Create-A-Servant 3

[Cataquack Warrior]

Peter Pan (Rider): A nice follow-up to your first Pan sheet. Her second NP flying through worlds sounds like it could make for pretty cool imagery. Have to say though Lawful Neutral seems like a weird Alignment for a whimsical pirate-captain. Can't imagine that fitting Hook himself, much less Pan. Wouldn't Chaotic Neutral make more sense there?

Glad you liked it. Actually, your tip on altering the Flying skill last time helped a lot. I've started editing each Flying skill into a unique skill for each class. This in turn let me add new elements to the Jolly Roger noble phantasm with the wind gimmick; before that, it was just a basic flying ship summon.

My reasoning for the Lawful Neutral? - emphasis on the question mark - is how Hook sort of represents the tyranny of adulthood, forcing all sorts of rules and expectations on children. Not to mention that Hook had a preoccupation with "good form" - part of his hatred for Peter Pan was how the boy naturally followed good form despite being so careless and carefree. Since the Rider persona symbolizes Peter right after beating Hook and acting like a stern pirate himself, I chose the Lawful Neutral? alignment in that Peter is imitating grown-up strictness. In fact, though, Peter is just treating the rules as just another game to play for the time being, so while Rider's alignment is officially Lawful Neutral, the question mark is meant to hint that Rider's alignment is more akin to Chaotic Neutral like you said beneath the facade of orderliness. Do you think I should clarify more on that in the bio, or change the alignment?

[RoydGolden]

Glad you liked it. Actually, your tip on altering the Flying skill last time helped a lot. I've started editing each Flying skill into a unique skill for each class. This in turn let me add new elements to the Jolly Roger noble phantasm with the wind gimmick; before that, it was just a basic flying ship summon.

My reasoning for the Lawful Neutral? - emphasis on the question mark - is how Hook sort of represents the tyranny of adulthood, forcing all sorts of rules and expectations on children. Not to mention that Hook had a preoccupation with "good form" - part of his hatred for Peter Pan was how the boy naturally followed good form despite being so careless and carefree. Since the Rider persona symbolizes Peter right after beating Hook and acting like a stern pirate himself, I chose the Lawful Neutral? alignment in that Peter is imitating grown-up strictness. In fact, though, Peter is just treating the rules as just another game to play for the time being, so while Rider's alignment is officially Lawful Neutral, the question mark is meant to hint that Rider's alignment is more akin to Chaotic Neutral like you said beneath the facade of orderliness. Do you think I should clarify more on that in the bio, or change the alignment?

No, that makes sense now. Thanks for the explanation.

[Kabalisto Koga]

Glad you liked it. Actually, your tip on altering the Flying skill last time helped a lot. I've started editing each Flying skill into a unique skill for each class. This in turn let me add new elements to the Jolly Roger noble phantasm with the wind gimmick; before that, it was just a basic flying ship summon.

My reasoning for the Lawful Neutral? - emphasis on the question mark - is how Hook sort of represents the tyranny of adulthood, forcing all sorts of rules and expectations on children. Not to mention that Hook had a preoccupation with "good form" - part of his hatred for Peter Pan was how the boy naturally followed good form despite being so careless and carefree. Since the Rider persona symbolizes Peter right after beating Hook and acting like a stern pirate himself, I chose the Lawful Neutral? alignment in that Peter is imitating grown-up strictness. In fact, though, Peter is just treating the rules as just another game to play for the time being, so while Rider's alignment is officially Lawful Neutral, the question mark is meant to hint that Rider's alignment is more akin to Chaotic Neutral like you said beneath the facade of orderliness. Do you think I should clarify more on that in the bio, or change the alignment?

Cataquack your two Versions of Pan are really good i must say but somewhat does it hints that Pan is more Evil as it seems but i must admit i dont know more About Peter pan then the movie from Disney . so i am curious About your other versions as i know from my Loki series that such ideas/Concept projects are rather interesting . i am curious how would she think of my Neferuseth ( it think as her moter figure should she allow Pan to do as she like the most time), my Steller as he is a Man which crossed the Sea ,especially would i be curious what she think of his mount ,and my Ada Muso given that she is also in some sense a "eternal child"?

[Cataquack Warrior]

Cataquack your two Versions of Pan are really good i must say but somewhat does it hints that Pan is more Evil as it seems but i must admit i dont know more About Peter pan then the movie from Disney . so i am curious About your other versions as i know from my Loki series that such ideas/Concept projects are rather interesting . i am curious how would she think of my Neferuseth ( it think as her moter figure should she allow Pan to do as she like the most time), my Steller as he is a Man which crossed the Sea ,especially would i be curious what she think of his mount ,and my Ada Muso given that she is also in some sense a "eternal child"?

Thanks! I have two more classes in mind: Assassin and Caster. Didn't really see anyway to make a template for the remaining classes; Peter doesn't have any history using weapons other than swords - thus taking out Archer and Lancer - and I couldn't come up with anything interesting for Berserker. though now that I think of it, Avenger could maybe work, emphasizing Pan's hatred for grown-ups.

As for being a little evil, I'm basing things mostly around Barrie's original play/book versions- where he had originally wanted to make Pan the villain. In the book, Peter does some unsettling things, like letting the boys plummet towards the ocean and only saving them at the last moment - and you were never sure if he might whimsically decide to just let them die at some point.

And yeah, you have some fascinating Servant designs. It really would be interesting to see what the different versions of Pan think of them. I think she'd like Ada Muso especially; I sort of think Peter, with her poor memory, would keep mixing things up and calling her Tiger Lily. I think Peter would sort of get along with Steller, but things might turn to conflict eventually, as while both enjoy the wonder of new discoveries and adventures, Peter is careless about the things she "plays" with, while Steller doesn't want to hurt them. As for Neferuseth, I think that while Peter might like her as a "mother", things would end badly, with Avenger's grown-up tastes frightening him; I have a feeling she'd be a prime candidate for the Hook for a Hand curse if her actions rubbed Saber the wrong way.

[Kabalisto Koga]

Thanks! I have two more classes in mind: Assassin and Caster. Didn't really see anyway to make a template for the remaining classes; Peter doesn't have any history using weapons other than swords - thus taking out Archer and Lancer - and I couldn't come up with anything interesting for Berserker. though now that I think of it, Avenger could maybe work, emphasizing Pan's hatred for grown-ups.

As for being a little evil, I'm basing things mostly around Barrie's original play/book versions- where he had originally wanted to make Pan the villain. In the book, Peter does some unsettling things, like letting the boys plummet towards the ocean and only saving them at the last moment - and you were never sure if he might whimsically decide to just let them die at some point.

And yeah, you have some fascinating Servant designs. It really would be interesting to see what the different versions of Pan think of them. I think she'd like Ada Muso especially; I sort of think Peter, with her poor memory, would keep mixing things up and calling her Tiger Lily. I think Peter would sort of get along with Steller, but things might turn to conflict eventually, as while both enjoy the wonder of new discoveries and adventures, Peter is careless about the things she "plays" with, while Steller doesn't want to hurt them. As for Neferuseth, I think that while Peter might like her as a "mother", things would end badly, with Avenger's grown-up tastes frightening him; I have a feeling she'd be a prime candidate for the Hook for a Hand curse if her actions rubbed Saber the wrong way.

Thank you for your answers and i am curious how would Pan think of when she sees Ada transform in adult form for examplewise combat ? how do you actually find my three servants actually like also are you curious about how my Steller would be in other classes ? And please take a look at my Loki series i am curious about your opinion ?

[Cataquack Warrior]

With Ada's adult form, I think Pan might, with her hazy memory, dissociate the two versions of Ada and see them as separate people. But since adult Ada still doesn't embody the Western, "civilized" vision of maturity, I think Pan would still think she's okay as a grown-up.

I'll have to take a closer look at all the Servants, but they're pretty neat. I definitely would like to see Steller in other class forms; I really like his naturalist ideals and his relationship with Sirene. I admit, I hadn't imagined Loki working as a Lancer, but you managed to make it work out great; it would be interesting to see what other classes you can make him into, and how he'd change.

[Kabalisto Koga]

With Ada's adult form, I think Pan might, with her hazy memory, dissociate the two versions of Ada and see them as separate people. But since adult Ada still doesn't embody the Western, "civilized" vision of maturity, I think Pan would still think she's okay as a grown-up.

I'll have to take a closer look at all the Servants, but they're pretty neat. I definitely would like to see Steller in other class forms; I really like his naturalist ideals and his relationship with Sirene. I admit, I hadn't imagined Loki working as a Lancer, but you managed to make it work out great; it would be interesting to see what other classes you can make him into, and how he'd change.

i think now that Adas adult form could Show Pan that there are also adults that are cool and perhaps could that ignite a sort of mental development in her .

Sbout Steller as Caster he has his Scholar aspect more emphased and use a sort of mixture of European Sorcery and Rusian - Inuit Shamanism as Magecraft type as he in my verseion has after the journey to the now called Aleuts researched the roots of the European cultures (=Pagan and animitic roots) aswell was he short time member of the Thaumaturgic side of the Russian Academy of Science ,inspired by the experiences with the Spirits beyond the pacific . and as noblephantasm has his first a oter effect in that he can summon more then one Giant seacow aswell will they have some more aspects i will at the Moment not explain or reveal .And his second Noblephantasm isnot Ship centred instead is it the Materialisation of the Ice Ocean and the mysterious Forests .

As Avenger he makes himself the cause for the Masss Slaughter of the Ocean Animals especially of the Whales ,the Sharks aswell the Sea cows and his first noblephantasm is not Sedna Sirenia instead one that let him summon the "oceanic victims of the Greed of Men" .

[Cursed by Fortuna]

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[RoydGolden]

I don't recall outright saying I disliked Alceides for his number of NPs, just that it was an irregularity and shouldn't be used as an example for other Servants with similar feats (given he only got that from being corrupted by the Grail and losing his normal "proof of completing the Twelve Labors"- God Hand).

In any case I feel like your Rostam's case is pulled off well enough, with the limitation that he can only use an NP after completing a "heroic deed" doing well to keep it from being overpowered.

[Cursed by Fortuna]

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[the god of world-0]

"Hey, Master, wanna live forever?"

Class: Caster
Alignment: Chaotic/Neutral
Region: China
Height: 136cm
Weight: 40kg
Likes: Fame, money, idio- I mean, trusting people
Dislikes: Distrustiful people, grains, her current form
Talent: Alchemy, lying
Armaments: fan, furnace
Natural Enemy: Xu Fu

Stats

Str: E
End: C
Agi: D
Mna: A
Lck: B
NP: B

Skills

Class Skills

Item Construction(EX): Caster has numerous anecdotes as a legendary alchemist who manufactures magical items, acquiring this Skill at EX Rank as a result. With this level, one can create a variety of tools, objects and so, like a Mana Converting Furnace, Curse Warding Talisman, or even an elixir that grants temporary immortality.

Territory Creation(B): At this level, the creation of a Workshop in which she can efficiently produce his items becomes possible.

Personal Skills

Natural body(Artificial)(A): The possession of a perfect body as a living being, but who was acquired through Artificial means. As a Xian, Caster has possession of an "immortal and unchanging body" who is not affected by age or illness. This skill also doubles as Battle Continuation at the same rank.

Familiar(Shiwu)(B): The Skill to summon and control heavenly spirits. These spirits have low combat capabilities but excel in other areas such as ritual preparations and spying. The number of familiars that can be engaged at one time is determined by the Master's Mana Capacity

Inner Alchemy(B): A type of Alchemy that diverges from the norm by focusing on Transmuting the practitioner's inner world instead of the outer world. It grants Caster the ability to, with some proper preparation, Boost his stats temporary by up to two ranks. As it requires a proper ritual and materials, it is not something that can be done willy nilly.

Noble Phantasm

Biographies of Divine Transcendence

Shenxian Zhuan

Rank: Anti-Unit(Self), B

A Noble Phantasm representing the legends about Immortality that have surrounded Caster. its name comes from a hagiography of immortals and description of Chinese gods, which describes Caster as such.
It will activate at the exact moment that she receives a fatal. When it does so, All the damage Caster has received across the fight will be instantly healed, and she will be able to immediately escape from further combat and reach a safe haven.
This is a one-time-only use Noble Phantasm. After the first activation, it's effect will become sealed until the end of the Holy Grail War. However, Caster's Master may choose to spend a Command Seal to restore this Noble Phantasm's use, if he so desires.
Originally, this Noble Phantasm was a Great Ritual from the Age of Gods which was designed to gift Eternal life and to allow the user to become an existence similar to a Divine Spirit, but it seems that Caster lacks the knowledge to use it like that, and some powerful force is deliberately withholding it from her.

Background

Caster's identity is that of Li Shaojun, a fangshi, reputed xian and retainer of Emperor Wu of Han. In the early history of Chinese waidan(External Alchemy), Caster is the only fangshi whose role is documented by both historical (for instance, Shiji) and alchemical (Baopuzi) sources.
Caster has fame as the earliest known Chinese alchemist. She appears before the Emperor when he is torn between two factions: the fangshi, who maintained that Wu should emulate the Yellow Emperor and obtain immortality through performing the rituals, and the Confucianist court officials, who suggested that the emperor should only express gratitude to Heaven and Earth.
Caster claims to have learned from the Immortal Anqi Sheng, and directs the Emperor to perform from Cizao(sacrifice to the furnace/stove) and Gudao(the Way of avoiding grains, aka bigu, Daoist grain avoidance) as methods to attain longevity/immortality. The legend goes then that, having obtained imperial patronage to purchase the expensive alchemical ingredients, Li prepared the immortality elixir for himself, feigned illness, and performed Shijie (liberation by means of a simulated corpse)to escape from not only from death but also from his demanding patron. However, in reality, it seems Caster never managed to reach Immortality.
The youthful form in which she is summoned greatly differs from the one Caster had when alive, and it seems that she was Cursed with it by a powerful entity, but she refuses to divulge any further information.

personality

Caster is a trickster and a liar, a specialist at saying what others want to hear. Her nature is a greedy one, and she will act on in her self interest most of the time.
It's not that she is evil, but Caster is definitely selfish to a fault. While she will not go out of her to cause harm to others, Caster will not think twice about causing great amounts of pain to someone else if she thinks she can gain something from it.
In Caster's own opinion, her ideal Master would be a clueless guy who believes in everything she says and follows her every command, but it's very likely that in a situation like that, she would just get herself killed by going too far and messing with opponents outside her range of capabilities. In true, Caster's ideal master is someone who could accept her selfish persona while not being fooled by it and is capable of reining her in when she starts getting too excited.
On an extra note, do not mention her appearance, especially her height. She is quite sensitive about that.

[King of Padoru]

“Yahoo! La Maupin is back on town to turn it upside down! Whoa, what a rhyme I just made! Maybe I should try being a poet this time!”

[IMG]****************************file/d/1BM6tHRjXD79nWFIidChqXjRIqFDVqrg2/view?usp=sharing[/IMG]

Class: Saber
Identity: Julie d’Aubigny
Gender: Female
Source: Historical fact
Origin: France
Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
Height: 161 cm
Weight: 48 kg


Parameters:
Strength: D
Endurance: D
Agility: B
Mana: C
Luck: B
NP: C

Skills

Class skills

Magic Resistance: C
An unbefitting rank for a Saber.
Cancels spells with a chant of two verses or lower.
---
[Increase own debuff resistance (15%).]

Riding: B
Thanks to her Better than You at Everything skill, Julie can steer any vehicle and mount any normal creature with the same degree of skill as an expert.
---
[Increase own Quick effectiveness (8%).]

Personal skills

Loveable Scumbag: A
A charismatic nature outside the norm that isn’t fit for leadership, but rather for being admired. Julie’s conduit was far from being a role model of good behavior, but even so everyone idolized her and was amused with her actions. She was just so charming that she avoided two death sentences because the king enjoyed her actions.
Repels grudges and prevents punishment to the point that it’s practically impossible to hate her no matter what she does. The kind of girl that could say “Oopsie whoopsie, I screwed up again. I’m so clumsy, teehee~☆” whenever she does anything wrong and would be immediately forgiven.
---
[Apply debuff immunity to self (2 times, 3 turns).]
[Give Evasion to self (2 times, 3 turns).]

Better than You at Everything: B
A superhuman learning capacity summed to a prodigious talent. Basically, if Julie puts her mind into it, there’s nothing she can do, and she does everything at the level of an expert. She’ll kick every fencer’s ass, make you cry with her songs, and bang your couple like you could never hope to do, with no effort at all. The only real disadvantage is that this skill only applies to things Julie actually wants to do, and only if she wants them to do at the moment. Even if she already mastered an ability, if she doesn’t want to make use of it, she will be as good as a newbie.
Needless to say, even though this skill allows to learn several talents, it doesn’t grant access to a repertoire of skills as vast as Imperial Privilege.
---
[Increase own NP gain (20 – 30%) for 3 turns.]
[Increase own critical star generation rate (20 – 30%) for 3 turns.]
[Increase own Buster card star absorption rate (200 – 300%) for 3 turns.]

Quirky and Random: EX
Unpredictability and recklessness beyond common sense. Hare-brained ideas that Julie will perform as soon as she comes up with them, and that may harm enemies, allies, or even herself.
From dressing her mistress’ head with turnips to burning down a convent to suddenly stabbing herself with a dagger, nobody can fathom the destructiveness of her next action, hence the rank EX.
---
[Gain (5 – 10) critical stars every turn for 5 turns.]
[Grant Confusion status to all enemies for 5 turns: (30 – 50%) chance to seal their skills for 1 turn every turn that ignores debuff resistance and debuff success rate.]
[Grant Confusion status to all allies for 5 turns: (30 – 50%) chance to seal their skills for 1 turn every turn that ignores debuff resistance and debuff success rate. (Demerit).]

Noble Phantasm

Tout pour l’amour, l’amour pour tout

All for love, and love for all

[Grant Guts (2,000 HP) to self for 1 time, 3 turns.]
[Increase own defense (10 – 30%) for 3 turns.]
Overcharge: [Increase own critical strength (40 – 80%) for 3 turns.]

Type: Anti-Unit
Rank: C
Range: 1~5
Maximum number of targets: 1 person

Julie d’Aubigny was a free spirit that wasn’t bound by any type of rules, yet there was a main motivation for everything she did, and that was love. She fought for love, stole for love, destroyed for love, and obviously killed for love. And in return, she became a figure loved by many, in spite of her felonies. No matter where she goes, love is sure to follow, either shared by her or given to her. And since they say love is the greatest power that moves people, a girl that is fueled solely by it like Julie could potentially become unstoppable.

Julie’s strength is determined by how much she is loved by the masses, in other words, by her popularity. In order to make use of this Noble Phantasm, she needs to make herself known by ordinary people for her actions. It goes against the basic principle of preserving Mystery, but it’s compensated by not needing to reveal her True Name. As long as she is loved by people, she will collect their love and strengthen herself. Her power rises accordingly to the gathered love, as a sort of Fame boost, but she can willingly consume part of it to further increase her power momentarily as well.

But Julie wasn’t just on the receiving end in terms of affection. She also gave her love to many others, men and women alike. Therefore, it’s possible to transfer the power she has gained like this to other people, at the cost of weakening herself. Given her anecdote in which she fell in love with a nobleman after defeating him in a duel, it isn’t unlikely that she actually tries to use this property on an enemy to save their lives.

Character

Personality

A hedonistic daredevil with a cheeky smile that does whatever she wants, whenever she wants, and because she wants, regardless of her surroundings. She always does dangerous stuff that may put everyone’s lives in danger, including her own, without thinking about the consequences. Picking up a fight with a random civilian and killing them isn’t excluded, much to everyone’s dismay. Yet for some reason, no matter what she does, she always does it so charmingly that nobody can afford to hate her. This incomprehensible appeal makes it so difficult to hate her that she could possibly ruin a whole country and everybody would clap.

Julie may be too self-centered, but when it comes to love, she devotes her entire self. Everything she has done, she claims to have done it out of love. It will always be like that, back then, right now, and forever. No matter if it’s a man or a woman, if she finds a new lover during this summoning, she will fight tooth and nail to defend them if they’re neutral or on her side, and will fight tooth and nail to kill them if they are unfortunately enemies.


Treatment with the Master

A good friend and a partner in crime. Given Julie’s way of being, the Master will have to assume the responsibility for whatever ruckus she causes and take care of not being accidentally killed by her recklessness.
In the case they end up becoming Julie’s lover for some reason, they will have the best ally they could wish for.


Dialogue examples

Bond 1: “Always for love, sometimes for food, and a few times just because I’m horny! From performances to duels to death and plain arson, lil’ Julie is your girl for everything! Yup, leave everything to me!”

Bond 2: “Hey, Master! Do you have any of those ‘smart-phone’ thingies? You know, it’s a pain to go challenging all the people I wanna challenge one by one when there are so many, so I thought sending ’em a text message would be faster!”

Bond 3: “Let me tell you a little secret. … It’s a bit embarrassing even for me, but the truth is I have a ‘nun fetish’. They’re so innocent and pure and have all their assets covered, that’s so cute! … Okay, now that I said it I regret it a lot…”

Bond 4: “Huh?! Excuse me, how dare you ask if I entered that convent to forget everything by being surrounded by lots of nuns?! I’ll have you know I have stabbed people at taverns for things less stupid than that! …Well, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t hope that a beautiful and understanding nun comforted me…”

Bond 5: “Okay, Master! I haven’t fallen in love with you yet, but I’m 95% sure you are head over heels for me! So let’s keep causing trouble together until the end! Dontcha worry, if you die I’ll make sure to give you a proper burial and mourn your death! Just don’t ask me to enter a convent again!”

Likes: “What do I like? Well, I actually swing both ways, so I’m fine with either a cute girl or a hot guy... If you didn’t mean that, what did you mean then?”

Dislikes: “Hmmm, I don’t really hate anything. Well, there are always people that piss you off but nothing a good ol’ prank or a few stabs between the ribs can’t solve.”

Wish for the Grail: “I really want to think I lived without any regrets, but I’ll be damned if I don’t want to have a shot with that Marquoise de Florensac! So yeah, give me the Grail and I’ll ask to revive her, or heal her, or whatever! I just want to be with her, mmkay?”

Personal data

Historical depiction

Julie d’Aubigny, Mademoiselle de Maupin, was a French woman born in the 17^th century as the daughter of Louis XV’s Master of the Horse’s secretary. Since her father was in charge of tutoring the court pages, Julie was raised to learn how to dance, read, dance, and handle a sword.

Julie got married to Sieur de Maupin when she was 17,who was forced to move to the south of the country shortly after the wedding, but she remained in Paris. Soon, she set her sights on an assistant fencing master, and both fled to Marseille together after killing a man in an illegal duel. During their travel, they made a living of fencing exhibitions and singing at taverns, with Julie dressing as a man (but acting as a girl). Once they arrived to Marseille, Julie joined an opera company and eventually returned to Paris.

Three years later, Julie managed to join the Paris Opéra, acting firstly as a soprano and later in her natural tone as a contralto. Her voice went to be praised as “the most beautiful singing voice in the world”. In her career as a singer, she participated in newly created operas by composers of the time. It’s worth mentioning that the role of Clorinda in André Campra’s ‘Tancrède’ was made specifically to suit Julie’s contralto.

Though a remarkable opera singer, Julie d’Aubigny not only became famous for her singing. She was also an incredibly talented fencer that was said to be the best in France, having participated in several duels, almost all of them to death. Her multiple adventures with love are also a fundamental part of her character. She once fell in love with a nobleman whose wounds she tended after having inflicted them in a duel, and she burned down a whole convent just to abduct a nun she was fond of, replacing her with the corpse of a recently dead sister.

Julie was far from being an average citizen, and her misdeeds earned her up to two death penalties. However, news about this peculiar character reached the king’s ear and, amused with her, he decided to spare her life on both occasions. Nevertheless, this didn’t save her from an unavoidable bad ending. Unable to bear the death of Madame la Marquoise de Florensac, who was said to be the most beautiful woman in France and who died of a fever, Julie decided to enter a convent, where she would spend the rest of her days until she passed away at age 33 of unknown reasons. It is said her corpse was thrown into the rubbish heap.


Related characters

Billy the Kid
Duel? Sure thing! Wanna do it to death, or you prefer a penalty game? Big sis won’t hold back with the penalty just ‘cause you’re cute. In fact, that’s gonna make it worse for you.

Miyamoto Musashi
Holy cow, those badonkers sure are a turn-on! Imagine being squished by those in the middle of a fight…… Hey, udon girl! Duel! Now!

Gareth
Of course I’m fine with jousting, who gives a damn if I never used a spear? If you and your baby hands have no problem holding one, I sure as hell am fine!

Astolfo
Pretty sure we’re soulmates from different times. And seriously, I don’t give a damn about your gender ‘cause you’re so goddamn cute!

Chevalier d’Eon
Okay, I have a little dilemma over here… I don’t know what I wanna find out first: how good they are with the sword, or what’s under their pants.

Charlotte Corday
Never knew holding a knife can make a nun hotter than she’s already.
Julie: New fetish acquired!

Sesshōin Kiara
…Wrong nun. WRONG NUN!!

With a "music + swords + love + shitty ending related to love" thematic in common, I think Sayaka makes a perfect FC. I try not to do characters that have been done already a bunch of times, but this was a funny sheet to do. The NP is the worst part in my opinion, but that's because all the good ideas were already taken.

[RoydGolden]

Julie: This is a really fun sheet. I never would've imagined her with a Sayaka FC but I have to admit with the "devoted to love" angle you kind of made it fit. I love the names of her Skills, and it just made me think that Julie is basically a teenage girl's fanfic OC come to life (except better written, obviously). Omnitalented, loved by everyone despite her ridiculous actions, "quirky and random" demeanor the author totally thinks is cool, etc.

Her NP is a bit similar to what I've seen in other D’Aubigny sheets here, but for a relatively grounded figure like her there's only so many angles to work with when brainstorming a fitting NP. I do like the touch of her sharing her power with her opponents to revive them after beating them. Very Shonen protag "defeats means friendship" vibes there.

[the god of world-0]

Julie d’Aubigny: As my personal Historical crush, I am obligated to comment on every version of Maupin I see, so here I go.

To start the Skills are very creative. I begrudgingly love Loveble Scumbag, probably as intended, and Quirk and Random is terrifying but ridiculously in character. However, I think Better than You at Everything, although creative, is a little bit too much. Not all Skill needs to be unique, and Just Talented at Every Field (Richard's prodigy Skill from Strange fake) would be enough. I also bemoan the lack of specialized Fencing or Duelist Skill or a straight-up Charm related to her beauty, but that is a minor nitpick.

The NP... I am sorry, but it doesn't work for me. I understand the logic of it, and Julie was an opera singer, which is kind of the rockstar of her time, but I don't feel like Fame is so important to her story. In fact, a lot of her escapades have her disguise herself, so... yeah.

Finally, her personality. I like how you tried to go opposite to the personality that Maupin is usually depicted with, and in a lot of ways, you succeeded. However, you may have leaned too much into the "Douche" part of the "Lovable Douche" trope, which kind of makes her a bit unlikable, and Since being liked by everyone is kind of the point of her character, she ends up feeling like "Mary Sue" rather than an unbelievable but still real person. One of my favorite details about Maupin's story is how she ended up her life in anonymity because of a broken heart, showing that she was, in fact, human. Your sheet lacks a bit of that.

Anyway, I hope you don't find me to harsh. As previously stated, I am a massive, MASSIVE, fan of Julie d’Aubigny, which means that my standards are a bit on the higher side this particular time, but this was still pretty enjoyable. If it makes you feel better, you can shit on my previous Li Shaojun post, I won't judge you for it.

[King of Padoru]

*snip*

It's okay, the parts you addressed are the ones that I thought were worse (specially the NP), so it's good to see I'm not the only one that thinks so. I blame my lack of research and intention to make her different from other sheets for her becoming a sort of Mary Sue.

Regarding her second skill… well, I haven't read much about the skills introduced in SF, so I didn't know Richard already had a prodigy skill. I can change it, but I'll leave the name as it is even if it's the same skill, same as how Jaguar Man has her skills' names changed to "Jaguar + something". Her fencing and charm were supposed to be encompassed by this skill.

I'm not going to shit on your Li Shaojun because first I don't know much about them and second because the sheet looks quite good, but haven't you posted it in the contest too? Correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought that wasn't allowed

[the god of world-0]

It is? I record having done it a few times.
It was kind of an accident. I posted here and only after remembered that the contest existed

[Zork Knight]

People talk about Simo Haya but I'm pretty sure this hoe gets at least one new sheet per month.

[WhiteFrenzy]

People talk about Simo Haya but I'm pretty sure this hoe gets at least one new sheet per month.

Ah, I'm not trying to be the Devil's advocate or anything, but characters like Hou Yi, d’Aubigny or Simo Häyha are charming. And also easy to write about. They're prominent in the Fate scene, so there's also a lot to gather as inspiration.

It's always nice to see the different interpretations people give to them, there's always a new flavor to each sheet. For example, with this one I lovelovelove her Skills. Each of them left me thinking "lol this truly is like her" (again a great point of Padoru's sheets, she knows so well how to blend the lore in the skills I WISH I HAD THAT ABILITY HAHA). And I love her cheeky personality, it's like my favorite interpretation of this character. ...What I was trying to say, before this becoming a gushing over her sheet, is that there's always possibility of a new view on a character, even with so many sheets around there. It only takes a creative mind for that.

[Kabalisto Koga]

Ah, I'm not trying to be the Devil's advocate or anything, but characters like Hou Yi, d’Aubigny or Simo Häyha are charming. And also easy to write about. They're prominent in the Fate scene, so there's also a lot to gather as inspiration.

It's always nice to see the different interpretations people give to them, there's always a new flavor to each sheet. For example, with this one I lovelovelove her Skills. Each of them left me thinking "lol this truly is like her" (again a great point of Padoru's sheets, she knows so well how to blend the lore in the skills I WISH I HAD THAT ABILITY HAHA). And I love her cheeky personality, it's like my favorite interpretation of this character. ...What I was trying to say, before this becoming a gushing over her sheet, is that there's always possibility of a new view on a character, even with so many sheets around there. It only takes a creative mind for that.

Well that lets me think that i made servants from charackters that werent before hm that werent approached before like my Georg Steller,Thales of Milet or Kay Kawus that werent before adapted as servants , so can it be said and i dont think i praise here myself or something like that now , went the difficult route as especially in the case of Scholars or Philosophs are difficult to adapt into servants but i find also difficult to take on charackters that are having to much source like the Round table knight as they are also in the regard of beings a core aspect of the nasuverse (beside that i didnt know in Depth About the Arthurian complex of the legends )

[asterism42]

how many maupins have we had now