"I have come in response to your summons. I am Ching Shih, admiral of the Red Flag Fleet. Shall we begin?"
True Name: Ching Shih Epithets: The Terror of the South China Sea, The Pirate Queen, The Whore Admiral Class: Rider Alternate Classes: Saber, Archer, Assassin, Berserker Alignment: Chaotic Evil Attribute: Man Origin: Historical Fact — China (19th Century) Likes: Order, Planning, Those who follow orders, Young boys Dislikes: Disruptive behavior, Disobedience, Government interference Talent: Organization Natural Enemy: Blackbeard Armament: Pair of liuyedao, pair of matchlock pistols Traits: Female, Humanoid, Riding, Servant, Weak to Enuma Elish Catalyst: The hilt of an old sword that belonged to her
Parameters:
STR: C END: C AGI: C MGI: D LUK: A NP: A+
Personality
Ching Shih tries to put on a persona of a patient, quiet, and ruthless woman that knows exactly how to take what she wants and has a business woman-like approach in her dealings with people. She is a very calculating individual who isn't above using dirty tricks, sabotage, and seduction to get what she wants. Unlike most pirates she has a strong dislike for unruliness and pointless chaos and will not tolerate rule breakers (especially if she was the one who set the rule in the first place), as such she tends to come off as incredibly strict, violently so if need be.
In her downtime, she can show an attitude more typical of a pirate. Her well developed serious and orderly persona will give way so long as she is not in combat or a tactical situation, allowing her to express a rather carefree attitude and drinks heavily. Ching can be genuinely warm and gentle to those she truly cares about, and she is also rather flirtatious towards both men and women, and enjoys sleeping around. Ching Shih also has a thing for young boys but doesn’t openly admit it.
Lore
Ching Shih was a pirate leader who terrorized the China Seas during the Jiaqing Emperor period of the Qing dynasty in the early 19th-century. She commanded over 1,800 vessels manned by around 80,000 pirates. She entered into conflict with the major nations, such as the British Empire, the Portuguese Empire, and the Qing dynasty. Under her rule, Chinese pirates became invincible, resisting attacks from every major naval power of her time.
Little is known about the early life of Ching Shih except that she was born in the Guangdong province of China under the name “Shih Yang” and that she worked as a prostitute in a floating brothel in Guangzhou, going by the name “Shih Heang Koo”. She was the favored prostitute of the pirate Zheng Yi who commanded the fleet of ships known as the Red Flag Fleet. Zheng Yi fell in love with Ching Shih and organized a raid to plunder the brothel and asked his men to bring her back to him as his portion of the loot and proposed to her. She accepted on the condition that she would have power in his organization and receive an equal share of the loot.
Over the next six years with her help, the Red Flag Fleet went from 200 ships to 1,800 strong, and she and her husband formed the Cantonese Pirate Coalition with the pirate Wu Shi'er. In 1807, Zheng Yi would get caught in a typhoon and die after being married to Ching Shih for six years. Not wanting to return to her life as a prostitute, Ching Shih was quick to seize the opportunity to assume control of the Red Flag Fleet and managed to maneuver herself into a place of power and took control over the entire organization with the help of her adopted son Chang Pao, who she took on as her lover.
She proved to be a strict, regimented leader once she took control, and as the new leader she focused on business and military matters while Chang Pao took on the daily going ons of the ships. Under her rule the Red Flag Fleet flourished and their incredible strength and power enabled them to pillage and raid every town and ship between Macao to Canton. The fleet took over many coastal villages, establishing an ad-hoc government of sorts and sometimes imposed taxes or levies on the villages under their control. Not even landlocked villages were safe, as she would simply use shallow-bottom boats to travel up river and attack them that way, including defeating whatever armies came against them. Stories from that time described her as ruthless — not just to her victims and enemies, but to her crew, as executions were quite common.
The Chinese government tried numerous times to put a stop to the Red Flag Fleet, but each time failed to defeat Ching Shih and her armada. Even when the government sought the aid of the British and Portugese navies they couldn’t break the Red Flag Fleet’s pirate operation within the South China Sea. Eventually the emperor himself offered amnesty to all pirates in the hope that it would put an end to Ching Shih’s reign of terror. Ching Shih was clever enough to know that she couldn’t keep this up forever and began negotiations with Zhang Bai about the fleet’s surrender, and in the end the Red Flag Fleet would be able to keep all of their loot and any of their pirates that wanted to join the Imperial Navy were allowed to do so.
Ching Shih’s pirate came to an end and was given the aristocratic title of “Lady by Imperial Decree” as part of the negotiations. Chang Pao’s status as her adopted son would be annulled by Zhang Bai and he would also marry Ching Shih to Chang Pao. After her retirement from piracy, she would run a successful gambling house and brothel enterprise. She would have children with Chang Pao, and would pass away in 1844 at the age of 69 in her bed, surrounded by her family.
Skills
Class Skills:
Magic Resistance: D
Grants protection against magical effects. Differently from the Resistance effect that merely rejects Magical Energy, this ability cancels the spells altogether. Cancels Single-Action spells. Magic Resistance of the same degree of an amulet that rejects magical energy.
Riding: B
Denoting the ability to ride mounts and vehicles. Most vehicles and animals can be handled with above average skill, even vehicles that did not exist in the time period one was alive in, for they are no exception. However, cannot ride the likes of Phantasmal Species such as Monstrous Beasts. Also, if limited to ships, the Riding Skill will improve by one rank.
Personal Skills:
Gale of Plunder: EX
A Skill that indicates the excellence of pirates. Ching Shih is considered to be the most successful pirate to ever live and at the height of her power she controlled more than 1,800 ships and had the manpower of 80,000 sailors, which was one of the biggest naval armies in the history of the world. She used her massive fleet for robbing and taxing towns and plundering ships throughout the coast of the South China Sea.
Golden Rule: B
A Skill that refers to the measurement of one's fortune to acquire wealth. Ching Shih herself was born destitute, but has a natural talent for collecting money. Even after retiring from piracy she lived as an incredibly wealthy noblewoman with a vast fortune.
Honor of Pirates: C
A unique Skill derived from a pirate's peculiar sense of values. Low ranking Mental Pollution, Bravery, Battle Continuation and others have been combined. Ching Shih receives this from her strict code of law established among the Red Flag Fleet which was heavily enforced.
Voyager of the Storm: A++
Talent that lets one sail objects recognized as ships. Because the ability as a group leader is also necessary, this unique Skill also has the effects of both Charisma and Military Tactics. At her height, Ching Shih commanded one of the largest naval armies in the history of the world.
Noble Phantasms
Red Flag Fleet The Scourge of the South China Sea
Rank: A+ Type: Anti-Army Range: 20 - 200 Maximum Number of Targets: 800
This Noble Phantasm represents Ching Shih's personal armada of pirates consisting of over 1,800 ships and 80,000 men that terrorized the seas of South China, The Red Flag Fleet. The fleet she helped grow from a small group of pirates to an international threat that took on Britain, China, and Portugal. She can summon the infamous pirate fleet, and she can summon any individual ship at will when she needs them. Each ship is a ghost ship in a literal sense of the word, acting autonomously as if they were fully crewed and will perform tasks that the crew would normally do on Ching's orders. While the ships are intended to travel on water, they can also travel on land and sky, but consumption of magical energy becomes heavy in this case. To summon the full force of the fleet she must invoke the True Name of the Noble Phantasm, at which point all ships will materialize around Ching, typically in the air if there is no body of water nearby. Upon her order all ships open fire and the enemy is bombarded by overwhelming firepower. The combined might of the fleet's weaponry is incredibly powerful and would be capable of destroying most anything Ching wants destroyed, causing massive damage to targeted areas.
The Noble Phantasm possesses a secondary ability in which Ching Shih can add additional ships to her armada by commandeering other ships. It is representative of Ching Shih’s efforts in creating, and growing the Red Flag Fleet. Once a ship has been commandeered she can then add it to her armada, but the process takes a serious amount of Magical Energy to convert the ships into being an aspect of her Noble Phantasm. In theory she could commandeer ships that are the Noble Phantasms of other Servants and add them to her armada, but the amount of effort and Magical Energy required to do this would be extreme. If given enough time, Ching Shih could boost the number of ships she possesses to epic proportions, but this will inevitably come at the cost of increasing the rank of her Noble Phantasm and, by extension, the drain on her Magical Energy if she were to ever use the full force of her fleet. Should this occur, the only way Ching Shih might be able to truly manifest the full might of the Red Flag Fleet is through a Master will extraordinary reserves of Mana and possibly tapping into a layline.
Tyrannical Pirate's Code of Laws Pirate Oaths Stained in Blood
Rank: B Type: Anti-Unit Range: 1 - 10 Maximum Number of Targets: 1
Ching Shih’s control over her pirate fleet at that time was absolute, which was possible not only because of her well maintained political maneuvers which enabled her to rule unopposed but also because of her insistence that all pirates under her command respect a very strict pirate code. Those under her command were given a series of draconic tenants, and failure to follow these rules to the letter was punishable by beatings, mutilation, and execution depending on what law was violated. It is this legacy that made Ching Shih feared among her own crew, and has been supplemented into a Noble Phantasm.
This Noble Phantasm manifests itself as a manuscript on Ching Shih’s person. This Noble Phantasm is a curse-like effect, that when activated targets those of the Chaotic alignment. Those targeted will be hit with excruciating pain throughout their entire body and must pass a resistance check or be overwhelmed by it. In addition, all Skills that aren’t tied to the body, such as Divinity, will temporarily be sealed while the target is under the effect of Tyrannical Pirate’s Laws. Since this Noble Phantasm only targets those of the Chaotic alignment, if she were to use it upon someone of the Lawful or Neutral alignment it would simply not work.
Voice Lines
Ascensions:
1st Ascension: "Yes, keep up the good work. Don't slack off, understand?"
3rd Ascension: "I've been looking over maps. I think we could expand our operations."
4th Ascension: "Excellent! Through your tireless work, you have proven quite useful. Shall we discuss your future under me? Fufufu..."
Bonds:
Bond Lv. 1: "We have work to do. So let us set sail."
Bond Lv. 2: "Will we set sail again soon? Not that I don't enjoy the down time that is."
Bond Lv. 3: "Right, down time. Bring me some booze, Master! I'm gonna drink until next time we set sail."
Bond Lv. 4: "We have some down time I see. Care to join me for a drink, Master? Drinking with another is always fun!"
Bond Lv. 5: "Are you as bored as I am? Perhaps you'd like to join me in private for a moment, my dear Master? I think I know a way to ease our boredom."
Other:
Dialogue 1: "There is a need for rules aboard pirate ships. It is my experience that if you let your crew do as they will inevitably cause trouble. Fortunately, beheadings are a good, reliable solution to these issues."
Dialogue 2: "Just because you are my Master doesn't mean you are exempt from following my rules. That would be a costly mistake for you."
Dialogue 3: "I like to consider myself a business woman first and a pirate second. That said, that doesn't mean I won't crush any opposition to my authority with an iron fist."
On the Holy Grail: "The grail is just another piece of treasure to add to my loot. Nothing more."
Something You Like: "I like order aboard my ship. Keeping everyone in line was the key to my success, after all."
Something You Hate: "The government getting in the way of my operations. It is hard to run a criminal empire when you have to deal with whatever armies or navies they send your way..."
Birthday: "It is your birthday? I suppose I could allow you to take some time off. I could take some time off as well to offer you a personal congratulation."
Relationships
Edward "Blackbeard" Teach: "Such a deplorable cretin. The embodiment of everything I despise in a pirate! Disruptive, disorganized, and a hopeless pervert! I'll have your head!"
Bartholomew Roberts: "I do appreciate a man with rules, but your's don't go far enough to ensure order I feel. Have you considered more beheadings?"
Anne Bonney & Mary Read: "You two are welcome to join my crew! Just be mindful of the rules and we will have no trouble."
Francis Drake: "I did battle with the British Navy once. I wonder, how would they have fared had they had someone like you at the helm? No doubt it would have been a worthy fight indeed."
James Moriarty: "Since you run a criminal organization as well, care to discuss a potential partnership?"
King Hassan: "I too find beheadings a great way to deal with disappointing subordinate."
Young Male Servants (Alexander, Fuuma Kotaro, Alstolfo, etc): "Oh... Oh my... Hmm? I-I wasn't staring!"
Creator's Notes
Well here is my sheet for Ching Shih, who is one of my favorite historical figures. I've roleplayed her a couple of times in some RPs on TV Tropes and her sheet was considerably simpler back then, but have since expanded on it and fleshed it out to what it is now. Most notably back then she only had one NP, which even then was not as fleshed out as what I have written here. She is one of my favorite character that I've made and I still use her in some other projects.
Her faceclaim was one I picked as a kind joke on Fate's habit of having Servants in skimpy outfits, and I've honestly kind of grown attached to it. I honestly can' see my version of the character having a different look now. >_>
Now, lemme say this: wow! What an amazing Galatea sheet this one is! Just like Royd said, you've perfectly captured that "weird" atmosphere of what would be to have a constantly evolving perfect doll as a Servant. It felt like something straight outta some Black Mirror episode. Very nice indeed.
yes good, your praise fuels me. thank you!
Originally Posted by RoydGolden
I did notice somewhat of a contradiction between her lore and NP sections though. In the former you state that Pygmalion was unable to act on his desires until the day he died, whereas her NP description says she managed to have children with him, which would presumably necessitate such a thing. Since her having children was noted to be "impossible" I guess maybe she did it in some way other than having sex, but I'm curious if you thought that through. (Her being able to remodel her body also kind of contradicts the "no sexual anatomy" limitation, unless that wasn't an ability she had in life).
I meant to imply she sort of just made the children... exist. The intention is definitely "she's a barbie doll down there". Glad you like it aside from that tho!
Originally Posted by DecieverSupreme
That Galatea sheet hits like a giant metal fist. It really is in-character for the Greek gods to "gift" an unfeeling, obviously inhuman spouse to the forerunner of every guy with an unironic waifu. Props for making me feel deeply uncomfortable.
Unrelated: The way things have been going, I won't be surprised if Galatea shows up as a robot girl with plasma cannons and the like.
Glad I could make you uncomfortable! Mission accomplished!
Robot was how the concept started out, until the Feb contest theme inspired me to start over and retool her.
You did a real good job on the Galatea sheet. Definately not a character I would really expect a sheet be made of, but good job regardless. She has a interesting gimmick and feels unique.
Class: Lancer Alternate Class(es): Various Alignment: Neural Evil Region: Britain – Arthurian Mythos Height: 159 cm Weight: 54 kg Attribute: Earth Traits: Brynhildr's Beloved, Humanoid, Male, Riding, Servant, Weak to Enuma Elish
Parameters:
STR: B END: B AGI: A MGI: C LCK: B NP: B+
Skills
Class Skills:
Magic Resistance: D
grants protection against magical effects. Differing from the Resistance effect that merely rejects Magical Energy, this ability cancels the spells altogether. Cancels Single-Action spells. Magic Resistance of the same degree of an amulet that rejects magical energy.
Despite hijacking the class container, Lancer herself possesses no innate resistance however she has usurped the possession of an amulet ring that rejects magical energy.
Personal Skills:
Eternal Arms Mastery: A-
Prevents degradation of fighting skills when under the effect of mental hindrance. Mastership of combat arts has reached the point of being said to be unrivaled in one's era. By complete merging of mind, body and technique, it is possible to make use of full fighting skills even when under the influence of any sort of mental hindrance.
Lancer herself had no combat experience in life but this is irrelevant. Since this is originally another's own Skill, it is receiving a slight Rank Down.
Crown of Madness: C
A Skill that allows one to raise another's parameters in exchange for robbing them of their reason, granting Mad Enhancement of an equivalent rank to anyone. Rather than talent, it is the crystallisation of her own abusive actions and tactics of manipulation against her “beloved” that drove him to insanity and broke his will. Furthermore, she is capable of controlling individuals she has granted this curse on remotely like automata if their will has been broken enough.
This ability is very helpful when someone tries to take her husband from her. However it appears that she herself is under the effects of Mad Enhancement herself…
Grail Pedigree: B
The proof of a Grail Guardian. Supposedly, the members of the bloodline that was charged with safekeeping the Holy Grail received a strong divine protection from it. Consequentially, an extraordinary good fortune is summoned on a preferential manner when in a critical situation. This skill has overridden the Protection of the Fairies skill she would have otherwise stolen.
Riding: B
A Class Skill of Rider and Saber class Servants, denoting the ability to ride mounts and vehicles. Rider-class Servants will typically possess a high rank. It is said that dragon type mounts are an exception, requiring a different ability other than Riding. Most vehicles and animals can be handled with above average skill, even vehicles that did not exist in the time period one was alive in, for they are no exception. However, cannot ride the likes of Phantasmal Species such as Monstrous Beasts.
In addition to the target of her obsession, Lancer as a fair lady would be expected to have a graceful talent for riding, herself.
Shapeshift: A
A Skill that refers to both borrowing bodies and appearance change. It is a method used by the millenary spirits of foxes and badgers of China that are put on par with Tamamo-no-Mae. It is also one of the powers of a vampire.
Rather than an inborn ability, it is the crystalisation of her stealing the identity of Guinevere on multiple occasions. She can duplicate the appearence, mannerisms and voice of another that would allow her to replace a female target perfectly
Noble Phantasms
Dolorous Stroke
The Phantasmagorical Blow of Suffering
Type: Anti-Unit, Anti-King
Rank: B+
Range: 2~6
Maximum Targets: 1
The most infamous strike in all Arthurian legend. She ignores an "unearthly voice" and strikes the king when deprived of her weapon and thinks her stroke is 'justified'. The single Dolorous Stroke struck down the Fisher king and devastated his entire kingdom, turning it into a wasteland until the king was healed by Galahad. Lancer can replicate this attack with any of his weapons but it synchronises with the fabled Spear of Destiny, the Lance of Loginus. Lancer can replicate this phenomenon and strike her foe with a powerful curse, ruining the flow of prana almost irreparably. Any magus or servant who has received this blow will be critically weakened, leaving them incapable of performing in combat and in constant pain. The landscape will reflect the state of the wounded party and slowly deteriorate and wither over time. The death of Lancer will not stop these effects but they can be healed by a "Truly Virtuous Person".
As one who has forcibly asserted herself into the Lancer class container, daughter of the Fisher King who suffered this blow and the connection she has to the Holy Grail and the tale, she has claimed this Noble Phantasm for herself. Also curiously enough the blow will take effect regardless of where it lands on the opponent but when performing this attack, she will always aim for the groin. It is unknown if this is a conscious decision or not. This is a digression, but should she summon herself as a Saber or Berserker she will possess Arondight instead.
Song of Grail
Sing Out, O’ White Grail
Type: Magecraft
Rank: B
Range: 0~50
Maximum Targets: 20 People
The true Noble Phantasm of Elaine of Corbenic. It is her “love” merged with the possession of a Holy Grail allowing for the temporary granting of "a sincere and pure wish." Rather than being a function of her existence as a wish-granting device, it is instead a rare positive sublimated into a Noble Phantasm. It grants a recovery effect to herself and all those around her position while cancelling out all bad status effects. It also cancels out all kinds of persistent damage people are currently suffering from. It is possible to revive Servants that are in a condition of "unable to battle" as long as a fragment of their spiritual core remains... However due to her selfishness she is only capable of continually pouring these blessings upon herself.
Delusional Obsession
Perfect Knight, Become My Toy
Type: Anti-Unit
Rank: EX
Range: ??
Maximum Targets: 1 Person
A permanently active-type of Noble Phantasm. The current nature of the Servant Lancer. It allowed her to take over the body of the summoned Lancelot & steal his skills, armour and Noble Phantasms. Forced Heroic Spirit Possession phenomenon. This is not the only use of this toxic Noble Phantasm, once she has discerned the True Name of another servant to forcibly possess them, abandoning Lancelot for her new victims armour, skills and Noble Phantasms. Dolorous Stroke will vanish immediately should this happen.
Lancelot was initially horrified with this. He's gotten used to this though.
Lore
Elaine of Corbenic, “The Grail Maiden” of Arthurian Mythos, daughter of King Pelles ‘The Fisher King’, mother of Galahad and princess of Corbenic.
Her father knew the great knight Lancelot would have a son with his daughter who would be the most noble knight in all the world – likely a vision granted to him by the true Holy Grail.
Possessing a timeless beauty that every woman was jealous of, Morgan le Fay traps her inside a boiling bath to punish her for the crime of being more attractive. Naturally as a damsel in distress, she was rescued by Lancelot and was utterly besotted by the Knight of the Lake and was utterly distraught when he rejected her as she discovered he was already in love with queen Guinevere, another man’s wife and would not sleep with another woman. In order to make the knight break his oath and fall for her instead, she consulted a witch by the name Dame Brussen who gave her potent wine and specific articles of clothing that would cause even Lancelot to mistake her for his love. Elaine intoxicated Lancelot and after lying about her identity, claimed the great knight for herself and violated him.
When Lancelot awoke the next morning, he was horrified by the events of what occurred when he realised the woman he had slept with was not Guinevere and immediately reached for Arondight to kill her, Elaine convinced him not to by saying she was now pregnant with his child, carrying a part of her fixation inside of her now. Lancelot departs, leaving Elaine to raise the rape-born bastard Galahad without him.
As years passed, Elaine was still obsessed with Lancelot and invited herself to a great feast at King Arthur’s court to see ‘her’ knight again. After finding Lancelot again, he spent the whole event ignoring Elaine who was heartbroken to see that absence had not made his heart grow fonder of her, the perfect princess and mother of who would be the greatest knight in the world. Worst of all he was still in love with the unworthy Guinevere, who had never made a bold action to show her affection inferior to her own and still was married to another man. Elaine fell to similar tactics, once again using the knowledge of the witch to make herself look like Guinevere once again and had the Dame summon Lancelot to her bedchambers. This time however, Guinevere searched for Lancelot and found him asleep with Elaine. The queen is furious with Lancelot and tells him she never wants to see him again – banishing him from Camelot. This is the final straw for Lancelot’s sanity after multiple traumas who goes mad with grief and, naked, jumps out a window and runs away. Elaine chastises Guinevere and blames Lancelot’s madness soley upon the other woman, with Elaine either unaware or simply not caring for the impact of her own actions upon the knight and telling Guinevere she was the unnecessarily cruel woman.
Time passes once again and Elaine leaves court to find the insane Lancelot in her garden at Corbenic who then takes him to the Holy Grail which her family is the marked protector of, seeing what she had driven Lancelot to and decides she must be the one to save him. After he sees the Grail through a veil Lancelot regains his mental facilities, Elaine marries Lancelot and governs Corbenic in her father’s stead until she dies of natural causes. Lancelot is then found by Sir Percival and Sir Ector who take him back to Camelot.
Character
“Oh, what is this contractor? You were trying to take my handsome knight from me? No, no, no. He belongs to me."
Likes: Lancelot Dislikes: Theft of her possessions, You Talents: Deception Natural Enemy: Quinevere Image Colour: Black
One who possesses the beauty and grace of a princess, but is held by a monstrous black soul. A deranged girl who falls in love and kisses who she wants.
In this instance, she has forcibly summoned herself by hijacking the summoning of Heroic Spirit Lancelot & forcibly melding herself to his Saint Graph.
Vicious and cruel toward her loved ones. Although she was a pure girl in her life before, once she fell in “love”, she reached a state where her spirit became shackled by her origin of Obsession, only released at the end. Her love is servile, dedicated to Lancelot, and overflowing with generosity. However due to her dubious mental state, special care is needed. She is one who is obsessed with Lancelot, is dispositioned to fall for virtuous knights and take them for herself. Although shackled to her deepest base desires, she holds enough sanity to recognise that she is not doing the right thing but yet is so far gone that she cannot stop her compulsions.
As a servant, she has settled to the modern day quite well. With expensive tastes she would live like a celebrity, dressing provocatively and wearing the most expensive clothing. She is of two polar ends, the Queen Bee who will coldly ostracise and sneer down upon and the heart-eyed one who will endlessly pursue her beloved whether they like it or not.
Shout out to MoC & pinetree who made the original skills which I ended up forming an entire sheet around.
Last edited by Bird of Hermes; March 21st, 2020 at 09:28 AM.
We gave HBM, of all people, access to a morals loosening field
Originally Posted by Faux, December 25th 2019
Senta deserves the right to a life where she gets to choose if she's actually a Nazi
True Rider
A wise and beautiful woman who exudes an aura of grace. She is a sly, cunning, manipulative person who always gets what she wants, whether through trickery or ruthlessness. Her own fighting abilities are low, but she should not be trifled with. What does she ride? Men, of course!
Elaine: The justification for her having the Dolorous Stroke really doesn't seem enough. A blood relation to the person who got hit by it shouldn't really grant her anything, regardless of forcibly asserting herself into being a Lancer. By much the same logic, Chiron should have access to Hydra Poison (and would have more of a claim to it, having been a direct sufferer).
Marguerite de Bressieux & Shizuka Gozen: Let me put it this way, these were both the kind of sheets that made me want to look up the original figure. Very good ideas and a very good read.
Galatea: Very creepy & unsettling, I mean this in the best way mind you. This is easily my favourite take on the character.
Ching Shih: All i can 'critique' is that Gale of Plunder makes a few of the other skills feel redundant. 1st NP feels a little 'run off the mill' but that's to be expected. However the second one stands out in particular, it's a very good take - I like it.
Elaine: The justification for her having the Dolorous Stroke really doesn't seem enough. A blood relation to the person who got hit by it shouldn't really grant her anything, regardless of forcibly asserting herself into being a Lancer. By much the same logic, Chiron should have access to Hydra Poison (and would have more of a claim to it, having been a direct sufferer).
Yeah, she was a part of a game on a server where there's a general theme we have to make a servant around and guess their identity. The class I got was Lancer and the idea was rather to make the figure difficult to guess who it was. I was tempted to repurpose her into a Saber, Berserker or Caster but I decided to stick with what I originally put.
Elaine: Interesting take on the character. I have to concur that the Dolorous Stroke seems a little weak in its justification as to why she has it, but other than it looks fine for the most part.
Originally Posted by Bird of Hermes
Ching Shih:
All i can 'critique' is that
Gale of Plunder
makes a few of the other skills feel redundant. 1st NP feels a little 'run off the mill' but that's to be expected. However the second one stands out in particular, it's a very good take - I like it.
Thank you for the critique! However, I'm not too sure how Gale of Plunder makes the other skills redundant as it's only description is "measures the excellence of pirates" with no further elaboration on what it does, if anything.
Elaine: always wanted to see her as a servant, but defenily didn't expect this kind of personality. I would be more inclined to not accept Dolorous Stroke if it wasn't such a cool attack, but it is so it's all ok to me. The only small thing is, it is kinda weird for her to have such a supportive NP as Song of Grail. You could had it where "usually effects all her allies, but to her insistence now it only affects her" or something
Anyway, any opinions on my last sheets? I am specially curious about what others my think of Rider since it was the one I had to sink more research into.
Marguerite de Bressieux & Shizuka Gozen: Let me put it this way, these were both the kind of sheets that made me want to look up the original figure. Very good ideas and a very good read.
Yeah, she was a part of a game on a server where there's a general theme we have to make a servant around and guess their identity. The class I got was Lancer and the idea was rather to make the figure difficult to guess who it was. I was tempted to repurpose her into a Saber, Berserker or Caster but I decided to stick with what I originally put.
First of all, thanks for showing interest in Shizuka. It is nice to know that some people actually care.
Now, in regards to your take on Elaine, I'm afraid that this is a typical example of "good concept, poor execution". Making her into a possessive, manipulative woman that usurp the merits of others for her own gain is actually a really great spin on her legend - in most cases, the whole affair with Lancelot is usually blamed on her father instead. Also, kudos to you for making her into a Sakura-clone (it makes sense, in a twisted way).
Still, if you were going on that direction, it would have made more sense to make said manipulation/usurpation as her Noble Phantasm and then use that to explain why she has diverging abilities/Skills that are basically watered-down versions of other people's NP. Also, while I don't mind that you used Grail Pedigree, I had developed that as a variation of the Skill possessed by FGO's EMIYA (Assassin - Kiritsugu), so it does not actually correspond to Protection of the Fairies, even if their effects is the same. On another hand, given the circumstances of Galahad's conception, I find it weird that she does not have some sort of Shapeshift/disguise ability.
Originally Posted by TheLordOfAwesome
Thank you for the critique! However, I'm not too sure how Gale of Plunder makes the other skills redundant as it's only description is "measures the excellence of pirates" with no further elaboration on what it does, if anything.
Originally Posted by my translation of Bart's profile
Plundering of the Gale: A
A skill that indicates how excellent one's piracy is.
Going as far as lead the greatest pirate group in the world, Bartholomew performed plundering in a brilliant manner.
Among his feats, his piracy of over 42 Portuguese ships is a stuff of legends. The story goes that he obtained not only commodities such as sugar and tabacco, but also 40,000 moidores and a cross with embedded diamonds created for the King of Portugal.
As far as I can tell, this is a more "proactive" version of Golden Rule; it determines how much money you can make through pirate activities.
Get famous in America, you're American. That's literally how America works.
Unless you're Justin Bieber, Canada didn't want him, but America refuses to claim responsibility
Originally Posted by In a certain South Park episode...
Kyle Broflovski: And what happens when an invulnerable cheater comes up against an elitist corporate dictator? Eric Cartman:A perfect storm of hypocrisy that everyone in the country has to deal with for months on end.
As far as I can tell, this is a more "proactive" version of Golden Rule; it determines how much money you can make through pirate activities.
Ah, that makes sense. In that case, I can see how it might be a little redundant. That said, I can't see a reason why a Servant couldn't potentially have both. Just means they can actively and passively acquire wealth.
Hey man, welcome to the thread! Hope you can stay with us for a long time from now on.
But yes, speaking of your sheet, I think you wanked this character good. (WORDS. BUT PAY NO ATTENTION TO THEM.) We all know the Camelot side of this story is super wanked anyway, so this shouldn't surprise anyone... Besides that, I think that the effort you've put on this sheet is apparent. The spelling is also great, and I can only imagine how much work you've must had to type all of this! Now, I wish I could had seen your interpretation of Galahad instead of "your Nasu's interpretation" but this is merely one niptick amidst this incredible thing. I still think you did great. (The "Angel wings of ascencion" personal skill also caught me kinda off guard, but again, with enough suspension of disbelief I can accept they'd give him something like that.)
Hey man, welcome to the thread! Hope you can stay with us for a long time from now on.
But yes, speaking of your sheet, I think you wanked this character good. (WORDS. BUT PAY NO ATTENTION TO THEM.) We all know the Camelot side of this story is super wanked anyway, so this shouldn't surprise anyone... Besides that, I think that the effort you've put on this sheet is apparent. The spelling is also great, and I can only imagine how much work you've must had to type all of this! Now, I wish I could had seen your interpretation of Galahad instead of "your Nasu's interpretation" but this is merely one niptick amidst this incredible thing. I still think you did great. (The "Angel wings of ascencion" personal skill also caught me kinda off guard, but again, with enough suspension of disbelief I can accept they'd give him something like that.)
Thank you for your kind words!
Last edited by Nafaalilargus; July 18th, 2021 at 12:47 PM.
"This whole thing seems like a chore, but I guess I'll do it"
Class: Caster
Alignment: True/neutral
Region: China
Height: 165cm
Weight: 60kg
Likes: gazing at the moon, good stories, lazying around
Dislikes: irrational emperors, seafaring, having to do stuff
Talent: traveling
Armaments: fire
Natural Enemy: Qin Shi Huang
stats
Str: E
End: C
Agi: D
Mna: A
Lck: B
NP: A
Skills
class skills
Item Construction(A+): The Skill to manufacture magical items, from implements of war to items for daily use. Caster is extremely proficient in making healing potions that grant limited immortality, which can even be produced in large quantities.
Territory Creation(EX): The Skill to build a special terrain that is advantageous to oneself as a magus, such as for the purpose of collecting mana. Interconnected to her Noble Phantasm, the creation of a "Sacred Mountain" which is superior to a "Temple" becomes possible
personal skills
Natural body(Artificial)(A): The possession of a perfect body as a living being, but who was acquired through Artificial means. As a Xian, Caster has possession of an "immortal and unchanging body" who is not affected by age or illness. This skill also doubles as Battle Continuation at the same rank.
Wisdom of the Eight Immortals(B): knowledge of Magecraft, receive from the eight sages from the eternal land. With it, Caster can recognize and, if necessary, disarm any spell she encounters. An Anti-Thaumaturgy Skill, since she is the one occupying the class of Caster, use on a regular grail war is limited.
Eternal Flames(B): The Skill to conjure the unquenchable fire from the land of the immortals granted to Caster after she became a Xian. The Flames utilized by Caster can not be extinguished by normal means and their burns can only be cured by Caster itself.
Noble phantasm
The Vision of the Intangible
Hourai Shinkiro
rank: Mountain, A
Caster's Noble Phantasm, a Reality Marble that allows her to summon Mount Penglai and the land of eternal youth that surrounds it. The name comes from how the place is referred to in the Kwaidan, marking it as a world of made-up fantasy.
It is a place where there is no agony and no winter. Everything on the mountain seems white, the territory is filled with palaces made from gold and platinum and jewels grow on trees. The atmosphere is made not of air but of "quintillions of quintillions" of souls. Breathing in these souls is said to grant one all of the perceptions and knowledge of these ancient souls.
Once inside of it, Caster and her allies will be constantly fueled with mana and receive bonuses to their stats and skills. In the trees, the jewel fruits that grow are also able to cure ailments simply by being consumed, permitting anyone an easy way to heal if necessary.
Background
Caster's identity is that of Xu Fu. She was a Chinese alchemist and explorer who served as a court sorcerer in Qin Dynasty China.
The ruler of the Qin Dynasty, Qin Shi Huang, feared death and sought a way to live forever. He entrusted Caster with the task of finding the secret elixir of immortality. In 219 BC, she was sent with three thousand virgin boys and girls to retrieve the elixir of life from the immortals on the Mount Penglai.
Caster sailed for several years without finding the mountain. In 210 BC, when Qin Shi Huang questioned him, she claimed there was a giant sea creature blocking the path, and asked for archers to kill the creature. Qin Shi Huang agreed and sent archers to kill a giant fish. Xu then set sail again, but he never returned from this trip.
The Records of the Grand Historian says he came to a place with "flat plains and wide swamps" and proclaimed himself king never to return, but that is not actually true.
The fact is, Caster did, in fact, found the mystical land she was searching for. There she encountered the Eight, who granted Caster a xian body and taught her their secrets. However, the sages also shared with her knowledge of what would happen of her Emperor ever became immortal. They showed visions of a horrifying future where free will was lost and people lived in ignorance and so, Caster decided to stay in Penglai and secure their secret.
personality
Caster is one of those people who, although smart and capable, prefers to do nothing and just lazy around. She likes to stargaze by herself but isn't oppose good a good company either, especially if they can tell a good story that she never heard before.
That fact is, she is very bored. Caster has lived for a long time and seen a lot of things, so if it's not something new it will most likely not catch her attention. She can be convinced to do things with enough insistence, but don't count on her putting a lot of effort into it.
Although she had admired her emperor on the past, the knowledge of the future he would create as an immortal has changed her view of him to a mostly negative one. They would probably not get along very well should they meet again.
At first this may be awkward but i wish all Beastlair mmembers and sppecially all other sheet and profile creaters a good Health and protection in this corona Crisis regardless where you are,stay healthy everyone !
now that i have that from my Soul
Nanabozho:At first a newe indianic servant from North america is Always nice to see ! Also does she look in comparison to you other servant build somewhat whole ! im curious if she gets along with Ada Muso ?
Galatea:thats an perfect sheet for such a rather small figure of the mythology i would have not idea to adapt as servant !
Ching Shih : Definetely a interesting servant as she can even overtake other ship noblephantasm and she has also an interesting personnality although you could advice wise Mention how se would react towards other servants of certain occupation like Sailor like Magelan ,Columbus or how she find philosopher servant example wise or how she would act towards her Master in particular ? What would be her Noblephaantasm in her other classes if you habe thought also on that ?
all in all must i say that you make quite good servants my friend ! as i never expected to see the Tsavo Lion Brothers her ! Im though curious how Ching shih would react towards my Titanica as she is basically the personification of the Titanic ,and what would she say to my Poseidon ?
Last edited by Kabalisto Koga; March 16th, 2020 at 06:55 AM.
Reply With Quote
Originally Posted by WhiteFrenzy
A wise and beautiful woman who exudes an aura of grace. She is a sly, cunning, manipulative person who always gets what she wants, whether through trickery or ruthlessness. Her own fighting abilities are low, but she should not be trifled with. What does she ride? Men, of course!
