Page 230 of 270 FirstFirst ... 130180220225228229230231232235240 ... LastLast
Results 4,581 to 4,600 of 5385

Thread: Create-A-Servant 3

  1. #4581
    祖 Ancestor Kabalisto Koga's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2018
    Location
    The H/eart/h of Europe
    Age
    25
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    1,678
    Blog Entries
    4
    Quote Originally Posted by DelRey View Post
    I Just a quick Idea I had, what would u folks think about a small thread dedicated only to Servant Ideas. Concepts you discarded or dont have the motivation or creativity to bring to life. To keep it compact I would say each creator has one post they can update over time.
    I remember how many posted their ideas here in this thread, but as soon as a new page starts these posts rot in the shadows with no way to really inspire others who have skipped it or werent looking for inspiration at that time.
    Discussion about those ideas would continue here to prevent the same clutter I just mentioned.
    You aren't the only one with that idea as before you joined have i proposed this idea but its good that a second one has the same though needless to say i approve and would support this idea .
    Your verified Chikara-production Studios !
    When you wake a Dragon in his Lair...





  2. #4582
    Quote Originally Posted by RoydGolden View Post
    Khalid: Some interesting ideas here but he's kind of absurdly wanked. I get he's a famous general but a Skill that makes him untouchable to those without divinity (this is basically a stronger version of Achilles' Andreias Amarantos, only it's a Skill rather than an NP) and another star-ranked one (basically no one should have a star-ranked Skill unless they're using Moon Cell cheat-codes) that lets him pierce any defense is way too overpowered. His NPs are actually fine, and strangely much less wanked than his Skills.

    I'd weaken the rank-down effect of Mubarizen and either scrap outright or severely nerf the last two Skills (for instance, Undefeated Unbreakable Sword could just be a boost to Luck and saving throws since his "undefeatibility" in legend was more through God's favor rather than being superhumanly tough, and Slightest Glitters Of The Absolute God could just be like Natural Body and keep his Strength from ranking down by any means). Pillar Of Glory can stay but probably doesn't need to be EX-rank for those effects, since it's a fairly typical "intimidating presence" Skill and not anything so special. Also the FC and image-link aren't showing up correctly.
    I see, thanks for the feedback.

    In my defense, i'm trying to make him more powerful than Solomon because the concepts behind him was and undefeated Noble Phantasm of God. The Noble Phantasm of the big G must be strong no? Luckily he's great person who have amazing feats in his life, so its not hard to wank make him strong than any obscure character.

    Mubarizun: i see at first i'm also think the rank-down effect is too high, but Mubarizun was not his exclusive skill, there are numerous Servant with this Skill (among them Khaula, Zirrar, Abu Ubaidah and other Khalid close friends) and the rank also varies for each person, so i think untill i made the other Mubarizun i'd let the skill untouched for now.

    The Slightest Glitters of Absolute God:

    As Solomon was weak without his Ten Riings. This was Khalid's main skill and the skill with a deep connection with the concepts behind him (undefeated NP of God) without this ability he will lost about half of his power namely;

    The Undefeated Unbreakable Sword: without the authority and the Absolute properties he gain from TSGoAG he will lost his invulnerability (the reason for his invulnerability against human was because the anectdote in his deathbed where he regrets that he cannot die on the battlefield in which his friends told him that no man can break the Sword of God, hence i think you need atleast anti-purge effect namely Divinity in order to have the qualificafion to kill him and this is why this Skill is deeply related in his concepts as the Sword of God), healing and the effects of reducing the opponent's attacks. In other words The Undefeated Unbreakable Sword will be reduced to Battle Continuation.

    Independent Manifestation: as he can only manifest by the will of God hence he carried TSGoAG ability, if its gone this Independent Manifestation will also likely gone thus weakening his second NP. As he does not exist in the Throne of Heroes he possess a Special Saint Graph different from normal, Grand and even Beast Saint Graph, it could be said the Saint Graph was unique for him created by God, so losing this ability would possibly makes him summonable in the Throne of Heroes and reduces his Saint Graph to that of normal Servants.

    NP: without TSGoAG the Maeraka Alsuyuf will lost its authority inside of each Swords and the last two NP will either lost or replaced with much more weaker NP.

    Pillar of Glory : this one is easy, the reason why the rank is EX is because of the Glory he brought makes him a threat to his own nation itself as not even the Chief Goddess of Arabia can shake the Pillar, the very reason why he was dismissed from the army so naturally the rank of this skill is very high even though its just simply intimidation ability, i'd say this ability is enough to make gods and Gilgamesh sees him as a big threat.

    Uh thats weird the Image link works fine for me, do you have idea how to fix it?
    Last edited by Bunhelier; July 5th, 2021 at 07:13 PM.

  3. #4583
    Ominous Shadowy Spoiler Figure Cursed by Fortuna's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2020
    Location
    Sometime, Someplace
    Age
    26
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    260
    Blog Entries
    30
    Quote Originally Posted by DelRey View Post
    I Just a quick Idea I had, what would u folks think about a small thread dedicated only to Servant Ideas. Concepts you discarded or dont have the motivation or creativity to bring to life. To keep it compact I would say each creator has one post they can update over time.
    I remember how many posted their ideas here in this thread, but as soon as a new page starts these posts rot in the shadows with no way to really inspire others who have skipped it or werent looking for inspiration at that time.
    Discussion about those ideas would continue here to prevent the same clutter I just mentioned.
    Sure I'd be cool with that, I think I mentioned I've got a bunch of these lying around that maybe someone could put to use.


    Quote Originally Posted by Bunhelier View Post

    Uh thats weird the Image link works fine for me, do you have idea how to fix it?
    Well Good to know I'm not the only one that happens to, personally I would recommend you go and make yourself a Pinterest or Imagur account (of you don't have one already) and post the image with the link there, then link to that. Sometimes I run into that problem with some of my stuff or with certain links, but I have yet to encounter this problem with Pinterest so that should probably fix it.
    The Nasuverse: Everything you know about history is wrong, people don't die when they are killed, The Archer class is not filled with Archers, and King Arthur is a Girl.

    Behold, The Halls of the Lost Souls lies before you

    1st Grail War Idea


    Servant Template and Servant Ideas for anyone's use if they wish

    Favorite Servants I've Read (in no particular order [updates over time])

  4. #4584
    祖 Ancestor Kabalisto Koga's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2018
    Location
    The H/eart/h of Europe
    Age
    25
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    1,678
    Blog Entries
    4
    Quote Originally Posted by Cursed by Fortuna View Post
    Sure I'd be cool with that, I think I mentioned I've got a bunch of these lying around that maybe someone could put to use.




    Well Good to know I'm not the only one that happens to, personally I would recommend you go and make yourself a Pinterest or Imagur account (of you don't have one already) and post the image with the link there, then link to that. Sometimes I run into that problem with some of my stuff or with certain links, but I have yet to encounter this problem with Pinterest so that should probably fix it.
    To be honest there would are after i saw your idea blog be curious About them . and i know you dont participate in the Servant contest but i have started a Magus contest and please take a look and try it .
    Your verified Chikara-production Studios !
    When you wake a Dragon in his Lair...





  5. #4585
    Ominous Shadowy Spoiler Figure Cursed by Fortuna's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2020
    Location
    Sometime, Someplace
    Age
    26
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    260
    Blog Entries
    30
    Idol: The class of the Icon or the class of the desired, representing “icons of worship” those who were “placed on a pedestal” and enshrouded with a mythos and reverence bordering on if not crossing into obsession. It is a class which “shouldn’t normally exist” yet was made such by an unknown being for unknown reasons, however as a class it is one which holds great power reflecting an underlying characteristic of humanity, one so deeply rooted it can be said to be held collectively within their unconscious minds. This class comprises figures of worship and obsession, typically surpassing the likes of the fame and worship of normal heroic spirits, and also includes figures and legends whose existence was either uncertain or built upon lies.


    Class Skills:

    Counter-Hero (Legend): One of the class skills of the idol class, this skill is one denotes the promise of an idol’s existence that which is endowed with a sort of perfection, artificial or real, as to deliver what the masses desire. As a result, an idol is one which fulfills the desires of the masses, thus rendering the need for or the existence of other legends superfluous, consequently weakening the parameters and noble phantasms of other heroic spirits before the presence of an idol.

    Idol of Obsession: One of the class skills of the idol class, it is a skill which the nature of an idol and the process in which an idol is created, mankind’s fixation and desire for a hero or a figure endowing them with a sort of innate charisma and divinity (able to evolve into a full divine core) resulting from their worship and also be summoned forth into existence even without a summoning ritual as to “answer the wishes whispered into mankind’s heart”. This however also leads to a growing obsession with the figure itself eventually to the point where it overshadows the sense of self held by others and eventually evolves into an obsession so great that even the desire to live is secondary to their obsession over this figure, an idol who has become the very center of their world.

    Shadow of the Grail: One of the Class skills of the idol class, it is a skill considered the embodiment of the ability of the grail, or any other number of wish granting devises around the world, to grant the desires of the masses, idols like holy girls are that which are called forth or created simply to fulfill the desires of the masses. As a result, an idol is identical to that of a wish granting device, or if compared to a god then the authority of an idol is that of answering the desires of the masses by granting their wishes. However a darkness exists in this ability in that humanity is defined by a desire to have their wishes granted, a desire to have more. Yet in the granting of these desires, the countless desires held by humanity, this characteristic is lost and alongside the fixation over these idols humanity is said to “mutate” humans into an existence which, while greatly similar to humanity, differs from them at a conscious and unconscious level. If left unchecked could “replace” humanity as the dominant species of the world and thus effectively replace the very existence of Alaya with a collective unconsciousness formed of themselves thus ending the age of men and also by the nature of this new species the very existence of other heroic spirits except for idols to be able to be summoned or exist on Earth (not to mention prevent any other new heroic spirits from forming).


    Pros: Unavailable, Cannot be normally summoned, Always seemingly hostile to Chaldeas and Pan-Human History; Highly powerful boasting capabilities rivaling the likes of powerful nonstandard classes like Alter-Ego, grows or matures into existences surpassing even the strongest normal heroic spirits and rivaling divine spirits with continued interaction, has functionality similar to the holy grail allowing it to
    answer the desires
    grant the wishes
    of the masses, has highly powerful noble phantasms which grow in strength as they mature, able to be described as “
    gods
    deities
    of human origin”.


    Cons: Unavailable, Cannot be normally summoned; Leads to the creation of singularity / Lostbelt like areas within the world disconnected with human history which threaten the greater whole, presents a tangibly dangerous and seemingly hostile presence towards Pan-Human history and the world, functions similar to a holy grail or other wish granting devises when fully developed and matured granting the desires and whims of the populous seemingly at the cost of also creating an obsession around them as well as a mutation within those in their area from humans to “a human-like, but inhuman existence” which if uncontained or not dealt with could spread outwardly overwhelming the world and effectively mutating or replacing the collective unconscious of humanity with a collective consciousness formed of these “new existences”.


    Examples of qualified servants: Marie Annointette, Charlemagne and his Paladins, King Arthur and their knights, Sherlock Holmes, Heracles, George Washington, Miyamoto Musashi, Minamoto no Yoshitsune, varying “king in the mountain” type figures, Savers, etc.


    ----------------------------------------

    So this is an idea I just came up with this afternoon, I have been drafting information about a potential FGO story of my own (with a bunch of changes and stuff such as possibly integrating a CYOA style to it and also elements of Chaldeas maybe having to scavenge for things like food, water, other stuff they may need, catalysts for servant summoning, the summoning system itself being a bit different in how it works [summoning not just heroic spirits, but things like noble phantasms, mystic codes, and objects related to heroic spirits]) but I never knew what to do with Arc 1.5 and 2 (particularly as even going by the canon order of things or if I mages to squeeze in 1 more beat of humanity, that would only be 4 of 7 down). I did consider just cutting them out and ending with Arc 1, but that didn't fit well with only 3 or 4 out of 7 beasts defeated and still left some elements of a story left to be told.

    Although I like some stuff about the Lostbelts I didn't think they would fit with the story I wanted to tell (particularly as I considered or am considering changing some stuff which would have ripple effects on the lost belts) and I also don't fully like everything about them enough to maybe write about them. As such I came up with this idea, drawing off of a bunch of Persona 3, 4, and 5 influences with a definitive and new Beast 7, one which could draw from some of the ideas I do like from the lost belts and some of the more creative ones like heroic spirits struggling to exist in certain lostbelts, but exclude some that I'm not as much of a fan of and which would cap off the story also dealing with the a sort of meta commentary on the nature of phantoms and heroics spirits, what they really mean and are to humanity, and so on. I do still have Beast 7 (who minor spoilers is behind the existence of the idol class) to make, but I'm interested in what you guys have to think on it.
    The Nasuverse: Everything you know about history is wrong, people don't die when they are killed, The Archer class is not filled with Archers, and King Arthur is a Girl.

    Behold, The Halls of the Lost Souls lies before you

    1st Grail War Idea


    Servant Template and Servant Ideas for anyone's use if they wish

    Favorite Servants I've Read (in no particular order [updates over time])

  6. #4586
    Wyrd oft nereð unfǽgne eorl, þonne his ellen déah... Skull's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2014
    Location
    Kernow
    Posts
    6,315
    Blog Entries
    6
    ^ Huh, that gives me an idea for a similar fan made Class.
    "Here's a bangin lil' tune about takin' on The Man!"

    (Check out my Super Special Awesome Servant Compendium here)

  7. #4587
    Foreigner Sheetematic Universe! DelRey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2020
    Location
    Lost in Ambition
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    765
    Blog Entries
    5
    My thoughts while reading were
    1) idol sounds like a corrupted Saver Class or a special kind of our beloved Lover Class
    2) steno and euryale came to my mind when reading about holy girls. Werent their existences kinda similar?
    3) i would not say Alter-Ego class is powerful, but those we know of are, notably the high servants of the alien god.

    I think especially the link to saver is apparent in the use of counter hero and charisma as class skill. It is not bad. When viewed as a game they could basically function as evil aligned savers and can be summoned as such in fgo. Gonna be interesting which stigma ur B7 has, as it would kinda need to align with what the stigma of the big bad of the lb story is

    Instigator of the Legendary Jack-Off

    Being extra and off-canon when doing Canon Extra Classes

    Behold!
    My Stuff!
    And my
    other stuff!
    (includes an Extra Class Compendium, a small Formatting Guide and Mythological Reconstructions)



  8. #4588
    Lost in Paradise RoydGolden's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Location
    Jujutsu Tech
    Age
    53
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    11,593
    Blog Entries
    1
    Quote Originally Posted by Bunhelier View Post
    I see, thanks for the feedback.

    In my defense, i'm trying to make him more powerful than Solomon because the concepts behind him was and undefeated Noble Phantasm of God. The Noble Phantasm of the big G must be strong no? Luckily he's great person who have amazing feats in his life, so its not hard to wank make him strong than any obscure character.

    Mubarizun: i see at first i'm also think the rank-down effect is too high, but Mubarizun was not his exclusive skill, there are numerous Servant with this Skill (among them Khaula, Zirrar, Abu Ubaidah and other Khalid close friends) and the rank also varies for each person, so i think untill i made the other Mubarizun i'd let the skill untouched for now.

    The Slightest Glitters of Absolute God:

    As Solomon was weak without his Ten Riings. This was Khalid's main skill and the skill with a deep connection with the concepts behind him (undefeated NP of God) without this ability he will lost about half of his power namely;

    The Undefeated Unbreakable Sword: without the authority and the Absolute properties he gain from TSGoAG he will lost his invulnerability (the reason for his invulnerability against human was because the anectdote in his deathbed where he regrets that he cannot die on the battlefield in which his friends told him that no man can break the Sword of God, hence i think you need atleast anti-purge effect namely Divinity in order to have the qualificafion to kill him and this is why this Skill is deeply related in his concepts as the Sword of God), healing and the effects of reducing the opponent's attacks. In other words The Undefeated Unbreakable Sword will be reduced to Battle Continuation.

    Independent Manifestation: as he can only manifest by the will of God hence he carried TSGoAG ability, if its gone this Independent Manifestation will also likely gone thus weakening his second NP. As he does not exist in the Throne of Heroes he possess a Special Saint Graph different from normal, Grand and even Beast Saint Graph, it could be said the Saint Graph was unique for him created by God, so losing this ability would possibly makes him summonable in the Throne of Heroes and reduces his Saint Graph to that of normal Servants.

    NP: without TSGoAG the Maeraka Alsuyuf will lost its authority inside of each Swords and the last two NP will either lost or replaced with much more weaker NP.

    Pillar of Glory : this one is easy, the reason why the rank is EX is because of the Glory he brought makes him a threat to his own nation itself as not even the Chief Goddess of Arabia can shake the Pillar, the very reason why he was dismissed from the army so naturally the rank of this skill is very high even though its just simply intimidation ability, i'd say this ability is enough to make gods and Gilgamesh sees him as a big threat.

    Uh thats weird the Image link works fine for me, do you have idea how to fix it?
    Enkidu had a similar concept as "living Noble Phantasm of (the) God(s)" and while certainly top-tier wasn't nearly this OP. So I still think you're going a bit far here. I'm not impressed by you're saying that he needs the last Skill to make his whole kit work, since you're the one who set it up that way. You could easily remake the sheet so he doesn't need that hax to function, and frankly the Independent Manifestation and not being on the Throne stuff also seems like needless wank IMO.

    I think the invulnerability is an exaggeration of his legend where it sounds more like he couldn't be killed since he was so skilled/favored by God rather than superhumanly tough. Unless there's actually anecdotes of him taking mortal blows unscathed some kind of Luck boost while in battle would make more sense to encapsulate his assurance of victory. In any case having basically Achilles' invincibility NP in Skill form only without one of its critical weaknesses seems way too much.

  9. #4589
    Ominous Shadowy Spoiler Figure Cursed by Fortuna's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2020
    Location
    Sometime, Someplace
    Age
    26
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    260
    Blog Entries
    30
    Quote Originally Posted by Skull View Post
    ^ Huh, that gives me an idea for a similar fan made Class.
    By all means go ahead, I'm just throwing around ideas here.


    Quote Originally Posted by DelRey View Post
    My thoughts while reading were
    1) idol sounds like a corrupted Saver Class or a special kind of our beloved Lover Class
    2) steno and euryale came to my mind when reading about holy girls. Werent their existences kinda similar?
    3) i would not say Alter-Ego class is powerful, but those we know of are, notably the high servants of the alien god.

    I think especially the link to saver is apparent in the use of counter hero and charisma as class skill. It is not bad. When viewed as a game they could basically function as evil aligned savers and can be summoned as such in fgo. Gonna be interesting which stigma ur B7 has, as it would kinda need to align with what the stigma of the big bad of the lb story is
    I will say that Idols and Savers are very closely linked in that they are a byproduct of the same process the same process in which Savers are acknowledged as such. In essence you actually aren't far from the truth in them being evil gained savers, in the eyes of the Idols they are saving the world in a sense. As for what characteristic beast the 7th comprises that would be "selfishness" especially in the sense of humanity being able to do something, yet forcing someone else to do it for them*.

    * Or at the very least that's my current idea, as I said a lot of this is very off the cuff so it may change in development.
    Last edited by Cursed by Fortuna; July 5th, 2021 at 10:35 PM.
    The Nasuverse: Everything you know about history is wrong, people don't die when they are killed, The Archer class is not filled with Archers, and King Arthur is a Girl.

    Behold, The Halls of the Lost Souls lies before you

    1st Grail War Idea


    Servant Template and Servant Ideas for anyone's use if they wish

    Favorite Servants I've Read (in no particular order [updates over time])

  10. #4590
    祖 Ancestor AAM1232's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2015
    Age
    23
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    1,707
    JP Friend Code
    525,113,064
    Quote Originally Posted by Bunhelier View Post
    SNIP
    Quote Originally Posted by RoydGolden View Post
    SNIP
    Yeah, Royd's right in that you've thrown in far too much high stats and powerful abilities for Khalid to work. I'd question why a Saber needs Independent Manifestation or an army summon NP supported by it, let alone 3 EX Rank Personal Skills and a * Rank Skill that gives 10 Authorities. There are more tasteful ways of doing a Servant that's basically a hand of god/s than this. Solomon himself isn't super powerful in that manner either in canon, so that feels like a weak justification for this. There's a great Esfandiyar sheet elsewhere that does a far better job if you want an idea of how people tackle these types of characters.

  11. #4591
    Quote Originally Posted by AAM1232 View Post
    Yeah, Royd's right in that you've thrown in far too much high stats and powerful abilities for Khalid to work. I'd question why a Saber needs Independent Manifestation or an army summon NP supported by it, let alone 3 EX Rank Personal Skills and a * Rank Skill that gives 10 Authorities. There are more tasteful ways of doing a Servant that's basically a hand of god/s than this. Solomon himself isn't super powerful in that manner either in canon, so that feels like a weak justification for this. There's a great Esfandiyar sheet elsewhere that does a far better job if you want an idea of how people tackle these types of characters.
    Well, Khalid is just that much a Figure, this might be biased but even without his connection to God he was still a top class Servant, with his connection to God he can be wanked easily as you see him now.

    So far, him being Undefeated in his lifetime and killing a Chief God to completely annihilate an entire phanteon (albeit Divine Spirits) already put him among the top class Servant, with his connection to the big G as His Noble Phantasm i think him being overpowered is not something too strecth.

    The only thing made Solomon powerful is because the blessing of the big G no? Like his Clairvoyance and Ten Rings to controls 72 Demon God.

    That being said i admit that i might wank him too much because i think the big G is that much of deal. This is my first time creating a OC in here so is there any feedback aside from him being too overpowered for reference on my future Servant? And is the image work? I used Imgur and it doesnt work for me though i don't know if it works for others.
    Last edited by Bunhelier; July 5th, 2021 at 10:32 PM.

  12. #4592
    Lost in Paradise RoydGolden's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Location
    Jujutsu Tech
    Age
    53
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    11,593
    Blog Entries
    1
    Quote Originally Posted by Bunhelier View Post
    Well, Khalid is just that much a Figure, this might be biased but even without his connection to God he was still a top class Servant, with his connection to God he can be wanked easily as you see him now.

    So far, him being Undefeated in his lifetime and killing a Chief God to completely annihilate an entire phanteon (albeit Divine Spirits) already put him among the top class Servant, with his connection to the big G as His Noble Phantasm i think him being overpowered is not something too strecth.

    The only thing made Solomon powerful is because the blessing of the big G no? Like his Clairvoyance and Ten Rings to controls 72 Demon God.

    That being said i admit that i might wank him too much because i think the big G is that much of deal. This is my first time creating a OC in here so is there any feedback aside from him being too overpowered for reference on my future Servant? And is the image work? I used Imgur and it doesnt work for me though i don't know if it works for others.
    I think you might be forgetting Servants are almost always weaker than they were in life (with some exceptions for weaker or more modern ones who can be empowered conceptually). No matter how special or amazing Khalid was in life or legend what you've made is just way too much for a Servant. Heck even the Grands aren't at that level I don't think. For the feat you mentioned, Scathach killed a whole bunch of Divine Spirits and is literally immortal yet she's not nearly that strong as a Servant. Hyping this guy up based on his iconic feats is one thing, but compared to canon characters who have similar concepts he's still absurdly wanked.

  13. #4593
    祖 Ancestor AAM1232's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2015
    Age
    23
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    1,707
    JP Friend Code
    525,113,064
    Quote Originally Posted by Bunhelier View Post
    Well, Khalid is just that much a Figure, this might be biased but even without his connection to God he was still a top class Servant, with his connection to God he can be wanked easily as you see him now.

    So far, him being Undefeated in his lifetime and killing a Chief God to completely annihilate an entire phanteon (albeit Divine Spirits) already put him among the top class Servant, with his connection to the big G as His Noble Phantasm i think him being overpowered is not something too strecth.

    The only thing made Solomon powerful is because the blessing of the big G no? Like his Clairvoyance and Ten Rings to controls 72 Demon God.

    That being said i admit that i might wank him too much because i think the big G is that much of deal. This is my first time creating a OC in here so is there any feedback aside from him being too overpowered for reference on my future Servant? And is the image work? I used Imgur and it doesnt work for me though i don't know if it works for others.
    I think you need a rewrite that isn't so blatantly overpowered, from his story to his abilities. I shouldn't be wondering if Gil is weak compared to Khalid, let alone most fan sheets. Also, I would suggest asking someone more proficient in English to help you out with some proofreading/editing to improve your writing. Wank in general should be appropriate per Servant, not in excess, since that just ruins any speculation on how they might be used in a story (one of my personal criteria is seeing if the sheet is interesting enough to have them in a Fate story).

    Image was working before, but not anymore (on the page here). The Twitter link also needs fixing.
    Last edited by AAM1232; July 5th, 2021 at 10:55 PM.

  14. #4594
    I feel like reading through some other sheets on here might help give a sense of scale? Seeing how other people structure sheets and Skills and the feedback they get from others might help inform how wanked you make future sheets.

  15. #4595
    Heaven's Outcast Lambda-Nu's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2018
    Location
    Somewhere in this vast multiverse
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    637
    Blog Entries
    3
    Also, I just realized something; Foreigners all have mysterious deaths.

    Nobody knows who killed Tupac.

    Foreigner Tupac when?
    Loser of the Legendary Jack-Off


    Loading... Loading... Loading... Loading... Complete.

    Servant Database (v2.0)


    CHALDEA SECURITY ORGANIZATION: AUTHORIZED PERSONNEL ONLY
    Singularity / Lostbelt Database


    For those of you who'd like to see how far I'm getting on constructing new Servant sheets
    Upcoming Servant Sheets



  16. #4596
    Your average edge/angst supplier BnEl15's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2019
    Age
    21
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    450
    Blog Entries
    3
    Quote Originally Posted by Lambda-Nu View Post
    Also, I just realized something; Foreigners all have mysterious deaths.

    Nobody knows who killed Tupac.

    Foreigner Tupac when?
    Foreigner-class Tupac vs. Watcher-class cursed gun that manifests all of his suspected killers and turns its wielder into a drive-by shooter
    Feel free to look at my Servant sheets here

    A list of my ongoing and upcoming sheets here. Earn a sense of pride and accomplishment by guessing their identities before I put them out!

    Who or what will Chaldea summon next using the Master's credit card Quartz reserves!?

    List of free-to-use Skills here

  17. #4597
    Foreigner Sheetematic Universe! DelRey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2020
    Location
    Lost in Ambition
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    765
    Blog Entries
    5
    When it comes to current memes someone should get on to make Foreigner Jeffrey Epstein and Foreigner Saddam Hussein

    Instigator of the Legendary Jack-Off

    Being extra and off-canon when doing Canon Extra Classes

    Behold!
    My Stuff!
    And my
    other stuff!
    (includes an Extra Class Compendium, a small Formatting Guide and Mythological Reconstructions)



  18. #4598
    Quote Originally Posted by The Fair Tyrant View Post
    I feel like reading through some other sheets on here might help give a sense of scale? Seeing how other people structure sheets and Skills and the feedback they get from others might help inform how wanked you make future sheets.

    Actually i did, well its not like you can compare a Musician to a Warrior, so i read through any OP and wanked Servant thats been created here, like Lucifer, Apophis or any major figure, and the feedback never mainly focused on Power Scaling.

    I thought that as long as the feats and justification are enough (its not like you can make a random musician more powerful than Solomon) you can create an Overpowered Servants.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by AAM1232 View Post
    I think you need a rewrite that isn't so blatantly overpowered, from his story to his abilities. I shouldn't be wondering if Gil is weak compared to Khalid, let alone most fan sheets. Also, I would suggest asking someone more proficient in English to help you out with some proofreading/editing to improve your writing. Wank in general should be appropriate per Servant, not in excess, since that just ruins any speculation on how they might be used in a story (one of my personal criteria is seeing if the sheet is interesting enough to have them in a Fate story).

    Image was working before, but not anymore (on the page here). The Twitter link also needs fixing.
    I was actually like overpowered character but i will do my best to make it somewhat not too over the top.

    I'm new here so i don't know anyone here, i think i will just use this as exercise to improve my English.

    Is the image work now? I decide to remove the Twitter link since the source only available on Twitter and i don't think the link would work.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by RoydGolden View Post
    I think you might be forgetting Servants are almost always weaker than they were in life (with some exceptions for weaker or more modern ones who can be empowered conceptually). No matter how special or amazing Khalid was in life or legend what you've made is just way too much for a Servant. Heck even the Grands aren't at that level I don't think. For the feat you mentioned, Scathach killed a whole bunch of Divine Spirits and is literally immortal yet she's not nearly that strong as a Servant. Hyping this guy up based on his iconic feats is one thing, but compared to canon characters who have similar concepts he's still absurdly wanked.
    Well, thats why i made him to have Special Saint graph through Independent Manifestation though, and it's not like you can compare someone who's killed random divine spirits to someone who killed chief god and wiped out entire phanteon.

    Thats being said i did wank him on purpose because of his deep connection to Abrahamic God not because he is a great general or Hero (i did say the concept behind him was Undefeated NP of God no?) and as i just said before i thought that Abrahamic God was a big deal seeing that Solomon and King Hassan the major figure who's connected to him are OP Grand Servants so i thought that this God NP must be hella strong no? Well its not like you can compare Enkidu to Vasavi Shakti or Agni Gandiva to Pashupata.

  19. #4599
    祖 Ancestor Kabalisto Koga's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2018
    Location
    The H/eart/h of Europe
    Age
    25
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    1,678
    Blog Entries
    4
    Quote Originally Posted by DelRey View Post
    When it comes to current memes someone should get on to make Foreigner Jeffrey Epstein and Foreigner Saddam Hussein
    Your verified Chikara-production Studios !
    When you wake a Dragon in his Lair...





  20. #4600
    夜属 Nightkin NittyGritty's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2020
    Posts
    148
    Blog Entries
    2
    Lancer Harvey Weinstein is in my google doc right now

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •