Chapter 7: For Want of…
#25-Death and defeat are not the same. Neither are victory and life.
“Why do you always buy those flowers?”
Father nestles the bouquet of flowers into his arm before looking at me. Every few weeks, he joins me on my shopping trip to pick up the same flowers to place around the church.
A smile tugs at his lips but remains only a ghost.
“I have a proposal,” he turns and begins walking away, leaving me to trail after him. “If you are unable to discover the answer for yourself, then I will tell you. All you must do is admit you are incapable of doing so.”
Another test. I should expect this by now, but I still know I will face it. The answer will not come easily, but I would pass this test as well. I will discover the meaning behind those white flowers.
I’m still searching.
**********
“It’s time.”
I traced a finger along the pendant hanging from my neck. Mana thrummed at my touch, swirling within its small container. I wrapped it close to my palm, looking at Saber. A clear face and a simple nod were all the confirmation I was given.
I felt the connection between me and Saber, a long line like a vein pulsing continuously with mana. The power within the pendant beat in tandem, as though it knew where it would flow. I pulled the energy out, leading it to the link and fusing them together. The link bulged and constricted along its length as the influx of power traveled through it. Saber’s body flinched as mana poured into her, adjusting to the new power.
“How do you feel?” I asked as she relaxed once more.
“I feel,” she looked down, clenching and unclenching her hand. “Prepared.”
I checked the pendant once more. The power was barely being syphoned. I wondered how long that would last. A new idea crossed my mind, and I tentatively pulled another stream from the source and linked it to myself, being certain to close off the connection before it flowed within.
I hummed for a second before letting it go, the power easily returning to the pendant. Not now.
I raised my eyes up to the peak of the stairs. The moon was slowly moving to hang over the temple, casting shadows from trees over the stone path leading up. It would likely reach its zenith before we were done. I wondered if I’d see it.
Rin would kick my ass if she heard that last thought.
“Then,” I took the first step up. “Let’s go.”
No more words passed between us until we reached the top, an unexpected surprise awaiting our arrival.
A familiar figure materialized as we approached, Assassin taking form at the top of the steps.
“I’m glad you made it here safely, Saber,” Assassin drew the absurd blade from his back. “To be frank with you, I feared you would be too late.”
“Assassin?” I didn’t bother hiding my surprise. “I was certain you’d already been killed.”
“By that pompous beacon and the priest?”
He smiled as he shook his head.
“My master may be dead, but I saw no reason to die avenging her. I have only one thing I seek in this war.”
He pointed his blade down toward us.
“You promised to show me everything you have. Perhaps it is foolish, but that is my wish. Would you do me the honor of granting it?”
I saw the determined look in Saber’s eyes and the stance she’d already begun taking and spent no more time waiting. I strode forward, stopping when Assassin directed his blade at me.
“You plan to abandon your Servant to face me?” his words might have sounded disdainful rather than a genuine question if they came from another person.
“I don’t have time to watch her win,” I began moving up once more. “Besides, if you kill me, you won’t have your fight.”
“True enough,” he lowered his katana as I drew closer. “However, I can’t very well have you dying before we are finished, and the man waiting within reeks of blood.”
“I’m well aware,” and the fact an Assassin was warning me gave me no comfort.
“Is that so?” he asked as I walked past.
I didn’t respond as I passed through the gate.
It had been a long time since I’d last entered the temple grounds, though nothing seemed to have changed in that time. The moon cast streams of light over the courtyard spanning the distance to the temple. A wide stone path lay before me, cutting through the middle of the expanse of dirt and leading to the main temple. Before the temple stood a canopy that rose and covered a large censer, devoid of the incense that usually burned within. My father stood there, staring idly into the ceremonial vessel.
“Are you aware of the reason they burn incense?”
I continued forward as he spoke, forcing my steps to be metered and calm.
“Or perhaps the reason some partake in ritual sacrifice or communion? The answer to all is the same.”
I stopped as he turned to face me, his arms folded behind his back. Even across the space between us, I could see a familiar discerning look as he focused on me.
“They wish to draw closer to God,” he took slow, measured steps down the stairs to the courtyard, the movements as natural as breathing for him. “Regardless of religion, belief, or name, they all seek the same thing. It is within every man to seek a path toward the divine. To discover for what reason they were placed in this world. Even those who claim there is no meaning have created something divine from that belief.”
“To believe in nothing is still to believe,” I said, remembering him saying something similar some time ago.
“And to believe is to reach beyond oneself,” his steps made no sounds as he walked forward. “Even if you grasp at nothing.”
He stopped four meters away as the moon continued sluggishly climbing to its peak, illuminating the clear night easily.
“The instant you showed me your command seals, I knew it would come to this.”
“I wish I could say the same.”
“You never wished for much,” a smile that might have seemed nostalgic on another’s face slid onto his lips. “Only to become better than you were.”
“There was nothing else I wanted.”
Father’s short laugh echoed in the empty courtyard.
“Then, it is to my detriment as a parent that I could not show you otherwise.”
He half turned his body to gaze back at the temple, but I was under no illusion that I didn’t have his attention.
“Soon, something I have longed for will finally come to pass. To have my doubts eased, and all of my questions answered.”
He faced me once again.
“Only you remain between me and that goal.”
“So, you truly would kill me for a chance to use the Grail?”
There was no surprise in my voice. Father wasn’t one who chose to do things without being willing to see them through, even if it meant killing his own family.
“You seem to misunderstand,” he gave a small shake of his head. “But it does not matter. I will only say that, while I anticipated this outcome, I did not seek to make it reality. A father is meant to guide his son, and I failed to do so. The fault is mine.”
I was momentarily surprised. A hint of genuine disappointment had crept into his final words, though whether it was to himself or me was unclear.
“However, there is nothing for it,” his arms moved to his sides, and the smile thinned to a line. “This will be my final lesson to you, my son. I am sorry I can teach you no more.”
His dispassionate tone hid if his words were true, something I’d grown used to over the decade. However, despite that, my next words were no lie.
“So am I.”
While I was still irritated by the loss of my jacket, I would have ended up removing it here. The garment would’ve only given him another grip to use against me. Case in point: the cassock Father always wore was promptly tossed to the side, leaving only his dark vestments.
I began projecting keys but stopped myself. If there was ever a time to use them, it was now. I saw the married blades clearly in my mind, and I brought those images forth into the world, the curved pommels fitting into my grip.
Those were the Archer’s swords,” Father tilted his head to the side slightly. “How interesting.”
I rushed forward, low to the ground with the swords spread from my sides. Even as I swung the blades, Father was already moving. He seemed to flow around the strikes, backing away as I pushed forward. As one blade passed, he reached out and pulled on the blade, throwing me off balance. His hand came down in that moment, dealing a crushing blow to my arm before grabbing my shirt and throwing me behind him.
The pain in my arm was joined by my back as I crashed through one of the columns supporting the canopy. I tumbled briefly before recovering my footing just in time to block the incoming keys. I gritted my teeth as the arm he’d bashed protested blocking one of the keys. It wasn’t broken, but I hoped it healed quickly.
Father had closed the distance, and I moved to evade his blow. His elbow met my face as I moved, his other fist spearing my sternum. I forced myself to act, Kanshou flipping to a reverse-grip before stabbing down into his arm. I drove it deeper as he pulled away, spinning back as keys filled his hands and whipped out toward me. I dodged to the side, sending Bakuya spinning at his retreating form.
Father rotated his body, the sword whirling past. He pulled the black sword from his crimson sleeve, watching the blood run over the turtle shell pattern. A smile crossed his lips.
He was about to throw the weapon back when his body shook from an impact. A white sword jutted from his right shoulder. I dismissed the swords as I charged, projecting new ones in my hands before I reached him.
He recovered quickly, keys extending in his hands to meet my blades. He blocked a few strikes, but Black Keys weren’t meant to face blades smaller than themselves, nor was Father ever one to use them as such. I slipped between his defenses, earning two more gashes on his right arm and side. He suddenly backpedaled, launching the keys at me before rushing in behind them.
I sent the married swords spinning toward him, taking out three keys before grabbing the fourth with a reinforced hand. The edge threatened to cut into me as my hand skidded up its length before catching on the handle. I whirled it in my grip, righting it only to send it flying down between Father’s approaching legs.
He froze in front of me, his shadow seeming to curl where the key and ground met. I drove my fist into his chest, feeling bone crack under the strike, and flashed behind him, retrieving and throwing the key into his back.
The blade sunk down to the handle, and both Kanshou and Bakuya spun past me on either side toward him. He quickly faced me, the Black Key protruding out his front, and knocked the blades out of their rotations with a flick of his hands, crossing his arms to catch the blades. In an instant, he was in front of me, and the swords bit into my chest as he slashed them, the force of the strikes sending me skidding to the temple gate.
A rash stung on my arms as I rolled myself away, the mirrored blades impaling the ground where I had landed seconds ago. I pushed myself up to find Father touching the side of the key in his chest, the weapon dissipating to let the handle fall to the ground.
“You gained a new tool, but you remain predictable.”
Even as red spread out from the center of his vestments, he still spoke in that casual, monotone manner I’d become familiar with.
“Perhaps this is simply your limit. As your teacher, I find that disappointing.”
I scooped up the blades quickly, but Father was on top of me, his fist already drawn back to deliver another strike. He danced back, narrowly avoiding a golden sword sweeping in from the side.
Saber stood before me, sword brightly shining in all its glory. She chased after Father, her weapon becoming almost a ray of light with the speed of the attacks. He barely evaded them, seeming to move before the attacks even began, but still nearly being hit.
“Saber!” I projected a few keys around me and sent them flying towards them, my Servant moving as they passed to find their way into my father. “Go to the Grail now! Without Assassin, it’s now operational! If Archer decides to use it without his master, this will be for nothing!”
She stared momentarily before nodding, turning to jump onto the temple roof and out of sight.
“While you are correct,” Father pulled the shallowly pierced keys from his body, leaving more dots of red. “I cannot help but notice you failed to consider that you may die before she can defeat Archer.”
“Why would I consider an impossibility?” I readied myself once more.
His short laugh echoed against the far-spread walls.
“Then perhaps I am the one who cannot consider it.”
I projected and launched more keys while I sprinted forward, moonlight glancing off the steel as I slashed the swords. He picked one out of the air and evaded the others, meeting my first strikes with the weapon. He lashed his free hand at my arm, the other driving the key into my shoulder in the opening he created.
I projected another key to fire down from above while I dropped Kanshou and gripped the extended arm. I attempted to snap the wrist, but he twisted his arm, his other hand delivering a palm strike to my chest, his hand coming away with blood from my wounds. I forced myself to tighten my grip through the pain as the air left my lungs as the key impaling his right shoulder, driven halfway in.
His right arm went limp, and I dropped Bakuya. I pulled on the limp arm, sending my own palm into his chin. His head snapped back, my own hold preventing him from moving far. Somehow, even after that, his left hand shot around my neck, my windpipe closing in an instant. My grip weakened, and I was lifted from my feet and plowed into the ground. His grip left but was immediately replaced by a foot slamming into my ribs. Unable to concentrate enough to reinforce against the blow, everything exploded with agony.
I couldn’t even let out a cry, my empty lungs filling with my own blood as I stared up at him. Father pulled the key from his shoulder, looking down at me with calm eyes.
“This could only end one way.”
The key slid through my heart into the ground, and he walked away without another word.
I stared up into the night sky, my vision darkening around the edges as the pain set in, the moon a shining beacon high above. This was not what I wanted. Not what I planned. I wasn’t supposed to die here. But what would I have done if I won? With no wish, I’d likely just destroy the Grail again like in every war previous. Even then, what would I do after? There’s nothing I can even say I want from this world. All I’ve ever wanted comes from myself. Be stronger. Be better. Be smarter.
No. There’s something else.
I care. I care when people get hurt. I care when I see them weak and manipulated and abused. I care when they die. It won’t help me. That kind of thinking gets you killed, but it’s always there. I could make all the excuses I wanted, but what would I say if someone I cared for got hurt because of it?
My right arm lifted from the ground, moving to the blade in my chest.
I already knew the answer. I doubt even Rin could have stopped me if Sakura had actually died. I would tear anyone who harmed them asunder. I would destroy them even if my body were mutilated beyond recovery. Not for some lofty justice or sense of right and wrong, but pure, selfish anger. I would not lose the ones I cared for. Not again. I would protect them with all I had.
My hand gripped the blade, strength flowing steadily into my arm as I suddenly tightened my fingers. The steel shattered in my hand, shredding the flesh and pelting me with shards.
I barely knew her. I almost killed her. I fought her as my enemy. She showed herself to me, if for only a brief moment. I saw myself in her, and I believe she saw herself too. She had been born for a single purpose. She accepted her fate and could do nothing but follow it. Her world had crumbled around her, and it was all she had left. I could hardly say I knew enough to call her a friend. Still…
I coughed violently, blood droplets flying up to fall back onto my face, a trail leaving my mouth as I slowly sat myself up.
I wanted to protect her.
Father turned back to me, his attention recaptured by my impossible revival.
And, Father or not, loved or not, he was standing in my way, and I couldn't protect both.
I staggered to my feet, my body knitting together as golden light blazed in my wounds. I straightened my back, Kanshou and Bakuya appearing in my hands as Father faced me fully.
I must be insane.
“You seem full of surprises tonight.”
I hurled the blades at him, projecting the crimson spear of Lancer into my hands, charging with animalistic ferocity behind them. Keys extended in his hands, blocking the swords and meeting my barrage of jabs. Gáe Bolg whirled and struck as though possessed, my body moving without thought. The weapon guided my attacks, bashing and stabbing in almost unseeable movements. Though he continued to show wounds, Father remained countering and evading.
I slammed the spear into his guard, sending him sliding back a few meters. The married swords he blocked finished curling back toward him, but he tossed the keys into them, knocking them to the ground. I planted the spear and vaulted into the air, keys appearing around me and firing down at Father while the twin swords reappeared in my hands. I saw my target as Father sprinted to the side, the keys becoming markers in the ground behind him.
I landed, throwing Kanshou before scooping up the discarded cassock in the freed hand. Father caught the blade, preparing to counter my incoming strike. He parried the slashing Bakuya, his left leg shooting up before crashing down on my shoulder. I took the blow, letting the cassock wrap around the leg before reinforcing the cloth. The coat stiffened and forced the leg straight, throwing him off balance as I stabbed the white blade into his defending arm.
Right hand free, I gripped down on the leg on my shoulder and drove my palm into the side of the knee. The reinforcement vanished at the last second, cloth and bone bending around the blow. His face contorted in pain for the first time, but he pushed off his right leg, rotating his body on his crippled one to deliver a kick to my skull.
My neck felt about to snap as I moved with the blow, gripping the cassock and pulling him with me. I stretched out my other hand, landing on it and using the momentum alongside my strength to slam him into the ground, dislodging the cassock from his twisted leg as well.
He pierced the earth with the blade in his hand, stopping him from going far before pushing himself up, his body easily balancing on his good leg. I projected and fired a key from his side as he righted himself, and Kanshou left his hand as the key dug in it, the force threatening to pull him back down.
I snatched the sword from the air and planted it in his chest, but his uninjured fist flew into my face before I could push it into his heart. I reeled back, but it was enough. Magical energy flowed into the blade, and it suddenly grew and pushed out through his back, the weapon having extended into a longsword. I ceased my reeling, pushing myself forward and leading with my right fist to direct all the force into it.
The hilt shot through his body and slammed itself into the distant wall, the blood coating the blade splattering in a wide array on the stone surface. I breathed out heavily and wiped the trail of blood from my face as I straightened, watching my father fall to the ground.
I released all the weapons I’d projected; the grounds being filled with evaporating particles for a brief moment. I looked down at the ruined form of my father, the large hole in his chest slowly creating a pool of blood from under him.
“It would seem,” his voice came out strained, but remained devoid of emotion. “My question will go unanswered.”
“What could be so important,” I stepped closer, unafraid of retaliation. “That you would sacrifice your own son to see it?”
“You already know the answer,” he stared at me with dimming eyes. “And yet, I doubt you have realized it.”
He was always vague at times like these. Always a lesson. Always asking me to search deeper. Only willing to answer me when I had already exhausted my every other option. Yet, I never seemed to find it irritating. It was when he was challenging me that he acknowledged me beyond anything else, wanting to see what I would achieve.
His right arm, bloody and torn, reached up toward me.
“You have done well, my son.”
I stared at the outstretched hand for several seconds before taking it, the blood of the open wound wetly squeezed across my palm. There was something oddly familiar about this situation.
And then everything went black.
“Hmm? What is it, Kirei?”
I shake my head, feeling that would be answer enough for the King of Heroes.
Kiritsugu Emiya’s eyes were devoid of any expression, a shadow of the sharp, cunning gaze he had once possessed. I doubt he was even capable of recognizing anything set before him anymore. He likely did not even see me in this state, my form no more than an apparition in his glazed mind. There is nothing that holds meaning for this man anymore, becoming a ghost that would only be consumed by the flames of disaster he had brought upon himself. This man no longer has any interest for me.
I turn to follow Archer, putting the sudden gloom that had fallen over me out of my mind.
“Wait.”
A voice, almost imperceivably quiet, speaks into my mind. I know the voice, having heard it not an hour earlier.
“Go to him.”
I almost ignore the words, but I feel I will regret doing so for some unknown reason. I turn to gaze where the shell of Kiritsugu Emiya had wandered further into the blaze.
“Do not wait for me, Archer,” I walk in the same direction. “It seems one more thing requires my attention.”
“Very well,” the king calls back, already moving off in search of something new.
I follow the remnants of a man shambling across the broiled carcass of the city. Charred debris crunches beneath my feet as we move forward, the need to conceal my presence pointless for the phantom wandering ahead of me.
What am I doing? This man is nothing now. Why would Angra Mainyu direct me to him?
I place my hand over my chest, the unmarked skin a testament to my connection. It has a purpose, a reason for this. I only need to watch.
But I do not need to watch for long, it would seem. Something catches the man’s attention, his eyes focusing on a pile of rubble and ash. I follow his gaze and see it too. A tan cloth, covered in soot and flecks of blood, nestled beneath a pile of stone.
He begins digging through the pile, but it is useless. The boy is already too far gone. There is no breath in his lungs, and his body is motionless. Another effort in futility.
I turn away, Archer’s possible destinations flitting into my mind. It may take some time, but it should be no issue to…
The night ignites in golden light, casting my long shadow out before me. I spin around to find the light dying from where Kiritsugu kneeled. He stares down at the boy for several seconds before tears begin running down his cheeks.
I am unsure how, but the boy is breathing. Kiritsugu was able to recover from every blow I landed in our fight. Is it possible whatever allowed him to do so also is what he used on the boy?
However, that does not really matter.
A smile crosses my lips as I move closer, the man still unable to see anything but his goal. I may never truly understand you, Kiritsugu Emiya, but I finally understand myself, and stealing this moment from you will be beautiful.
It seems Angra Mainyu had one final gift for me. I will have to repay them.
I pull my arm back.
**********
The gate closes with a soft metallic click behind me.
“I’m surprised at you, Kirei.”
I look over at the figure leaning against the foliage covered bars of the fence.
“I had assumed that boy would simply join the others. Is there something I couldn’t see that caught your eye?”
“His existence is similar to my own,” I gesture toward the mansion. “I wish to see how he will develop for myself.”
“Your first instinct when discovering one of your kind,” the King of Heroes smirks at me. “Is to use him as an experiment.”
“I am uncertain if he shares my unique inclinations. We will likely find out soon.”
“Is that why you left him with that girl?” Gilgamesh peers over at the building.
“I will also need to prepare lodging for him,” I turn and begin walking away. “This will aid in both matters.”
“Then I believe I will be leaving you for now,” I hear his footsteps going the opposite direction. “I wish to see what this modern world has to offer. I will return when I grow bored.”
I listen to his steps trail off in the distance and continue the walk back to the church. Time will reveal the boy’s inclinations. Until then, I will observe him as his caretaker. It may be possible I will find my answer sooner than anticipated.
**********
“You improve every day.”
“But I still have a ways to go,” Shirou breaths out heavily as he sits up from the dojo floor.
“Do not diminish your accomplishments so easily,” I reach down and take his hand, bringing him to his feet. “You are improving at a greater rate than most.”
“Yes, Father,” he walks over to the bench where Rin sat, taking the outstretched towel from the girl.
They interact so easily. The boy is never as open with anyone else as he is with her. It became clear to me when I returned that something had already changed between them. Though it seems to have vanished, the emptiness deep in his eyes remains. However, something else has thoroughly covered it.
The boy smiles as Rin says something to him, the gesture coming without thought.
His development has already differed from my own. While I can see this will not bring me the answers I seek, there is still merit in observing him going forward. Perhaps his connection with Rin is something I can use when the time comes.
“Only time will tell,” I say to myself as Rin rises to take his place.
**********
The door closes behind Shirou with a soft thump.
“Well, that’s an issue,” Lancer materializes on the pew to my right, his arms spread across its top. “You probably should have just let me kill him, huh?”
“Then you will have no issue in following him from now on,” I turn my eyes on my Servant.
A smirk appears on his face as he raises an eyebrow.
“I never expected you to be the protective type.”
“He is my son,” I say simply. “It is merely a father’s duty to protect his child.”
“Whatever you say,” Lancer shakes his head as he stands up. “I’m personally more interested in his Servant.”
“There will come a time when you will fight them,” I tell him. “So long as they survive long enough.”
“All the more reason to make sure that happens,” he vanishes into spirit form.
“You almost made your intentions sound noble,” Gilgamesh enters from the door to my right. “But still, it was quite unexpected that he would be chosen, especially after all that effort you put into keeping him away.”
“It was not my intention to prevent his place in the War. So long as Rin was taking part, it was inevitable he would join as well. I merely had not expected it to be as a master.”
“This world is full of wonders, wouldn’t you agree?” the Golden King walks down the middle aisle towards the doors. “I cannot wait to see what it has in store for you.”
He exits the church as well, leaving me alone once more.
Shirou. I can no more stop you from participating then I can stop myself from seeing my wish through to the end. Even if your Servant is eliminated before the others, I will likely have to kill you. You would never be able to stand by and let me kill Rin.
I link my arms behind my back, turning toward the door to my office.
I can imagine the look of confusion on your face as I rip out her heart before your eyes. Or perhaps I will you first and see the horror on her face as your life drains away.
I feel a frown creasing my face. How odd. Why does neither seem as enjoyable as they once had?
**********
I stare down at my son as I lift my foot from his chest. He watches me with pained eyes, his mouth attempting to let out a sound, but unable to do so.
I cannot understand why. Why do I not feel the familiar rush with every blow I deal. Blood seeps into his white shirt while he lies there, his final goal about to be stolen away while all he can do is watch. Rather than joy, all I feel is a strange disappointment. Could it be I expected more from him? A greater battle from one I myself trained?
How odd. As I hold the Black Key in my hand, I feel the sudden desire to walk away. It is truly peculiar. So close to my goal, and I feel the urge to jeopardize it, even if the chance of failure is now minimal.
I push these doubts and thoughts aside. In the end, these questions will matter little when Angra Mainyu is finally born. I need only witness it, and all will be answered.
I raise the weapon over my son’s heart.
"This could only end one way.”
And plunge it down.
**********
“You already know the answer, and yet, I doubt you have realized it.”
I see the familiar look of challenge on his face. He will likely spend much time devoted to understanding my words. My son has truly grown into a discerning, capable individual. I believe I have done well in my role as his father. But a father’s role is never done, and I have one final gift to give him.
I force my arm to rise, extending it up to Shirou.
“You have done well, my son.”
A feeling wells in my chest that I often felt at times like these. Over the years, I have come to think of that feeling as pride in my work.
After a moment’s hesitation, he reaches out as well.
But it is still strange. That pride is always accompanied by something else. I am unable to relate the feeling to anything but something similar to watching another suffer. So very similar, yet inexorably different. Before my time with Shirou, I can only recall once when I felt it, though it was shared with a scene of pain.
He takes my hand, and I begin the transfer.
Claudia. Is this…
I jerked my hand away, burning pain coursing over my body as a bright red glow faded from Father’s arm. I nearly crumbled under the searing agony, but the pain had already begun to subside.
“I see,” Father’s eyes stared up at the moon, something seeming to clear from the dimmed retinas. “That is why I have become so weak.”
I watched as what I could only describe as a content smile set on his face as he took his last breath.
What had I just…? No, I knew exactly what I had seen. I knew what had happened because Father had just shown me. His life had flashed before my eyes in an instant, every memory and feeling etched into my mind as though they were my own.
But what he had done was absurd. Transferring magic circuits was as dangerous as transplanting an organ. If the body isn’t compatible with the implant, it would reject it and cause major backlash to both parties. It was nearly impossible to…
It came into my mind and I kneeled down, pulling back Father’s right sleeve. All the command seals on his arm were now little more than faded imprints.
He had used the mana within every command seal to make the transfer possible. A massive amount of magical energy like that made even something as implausible as this possible, if only barely.
But why had I seen all that? It was like our souls had combined in that brief instant. I could find nothing in the new memories that would explain this. Even Father hadn’t known that would happen.
“One final gift.”
I felt the tears well in my eyes and begin slowly running down my cheeks.
I had always wondered how he saw me. Why he had killed that man but saved me. Always so many questions, and he only gave me answers when he died. There’s something cruel in that.
How very like him.
I did not wail for him, nor did I dwell on his thoughts in those final moments. There would be time for that later. Instead, I draped his cassock over his form, a small red stain beginning to form where his chest had been pierced.
“Thank you, Father.”
I wiped my eyes and began running for the lake behind the temple, the point of manifestation for the Holy Grail.
**********
Partway through the trees, there was an earth-shaking wave of energy, and I saw a torrent of whirling red in the distance. I quickly checked my command seals, making certain to maintain my forward momentum. The remaining seal was unchanged, meaning Saber was still alive. There was still a chance.
That hope was dashed when I came upon the scene of the battle.
Dirt and rubble were scattered everywhere I looked. Trees were shredded and splintered in massive waves around the entire clearing, and the lake appeared as blood from the falls of black and red muck emanating from what could only be called a hole in the world hanging high overhead. And there, almost dangling at the base of the hole, was Illya, head down to let her hair fall over her face.
And, in the center of the clearing, was the Golden King, his body resplendent in shining armor as he stood a distance away from Saber, her own body bearing gashes and wounds from which blood stained her clothes and spread over her armor.
Gilgamesh faced to me, seemingly unbothered by leaving himself exposed to Saber.
“So, it would seem Kirei was unable to see it through after all,” portals appeared behind him directed towards me. “As a favor to him, I will make your end quick.”
“Shirou!”
I projected the married blades into my hands as Saber charged towards me. Archer fired the weapons at me, and I moved my swords to meet them. Each impact felt like a car slamming into the blades, but my reinforced body was able to take the strain as I parried the weapons away, craters beginning to form in the distance behind me.
Archer paused; his eyes fixed on my swords before Saber got between us.
“Your battle is with me, Archer!” she rushed him, glimmering sword at her side.
“Perhaps, Saber,” a frown fixed his lips as multiple projectiles sent Saber dancing to the side. “But I now see that his life is an offense to me. I will be unable to do Kirei that favor.”
More portals appear behind him, but I already began projecting keys aimed for them. I was certain they would shatter on impact, but they should be enough to throw oof his aim.
Several of the weapons flew towards me, sending me diving to the right as just as many remained on course as those that went awry. Saber charged, but he met her swords swings with the same blade I saw Archer decapitate Berserker with. Did he copy it from Gilgamesh?
“You can’t protect your master and fight me as well.”
To show this, more portals appeared above him as he slashed at Saber, weapons firing at me in even greater numbers. I leapt out of the way, keys appearing and clashing with the projectiles while the blades in my hands whirled.
Suddenly, chains lashed out from portals around Saber, curling over her and tightening fiercely. Excalibur glided through the air, chains shattering and disappearing one after the next, but three more appeared for every length she destroyed. Soon, one made its way around her sword hand, and her limbs quickly followed.
“Especially if you can’t protect yourself,” the King turned his back to her, looking at me with smug confidence as he replaced the black sword in a portal. “It won’t bind you long, but more than enough time to deal with this.”
I thought about using my last command seal but dismissed it just as quickly. Empowering Saber or releasing her from the chain wasn’t going to cut it, and she’d disappear soon after, leaving me with him. My only choice was to rush him, try to get in close so he had a harder time launching while buying time for Saber.
“I’ve been watching you for quite a while, Shirou Kotomine,” he said as I hurled the mirrored swords at incoming weapons, projecting another pair to parry away the others. “Kirei always said your existence was similar to his, but I could never see that.”
I continued pushing forward, my circuits blazing with every blade I projected to counter his, every step drawing me closer to the King.
“Kirei was a being devoid of joy and purpose, only for his true desires to be revealed ten years ago. In comparison, one who simply lies to himself while pursuing his wants is nothing more than a hypocrite.”
I make it to him only to have my strikes blocked by a blade reminiscent of Excalibur, though its history told me why that was.
“But not just a hypocrite,” he continues speaking casually as I assault him. “You’re one without any strength of his own, stealing it from others as you have with those swords you hold. What would you call that except a Faker?”
Merodach began blazing, but I leapt back as Saber shattered her bonds and slashed at the King. He spun on her, golden swords clashing in a great explosion of power. I moved to attack, but gates had opened above him and fired in a furious barrage at me. I evaded back only to find a single portal opening in the same direction, something akin to a large spearhead with claws at the base peeking out. Even as I moved out of the way, the impact of the weapon against the ground caused an eruption of lightning to lash out.
Electricity coursed through me as I was smashed painfully through a tree, tumbling into the ground with my reinforcement barely intact. However, my body burned as my mana died, dispelling the protection.
I gingerly pushed myself up, the ache of my body becoming hard to bear without the reinforcement. I saw the two Servants in their ongoing battle, Saber once more being driven back by a storm of weapons.
We couldn’t win like this. Even at full power, Saber wouldn’t be able to stand up to him, especially if he brought out Ea. We needed to throw him off balance. Keep him occupied long enough for Saber to slip in and kill him. But that was impossible. Even in Father’s memories, Gilgamesh was a monster. We’d need another Servant to…
He picked me up and held me, hugging me close as he continued speaking. This wasn’t what happened.
Kiritsugu Emiya.
“You saw it, didn’t you? The history of the weapon.”
“You must imagine a world where it is possible and make it reality.”
A world of infinite weapons. A factory born of steel and fire.
“…Archer, you Devil.”
It was a truly mad notion, but one that seemed far too coincidental to be wrong. And, as I was prone to saying, there are no coincidences when it comes to magic.
But even that deranged possibility left me in a bind. I didn’t have enough magical energy to… Wait...
I felt the power in the pendant, less than an eighth having been drained by Saber. This amount of power was absurd, and just what I needed.
“Dammit, Rin,” I smiled as I shook my head. “If I tell you, you’ll never let me live it down.”
I pulled a strand from the pendant and linked it to myself. A tidal wave of mana rushed over me, and I gasped as I was nearly overcome by it. I focused on circulating it through my body, forming the picture of that world within my mind.
“Saber!” I called out as the image became ever clearer in my mind. “I need you to buy me a little time!”
My Servant didn’t answer. Instead, she moved to stand between me and the Golden King.
“What’s this?” he glanced past Saber to me. “Does the Faker have a scheme? As entertaining it would be to watch it fail, you're interrupting my time with my bride, and that is something I will accept no longer.”
A wall of golden light appeared behind him, but I paid it no mind. I trusted in Saber. Not a single weapon would touch me. By the same token, she was now trusting me to be successful in this gamble. This was it. I couldn’t fail here.
I saw the world. The world within Archer. The world within me. It was always there, but I could never see it. Never understand it. It was waiting for me. All I needed to do was call it.
I am the bone of my sword
Mana drew from the pendant faster, swarming over my body as a rushing current.
Steel is my body, and fire is my blood.
I heard his words, clear as day from his battle. I almost felt I was parroting them, but something was different.
I have created over a thousand blades.
I spoke without thinking, drawing the words from within myself, urged on by that internal world.
Unaware of past,
Nor aware of future.
Weapons blew past me in waves, Saber’s sword becoming a ray of light as she danced in front of me.
Withstood pain to create weapons, seeking my own path.
The mana burned through my circuits, roaring with barely contained power as it feeds into the shape of my world. My entire being becoming engulfed in this one image, I raised my voice even higher.
I grasp my life in both hands.
I stared into the eyes of the King, his face contorting into a furious scowl at my impudence. I allowed a smile to form as I raised my hand overhead.
So I wield, Unlimited Blade Works!
The ground beneath my feet shattered, and the world became engulfed in light. When the light finally died down, I saw it.
A world of infinite swords. Swords scattered over a dirt landscape of hills and valleys with strange pathways that seemed to bear no beginning or end running across, often overlapping and joining only to separate after. The sun shone brightly over the world, numerous clouds gliding across the sky without end.
Archer looked around in annoyance, his ceaseless attack having ended abruptly. Saber turned and looked at me with a mix of confusion and amazement.
“Your guess is as good as mine,” I chuckled out. “I honestly barely believe it myself.”
“So this was your plan,” the King of Heroes frowned at us, unimpressed. “You continue to waste my time even further. Disappear and leave me with my bride.”
More portals appeared and Saber readied herself to defend me, but I looked at the weapons, deciding now was the time to break them rather than deflect them.
Blades suddenly shot up from the dirt and rocketed at the portals, each colliding with and breaking one of the weapons Gilgamesh had called out. The man’s eyes widened, and he looked absolutely incensed.
"A mongrel like you dares to copy my treasures?” his anger was mixed with a healthy dose of disbelief.
“You said I didn’t have strength,” I moved up beside Saber, Kanshou and Bakuya projected into my hands. “That I took it from others. If that’s true…”
I called up a swarm of swords to rise in the air behind me, all perfect replicas of the numerous weapons he’d already thrown at me.
“…Then I’ll make their strength my own!”
My body is made out of swords.
My blood is of iron and my heart of glass.
I have overcome countless battlefields.
Not even once retreating,
Not even once being complete.
The wielder stands alone, seeking out fate on a hill of swords.
Thus, his life is meaning.
This body was always made out of swords.
Originally Posted by Morg van Destro
The point of his personality is more of a showcase of Kirei's influence on him. It has him looking into situations beyond simply wishing to help people, and often bringing rationalizations of why he's doing this thing for a person when he gets little out of it. With Illya, he wasn't going over there to comfort her. At least, not in a straightforward manner. With how he's been taught and acts, he would've laid out how she's out of the war, but there's no reason they have to keep fighting. Instead, he'd ask if she instead would be willing to join him and Rin, as she was still an incredibly powerful magus, and one that may have been able to help his own issue with Saber, with the obvious other side being that she stay out of there way and go as far away as possible. From a logical standpoint, the former is better than the later, but both remove an obstacle in the path. From a more emotional standpoint, either can be seen as him trying to protect her, with the first option aiding him in doing so.
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