Chaldea's Case Files

[Rafflesiac]

LMAO the return of the ghost

[Takashi]

Did anyone made a pdf of the first case

[Draconic]

This looks interesting. Shame about the formatting, but I suppose I could do something about that.

- - - updated - - -

Okay, collected each of the sections, I'll see if I can compile it and make it look nice in less than two weeks.

[Comun]

Hijikata Toshizou (and the) Kidnapping Incident part 5

The threat letter indicated the combat simulator room as the place for the exchange. Was the culprit intending to start a fight as a cover story for the ransom delivery?“They shoved this at me, demanding that I use it to strengthen my Avenger self.”
Before they could recompose, Nobunaga had already taken out her Grail.
“Shame on you for taking it for yourself, without using it as told.”
“I am no miracle worker; I cannot do a thing if we lack the QP. To top it off, we are undersupplied on Embers as well. I wish our Master was more systematic in how they welcome and level new Servants.”
“Hey, you’re insulting your superior.”
“How could I not, in face of this pile of Servants left at level 1 bond 1?”
“Let’s change this subject before it turns into a crisis!”
“There’s one thing I still don’t get…”
Hijikata was alone under the shadows of the machinery, with a sour expression on his face.
“We got lucky Oda Nobunaga happened to have a Grail, but what was our guy planning to do if none of us had one?”
“Good question.”
Nobunaga sighed.
“So, your conclusion is that the culprit knew Nobbu had this Holy Grail?”
“They knew even though neither Master nor Okita did? I kept it hidden here in the boiler room, so Chacha might have found it, but if she did she would have booked with it without needing to interact with us. I do not see the point in involving Hijikata in this. If I was the only one on the case, I would have just laughed it off, but Hijikata would kick the culprit the moment he found out. His involvement does nothing but increase the risk.”
Nobunaga tilted her head, but Okita had a cheerful smile.
“Well, if we can just gently knock out and apprehend our criminal, there’s no question that can’t be answered with Hijikata’s masterful torture.”
“Damn, Okita, you are being a little too Shinsengumi in the head. This is why your puny manslayer club gets no respect.”
“Yeah? And you’re too Warring States in the head!”
“Hey, it’s time for the exchange. Shut up.”
Everyone shut their mouths and went to the simulator room in silence.
They arrived just at the right time.
The culprit manifested in the simulator room without a sound, taking the form of a Ghost made of giant bones.
“They are hiding their face, unsurprisingly…”
Nobunaga whispered quietly.
By the time she did, Okita had already jumped. She quickly drew her favorite sword, the bright white Kiku Ichimonji Norimune.
“Hey, Okita…!”
Hijikata’s restraint order failed to reach her ears.
“First step, supersonic. Second step, incessant… Third step, absolute blade!”
The tip of her blade landed cleanly on the Ghost’s throat.
“Mumyou Sandan-zuki!”
She was a famed swordswoman. She was a Heroic Spirit. Her blow shattered the enemy’s Spirit Core… but it was still strange that she was met with so little resistance.
The Ghost started crumbling into black dust…
“A Shadow Servant! A decoy?”
Okita leapt back to her original position and watched her surroundings.
Hijikata and Nobunaga stayed hidden behind the shadows of the meters. No signs of other Servants or magical beasts manifested.
After the Ghost turned to nothing, all that remained was a pile of black dust with a stained Japanese poetry book inside it.
Upon confirming there were no enemies to be found, Okita sheathed her sword and lifted both arms in a celebratory pose.
“Woohoo, a great victory for Okita-san! Case closed! I win! Hijikata, I’m taking ice cream as thanks. How about the 31 flavors box for a change of pace?”
“OKITA! Wait for your damn orders before you leap at someone! Do you wanna commit seppuku or would you rather have me cutting you down?!”
“Excuse me?”
Okita was sure Hijikata would thank her, but she was met with angry yells instead. She turned back to them without a clue what was going on. Nobunaga was scratching her head in disbelief that they didn’t see this coming.
“Okita… I will not judge you for baring your blade, but you should have at least waited until the enemy took out the anthology. If the mastermind was watching from the sidelines with the anthology on them, our deal would be called off, and the anthology would be dumped in a fire. How do you suppose you would pay for that mistake?”
“Oh.”
She didn’t even consider this possibility. Okita scratched her cheeks awkwardly.
“All’s well that ends well!”
“The classic excuse for indiscipline!”
“But look, we got the anthology back and the Grail is still safe!”
Okita picked up the book, swept away the dust, walked over to Hijikata and handed it to him. Hijikata flipped the pages, slightly taken aback from seeing all the content there.
“Huh, you’re right…”
“Do not validate her, radish man. Learn from how Lord El-Melloi beheaded Ma Su* in tears! This is why you are seen as nothing more than a mere manslayer club from Tama pretending to be friends! Was your group’s only extraordinary talent not the speed in which you turn against each other?”
“You say it like you were so sweet to your vassals that you gave the entire Oda clan diabetes. You just wanna see me purge a subordinate, don’t you? We’re not here for your entertainment.”
“Unlike in the Warring States, in the Bakumatsu era, every moment you survived was a victory!”
“I lived on the edge, too!”
“I’m glad our enemy didn’t have Nobbu’s awful personality!”
“What kind of good personality would one need to hold an object hostage and try to steal a Grail?!”
After yelling, Nobunaga abruptly came back to her senses and repeated herself.
“What kind of good personality would one need to hold an object hostage and try to steal a Grail…?”
“Was there any need for you to say that twice?”
“It might be an important clue. I was too concerned with the Hijikata angle to notice this, but if a plainly bad person were to try to steal a Grail, they would have used far less roundabout methods.”
“So?”
“This is the work of a good person. The pieces are falling into place.”
“Say what?”
Okita was not trusting that logic.


-

Upon leaving the simulator room, the party met a trio of beautiful but awfully clingy women.
“Oh dear, the three of you were training today? How admirable.”
Tamamo no Mae, Kiyohime, and Ushiwakamaru.
“Those’re the three ladies who surrounded Master at the feast yesterday and didn’t move an inch the entire night, right?”
“Yes, they’re hardcore. Are you three preparing something for tomorrow?”
“Yes, embarrassing as it may be, the three of us decided to try our own hands at ‘costume play’. It’ll go with the doujin Okkie and I are working on.”
Kiyohime answered shily, covering her face with her fan.
Hearing this answer, Nobunaga abruptly crouched where she was standing and started inspecting her tights, much to Okita’s bewilderment.
“N-Nobbu! What are you doing?!”
Kiyohime’s entire face went red and she backed away.
“My body belongs to master! I’ll show no mercy for anyone who touches me, be it even a fellow lady!”
She screamed, but was restrained by Ushiwakamaru.
“Stop, Kiyohime! There’s no point in trying to claim the head of a Servant, as it’ll only fade to light. Not to mention our lord will scold for killing one of our own! Take down a Shadow Servant, as those at least become dust!”
“Why does that matter?!”
Nobunaga stood back like nothing happened.
“I am done.”
“Done with what?!”
“I just noticed Kiyohime and Tamamo are wearing fine knee-highs.”
“You secretly had your eyes in Tamamo as well?! You frighten me, Nobunaga!”
Tamamo shivered.
“I wonder, Ushiwakamaru, have you been a part of these two’s cosplay party for the entire day?”
“I believe I have. Honestly, I wish I was helping our lord and Jeanne Alter with their manuscript for this year, but I was told I would be better as a cosplayer, so I’ve been trying new outfits with these two since morning in simulator room no. 2, the one where you can see the sea. I left once to farm hermit crab shells!”
Nobunaga and Ushiwakamaru had a friendly dialogue, completely ignoring the two creeped out girls behind them. Tamamo grabbed Ushiwakamaru by the arm.
“Ushiwakamaru, we’re on a tight schedule!”
“We are?”
“We are, we have to, uh, pre-cook the hermit crabs.”
“We eat hermit crab meat?”
The two ladies rushed away and disappeared down the hallway, dragging Ushiwakamaru with them.
“Be careful. If the two of you tried something like that on me, I’d shoot my Shinsengumi Noble Phantasm in your faces.”
“What were you doing, Nobu? We’re living in an era where even Hijikata knows how to behave respectfully and you pull something like that!? You’re very mistaken if you think you can get away with anything just because your voice is so cute!”
Nobunaga smirks at the flustered Okita.
“Those knee-highs have just led me to the truth.”
“Nobu broke on us!”
“No, what you’re witnessing is the Fool Deduction! The Demon King of Sixth Heaven’s infallible meta-reasoning Noble Phantasm!”
“What does meta-reasoning Noble Phantasm even mean?!”
“Something that sounds like it came from those old detective novels Mash is always reading.”
“Read them yourself before trying to make any parodies!”
“Can I dance the Atsumori in front of the culprit?”
“Can you be serious for a moment?!”
“If you figured out the culprit, hurry up and spill it already.”
Urged by Hijikata, Nobunaga nodded confidently.
“I shall, after all, I might become the second victim if I tease you for too long.”
“We’re not planning on killing a first victim!”
According to Oda Nobunaga, a great detective ignores any retorts made towards their statements. (Disclaimer: The character’s views do not reflect the author’s views)

Translation note:
Ma Su was a brilliant strategist of the Shu Kingdom, who Zhuge Liang quickly took as his personal student and held as his favorite subordinate. One day Ma Su ignored orders, made a mistake resulting in a huge loss against Wei, and was sentenced to execution for it. He was personally executed by Zhuge Liang, who was crying his eyes out in front of an entire audience on the execution stand. As Zhuge preserved the regulations even when he had to severely punish the transgressions of someone he loved, the story of beheading Ma Su in tears used to this day as a symbol of being just over being generous. So basically, this is the guy you should expect as a Flat Pseudo-Servant.

[Rafflesiac]

“I am no miracle worker; I cannot do a thing if we lack the QP. To top it off, we are undersupplied on Embers as well. I wish our Master was more systematic in how they welcome and level new Servants.”
“Hey, you’re insulting your superior.”
“How could I not, in face of this pile of Servants left at level 1 bond 1?”

heh, meta gags

- - - Updated - - -

Sasuga Okita, bloodthirsty as ever.

[Comun]

One more case done.

Hijikata Toshizou (and the) Kidnapping Incident finale

If we were to describe the stage for this finale in one word, it would be “cluttered”. It was similar to Hokusai’s tenement in terms of having nowhere to step on, but the key difference was that this room just had so much stuff that it didn’t feel organized even with everything properly arranged in orderly lines. It didn’t feel as run-down as “the hangout spot” either. Every aspect of it was half-baked. This said a lot about the personality of the owner of the room.When the three stepped inside, she was sitting in a very out-of-season kotatsu, facing a pen tablet.
“Ok, all that’s left is the guest entry...”
They knocked on the door, but it was like she didn’t even notice it. Okita had to call her by name.
“Osakabehime.”
That’s when she finally turned to face them, startled.
“Huh, w-why the visit?”
“You’re under inspection by the authority of the Shinsengumi!”
As Hijikata took a step forward, Osakabehime, unable to hide her panic, jumped from the kotatsu to the back wall of the room.
“M-me? What did I do?”
Her face immediately got covered in sweat. They all could tell she’s a terrible liar. Nobunaga stared attentively at her legs and nodded.
“Indeed, she’s wearing the white knee-highs. Case closed.”
“K-knee-highs?”
“This is your crime!”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about! My crime is making my legs look sexy?! Kya, sexy legs. T-that was a slip of tongue. An, uh, flattery. Complimenting just to be polite.”
“Use a stock compliment for that. And not to yourself.”
“That’s not the part you need to feel guilty about!”
Hijikata took a step forward.
“You’re being accused of kidnapping.”
“K-kidnapping? What? I’ve been here the whole time, just working on WIPs.”
“Not the whole time. You went to the grand library to take copies. You are the one who taught Hokusai everything about 4 color separation. Everyone else was writing full-time. The fools think they can use a Noble Phantasm to make their finished compositions grow binding and a cover, perhaps. Well, Nursery Rhyme probably could, but she is a book, not an author.”
Nobunaga sighed at her own observations.
“Afterwards, you lied down on the floor, among the victims of Andersen’s book avalanche.”
“I don’t have a clue what you’re talking about.”
“We saw three pairs of legs buried under the books. A child’s, one in armor, and one in white socks. The child was Andersen, and the armor was Hokusai’s anatomic model - the name ‘Automata’ reminds of female dolls, but Hokusai was painting portraits of the men of the Round Table, hence the armor. Western armor is not a subject she is used to. The socks could not have been Hokusai’s own, as she was barefoot. Her tenement’s tatami was filled with barefoot prints - You are the only one there who could have been the white knee-highs woman.”
“U-!”
Osakabehime covered her mouth- a reaction that only made Nobunaga more excited. She was having a blast.
“You took off your geta and dived into the mess of books. After all, the only Servants in Chaldea wearing both geta and knee-highs are you and Ushiwakamaru!”
Everyone in the room gasped, not only Osakabehime.
“Huh? R-really? I never knew.”
“All others wear lower socks, tights, boots, leggings, wrapped pieces of cloth, or go barefoot! Knee-highs are a vast minority among the sock users! And Ushiwakamaru has an alibi!”
“That’s what you were looking at, Nobbu?! N-now that you mentioned it, I’m on the list, with socks + leggings! Wait, mine are stirrup pants. Do they really count as regular socks…? Actually, are they work tabi with stirrup leggings…? Doesn’t sound right either…”
While Okita tried to wrap her head around this shocking revelation, Nobunaga moved on with her deduction.
“This incident was a case of ‘theft’ or ‘loss’, and you would not know if Hijikata had a Grail or not. And it was possible he would not exchange the haikus for a Grail, regardless of them being one-of-a-kind. Stealing Hijikata’s haikus for a Grail is too impractical. That is what made me wonder. What if it was the opposite?”
“You lost me.”
“Back there, Nursery Rhyme called this case a ‘kidnapping’. You realized this agitation ruined your plans to quietly return the haikus, so you sent a threatening letter demanding ransom just for show, did you not? Only someone who heard Nursery’s peculiar wording would think of disguising this case as a kidnapping.”
“Y-you’re at fault for not noticing me there during your rescue! You could have saved me.”
They all agree that was tragic. If Murasaki’s Taizan Kaisetsusai were usable, she wouldn’t have been ignored.
“A-also, I wasn’t the only person in the library. There was also, uh, err… it could have been someone else.”
She kept digging her own grave with unconvincing excuses, but Nobunaga humored her anyways.
“Andersen and Shakespeare were already at their limits. I cannot believe either of them had any power left to control a Shadow Servant afterwards.”
“What about the possibility of Nursery staging a hoax?!”
“Osakabehime.”
After coming this far, her mystery-solving wouldn’t stop. Oda Nobunaga pointed at her face, almost touching the tip of her nose.
“The threat letter called the haikus his ‘old shame’. And yet, Hijikata never had a hint of shame about them! He showed them to Andersen and Shakespeare without hesitation, and was fully willing to show them to Murasaki Shikibu! Nursery Rhyme is but a compilation of word-of-mouth, composed of puns made up by Europeans. Thus, she can be considered to be crystallized embarrassing pre-teen fantasies and old shames herself. You were the only one there who would have called that book an old shame!”
“Uuh-!”
Osakabehime then collapsed on the floor, gripping her chest.
“Know that calling other people’s works old shames will always come back to bite you! You must not even call your own work childish old shames for no good reason. I do not care if you are deprecating yourself to be humble. People are made of words. If you say your past was an old shame you wish to repress, then it will so be. If you say your past is a nostalgic time of youth, then it will so be. Only you have the power to make your own past shameful.”
“Hearing a decent life lesson from the self-proclaimed ‘Demon King of the Sixth Heaven’ really tugs my heartstrings for some reason! I’m ugly sobbing! Can I cry?”
“A fine product of my late-night mood! Live proud! You need to grow a backbone, have some honor as the haunt of Monkey’s Himeji!”
“A-actually, if I were to say I only had one ‘old shame’ in my entire life, this one would be it!”
“Though what gives you the right to give all this ‘old shame’ talk when you were calling my haikus ‘word salads’?”
“I may regret some deeds, but I would never consider them old shames! I always live to the fullest! I lived my every moment as if it were my last!”
“Don’t plagiarize Kamen Rider Zi-O: Over Quartzer!”
“They plagiarized me first!”
We’ll be ignoring the discussion with the Gudaguda trio to avoid problems. Osakabehime was sobbing on the corner.
“I d-did it on impulse… I had this one page I needed to fill in my flatplan…”
“What a tragic case…”
Okita crouched next to her and placed her hand on Osakabehime’s shoulder.
“Ok, but let’s talk about how to settle it. I’m thinking cutting your head off will do, but if you want seppuku, I wouldn’t mind that.”
A Hijikata classic. Without a change in expression, he drew his favorite sword, Izumi-no-Kami Kanesada. Okita restlessly raised her voice.
“Wait, beheading! Do we really need to?”
“Theft is a violation of bushido.”
“Yeah, but she gave your haiku back! Weren’t you the one saying we shouldn’t be getting into fights against Servants of our Master?”
“Not for private matters. Disciplining our regiment’s soldiers is Shinsengumi matters.”
“Since when am I a Shinsengumi soldier?!”
Osakabehime’s crying face was almost looping back into a maniac grin, but Hijikata still offered no mercy.
“Since the day you set foot in this Shinsengumi base!”
“T-this room is the Himeji Castle!”
“Enough bullshit!”
“Your logic is not much better than hers!”
“Damn it, Okita, why were you so eager to kill Okada and the Shadow Servant, but not her?”
“That’s not, uh, I, because…! Nobbu! Nobbu, please help me stop him!”
Okita shouted as her back shielded Osakabehime from her execution. Nobunaga lifted a flintlock and pointed it in her direction.
“The worst that can happen is you two disappearing with the sparkly animation, then coming back unscathed next month saying ‘Man, last event really sucked for me’.”
“Oh c’mon, you can do better than this ‘I’m bored now because I already solved the mystery’ routine! Weren’t you going to dance the Atsumori? Follow up on your promise!”
“Do not get me involved in the internal strife of your baby manslayer circle. Grow a spine and execute your own traitor already.”
“Can you all stop counting Osakabehime as one of your members?!”
“Arguing with the Berserker is more work than it is worth. Hijikata lacks the Riding and the Divinity to be honeycombed by my Noble Phantasm, and this field is not flaming.”
“Don’t analyze your matchup by gameplay!”
“Get out of the way, Okita, before I slash you with her!”
Things were getting bloody…
Until someone knocked the door. She barged in before an answer.
“Osakabehime! Here’s yer guest entry! Pipin’ hot out of the press!”
It was Hokusai, almost completely covered in paint. She proudly spread open the A3 poster in her hands.
“Nude Hijikata Toshizou pin-up, with haiku! CMYK 4 color separation, replacin’ magenta for fluorescent pink and takin’ out the cyan, just like you taught me to do!”
Hijikata instantly stopped moving. He stared intently at the poster, with this katana still unsheathed in his hand.
10 seconds of silence later:
“Osakabehime… Once you’re done with this book of yours, send one copy to Murasaki Shikibu and one to Carmilla. I’ll overlook this incident if you do.”
“Ok.”
“Are you serious?”

Bonus chapter: Qin Shi Huang and Hijikata Toshizou’s collaborative poetry

“To zhen, only those of literary talent could compose poetry… yet this does not seem to be the case in this human history! This is truly a possibility that could not be found anywhere in a world ruled by Qin!”
“Hell yeah, that’s the soul of a Wolf of Mibu.”
“Hijikata, that wasn’t a compliment.”

Korumono Migiwa's afterword

I assumed everyone else would write proper mysteries with beautiful logical tricks, so I decided I should instead do something more like a FGO event! (smiling)
I did what I had to do, and don't regret it in the slightest. I know someone out there will inherit this will of mine... Specifically, someone writing for volume 2... (disappears in a sparkling animation)

[Rafflesiac]

Can't believe that Hijikata's the kind of guy who sends dick pics.

Thanks for the translation, I had several proper giggles.

[Comun]

Starting now with case 3: the writer's poorly disguised fetish. I don't even need to remind that Ryou Amane claimed he got the job by endlessly ranting about how much he loved Rin because his text kinda does it on its own.

Ishtar and Ereshkigal's Case Files chapter 1

I opened the mansion’s doors, and took a look at the scenery outside.
The vast garden was covered in a layer of grass, surrounded by towering brick walls and an iron gate.
Beyond that gate, darkness.
And by that, I don’t mean it was night. I’m talking about complete darkness, the kind that feels physically heavy. I tried to look at the sky above me, but up there it was also just darkness.
I gave out an involuntary sigh, which painted the air white before dissolving in the void. The outside of the mansion was as frigid as the inside. Even under these gloves, the cold still made my fingertips hurt. And as I shivered—
“Ritsuka.”
—someone called my name. I didn’t need to turn around to know who it was. Her voice was shiveringly convicted and dignified. A voice that can mix strength and loveliness unlike any other. I had no doubts that this voice belonged to…
“Ishtar.”
I said her name as I turned around, and my body froze once I did. I was right to guess that the voice was Ishtar’s, but… she didn’t look like her usual self…
“What’s wrong? You’re looking duller than usual today.”
“Uh… I was just thinking about how different you look in this outfit.”
Ishtar’s default outfit was a very revealing one, designed to show off her (not all that impressive) chest. And what she was wearing now was nothing like that. She was wearing a beige vest inside a red overcoat, and a black skirt. Her neck peeked out of her white shirt, adorned with a red ribbon tie. Her slender legs were covered with knee-high socks.
It looked almost like a school uniform. It looked amazing on her, I wasn’t complaining or anything, but… why…?
Ishtar grinned, grabbing her collar.
“Mystic Code A Fragment of 2004. A Mystic Code that replicates a uniform supposedly worn by multiple Masters in a battle for the Holy Grail. The coat was not part of the Mystic Code, though. That was my own choice.”
“Oh, I see… wait, what am I saying? Ishtar, why would you need to wear a Mystic Code?”
“I just put on whatever I found here in the mansion. My usual look would feel out of place with all this cold. I’m a sensible and thoughtful goddess.”
“I don’t recall seeing thoughtfulness anywhere in your Skill list… Never mind, I didn’t say anything.”
I tried to cover for myself upon seeing Ishtar narrow her eyes.
“Any reason to pick that one, other than thoughtfulness?”
“Out of everything in the closet, this is the one that felt like the best choice. Might be an influence from the girl hosting me, now that I think about it. I wish I could’ve washed it before I wore it, but it doesn’t look like I can. More importantly…”
Ishtar turned serious before I could say anything.
“What’s happening here?”
“I don’t know. I just woke up here.”
I also turned serious in response.
Tomorrow (December 26th) was the day the Mage’s Association would come to audit Chaldea. After my last dinner with the staff who stuck with me through the thick and thin, I went to bed wishing I didn’t have to say goodbye to all of this. But once I woke up, I found myself lying down on this mansion’s floor. It was cold as hell, so I took a muffler, a coat, and gloves from the closet, and left the room. I passed through a large hall and walked outside when Ishtar called me—Ishtar looked puzzled as I summarized the events for her.
“I woke up in the mansion, too. I guess it’s safe to assume we’re in a Singularity. I know that you have a natural tendency to get dragged into those, but why was I brought here? Not saying I dislike being alone with you, though.”
“What?”
“N… Nothing! Let’s escape this place before we get off-track. We just need to board Maanna and crash into that darkness-“
“You’ll most likely be erased if you do.”
I turn around again to find the source of the calming voice. There was a large hall behind me. A wide staircase was at the end of it, leading to the second floor. And a man was walking down those stairs.
The man had long black hair, in stark contrast with his white coat. His face was so peaceful and harmonious that he looked like a woman at first glance.
“Paracelsus.”
“I can’t tell exactly what time it is, but I’ll make the baseless guess, and say–good morning, Master.”
The True Name of the man politely bowing before me was Van Hohenheim Paracelsus. This Servant was a famed alchemist at his time. His Class was Caster, and he was well-mannered like a gentleman.
However, Paracelsus was staring daggers at Ishtar, in a way that was very unlike him.
“What’s wrong? You fell for me now that I tried a new look?”
“I’m very glad to meet you, Ishtar.”
Paracelsus offered Ishtar his right hand.
“That didn’t answer my question. Are you shy?”
With a smug smirk, Ishtar shook his hand. For some reason, Paracelsus flinched from her grip and pulled his hand away from hers.
“That darkness is nothingness, Master. Literally, nothing exists inside it.”
“Wait a minute!? Was that that a way to treat a goddess?”
“If you touch it, you’ll ultimately be swallowed, and your entire being will turn to nothing.”
Ishtar’s sulky expression turned stiff upon hearing Paracelsus’ composed statement of the facts. Standing next to her, I asked Paracelsus.
“How do you know this?”
“It’s conjecture resulting from analysis. I’m confident I’m correct.”
Paracelsus took a B5-size notebook from his breast pocket while he said that.
“I explored the mansion and found this. It’s releasing a vast amount of magical energy. I have no doubts that this is the core of this Singularity.”
“What’s in this notebook?”
“It’s the idea notebook of a mystery novelist—a mystery novelist of very poor quality, to be specific.”
Paracelsus cringed a bit as he opened the notebook to show us.
“The author is ambitious—they want to sell, to win literary awards, to trend. But despite these ambitions, they wrote far too many stale, unusable mysteries, full of culprits that become too obvious by the first half of the book, and physically impossible tricks.”
Every inch of every page of the notebook was covered in letters, illustrations, and diagrams. How could all of it be stale? There had to be something decent somewhere… I’d be horrified if I couldn’t find anything.
“Their intense obsession with their wish to write an amazing mystery inadvertently connected to the magical energy born from a Holy Grail fragment, causing this Singularity. You could say this is a Singularity made solely to produce ideas for a murder mystery. Hence it’s form as a mansion. Because mansions are a staple setting to the genre. This trend is said to have been brought back to modern traditionalist mystery by The Decagon House Murders, first published by Ayatsuji Yukito in 1987.”
“I had already figured that part out. But why does nothing exist outside of the mansion?”
Paracelsus opened the first page in response to my obvious question.
“The notebook’s opening line proudly declares: ‘Mystery novels are intellectual games where their puzzle is the only thing that exists. They require strict rules. Everything useless for the puzzle-solving is unnecessary.’”
“So basically, everything outside of the mansion is nothing because it’s being considered unnecessary to the mystery? And anyone who dares go there turns to nothing because they’re also considered unnecessary?”
“You’re a man of sharp wit, Master. That’s all correct.”
I appreciated the compliment, but if you asked me, Paracelsus was the real “man of sharp wit” here. What could I have done without an alchemist deciphering everything for me?
“So, this Singularity will disappear if we find whoever wrote this notebook and retrieve their Grail fragment, right?”
I tried to pump myself for the task, but Paracelsus shook his head, as he was about to bring the bad news.
“The notebook’s owner is closer to an amalgam of consciousness than to an individual. No single owner exists. In fact, the number of third-rate mystery novelists participating in this amalgam increases at every second. Obsessions are born every time someone is run by envy upon finding a mystery novel on the best-sellers shelf, or watching a high-class mystery novelist present their new masterpiece. Nothing short of removing the mystery genre from our world can put a stop to their obsessions. The Holy Grail fragment is drowning in their toxic waves. It’s impossible to search for the owner, let alone find them.”
The notebook in Paracelsus’ hands was filled with the obsessions of an infinitely expanding amount of crappy mystery novelists, huh… Now that was horrifying.
Ishtar squinted.
“Ok, I get what’s going on, but why did we get pulled in here?”
“That I don’t know. Maybe we just happened to be compatible with the writers’ obsessions. Or perhaps someone took advantage of the Singularity to pull us in. If the former, it’s quite unnatural that Sherlock Holmes, a Servant practically birthed by the mystery genre, isn’t here. If the latter, their objective is unknown. Neither sounds particularly plausible at the moment. But one thing we do know is how to escape. If we solve the case that happened in this mansion, in other words, if we offer them a good murder mystery idea, the writers’ obsessions will be gone, and we’ll automatically obtain the Holy Grail fragment. The Singularity should disappear, too.”
“Hah, as if a murder case would conveniently pop in front of us, ready to be solved.”
Ishtar gave an exasperated sigh, but Paracelsus shook his head.
“Gilgamesh is dead. Murdered, without a doubt.”

[Rafflesiac]

Firstly, thanks.

Secondly, wow is this short story's prose aggressively LN. It's like I'm on Baka-Tsuki.

Thirdly, LMAO RIP Gil.

[warellis]

Huh so does this case take place in the Tohsaka mansion?

[Comun]

Chapter 2

The crime scene was a hall on the second floor. It had white walls, and a lustrous chandelier. The floor was black gleaming marble. It looked more than wide enough to receive a hundred guests.Gilgamesh was lying face-down in the corner, on the left end of the hall, looking from the entrance door. He was wearing his Uruk king outfit, not his golden armor, and his hair was down. That meant his Class was Caster, not Archer.
An arrow was piercing his back, slightly left from the center. Suicide was out of the question. Definitely a murder, just as Paracelsus said. Still…
“Aren’t Servant bodies supposed to disappear when they die?”
“Yes. To be precise, Gilgamesh is in a state of temporary death. If we indict the culprit, the energy generated by writers’ obsession will disappear, bringing him back to life. That’s why he didn’t vanish.”
“So, who’s our culprit here?”
Paracelsus shook his head in response to Ishtar’s question.
“I’m an alchemist, not a detective. All I can do is scientifically analyze the events before me. I’ll leave the mystery solving to Master.”
“W-way to put some pressure on me.”
“I trust you can do it, Master.”
Paracelsus smiled in an attempt to bring some courage to my stiff face, and pointed to the arrow lodged in Gilgamesh’s back.
“My analysis determined that the arrow didn’t reach his heart. This indicates his death wasn’t instant. It’s impossible to shoot at a Servant of Gilgamesh’s level, even if from behind him, through normal means. The culprit must have approached him in spirit form.”
“So you’re saying the culprit is a Servant?”
“Of course, silly. You think a normal human could kill a Servant?”
Before Paracelsus could answer, Ishtar let out her snobbish comment.
Ishtar was a Pseudo-Servant using a human girl as a vessel. Her particular species of Servant couldn’t go into spirit form. Knowing that, she must have thought her innocence was already proven.
Paracelsus nodded.
“Servants in spirit form can’t attack others. Keeping too much distance would lessen the force of the arrow to an impractical level, and getting too close would make Gilgamesh know of their presence. I can only assume they went into their physical form 5-6 meters away from him, and shot that same instant.”
“HP and ATK change according to Level, so you can’t gauge their distance from that.”
“I imagined that would be your first observation, Master, but remember my previous explanation. This manor is a Singularity which exists solely to come up with ideas for mysteries. Level differences are seemingly unnecessary to compose a mystery, so all Servants have been evened to Level 1.”
Paracelsus spread his arms to show off the robe he was wearing. The marks on his white robe were red, which was part of his first Ascension outfit. Not that the gesture meant much, considering he used the exact same outfit on his second Ascension. The same could be said for Ishtar, now that I think about it.
“I was also wearing my first Ascension clothes before I changed into this. I’m also level 1, and Gilgamesh should be too.”
“This proves we Servants are level 1. And here is the murder weapon.”
Paracelsus picked up a bow laid next to Gilgamesh.
“I retrieved this from the warehouse. It was hidden inside a wooden box, making it safe to assume the arrow was shot from this bow.”
“You work fast, alchemist. I like that.”
Paracelsus spoke without even looking at the huge smile on Ishtar’s face.
“I already checked the fingerprints left on this bow. They belong to Ishtar.”
“…What?”
Ishtar feigned ignorance, with that big smile still stamped on her face. I was the only one left speechless when Paracelsus showed he had worked much faster than she expected.
“I collected Ishtar’s fingerprints from our handshake a few moments ago.”
Paracelsus raised his right hand, showing a white scrap of paper stuck to it. An index fingerprint was visible in the middle of it. Was that Ishtar’s fingerprint…? He sure knew what he was doing there!
“A good alchemist always carries tools like these.”
I couldn’t tell what that had to do with anything, but Paracelsus seemed completely serious as he said that.
“Fingerprints are unique to each person. If a pair of prints share more than 12 identifying traits, we can conclude they belong to the same person. Those computer systems you often see mapping fingerprints in detective television still don’t exist in modern society. They’re appraised solely by human eyes. This normally takes a long time, but with my Heroic Spirit eyes, I only need one glance to compare the fingerprints here, with this paper.”
While saying “here”, Paracelsus pointed somewhere around the middle of the bow. A silver powder was spread atop it, forming the image of a fingerprint.
“The two prints share 77 identifying traits. They’re Ishtar’s, without a doubt.”
Ishtar’s face tensed immediately.
“Ho... how can you just eyeball that?”
“Well, I already suspected the culprit was an Archer from the moment I knew the murder weapon was a bow. By the way, this bow has the unique ability to enable even Pseudo-Servants to go into spirit form. The crime was possible for Ishtar.”
“Don’t ignore my questions, I’m not the culprit!”
“I’m just laying out the facts. Master is our detective here. Tell us, Master, what conclusion does this all lead you to?”
“I’m not sure what I’m supposed to be able to tell…”
Ishtar was losing her mind. I looked at her and said:
“The culprit is Ishtar. Her Class is Archer, so she used her weapon of choice, a bow, to kill Gilgamesh. That’s what the circumstances make it look like. But… I really can’t imagine Ishtar being the culprit…”
“Th… that’s right, Ritsuka.”
Ishtar puffed her chest suddenly, no longer nervous.
“For starters, Paracelsus, this analysis of yours missed a huge key point: the whydunit.”
Paracelsus raised eyebrows, but Ishtar continued, proudly.
“You know one Pseudo-Servant who always talks about how important the whydunit is. Why did the culprit do it? Following that logic, tell me, what motive could I have to kill Gilga-”
I guess she noticed what she was saying. Ishtar stopped midsentence and stood still, with her mouth half open.
“You sure do have a motive to kill Gilgamesh.”
“Motives, plural, even. Rejecting your proposal due to your personality. Slaying Gugalanna, the Bull of Heaven you sent as retaliation. Condescendingly making fun of you in the middle of a major crisis in Uruk. It’s hard to believe you took this long to finally kill him. It’s no surprise you thought this to be your chance and rushed to the deed.”
“Th… that’s just armchair detectiving. I wouldn’t be dumb enough to leave fingerprints.”
Not a claim I’d expect from the person who brought up her own whydunit. I could feel the pity in Paracelsus eyes as he continued.
“You’re a careless person, Ishtar. I can’t tell if from your own nature or your vessel’s influence. It’s quite possible that you mistakenly thought you wiped all prints, but left some behind.”
“I wouldn’t have hidden the murder weapon in the warehouse. I would’ve dumped it in the darkness outside.”
“Considering you didn’t know the nature of the darkness, it’s reasonable for you to have assumed the warehouse was safer.”
“Modern human technology already invented little caps you put on your fingertips to reproduce someone else’s fingerprints. Someone could have used that.”
“I detected traces of skin where the fingerprints were. It wasn’t a cap.”
“Then it was… oh, I know, a homunculus! I’m always beating homunculi in battle, so it wouldn’t be weird if a homunculus maker had a grudge against me.”
“A skilled enough maker could indeed create a homunculus capable of copying not only someone’s fingerprints, but even their memories and experiences. However, it wouldn’t be possible to copy a Servant’s abilities. A homunculus of you would only be capable of copying the girl who serves as your vessel. Repeating your own words from before, ‘you think a normal human could kill a Servant?’”
“If the homunculus was min-maxed for combat…”
“In theory, it is possible to make a homunculus specialized in one specific field. As an example, I’m currently building the Paracel, a homunculus-optimized exclusive to make chocolate. I’ll officially announce him on next year’s Valentine’s Day, if given the opportunity.”
Paracel… I wasn’t sure if I wanted to see that. Without noticing me and Ishtar’s stiff faces, Paracelsus continued.
“Paracel’s powers are comparable to mine, only when it comes to making chocolate. By the same logic, an Ishtar homunculus optimized for combat would be able to kill Gilgamesh.”
“Then my homunculus is the culpri-”
“However!”
Paracelsus spoke in a sharp voice, breaking Ishtar’s composure.
“If she’s optimized for combat, she wouldn’t be able to take complex actions, such as going into spirit form. Thus, the homunculus theory isn’t plausible, unfortunately.”
“Quite the smile for someone saying ‘unfortunately’! You’re just so sure I’m the culprit, aren’t you?”
“Don’t victimize yourself.”
Paracelsus dodged Ishtar’s accusations with a smile, and turned to me.
“If you, our Master, declare Ishtar is the culprit, the mystery will be considered solved, and this Singularity will disappear.”
“See, just like I said, you’re convinced I’m the culprit!”
“What would happen to Ishtar if I indicted her?”
I asked the question, knowing it would only add to Ishtar’s anger.
“She’d be incorporated into the Singularity, disappearing along with it.”
“Even if she’s not the culprit?”
“Yes. As I said multiple times already, we’re in a Singularity which exists solely to come up with ideas for mysteries. As long as our deduction is reasonable enough to convince the writers, it doesn’t matter if it’s right or wrong.”
“Wow, that system is just begging for false charges to happen.”
“Worry not. Judging by our circumstances, the truth couldn’t be clearer. No need to hesitate, Master. You can always summon another Ishtar. Her memories would be reset, yes, but these consequences wouldn’t be undeserved.”
“You’re completely stuck on the idea that I did it. But you guys will just have to wait.”
Ishtar fixed her posture and crossed her arms.
“Ritsuka is my Master, I can’t let him put me to shame. I’ll investigate the case.”


Ishtar took the bow from Paracelsus’ hands. He shot her a sharp look, without losing his composure. He must’ve been ready to arrest Ishtar the moment she made any weird moves.
Ishtar calmly strung the bow. I couldn’t tell if she noticed Paracelsus’ glare or not. The loud sound of the string reverberated through the entire hall. Ishtar squinted the moment she heard the noise. She turned to Paracelsus and me, and explained the interesting clue she just discovered.
“Seems like its ability to allow Pseudo-Servants to go into spirit form isn’t the only thing special about this bow.”
“Indeed. It also provides a large strength bonus when used by an Archer Servant. Conversely, it lowers the user’s strength when used by other Classes. For the lack of an official name, let’s call it Yoichi’s Bow.”
“Yoichi’s Bow, huh.”
Ishtar smiled for an instant, sure of her victory. Before I had the chance to ask her what happened, she propped Yoichi’s Bow against the wall, and approached Gilgamesh’s corpse. He was knocked face-down, and trickles of blood flowed from his back, outlining his body as they formed a puddle on the floor.
“You said the arrow didn’t make it all the way to the heart, didn’t you?”
“Yes, he must have taken half-damage.”
Servants were normally divided into seven Classes. Each Class had its own set of advantages and disadvantages. For example, Sabers were strong against Lancers but weak against Archers. Casters were strong against Assassins, but weak against Riders. Against Classes without special interactions, they all dealt neutral damage.
“Would the arrow pierce his heart with neutral damage, I wonder?”
“Most likely. And with double damage, it would have pierced all the way through to the other side of his chest.”
While I listened to their discussion, I reminded myself of the Class advantage chart and its interactions with the arrow.

“Then the culprit isn’t me. My Class is Archer, so my attack would have dealt neutral damage to Caster Gilgamesh. And with Yoichi’s Bow giving Archers an attack buff, my arrow should have pierced through his body. I could have hopped backwards to lower the damage, but there was no reason for me to have done that, and Gilgamesh isn’t someone you can take chances against. And yet, the arrow failed to reach the heart, indicating half-damage. That would mean I didn’t do it.”
“According to my analysis, an Archer using this bow gains a certain degree of remote control of its arrows. With enough distance, it would be possible to manipulate the arrow to minimize the damage. Before you ask, no, a homunculus specialized for combat wouldn’t be capable of an action as complex as remotely controlling an arrow.”
“You’re really pulling all stops to pin this crime on me, aren’t you?”
“I’m just trying to go somewhere warmer as fast as I can. No need to wait, Master. Indict the culprit.”
I couldn’t find any holes in Paracelsus’ analysis (or rather, accusation). But was it really okay to give a final verdict now? Before I could make my decision, the corners of Ishtar’s mouth twisted upward.
That was the same smile as before, completely sure of her victory.
“Paracelsus, you really jumped the gun in assuming I’m an Archer.”
“I’m not assuming anything. I know for a fact your Class is Archer.”
“Too bad.”
Ishtar’s tone was mocking as she stuck her tongue out.
“Ever since I came to this Singularity, my Saint Graph got unstable and changed my Class to Rider.”
What?
“You know my Rider form is a Summer form. A swimsuit would be an awful look for this frigid location, completely out of place. That’s why I changed into the first Mystic Code I found. Besides, before I knew what kind of enemy would be jumping on me, I didn’t want anyone finding out my Class changed.”
So that was the reason for her clothes! That sure made a lot more sense than Ishtar being sensible and thoughtful. Hiding her changed Class, huh… Ishtar really was a great Heroic Spirit, despite being… like that. I was surprised, but convinced. Ishtar looked at me, displeased.
“A decent Master would have noticed my Class changed.”
All I could reply with was, “How was I supposed to?”
Paracelsus shook his head.
“Your word alone does not prove your Class changed. It’s still quite possible you’re trying to hide the fact you’re an Arc- GHAH!”
Paracelsus screamed as Ishtar punched him in the face.
“This pain… that’s double damage against Casters… This confirms your Class is Rider.”
Paracelsus smiled, maintaining a composed expression despite the blood dripping from his mouth. Damn, Heroic Spirits were awesome! That being said…
“Couldn’t you have proved that without punching Paracelsus?”
“Eh, that saved us a lot of time. Besides, his so-called ‘analysis’ was just a bunch of excuses to pin the crime on me.”
“You admit the latter reason was the main one?”
“I do.”
“Can’t you at least pretend you feel bad?!”
“Don’t yell at me.”
Ishtar dramatically covered her ears before continuing, as if my arguing wasn’t her fault.
“As a Rider, I have Class advantage against Caster Gilgamesh, meaning I should deal double damage. Even with Yoichi’s Bow lowering the power of non-Archer Servants, I should still deal at least neutral damage and pierce his heart. But the arrow failing to go all the way to heart equals half damage. Therefore, I am not the culprit.”
“That’s correct, but the fingerprints are still yours. And we already established fingerprint caps and homunculi are out of the question…”
“You’re forgetting a major suspect. Right, Ereshkigal?”
Ishtar suddenly called an unexpected name.
“It seems like you’re sneaking around, hiding yourself, but I think it’s about time you showed your face. Since we’re using the same vessel, we should have the same fingerprints, right?”
A light shone before my eyes a few seconds after Ishtar was done talking, and a girl appeared from it.
Her facial structure was identical to Ishtar’s. The only difference was that she was blond. Without a doubt, that girl, or rather, that goddess was:


Ereshkigal.

Chapter 3

“Ereshkigal? Why are you here?”
I reacted louder than I should have. Ereshkigal’s answer was indifferent.
“I sensed your presence entering the Singularity, and decided to follow you on my own, Ritsuka. I was unconscious for a while upon entering it. You got together with Ishtar while I was passed out, so I decided to keep an eye on you from a distance.”
Ereshkigal flipped her golden hair at the end of her sentence, but immediately started blushing because I wasn’t saying anything.
“It’s not like I spent this whole time stalking you, Ritsuka. I was sensing your presence from my own room. A Servant has the duty to search for dangers that could afflict her Master, you know? So, there’s no special meaning to…”
“No, that’s not what I asked.”
I just didn’t know how to react to her appearing out of nowhere, and talking herself into a panic. Ishtar let out a dramatic sigh, just for show.
“Knowing you, you probably just got a bit too happy about getting your contract with Ritsuka at the end of Netherworld’s Merry Christmas yesterday and followed him around everywhere like a creep, you tsundere stalker goddess.”
“Wh… who are you calling a stalker?”
“Heh, I see you’re not denying the tsundere part.”
“C’mon, I’m not nearly as unnecessarily standoffish as you are!”
“Wh.. when was I ever standoffish?”
“You stuttered. Must be because you know the answer!”
Ah, those two really couldn’t ever get along. And they weren’t even putting up a good fight. I’d seen elementary schoolers come up with better insults than this. I couldn’t say this wasn’t normal for them, but now wasn’t the time or the place for this. While I tried to think of what to say…
“Netherworld’s Merry Christmas…”
Paracelsus whispered the name and shuddered.
“Please don’t remind me of that dreadful name... That event was the worst battle of the year… no, the worst battle of my life… On that Christmas Eve, Chaldea was assaulted by a sudden heat wave and fevers, causing not only the human staff, but also the Servants to collapse everywhere… Master managed to figure out that the cause was an attack from Kur, and successfully eliminated the threat along with the new Santa, Altera. He saved not only Chaldea, but also the soon-to-disappear Ereshkigal, and successfully made a contract with her. A grand finale. A perfect happy ending to all parties involved… Except one!”
Paracelsus stared at the ceiling and shouted.
“What about me? What about Paracelsus? In my need to heal the fevers, I made multiple human experiments on myself. It got to the point where I tried so many different substances that I only made things worse and collapsed from hemoptysis, which led to Altera having to put me in a fridge, remember? No one remembered I was there, so I had to stay in the fridge for hours, until all the recovered staff members went to eat, you know? How could this happen to me, Von Hohenheim Paracelsus? This cold manor keeps those traumatic memories alive in me! I want to leave this very second! I need to!”
“Now I can see why you were intent on pinning the crime on me. Want me to punch you one more time?”
Ishtar was not in her best mood.
Personally, I thought his actions made a lot more sense now.
After listening to Paracelsus’ heartrending shout to the end, Ereshkigal cautiously spoke.
“More importantly, Ritsuka… Err, are you okay?”
“As you can see, I’m doing fine.”
“Yeah, sure, but… It’s cold and, you know.”
Ereshkigal’s face turned scarlet. Ishtar opened her mouth before I could ask what I was supposed to know.
“Stop the wolf in sheep’s clothing act and confess already that you’re not just a stalker, but also a murderer.”
With this one phrase, Paracelsus’ shouting stopped, and the scarlet vanished from Ereshkigal’s face. Ereshkigal crossed her arms and glared at Ishtar.
“My Class is Lancer. If I wanted to commit murder, I’d have done it with a spear, not with a bow. Besides, I don’t even hate Gilgamesh enough to kill him.”
“You used the bow to frame me. Same goes for the motive. And of course, you left the fingerprints on purpose. Because despite us being split into two different goddesses, we share the same vessel. All you needed to do was keep yourself hidden and I’d be framed for the crime. But you didn’t know about Yoichi’s Bow’s trait of depowering non-Archers, causing you to fail to land the neutral damage Lancers are supposed to deal on Casters.”
Ereshkigal didn’t admit or deny it. She squinted her large eyes and started thinking, like a student chosen by the teacher to answer a difficult question. Ishtar rather unfairly assumed she had no possible comeback and glanced at me.
“You know what to do, Ritsuka. Make Ereshkigal confess. Order her to apologize with her head on the floor once she does. And finally, make her hit her toe on the edge of a cabinet. You just need three Command Spells to do all that.”
“How dumb are you? There’s no cabinet here, not to mention Ritsuka wouldn’t waste all his three Command Spells just for that!”
“Ritsuka’s Command Spells recharge in one day, so he can do me this favor!”
Masters in a Holy Grail War received Command Spells powerful enough to compel Servants to kill themselves, but as a price for this power, they could never recharge. The Command Spells Chaldea gave me may not be as powerful, but I could recharge one per day.
Weak as they may be, I still could force Ereshkigal to do the three orders Ishtar listed. But…
“I can’t do that to Ereshkigal.”
The Command Spells were engraved on the back of my right hand. They were already covered by my glove, but I covered them even further with my left hand as I said that. Ishtar furrowed her brows.
“Ereshkigal gets preferential treatment?”
“That’s not it. I just don’t want to go down as the first person in history to order ‘Ereshkigal, stub your toe on a cabinet’!”
“You’d be missing out on a chance to do something unprecedented to all Masters. Then at least make her confess. That’ll solve the case.”
“Still can’t do it.”
“How is that not preferential treatment?”
“I couldn’t do it to you, either. I don’t want to use my Command Spells like that on any Servant.”
Both Ishtar and Ereshkigal blushed when I said that.
“So... someone who looks as bland as you has no right to be acting this cool.”
“Ritsuka, I’m so glad to have contracted you…”
“Th… thank you…?”
Upon receiving a reaction I wouldn’t have imagined from those two, I thanked them on reflex.
“Thank you for telling us how you feel, Master.”
Paracelsus told me… wait, why was he blushing, too?
“Then, do we need to wait until Ereshkigal confesses?”
“You’d be wasting your time. After all, the culprit is you, Ishtar. I can investigate the scene, can’t I, Ritsuka?”
Ereshkigal’s tone was so serious that I could forget all about her red face. I naturally agreed, much to Ishtar’s dissatisfaction. Ereshkigal thanked me with a proper bow, and walked a few laps around the corpse. For a while, the hard clank of her shoes against the marble floor were the only sounds in the hall.
“Look.”
Ereshkigal pointed to the floor, about 5 meters away from Gilgamesh’s corpse. Looking closer, there was a tiny, sunken indentation there. A mark seemingly from someone’s right toe. It was still fresh. The cavity was less deep than the fingertip pointing at it. It was like someone was walking on their tiptoes, putting all of their weight on this small tip.
“Looks like someone stepped here with all their might. Definitely a Servant’s toe, seeing it sank on a marble floor. Can you find a toeprint here, Paracelsus?”
Unlike Ishtar, Ereshkigal was polite to Paracelsus. He naturally agreed with a smile, and spread his silver powder on the toe mark until it overflowed out of its concave space.
“This toeprint should match ours. Lift your toe, Ishtar.”
“Why me? Use your own toe.”
“Because I know that after we got the match, you’d come up with something really stupid, like ‘That’s not my toe, mine is bandaged because I hurt it. It’s a really nasty wound, so I won’t show it to you.’ So I’m nipping that annoyance in the bud.”
“I hate to do as you say, but you do have a point.”
“We’re just trying to solve the case. Please follow Ereshkigal’s instructions, Ishtar.”
“I hate to do as you say, too, Paracelsus.”
“Ishtar, please.”
When I stepped in, Ishtar immediately nodded, frowning.
“If I must…”
Ishtar put her hands under her skirt, and took off her sock. The black cloth slowly descended, exposing her thigh, and then her shin. Her legs were more slender than I thought, and her skin was perfectly clear and gorgeous. Her legs looked firm, and yet soft. She-
“Wh... what are you blushing for?”
Ishtar’s voice snapped me out of it. It seemed like I was captivated for a moment. Unlike earlier, she wasn’t just red in the face, but blushing from head to toe. I hurriedly tried to avert my gaze, meeting Ereshkigal teary eyes.
“Ritsuka… Why, when you have me…”
“Since when are you his property?”
“That’s not it, Ereshkigal. I just got captivated a little. You can’t deny Ishtar looks pretty. It didn’t mean anything.”
“Pretty?! I… Is that how you talk to a goddess?!”
“I look identical to Ishtar, so I’m also pretty?”
“Master, please leave the hall for a couple minutes. I can’t continue this investigation with you unwittingly toying with these lasses’ hearts!”
“Se… seems like I’ll have to.”
I wasn’t trying to toy with anyone, but still, I exited the hall, leaving behind Paracelsus and two completely beet-red goddesses.
I waited five minutes, harshly scolding myself for my inappropriate-but-admiring gaze.
“You can come in, Master.”
Paracelsus called me back to the hall. Ishtar had put her sock back on, and was still blushing a little.
“I finished my appraisal. The print on the floor most definitely belongs to either Ishtar or Ereshkigal.”
“It’s Ishtar’s.”
Like Ishtar, Ereshkigal was still a bit red as she made her claim.
“I always have shoes on, while her Rider summer form is barefoot. So, the print is definitely hers. She stepped hard on the floor to shoot the arrow, causing this part to sink. Then she changed her clothes to hide that evidence.”
“You could very well have taken your shoes off to leave that print.”
“I wouldn’t have the time to take my shoes off in front of Gilgamesh. Besides, I’m…”
In response to Ishtar’s obvious counterargument, Ereshkigal gallantly locked eyes with her.
“…much too well-mannered to walk barefoot.”
I could practically hear a loud bang in my mind as she said those words.
…But no matter how seriously she delivered the line, that was still pretty flimsy evidence to support her innocence, no? I watched Ishtar bite her lip from the sidelines, not knowing what to say.
“That’s true. You’re basically a huge blockhead wearing a dress, you’d never do that.”
For real…?
“That’s right. It’d be out of character for her.”
Paracelsus was also… wait, really?
“Wait, no! You can’t prove someone’s innocence with just manners!”
This was already the third time they’d made me yell. My throat was starting to hurt. At that moment, something felt wrong.
What was it? I had certainly yelled a couple of times, but my throat shouldn’t be in this state just from that, right…? I felt like I was missing something I was normally supposed to crave…?
Before I had any time to question the matter more deeply, Ishtar and Paracelsus shook their heads in unison.
“Ereshkigal wouldn’t.”
“The idea of her taking her shoes off in an unknown mansion is absurd.”
If the two of them said so, I suppose we could go with that… but still…
“Then that means the toeprint belongs to Ishtar, right?”
“Don’t be stupid. Taking into consideration Class advantage and Yoichi’s Bow’s properties, an arrow shot by me would have pierced his heart. The arrow hit him with reduced power, meaning I’m not the culprit. We went over this already.”
We certainly did. If I accused Ishtar under these conditions, the mystery writers wouldn’t accept this reasoning.
“Yeah, the pieces don’t fit under these conditions- Assuming Ishtar was the only one to change Classes.”
Ereshkigal spoke slowly, carefully choosing her words. Paracelsus gulped, but I couldn’t tell why. I tilted my head, and so did Ishtar.
Ereshkigal continued, without changing her tone.
“Like Ishtar, Gilgamesh’s Saint Graph also went unstable upon entering this Singularity, and changed from Caster to Archer. Ishtar, being a Rider, would deal neutral damage to an Archer. But the murder weapon was Yoichi’s Bow, which lowers the power of non-Archer users, causing the arrow to fail to reach the heart.”
“You don’t even need to take a close look to tell he’s in Caster form.”
Ishtar’s expression showed she found the argument stupid, but Ereshkigal didn’t back down.
“He changed clothes to hide the fact his Class changed, just like you did. He just happened to have his Caster outfit nearby as an option. He threw the golden armor he wears as an Archer into the darkness outside the mansion and it turned to nothing. Though now that Gilgamesh is dead, we have no way to confirm his class.”
“Your reasoning is pointless, if you can’t prove Gilgamesh was an Archer.”
“It’s still a theory that can consistently explain everything. You can’t debunk my reasoning if you can’t prove Gilgamesh was a Caster.”
Ereshkigal was right. But those words could come back to bite her if we proved Gilgamesh was a Caster.
Could I indict either Ishtar or Ereshkigal as the culprit? This was getting more complicated than I expected.

On one hand, I wish Amane could just write his full Servant sheet for Nasu no Yoichi, as he's clearly dying to do, so it could clear all the effects of his NP and why it has those instead of keeping this silly game of "it can also do that", but on the other hand, I fear the profile would get a whole paragraph about how sexy Yoichi's feet are.

[Misaya]

“I can see that. Do you remember my first warning? Rule number 2:
. But before that, we’ll make you tell us all your motives. Yan Qing, break her limbs.”
“’Kay.”

Is there some missing part when she talks about rule number 2?

[Comun]

Chapter 1:

“We follow a principle of never rejecting those who come to us, but… do you know the rules of our family? We discard the useless. We kill the traitors. We kill the smokers even harder. Because there is nothing in the world I hate more than tobacco. Say your names and skills, one by one.”

[RCM9698]

Starting now with case 3: the writer's poorly disguised fetish.

That's as accurate a description as I've ever seen. I can't fault his taste though.

[Comun]

If you think this case was missing toilet humor, don't worry, this chapter is just for you.

Chapter 4

“Is that the best you can come up with? I guess that’s what an eternity in the netherworld does to your brain.”

Ishtar sighed in a taunting manner, just as I feared she would.


“Just you wait. I’ll prove your reasoning is off track.”


“You’re in denial that you lost. Unless you can make Gilgamesh stop being dead, there’s no way to prove his Class changed, but-“


“What were you doing when you were sneaking around, before I called you?”


Ereshkigal’s red eyes trembled the moment Ishtar interjected with that question.


“J… Just patrolling the area. I didn’t have any goal in mind, though. I was just curious about the Singularity.”


She was clearly hiding something. Ishtar sighed once again and continued.


“You had a goal. You were looking for something, weren’t you? The toilet.”


Oh, that made sense.


Servants take their Master’s magical energy as nutrition, so unless something is not normal, they have no need to eat. Naturally, they have no need to defecate, either. But Pseudo-Servants use human bodies, so they require a minimum level of feeding. And, of course, they need what Ereshkigal was looking for as well.


Ereshkigal blushed down to her neck. She had no reason to, in my opinion.


“It… it’s not what you’re thinking, Ritsuka. Don’t look at me like that.”


“It’s a natural biological process. You don’t need to feel embarrassed about it.”


“That’s not what I meant. I was, uh…”


“You wanted a toilet for Ritsuka, didn’t you?”


For me?


Ishtar’s words were unexpected, but Ereshkigal answered with a stiff nod.


“You know how cold this Singularity is… Humans spend more time on the toilet when it’s cold, right? So, with that in mind… on the off chance Ritsuka needed…”


Oh. When she first showed up, she said “It’s cold and, you know…” Was she talking about the lack of a toilet back then? Seeing Ereshkigal being so fidgety made me smile without meaning to.


“Thank you, Ereshkigal. But I can do it anywhere if I really need to. That’s how I’ve been doing in the previous Singularities.”


“I can’t allow my Master to do that!”


“But no matter how hard you looked, there was no toilet to be found.”


Ishtar said triumphantly and Ereshkigal nodded, looking frustrated.


“None. There were some bathrooms, but none of them had water. With that and the fridge in the kitchen being empty, I’d say this is not the best Singularity to live in.”


“Of course it isn’t.”


Ishtar had a smug grin.


“After all, there’s no water in this Singularity.”


“What’s the point in bringing that up now?”


Ishtar reacted to my doubt with surprise.


“I told you as much when we first met, did you forget? I said ‘I wish I could’ve washed it before I wore it, but it doesn’t look like I can’.”


She did say that. Did that mean…?


“You couldn’t wash it because there’s no water?”


“Why else?”


Ishtar’s face practically screamed You couldn’t tell?


“A mystery novel hyper-focused on its puzzle has no need for scenes about eating or pooping. That’s what the mystery writers thought. Therefore, the liquid water we require for our eating and pooping needs doesn’t exist. Of course, this doesn’t apply to the water particles that compose the human body. Ritsuka, did you ever get hungry or need to use the bathroom since you got here?”


“Now that you mention it, I didn’t.”


I finally figured out exactly what had felt off the third time that I yelled. Despite forcing my throat to yell so many times, I didn’t feel thirsty like I normally would.


Paracelsus shook his head firmly.


“Why would they do this when slipping poison into someone’s dinner is such a common trope in murder mysteries? And even without considering that, consumption and excretion are fundamental human activities. How can they deem that unnecessary? It’s because of views like this that the mystery novelists who created this Singularity can’t write anything decent.”


He might not be doing it on purpose, but he was punching a hole in the writers’ hearts. Frightening is the alchemist who reached the level of Heroic Spirit!


“So we don’t have to worry about Ritsuka needing to relieve himself? Good!”


Ereshkigal flashed her brightest smile yet. She must have been very concerned about this issue. But then she quickly tilted her head.


“How does the lack of water have anything to do with proving my reasoning wrong?”


“You don’t know? Archer Gilgamesh’s hair is all swept back. Without water, he couldn’t wash away the gel to get his hair down, could he? But Gilgamesh’s corpse has his hair down, and that confirms his Class is Caster.”


I heard Ereshkigal and Gilgamesh gasp in unison… Wait, what?


“Archer Gilgamesh has his hair down on his 3rd Ascension. But, in this Singularity, all Servants are level 1, so that’s off the table. Meaning your reasoning is faulty, Ereshkigal.”


“Y…You have a point.”


“She does indeed, Ereshkigal.”


“Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!”


I might’ve overdone it with the “wait”s.


“Gilgamesh uses gel to get his hair like that?!”


“How’d you get that hairstyle without gel?”


Ishtar asked me like I was supposed to know.


“I thought he used some kind of magic power to make his hair defy gravity, like the aliens collecting the wish-granting balls from dragons do when they power up.”


“Don’t compare Servants to aliens. Think about it for just one second. Keeping that sort of magic active 24/7 would be a huge waste of magical energy.”


“I guess…”


The Hero King in front of a golden mirror, with one hand covered in gel, sweeping his hair back. No, I couldn’t imagine it. I didn’t want to imagine it!


But, either way, we confirmed that the dead Gilgamesh here was a Caster.


“As I explained before, if I, a Rider, attacked Gilgamesh, a Caster, with Yoichi’s Bow, my Class advantage would be neutralized by the bow’s ability. But the arrow’s hit was too weak for that, so I’m not the culprit.”


“Bu… but your toeprint is there on the floor, did you forget? There’s no doubt you shot the arrow, Ishtar!”


Someone as serious and uptight as Ereshkigal couldn’t handle unpredictable circumstances too well. She was so nervous that I was starting to feel sorry for her. Ishtar raised her chin to literally look down on her in her current state.


“I know you can possess my body. You’ve done this before to get close to Ritsuka, haven’t you? Just remembering you were using my body behind my back makes me nauseous.”


I had a flashback to the scene. Ereshkigal controlling Ishtar’s asleep, unconscious body to approach me- I had seen it happen many times throughout the seventh Singularity.


“That was just because I couldn’t leave the netherworld at that time, and was interested in Ritsu- I mean, I was doing what I had to do to keep Ritsuka under surveillance. I wouldn’t possess your dirty body without need!”


“Here’s a need for you: you needed to kill Gilgamesh and frame me for it. If you were possessing me, my Class would have changed from Rider to Lancer. That would have dealt neutral damage to the Caster Gilgamesh. That’s where Yoichi’s Bow’s traits kicked in, reducing the damage. That seals the deal.”


My head was spinning fast. Did it really seal the deal, as Ishtar claimed? Ereshkigal lowered her head and was biting her lips. She visibly needed a hug. Paracelsus began to speak to Ishtar. Did he notice any contradiction?


“The choice of Yoichi’s Bow as the murder weapon means Ereshkigal was assuming your Class was Archer, correct? Would your Class really change according to who is in control of the body? All she was doing was manipulating a body, nothing more.”


I see. Since the body was still Ishtar’s even with Ereshkigal’s consciousness in it, her Class would stay Rider. Ishtar’s logic was faulty. But Ishtar’s confident smile didn’t crumble.


“And that’s how Ereshkigal would have wanted it. But thanks to a careless sneeze, she fully surfaced in me, changing her Class without noticing.”


I remembered that as well. One time, when Ereshkigal was approaching me as Ishtar, she sneezed, and at that moment, her appearance fully changed into Ereshkigal’s (and she took a good while to realize it). If even her appearance changed, it was safe to assume that Ereshkigal’s Saint Graph would also surface in full, and her Class would logically change to Lancer in that case. There weren’t any holes in Ishtar’s logic.


“That confirms it. The culprit is Ereshkigal.”


Ishtar placed both hands on her hips and laughed. In contrast, Ereshkigal still had her head lowered, biting her lips. The two goddesses really were complete opposites, despite the same face. One was a gremlin and the other was a square. And the person hosting the two of them could have been both at the same time.


“Waste no time, Ritsuka. Indict Ereshkigal.”


“You won’t need to, Ritsuka.”


Ereshkigal’s lips slowly strung her words together. Displeasure flashed on Ishtar’s face.


“You think a last-ditch effort will accomplish anything at this point?”


“It’s not a last-ditch effort. I found a mistake in your reasoning. Thanks to you, Paracelsus. You have my gratitude.”


Ereshkigal gave Paracelsus a pretty smile, then turned to Ishtar with a sharp glare.


“The toeprint on the floor proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that the moment the body left its spirit form, it belonged to you, regardless of whose consciousness was in it, right? If my Saint Graph had fully surfaced, then your clothes would have changed into mine.”


“Yeah, I guess so.”


“Meaning the sneeze that changed my Class only could have happened after that.”


“Yeah. So what?”


Ishtar looked pressured, as though the anxiety were slowly getting to her. And then Ereshkigal declared—


“If I had sneezed after I left my spirit form, I’m sure Gilgamesh would have heard it.”


Ah.


“We’re talking about the Hero King. If he heard a sneeze behind him, there’s no way he wouldn’t turn around. And if he did, he’d naturally dodge the arrow. The arrow wouldn’t have dealt reduced damage because it wouldn’t have even hit him, to begin with. Meaning your reasoning doesn’t fit. Any counter-arguments?”


Ishtar was going to say something, but she stopped, averted her gaze, and started to bite her lips.


“Not for this theory…”


With this, the idea that Ereshkigal possessed Ishtar’s body was also proven wrong. So what came next?


Paracelsus must have noted my confusion, as he began to write down all the clues and topics so far:

• Judging from the fingerprints on the bow, Gilgamesh’s killer is either Ishtar or Ereshkigal.
• Gilgamesh’s Class is confirmed to be Caster.
• Judging from the toeprint on the floor, and from how Gilgamesh would have noticed Ereshkigal if she had sneezed, it’s confirmed that the arrow was shot by Ishtar.
• Ishtar (Rider) couldn’t possibly have dealt as low of damage to Gilgamesh (Caster) as the damage indicated by how far the arrow pierced.

“All evidence points to either Ishtar or Ereshkigal being the culprit, and yet the crime seems impossible for either of them.”


“But we know for sure one of them did it, right?”


That was all I could say at this point. Without responding to me, Ishtar and Ereshkigal faced each other, nodded, and said in unison:


“I figured it out.”

[Rafflesiac]

I will ignore this statement of hair gel and maintain my headcanon that Gil uses magical energy to spike his do.

inb4 astarte is the killer

[Comun]

Yeah, the constant need for power to keep the hair up is a good way to justify the basement orphans as well.

[Comun]

Ishtar and Ereshkigal's Case Files chapter 5

“I knew it wasn’t you, Ereshkigal.”

“I knew it wasn’t you, Ishtar.”


The two goddesses nodded to each other, but neither I nor Paracelsus had any idea why. Ishtar was the one who spoke to dispel our confusion.


“I noticed one thing when I checked Yoichi’s Bow’s string. I wasn’t sure what it meant back then, but now that Ereshkigal brought up her sneezing, I figured it out. This bow’s string is very loud. Like with the sneeze, it’d be unnatural for Gilgamesh not to notice it. A Servant of his level could easily dodge after hearing the noise.”


Ereshkigal continued her sister’s line of thought.


“One thing that caught my attention was that he didn’t leave any dying message despite his death not being instant. He didn’t even try. In fact, he didn’t move a single muscle after being shot. All of his blood is neatly pooled around his body with no lines of blood indicating movement. The puddle isn’t even disarrayed from flailing.”


“And what can we gather from that?”


Paracelsus asked, as if he was my spokesman, while their unexpected deduction left me hesitant to talk. Ishtar signaled with her eyes for Ereshkigal to answer.


“Here’s our conclusion: Gilgamesh was killed while unable to move.”


“One more thing.”


Before I could assess the situation in my head, Ishtar removed her loafers, and fit her toe, still covered by her high sock, in the sunken cavity on the floor. She prepared to jump back but stopped her movement before doing so.


“If were to jump backward with all my might from this position, all my body’s weight would balance on the tip of this toe. That’s how this part sunk. Shooting an arrow while jumping backward naturally lowers its power. That why my attack did low damage.”


“That means Ishtar intentionally tried to lower her damage when she attacked Gilgamesh.”


“Did I? I don’t remember doing that.”


“Your theory contains three impossible elements.”


Looking extremely confused, Paracelsus lifted three of the fingers on his right hand.


“One: Gilgamesh was unable to move. Two: Ishtar jumped backward to lower her attack’s damage despite intending to kill Gilgamesh. Three: Ishtar doesn’t remember doing this. You provided no explanation for any of those three elements. I believe your reasoning must be wrong.”


Ishtar laughed before I could agree.


“As long as there isn’t a fourth thing we can’t explain, that’s not a problem.”


Ereshkigal chimed in.


“Yes. With only three, it’s all okay.”


“The three impossibilities Paracelsus pointed out can be made possible by—”


“—this.”


The two goddesses pointed straight to the back of my right hand. More specifically, they pointed to my Command Spells.


“The culprit is Fujimaru Ritsuka.”


I couldn’t tell if the voice accusing me was Ishtar’s or Ereshkigal’s.






Ereshkigal said:


“Ritsuka used a Command Spell to prevent Gilgamesh’s movements. That was the first seal.”


Ishtar said:


“After that, he made me shoot the bow. That was the second seal. But I quickly jumped backward in an attempt to save Gilgamesh. It kinda worked because Chaldea’s Command Spells aren’t all that compelling. Seems like Gilgamesh was too much of a weakling to ignore the order, but I could.”


Ereshkigal said:


“After Gilgamesh was shot, Ritsuka erased Ishtar’s memories. That was the third seal. All he had to do next was drop Ishtar somewhere else. This explains the whole crime scene and solves all three impossibilities Paracelsus raised.”


“That does sound plausible, but this raises one more question…”


Seeing that I still wasn’t opening my mouth, Paracelsus said:


“Ishtar, since you became a Rider, you must have been wearing your swimsuit. Since Master could tell in one glance that your Class wasn’t Archer, he wouldn’t have made you use Yoichi’s Bow.”


“Ritsuka seeing me in my swimsuit wouldn’t make a difference. He didn’t care enough to notice that my Class changed.”


“A Servant’s Master would never be so unconcerned.”


“Looks like all your focus on analysis has prevented you from noticing: this Ritsuka isn’t really Ritsuka.”


She figured out that much?!


I clenched my teeth as I glared at Ishtar.


“You’re a homunculus made to copy Ritsuka’s memories, Command Spells, and even magic circuits. But despite your memories, you have none of his bonds with me. You didn’t notice my Class changed to Rider until I mentioned it. I imagine you were built by the maker of all the homunculi we defeated the other day.”


I opened my mouth but couldn’t produce any decent counterargument. Ishtar kept laying the pressure.


“Something always felt weird, since the beginning. When I first called out to you here in this mansion, you immediately said ‘Ishtar’. You didn’t even consider the possibility of it being Ereshkigal despite us having the exact same voice.”


“That’s because…”


Ereshkigal continued while I tried to think of a response.


“You didn’t know I was now summonable to Chaldea. I contracted Ritsuka just last night, on Christmas Eve. That’s why you were so surprised when I appeared.”


“No…”


“The motive was revenge against me. You discovered this Singularity and found it exploitable. So you dragged me here, along with Paracelsus, who was brought to provide analysis of the murder. Ereshkigal coming along and my Class changing wasn’t part of the plan.”


“Evidence… That’s it, you don’t have any evidence. You two goddesses are imagining this entire thing!”


Once I finally came up with a counterargument, the words just kept flooding in.


“You’re completely different goddesses to me, so I could recognize Ishtar just by her voice. My surprise upon seeing Ereshkigal wasn’t because I didn’t know she was summonable. I was just rendered speechless by how beautiful she was!”


Alright, I think that should fool them! Those goddesses were just a pair of tsundere! Pulling those moves should be enough to make them go all red and apologize for having doubted me!


But Ishtar heartlessly pointed to my glove, putting a damper on my prospects of victory.


“Let me check if you have any Command Spells under there.”


“…!”


The flood of words stopped, and I began to shiver. Ereshkigal also pointed at my glove with accusation in her eyes.


“If our reasoning is correct, you shouldn’t have any Command Spells.”


“Our… ‘Our’, huh… You’re calling it ‘our’ reasoning… our, our…heh…huhuhu…”


For whatever reason, I started laughing. In a synchronized movement, the two puzzled goddesses raise their eyebrows. When I saw that, I finally understood why I’d suddenly had the urge to laugh.


“Where did this all this talk about ‘our reasoning’ come from? Don’t give me that! Since when do you two share anything?”


Yelling, I removed my right glove and flung it on the marble floor. It made such a pathetic noise when it landed.


Despite feeling needlessly annoyed by the two goddesses, I still showed them the back of my hand.


It didn’t have a single Command Spell. Of course it didn’t. After all, I had used all of them earlier exactly the way they described.


“I’m impressed you two can even stand to share the credit for this theory, with how much you hate each other. Every time you meet, you fight over the most pointless things. Why are you two working as a team?”


I asked with bloodshot eyes, and the goddesses answered me with a sigh.


“You’re absolutely right; we do loathe each other. I wish I never had to look at this spineless, sullen wimp’s face again. You have no idea how furious I was when I learned Ritsuka had contracted her.”


“Same here. I pity Ritsuka for having contracted the goddess who endangers the world once every year with her big screw-ups. If she disappeared, I’d say good riddance.”


“But—”


“However—”


The two took a step closer to me.


Their eyes were filled with a blinding light. Their grand sublimeness forced me to reflexively take a step back. The goddesses pointed at me and spoke in unison.


“ “I know that no matter how unpleasant Gilgamesh might be, this goddess wouldn’t shoot anyone from behind!” ”


What the hell was with that line… Wait, did that mean…


“You knew from the start that the other wasn’t the culprit…?”


“So that was why you two kept giving each other chances to prove that they weren’t the culprit. It was all so you could provide your theories while you searched for clues that would lead you to the real culprit.”


“Thanks for the analysis, Paracelsus. I’m glad you got pulled into this Singularity.”


I tried my best to force a smile, but I couldn’t lift my lips.


-


The three Servants and Gilgamesh left. I was all alone in the mansion. The darkness outside cracked and shattered. The Singularity was disappearing.


The goddesses insisted that I should follow them to Chaldea to be punished, but that was impossible. Just as Paracelsus explained, once the culprit was accused by reasoning good enough to satisfy the mystery novelists, they’d be assimilated into the Singularity and unable to leave it. Not to mention that, being a homunculus, I didn’t have much time left to live anyway. That was the whole reason why I’d been able to carry out such a dramatic revenge plot.


I wanted revenge against Ishtar and her Master, Fujimaru Ritsuka.


Just like the goddess guessed, I was made by the creator of all the many homunculi she defeated. He couldn’t cope with all the homunculi he birthed and raised being destroyed left and right, so he used his last remaining strength to give life to a homunculus of Fujimaru Ritsuka—me.


My creator committed suicide immediately afterward.


He was a piece of trash who wouldn’t think twice before performing immoral experiments on human beings, so I can’t pity him. Even then, I still followed my creator’s last wish. I existed to get revenge against Fujimaru and Ishtar.


Because I couldn’t find any other reason for me to live.


When I discovered this Singularity, I thought it was my chance. Even Yoichi’s Bow was here, a weapon with the ideal traits.


As his homunculus, I had all of Fujimaru’s memories. According to those, he had a deep bond with Ishtar. I thought that if I could make Ishtar assimilate into this Singularity and erase her, that’d suffice as revenge against both of them.


I pulled Gilgamesh and Paracelsus into the Singularity, the former as the victim and the latter as the analyst. I avoided choosing Holmes, for obvious reasons. The great detective would have seen through everything the moment he took one look at the crime scene.


I thought that leaving Ishtar’s fingerprints on the murder weapon was all I needed for her to automatically be accused of being the culprit. That part of the plan went perfectly.


Still, I’d never have guessed that her Class had changed to Rider.


I couldn’t understand why her attack on Gilgamesh did so little damage.


When Ishtar said “A decent Master would have noticed my Class changed,” the best reply I could come up with was, “How was I supposed to?”


Ereshkigal becoming summonable on Christmas Eve was another thing I never expected. Much less that the klutz would mistake my signal for the real Fujimaru and enter the Singularity. If it weren’t for Paracelsus’ deranged spiel about the Netherworld’s Merry Christmas, I’d have said something I shouldn’t.


Well, I didn’t play my own part perfectly, either.


I lost track of myself, captivated by the amazingly gracious view of Ishtar taking her socks off. How deplorable did I have to be, to feel like that for the target of my revenge? I left the hall and harshly scolded myself for my inappropriate-but-admiring gaze. I had been in and out of this Singularity so many times to set up my preparations, but my mind was so fixed on revenge that I failed to notice there was no water here. This last one really screwed me over.


But my biggest miscalculation was…


“Who would have thought Ishtar and Ereshkigal’s bonds were this deep?”


Picturing the faces of the two goddesses naturally brought a smile to my own. Meanwhile, the cracks across the darkness around me kept spreading. The light peeking through those cracks filled the place unti—

Chapter 6

Human Order Security Organization Chaldea. Late night.

Four Servants suddenly appeared in the cold, metallic hallways of the research facility. They were Ishtar, Ereshkigal, Paracelsus, and Gilgamesh, who returned from the Singularity.


Ishtar wore her usual outfit, seemingly having returned to the Archer Class.


Gilgamesh was crossing his arms so proudly, you wouldn’t believe he was dead just a few minutes ago. Even then, Paracelsus still gave him words of sympathy.


“My condolences for your unneeded involvement in this revenge drama.”


Gilgamesh tilted his head and made a face that practically said I have no idea what this guy is talking about. And after staying like that for a while:


“Are you perhaps trying to console me about my death?”


“I am.”


“I see. That is as far as a mere alchemist’s understanding goes. I would never allow such carelessness to make me into a murder victim for whatever this revenge drama you speak of is.”


“No one’s falling for your tough guy act.”


Ishtar smirked at Gilgamesh.


“We all know you were helpless against Fake Ritsuka’s Command Spells. You’re even weaker than I thought, honestly. I could resist the Command Spell enough to jump backward in an attempt to save your despicable life. But you? You couldn’t do a thing.”


“You truly are the worst, densest of all goddesses.”


Gilgamesh gave her a lifeless stare as if he were staring at vermin.


“I could easily have repelled a Command Spell of that level. However, I considered the possibility of you two being accused of murder amusing, and let myself die on purpose. After all, I knew I would be revived regardless of who was indicted.”


“You two?”


Ereshkigal gasped.


“Are you implying that you noticed I was in that Singularity?”


“Undoubtedly. Who do you take me for?”


“Then, why…? I treated you so warmly in the netherworld when you died of overwork…”


“There is no such a thing as treating a king too warmly. You did not seem to understand that, so I gave you this opportunity to gather some more experience as a goddess. I am sure being a suspect was a fresh and educational experience. You may offer me your greatest level of gratitude.”


Ishtar and Ereshkigal turned away from him, flabbergasted. Gilgamesh then spoke to Paracelsus.


“That battle of reasoning between the worst goddesses must have been remarkably comical. Write down the details of this event in a book, without missing a word, and show me. Get it done before the audit, as all Servants will have to leave.”


“I wouldn’t have more than a few hours.”


“I gave you the order because I know you can complete it. Be proud of my appraisal, alchemist.”


Gilgamesh left them behind as he walked through the hallway, laughing loudly. The two goddesses watched his back fade away in the distance, speechless. After a while, they were finally able to lift their gazes.


And then, Ishtar readied her Maanna at his back, while Ereshkigal readied her Meslamtaea.


“Weren’t you two just saying the other would never attack him from behind?”


Ignoring Paracelsus’ rational comment, the two goddesses rushed to attack Gilgamesh. And at that very instant:


“Hey, what a surprise. I came over here because I heard voices, but I wouldn’t have guessed it was you guys. I thought you had already left.”


They heard a voice behind them. A voice like sunlight. Ishtar and Ereshkigal turned back at the same time. Seeing their faces, Paracelsus thought.


(They’re completely different people when in front of our real Master.)

Ryou Amane's afterword

I just wanted to write both Ishtar and Ereshkigal! To hide my ulterior motives, I gave Mr. Oota the respectable excuse that I was planning a mystery where two people had the same fingerprints, made that into my plot idea, and twisted my logic the best way I could to make Ishtar wearing a Mystic Code and taking her socks off a necessary part of the novel.

[Misaya]

Thanks Comun. This Case File is very interesting with unexpected reference (Dragon Ball) and can see how these sisters care and know about each other. The author totally a simp while trying to hide it clumsiy.

[Rafflesiac]

​Well that was amusing.