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Thread: Create-A-Servant 3

  1. #11301
    祖 Ancestor Dreamerless's Avatar
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    I find that sheet hilarious.

    Btw, guys, any advice on Manfred?
    My compendium is here: https://blogs.nrvnqsr.com/blog.php/14424

    My fanfiction Fate/Roundabout is here: https://forums.nrvnqsr.com/showthrea...ate-Roundabout

  2. #11302
    Holy shit that was fast. I didn't expect that velocity. Thanks bro

  3. #11303
    Grand Recorder DelRey's Avatar
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    Max I: a delightful read. Witty humor throughout and the use of commenting is done well without it being overbearing as a gimmick. A great 1* Saber in FGO (of course meaning that he is a first rate Servant). The footnotes further cements I image I have of you that you actually study your characters extensively and basically write an exam in Servant-form. This is a good thing. Although, there could have been other ways to implement those tidbits of information. perhaps through some standalone quotes in the relationship section.
    "Let's see the color of your coin, my friend."



    Behold my vault of Heroes.
    Where the Heavens and the Abyss breath the Music of Humanity.


    The King's duty is to provide. And provide, I shall.
    University of Formatting | Gallery of Potential | Memorandum of the Extra Class Kings

    Our Kingdom will grow. And we shall know each citizen.
    Create-a-Servant 4 soon.

  4. #11304
    祖 Ancestor NMR-3's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DelRey View Post
    Max I: a delightful read. Witty humor throughout and the use of commenting is done well without it being overbearing as a gimmick. A great 1* Saber in FGO (of course meaning that he is a first rate Servant). The footnotes further cements I image I have of you that you actually study your characters extensively and basically write an exam in Servant-form. This is a good thing. Although, there could have been other ways to implement those tidbits of information. perhaps through some standalone quotes in the relationship section.
    I'm just gonna outright reveal what many must already suspect: sometimes I write a Servant sheet just to have a footnotes section in which I can show off.
    The Adventure of the Velvet Room (Sherlock Holmes/Persona) (SB, FFN, AO3)

    Blog with all of my Servants so far.

  5. #11305
    死徒(下級)Lesser Dead Apostle Castellan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by NMR-3 View Post
    I'm just gonna outright reveal what many must already suspect: sometimes I write a Servant sheet just to have a footnotes section in which I can show off.
    Mood.

  6. #11306
    ...I know no cure for evil. DracoScribe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by WhiteFrenzy View Post
    Sigyn & Vali: OKAY I'M A BIT LATE BUT... LISTEN... I love, love LOVELOVE them? So much?? The unhinged energy behind this sheet is so valid, you go my child feast on their corpse ravage their lands. They deserve it. Like, I wish I could find the words but you know when you feel winded when you take a punch? I kinda feel like that. But it's in a good way I swear!
    Awww, I'm glad to hear that! I was hoping their unhinged anger got across despite how they are 90% of the time (that is sulking sacks trying to smile for each other) as well as the angst...so I think I get what you mean and it's just what I hoped for.

    Quote Originally Posted by WhiteFrenzy View Post
    It's so... It's such a wild idea to conflagrate Vali with Vali Odinson, but at the same time when you stop to think about it you go "but of course this would happen" and it doesn't diminish the value of the reveal, of their struggles, of the deep hate that such a thing would brought... If anything, it enhances it. And as always, Sygin is perfect. Step aside Loki (Vali too), Imma marry her now.
    Whew, I'm happy to hear the idea enhanced their hate against Odin, considering really it was an excuse to acknowledge that it is very like Vali, son of Loki, doesn't exist...but I wanted him to exist anyway so I'm like "oh yeah that's because history forgot vali and thought there's only vali odinson".
    also lol im glad you love sigyn so much tho loki and vali will stop you

    Anyways, since I'm here...

    Huang Yueying: Hey! I remember her from the Guess A Servant thread! Well, mostly because of the FC, which you've since changed, but that was for the better it seems. I wouldn't know 'cause I read the whole thing after you changed it...but I digress! The wife of Chaldea's most used famer first tactician...or at least it would be, if not for his predicament as a Psuedo-Servant. Sorry Waver, but as much as I pity your health, I am exactly the type of person who'd try to get spouses reunited with their spouses (-cough-likeusinhmyfuturefreefivestartickettogetxiangyuand reunitehimwithyumeiren-cough-) and this wife happens to be a blast. I just absolutely gobbled this sheet. I think the skills were really cool ("espionage but from disgust instead of hiding in plain sight", "Expert of Many Specializations but equal to my husbando tactician" and "wood-punk...ok that sounded better in my head but I think you get what I mean, they all cool), the NP was really creative ("ha ha! I'm the better fighter!" "UNO reverse fan"), and, well, I just enjoyed reading the lore (cuz i am a romantic so duh), her personality and her relationships (totally not biased about it nooooo). A wild girl I can relate to, to be sure, and a worthy new punch mage to add to the list. And the Bond CE was just a cherry on top. I'm glad she's finally here!
    Also since Del and White mentioned your word count...
    Well I'm one to have a preference for longer sheets simply because I get more of the Servant, but really I only want more because what I'm getting is already so good that if I got less I'd go "awww it's over already? noooo!". Unless, well, the sheet is written so tightly and concisely that I'm stilk satisfied despite the length...but you get the idea. The prose and presentation are enough for me to not care about the length and just enjoy the ride.

    also reminder for me to actually see ya boy kongming at some point...

    Also also:
    Nongyu and Xiaoshi
    "Of course you have our blessings! But, ugh...this sucks..."
    "What exactly is not ideal, darling?"
    "I mean, of course I wanna wish her well, and in fact I wanna help her! I know I'd do everything I can to find you again. But like...I also don't wanna bother the guy she's talking about y'know...? He's stressed enough as is."
    "I'm sure we can find a way to still assist her without harming him. Chaldea has achieved many miracles, after all."
    "Yeah, you're right! Wait... Oh! I know! I got just the idea! Maybe I can use my Holy Grail wish to make a vessel for her husband! And then we can put something or someone else to replace him so that Master can keep the farmer assistant."
    "Darling, no, please...that might cause another Singularity...!"

    Sigyn
    "Ahaha...thank you for your kindness. Your words mean much to me. Perhaps I can assist you in your endeavors? I know a few ways to...cause a 'fright', if you so wish. I learned my tricks from the best, aftet all. Ahaha."
    Author of:
    Persona 5: Refraction (SV link; FF.net link)
    "You didn't have to fight for me, you know." "And you didn't have to curl your hair so we'll look even more alike." Ren stared before he softly chuckled, Akira joining him not long after. With one simple decision as a child, Ren Amamiya goes to Tokyo alongside his little sister, Akira. (P5R Sibling AU) (Ren/Ann, Akechi/Fem!Akira)
    Chapter 55 on: April 24, 2024 (GMT +8:00)
    Velvet Throne
    My list of my Servants! Still small for now.

  7. #11307
    Your average angst/edge supplier BnEl15's Avatar
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    Thanks WF and Draco! Love the lines, btw.

    I agree that word count is one of my most prevalent issues. I've yet to find that right balance between presentation (explaining character, lore, etc.) and word count. I think my longest sheets are Orfeo and Sima Qian, and while I actively try not to make anything that long anymore, I'm still not sure how long is too long. In my opinion, Lully managed to hit that balance, so... somewhere between 6-8k should do? That still depends on a bunch of other factors, tho. I know I probably shouldn't get too technical thinking about this, but I am familiar with the feeling of reading a sheet and losing interest midway due to how bloated and exposition-heavy it is, so I'm hoping to avoid falling into that same trap.

  8. #11308
    Wyrd oft nereð unfǽgne eorl, þonne his ellen déah... Skull's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BnEl15 View Post
    I agree that word count is one of my most prevalent issues. I've yet to find that right balance between presentation (explaining character, lore, etc.) and word count.
    I sometimes wonder about this myself. It's why I had an experimental phase where I tried to write sheets without using the Lore section as a crutch since that tends to account for at least half of the sheet.

    But nowadays I've learned to stop worrying and love the bomb length.
    "Here's a bangin lil' tune about takin' on The Man!"

    (Check out my Super Special Awesome Servant Compendium here)

  9. #11309
    Grand Recorder DelRey's Avatar
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    I mean there are still more than enough people that already love your long and meaty sheets.
    Its impressive how we devour a sheet of such girth and appreciate it over such a long time. You won over many with it.
    but sometimes the massive size hurts. Smaller ones can satisfy us too. Its all about technique.
    But I often had it that I had enough of reading and see it was just the tip and the main body is still coming for me. Especially if it feels dry and I dont feel like too much at once.
    Morg gets me.

    Why am I like this?
    "Let's see the color of your coin, my friend."



    Behold my vault of Heroes.
    Where the Heavens and the Abyss breath the Music of Humanity.


    The King's duty is to provide. And provide, I shall.
    University of Formatting | Gallery of Potential | Memorandum of the Extra Class Kings

    Our Kingdom will grow. And we shall know each citizen.
    Create-a-Servant 4 soon.

  10. #11310
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors
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    Source: Dynasty Warriors

    Class: Archer
    Other Classes: Berserker
    True Name: Gan Ning
    Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
    Place of Origin: China (2nd Century)
    Stars: 3/5

    Parameters:

    STR: B
    END: D
    AGI: C
    MGI: D
    LCK: B
    NP: B

    Height: 194cm
    Weight: 110lbs
    Likes: Death, people with strength, being valued, those who follow his orders
    Dislikes: Thanatophobia, money
    Talent: Serving as a general
    Natural Enemy: Lu Bu
    Attribute: Man
    Traits: Humanoid, Male, Weak to Enuma Elish
    Armament: A crossbow
    Catalyst: A strand of silk soaked with wine and wrapped around a bell

    Class Skills:

    Magic Resistance C: He faced down the occasional bit of magic. However, it was never very powerful, so he gains a low rank in this skill that only cancels chants that are less than two line..

    Independent Action C: One who was willing to switch his goals and commanders depending on how much he was valued naturally gains a rank in this skill suitable for remaining in this world for one day.

    Personal Skills:

    Youxia's Guerilla Tactics A: The sublimation of his skill with guerilla tactics, which he used as a youxia and brought to his job as general. This manifests in the capability to weaken an enemy before combat, destroying parts of defences and weakening their strength. In addition, after targeting an enemy like this he gains a rank up to Luck and Presence Concealment at rank C for a few turns.

    Slicing The Silken Rope A: The sublimation of his younger days as a Youxia, when he was famous for his murderous and plundering ways, and the heavy amounts of extravagance that he held during those days. When this skill is utilized, a bell-like sound announces his presence. However, after that sound, he gains a temporary rank up to Strength and Golden Rule at rank C for a few turns.

    Aura of Terror (Shallows) C: The sublimation of the incident in which Guan Yu, being informed of Archer's heading in his direction, became too terrified to continue his advance and camped in the shallows. This manifests in the form of an aura whenever he is heading towards a target which leads to fear, as well as an unwillingness to move.

    Noble Phantasm(s):

    Xingba
    The General That Breaks and Charges

    Type: Anti-Barrier
    Rank: B
    Range: 20 meters
    Max Targets: 1 target

    The sublimation of his title as the "general who breaks and charges". When the true name is called, his next crossbow bolt is surrounded by the aura of a charging buffalo. As it rams into its target, it shatters the barriers in its way, opening up weak points on the target that Archer is able to hone into.

    Lore: Gan Ning, courtesy name Xingba (170-220) was a general under Sun Quan. In his early life, he plundered the areas around him and became known for his plundering ways. Then he went to work under Huang Zu, who he felt didn't properly value him and so he left to work under Sun Quan.

    Personality: A brutal and intense warrior. He views every battle as something to enjoy, and has a willingness to die for a glorious battle, although he believes that is unlikely to happen. He will work with his Master as long as he feels properly valued, but if he doesn't, he will attempt to switch to someone else. His wish for the Grail is to reincarnate.

    Relationships:

    Lu Bu: "Brutality is useful, but it must be controlled to maintain the loyalty of those who aid you."

    Li Si: "How dare you melt down weapons? All weapons are needed!"

    Duke of Alba: "All out offense is truly useful, isn't it."

    Nebuchanezzar II: "You value a garden more then a spear? Strange."

    Carman: "An endless battle? Sounds intriguing."

  11. #11311
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Gan Ning: Is there a reason his first Skill isn't Subversive Activities? It feels a bit overly specific to him. Fine sheet otherwise.

  12. #11312
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors
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    Quote Originally Posted by RoydGolden View Post
    Gan Ning: Is there a reason his first Skill isn't Subversive Activities? It feels a bit overly specific to him. Fine sheet otherwise.
    It isn't subversive activities because that skill is described as denoting a "Master of Traps", something which Gan Ning was most definitely not. Thanks for the positive comment!

  13. #11313
    後継者 Successor DrStein's Avatar
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    So, uh, I'm trying to post a sheet, and I keep getting a character-limit error.

    Is that normal, or is my computer glitching out?

    This is definitely shorter than the leviathan of Lostbelt King Enlil.

  14. #11314
    Grand Recorder DelRey's Avatar
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    do you import it from google docs?
    perhaps the formatting is translated so absurdly, that the character limit is breached
    "Let's see the color of your coin, my friend."



    Behold my vault of Heroes.
    Where the Heavens and the Abyss breath the Music of Humanity.


    The King's duty is to provide. And provide, I shall.
    University of Formatting | Gallery of Potential | Memorandum of the Extra Class Kings

    Our Kingdom will grow. And we shall know each citizen.
    Create-a-Servant 4 soon.

  15. #11315
    後継者 Successor DrStein's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DelRey View Post
    do you import it from google docs?
    perhaps the formatting is translated so absurdly, that the character limit is breached

    I copy-and-pasted from there, but I reformatted most of it.

    Maybe the indents are screwy?

    I'll try to doing it manually.


    Edit: Maybe I'm putting the pictures in wrong? I think I just pasted it on the last attempt.

    Also: Does anyone know how to put gifs in a post?

    - - - Updated - - -

    Yeah, definitely the pics.
    Last edited by DrStein; March 30th, 2023 at 05:21 PM.

  16. #11316
    邪魔 Spanner Random's Avatar
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    Are the images being hosted externally? Because if you just try to paste them in, lmao

    Fate\last call
    night, dawn, and the birth of stars

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    next arc: Spring 2024

  17. #11317
    後継者 Successor DrStein's Avatar
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    IT'S FINALLY DONE!!!!!!

    Remember how I said I’d do Wyvern’s Secret Santa from last year?

    NEVER SAID I COULD STICK TO A SCHEDULE!


    Lancer


    Theme/Art Source

    “Hell yeah! Time to see some blood! I’m gonna make this into the greatest party you’ve ever seen, sister!”

    True Name: Huītzilōpōchtli
    Alias: The Turquoise Lord, The Star-Hunter, The Fifth Sun, The Butcher of Gods
    Alignment: Neutral Good
    Alternate Classes: Archer, Caster, Berserker, Ruler, Shielder
    Height: 6’0’’
    Weight: 179 lbs
    Place of Origin: Mt. Coatepec, Hidalgo, Mexico (Aztec Mythology)
    [First Recorded: Early 1200’s A.D. {Early Post-Classic Period/Aztec Empire}]
    Age: Unknown (Physically 21 Years Old)
    Catalyst: A Ritual Dagger Found in the Templo Mayor Complex
    Strength- A+
    Endurance- A++
    Agility- A+
    Mana- A
    Luck- A
    NP- EX
    Equipment: A Divine Serpent


    Lore

    Lancer's True Name is
    Huitzilopochtli, the Aztec god of the sun, war, sacrifice, and bloodshed. He is the fourth Tezcatlipoca, Blue Tezcatlipoca, as well as the god known as the Fifth Sun. He hunts the moon and stars across the sky in order to protect humanity, and serves as the patron god of the Mexica people. He is also the founder-god and patron of the city of Tenochtitlan.
    Huitzilopochtli is the son of the fierce earth goddess, Coatlicue. Unlike most of the other gods of Mesoamerica, who were born from extraterrestrial matter, Huitzilopochtli was born on Earth, on the mountain Coatepec. Coatlicue, having born over four-hundred divine children by this time, was intrigued by the weak humans proliferating throughout the lands she ruled over. Seeking a greater understanding of them, she selected the greatest of their warriors, a man clad in a helm of bright blue feathers, and mated with him. This is where the tale of Coatlicue being impregnated by a ball of feathers originated, as the image of a ball of feathers came to signify the spirits of fallen warriors.
    In any case, Coatlicue became pregnant, the child in her womb formed from both the divine microorganisms comprising her true body and the flesh of man. Her children, foremost among them her daughter Coyolxauhqui, were horrified that their mother would deign to mate with the lower lifeforms native to the planet. Coyolxauhqui led her four-hundred brothers, the Centzonuitznaua, down upon the mountain in order to kill their mother and prevent the birth of this cursed hybrid god. However, before Coyolxauhqui could strike the finishing blow, Huitzilopochtli burst forth from his mother’s body, fully grown and equipped with divine arms. Utilizing the divine flame serpent, Xiuhcoatl, as a spear, Huitzilopochtli cut off Coyolxauhqui’s head and launched it into the sky. There, it is said to have become the moon itself. He then tore apart the rest of Coyolxauhqui’s body and hurled it down the mountain, before chasing after his terrified older brothers and scattering them across the sky.
    For this incredible feat, Huitzilopochtli was acknowledged as the fourth Tezcatlipoca, known as Blue Tezcatlipoca. At this point in time, the goddess of water Chalchiuhtlicue had just renounced her duties as the Fourth Sun, and the position remained empty due to various obstacles. The great god Quetzalcoatl, seeing Huitzilopochtli’s potential, declared that his “younger brother” should be made the Fifth Sun, so that he may carry out his duties in pursuing Coyolxauhqui and the Centzonuiznaua across the sky while also preserving the lives of humanity. Huitzilopochtli, fond of humans due to his origins, happily agreed.
    As the centuries passed, Huitzilopochtli came to feel particular affection for one group of humans, known as the Aztecs, for they lived in the land of Aztlan. Aztlan was a harsh land, and it was ruled by cruel warlords. Huitzilopochtli sent a messenger to the Aztecs, in the form of a hummingbird. He declared to them to renounce the name Aztec, declare themselves the Mexica, and to head south in search of a new land. Huitzilopochtli led the Mexica southward, and even assigned the goddess he called his younger sister, Malinalxochitl, as their protector along the way. Malinalxochitl did not take her duties seriously, and abandoned the Mexica to die to all kinds of dangers of their journey. The people prayed to Huitzilopochtli to aid them, and so he ordered Malinalxochitl to leave her task so that he could do the job himself. Embarrassed and angry, Malinalxochitl created the monstrous warrior Copil, and sent him to kill the Mexica in retaliation for their blasphemous behavior. Huitzilopochtli himself descended to battle Copil, and tore him to pieces with Xiuhcoatl.
    Once Copil had been slain, Huitzilopochtli tore his heart from his chest, and hurled it off into the distance. He then told the Mexica to travel onward until they found a giant lake, later known as Texcoco. Once there, they were to build a new city in the place where Copil’s heart fell. Once the Mexica arrived at the lake, many years later, they found a great eagle devouring a serpent on an island within the lake. Declaring this their promised land, the Mexica built the city of Tenochtitlan. Within this great capital city was built the great temple of Hueyi Teocalli, later known as the Templo Mayor. At this temple, great human sacrifices were made to Huitzilopochtli, in order to give him the strength he needed in order to pursue the Centzonuitznaua day after day in order to preserve the World. In this way, the Mexica and Huitzilopochtli lived together in harmony, ensuring the survival of humanity.

    Likes
    : Bloodshed, War, Partying, Mothers, Brave Warriors, Drinking Games, Parades
    Dislikes: Cowards, Pacifists, Hemophobes, Restrictive Laws and Rules, “Non-Violent” Sports
    Talent: Tracking, Snake-Handling, Butchering, Beer Pong


    Personality:

    Huitzilopochtli is loud, boisterous, and friendly by nature. He loves people, warfare, and partying, and loves even more to share those things with others. He truly loves humanity, and is overjoyed to be able to devote his existence to fighting for their survival. On the battlefield however, he is a merciless engine of destruction. He will rip apart anything that crosses his path, seeming to enjoy killing his enemies as brutally and painfully as possible. In spite of his love for humans, he delights in sacrificing them, treating bloodletting and human sacrifice as the “ultimate party favor”.
    This seeming contradiction stems from his unique worldview as a god born from a union of a goddess and a human man. Huitzilopochtli views bloodshed and sacrifice as a natural part of the cycle of life, and a necessary process in the protection of humanity from existential threats like his brothers and sisters among the gods who hate humanity. Rather than view violence as evil or barbaric, Huitzilopochtli considers bloodshed as the ultimate expression of life, and so delights in it. He considers warriors and mothers who would shed their own blood to defend and create life as not just the greatest of humans, but the greatest of all lifeforms in the World, and so giants them the greatest divine honors possible. Blood is life, violence is joy, and sacrifice is salvation.
    Due to his…unique upbringing, he tends to view relationships with both humans and gods in terms of sibling dynamics. Those who are greater and wiser than him are respected older brothers and sisters, and those who are weaker or less experienced are beloved younger siblings. Due to his particular worldview, he considers both acts of support and acts of violence to be displays of love, and so he tends to get along well with basically everyone. This is the reason for his many “siblings” among the Mesoamerican gods, and his continued insistence that he loves all of them dearly, despite countless legends of them mercilessly killing each other.Due to both his admiration of human mothers and his love for his own mother Coatlique, Huitzilopochtli has a massive soft spot for mothers and mother figures. As he is straightforward, honest, and…relatively honorable, he dislikes traitors and cowards, but admires crafty trickster-types like his older brother Tezcatlipoca. He is especially close to him and his other older brother (sister) Quetzalcoatl, as they were the ones who jointly proposed for him to be made the Fifth Sun. In an (extremely) rare show of agreement, the two came together in admiration for Huitzilopochtli’s world view and spirit, and so declared him the best choice to become the new solar deity. Huitzilopochtli greatly admires and respects them.
    Huitzilopochtli has no wish or desire for the Holy Grail. He allows himself to be summoned to defend humanity, and enjoys any chance to live among them and enjoy human culture.


    Class Skills:

    Magic Resistance: A

    Grants protection against magical effects. Differing from a resistance effect that merely rejects magical energy, this ability cancels the spells altogether. At this rank, Cancel spells of A-Rank or below, no matter what High-Thaumaturgy it is. As a solar deity and war god who slays other gods, Huitzilopochtli is obviously accustomed to facing down powerful magic.


    Personal Skills:

    Divine Core of the Fifth Sun: EX

    A skill expressing one’s rank as a true Divine Spirit. An evolved form of Divinity. Can be used as a measure of the strength and conceptual weight of one’s divine Authority and presence. Provides immunity from all mental interference from non-divine sources, and can grant resistances, advantages, or disadvantages against certain abilities or Noble Phantasms. As the Fifth Sun of the Anahuac Texture, and the patron god of Tenochtitlan, Huitzilopochtli obviously possesses this Skill at extremely high rank.


    Eternal Arms Mastery of the War God - Butcher of Gods: EX


    A specialized form of Eternal Arms Mastery possessed by all divinities acknowledged as gods of war. In addition to all of the standard abilities possessed by the normal skill as EX rank, additional abilities are obtained based on the martial feats of the particular god. In this case, Huitzilopochtli’s most famous martial feats are the butchering of his sister Coyolxauhqui and the divine warrior Copil, and his continuous hunt of his brothers, the star gods known as the Centzonuitznaua. All of Huitzilopochtli’s attacks are imbued with a powerful Anti-Divine effect, allowing him to tear apart even other gods with ease. A fitting skill for the god best known as a slayer of other gods.


    Mana Burst (Sun): EX

    The ability to increase one’s performance by infusing one's body and weapons with magical energy and expelling it. In this case, as Huitzilopochtli’s body has become one with the sun itself, his Mana Burst possesses the Sun attribute. His attacks burn with the heat of the sun's flames, and he is capable of channeling these flames through any weapon he wields in explosive bursts. In addition, Huitzilopochtli is said to shine with a light so bright that even the greatest warriors would be blinded by looking at him directly. Whenever Huitzilopochtli utilizes this skill, blinding light will explode out of his body to sear the eyes and flesh of anything around him.


    Familiar (Hummingbirds): A+

    The ability to create and control familiars of various kinds. This ability comes in many forms. Huitzilopochtli is said to have been followed by swarms of hummingbirds. These hummingbirds were born from the souls of warriors who died valiantly in battle, as well as all women who died in childbirth. These hummingbirds served Huitzilopochtli as messengers, attendants, and soldiers. Huitzilopochtli generally uses them as long-distance scouts and messengers, as their small size, high flight-speed, and aerial maneuverability makes them well suited to the task. They are also capable of aiding him in battle, their bodies acting as darts to slash and impale Huitzilopochtli’s enemies. If they have room to build up enough speed, their impact can equal that of low-rank Noble Phantasms.


    Divine Defender of the State: A+


    A skill which allows one to mark a certain territory as their domain. Allows for the securing of leylines, and the protection and control of a certain territory. Raises combat ability for one’s self, and allows for the deployment of certain skills and Noble Phantasms. Additionally, the user gains the ability to track hostile presences within their territory. As the patron god and founder of the legendary city of Tenochtitlan, Huitzilopochtli possesses this skill at an extremely high rank. He is capable of generating a territory over five miles in diameter. He prefers to base the center of his territory in a city, though he is also fond of jungles or mountainous terrain. Through this domain, Huitzilopochtli is able to activate the effects of his second Noble Phantasm.
    In addition to the other effects, Huitzilopochtli is capable of using his domain to create a magical territory on the level of a Temple. Huitzilopochtli lacks the knowledge to create a Temple himself, but should his Master or another ally possess such knowledge, a Temple not at all inferior to the Templo Mayor can be constructed through this skill, even if the creator themself lacks the ability to do so. Both the mana and even the materials required will be spontaneously drawn from the lands within the domain at Huitzilopochtli’s insistence. This Temple will then further increase the power and effectiveness of Huitzilopochtli’s second Noble Phantasm.…Even in such a reduced state, the powers of a chief god cannot be undersold.


    Noble Phantasms:


    Xiuhcoatl- Fifth Sun - Strike Down the Stars: (Rank A++, Anti-Unit/Anti-Fortress)

    The tonal spirit form of Xiuhtecuhtli, the god of fire, volcanos, and the day. In this form, the winged serpent of flames, he serves as the weapon and symbol of his twin brother, Huitzilopochtli. He serves as Huitzilopochtli’s god-slaying spear in their endless hunt across the sky. He is a dual-formed weapon, serving as both a spear and an atlatl. Xiuhcoatl was the weapon which Huitzilopochtli used to dismember both his sister, the moon goddess Coyolxauhqui, and the monstrous warrior Copil. In this form, Xiuhcoatl serves as a representation of the sun’s rays piercing through the darkness which threatens humanity.
    Xiuhcoatl possesses two “forms” as a Noble Phantasm; Xiuhcoatl Quitzatzayana - Rend the Moon Asunder and Xiuhcoatl Tonalmitl - Fangs of Light, Pierce the Darkness. Xiuhcoatl Quitzatzayana is a technique deployed by Xiuhcoatl in the form of a spear, while Xiuhcoatl Tonalmitl is performed when he is used as an atlatl. Xiuhcoatl Quitzatzayana’s effect is drawn from his legend as a spear which dismembers gods. Its effect is fair simple; whenever the spear comes into contact with flesh, said flesh will warp and be pulled apart until it is completely torn apart. It is a weapon of bloodshed which tears apart its targets without mercy. Even a simple flesh wound will skin whatever part of the body it lands on, and any direct strike to a target's body will rupture and completely destroy entire organs. It is the most fitting armament for the god of slaughter and bloodshed.
    Xiuhcoatl Tonalmitl’s effect, meanwhile, represents Huitzilopochtli’s status as the fifth god of the sun. By taking the form of an atlatl, a spear-thrower, Xiuhcoatl can hurl beams of radiant sunlight from his mouth. As the technique used to shoot down the divine Centzonuiznaua, these beams possess unimaginable destructive power, burning with heat equal to the surface of the sun. Their power far surpasses that of a nuclear warhead, and the totality of their destructive power remains condensed within the “thrown spear” until the target has been pierced. Finally, as these are the projectiles utilized to shoot down the stars across the night sky, the spears possess a tracking function, following their chosen targets through the sky until they make contact, burning through all obstacles with their unendurable heat. As Xiuhcoatl was the weapon used to strike down the moon itself, this tracking effect has a range of 238, 900 miles.
    Xiuhcoatl serves as Huitzilopochtli’s primary Noble Phantasm in both the Lancer and Archer classes, due to its dual purpose nature.




    Panquetzaliztli- An Offering to the Hummingbird Lord: (Rank EX, Anti-Army)

    Huitzilopochtli’s second Noble Phantasm. It is the manifestation of his Authority as the god of bloodshed and sacrifice. It draws its name from the month-long religious festival dedicated to Huitzilopochtli’s rebirth and continued journey across the sky in order to protect humanity from his bloodthirsty siblings embodied by the moon and stars. During this festival, thousands of slaves and war prisoners were brought forth to the Templo Mayor and ritually sacrificed. By doing so, the Aztecs hoped to share the strength of their lifeblood with Huitzilopochtli, and aid him in his eternal struggle.
    In exchange for an invaluable sacrifice of human life, Huitzilopochtli grants eternal protection to his beloved people. Though the letting of blood, Huitzilopochtli gains strength. In more specific terms, whenever blood is split within the bounds of his established territory, all of Huitzilopochtli’s attributes will increase. It doesn’t matter if the “sacrifice” of blood is intentional or not, nor whether the one shedding blood desires for Huitzilopochtli to gain strength from it. Any occurrence of blood leaving a human body will qualify as a sacrifice to the protector god. The effectiveness of the sacrifice will increase in proportion to the amount of blood shed, both in terms of individual bloodlettings and the overall number of sacrifices. Considering the sheer size of Huitzilopochtli’s territory, a truly immense amount of blood can be collected, even without any direct bloodlettings or human sacrifices. This effect also applies to blood shed during combat, even by Huitzilopochtli himself. Every battle Huitzilopochtli fights within his territory will only empower him further.
    As powerful as this Noble Phantasm is, it’s true, ultimate power comes not from humanity’s sacrifices for Huitzilopochtli, but Huitzilopochtli’s sacrifices for humanity. Taking inspiration from his “older brother” Xipe Totec’s famous act of self-sacrifice, Huitzilopochtli has created an ultimate last resort technique, a method to defend humanity to the end no matter the cost. By enduring or inflicting wounds to his own body, and performing the ritual sacrifice of the god of sacrifice, Huitzilopochtli can generate truly absurd quantities of magical energy, converting his own body into a magical reactor core. By enduring countless fatal injuries through sheer force of will, Huitzilopochtli can transform himself into the physical embodiment of the sun, and display power worthy of a chief god.
    Between the strain of using such power, and the scale of injuries required to reach this level of power, the use of this technique will certainly result in Huitzilopochtli’s agonizing death. It is a trump card among trump cards; a final stand to defend humanity in the face of certain annihilation.


    Tactics: As a major god, Huitzilopochtli is so powerful that he could never be summoned in a normal Holy Grail War. In order to manifest himself, Huitzilopochtli will find a suitable living vessel and possess them, in a manner akin to his brethren’s usual process. As he was born a hybrid of human and god, his existence is somewhat different from them, and so he cannot manifest in any of his “proper” classes while using the Saint Graph of one of his previous hosts. He must possess a suitable living form.
    In circumstances where he has been summoned…Huitzilopochtli possesses a level of raw strength where elaborate tactics are basically meaningless. It is best to allow him to just charge forward and massacre every enemy that appears before him. Even when facing world-ending threats, Huitzilopochtli will simply charge forward with a smile on his face, and put his body and soul on the line to ensure humanity’s survival.


    Relationships/Reactions:

    Quetzalcoatl
    His beloved older sister. She is the one who proposed for him to take up her legacy as the Fifth Sun, as well as educate him on the ways of both humanity and the gods. He loves and respects her more than almost anyone. Huitzilopochtli doesn’t really understand her aversion to human sacrifice, but he understands that sometimes siblings disagree on important things like that.

    Tezcatlipoca
    His beloved older brother. The other god who supported his ascension as the Fifth Sun. Even though they operate in very different ways, Huitzilopochtli greatly admires his brother’s cunning and genius, and finds his antics hilarious. Due to his unique world view, Huitzilopochtli sees no issue with the way his older siblings are constantly trying to kill each other, and considers it an expression of their brotherly love.

    Hernan Cortez
    Huitzilopochtli does not particularly begrudge Cortez for destroying his people, but he also sees no reason not to tear him apart on sight for it. Such is the fickleness of a god.

    Tenochtitlan
    Huitzilopochtli doesn’t really understand how a city could come to life, but he thinks it’s awesome. He wants to come off as an “elegant and well-traveled older brother to his younger sister, who still lives at home.

    Lostbelt King - Kukulkan
    Huitzilopochtli doesn’t really understand how…any of this works, but he’s never been the type to turn down a new family member. He has resolved himself to be a “cool and reliable older brother” to his newest baby sister.

    Quetzalcoatl
    “Sis, there you are! I gotta say, this lucha thing is pretty damn cool, but where’s the blood?”

    Tezcatlipoca
    “Hahahahaha! You have the best stories, Brother! I can’t believe I missed all of that. I’ve always wanted a shot at that creepy-ass spider. And I’d love to meet that weirdo partner of yours.”

    EMIYA
    “That man has spilled an incredible amount of blood in defense of humanity. I wonder why he’s so depressed all the time?”

    Carmilla
    “To waste precious lifeblood on such a foolish endeavor…she is both a monster and a coward. Her blood is unworthy of sacrifice, but I’ll be sure not to waste it once I’m done.”

    Okita Souji
    “If you’re looking for a good place to die, my temple is pretty nice. We can have a proper festival, with your death as the climax before the feast!”


    Master Preferences: Huitzilopochtli is aggressive, energetic, and bloodthirsty. Despite this, he is generally good-natured, and gets along with most people. He prefers those that are straightforward and ambitious, but also respects intelligence and guile. He enjoys violence among the strong, and disapproves of harming the weak. He tends to be impatient, so he gets along best with those who take the initiative.
    Huitzilopochtli has no preferences between genders. He considers the peak of human bravery and achievement to be found among warriors and mothers, and so finds his most fervent believers from both sexes. He respects his brothers and sisters equally.


    Bond Level 1:
    “Greetings human! The Lord of the Left has arrived! It is time for bloodshed and sacrifice! Now, let’s get this party started!”

    Bond Level 2:
    “Sister! These drinks are delicious! Alcohol has come so far in the last few hundred years! Now, let’s try out some of these ‘party games’!”

    Bond Level 3:
    “Time to fight! Time to fight! Let’s spill some blood! For humanity!”

    Bond Level 4
    “You want to hack up your enemies, that’s good. That’s right. That’s how humans are supposed to be. But if you don’t step away from that child right now, your head will join my sister’s only after I’ve carved the flesh from your bones.”

    Bond Level 5:
    “...I will gladly accept this sacrifice of blood. I shall take on this nourishment for humanity’s sake, and push back against its inevitable doom.Dearest little sister. With this, we shall fight together, to the very end.”



    Bond CE

    Bleeding Heart





    -- Y’know, I don’t actually like to see humans suffer.

    …Well, I do, but it’s not because I’m some kind of sadist or something.To see blood is to see life. To struggle is to live. To fight is to live well. I think humans are at their absolute coolest when they’re shedding blood to protect their families and their dreams. And I like to think I’m the same, I guess.

    If I have to shed every drop of blood in my body to buy humanity even a second more time…really, I can’t think of anything better than that.

    -------------------------------------------------------------

    Creator’s Notes: Behold, Quetz and Tezca’s little brother.
    I found LB 7’s cast…kinda shit, honestly, which prompted this guy. I’m pretty proud of his personality and themes. I think he’d be an interesting player to use in an actual story.
    I tried to make him busted without being too OP. I think I succeeded at that.

    Last edited by DrStein; March 30th, 2023 at 06:32 PM.

  18. #11318
    夜属 Nightkin Salt Pillar's Avatar
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    !!!!! LETS GO!!! BASED BLUE TEZCALIPOCA!!
    Quote Originally Posted by Random View Post
    For a moment I had a flash of inspiration about a NP that mixes and matches the attributes of its targets... Unfortunately, Barbara Walker is alive...

  19. #11319
    後継者 Successor DrStein's Avatar
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    Allright. I'm calling that presentation good enough. A visual artist, I am not.

  20. #11320
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors
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    Source: RejectedPrincesses

    Class: Caster
    Other Classes: Assassin
    True Name: Wungala
    Alignment: Neutral Good
    Place of Origin: Dreamtime
    Stars: 4/5

    Parameters:

    STR: C
    END: C
    AGI: C
    MGI: A
    LCK: C
    NP: A

    Height: 150cm
    Weight: 110lbs
    Likes: Family, peace
    Dislikes: Destruction
    Talent: Facing down the wulgaru
    Natural Enemy: Wulgaru
    Attribute: Earth
    Traits: Humanoid, Female, Weak to Enuma Elish
    Armament: A long, stretchy piece of bread dough
    Catalyst: Bread dough, coated in the essence of the Wulgaru

    Class Skills:

    Item Destruction D: Her magic is focused on the idea of "unwinding", weakening magical blows and facing down threats. This manifests in the form of this skill, allowing her to destroy created items and territories with her magic.

    Wulgaru-Proof Barrier B: An aura of her unwound magic that constantly encircles her, breaking down magic that enters the field.

    Personal Skills:

    Bravery of the Trickster B: The sublimation of the technique she used to trich the Wulgaru during their first battle, beginning by pretending to not notice it, until the exact right time came around for her to make her move and blind it. This manifests in the form of a skill, making her to seem to be totally oblivious to any nearby enemies' presence until she begins attacking. In addition, she gains heavy resistance to mental effects, especially fear.

    Unwound Magic C: The style of magic she evolved as her signature. A style revolving around "unwinding" other magical creations, a tool she used against the Wulgaru more than once. However, she can also cast standard spells that are "unwound", altering their effects randomly by changing parts of the spell.

    Blinding Bakery B: In her very first encounter with the Wulgaru, she merely blinded it by means of placing bread dough on its eyes to make time for her and her child to escape. This manifests in the form of a skill, allowing her to send extremely bright lights through the bread dough that she holds to blind those around.

    Noble Phantasm(s):

    Wulgaru
    The Endless Battle


    Source: D&D

    Type: Summon
    Rank: A
    Range: N/A
    Max Targets: N/A

    The sublimation of her connection to the Wulgaru, a monstrous golem-like entity which she constantly clashed with. Upon her summoning, the Wulgaru will be summoned alongside her. The two will fight each other whenever they get a chance, but will work together against any enemies that they may face. The Wulgaru is a Berserker-class entity with Madness Enhancement D, Entity of Magic B, Fear Impulse B, and Darkness Entity C.
    It holds B ranked Strength and Endurance, D ranked Agility and Mana, and C ranked Luck.

    Lore: Wungala's tale begins with her and her son heading out to collect seeds to bake bread. However, the son accidentally awoke the Wulgaru, who roared loudly. Wungala said it was the call of a white cockatoo. Then it loomed overhead, and she claimed that it was just the shadow of bushes. This continued, her calmly baking bread while claiming that the Wulgaru didn't exist, until it lost its temper and rushed her, following which she immediately used the hot bread dough she had prepared for this to blind the Wulgaru, becoming the only person known to escape it. Her story doesn't end here, however, as after this, the Wulgaru became fixated with finally defeating her, constantly attacking her. As this continued onward, the two began to somewhat understand each other.

    Personality: Wungala is a generous and supportive person. She is very caring to all those around her, wishing to serve as a mother figure to them like she was unable to properly fulfil with her own son. Wulgaru is a more brutal individual, although he no longer attacks random people due to his constant feud with Wungala. Their wish for the holy grail would likely involve reincarnation.

    Relationships:

    Tsunade and Tagoto: "Well, at least you two got along well."

    Reynard and Isengrim: "An endless battle, huh? Sounds familiar."

    Bernabo and Galeazzo Visconti: "Brutality is not permitted here."

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