: Isadora Duncan was an American dancer known for her free, improvisatory style of dancing and her teaching of dance to many people. She is often known as one of the creators of modern dance. In addition, she was known for her emphasis on evolutionary dance movements, such that every movement went from the next to the next to the next.
Personality: A carefree, lighthearted, and friendly person, she constantly dances from one pose to the next and speaks from one pose to the next. In addition, she is a "Social Butterfly", talking with anyone and everyone in the room as soon as she possibly can. She has a singular wish for the grail, to have remained famed throughout the end of her life.
Relationships:
Eleonora Duse: "Oh, Leo! It's been a while. How have you been?"
Bedivere: "Loosen up a little, it's fine to relax you know."
Jeanne D'Arc: "I admire your conviction."
Baobhan Sidh: "I see you've loosened up, but... it's a bit sadistic for my taste."
Jing Ke: "I like your spirit. Let's party till the dawn comes up!"
Man, these looks AI-generated.
Source: Peakpx
Class: Berserker
Other Classes: N/A
True Name: Mariam Soulakiotis
Alignment: Chaotic Evil
Place of Origin: Greece (20th Century)
Parameters:
STR: B
END: C
AGI: D
MGI: C
LCK: C
NP: C
Height: 181cm
Weight: 140lbs
Likes: Torturing people, false kindness, people thinking she's a good person
Dislikes: Being kind, healthy people, people knowing she's evil
Talent: Torture
Natural Enemy: Saint Martha, Jeanne D'Arc
Attribute: Man
Traits: Female, Weak to Enuma Elish, Humanoid
Armament: A jug of olive oil, Panagia Pefkovounogiatrissa
Catalyst: An Epanokalimavkion belonging to her
Class Skills:
Madness Enhancement B: The Berserker class skill. Her parameters are ranked up, but in exchange, she loses much of her sanity.
Personal Skills:
Saint E: She is venerated as a saint by some Greek Old Calendarists and the nuns from the abbey she ran. This has granted her a very low rank of this skill. When summoned as a servant, she is able to choose between "Slight Automatic HP Recovery" and "Rank-Up to the effectiveness of her Crozier".
Sadistic Constitution C: A skill that augments her aggression in battle, causing her to slide more and more into insanity as she continues in battle, focusing herself on offensive strikes again and again over defending against any attacks. This isn't as powerful as it could be, though, as her class skill is very similar to it and Saint, despite its low rank, weakens this slightly.
Mother Rasputin A: The sublimation of her manipulation of the events around her to obtain power as the Abbess, preventing the founder from trying to heal the schism. As a skill, this allows her to more easily manipulate anyone within her earshot, and even convert people into weak familiars, nuns and monks, with Madness Enhancement E and Sadistic Constitution D.
Noble Phantasm(s):
Panagia Pefkovounogiatrissa
The Monastery of Mariam of Keratea
Type: Anti-Unit
Rank: C
Range: 40 meters
Max Targets: 500 targets
The sublimation of her horrific deeds within the monastery which she lead as abbess. It passively sublimates into a crozier that she holds, of which every swing causes any being besides herself nearby to begin coughing. This can communicate between them and others, and can become very serious and even fatal, but they won't realize it, for they'll believe "they have already been cured". When its true name is called, it leeches away all money from a target, and steals their Mana, while imbuing them with the same cough.
Lore: Mariam Soulakiotis was an abbess who was a serial murderer, having killed several people herself, as well as claiming that she would cure people who came to her sick, but instead trap them in the abbey and force them to will their money to her. She was originally tried for exporting olive oil and importing tires from Cyprus, but more and more of her crimes were revealed as the trials continued on. She died before many of them finished, so was only charged at her death with murdering seven people and committing neglegient homicides on over a hundred, though the agreed on number for her victims are 177 including both types.
Personality: Initially she seems like an utterly kind and genuine person, wanting to do anything she can to help you from any troubles you have. But if you look deeper, you'll notice something slightly off. A gleam of sadism every time someone comes to her in pain. In truth, she is an utterly sadistic and cruel person who wishes to do anything she can to continue seeing pain in people. Her wish for the Grail would to return to the world as a Saint, so that she would have utter impunity to continue torturing.
Relationships:
Jeanne D'Arc: "Oh, hello Jeanne. Is there anything you need? Oh, your flag ripped. One second, let me sew this back together. Whoops! Sorry about that. One second, let me just extract my needle from your hand. There we go, that's better."
Caligula: "The Glory of Rome? I think it would be the most glorious thing for Rome if you fought Artoria over there, proving the strength of Rome."
Meltryllis: "I wouldn't think you're sadistic. Anyway, hold still, please. There you go, new ballet shoes... Oh, are you okay? You broke your leg!"
Wu Zetian: "Empress Wu. What a pleasure to speak to you. What help do you need? You've been constantly coughing? I can help you with that."
Kiara Sessyoin: "You are... not a nun, although you dress like it. Interesting. Anyway, what do you need?"
Barghest: "Oh no! What happened? Your horn broke! A crozier hit you? What a peculiar thing."
Baohban Sidh: "Oh, how interesting. All of your shoes shattered? Here, I have a pair for you. Oh no! I must have accidentally left the needles in there by mistake."
Mori Nagayoshi: "Oh, poor thing, so banged up. Here, let me clean the wounds. Sorry about the severe pain, but it will clean your wounds easily."
Source: Alice Luna
Class: Archer
Other Classes: N/A
True Name: Elsa Schiaparelli
Alignment: Neutral Good
Place of Origin: Italy (20th Century)
Parameters:
STR: D
END: D
AGI: D
MGI: B
LCK: C
NP: D
Height: 181 cm
Weight: 140lbs
Likes: Unconventional clothes, surrealism
Dislikes: Bland clothes
Talent: Designing surrealistic clothes
Natural Enemy: Da Vinci
Attribute: Man
Traits: Female, Weak to Enuma Elish, Humanoid
Armament: Measuring tape, needles
Catalyst: A copy of the Lobster Dress
Class Skills:
Independent Action D: She wasn't particularly independent in life, but her very unique style ranks-up this skill, allowing her to last for several hours without a master.
Magic Resistance E: She never faced magic in life, and as such gains a minimal rank in this Class Skill.
Personal Skills:
Synthetic Fabrics C: The sublimation of her utilization of synthetic clothing of assorted types, being one of the first couture designers to utilize them. This manifests in the capability to produce "Any type of fabric", no matter what it is or if it has ever existed. This can even produce things such as dragon scales or a Nemean Lion pelt, though they are are severely reduced in effectiveness as they are merely synthetic replicas of the fabric.
Schiaparelli Perfumes B: Schiaparelli was also noted for her perfumes, which were in peculiar packaging. This has manifested in the ability to "store scent in any object", no matter what it is or how it looks, though it cannot be larger then a couch. From a stone or a blade of grass to a dress or a fireplace, anything can be hiding any type of scent, from healing and supporting ones to vile and stinging ones, though she prefers softer ones.
Trompe L'Eoil C: The sublimation of her use of Trompe L'oeil, the effect that something 2D looks 3D. As a skill, this has manifested as the capability to produce illusions depending on the designs that she makes. For example, if she designs a lobster, she can create an illusion of a titanic one. A bug swarm will allow her to create that, a dragon creating a dragon illusion..... Of course, these are merely illusions with no physical qualities.
Noble Phantasm(s):
Moda Pazza
The House of Schiaparelli
Type: Anti-Unit
Rank: D
Range: 10 Meters
Max Targets: 1 target
The sublimation of her entire style of fashion designing. It manifests into the many needles she carries. Every time she throws one, she can activate its true name, allowing her to have it automatically embroider anything that she wishes into it. In addition, it is automatically filled with infinite amounts of highly durable thread.
Lore: Elsa Schiaparelli was an Italian fashion designer noted for her surrealistic designs and unconventional themes, such as insects, tromp l'oeil, and bright pink. She also helped popularize a number of clothing types such as shorts.
Personality: She is constantly looking for inspiration wherever she can find it, and constantly tends to carry string with her along with her Moda Pazza needles, so that she can make clothes whenever she needs, without having to activate Moda Pazza, though she loves to activate it. Her wish for the grail is that, in life, her style remained popular.
Relationships:
Van Gogh: "Wait a second. Sunflower shoes and gloves! That's an absolutely brilliant idea. Would you mind if I design a line of couture based on that?"
Da Vinci: "Your fashion is lovely, but very bland."
Hokusai: "Hmm, would you mind if I watch you paint for a bit? Your style seems quite interesting."
Raikou: "Very nice to meet someone else who knows how to sew."
Kintoki: "Huh, interesting style upgrades. I'll definitely take a look."
Last edited by jishara; August 1st, 2022 at 03:34 PM.
Hi. My name's Elio. I'm kinda new here and am itching to show my servant idea but I don't really know where to start. Like, I know how to use the formatting and stuff but I don't know if there's a template used for servant creation. Can y'all please help me if it isn't a bother?
Ya-ho~ I'm still new here so this box ain't filled out as it should be.
The Bucket
This Permutations and Combinatronics shit is verily bussing yo~
Here's a template I use. Feel free to modify it to how you see fit, or use it as it is.
Template
- - - Updated - - -
Here's another template from the Monthly Contest page:
Template2
Check out the officialTM Create-a-Servant discord server
Blindfold your eyes, so that the approaching night may strike no fear in you.
Let it not burden your soul, nor numb your strides.
Weirdest servant I've made by far- 1 left in my Fighting Game series after this, should be way faster.
The Voice of The Somatic Asylum
Identity: Scheherazade Alter
Class: Foreigner
Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
Armament(s): Milk, Honey, Ichor, her tales
Summoning Catalyst: Scheherazade Alter is not ordinarily able to be purposely summoned in a Grail War- instead, there is a chance she will emerge from Enno-Lunn onto the moon if servants of each of the following distinctions are present:
1. Servants who are Kings, or who possess the King attribute (David, Mysterious Heroine X, Pensilithea, etc)
2. Servants who possess strong enough ties to the moon that they manifest in skills and/or noble phantasms (Astolfo, Caligula, Orion, etc)
3. Servants who originate from literature, or are manifestations of the literature themselves, NOT author servants (Nursery Rhyme, Don Quixote, Frankenstein's Monster, etc)
Additionally, the presence of any Alter servants will increase the chance she appears.
History: Scheherazade is the narrator of "One Thousand and One Nights" - a collection of stories structured with embedded narratives, translated into Arabic around the 8th Century – and the legendary queen of Persia’s Sasanian Empire. Whether the "Scheherazade" that is here is a character from the stories, or the actual person who served as the character's model―――no one can be sure. There is no one other than herself who knows all the truths of "her own tale".
King Shahryar had repeated a cycle of killing maidens he married every night. In order to stop that evil act, the vizier's daughter, Scheherazade, offered herself up for marriage. As Scheherazade spent her first night with the king, a plan was set where her invited sister, Dunyazade, would beg her to tell a story. The king would listen to Scheherazade's narrated stories which Dunyazade spoke of with fascination, and plead for her to continue but, by then, dawn had already arrived. Scheherazade announced "Please hold onto that excitement for tomorrow's story". For that purpose, the king continued to let Scheherazade live so that he could listen to her stories, and eventually...
That is where her path diverges into the creation of an Alter Servant. In the present ending of the "One Thousand and One Nights", "Scheherazade bore three children, and the king learned of patience" was the manner in which the story ended. As aforementioned, this was a conclusion that didn't exist in the original tale, and there is a high chance that the "Proper Scheherazade" (Caster) has not experienced this. It is in the gift of an ending that Scheherazade Alter diverges- and ending where King Shahryar felt no love. Instead, in this ending, Scheherazade is sentenced to death as many other women were before her, but for trying to escape fate, she received the worst and one of the most famous methods of Persian torture and execution:
Scaphism.
As chronicled by Byzantine Historian Joannes Zonaras,
"The Persians outvie all other barbarians in the horrid cruelty of their punishments, employing tortures that are peculiarly terrible and long-drawn, namely the 'boats' and sewing men up in raw hides. But what is meant by the 'boats,' I must now explain for the benefit of less well informed readers. Two boats are joined together one on top of the other, with holes cut in them in such a way that the victim's head, hands, and feet only are left outside. Within these boats the man to be punished is placed lying on his back, and the boats then nailed together with bolts. Next they pour a mixture of milk and honey into the wretched man's mouth, till he is filled to the point of nausea, smearing his face, feet, and arms with the same mixture, and so leave him exposed to the sun. This is repeated every day, the effect being that flies, wasps, and bees, attracted by the sweetness, settle on his face and all such parts of him as project outside the boats, and miserably torment and sting the wretched man. Moreover his belly, distended as it is with milk and honey, throws off liquid excrements, and these putrefying breed swarms of worms, intestinal and of all sorts. Thus the victim lying in the boats, his flesh rotting away in his own filth and devoured by worms, dies a lingering and horrible death."
Scheherazade would endure for an utterly supernatural 29 and a half days, the woman's own almost manic fear of death. Those who were unfortunate enough to witness her agony up close would report that she seemed to take solace in the coming of night, the light of the moon illuminating her fetid tomb, and freeing her from the agony of the sun's heat. Those who had to bestow milk and honey upon her would report that she seemed to be deliriously speaking to someone, or something... but they could never fathom whom.
However, on the 30th day, when they went to reapply the torture, the boats were gone, along with their Inhabitant. The ordeal had already been strange, with her incredible length of survival, and the fact that there had been no vomit or excrement as there usually was, but this was something else altogether. The servants who the duty had been thrust upon then rushed to tell King Shahryar, but when they opened the door to his bedchambers... the month's worth of bodily refuse that would pile up from a double-length Scaphism ritual had flooded from all his orifices, killing him.
Personality:
"A gloomy, quiet and calm female storyteller. Scheherazade is clearheaded, composed, and is of the outstandingly cool-type of person, but that is not a harsh coldness. It is not an icy coldness, but a coldness like that of the moonlight."
That is how the proper Scheherazade acts. Alter is much the same, but instead of a quiet calm, she is home to constant mutterings, under breath ramblings, stories that she creates and cannot help but utter to nobody. If she were somehow able to talk with someone on neutral or positive terms however, she would be much more amicable than her Caster counterpart, quietly elated in the chance for someone to wish to hear her voice as her sister once did.
Her utter terror towards the concept of death is the same as Caster's.
Foreigner Patron: "The Prisoner of The Dreaming Moon" (Mnomquah)
Height: 168 cm
Weight: 172 lbs
Appearance:
Her eyelids are always shut, as she gave her eyes as payment for being saved, and to be confirm her contract with The Prisoner
Servant Parameters:
Str: E
End: B
Agi: C
Mana: EX
Luck: EX
Class Skills:
Existence Outside the Domain A: A Class Skill associated with Foreigners. Denotes a being that descended from the void of outer space. Rescued by the evil god, she now possesses and uses part of the god's power
Divinity B: The measure of whether one has Divine Spirit aptitude or not. At high levels, one is treated as a mixed race of a Divine Spirit - a demi-god. Having become the "Mouth" and Emissary for a higher-order existence lurking in a dimension tied to the shadow of the moon, Alter is tinged with a strong divinity. A looming threat that wishes to bring the "safety" of her domain, the moon prison/city, to Earth.
Insanity B: Utmost Paranoia towards Death, and the creation of endless ideas in lunar solitude.
Territory Creation B++: One can create an advantageous position for themselves as a mage. Scheherazade happens to create a “sleeping quarter” (though it appears more and more like a throne room over time) for the sake of her own survival, and Alter does the same. However, as her stories were not enough to sway the king in this version of her tale, it is at a lower rank than her natural counterpart.
Personal Skills:
Clairvoyance (Blind) C: It is a skill that connotes superior visual perception and dynamic occipital capture, such as to supplement the long-range aiming of projectile weapons. At higher ranks, it is possible that the bearers of this Skill have acquired abilities such as precognition ("future vision") and other forms of perception beyond standard eyesight (X-ray vision and so forth). Having traded away her eyes, she now "sees" via her other senses, curiously, taste being the strongest of them. They come together to form a mental viewing of the area around her, in a way similar to echolocation. It is skewed by Mnomquah's desires however, and things may come off as more negative or malicious if he views them as such, or positive and fulfilling if he feels that way.
Storyteller EX: A Skill that shows how skillful one is in verbally reciting tales and legends. Entirely different from the art of writing down tales in books, it is a story conveyance ability specialized in improvisation, allowing one to also take into account the mood and mentality of the audience to choose an appropriate way of reciting a story. It is likely that Rakugo storytelling Heroic Spirits possess this too.
A skill that would normally be a rank lesser (similar to her Territory Creation) due to her failings to save herself from execution, however, as she has experienced the dreamlands for centuries now, she has incorporated it's own tales, myths, and storytelling techniques into her repetoire, restoring the original EX rank.
Honeypot of Survival A: Similar to her Caster form's "Bedchamber of Survival", the combination of the milk and honey constantly flowing from her first noble phantasm will begin to build up and crystalize into walls, roads, forming cities and buildings. In this area, her luck towards avoiding death improves, decreasing probability of extra effects happening and such when directed towards her. Probability is also minorly affected. Her Territory creation bedchamber will be the origin point.
Noble Phantasm(s):
Scaphist Ichor: A
Passive
Scheherazade alter is stuck to a boat made of a discarded tentacle of her patron's true form, which pours out milk and honey, which mixes together and forms ichor, or the blood of a god. She may dismount it, but can go no further than a few meters, as her hair connects her. While it oozes quickly and constantly, she can control and direct it for attacks as it pours out. The Ichor itself is cursed, and burns through magical energy quite fast, making it rather dangerous to non-foreigner servants, but she herself merely feeds off of it.
The boat is also able to levitate and move quite quickly, thus being responsible for her C rank in Agility.
Given in exchange for her eyes.
Gate of the Lunar Prison: EX
Anti-army
As her manifestation requirements are met, she uses this Noble Phantasm to create a portal to exit the Dreamland's moon. Upon the amassment of enough milk/honey/ichor, she will have enough power to open a gate upon the waking Moon's surface, releasing a fountain of it, which will begin the creation of larger structures like skyscrapers in tandem with Honeypot of survival. Eventually, with enough Ichor creations amassed in order to create a sort of city in the sky, Scheherazade will enter her "bedchamber". The milk, honey, and ichor will then all converge around her, surrounding her in a massive wasp-hive shape, before the gate's fountain will increase in pressure, launching her to Earth.
The Second Deluge: A World of Milk and Honey: EX
Anti-World
The Wasp-Hive cluster will destruct upon atmospheric entry, fusing into the atmosphere itself, creating a great cloud of ichor to surround the earth. It will then begin to rain at an incredible pace- filling the land and floating above the waters of the sea, preserving all, "saving" and "protecting" humanity in the mind of a woman poisoned by an Evil Outer God.
Important Distinction: At any time while the first 2 Noble phantasms are active, destroying Alter will destroy any ichor or gate that is open. However, upon the third, the gate on the moon must be destroyed separately to rid the earth of the ichor-cloud. Energy releases such as Caldabog and Excalibur can be used to do this, or a skilled enough user of true magic (or EXTREMELY high-leveled magecraft) can possibly hijack and close it.
Relationship with Patron: For the first three days of the Scaphism ritual, Scheherazade had not yet made contact with Mnomquah/The Prisoner- instead, it was her first foray into The Dreamlands, where the amount of mental anguish from her drew attention the of Oorn, wife of Mnomquah, an entity worshipped by the Men of Leng in the North. Seeing an opportunity, a message was sent to her husband who was trapped within the Moon, who then made contact with the tortured woman. While terror was what ruled her mind at first, the desperation Scheherazade felt with her current situation drove her to any possibility to avoid it. And thus, she began to correspond with the captured deity, who as they spoke, she began to see as sort of a kindred spirit- a fellow prisoner who, at least as he told her, "merely wanted to see his love and ensure her safety and prosperity". It was an understandable goal for Scheherazade, one that unfortunately got her foot in the door for her mind to be warped for the goals of her patron. Even the milk and honey which was forced upon her, which she naturally hated initially, was something that became tolerable in her boat-based cocoon. The "Protection" of earth spoken about in her third NP is actually only an idea she grew to accept after trading her eyes- something she originally rejected when pitched after her rescue, but now, she literally shares perspective with him, seeing in the same way he does without his. It's a tinted glasses scenario that heavily skews her thinking, hence agreeing to the machinations.
Design Notes:
- Another Fighting Game Servant, the second hidden character alongside Neil Armstrong. She'd be a weird sorta gimmick character due to her trait of completely free-floating movement via the boat, but her actual moves are reasonably standard, with a setplay lean.
- Mad Props to DelRey for giving me a better patron than Apocolothoth, fuck that thing, I cannot think of it's name without being driven to a seething fury anymore.
- The form of her familiar is based off of a Bull Wasp! I chose that form, as Bulls and Wasps are very similar to creatures that create milk and honey (Cows and Bees), but ultimately don't themselves. Funny little design thing that I thought was clever, considering her nature as both a Foreigner and an Alter
- She's my favorite Caster, so when Cursed By Fortuna brought up the concept when I was first discussing my concepts for the FG and grail war tied in with it, I kinda fell in love with the idea- thus, making her the only character added in post. Hope I did a decent enough job!
- In the war, she's the "Threat to Humanity" Ruler Jalter is tasked with going after. However, they never meet, as she has the misfortune of making contact with Rider Armstrong.
- If she were to make it to earth, there's a good chance she could be stopped from expanding Enno-Lunn by telling her about audiobooks and Braille- she misses reading THAT MUCH.
- After multiple centuries of milk and honey, she very much prefers to avoid sweetly-flavored things if she can help it. She doesn't dislike it, she physically and mentally CAN'T, but there is a sense of monotony.
- Aside from tyrants, she has no ill-will towards humanity, only wishing to keep them safe in the twisted sense of her Patron.
- The Moon of the Dreamlands is specifically NOT connected to the moon/Moon Cell. The point at which Scheherazade Alter appears is merely within the moon's shadow, before landing on it's surface.
- No source on the image background, I used Midjourney AI to make it
- Mnomquah's reason for Alter to activate 2nd Deluge is in order to exploit a loophole in his imprisonment- by expanding his prison in the moon to another dimension, and engulfing a planet, he is effectively free, as his prison has no walls to contain him with. As the Dreamlands are a dimension parallel to our own, doing so on the moon would likely not work. Instead, earth is preserved with honey, a substance that doesn't spoil, and crystalizes over time if left to the elements, creating a sort of firmament, while keeping the inhabitants in a state of suspended, eternal sleep. The Milk then sustains the god while he and Scheherazade Alter gather mana to bring Oorn out of the Dreamlands and into the waking world.
- With the feedback received, I debated removing, but ultimately decided to keep the ++ modifier on Territory Creation, as representative of how large the scale she's casting it on is. Lowering it was an excellent point though.
Last edited by Vididii; August 1st, 2022 at 12:48 PM. Reason: Added New Patron Lore, Revised skills
As the foreigner dude i have to comment on this.
You were creative in making something beautiful and tasty like milk & honey into something eldritch. Thats good stuff.
But I stand indifferent to the Servant and the God. But why is clear, because it is a simple "I want her to" because its your favorite. So i see past that.
Still the reason Im not drawn to it as a Foreigner is because there is no clear line that makes me say "of course they are connected".
You found this torture method, weaved an OG story for her to connect these two concepts, thought what kind of god could fit and just settle on the moon instead - a hella obscure one as you noticed yourself. With that line of thought, anyone who is known to have died like this could be eligible for the god.
I am so free and suggest another outer god that may be a better fit for the exact same concept: https://lovecraft.fandom.com/wiki/Mnomquah
A god residing in the moon of the Dreamlands, where stories of our imaginations are true. The god with empty sockets as eyes, it is trapped in the oily black sea it rules over.
See? moon, stories/dreams, empty eyes, entrapped, black sea/her...stuff. It paints a picture of similarity that grants a reason for why she of all people became a Foreigner.
Your god is from the 70s? Idk, this one is from 84. Both are too early for my personal pool of Foreigner Gods I use, but its ur game.
Note: If this was just a fighting game character i stumbled across without a recognizable name for me, I would think thats a hella sick design.
"Let's see the color of your coin, my friend."
Behold my vault of Heroes.
Where the Heavens and the Abyss breath the Music of Humanity.
The King's duty is to provide. And provide, I shall.
University of Formatting | Gallery of Potential | Memorandum of the Extra Class Kings
Our Kingdom will grow. And we shall know each citizen.
Create-a-Servant 4 soon.
Eyy, ty so much for the praise man- I'm gonna revise the sheet with Mnomquah, because fucking christ, you're right on all accounts in the regards toward the choice in patron. That's actually insanely helpful man, tysm
So, as to comment on this version before revisions, let's begin!
Scheherazade Alter: I'm in agreement with Del on the god, but so not to repeat what has already been said, I'll move on to other portions. There is a lot to like in the sheet, like the really cool, step-by-step summoning protocol, and the incredible design of the art. And with the NP's, barring the fact I think the second and third could just be combined together, they all are intriguing and quite fitting of the servant, although can't say if it works for the god you chose, for the same reason you outlined. The only bits or critic I personally think are necessary are for Storyteller and the Territory Creation. Both bear a strong resemblance to the normal form, being basically one to one. I'd personally suggest of the same treatment that created Honeypot of Survival. Neither need to be eliminated, but expanding on the storyteller like happens with Caster after strengthening quests, and perhaps dropping the Territory Creation rank a bit feels appropriate. She did fail where Caster succeeded.
Either way, I think the sheet is a really nice piece of work overall, and I do look forward to the re-design, since I'm certain it'll be just as good, if not better.
Eyy, thanks man- definitely get the qualms on skills, you're definitely right on that stuff.
V2 is up!
(Also, glad to hear you guys like the design, I was actually real worried it'd be too funky lmao)
Source: Eva Lopez on Artstation
Class: Rider
Other Classes: N/A
True Name: Berenice II
Alignment: Lawful Neutral
Place of Origin: Egypt (200s BCE )
Parameters:
STR: D
END: B
AGI: C
MGI: A
LCK: C
NP: B
Height: 185cm
Weight: 140lbs
Likes: Stars, salvation for her allies, holding authority
Dislikes: Not holding authority, eclipses
Talent: Becoming a Benefactor Goddess
Natural Enemy: Christopher Columbus
Attribute: Sky
Traits: Female, Weak to Enuma Elish, Humanoid
Armament: Coma Berenices
Catalyst: A mosaic depicting her
Class Skills:
Riding D++: Despite being a rider class servant, she didn't ride many vehicles, resulting in this low rank. However, if she rides a chariot or ship, she gains a rank-up to this skill, allowing her to utilize it to the maximum of its performance, and if she taps into her connection to Cynisca she receives an additional rank-up.
Magic Resistance A: As an ascended goddess, she receives a fairly high rank in this skill, allowing her to resist most modern magecraft.
Personal Skills:
Thea Euergetis B: She was worshipped as a benefactor goddess, granting her this composite skill incorporating Divinity at rank B and the capability to grant her protection to any other being, weakening attacks below rank C. This also constantly extends to her, weakening any attacks below Rank B.
Godly Connection A: The sublimation of her connecting herself with five beings, allowing her to tap into any one of them, though only one at once: Aphrodite allows her to gain Looks of Loveliness, Isis gives her Passive HP Regen, Io gives her Monstrous strength, making her look more bull-like, Demeter allows her to get Passive Mana Regen, and Cynisca ranks up her Riding skill.
Rallying Forces B: The sublimation of the incident in which she mounted a horse and rallied the remaining forces after her father was routed, killing many of the opposing forces and forcing the rest to retreat. This manifests in a skill that automatically triggers whenever she is "losing" a battle, triggering a morale boost for all of her allies while increasing their power, and a fear effect for their enemies.
Noble Phantasm(s):
To Naftiko
Ptolomaic Shipwreck
Type: Anti-Army
Rank: D+
Range: 130 Meters
Max Targets: 100 targets
The sublimation of a few things: The Ptolomaic navy's supremacy over the waters, the depictions of her wearing a prow-shaped crown and anchor-shaped brooch, and her being revered as a goddess to ward off shipwrecks. This manifests as a copy of a vessel built by her son, Ptolemy IV, the Tessarakonteres. Normally, due to the vessel's impracticality as a battleship and her merely "borrowing" it from her son, this would not be very powerful. However, due to her ability to ward off shipwrecks, she has developed a usage of this that allows her to utilize the ship's ramming attack at full momentum in a way that would normally be a Broken Phantasm. However, as she can ward off shipwrecks, it does not shatter, remaining a proper Noble Phantasm.
Coma Berenices
My Starry Hair
Type: Anti-Unit
Rank: B
Range: 30 meters
Max Targets: 1
The sublimation of "Berenice's Hair", a constellation created by her sacrificing her long hair as an offering to Aphrodite if Ptolemy III returned safely, which he did. It passively manifests as her hair, which is glowing and fairly long, capable of moving at her will. It is also intensely hot, and can fire beams of light. Upon its true name activation, she once again vows to sacrifice her hair, being able to "assure safety" for one particular being in one particular battle, no matter how unlikely or impossible it is. However, after using this her hair burns away and neither the passive nor active effects remain.
Lore: Berenice II was the queen of Cyrenaica and queen of Egypt, and the wife of Ptolemy III. She was most noted for the anecdote in which she offered to sacrifice her long hair if Ptolemy III returned home safely, which he did, so she sacrificed it. Then astronomers spotted a constellation in the sky and named it Coma Berenices, believing that Aphrodite had placed her hair in the sky due to her piety.
After death, she was deified.
Personality: A fierce warrior, she adores battling. However, she doesn't love showing it, because of her image as a "Benevolent Goddess", so will only let loose in times of disaster. She deeply respects the prior Egyptian pharoahs, and appreciates the work of all of the following ones. Her wish for the Grail is that her son's regent was never Sosibius, for he murdered her and the following queen.
Relationships:
Ptolemy III: "I'm glad you've returned safely."
Ptolemy IV: "My son! How have you been? I hope you do not mind my borrowing your ship."
Christopher Columbus: "How dare you try to prey upon people's fears of an eclipse? Well, the night shall always be light now."
Ptolemy I Soter: "Revered ancestor. A pleasure to meet you.... Phew, we're letting down images now. Would you like to spar? I'd love to see your might and compare it."
Ptolemy I Soter (Servantverse): "What... happened? And what is a 'Serapeum'?"
Nitocris: "Your flooding was impressive, but I must admit I am confused by those ghosts."
Iskandar: "Oh great King of Conquerors, a pleasure to meet the revered ancestor who conquered such a large swathe of the world."
Cleopatra: "You did the best you could, and that best was incredible. Don't be so angry at yourself."
Berenice: I love the star-hair NP. Reminds me a little of what I did for Samson where she could channel the heat of the sun's rays through her hair.
Thanks for your feedback Royd!
Source: Mabo9317
Class: Ruler
Other Classes: N/A
True Name: The Butterfly Effect "Henrietta"
Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
Place of Origin: America (20th Century)
Stars: 5/5
Parameters:
STR: A
END: D
AGI: A
MGI: C
LCK: A
NP: A+
Height: 191cm
Weight: 70lbs
Likes: Flying
Dislikes: Staying still
Talent: Causing tornados
Natural Enemy: Y2K
Attribute: Earth
Traits: Weak to Enuma Elish
Armament: No weapons
Catalyst: The idea of the Butterfly Effect
Class Skills:
True Name Discernment B: She is capable of easily finding out other servants' identities as soon as she sees them, granted to her as a Class Skill by her sheer universality.
Magic Resistance A-: Most magic is utterly shrugged off by Henrietta, who, as the manifestation of the butterfly effect, holds a high enough level of Mystery to negate most modern magic despite her modernity. However, magic focusing on mathematics or weather forecasting can go through as if this was C ranked.
God's Resolution B-: One command spell is granted for every participant in the Holy Grail War. However, her command spells randomly target participants, and as such this has received a negative modifier.
Personal Skills:
The Wind Beneath My Wings A: The metaphor of the Butterfly Effect was a flap of a butterfly's wings causing a tornado. This anecdote has been sublimated into a skill, allowing Henrietta to control wind and shoot it by flapping her wings. In addition, this can also cause storms, as the original metaphor was a gull causing a storm.
Recurrence B: Recurrence is a system she runs on, the idea that after a sufficiently long but finite time, systems will return to a state arbitrarily close to their initial state. This allows her to force recurrence, causing her to designate a given time and cause the system that she targets to reset to it in a period between one day and four days, randomly varying.
Ensemble Forecasting A: The idea of Ensemble Forecasting was created to handle the butterfly effect of problems, and as such the manifestation of the butterfly effect gains this as a skill. This allows Henrietta to designate a series of potential predictions for a certain thing, allowing within two days at least one of them to come true.
Noble Phantasm(s):
Chaos Butterfly
One Flap Of The Wings Causes A Tornado
Type: Anti-Fortress
Rank: A+
Range: Infinite
Max Targets: Infinite
The ultimate principle that Henrietta runs on, the idea of the Butterfly Effect that she is made up of conceptualized. When activated, Henrietta makes a single minute movement. Then, a random disaster becomes set in stone, whether it be an earthquake, tsunami, tornado, or any other thing at an arbitrary point on the globe. The ultimate idea of the Butterfly Effect that harms impartially.
Lore: The Butterfly Effect is the idea of a single tiny change causing larger and larger changes to happen, creating a titanic change. It was given under the idea that a butterfly flapping its wings could cause a tornado in a wildly different place. This servant is the manifestation of the effect, and she has taken the name Henrietta in honor of one of her creators, Henri Poincare.
Personality: Chaotic, she is constantly moving and soaring, which constantly causes violent winds that knock about anyone near her. She dislikes any form of restrictions on her chaos, and is impartial in it, which is why she has been summoned as a Ruler class. She has no wish for the holy grail, for she merely enjoys constantly spreading chaos whenever she can find it.
Relationships:
Laplace's Demon: "Why are you constantly viewing everything from the outside? Wouldn't you prefer to just step in?"
Descartes's Evil Demon: "Omnipotence? I'd rather just keep causing chaos."
Y2K: "Oh, a living computer bug? Take advantage of that! Cause chaos! Don't just coop yourself in your room all day."
Maxwell's Demon: "You are fun!"
BB: "I love your chaos, but... why do you do so little of it?"
Quetzalcoatl: "Why do you care about those humans so much?"
Last edited by jishara; October 15th, 2022 at 11:24 PM.
Source: ArtKyarith
Class: Avenger
Other Classes: N/A
True Name: La Candileja
Alignment: Neutral Evil
Place of Origin: Columbian folklore
Stars: 1/5
Parameters:
STR: E
END: D
AGI: E
MGI: D
LCK: E
NP: C
Height: 181cm
Weight: 110lbs
Likes: Destroying humanity
Dislikes:HumanityThose who "Could Have Saved Her"
Talent: Burning humanity away
Natural Enemy: BB (Summer), Skadi
Attribute: Earth
Traits: Female, Humanoid, Weak to Enuma Elish
Armament: Bolefuego
Catalyst: A single candle wick found in a house burned to ashes
Class Skills:
Oblivion Correction A: No matter how long it takes, her vengeance against all of humanity will be enacted, and she will doom them all for not saving her and her grandchildren from the fire, no matter how impossible it was to do so.
Self-Replenishment (Mana) C: Her mana constantly surges until her vengeance is finally released, allowing her to recover a small amount of energy every turn.
Avenger A: The nature of an Avenger who draws grudges upon herself. She is seen as a horrifying, vengeful spirit who let her grandchildren run wild and materialized as a ghost who attempted to murder anyone she came across.
Personal Skills:
Combination A-: Her two grandchildren have united with her, manifesting as parts of the flame that engulfs her. They are capable of moving synchronously fairly well, though the grandchildren mmay disobey her instructions if she feels like it. She would prefer not to send them to battle with her, but for the sake of taking their vengeance... they join the battlefield.
Hatred of Humanity A: A variation of Mental Pollution, anything done by a being she counts as a part of "Humanity" will be ignored, whether it be horrifying effects, charms, sobs, any form of mental alteration will be ignored, for she believes no matter what they say, Humanity must be destroyed.
Garbed In Flame C: The flame that killed her and her grandchildren remains, constantly engulfing her. This flame is extremely hot and automatically feels hard to touch, making it a lot harder to physically attack her. In addition, weapons placed within this flame that are not Noble Phantasms will rapidly start to melt.
Noble Phantasm(s):
Bolefuego
The Flame Engulfing Us
Type: Anti-Army
Rank: C
Range: 96 meters
Max Targets: 300 targets
The sublimation of her power as a vengeful spirit made of pure flame. This passively manifests in the candle she holds in her hand, which can constantly spark and release fire as she wishes. Upon its true name being called, the flame engulfs the surrounding area, reenacting the moments of her and her grandchildren's death. Any being within is treated as "perishing in the fire", making it very hard to escape it. This does not include her, for she is always treated as "having already perished within the fire" and thus cannot be harmed by it.
Lore: La Candileja was once a grandmother who spoiled her two grandchildren far too much, tolerating any rudeness, debauchery, and cruel behavior that they displayed, without ever disciplining. Until they decided to burn down the house, tossing candles to the ground so that she could get a new one in their childish minds. However, none of the three were able to get out of the house in time, and they burned to death. So the grandmother manifested as a ghost, wishing to burn down any travelers that pass by.
Personality: Cruel and vengeful, she loves to torture anyone she thinks might have been able to save her if they were there, which includes anyone who she conceptualizes as "Human". She adores her grandchildren, even as they play around and cause chaos for her. Her wish for the Holy Grail would be to be able to kill every singlepersonally and tortuously.HumanPerson who could have saved them
Relationships:
Cu Chulainn: "You could have saved me. You could have saved us! You Must Die!"
BB (Summer): "Why aren't you burning? You need to burn just like how you left me to burn!"
Skadi: "I have no quarrel with you, oh great goddess, but please don't use ice! You're slowing my tor...wait, actually, continue using it please. In fact, use it more!"
Hessian Lobo: "I see you were also terribly hurt by humanity. How horrible."
Edmond Dantes: "Oh, the treasure of Monte Christo? Was that worth my life?"
Calamity Jane: "Are you human?"
Last edited by jishara; October 15th, 2022 at 11:27 PM.
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