0/
Late at night.
A time where people have all retreated to their homes, leaving the streets empty.
A time where only streetlamps light the city, painting the streets dark.
A time where monsters are said to roam, turning the streets scary.
And yet, late at night, a young girl was walking through the dark, empty, and scary streets.
The girl was one who could be called beautiful. She had the appearance of a middle-schooler, long blonde-hair that was well-maintained, and pale, smooth skin that seemed untouched by the sun. Her beauty was such that she resembled a life-sized doll.
And yet, that doll was not placed in an elegant, fancy doll house but instead walking through the nighttime streets. No, walking was the wrong word, even if her pace was sluggishly slow.
She was actually running. Running away from the police.
With each tired step, she ran away from Justice.
Her name was Arakawa Mary.
Age: 13.
Japanese, but with some foreign blood, hence the blond hair.
From appearance alone, one might guess that she was the daughter of some wealthy, well-bred family, but the very opposite was true. Her family that consisted of only her and her mother was the epitome of lower-class and had no money whatsoever.
Having only one parent was already difficult for a household, but Mary was special.
She was born without the ability to move her body.
Near complete paralysis. Everything below her neck could not be moved at will.
As mentioned, for a single mother, taking care of a child was already difficult.
But a child who can’t even move was just a burden.
The mother herself never wanted to blame her own child for her suffering.
She worked hard on her own to support their family and take care of her disabled daughter.
But in the end, she too was just human.
After several admirable years of overworking, the mother finally snapped under the burden.
“Ahahaha, Mary-chan, you’re so cute. You’re just like a doll. You know, when mommy was a child, she always wanted a cute doll like you. Ahahaha.”
She began to laugh as she combed her daughter’s beautiful hair.
From then on, things changed drastically.
The woman who seemed as if she was being crushed by stress was suddenly lively and smiling.
She came home every day with a grin and pampered her daughter lovingly.
The reason for this change was simple. It was merely a change of perspective.
The little girl living in her house wasn’t a child. She was merely a cute and beautiful doll.
A child was a burden, but a doll was just a hobby.
A doll doesn’t need attention.
A doll doesn’t need entertainment.
A doll doesn’t need education.
A doll doesn’t need affection.
There were no responsibilities whatsoever with a doll, only recreation.
So, what was once a source of stress became an outlet of stress-relief.
The mother spent all her days-off playing with her doll, dressing her up in fancy, handmade clothes, and moving her joints into super cute poses. She took great care to maintain the girl’s appearance so that she would be the most beautiful doll in existence and lovingly showered her with hugs and kisses.
She gave the girl the most love a doll could ever ask for.
But she gave her none of the love a child needs.
The girl was not allowed to go to school or even leave the house.
Whenever her mom was at work, she was left unattended at home, in the complete dark.
Whenever her mom got back, she would play with her for a few hours and then go straight to sleep.
The girl was truly nothing more than a toy to play with.
That was the extent of her existence.
Naturally, over the many years, discontent and resentment grew within the girl.
But what could she do about it? It’s not like she could just get up and walk away.
After all, she was something that couldn’t move by itself.
Just like a doll.
If she tried to talk or cry, the response was always the same.
“Nuh uh uh, Mary-chan. You know better than that. Dolls can’t speak.”
Thus said her mother’s frightening warmth.
And so, the girl could do nothing but submit to her fate.
She stopped her futile resistance. She became nothing more than a doll.
Yet, in her heart, she still yearned for salvation and so she prayed to God.
Please grant me a miracle!
Even she wasn’t expecting her wish to be answered.
Telekinesis.
The ability to move objects with one’s mind.
That was the salvation that the Lord gave her.
For the girl who couldn’t move anything, the power to move everything.
The moment her mother came back from work, she immediately put her new power to use.
She used her power to freeze the woman in place and began testing her powers.
Raise an arm, check.
Take a step forward, check.
Bend the back, check.
Okay, all good, the toy’s in perfect condition. She can play with it now.
And so, for the first time in years, the little girl began playing with toys.
She put on a puppet show and made the woman dance for her amusement.
For hours and hours, the woman was forced to dance, even as her body screamed out in pain.
The woman cried and begged for mercy, but of course—
Nuh uh uh, mommy. You know better than that.
Dolls can’t speak.
After a few hours, the girl got bored.
The puppet had stopped crying and was just limply going along. No fun at all.
So, she closed the curtains on the puppet show by having the puppet plunge a knife into its heart.
That very last scream was an appropriate curtain call.
The strings that had been binding the little girl were finally severed.
Now, she ran.
Even she knew that she was in trouble. Once the body was found, they’d definitely come for her.
She didn’t want to go to jail. She didn’t want to be chained up again. She wanted to be free.
So, she ran. She ran away with everything she had.
Using telekinesis, she was able to move her own limbs, but her actual ability was naturally poor.
The legs unused to supporting her own weight were sore.
The lungs unused to strain were burning.
The mind unused to making decisions was a haze.
Even so, she continued to run. She just wanted to run.
For the girl who could never even move, the act of running alone was ecstasy.
Even she knew that she would be caught eventually, but she still ran solely because she could.
But therein lied her mistake.
She had never left the house before, so she couldn’t know.
There was an iron-clad rule that every other kid knew at heart.
Children shouldn’t be walking around alone at night.
“… huh?”
The girl, who had been so fervently running, abruptly stopped in her tracks. Her road to freedom was suddenly blocked off by an unexpected obstacle.
Another person. There was another person now standing on the once-empty street. From the profile, he seemed to be a man. He was wearing a hoodie with the hood up, suitable for a chilly spring night, but it meant that his face was concealed under shadows.
This was bad. She wasn’t expecting to run into a passerby this late at night. If he called the police on her, she’d be in serious trouble.
Before he does anything troublesome, she should use her power and—
“Yo. You’re Arakawa Mary, right?”
Eh!? Mary was so shocked that she forgot what she was about to do. How did the man know her?
“You were on the news earlier today. They say you killed your mom. Looks like the police are after you too. Figure it won’t be long before they catch you either.”
So, the news of the murder had gotten out already. Well, she expected as much. The problem was that this man who knew the news was now standing in front of her. He knew she was a murderer, but he was confronting her without a hint of fear.
The man’s intentions were obvious. He must be here to capture her. Otherwise, there would be no reason for him to be out here at night and not run away from her the moment he recognized her. In other words, he was the enemy!
“Ah, no need to be so scared. It’s not like I’m after you or anything. This is honestly just a coincidence. I just thought that, since we happened to meet, we could talk a bit.”
“What?”
Once again, just before she attacked, he cut her off with a strange statement. It was like the man was buying seconds to live with each and every word.
“I’m curious. How exactly did you kill your mom? Apparently, she was killed by a knife to the chest, but the knife only had her own fingerprints on them. And there were signs of intense physical activity before death. It’s a very weird murder that the police just can’t figure out.”
The man nonchalantly asked, speaking of murder as if it were nothing. Though she couldn’t see his face, Mary had a feeling that he was smiling.
Dangerous. This man was dangerous. Though he had not done anything overt yet, she could tell that this person was dangerous. Before he could do anything else, before he could say anymore sweet words, she needed to stop him. She needed to kill him!
“So, Mary-chan? Could you tell me how you did it?”
“Why don’t… I show you!”
With a roar, she unleashed her telekinesis, the power that killed mom.
“Oh? How strange. I can’t move.”
“Hehehe… hahahahahahaha! That’s right. You can’t move. Now, you’re the one who can’t move!”
“Oh dear, that’s not a very lady-like laugh, Mary-chan.”
“Shut up. Shut up, shut up, shut up! Dolls aren’t allowed to talk!”
“Am I a doll now?”
“That’s right. It doesn’t matter who it is. My telekinesis turns everyone else into dolls. Everyone has to do what I want, move like I want, play as I want. I’m the Doll Master now!”
The man, with his hood still down, sighed. He didn’t seem very impressed.
“Telekinesis, huh? That’s a pretty amazing power.”
“Of course, it is. This power is the gift that God gave me, after all. He rewarded me for being a good girl for so long. Of course, it’d be awesome!”
“God… huh. I didn’t know you were so religious, Mary-chan. Though, I get the feeling you’ve never been to church.”
“Ahahaha, no, no, no, I can’t hear you. La la la, I can’t hear you. Mary is a good girl who always believed that God would save her. I can’t hear you because dolls don’t talk.”
Plugging her ears and talking over him, Mary ignored the man whose words would shake her faith. There was no need to listen to him. Mary already knew she was a good girl. She was a good girl who endured and endured all the mean things mommy did to her, so of course God would reward her. She had never been to church or heard a sermon before, but she knew that’s how God worked. That’s how he had to work since he saved her.
“Haah… well, fine. So, now what? What are you going to do to Mr. Doll?”
“I… Mary has to make sure that you can’t tattletale on her. So, I need to shut you up now.”
With a dramatic flourish, she used her power once more and a number of knives suddenly began floating around her. Just in case of situations like this, she had brought all the knives in the house with her. Thanks to her telekinesis, those knives were now flying projectile weapons.
“So basically, you’re going to kill me? I wouldn’t recommend that.”
“Are you begging for mercy, like mommy did?”
“No, not really. I’m saying that you should stop killing and you should turn yourself in already. It’s not too late if you stop now. You’re a kid so they’ll be lenient on you. If you want, I’ll go with you and we can apologize together.”
A voice devoid of fear. Even though he was the one who couldn’t move, he continued to talk down to her. Even though he was the doll, he continued to act like a stinky, mean adult.
“I told you already… dolls can’t talk!”
She unleashed the full might of her power. Numerous knives soared through the air, aimed to skewer the man’s body until he was filled with holes.
Without the ability to move, he could do nothing but watch as his death flew towards him—
“Woah, there. That’s dangerous.”
—He dodged.
At the very last moment, the man who should’ve been frozen in place dodged out of the way, letting the knives fly past him harmlessly.
“… eh?”
Mary couldn’t believe it. She was certain she had completely held down all of his limbs. It should’ve been impossible to even take a single step, much less dodge every single knife. And yet, the man was casually just checking his clothes to see if any of the knives grazed him.
“Ah, I get it. So, it’s hair. That’s the secret of your so-called telekinesis.”
The man suddenly nodded to himself, seemingly analyzing his own near-death experience.
“You have some sort of special super long, super strong strands of hair that are difficult to see with the naked eye. It seems you can control these hairs at will, so you wrap them around objects to make them float or around people to control their limbs, like a puppet on strings. Even your own body is being held up by those hairs right now too. That’s the true identity of your so-called telekinesis ability, right?”
“… huh?”
“But you messed up. That knife attack of yours cut your own strings, which was what let me dodge at the last moment. You should be more careful about how you use your weapons. Well, I guess it can’t be helped. You are just a kid.”
The man seemed incredibly confident in his deduction, but Mary herself had no idea what he was talking about.
“I don’t… understand… Mary has telekinesis…”
“Eh? You didn’t know? Don’t tell me you actually thought that God had given you some special psychic power or something.”
“Th-that’s right. God gave Mary this power because she was good girl. It’s a special power that only Mary has!”
“Ahhh… I see now. Your mom never let you watch TV, huh? That’s why you don’t know.”
Slowly but surely, the man began to walk towards her.
“Wh-what? S-stop it. Stay away.”
“The power you treasure so much wasn’t given to you by God. No, the one who gave it to you was a demon.”
The man armed with the truth approached her unimpeded. There was nothing she could do to stop him now that her hairs were cut.
“Stop it. Shut up. Stay away. You’re just a doll. You’re not supposed to move.”
“You didn’t get that power because you were a good girl. No, you got it because you’re a bad girl. A bad girl who wanted to kill her own mom.”
Mary tried to get away, but her little girl steps were no match for a man’s long strides. Soon enough, he was right in front of her, looming over her with the height of an adult.
“No… please just leave me alone…”
“You have to accept it. You aren’t special. You’re sick. You’re broken on the inside, which is why you broke on the outside. In the end, you’re just… a murderer.”
“NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!”
A scream filled with sorrow. A scream even louder than her maniacal laughter. Pouring her heart out, the little girl screamed to the world that had ignored her for so long.
“That’s not true. I’m not sick. I’m not a bad girl. I’m a good girl! I’ve always been a good girl! I did what mommy told me to do! I wore all her dresses and did all her poses! I was finally rewarded for being good! I’m special! God chose me! That’s why I—”
Snip!
It happened in an instant. It was an attack so fast she didn’t even see it.
All she knew was that she had been defeated. The hairs holding up her body had been cut.
Instantaneously, her body crumpled to the ground. A literal puppet without strings.
“Uggghh…. uwaaahh…. Waaaaaaaahhhhh!”
She began to cry. Tears flowed down her cheeks and pooled on the cold asphalt beneath her.
She cried and cried and cried. Because that was the only thing she could do.
Her limbs no longer moved. She couldn’t even crawl away or kowtow.
Once again, she was powerless.
“Why? Why are you doing this to me? Why are you bullying me? I didn’t do anything wrong. I was just playing with my toys. It’s normal to do whatever you want with your toys. I mean, I mean, if playing with dolls is so wrong, then then then…”
Raising her head one last time, she looked up at the sky and made a final prayer.
“Then, why didn’t anyone save me!?”
Such was the wish of the girl who had been a doll all her life.
And in the face of such a plea, the man didn’t even flinch.
“I see now. The affected region is the hair and the function born from that is physical manipulation. The cause… objectification, I guess. You were just trying to exert the humanity that was robbed from you.”
Cold as ice, the man raised an arm and revealed a silver object in his hand. It seems that he had picked up one of the knives from earlier and was now holding it above Mary’s body.
“Sorry, kid. This world isn’t kind enough to save people like us. It sucks, but tough luck.”
Only at that last moment did Mary realize. That all that time, the man had been talking down to her and patronizing her in the same way an adult would speak to a child.
Yes, for the first time in years, someone had treated her like an actual kid and shown her the love that any kid would wish for.
And the very next moment, the knife was swung down—
1/Lost
Right, it was the 8th of April.
The start of spring, a few days after I got discharged from the prison they called a hospital, I had been wandering around town, wondering if I could find a reputable job or not. Going back to school was looking pretty impossible at that point, so the best I could do was think of a way to scrounge up some money.
Earlier in the day, the television had been blaring with sensational news. Apparently there had been a murder. The victim: some poor woman. The suspect: her daughter, a cute middle-schooler. How horrifying.
But the mayor on TV had instead been making a bigger fuss about the convict who had been released from prison recently, chanting such catchy tunes as “lock him up” or “it’s his fault”. That must’ve been why everyone’s glares were feeling especially cold today, even though this spring was already rather chilly.
Now, after a nice long day of obambulating without results, it was already too late to take a train so I had to drag my complaining feet back home on my lonesome through dark and empty streets when I randomly got the bright idea to stop by the convenience store for a midnight snack. But there, crouching in front of the store, was a young lady shivering.
Looked like the flashy type. Bleached long hair. Long nails. Long legs. No jacket. Miniskirt. Buttoned-up blouse. Nice, shapely rack. Probably wearing a lot of make-up.
Hey, wait, she seems familiar… That’s right, I recognize those boobs.
“Um, Enomoto-san? Is that you?”
I nervously call out to the lady, hoping I was right.
“Um, it’s me, Mashima Masahiro. Do you remember me?”
The woman flinches at the name and slowly turns around.
“Majima…?”
A girly voice filled with surprise and trepidation.
Seems like I was right. Even said my name wrong the same way. Definitely her.
Enomoto Reika. A ghost of two-years past. She was a friend and classmate of mine back in high school. We spent a lot of time together after school, so you could say she was one of my closest friends.
“Hey. Long time no see.”
“How are you here? I thought you were in a hospital somewhere.”
How, not why. Very keen question. Enomoto always was a clever girl.
“Well, I actually live nearby now. They finally let me out of the hospital a few days back, so I’ve been getting myself reacquainted with the area.”
“I see… so you were the one they released.”
“Yup, that’s right. But, wow, what a coincidence running into you here. Has it been two years already? I sure am lucky to see you again. What are you doing here anyways?”
Enomoto flinches again. Should I not have asked that?
“N-nothing much. I was just about to leave. See you later… I guess.”
She swiftly gets up and starts walking away hurriedly, showing me the cold shoulder. She sure didn’t look like she was in a hurry earlier though.
How peculiar. And if I remember correctly, Enomoto’s house was on the other side of town. So why was she just loitering around in front of a convenience store in the middle of the night? Could it be that she ended up stranded after the trains stopped for the day?
“Ah, wait up, Enomoto-san! Do you not have a place to stay tonight?”
My desperate shout stops her before I have to chase her too far. As I catch up to her, though, I notice how tense her shoulders seem from behind.
“Um, sorry for stopping you, but I think it’d be dangerous for a girl to stay out all night. My place is really close, so you can stay the night, if you’d like. What do you say?”
“…”
Slowly, like a rusted gear, Enomoto turns towards me. It is an action filled with reluctance and caution. Even a dense idiot like me can tell how uncomfortable she seems.
And yet, she nods.
Against her own better sensibilities, Enomoto Reika hesitantly accepts my offer, not unlike a fool signing away her life to the devil.
— X X X —
“Sorry for the mess. I haven’t done much unpacking yet. Please make yourself at home.”
“… hmph. You’re as dirty as always.”
After our destined reunion, I brought Enomoto back to my apartment, a crappy 1LDK in a municipal low-rent building. She had visited my old home a few times in the past, but this was obviously her first time in my new abode.
After I was released from the hospital, I eagerly returned to my hometown, a certain City K in Prefecture C, but was immediately slapped in the face with a message from my parents:
“Don’t even think about ever coming home.”
They paid off my hospital bill and subsequently wiped their hands of me entirely. The only thing remaining of our familial bond was a monthly five-digit allowance bank transfer, presumably a bribe to make sure I never show up at their doorstep again.
Thankfully, the bigwigs arranged a place for me to stay already and I was allowed to live in this building for next to nothing. Until I can find a job and afford to move elsewhere, I’m honestly just happy to have a roof over my head.
“Sorry that there’s only one bed. Um, it’s all yours of course.”
“It’s fine. I can sleep in the living room.”
“Well, if you want… Ah, you must be cold, right? Why don’t you take a shower, Enomoto-san?”
“… no thanks, I’m fine. You don’t have to go out of your way for me. I’ll leave first thing in the morning, anyways.”
“It’s not really a big deal; it’s just a shower. W-well, suit yourself.”
The two of us take a seat in the living room and I take out the food in my shopping bag to sate my grumbling stomach. After Enomoto accepted my offer, I excitedly asked her to wait a second as I rushed into the convenience store to buy the things I had gone there for to begin with. Looking back, that was rather rude of me. I wouldn’t be surprised if Enomoto had left while my back was turned, but she obediently waited for me in the end.
“Ah, do you want anything? You don’t have to hold back.”
“No, it’s fine. I’m really not that hungry.”
“That so? Well, more for me then.”
From my perspective, she seemed rather famished, but perhaps she’s wary of all the high-calorie food I bought. She is a girl after all.
“So… how have you been? What have you been up to these last two years?”
“Nothing much.”
“You graduated this spring, right? Are you in university now? Or did you get a job?”
“Neither.”
“Oh, so you’re job hunting…?”
“I guess…”
“…”
A-awkward! Shit, my attempts at conversation are completely failing.
Oi, oi, aren’t reunions supposed to be more cheerful and rowdy than this? What’s with this oppressive atmosphere? I know I’ve never been good at talking, but two old friends shouldn’t have nothing to say at all after two years apart.
“Uhhh, how are Hiraizumi-san and Tsubota-san doing? Where are they now?”
“… Fuyuka got a job at some office. Chisa went to college.”
“Ah, that’s cool. You guys must still be in touch.”
“Not really. We stopped hanging out two years ago.”
“O-oh. Um, uh, well, I guess that happens. Oh, right, what about the baseball team? They were doing pretty well that year. Did they make the finals after all?”
“They lost immediately after you left.”
“Is that so… hahaha…”
Shit! This is bad. Nothing I say is working.
Why am I even the one trying to get the conversation going, anyways? Don’t push such a task on a super introvert like me!
At this point, I’m just desperate for some relief from this quiet tension, so I ask random questions.
“So, uh, what were you doing in the neighbourhood? Looking for a job nearby?”
“… none of your business.”
A cold, hostile rejection. That unfortunately just piques my concern.
“Um, if I remember correctly, your house is on the other side of town, right? Do you need to call your folks to let them know you’ll be staying here tonight?”
“…”
“Your clothes are rather shabby too. Did you fall down or something?”
“…”
“… have you eaten anything recently? Your stomach’s been grumbling a lot.”
“…”
“Say, Enomoto-san. I hope I’m wrong but… did you run away from home?”
“…”
The right to remain silent continues to be invoked. That alone gives me the answer.
I lean back onto the wall with a muffled sigh. So that’s what it was, huh? I guess that does explain a lot.
… to be honest, even two years ago, I had a feeling Enomoto’s home life wasn’t the best. Back in summer, she refused to wear the sleeveless school uniform, even at the cost of pissing off the teachers, but I occasionally still caught glimpses of the bruises on her arm. It was obvious things weren’t right. Though at the time, I didn’t have the peace of mind to be concerned for her.
But now… as her old friend, what should I do? The answer to that is also obvious.
“Well, um, how should I say this? If you don’t wanna talk about it, you don’t have to. I won’t pressure you or anything. But, um, if you do wanna talk about it, I’ll always be there to listen. So yeah…”
I find myself scratching my cheek awkwardly as I spit out those cliché lines. Ahh, that wasn’t very cool. But still, I feel like that was the best thing I could say at the time like this.
“…”
“O-oh, look at the time. I guess we should get to bed. Um, let me know if you need anything and… good night, I guess.”
I swiftly clean up as if trying to hurriedly run away from the awkward atmosphere. But just as I’m about done putting everything away and ready to call it a night, a soft voice leaks out.
“You really haven’t changed, huh?”
Half annoyance, half endearment. It’s hard to tell what she’s really feeling as she stares at me, her chest seeming to expand as she unwinds a bit. I wonder if there’s a smile on her face. Nah, probably not.
“You think so? It’s been so long I can’t really say for myself. Personally, I think you’ve changed a little…”
The Enomoto Reika from my memory was a strong-willed, selfish girl who did whatever she wanted and never knew how to shut up, a far cry from the taciturn girl in front of me. She feels a bit different from the one I knew.
“Ah, speaking of which, there was something I wanted to ask you…”
Standing by the bedroom doorway, I pose my final question.
Even taking into consideration her current situation, she’s been a little too tense this whole time. The way she flinches almost every time I speak up, the way she keeps to herself and doesn’t impose on me at all, it all feels a little off. It’s as if there’s something she’s wary of.
So, then, it’s most likely that…
“Are you possibly… afraid of me?”
“…”
Once more she nods.
So that’s what it was after all. Enomoto is scared of me. She’s utterly terrified of disobeying me. But I guess it can’t be helped.
I am possessed by a demon after all.
1.5/
Demon Possession.
The informal name for a virulent disease that first became known to the public about 10 years ago.
Formally known as Agonist Syndrome, it is a sudden psychological disorder that’s also described as a receptor crash. It is currently being treated as a modern mental illness, such as depression or dissociative identity disorder. Those who have been infected suffer a psychological breakdown that, if untreated, can even lead to a physical metamorphosis. Carriers of the disease are known to exhibit erratic behavior, drastic personality changes, and anatomical transformations that can only be described as inhuman, hence the name demon possession.
That’s of course just the popular name they use on the news and what not, but most people will only know it by that name. Though a decade of research has been put into studying the disease, actual results have been slow, and the common folk are as uninformed or even misinformed as ever. In the end, instead of explaining the biochemical process behind the transformation, it’s so much easier to say that people are being possessed by demons.
Now, to tackle this brand-new surrealistic illness, a specialized medical center was built, and all patients diagnosed with Agonist Syndrome were to be brought to it. Once inside, patients weren’t allowed to leave until they were cured.
And about two years ago, that hospital gained another patient.
Mashima Masahiro.
Age: 17.
Second year high school student living in City K, Prefecture C.
Arrested for mass murder.
Anyone who went to his high school would likely remember the story of how the school’s nice, quiet guy went mad one night and killed four of his fellow students in a karaoke room.
Friends terrified. Teachers dismayed. Parents disappointed.
Under such disdainful glares, Mashima Masahiro was convicted and ready to be put behind bars for good, when a sudden discovery came to light.
Your honor, halt the trial! The defendant is Demon Possessed!
That changed things real quick. If the boy was possessed, then it couldn’t be helped. The demon made him do it, so he can’t be held responsible.
Thus, the boy was instead thrown into a hospital rather than a prison. But then again, the hospital he ended up at, Origa Memorial Hospital, may as well have been a prison. In its ten-year history, gathering demon possessed patients from across the country, it had not discharged a single patient.
Patients can only leave when they were cured. But, as it turns out, curing the carriers of A-Syndrome was no easy feat. So, in the end, no one was ever actually let go.
At least, that’s how it was supposed to be.
— X X X —
“All right. You can leave today.”
Very beginning of April, I was given the official announcement of my discharge.
“Eh, uh, um… are you sure? Is it really okay for me to leave?”
“It’s already settled. Even if you change your mind now and decide to stay, it’s too late. We don’t want you here anymore. Basically, we’re kicking you out.”
The beautiful, female doctor stated such and immediately left. It was a very anticlimactic end to my two years in the hospital.
Though the announcement itself was sudden, I had already known ahead of time that it would be coming soon. Apparently, after 10 years with no discharges, the health center was starting to get some heat, so they decided to release a few harmless patients in order to cool things down a bit. Well, according to the female doctor, it was mostly to save money.
But anyways, it was thanks to those circumstances that little old me got the chance to go home.
With only an hour left before my scheduled departure, I decided to spend my last moments in the hospital I’d come to know for two years at the confessional.
“What do you think about my discharge, Dr. Roman?”
“That’s a strange thing to ask. Of course, I’m happy for you.”
Seated before me in my last hour was the mild-mannered, kind-hearted doctor of Origa Memorial Hospital. Because of his romantic words, he ended up with the nickname Dr. Roman and became somewhat of a saint to the despised sinners in this hell hole.
“How should I put it… I guess I’m just not sure if I’m ready to leave yet.”
“Do you think we made the wrong decision discharging you?”
“N-no, not at all. I trust you guys. If you think I should be discharged, I’ll go along with it. It’s just that… I guess I’m not confident.”
Hanging my head, I stare at Dr. Roman’s chest. Surprisingly wide despite his scrawny body. Watching it heave up and down so slowly calms me down a bit.
“I mean, I killed 4 people, you know. It’s not like I’ve actually been cured either, right? Isn’t it really possible that I’ll do it again?”
“Hmmm… indeed, that is a potential concern. However, the fact that you are being discharged shows that the doctors are confident that will not happen. You have been judged harmless to society.”
Dr. Roman flashes me a gentle smile, but I’m not too convinced. I still can’t shake off the feeling of the blood on my hands.
“All right then, Mashima-kun. Let’s think about it another way. Let’s say that you were a demon possessed with an incredibly fatal alteration. Suppose that your neo-function allows you to instantly kill anyone in eyesight.”
“That sounds pretty terrifying to me.”
“Indeed, it’s quite scary. But, when you think about it, that kind of person isn’t much difference than a normal person carrying a gun around. A regular firearm isn’t much less effective at murder, yet it isn’t considered inhumanly abnormal. You see, what’s important isn’t whether or not one can kill others, but whether one is willing to kill others.”
“Hmm…”
“In the end, even the most powerful weapon is harmless if the person holding it doesn’t pull the trigger. Well, what about you, Mashima-kun? Do you think you could pull the trigger?”
“… no. I don’t think I could.”
“Then it should be fine. There won’t be any problems.”
Dr. Roman claps his hands together, closing the lid on the inquiry, but my spirits still feel low. Still grumpy, I decide to complain a little.
“… even if I do get out, it’s not like anyone will accept me. I’ll be shunned for the rest of my life as a demon possessed. There won’t be anyone who values me.”
“That is a problem. After all, you don’t value yourself.”
Oof. Surprisingly sharp words from Dr. Roman.
“W-well, you’re not wrong, but is that important?”
“I believe so. If someone doesn’t have any value in society, then they’ll judge that they have no place in society and become much more likely to be destructive to it. If you do wish to rehabilitate, finding your own value is instrumental.”
I turn away, unable to even face the man’s chest anymore.
“… I don’t know if I can do that.”
“Then there’s only one solution. If you can’t find it yourself, find someone who can. Not something as nebulous as society, but someone who can see your value. Search for it with your life on the line: someone who needs you. If you do that, I’m sure you’ll be fine.”
I’m amazed. In the end, he managed to pull out such a nice line. His nickname wasn’t for show; this guy really was a full-fledged romanticist.
“… I bet you use that line on every patient.”
“Haha, you caught me.”
But well, I guess I understand what he’s saying. Basically, I have to go out into society and find my soulmate, right? It really is a romantic notion.
And with that, time was up.
I bid farewell to Dr. Roman and the Origa Memorial Hospital.
Feeling a teensy bit better about myself, I take my first steps back into society…
2/Lamb
The next morning, April 9th. Weather’s cloudy, just like yesterday.
When I woke up in the morning, I half expected to find that Enomoto had left while I was sleeping, but she was pleasantly surprised to find her still snoring away in the living room.
She looked pretty tired last night, so I wouldn’t be surprised if she ended up snoozing till noon. Her breasts were slumped to the side, as if deflated of all tension, giving me the image of a limp balloon. With that in mind, I headed out for a bit to pick up breakfast/lunch, leaving behind a note to wait for me if she woke up before I got back.
The city was the same as always, a concrete jungle of light greys and dark greys. Well, after two years of sterile white, a little grey’s a nice change of pace. Besides, the sky’s so nice, wide and… grey. Oh, yeah, it’s cloudy today.
“Can I pray for your happiness?”
A suspicious sounding voice calls out to me from nearby. The streets that were barren last night were now filled with busybodies, and one of them had approached me fearlessly: a woman with a twitchy flat chest.
“Hm? You’re going to pray for me? Are you sure about that?”
Perhaps in a bad mood, I decide to humor the lady preaching revelations to passersby, no different from a tissue paper dispenser.
“Yes, please let me pray for you. We’re living in dark times right now, where faith is vital. If you don’t pray, you’ll be possessed by a demon.”
“Possessed, huh? So if I pray, I won’t be possessed?”
“That’s right! Those poor, poor children who became possessed by a demon– oh, if only they had faith, God would’ve saved them.”
“Hahaha, that’s a real pretty thought, ma’am. But I don’t think I agree. If you ask me, not even God could’ve saved those losers. I mean, they already went out of their way to sell their soul to the Devil.”
With a chuckle, I wave off the zealous lady and head back to reality. It’s Sunday today, lady. Let’s learn a lesson from the guy upstairs and give it a rest.
— X X X —
“Ah, you’re awake…”
When I returned to the apartment, I found Enomoto up and watching TV in the living room.
“Hmph, where were you, anyways? All I found when I woke up was this note saying ‘brb wait’.”
“Sorry, sorry, but I was just grabbing some stuff. You’re hungry, right? I got lunch.”
I showed off the shopping bags and laid them by the kitchen counter. For me, convenience store bento and lemon tea. For Enomoto, melon bread and melon soda. Double melon for the lady with nice melons.
“Here ya go, it’s your favorite.”
“Eh? You remembered?”
“Of course. Do you know how many times you made me buy it for you? I even remember your favorite brand.”
“Mn…”
Enomoto silently grabs the food from my hands and tilts her head slightly away. I wonder if she’s pouting or frowning. Maybe both?
“Oh, and one more thing, I have a gift for you. Please accept it.”
I hand her the other shopping bag that I had to run to UNIQLO to get.
“Clothes?”
“Uh, yeah, I thought you’d need a clean change of clothes, so I went ahead and bought some. I wasn’t too sure about the size though…”
“What? Are you expecting me to stay for a long time?”
“N-no, I just thought wearing those dirty clothes all the time might not be good for you… And well, if I may be frank, you should probably take a bath after all. I mean… you do kind of stink…”
“Huh?”
Danger, danger. Enomoto was practically growling at me.
“S-sorry, no, no, that’s not what I meant. I take it back. You smell great. I love how you smell! I could sniff you forever!”
“HUH?”
“No, wait, I didn’t mean that either. I don’t have a smell fetish. I’m really sorry. Please just forgive me!”
“Hmph.”
Enomoto gives me the cold shoulder and focuses on digging into her lunch. Oh dear, it seems that I’ve only made her angrier, even though I was trying to make her more comfortable with her favorite food and a nice bath. Ever since last night, she’s seemed really on edge, though I can’t blame her.
After all, she’s in the same room as a mass murderer.
I completely understand why she’s so wary around me. In fact, I’d even say that I deserve such a treatment. But even so, I want to repair our relationship as best as I can and maybe turn back the clock to our previous friendship. I want to do my best to reintegrate with society.
Maybe… maybe she’d be happier if I did more things that I remember her liking? If I do a deep search of my memories, that would be…
“Umm, Enomoto-san…?”
“What is it?”
She responds with clear indignation, hostility unhidden. In order to amend that, I think that I need to be willing to bend over backwards and ameliorate her suspicions towards me with deliberate displays of friendliness. Which is why, I—
“W-would you like to sit on me?”
“Pfffftttt—”
She nearly spits out all her melon soda.
“What the hell are you talking about, idiot!? A-Are you into that sort of thing?”
“Eeehhhh? N-no, not at all. I just thought you would like that!”
“Why the hell on earth would I want that? What kind of person do you think I am!”
She angrily throws her soda bottle cap at me, and I barely dodge out of the way by flopping onto the floor.
“B-b-but, back in school, you made me be your chair all the time. I was just trying to make you happy by offering something you like.”
“W-wh-wha— don’t bring up something so embarrassing! And it wasn’t all the time. We only did it like maybe 10 times at most!”
“See, so you admit you did make me do it!”
By now, she was facing me head on with fists raised, her chest puffed out. I would bet pretty heavily that she was probably blushing too.
“Th-that’s all in the past, okay? I was doing my best to forget it all, but you’re the one who brought it up. In other words, that means you’re the one who actually enjoyed it.”
“Oi, oi, don’t put it on me! You definitely liked it. I still remember when you put a collar on me and said we were going to play horsey!”
“Wha– that’s not, I mean, ugh, well… shut up!”
With an indignant yell, she plopped back down and started chowing on her bread.
Umm… did I just make her even angrier? Huh, that’s weird. I was trying to make her happy, but I did the complete opposite. Did Operation Chair-kun fail that badly?
It can’t be helped. I still have my final ultimate strategy left. I didn’t want to use it, but I’m left with no choice. Just like in the old days, this tactic is bound to make her instantly merciful.
Hiya! With a dramatic flair, I place 5 thousand-yen bills on the table and slide them over the her slowly.
“Um, it’s not much but if you want…”
“Don’t give me money, you idiot!”
“Kyaaa!”
She slaps my hand away along with the cash.
Impossible! Operation Bribery failed? But it had such a high success rate. I knew I should’ve used a ten thousand-yen bill after all. Damn me and my miserly nature.
“Hmph.”
Anger levels maxed, Enomoto wolfed down the rest of her food, while I still hadn’t even started mine. No good, she’s unappeasable. Our old friendship is in utter shambles.
I timidly start pecking at my food while crying on the inside. At the same time, Enomoto lazily watches TV, not sparing me any attention.
When I’m about halfway done, though, she suddenly speaks up as if something had been on her mind the whole time.
“Hey, mind if I ask you something?”
“Eh? O-of course not. Go ahead.”
I put down my chopsticks and prepare myself for anything. Quickly, I sneakily take note that her chest was rather still, signifying that she was pretty calm… or in a cold rage.
“Say. Why are you always staring at my boobs?”
“Ah! … y-you noticed?”
I blush, having been found out.
“It’s obvious. You’ve been ogling them all night and day. It’s pretty creepy.”
“S-sorry! It’s not what you think. I can explain!”
I clap my hands together and beg for forgiveness as I try to find the words that’d exonerate me.
“Um, well, basicall… I like looking at people’s chests—”
“Perv.”
“No, that’s not what I meant. Please here me out!”
Even though I can’t see it, I can feel Enomoto’s stabbing icy glare.
“What I’m trying to say is… ever since I was hospitalized two years ago, I haven’t been able to see faces.”
“…huh?”
Feeling rather ashamed of the truth, I nervously blush and do my best to explain it.
“I’m not just saying that I can’t face people cause I’m shy or anything. I literally mean that I can’t see people’s faces. When I look, it’s just a blurry smudge. And if I look too long, I start to get nauseous.”
“What the… why?”
For the first time, Enomoto’s voice seems to contain legitimate concern for me. Unfortunately, I can’t tell if that concern is shown on her face.
“Ahaha, I wonder why. According to the doctors, they don’t know either, but they guess that it’s probably some sort of mental block born from guilt.”
A person’s face is the symbol of their identity. Seeing someone’s face means acknowledging them as a person and as an individual. But, for some reason, my brain is refusing to do that. Ever since the incident two years ago, I’ve been unable to face people head-on and recognize them directly.
After all, it’s so much easier to kill someone if they’re just a faceless blob. But murdering another living human with a life and identity of their own weighs heavily on the heart. Thus, my brain refuses to see them as real people. Even though I’ve accepted it mentally, a part of me still wants to deny the fact that I really did kill other people. So, to this day, it continues to ease my pain and reduce others to faceless flesh.
At least, that’s what the doctors theorized. These kinds of things are still a huge mystery.
“Well, that’s basically how it is. Because I can’t see people’s faces, I’ve gotten into the habit of looking at their chest when I talk to them. And, well, I got so used to it that I can somewhat read a person’s mood based on their chest movements. So, sorry about that…”
I bow my head, honestly. I really don’t have any bad or lecherous intentions, but I understand how uncomfortable it must be for someone to not face you and just stare at your boobs all day.
“Hm… so basically, you’re saying that you feel so bad about killing people that you can’t look people in the eye anymore.”
“Oh. Um, yeah, that’s it in summary.”
What a succinct analysis. I’m impressed at how seriously Enomoto took my explanation.
For a moment, the two of us just sit there in silence. I wait for Enomoto to say something, but she just sits there in silence. Though I can’t tell, I have a feeling she has a contemplative expression.
And after a long pause, she finally releases a disgruntled sigh before getting up.
“… I’m taking a bath.”
“Huh? Ah, well, go ahead. Take your time.”
Not even responding, she stomps off towards the bath indignantly, exuding a ‘don’t talk to me’ aura from her iron back.
All I could do was sit in silence and watch as her tits breasted boobily towards the bath.
… okay, maybe I do have a problem.
— X X X —
While Enomoto is taking her bath, I finish eating the rest of mine while watching television.
The program was going over the big news from yesterday, namely the woman who was allegedly murdered by her own daughter. The suspect had finally been caught and taken to the police, where she would be both questioned and tested. But even though the investigation wasn’t over yet nor was there any proof, the papers were already calling the girl demon possessed.
I want to yell “Come on journalists, you know better than this!”, but it’d likely just fall on deaf ears. In recent years, the media’s been quick to pin any abnormal crime on a demon-possessed culprit, even though, in reality, less than 10% of those crimes were actually committed by a genuine demon-possessed. Even when such numbers are posted later, the damage has already been done and the illusion of demon possessed criminals running amok has taken root.
Just yesterday too, the mayor of City K was protesting on live television the release of one such demon-possessed from the special clinic: me. Something slanderous about how the clinic was releasing dangerous criminals onto the streets. And judging by the applause he was getting, it seems there are quite a few people in this city who’d love it if I were locked up again.
For some reason, the mayor of this city is especially antipathetic towards demon possessed and that had an effect on the other citizens too. There were no small number of people in this city who had an utter hatred for anyone with Agonist Syndrome.
Well, as a demon possessed myself, there’s not much I can say to them…
Ding dong!
“Hm?”
Suddenly, while I was waxing philosophical about the effects politics has on the public’s perception of divisive topics, the doorbell rang for the first time since I moved in.
“Uh, who is it?”
I get up and immediately rush to the door. Normally, I don’t lock the door during the day, but this isn’t the best neighborhood, so I decided to be more cautious for good measure.
When I open up the door, though, I’m greeted by an unfamiliar person.
“Long time no see, Hiro-senpai!”
Before me, a tall and slender man in a high school uniform gives me a cheerful salute. Unable to see his face, I’m at a loss for who this friendly stranger might be.
“Umm, hello there. Might you introduce yourself?”
“Huh, don’t tell me you forgot me already, Senpai. Ah, maybe you don’t recognize me because of my growth spurt. C’mon, it’s me, Enjoufusa Minato!”
Enjoufusa Minato, he says… yeah, there’s no way I’d ever forget that hyper eccentric name.
We were acquaintances back in high school. He was a first year during my second year, so we weren’t classmates or anything. Instead, we were both in the Kendo club. I still vaguely remember a scrappy little brat swinging around a sword recklessly. That must’ve been him.
“Ah, Enjoufusa-san. Long time no see, indeed. You’ve grown so much; I didn’t recognize you at all.”
I decide to keep my face blindness a secret like before and feed him a half truth.
“C’mon, Senpai. Spare me the honorifics. You can just call me like you used to.”
“All right then, Enjoufusa.”
“Eh, still my last name? Boo, I was hoping we’d be on first name basis by now.”
I don’t quite remember what I used to address him by, but I highly doubt I was using the first name of an underclassmen I wasn’t too close to.
“Uh, anyways, what are you here for, Enjoufusa. I don’t suppose it’s anything like we’re coincidentally neighbors now.”
“Ahahah, of course not. Nah, I obviously just came to visit you, Senpai. I heard you were back in town and thought it’d be good to say hello at least once.”
Enjoufusa’s voice is booming with overwhelming friendliness. Ugh, what an amicable guy. If only he wasn’t an underclassman, we might’ve actually been friends back in school, and I would’ve been able to hang out with someone other than Enomoto and her gang.
“W-well, I appreciate the courtesy. Why don’t you come in…”
Bowing my head politely, I begin to show him the way in, when suddenly the bathroom door bursts open.
“Phew, that was pretty relaxing… hm?”
With the utmost worst timing, Enomoto steps out of the bath, right into eyesight of Enjoufusa. She was wearing the bit-too-small clothes I gave her and her hair’s sparkling wet, giving her a refreshingly sensual look.
“Ah.”
“Ah.”
The two of them meet eyes and exchange shocked noises. And then silence…
Oh dear, I’m scared.
“Ehhhhhhhhhh!?!? Enomoto-senpai!? Wh-what are you doing in Hiro-senpai’s bathroom? No, wait, that has to mean… you two hooked up!? OMG, I need to text this to everyone!”
““That’s not it at all!!!””
For the first time since reuniting, Enomoto and I become one as we desperately stop Enjoufusa from sending a mass text that will crush any remaining reputation we have left.
— X X X —
“It’s nice to meet you, I’m Enjoufusa Minato. I was Hiro-senpai’s junior in the Kendo Club. Please treat me well.”
After things settled down a bit, all three of us ended up sitting in the living room to exchange greetings.
With a fresh and youthful spirit, Enjoufusa bows as he introduces himself, kind of like an apprentice samurai.
“Nice to meet you. It seems you already know me, but I’m Enomoto Reika.”
“Ah, yes, I recognize you, Senpai. The other guys were always talking about how pretty you were, and I always saw you and Hiro-senpai together, so I remembered you well.”
“Oh, I-I see. Well, I suppose your friends had some good taste.”
Enomoto folds her arms and turns away, probably blushing a little.
How cute. I wonder why she’s never so bashful around me.
“So, I’m still not sure what Enomoto-senpai is doing here. Is it really as I thought?”
“Ah, no, no, not at all, Enjoufusa. We just ran into each other earlier by total coincidence and apparently Enomoto had tripped in some mud, so I offered her a bath since my place was nearby. Ahaha, she can actually be quite clumsy, you see.”
In order to hide the fact that Enomoto was a runaway, I decide to tell a little white lie.
No sooner does Enomoto tug on my sleeve and whisper into my ear.
“Oi, why do I have to be categorized as a clumsy girl?”
“Put up with it. It’s for both our reputations.”
I’m sure the second last thing she would want is for rumors to spread that she was actually in a relationship with me, of all people. The first last thing, of course, would be actually being in a relationship with me.
Without humoring my answer, Enomoto immediately turns back to Enjoufusa and decides to change the topic.
“So, Enjou-kun, are you close friends with this guy? You must be, if you came all the way to visit him.”
“Ah, well… I’d like to say yes, but the truth is we weren’t too well acquainted. I mean, we had only known each other for a few months before he left so…”
Indeed, it really was only a few months. The incident two years ago happened just after summer break, so for the first year Enjoufusa, it occurred only a few months after he entered the school. Even if we were in the same club, there was little chance for the two of us to really get to know each other before I was being carted off to prison.
“In that case, why did you come to visit? I’m surprised you even remember him at all.”
“Well, while we weren’t really close, I always remembered Senpai distinctly. If I had to put it in words… I’d say that I admired him. I looked up to his swordsmanship.”
“Huh? Really?”
I’m more surprised than anyone else. This is the first time anyone has ever praised me so pure heartedly.
“Oi, Majima. Since when were you good at kendo?”
“I’m not. I’ve never won a single match. Even you could probably beat me.”
Though I was a kendo club member, I wasn’t that serious about it. I only joined to make parents happy and practice mostly consisted of me being beaten up by other members. According to the club captain, my problem was that I always closed my eyes when attacked, so I couldn’t react to the enemy at all. In other words, zero defense, instant loss 2-koma!
“That’s certainly true. Even I would say that Senpai’s rather weak… but that’s not what I meant. I always admired his form. Out of everyone, Senpai had the clearest, most proper sword form I’d ever seen!”
“Is that so…?”
I don’t really get what he’s talking about, but I guess he liked the way I swung my sword. Well, it’s true that just the regular sword swings didn’t involve an opponent, so I could keep my eyes open, but I didn’t really think I was that good at it.
“Anyways, Senpai, why don’t we change locations? I’m grateful that you invited me inside, but since it’s such a rare reunion, let’s go somewhere more fun! We can talk and catch up while playing.”
Suddenly, Enjoufusa’s mood leaps and he’s corralling us to get out of this small, stinky apartment. Is he the type of person who has to be doing something while socializing? As expected of someone with “fire” in their name, his fighting spirit is very fiery.
“Well, I don’t really mind going somewhere else, but what do you have in mind? A family restaurant?”
“Let’s go karaoke! You haven’t had a chance to do it in two years right? So, let’s sing two years’ worth of songs to make up for it!”
He leaps to his feet and makes a dramatic pose, pointing in a direction that I can only assume leads to the karaoke place. For a sportsman who should be practicing his heart out every day, he sure seems to have a lot of spare energy.
“Umm, that’s nice and all, but I just got out of the hospital and cash is tight, so karaoke is a bit…”
“Don’t worry about it. It’s my treat! It would be an honor if you would allow me to pay for you!”
“Well, if you’re that insistent, I can’t really say no… what about you, Enomoto-san?”
“…”
Enomoto is silent. She doesn’t even seem to be paying attention to the conversation.
How strange. Ever since Enjoufusa mentioned karaoke, she suddenly froze stiff.
“Umm, Enomoto-san…?”
“Huh, what? Um, yeah, sure, let’s go.”
She suddenly agrees, perhaps off of reflex more than anything.
“Okay, cool! Then follow me, Senpai!!”
Not noticing Enomoto’s trepidation, Enjoufusa marches on out the door.
And silently, with her head down, Enomoto follows…
— X X X —
Pleasure Palace.
A giant recreation center spanning the entire building.
With karaoke, a bowling alley, an arcade, a bar, café, and more all stuffed into a single building, it was a mega complex aimed to draw in the entire youth population of the area and succeeded greatly at that.
Filled with all sorts of attractions to spend an allowance on, it was the nexus of afterschool activities. Or perhaps it would be more appropriate to call it a hostel for hoodlums, the perfect place to ditch school and kick back.
Indeed, about half of the people here were the no-good type that you shouldn’t look at the wrong way. This was in large thanks to the building’s “don’t see, don’t tell” policy supported by their sparse number of security cameras.
C’mon guys, tighten things up a bit more. If you don’t clean up, you’ll break all the wonderous dreams of the good boys and girls. But of course, my pleas fall on deaf ears like always.
“Yes, one room for karaoke please. Yeah, two hours is fine.”
Fearless or thoughtless, Enjoufusa had brought us here for karaoke and was currently paying for the room while us two waited for him. Well, it’s true that this place does have the biggest selection of songs…
“Hey, Enomoto-san… are you sure you’re okay?”
I take the chance to ask the girl next to me who hadn’t said anything since we left the apartment.
“…”
Silence as always.
But this time, I have a pretty decent idea why she was so shaken up.
“Umm… I can’t promise anything, but… I’ll try to make sure we don’t get the same room.”
Telling her that, I head over to the reception desk to join Enjoufusa and double check which room we would be getting.
Result of negotiations: Room 404 acquired.
Oi, are you trying to kill us, management!?
Well, at least it’s not that room…
As you may remember, two years ago, when I became possessed by a demon, I murdered four students one night in a karaoke room. It was, in fact, at this very establishment where that event took place, so it’s only natural that Enomoto would be on guard now…
Anyways, having acquired a room to ourselves, the three of us headed upstairs and began singing our hearts out. Well, I say the three of us, but Enomoto wasn’t in the mood to sing and I only know ani-songs, so it was mostly just Enjoufusa going wild by himself.
After about an hour of chatting in between songs, the youthful student plopped down onto the sofa exhausted. Seems like it was time to take a five-minute break before more singing.
“Oh, yeah, Hiro-senpai. There was something I wanted to ask you.”
“Hmm, what is it?”
I respond to him without looking up, still busy devouring the honey toast I ordered – when it comes to free stuff at another person’s expense, I am entirely shameless.
“Well, I heard that all the Demon Possessed patients have cool nicknames for their special powers. Is that true?”
“… how on earth did you learn about that?”
“So, it is true!? OMG, what was your nickname!? Tell me, tell me.”
Ah, shit, I messed up. Enjoufusa’s eyes are sparkling, telling me that he won’t stop bugging me until he gets the answer he wants to hear.
“Nicknames for your powers…? We are talking about a disease, right?”
Enomoto gives me a doubtful aura.
“W-well, it’s not really powers or anything. I don’t know if that’s the rumor, but it’s not like Demon Possession gives you a cool special ability or anything…”
“Ehh, it doesn’t? But I heard all about demon possessed doing all this crazy stuff.”
Enjoufusa hops up excitedly. I get the feeling he reads a lot of shounen manga, the type of person who gets excited about cool special attack names. Well, I’m that type of person too.
“Umm, okay, how about we calm down? If you want, I can explain how the so-called demon possession actually works. That should clear up a few things.”
“Ohh, please do, please do.”
Taking one last sip of my ice cream float, I lean back and prepare to fight back the rampant misinformation that seems to be surrounding Agonist Disorder.
“Let’s see… well, the actual biochemistry’s a bit complicated, so I won’t go in-depth on that part. But you guys know how emotions are based around the chemicals in our body, right? Dopamine, Serotonin, Epinephrine, that kind of stuff, right? There’s a very complex but direct link between our physical states and our emotional states. But what happens when those chemicals overflow and damage the receptors which regulate the bodily functions? That circumstance is the core of what we call Demon Possession.”
In other words, in the case of people with demon possession, the extreme emotions within them force an abnormal secretion of neurotransmitters which go on to spread like a toxin and damage the receptors. In response, to quell these emotions, the body warps the condition of the human body to regulate the disorder.
In the early stages, the symptoms resemble that of a mental disorder. An expansion or contraction of “ego”. Friction with other people and a tendency towards individualism. Erratic behavior bordering madness. It’s only natural that filling your brain with toxins would cause you to lose a few screws after all.
But the next stage is where things get funky.
“I’m in pain. I can’t do anything to fix this. Help me.” Says the brain.
“Okay, let me turn into something that can fix this.” Replies the body.
To resolve the constant stress of the toxic emotions which have no outlet, the body creates new functions that are able to deal with the stress, leading to the famed physical transformations.
If you feel pain, you get a painless body.
If you need power, you get a powerful body.
If what you desire is inhumanly possible, then you just have to become inhuman.
Altogether, there are three factors to demon possession.
The affected region that abnormally secretes chemicals,
The new function, the ‘special ability’ borne from that,
And the cornered emotions that caused the whole thing to begin with.
That is the crux of Agonist Syndrome, a disorder caused by an out of control mind.
“I see… so it’s like a mental illness that becomes a physical one.”
Enjoufusa, who was nodding along attentively the whole time, seems amazed.
“Well, that’s one way to put it. And those new abilities borne from the disorder are what you’re probably referring to as special powers. Certainly, those are things that no normal human can do, so I can understand why you might be impressed, but I wouldn’t envy them. Those so-called powers are literally built from pain. I’m sure that most demon possessed would rather never have had them to begin with.”
“Ah, I see… sorry about that, Senpai. I carelessly said something insensitive.”
Enjoufusa sulks, probably feeling like he did something bad. Ah, he doesn’t need to beat himself up that much, in my opinion.
“W-well, it is true that some of the new functions feel like they’re straight out of a manga… And the nicknames do have a cool factor to them.”
There was a certain someone in the hospital who loved giving out nicknames, so she went out of her way to come up with cool names for all the other demon possessed. And since they were convenient for referring to the different symptoms each patient had, even the doctors began using them. In the end, you just can’t underestimate the sheer marketability of special attack names.
I try to lift Enjoufusa’s spirits by telling him that.
But the moment I do, he vigorously raises his head again.
“Eh, really? Tell me, tell me! What was your ability name?”
Oi, don’t change moods so quickly! Now it makes it look like you weren’t sorry at all, earlier.
“Umm… it’s a little embarrassing but… Peacemaker. That was the nickname she gave me.”
“Ooooohhhh, that’s so cool! What does it mean?”
“Oh, no, it’s not that unique. It’s just a portmanteau of Peace and Pacemaker.”
“That’s rad. Whoever came up with it definitely has good taste!”
Oh, dear, he has the naming sense as her. That’s never a good sign.
“…”
“U-umm, is there anything you wanted to ask about, Enomoto-san?”
I sheepishly peek at the girl sitting next to me with folded arms. She hadn’t said anything all throughout my lecture, and I wasn’t even sure if she was listening to it or not.
“Not really… I guess just one thing. Based on your explanation… isn’t it their own fault that they got possessed? So, isn’t it also their fault if they commit a crime or something?”
Ahh, what a poignant question. Enomoto’s as keen as always.
“Well, according to the official court rulings, it’s not. It might be hard to comprehend, but mental illness is a real thing and the insanity defense has some pretty solid groundwork under it.”
In the case of demon possession in particular, there are the two camps: the protectors who insist that the carriers of Agonist Syndrome are all victims, and the anti-protectors who are gung-ho about demonizing the demon possessed. Even after ten years, it’s still a hotly debated topic, so you could say that there’s no real right answer.
“… what about you, Enjoufusa? I’d like to hear your opinion.”
“Eh, me? Well…”
The underclassman takes a moment to think with a side of honey tea. He seems to be taking the matter surprisingly seriously.
“Well, my dad’s always talking about how it’s their own fault for getting demon possessed. If they had lived more honest lifestyles, they wouldn’t have been tempted by a demon. That’s why we shouldn’t show them any mercy, that kind of thing.”
“Oh dear, that’s not what I’d want to hear from him…”
Enjoufusa’s dad is the city’s Chief of Police. If that is his stance on the issue, it’s bound to have an influence on the mindset of the other law enforcement officers as well.
“But personally, I don’t agree with my dad. I don’t think it’s their fault. I’m sure that all the demon possessed are good people who wouldn’t normally do those kinds of things. It’s the demons’ fault for possessing them!”
“N-no, like I told you, there aren’t any actual demons…”
He’s a little confused, but his spirit seems to be in the right place. Enjoufusa really is a good man with a good heart. You need those kinds of people in the world.
“Ah, is that why you don’t seem so scared of me, Enjoufusa?”
“Yeah, that’s right. I know for sure Hiro-senpai isn’t a bad person. The Hiro-senpai I know would never kill someone. So, it had to have been a demon that made him do it!”
With a heart as clear as glass, Enjoufusa Minato eagerly declares my innocence.
I can’t say I agree with the overzealous optimism, but I do appreciate his belief in me.
“… hmph, I don’t know about that.”
And at the same time, Enomoto’s mood has dropped proportionally.
“Umm, Enomoto-san…? Are you perhaps really angry right now?”
“… not really. Just disgusted.”
With each word, there was an unmistakably increasing mad mojo aura exuding off of her.
“I was just thinking it sure sounds pretty pathetic. ‘It’s not our fault’, ‘The demons made me do it’, ‘We’re the real victims, here’… sure is convenient for a bunch of murderers. All I see are a pack of criminals patting themselves on the back and licking their wounds.”
A voice as cold as ice. A frigid rejection that burnt off any compassion with frostbite.
“H-hey! Don’t you think that’s going too far, Enomoto-senpai?”
Enjoufusa gets to his feet, his chest tightening angrily.
“Am I? No matter how you dress it up, they still killed people, right? It’s their own emotions that made them crazy, so isn’t it really their own responsibility?”
And facing him head on without budging was the stubbornly cool Enomoto.
“Emotions aren’t a crime! It’s the disease that turned those emotions into mania. At that point, it’s not their fault anymore.”
“But the end result is that they’re going out there and murdering people, right? The disease works by giving you the power you want to solve your problems. So, in other words, those people want to do bad things. They’re bad people.”
“E-everyone has dark thoughts once in a while. But it’s the disease that enables them. It’s too harsh to ruin their lives for that.”
“I’m not saying they should be killed or anything, but they’re clearly dangerous to society. They should stay locked up for the rest of their lives!”
“It’s not like they’re putting maniacs back on the street. The danger level is minimized. Why are you acting so scared?”
“Of course, I’m scared! I could’ve died!!”
Her booming voice echoes through the room, silencing it completely and painting it red with anger. Though her arms hadn’t moved one bit, it felt as if she had smacked me hard in the face.
“… Enomoto-san…”
“… shut up. I don’t want to hear it from you.”
She scowls at me, full of clear, uncensored spite. For a moment, she keeps silent, taking a few, necessary calming breaths. And then, in a quiet, but harsh voice, she speaks.
“… that night, I was here. When it happened, I was singing karaoke with my friends, just a few rooms down from the crime scene. Rooms are soundproof, of course, so we didn’t even know what was going on the whole time. And when I found out that there was a murder, that the murderer was someone I knew, that it had happened so close to me… of course I was scared.”
Her head hangs as if staring deep down into her own heart.
“I… couldn’t get it out my head. For a whole year, I had gone to school with a murderer and never even knew what he was capable of. I had been just a few rooms away from death. It could have been me! What if the person he wanted to kill was me!?”
Clutching her head, she began to tremble with her entire body. Not just fear, but absolute horror had taken hold of her heart.
“I couldn’t stand the thought. I began having nightmares of getting killed by someone I knew. The most innocent seeming person I knew ended up being a murderer… so couldn’t anyone become one too? How do I know which of my friends could snap one day and kill me? I couldn’t trust anyone at all. The whole world suddenly become so scary… And just when I was starting to get over it, after two long years… this guy fucking comes back. And he’s acting as dopey and nice as before, like he’s mocking me. But I just know! I know he’s planning to kill me!!”
Even her voice has broken down completely, reduced to crackling shrieks of hysteria. Hugging herself tightly, she begins to sob uncontrollably, holding nothing back anymore.
“Enomoto-san…”
Without thinking, I try to reach out to her in order to comfort her, but she senses it immediately.
“Stay away from me!!!”
She screams and jumps away to the other end of the room. I don’t even need to see her face to know it’s one of abject terror. She really is absolutely terrified of me.
I wonder. When she agreed to stay at my place last night, was it because she was afraid I would kill her if she said no? How much fear must she have felt, sleeping under the same roof as me?
I don’t know… but I do know what I should say. Not for her sake, but for my own.
“Umm… Enomoto-san. I know that you hate me and don’t want me to do anything, but… could you at least hear me out a bit? I still haven’t said my piece yet.”
“… what?”
“Well, what I talked about earlier was just the legal rulings and some popular opinions. I still haven’t given my thoughts on the issue. Before you run away, I’d like it if you heard them.”
Fidgeting awkwardly, unsure how to express myself, I sigh as I sink into the sofa and try to put my feelings into words so that Enomoto can understand.
“It’s true that the demon possessed aren’t entirely responsible for their actions. Their brains literally went haywire, making them lose their sanity; they can’t do anything about that. Even if I wasn’t one of them, I’m sure I’d be rather sympathetic to them. But, at the same time, perhaps because I am one of them, I feel like they aren’t entirely exempt from responsibility either. Of course, I’m not either.”
Clasping my hands together tightly, I hang my head and stare at the floor, not unlike Enomoto was doing earlier.
“As Enomoto-san said earlier, nothing changes the fact that I did kill people. No one else made me do it. I did it myself. I wanted to kill people. I actually went through with killing people. And while it happened, I felt good about doing it. That is all absolutely true. So, I think that I do deserve some punishment for it.”
I’ll never forget. That night, as I slaughtered and butchered my victims, how it felt. How their blood danced in the air, and their screams echoed through the room. Nor will I ever forget the euphoric bliss I felt doing so.
“Y’know, when I was being interviewed at the hospital to see if I was ready to be discharged, the main question they asked me was if I regretted killing people. And I personal think that’s the core of the matter: regret. If someone doesn’t regret the bad things they’ve done, then surely they’ll do it again. But if they do… are they still a bad person, anymore? I don’t know, but I do think it’s highly unlikely they’ll ever do it again. So, that’s what I decided on.”
There are people in this world I can’t repent to; the ones whose lives have already been lost. But at the very least, for those who are still here, I need to do everything I can for them.
So, having reconfirmed my resolve, I get up and slowly start approaching Enomoto.
“E-eh? Wh-what are you doing?”
She quickly gets scared and tries to back away, only to realize that she was already up against a wall – no escape at all.
But even before she can scream, I stop in my tracks, a few steps away from her, and immediately crumble on the ground. Bent over on my knees, shoving my forehead onto the ground, I prostrate before her.
In the end, this is all I can offer her. I can’t do anything to ease her fear and I can’t erase the pain she’s gone through. The damage my betrayal of her trust has caused can never be repaired.
All I can do is be honest.
“Enomoto-san, I’m sorry.”
— X X X —
“Um, well, it’s been quite the day, Senpai. I’ll see you later.”
“Uh, yeah, See ya, Enjoufusa.”
After my awkward apology, the phone abruptly interrupted everything with news that the end of our karaoke session had come. With nothing settled, we were booted out of the room and forced back out onto the chilly streets.
Perhaps sensing he was now a third wheel, Enjoufusa immediately excused himself, leaving only Enomoto and I left, standing just outside the building in tense silence.
Now then… I wonder what I should say. After calming down from her breakdown, Enomoto’s been completely unresponsive, just staring at the ground in deep introspection. Should I give her some time and space? But I don’t even know what she’s going to do next. She doesn’t have anywhere else to stay, but I’m sure she doesn’t want to continue sleeping under the same roof as the murderer who traumatized her.
While I’m contemplating such matters, though, the tense silence is suddenly broken.
“Hey… Majima.”
I almost jump at the surprising sound, so soft that it was almost inaudible.
“Y-yes? Wh-what is it?”
“… can I ask you something about Agonist Disorder?”
“G-go ahead…”
Enomoto’s shoulders sink as she makes one last strained sigh.
“Well… you said that the disorder is borne from extreme negative emotions, right? Then… let’s say that there was someone else who was responsible for the possessed’s negative emotions. Would you say then that it was that person’s fault that the carrier got possessed?”
A surprisingly difficult question. Certainly, one could argue that, in the example of abuse, the abuser was the one who forced the victim into that state. It’s a topic that’s still heavily debated, whether or not a victim killing their abuser is considered self-defense. I certainly can’t give her a definitive answer, so I just do my best to think about it.
“That’s difficult to say but… in my opinion, then, I’d say that’s it’s 50/50. Maybe 60/40 the other person’s fault.”
“I see…”
Enomoto inhales deeply, tensing up once again. At that moment, I get the feeling that her shoulders would continue to stay tensed afterwards, for a long, long time.
Then, without me noticing, she stretches out her hand and pulls on my sleeve softly.
“Hey. Can I stay with you for a bit longer?”
She asks me sincerely, against all my expectations. Even so, I didn’t even need to think about it. My answer was already decided a long time ago.
“… yeah. As long as you want.”
3/Lover
April 22nd.
Two weeks after I met Enomoto and she began living with me.
The time flew by in a flash as I scrambled about to try and find a job. As you’d expect, it isn’t exactly easy for a demon possessed to come into employment of any sort. Any sensible employer’s gonna turn you away and even certain government services don’t apply to us. For example, we aren’t even allowed to get driver’s licenses.
So of course, the only choice left is to find a non-sensible employer and that means dipping your toes in some shady businesses. It’s been one hell of a rocky, dirty two weeks, but I finally managed to get my hands on a stable income.
It was such a pain that I almost gave up partway through, but I managed to hang on. These kinds of things are a necessity for reintegrating into society, so I had to do my best.
Besides, I now have two mouths to feed.
“Haaah… I’m home.”
“Mmmn, welcome back~”
As I stumble into the apartment after a hard day at work, I’m greeted lovingly by my caring roommate and best friend… at least, that’s what I wish would happen.
Instead, as I enter the apartment, I find Enomoto lying lazily on the floor while watching TV. These two weeks, while I was doing intense job hunting, she’s been doing her best to become a housewife minus the wife part. In other words, she’s completely become a NEET.
Well, I did say she could stay as long as she wanted, so I’m not about to complain. Besides, I’m just happy that she’s doing okay.
“Ugh, I’m tired…”
I immediately collapse on the floor next to Enomoto after finally making it back home.
“Ah, good work, good work. Must be tough.”
She praises me dispassionately. Ah, I feel so loved.
“By the way, what do you even do anyways? You never told me.”
“Ah, nothing much. I don’t really get it myself, but I’m supposed to sell flour to people or something like that…”
Enomoto turns to me, her breasts jiggling doubtfully.
“Oi. I’m pretty sure that’s not flour…”
“Oh, no, I know what you’re thinking, but it is actual flour. Tested it myself; it’s legitimate wheat. That’s exactly why I’m so confused…”
I fear that I may have stumbled into some weird world of specialized, black market flour selling and I don’t even know why.
“Ahhh, tired…”
I sink into the floor, thoroughly exhausted.
“Hey, shouldn’t you move to the bed? You’ll catch a cold like that.”
“Too tired… can’t move… I am now one with the floor, the floor is one with me…”
“Haah, seriously you…”
Exasperated, Enomoto pushes herself off the floor.
I was expecting her to maybe pick me up and drag me to the bed, but she surprisingly just sat back down on her knees.
“Can’t be helped. Here, you can rest here.”
She pats her lap intently.
… eh? Wait, what, is she seriously offering what I think she is?
“D-don’t misunderstand. If you break, who am I going to smooch off of? So, I’m just making an investment towards your capability to rest.
To be honest, I don’t even know what the hell she’s talking about, but I won’t disagree with it.
“Wh-what? You don’t want it?”
“N-no, not at all! I’m incredibly honored. Please allow me to accept your offer.”
Before she can change her mind, I crawl towards her and dig right into my gift.
Slowly and carefully, I rest my head on Enomoto’s lap. The moment I do, I feel an intense bliss wash over me as I’m smothered by immense softness.
This is it. This is all I needed. Just by placing my head here, all of my fatigue and worries are evaporating. Is this what paradise feels like? Perhaps this was all I ever wanted.
While Enomoto’s super self-conscious about her upper body, always hiding her arms at all costs, her lower body is super defenseless. With her trademark miniskirt, those luscious legs of hers were always on display and it was quite troubling for my weak-willed heart. Lately, I’ve found myself looking at them as much as her chest. And now, I’ve finally been given the chance to rest upon them.
This is my nirvana. This is my reward for all my hard work. I want to spend the rest of my life on this lap…
Ring ring ring~
“Ah, Majima, your phone.”
… this is paradise. I’ll never leave this haven of happiness…
Ring ring ring~
“Hey, don’t you need to pick that up?”
… nothing can interrupt my long awaited relaxa—
RING RING RING!
“Goddammit, who dares pry me away from heaven!”
I angrily get up at last and run over to grab the phone.
“Ah, Hiro-senpai, how are you doing? It’s me, Enjoufusa Mina—”
I quickly hang up.
Okay, now then, back to paradise…
Ring ring ring~
“Hiro-senpai, why’d you hang up? Did something happen?”
“… what the hell do you want, Enjoufusa?”
It seems that the universe really doesn’t want me to be happy today.
“Are you free right now, Senpai? I really need to talk to you about something important. Can you come to the café on the corner? You know the one.”
“Haahh… fine. I don’t really mind.”
I reluctantly agree to meet up and hang up. If he says it’s important, then I have no doubt that it’s actually important. Better to hear him out.
“Sorry, Enomoto-san. It looks like I have to head out again. Are you okay eating dinner alone tonight?”
“Hm? Yeah, sure. Take care.”
“I’ll be heading out then. Oh, and remember to lock up.”
Bidding her farewell, I rush back out to hear whatever this important thing is.
— X X X —
“So, what’s this about?”
Scrambling over to the café he mentioned, I found Enjoufusa sitting alone in one of the booth tables. I expected him to greet me cheerfully, but he looked surprisingly serious today.
“Hey, Senpai. If you don’t mind, I’ll keep it short today. Have you heard about the Demon Slayer going around?”
“Hm, what’s that? A popular new anime?”
“I’d probably watch it if it were, but that’s not it. It’s actually the name of a serial killer that popped up recently.”
The moment he says so, I feel a chill run down my back.
“Serial Killer? … oi, is he called Demon Slayer because…”
“That’s right. Because he slays demons. In other words, the killer’s been going around killing demon possessed. Four dead already, starting from last month.”
Enjoufusa sighs heavily, probably frowning as well. I’m not much happier.
“So then, the reason you called me here today was…”
“To warn you, of course. There’s a good chance that you might be the killer’s next target.”
Damn. I was hoping I was wrong, but it seems my bad feeling was true after all. Obviously, if there’s someone going around killing demon possessed, I’d be in danger too.
I get the strong feeling this whole ordeal is going to be a bit of a pain.
“Sorry, Enjoufusa, but do you think you can tell me more details?”
“Of course, Senpai. That’s why I called you here after all. If you don’t mind the gruesome stuff, I gathered the data I could get my hands on. Please look over it.”
Enjoufusa hands me a folder and I immediately start leafing through it.
Incidents began last month, now five cases linked to him and four dead, the last one happening just a few days ago. And indeed, all of the victims were posthumously diagnosed as demon possessed.
Each incident went through a similar pattern. First the demon possessed would commit some crime that would reveal their abnormality. They’d go on the run and the police would prepare to hunt them down. But before that, the serial killer came in, killed the demon possessed himself, and then fled before the police arrived. In other words, a devious case of kill stealing.
All of the victims that had been killed had their bodies sliced open and at least one body part missing from them. The cutting was done in a weird manner; the incisions seemed pretty precise, as if done surgically, but the insides were a complete bloody mess, as if a wild dog had ravaged them.
“Well, Senpai? Do you see anything notable?”
“… yeah, a little. But I’m confused about one part. This girl doesn’t belong here, right?”
I place one of the files on the table for Enjoufusa to see. On it is the profile for one of the victims, a blond middle-school-age girl.
“Ah, as expected with Senpai. Yeah, this one’s an especially strange case.”
Arakawa Mary.
Age: 13.
Japanese with some foreign blood.
Murdered her own mother and immediately ran away.
After running away, she allegedly ran into the Demon Slayer at night and got into a fight with him. She was defeated and then left on the doorstep of the local police station.
“For some reason, she’s the only one the Demon Slayer attacked and didn’t kill. The police have no idea why, but they’re theorizing that it might be because she was just a child and not worth killing…”
“Oh, no, that’s not it all. I’m saying that she’s not involved with the Demon Slayer. I’m the one who defeated and captured her.”
“Huh?”
Enjoufusa freezes, left completely starstruck by my revelation, before finally exploding.
“Ehhhhh?? The one who attacked her was you, Senpai!?”
“Yeah, yeah, no need to overreact. You’re causing a fuss.”
I stick out a hand to calm him down. After a few deep breathes and a few slurps of cola, he regains his composure.
“Oh wow. I never would’ve guessed that Hiro-senpai was the Demon Slayer…”
“Oi, oi, stop jumping to conclusions. The only one I fought was Mary-chan. The rest of these cases have nothing to do with me.”
It was April 8th, the day I met Enomoto.
I had been coming home from some late-night job hunting when I ran into the Mary girl by complete accident. Didn’t really want any trouble, but she attacked me first, so I defeated her out of self-defense.
After I knocked her out, I chopped off her hair with a knife to render her powerless and carried her to the police station with a note describing her identity, situation, and how to handle her.
And then, on my way back from the police station, I just happened to reunite with Enomoto.
“But wait, why’d you have to do it all mystery-like, Senpai. If you just leave an anonymous note like that, of course the police would assume it was the serial killer trying to avoid the police.”
“C’mon, did you forget that I just got released from the hospital? I’m on strict probation right now. Cause any trouble and I get thrown back in, no chance of escape this time. So, there’s no way I could let the officials know I got into a fight with another demon possessed.”
“Oh. I guess that makes sense.”
“Of course, it does. Which is why you better not tell your dad about this.”
I take a worried sip of water. The day I make a wrong step, the Evil Tomato will come to lock me up for good.
“Anyways, Enjoufusa, what are the police doing about this? If there’s this much data and it’s gotten this bad, surely they must be on the hunt already.”
“You’ve got it right, Senpai. Since a few days ago, the police have begun tracking down the demon possessed and have already narrowed him to some likely locations. The problem isn’t finding him though, it’s whether they can do anything about him.”
Enjoufusa points to a particular file for me to read. The details on it aren’t comforting.
It describes a chance encounter between an officer and the suspect. End result: he ended up firing two bullets before the suspect fled away. The problem is that there was no sign of bloodshed at the scene afterwards, nor of the bullets. If they can’t find the bullets, it means the shots didn’t miss. But if there’s no blood, it means that the bullets didn’t hit the suspect. The police were befuddled at this strange paradox.
“What do you think about this, Senpai?”
“Me? Well, I’d say it’s pretty obvious. The officer’s aim was spot-on, but the bullets didn’t draw blood… Which means, somehow, the suspect was able to catch the bullets without getting hurt… that’s the only logical possibility.”
Even though I say that it’s logical, the scenario I propose is absolutely absurd. It’s impossible for humans to catch bullets. The only way that can be done…
“So, you’re saying the Demon Slayer is himself a demon possessed?”
“Only thing I can think of.”
Find me a non-demon possessed capable of catching bullets and I’ll give you as much money as you want.
“Rather than that, Enjoufusa, I’m more surprised the officer fired on him. What’s up with that?”
“The officer said that he was in a state of extreme panic due to encountering the suspect and was unable to maintain proper judgement.”
“No, no, not that. Well, that’s important too, but we’ll talk about it later. I mean, why on earth did he have a gun on him to begin with?”
Don’t know how it is elsewhere, but over here, policemen usually don’t have service weapons on them – they’re only issued before an arrest and then immediately returned after. Even during emergencies, you had to have it holstered and there are plenty of policemen who refuse to shoot even if given permission. For better or worse, intimidation via bullets is a quick way to permanently say bye bye to your career.
“Ah, that’s father’s fault. He pushed for a special exemption in the case of dealing with demon possessed. Says its different than normal civilians; cops need all the firepower they can get to deal with monsters.”
“Scary… you sure your dad ain’t a monster himself?”
“He’d shoot you if he heard you say that, Senpai…”
Note to self: don’t get on Papa Enjoufusa’s bad side. Oh, wait, I’m a demon possessed. I’m automatically on his bad side.
“Well, if the police are being that gung-ho, then things should be settled soon, right?”
“Probably. They’re preparing for an arrest soon, assembling a special task force to deal with the serial killer. Just in case, a special inspector is apparently coming to town tomorrow too. I figure it’ll be done by sunset tomorrow.”
“So then, there’s not much to worry about?”
Huh, after all that, I was starting to get pretty scared, but it seems like the police should be able to settle it all pretty quickly. Doesn’t look like I’ll even need to worry.
“Senpai, it’s not that good. On the flipside, it means that the police can’t do anything until tomorrow. What if the Demon Slayer attacks you today? That’s why I came to warn you.”
“Ahhh… indeed, that’d be pretty bad.”
It’s pretty obvious, but I’m not exactly a fighter. I barely beat Mary and she was a literal child. If a full-grown demon possessed came at me, I’m pretty sure I’d lose in a fight.
“Well, even so, that’s just a hypothetical, right? Besides, it’s not like the Demon Slayer knows about my existence.”
In all the other cases, the demon possessed did something that revealed themselves and were already wanted, before the Demon Slayer swooped in and took the kill. I’ve been a good boy and keeping my head down lately, so it’s not like he knows to come after me.
“Did you forget, Senpai? The mayor was on TV talking about how you got discharged. Everyone in the city knows about you.”
“Ah, shit.”
That’s right. Old Mr. Mayor all but broadcasted my name and face. Ain’t anything low-key about that.
“Even I was able to find out where you live and visit you the other day. If the Demon Slayer’s investigative ability is so good that he consistently manages to outpace the police, he almost certainly already knows who you are and where you live.”
At that moment, a bad premonition hit me. The image of a demon breaking down the door at night and eating me whole.
“… okay, yeah, that’s pretty bad… but, it’s not hopeless. He only knows my address, right? So, what if I’m not home?”
“Huh?”
“The police will catch him by tomorrow, right? So, I just need to stay off the radar for a day. I can easily spend that much time in a cheap hotel or even an overnight café, if I need to. It’s not too much of a problem.”
“Wow, as expected of Senpai. Your petty survival instincts are unbeatable.”
“I’d rather you call it lateral thinking, but sure.”
Sometimes I feel like Enjoufusa admires all of the wrong things about me.
“Alright then. Thanks for everything, Enjoufusa. I’ll be sure to pay you back one day. For now, I better get going. Need to get my stuff so I can stay the night at a hotel. It’s getting late and it’d be bad if the Demon Slayer manages to catch me leaving my apartment.”
I get up, ready to leave, but Enjoufusa surprisingly stops me.
“Ah, wait, Senpai. There’s one more thing I wanted to ask you.”
“Huh? What is it?”
“Well… the truth is, while the police are officially preparing to arrest the Demon Slayer… I’ve heard that there are actually a number of people who actually support the serial killer. They’re happy that someone is killing all the demon possessed and cleaning up the city. And even my father is rather ambivalent… What do you think about that?”
Enjoufusa asks me uneasily. Raised in such an anti-demon possessed family, things must be tough for him too. I can tell why his faith might be a little shaky and I wouldn’t blame him if he hated demon possessed as well.
Even so, I answer him clearly.
“It doesn’t matter who the victim or the murderer is. Murder is bad. That’s what I think.”
— X X X —
“Man, things sure are getting troublesome.”
After meeting with Enjoufusa, I rush home as fast as I can, but it was already nearly dark by the time I got back. I need to hurry before the Demon Slayer shows up. Get in, grab some money, let Enomoto know we’re staying somewhere else tonight, get out.
I trudge up the building stairs as fast as I can and trot towards the door—
“… huh?”
The moment I reach the door, I immediately notice something’s wrong. The doorknob on the outside is broken. Someone… broke the lock…
“Enomoto-san!”
I scream as I rip the door open and rush inside.
The apartment is a mess. Broken furniture, things thrown all over the place, damage to the walls, signs of struggle everywhere. But no matter where I look, I can’t find Enomoto.
“Dammit!”
I run back outside and immediately fly back down the stairs. I flip out my phone and call Enjoufusa.
Ring ring ring~
Ring ring ring~
“Hiro-senpai? Did you need something?”
He answers the phone on the second ring, speaking in a slow, relaxed tone. That nonchalance of his pisses me off right now.
“The Demon Slayer attacked already. He got Enomoto!”
“Huh? EH!? Enomoto-senpai!? What happened?”
“No time to explain. Hurry up and get the cops on his ass. He has a captive so there should be plenty of urgency, right?”
“Umm, like I said earlier, they can’t make their move until tomorrow. We need solid proof and official approval before they can make a full force dispatch.”
“Are you serious? Someone’s life is in danger, here.”
Damn, red-tape bureaucracy. Always fails you when you need it the most.
“Fine, I’ll do it myself. You said the police narrowed down his hiding spot, right? Where is it?”
“N-nearby. The old bottle factory and an abandoned warehouse in the industrial district. I’ll send you the addresses now.”
The industrial district… if I run full speed, that’s about 20 minutes away.
“Okay, thanks, Enjoufusa. I’m going in. Collect my corpse if I don’t come back.”
“W-wait, Senpai. A full dispatch is no good, but if we call the cops, they should still send one or two patrol cars—”
“Don’t bother. A few officers won’t be any good. They’ll just get in my way.”
The enemy is someone who can catch bullets. Just a few guys on patrol with no weapons will be little more than cannon fodder. Best bet is to have me take him on alone.
“Then let me help. There’s two locations so we can take one each.”
“Tch… fine. I’ll take the warehouse; you take the factory. But don’t do anything reckless. If you find him, call me and run away pronto.”
“Got it, Senpai!”
He hangs up and sends me the addresses.
Well, then, no two ways about it.
Time for an exorcism.
— X X X —
The warehouse greets me with a shower of dust and a cobweb kiss.
The stench of death is strong here, only overpowered by the smell of age. Lost and forgotten wares crammed as close together as possible make a maze of moldy merchandise. Plenty of shadowy corners to hide a corpse.
No lights inside and it’s almost dark outside. Only the dim orange of sunset lights the interior. In the darkness, each and every stack of pallets looks like a human figure.
“Enomoto-san! Are you here!?”
I call out carelessly, as I stumble around the spooky storehouse. No time for subtlety. If this is the wrong place, I need to hurry up, run to the factory and back up Enjoufusa.
“… huh? M-Majima?”
A weak, lifeless response. Bingo.
“Hold on tight, I’m coming to save you right now.”
I sprint towards the source of her voice but keep running headfirst into random crates I can’t see in the darkness.
“Ugh, j-just hold on. I’m almost there.”
I desperately climb atop one stack and use it to get a higher view.
Found her! She’s near the back wall.
“Enomoto-san!”
I jump off the stack and rush towards her as fast as possible.
“W-wait. No, don’t come here. It’s dangerous. Stay back!”
She calls out to me, but the fear in her voice only spurs me faster. In mere moments, I make it to the back of the warehouse.
She doesn’t look like she’s in the best shape. Her shirt’s been ripped to shreds, revealing her upper body almost completely. Her limbs are stuck to the wall with some sort of industrial clamp. Most notably, I see her bare arms for the first time. Even in the orange hue, I can make out the yellow-brown stains on her arm, a sign of repeated bruising.
“H-hey, idiot. Don’t look.”
“Now’s not the time for that. I’ll be sure to comfort you and tell you how pretty your arms are as much as you want later. Let’s get out of here, first.”
I immediately get to work to figure out a way to free her. These clamps look pretty sturdy. I doubt I can break them with my bare hands. It might faster to look for some kind of key. Or maybe a screwdriver would be more realistic—
“Ah! Majima, behind you!”
“Huh…?”
Before I can even turn, something hard strikes the back of my neck from behind.
— X X X —
Clack Clack Clack Clack
Noises and lights.
Shapes and sparks dance around. A clamoring silence deafens me. What’s happening? I can’t tell up from left. All I know is that it hurts.
“Stop it! G-get away from me!”
A voice. Whose voice? Don’t know. Screaming.
“Hue hue hue, it’s okay. It only hurts at first. I’ll be gentle, so tell me where it is.”
Another voice. Still don’t know. Disgusting laugh.
“No, stop it. I already told you. I’m not possessed.”
First voice again. Familiar. Whose? Enomoto? Enomoto…
“Don’t lie! They said a demon lives there. You were there. You’re possessed too. Stop struggling!”
“H-hey! I’m telling you stop it. Keep that thing away from me. No, stop!”
Sounds of motion. Violent. Struggle. Danger.
Danger? Enomoto.
Enomoto? Danger.
Enomoto is in danger.
Enomoto is in danger. Enomoto is in danger. Enomoto is in danger.
I repeat the words multiple times, but my head won’t connect them. I’m tired. It hurts. I should go back to sleep. Enomoto will wake me up in the morning so I can just rest now—
“Majima, save me!”
My body flares to life.
“Enomoto-san!”
I yell out and get up as fast as my body will let me. Vision and hearing returns, my synapses reconnecting like circuitry. But immediately, I realize the state I’m in.
Just like Enomoto, I’m completely immobilized. Spread eagle, my wrists and ankles are being restrained with industrial clamps. In my case, however, I’m stuck to the floor instead of the wall.
If I didn’t know better, I’d think that I was on some sort of surgical table straight out of a sci-fi movie.
“D-damn these things. What the hell?”
“Huh? Huh huh huh huh? You’re awake already? I’m not done with this one yet, so could you wait for me patiently? No need to shout, I’ll save you too soon.”
The other figure turns to me. A ballooning pile of meat cloaked in a tattered lab coat. In his big meaty hands is a tiny, rusted scalpel.
It doesn’t take a genius to guess that this guy’s the so-called Demon Slayer.
“O-oi, mister. Are you the one whose been going around killing demon possessed?”
“Huh huh huh? Me kill demons? No, no, no, can’t you see I’m slaying, no slaving, no saving, yes saving them?”
He stumbles over his own words while tottering around unbalanced. Looks like he’s already way off his rockers, though I guess you have to be to go around killing folks.
“What are you talking about? All the people you’ve encountered are dead. Is that what you call salvation?”
“No no no yes yes yes. I’m saving them, can’t you see? They were po-possessed by demons so I need to exorcise exercise exorcise them or they can’t go to heaven!”
“… so you’re exorcising them of their demons? And how are you doing that?”
“Obviously, I just have to take out the demon part! That’s so obvious. You’re possessed and you don’t even know that? Hue hue hue!”
Ahh, that explains it. In the report I read, all the victims had their bodies sliced open and at least one body part taken out. The Demon Slayer’s goal is to remove the demon possessed’s “affected region”. Certainly, you can call that the source of the body’s possession.
But it’s not that simple. For certain carriers of A-syndrome, amputation of the possessed body part is possible, but in most cases, it requires a careful and controlled method. Doing it recklessly will just end up killing the patient. Certainly, nothing you can just do with a rusty scalpel.
“Stop it. You’re just killing them. I get that you’re just trying to help, but you’re doing more harm than good. It’ll be a lot safer if they get surgery at the hospital.”
“No no no good no good no good. They’re no good. Take forever. Ten years and no one cured. Too slow to save anyone. I need to do it!”
“Hey there, didn’t you hear the news? Some patients were discharged. It’s just taking a while to study the disease, but everyone will be cured eventually, so you don’t need to—”
“No no no it’s ok ok ok. I can save them. Because I’m the savior. God chose me!”
With a slobbering flair, he raises his hands in the air as if reaching for heaven and I’m finally able to see them.
“H-hey… what are those holes in your hand?”
In the middle of both the Demon Slayer’s palms, there were coin-sized holes that seemed to lead into a dark abyss. From a distance, it almost looked as if those holes were staring at me.
“Huh huh huh huh, you don’t know what these are? They’re stigmata. They’re the sign that God has chosen me! That’s why I have to save everyone!”
“Majima, be careful. Those holes are dangerous. When I tried to run, they pulled me towards him and sucked up my shirt. It’s some kind of vacuum suction power.”
Enomoto warns me, still desperately trying to get out of her restraints.
“No no no, it’s not suction. It’s salvation. I’m accepting everyone’s sins. God gave me this gift so I can save everyone. Because I’m his Son!”
I try to make sense of both of their claims. Holes in his palms. Stigmata. Suction and salvation. Accepting everyone’s sins… could it be?
“Hey. What do you do with the demon parts after you remove them?”
“Huh huh huh I accept them of course. I need to carry everyone’s sons suns sins, everyone’s sins so they can go to heaven. I’m the only one who can do it. I’m the only one with this power. That’s why I’m the chosen one! Hue hue hue!”
So that’s it. He wasn’t just removing the affected regions from demon possessed. No, he was sucking them up into those holes of his. Is that why he’s so fat?
“Say, how exactly is sucking up the demon parts salvation? What does it change?”
“Huh huh huh, can’t you tell? Cutting out the organ is too slow and painful. No good. They’ll die before it’s removed so they can’t go to heaven. But my stigmata sucks them up instantly. It’s removed along with their sins, just before they die, so that they can go to heaven. I’m saving them! I’m the savior! Hue hue hue!”
I understand now. So that’s how it is.
That’s his Agonist Disorder. The affected region is the palms and the ability is vacuum suction. The cause is religious zealotry… no, Messiah Complex. In order to do the impossible and save everyone from demons, he bartered for power from a demon. How ironic.
I take a deep breath and calm my heart. I check my rhythm and make sure I can think clearly.
Good, everything’s in check. Let’s roll.
“Hey, Savior-sama… look. I get that you just want to help everyone. I know your intentions are good. But this clearly isn’t the way to do it. Even if you supposedly save everyone, what about yourself? I mean, you’re demon possessed too, right?”
“Huh?”
The bulging man freezes in place.
“Huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh? What what what are you talking about? I’m not possessed. Stooopid.”
“No, no, you clearly are. I mean, those holes in your hand are obviously—”
“I said I’m not possessed. These are stigmata! They’re proof that God chose me. He chose me to save all the possessed people so they can go to heaven. He chose me to save everyone. So, I can’t be possessed!”
The Demon Slayer rages, flailing his arms at me as if I wasn’t able to see his holes beforehand. No, no, I can see them clearly, sir. So please listen to reason.
“Shut up, shut up, I’m right. I’m the only one who can save them. My research is correct; you’re the ones who can’t understand it, you idiots. But that’s why I’m the savior. It’s just like with Christ. No one listened to him either. They hated him because he told the truth. That’s why they hate me to. Otherwise, they’d know I was right. I’m right. I’m going to save everyone! Hue hue hue hue hue!”
He’s mad. He’s absolutely insane. There’s no chance of reasoning with him anymore. So then, there’s only one thing left to do.
“… hey, fake jesus. Leave the girl alone. I’m the one you’re after. I’m the one who needs to be saved. I’ll even make it easy for you. My affected region is my heart. So, come and get it.”
“Huh huh huh? Ah, so you’ve finally seen the light. You want me to save you? Ok ok ok, here I come.”
The lunatic quickly came running the moment I called, tottering towards me in comically clownish steps. And the moment he leans down to cut open my chest,
“Suck on this!”
I slam my left fist into his double-chin jaw.
“Guah!!”
He is sent toppling over and falls onto the floor.
Okay, that should buy me some time. Better get the rest of these clamps off.
“H-how? But the clamps…”
“Wanna know? Take a look for yourself then.”
I remove the rest of the restraints and stand up, before showing the Demon Slayer my hand. In the middle of my palms were coin-sized holes.
“Thanks for telling me how they worked, by the way. I was able to suck up the screws on the clamps thanks to you. Didn’t taste good if you ask me. They did always say I needed more iron in my diet, but I’m not looking forward to tonight’s shit.”
“Huh huh huh huh huh huh huh!?!? That’s impossible! Only I should have those!”
Yeah, yeah, you’re the Chosen One, right? Well, sorry, but it looks like it’s a miracle bargain sale today.
“It’s not that special. We’re both possessed so obviously I’d also have a new function. Unfortunately, mine isn’t very flashy, so I thought I’d borrow yours.”
PeacemakerHeartache Resonance.
That was the new body function, the special ability, I got after being possessed.
Unfortunately, it’s not a very stylish ability, nor is it very dangerous.
All it does is let my heart resonate with another person’s heart. Specifically, my heart is able to mimic the shape, muscle movements and rhythm of another person’s heart.
See, not very cool right? Pretty useless if you ask me.
… fine, fine, I’ll explain in more detail.
Well, you know the term heartache, right? You might think that it’s just a romantic metaphor, but it’s surprisingly literal. When a person is filled with negative emotions such as sadness or stress, their heart literally hurts. The associated hormones cause an overstimulation of the vagus nerve which leads to pain, nausea and/or chest tightness. This is the biological cause behind what we call a broken heart.
So, naturally, if I were to resonate with the heart of someone experiencing extreme negative emotions, I would end up feeling the same pain as them. I would receive their emotions.
That is the true ability of my new function, the power to share someone else’s pain.
Oh, and one more thing. Do you remember what happens to a demon possessed’s body when they experience extreme emotions and intense pain?
“Managed to make it just in time. I’m glad you’re so talkative, Demon Slayer-san. Even when I copy the emotions, it still takes some time for my body to respond and create the new function.”
“No… no no no, you’re not allowed to do that. Only I’m allowed to have those. God will be mad if you copy them! He won’t let you go to heaven anymore!”
“Ahh, don’t worry about that. I’m sure the big guy already hates my guts. No doubt about it.”
Well, no point trying to reason with him anymore.
“So, Savior-sama, what are you going to do? We have the same power, so we’re evenly matched. At this rate, we’ll be in eternal stalemate. How about we call it quits and you let the two of us go?”
“No no no no no, stop it. That’s my gift. I’m the Chosen One! Give it back to me!”
Without even hearing me, he lashes out violently. He stretches out both arms towards me and begins sucking.
An incredibly strong force begins pulling on me as all the air in the area begins flying towards him along with all sorts of dust and debris. Any matter that gets close to his holes is broken down by the vacuum and sucked in like nothing.
“Fine, we’ll do it the hard way.”
I counter with my own attack. Soon enough, the two vacuums begin to battle, canceling out each other’s pull. Like I said, we’re immediately put in a stalemate.
“Now what, Demon Slayer-san? We’ll be at this for hours at this rate.”
“No no not not not not not yet! I’m not done yet! I’m going to save everyone! I’ll accept everyone’s sins!”
Slowly but surely, before my very eyes, the holes in his palms began to get larger.
Oi, oi, he can do that?
As the holes expand, the force of his suction also gets stronger. The tables begin to turn and I’m slowly being pulled closer to him. Oh, this is bad. Is it just me or is he also getting bigger?
“H-hey, wait a minute. This isn’t good. You need to stop now.”
“No no no no no, I won’t stop. Stop telling me to stop. I’m right! If I don’t save them, who will? Only I can do it! Everyone should praise me as their savior!”
“Like I said, that’s not— Ugh, forget it. Just stop this now! I can’t keep this up much longer.”
Second by second, the holes on his hand were getting even larger and the power of his suction was increasing exponentially. No doubt, in one minute, he’d completely overpower me and stuff me into his black holes.
“It’s not too late, man. I get how you feel. I’m sure there’s someone out there who’d be happy that you’ll save them. But you can’t do that like this, right? At the end of the day, we have to carry on our own sins. No one else can carry them for us. So, you really need to stop now!”
I can feel it. I can literally feel the pain in his heart.
Desperation. A genuine desire to want to save others. But that’s not all. Pride. Resentment. Grief. Jealousy. Disbelief. Self-loathing. He wasn’t able to save anyone. He needed to save everyone, but no one would listen to him. That’s why he fought so hard by himself.
But even so—
“NO! NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!”
He yells louder than the vacuum, as if his cries were meant to reach heaven.
He prays harder than any believer, as if seeking salvation for himself.
But now, it’s too finally late. He’s completely full.
“I’m the Chosen One! I’ll be the Messiah! I’ll save everyone! I’ll save—”
Pop!
“Huh?”
A sound of utter confusion. To the very end, he was so blinded by his superiority, he didn’t even notice the state of his own body. Not even the fact that it was rapidly expanding in size.
“Wh-what is this…?”
He collapses onto the ground and begins to roll, easy since he’s completely round.
“Ahh, I told you to stop before it was too late. You finally hit your limit.”
Sighing, I cancel my own vacuum and walk up to the fallen roly-poly.
“Earlier, I assumed that you were so fat because you were absorbing the body parts of other people, but that didn’t make sense. An extra heart or few in a month wouldn’t make you that large. No, it wasn’t meat that you were full of. It was air, right?”
Whenever he would use his suction ability, he would inevitably end up sucking in some air as well. If he was only using it moderately to just suck up the desired body part, he’d probably still be okay, but he began to use it more liberally to pull enemies towards him and what not. There’s probably a limit to the amount of air he can take at once. And at the very end, with his largened holes, he was probably intaking massive amounts of air every second, way beyond his limit. He just kept filling himself up with air like some sort of balloon.
And now, he finally popped.
“Sorry, man, but you can’t just accept everything. Humans have a limit to what they can get their hands on. Only God can accept everyone. And you were no God.”
“N-noo… this wasn’t… I was supposed to save…”
With glazed over eyes, the Demon Slayer sprawled across the floor muttering nonsense. I can’t even begin to imagine what’s going on inside that body of his, but I’m sure he suffered some sort of organ damage. I wouldn’t be surprised if something inside him had burst.
“Stay still. You don’t have long. Make your last moment a peaceful one.”
I decide to sarcastically pray for him. With all the shit he’s done, he’ll probably need it.
“N-nooo… please... mercy… please forgive me…”
“Sorry, but I’m all out of forgiveness. You hurt someone I love. Thus, I hate you.”
Filled with utter disgust, I turn away and abandon the lost lamb dying at my feet.
— X X X —
“Awawawa, Enomoto-san, are you okay? I’m sorry that took so long. You’re not hurt, are you?”
“… oi, where did all that coolness from earlier go?”
After defeating the Demon Slayer, I rush over to Enomoto’s side to check on her condition. Thankfully, it doesn’t seem like there are any major wounds on her. I managed to get here before the bastard started his sick dissection.
“Um, um, give me a second. I’ll get you down, right away.”
I quickly undo her restraints and she plops back down onto the ground with a relieved sigh.
“Haah, this has been one hell of a day. What even was that guy’s deal anyways? Well, I guess I should thank you for saving me.”
“No, no, not at all. It was my fault he attacked to begin with. I’m sorry you got dragged into this mess.”
“Is that so? Well, whatever. I just want to get out of here.”
Holding her hand in the dark, I lead Enomoto out of the warehouse labyrinth towards the outside. When we get out, the sun has completely set, painting the industrial district in a harsh black. But among that darkness, a hyperactive puppy could be seen running towards us.
“Senpai! Are you two okay!?”
“Yo, Enjoufusa. You made it just in time.”
Our reliable underclassmen who must’ve sprinted here from the bottle factory as fast as he could comes to a stop in front of us, his entire body heaving from the exhaustion.
“Haahh… haaah… wh-what happened? Is it over?”
“Yeah, I beat the Demon Slayer. He’s inside the warehouse. I’m pretty sure he ruptured something, but he might still make it if you call an ambulance.”
“W-wow, Senpai. You really defeated the Demon Slayer. That’s amazing.”
“Not really. He wasn’t that tough after all. Just a crazed murderer.”
Well, then again, aren’t we all?
“Anyways, Enjoufusa, I need to get out of here. I’m sorry about this, but would it be okay if you took credit for this? I really can’t afford to let this incident be on my record.”
“Ah, of course, Senpai. You can leave the rest to me. I’ll come up with some excuse for the police. Probably just say I was passing by when I found the body.”
“Good work, then. I’ll make it up to you one of these days.”
I give him an appreciative thumbs up. I may have a lot to say about him, but Enjoufusa’s been a huge help lately. I couldn’t ask for a better kouhai.
“Ah, wait, a minute. Enomoto-senpai, your clothes.”
“Hm? Ah, right. They got ripped to shreds and sucked up.”
She looks down at the rags she was left with, also making sure to carefully hide her arms behind her back.
“Here, take my blazer. A lady shouldn’t be walking around like that.”
“Oh… thanks, Enjou-kun.”
Gentlemanly as always, Enjoufusa drapes his blazer over Enomoto’s shoulders.
“All right, I’ll go and call the authorities. I’ll see you guys later!”
“See ya, Enjoufusa!”
Enomoto and I bid him farewell and leave the industrial district, headed back to our familiar part of town. As we do so, though, I find myself groaning a little.
“Ah, now that I think about it, the apartment’s a total wreck. I’m really way too tired to clean it up this late.”
“In that case, wanna stay somewhere else tonight?”
“Well, I was planning to go to a hotel tonight. But then again, I don’t think any reputable establishment would let us in all caked in dirt and in tatters. And I don’t have a lot of money on me. Best I can do is…”
“A love hotel?”
“W-well, yes, but that’s…”
“…”
“…”
“Perv.”
“I didn’t even say anything yet!”
Trading such banter, we return to our regular, daily lives as if that life-threatening battle never happened. As we walk, Enomoto puts on the blazer Enjoufusa gave her, doing her best to fit her arms into the wide sleeves.
“… hey. Did I ever tell you why I ran away from home?”
She suddenly asks while staring at her arms.
“Hm? No, I don’t think so. W-well, you don’t really need to…”
“To be honest, it’s kind of your fault.”
“Ehh? Wh-what did I do?”
She lowers her arms and gives me a quick elbow jab to the ribs.
“It’s because a certain someone decided to go crazy and murder a bunch of people.”
“O-oh. I-is that so…”
Sighing heavily, she stops in place and looks up towards the sky.
“After you broke and went psycho two years ago, I realized just how easy it was for a victim to become a killer. I didn’t want that. I didn’t want to snap like you did. So, I decided I wouldn’t let myself be a victim anymore. Well, easier said than done. I tried standing up to my dad more, but he just beat me harder. Even so, though my body was in more pain… I didn’t feel as desperate anymore. I wasn’t suffocating in that house. So, eventually, after graduation, I finally worked up the courage to run away.”
“… I see.”
I don’t really know what to say. I can’t really offer anything to the two years of struggle that Enomoto went through while I was gone. None of my words can comfort her.
But while I’m stuck trying to think of something to say, the girl in question sneaks up and throws her arms around my neck.
“Geh. E-Enomoto-san?”
“In. Other. Words. It’s all your fault, I don’t have a home now. So, you better make it up to me by letting me stay with you a bit longer.”
“O-of course. I don’t mind if you stay longer. Or rather, I’d be happy if you could stay as long as possible.”
“Oh? So, you want us to live together forever? Till death do us part?”
“E-ehhh? I mean, well… if possible, yes?”
“Pfffft. Okay, okay, then it’s settled.”
For someone who nearly died, Enomoto sure is chipper today. I get the feeling she’s probably smiling. Her breasts are certainly seeming perky right now.
“Oh yeah. By the way, what do you think’s gonna happen to that guy? The Demon Slayer dude.”
“Him? Well, if the ambulance can save him, they will. If not, that’s it.”
I shrug.
Sometime later, I would learn the true identity of the so-called Demon Slayer. Apparently, he used to be a doctor who also studied Agonist Syndrome and tried to cure the infected patients. But after ten years with little progress, he became disillusioned and came up with his own radical, surgical method that was quickly shot down for being too dangerous and risky. For the sake of self-justification, he deluded himself into believing that the other doctors were just jealous of his genius. He came to the belief that he alone could save all the demon possessed which led to the idea that he was a chosen messiah. In the end, though, the person he was really trying to save was just himself.
But, honestly, I don’t care.
“How surprising. I thought you’d give one of your generalities about how he too was a victim or how everyone deserves a second chance.”
“Well, I can’t deny that. A part of me does think that and he probably doesn’t deserve to die. But… I don’t care. Because I hate him.”
That’s all it was. I don’t really think he’s particularly ideologically wrong or anything, and I do sympathize with his desire to save others. His insanity isn’t entirely his fault, so he should probably receive some leniency for it. But at the same time, I just don’t give a damn about the logic. My emotions are telling me that he should just die and that’s what I’m listening to.
“Hate, huh. I never thought I’d hear that word from your mouth.”
Enomoto remarks with amazement. It seems that it’s really surprising.
“C’mon that’s not true. I’m human too. Even I can hate people. Now, that is.”
That’s right. It’s not that hard to hate others. All you need is a reason to hate them. Doesn’t even need to be a good reason, any reason will do. I finally know that now.
“So then, what’s your reason? Why did you hate that guy so much?”
“Eh? W-well… it’s not really that big of a deal. It’s kind of complicated, so I’ll just leave it to your imagination.”
“Really? Cause I clearly remember you saying that it’s because he hurt someone you love.”
“Geh! Y-you heard that?”
I don’t even need to see it to know that there’s a smug smirk on Enomoto’s face right now.
“U-umm, well, you know, Enomoto-san, that’s not, how should I put this, platonic! Yeah, I meant it in a platonic way, you know. So y-yeah…”
“You’re blushing.”
“A-am not! Geez, even now, you’re still bullying me…”
Honestly, at her core, Enomoto really hasn’t changed. She’s still as mean and vile as ever.
“All right, that’s enough loitering. We should hurry and get going. Now about that hotel…”
“Eh? We weren’t joking about that?”
“Oh? I just thought it’d be the right location. After all, a certain someone promised that they’d comfort me as much as I wanted, right?”
Oh dear, the mouth really is the source of all disasters. I really need to learn how to shut up.
“My arms got exposed, so I’m really sensitive today. My maidenly heart’s about to crumble, so I’m going to need a lot of pampering to feel better. Well?”
“Haah… all right, all right. If you want, I’ll happily comfort you all night long. Consider it payment for the lap pillow. So, lead the way, princess.”
“Yay! Then, it’s settled.”
Enomoto runs off and I hurriedly chase after her, not unlike the old days.
It seems that the more things change, the more they stay the same after all. As always, back then and now, I’m at her complete mercy, chasing her back and lapping at her heels.
Who knows how long this fractured relationship will last? Will the friction between us eventually tear us away? Or will we continue to find comfort in fellating each other’s ego?
Who the hell knows? But one thing’s certain. Right now, I’m pretty happy. I’m glad I returned to society. I’m glad I was able to reunite with my old friend. I’m glad to be human.
I hope that these halcyon days can continue forever.
So, for now, let’s start by being extra gentle tonight.
/ Lost Lamb Lovers – End
2.5/Found
This is the story of the past.
This is a story that ends in murder.
Two years ago, I was being bullied.
The culprits were three of my female classmates:
Hiraizumi Fuyuka.
Tsubota Chisa.
Enomoto Reika.
I guess they just relished in picking on the weak, so they honed in on me, the weakest person around. They’d do stuff like make me buy them lunch, give them my money, or do their homework, all while openly mocking me of course. Sometimes they’d do extra cruel things like writing profanities on my body with permanent marker and then taking pictures of them to blackmail me with later, or just gathering around and taking turns stomping on me.
Passive and pathetic as I am, I didn’t do anything to oppose them. All I did was take it and go home to cry myself to sleep. Speaking of which, my parents started getting concerned when they noticed me coming home all the time with bruises. But I was too ashamed to admit I was getting picked on by three girls, so I lied that I had joined the kendo club, which was why I was coming home injured. Parents got so happy for me that they went ahead and bought me kendo gear, so I had to live the lie and join the kendo club after all. But I only actually went every other day, since I’d be pulled away by the bully girls on the other days.
It was the most brutal and depressing part of my life. Each and every day, I struggled to get up in the morning, knowing what was waiting for me at school.
But, despite, what you may expect, I didn’t despise my bullies. No matter how much they tormented me, I never hated or blamed them.
Tsuboita Chisa was an honor student from a strict household with extreme expectations put on her. Picking on someone else was the only outlet she had to feel like she had some control of her own life and the people around her.
Hiraizumi Fuyuka had herself been bullied and shunned back in junior high. During her highschool debut, she changed herself and managed to claw her away into a friend group that didn’t hate her. In order to keep her friends, she played along with the other two bullies. In her eyes, it was eat or be eaten, and she intended to be on the top of the food chain.
And Enomoto Reika, the ringleader of the bullies, suffered domestic violence and abuse at home on a daily basis. Her arms were permanently stained due to repeated bruising, and her attempts to hide it from everyone by always wearing long sleeves even during summer and distracting from her upper body with a miniskirt against school regulations earned her the ire of the teachers. Not knowing any other way to interact with others, she took out her frustrations and anger on me.
In the end, each of one them had what I felt were good reasons for making my life hell. I couldn’t bring myself to blame them and I found myself sympathizing with them. Truth be told, I even considered the three of them my only friends. While everyone else was happy to turn a blind eye to my situation, the only people who spent time with me and acknowledged me were those three. So, of course, someone as desperate for companionship as me would delude myself into thinking of my bullies as my friends.
Yes, in the end, I didn’t hate them. There wasn’t a single shred of hatred in my heart for my abusers.
And that’s the problem. That’s why I fell into despair.
Ever since I was young, I was acutely aware that I lacked hatred. Everyone loves a sympathetic villain, right? For me though, I had nothing but love for them. I couldn’t muster even the obligatory ‘okay, but that’s pretty evil’ response to those kinds of characters in fiction. And when the news would mention some heinous criminal who did something horrible, I didn’t really despise that person either. Sure, he killed a bunch of people, but I’m sure he probably had good reasons for that. He was probably driven to a corner and forced into it. Nobody wants to be a bad person; everyone wants to be good. So, we need to invest more into mental health programs to save people like that. Just like that, my priorities were messed up. Instead of stopping the villains, I wanted to save them.
One might say that that kind of mindset is good. Compassion is an important virtue. But I didn’t think like that. In my opinion, I believed that hatred was also something important to humans. It was vital for humans to hate evil, so that they could lean towards justice. Without that hatred of evil, they could never have a love for justice.
Take, for example, Hitler. Most people would agree he’s one of the worst people ever, right? If he were to somehow show up before them, they’d be immediately repulsed and try to kill him. But I didn’t feel like I would. Of course, I’d know that kind of guy should probably be stopped. I could mentally separate between right and wrong. But my heart wasn’t in it. Even when I read about millions of people being slaughtered, my heart was as still as stone.
And from that came a fear of what I might be capable of. Say Hitler did appear before me. If we ended up talking, wasn’t it possible that I’d end up sympathizing with him too? That I’d befriend him and agree with him? That I’d become just like him?
Doesn’t that make me a horrible person?
I was scared. At that moment, I realized that I wasn’t human. I lacked the ability to kill evil people. I lacked a Heart of Justice. There wasn’t a shred of good within me. I was the worst.
I didn’t want that. I couldn’t stand the thought of that.
I needed to change. I needed to gain Justice.
I needed to become a good person. I needed to do all the things a normal person can do.
I needed to be capable of hating someone. I needed to be capable of killing someone.
I needed to kill someone.
I need to kill!
By the time I made up my mind, I was already fully possessed.
That night, my three friends called me over to karaoke with them with the usual sweet words. Hurry up or we’ll crush your little pp, kay~
I prepared my weapon and made my way to the karaoke place. I knew what I needed to do. I knew who I needed to kill in order to become a normal person.
But, in the end, I wasn’t fated to succeed.
On my way down the hall to slaughter my friends, I ran into a couple of punks from our school. They blocked my way and laughed at me. Made me accompany them for a bit. They were probably drunk, but who cares. They’d do.
In the end, it didn’t actually matter who it was, whether or not it was justified or if they were good or bad. I just needed to kill someone to become normal.
10 minutes later, I came to my senses and found myself in a room painted red.
And I realized I felt nothing.
No shock. No fear. No grief. No bliss.
I felt nothing. These people meant nothing to me. Murder meant nothing to me.
In the end, I turned myself in and awaited my prosecution, only to be diagnosed at the last minute. Who would’ve known? Turns out there was a demon in my heart all along.
That was the incident that happened two years ago.
That was the end of my relationship with Enomoto Reika.
— X X X —
“And that’s what happened…”
April 9th, evening.
After coming back from karaoke with Enjoufusa, I decided to finally tell Enomoto everything that happened. Sitting on opposite ends of the living room, I told her my story as if trying to bridge the gap between us.
My shameful past. My empty heart. My desire for justice. And my unjust murder.
I told her everything.
“… I see.”
She’s quiet. A quivering mutter beneath her breath. But in this silent room, it sounds louder than my beating heart.
“So then, that night… the one who should’ve…”
“Y-yeah. Your fear was right. The person I was trying to kill… was you.”
There wasn’t any deeper meaning behind it, of course. It didn’t really matter who it was; I just needed to kill someone to ease my pain. Enomoto and co. just happened to be the first people I thought of.
“B-but, that’s all in the past. I don’t want to kill you anymore and I don’t really want revenge or anything. I don’t blame you for anything, so please be at ease.”
Even though I try to assuage her fears, she just seems more disgruntled.
“… idiot. Even after all that, you still don’t hate me?”
“Huh? N-no… I’ve never hated you, Enomoto-san. I don’t think I can.”
It’s not just because of my empty heart. In the end, I really don’t blame her for anything. She hasn’t done anything wrong. So, there’s no reason for me to hate her.
“I knew it. You really are messed up. You have more than a few screws loose. You’re absolutely batshit bonkers.”
“Yeah… I’m definitely insane. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be possessed.”
“Hmph.”
Probably pouting, she buries her head in her knees.
“… dammit. Why won’t you blame me?”
“Huh?”
“It’s my responsibility too, right? You got possessed because I bullied you. So, it’s my responsibility that those guys died, isn’t it?”
“That’s… that’s not true. It was my own fault. My heart was too weak to handle a little bullying. You did nothing wrong.”
“That’s not true and you know it! I’m not a good person either!”
She screams into her legs, silencing any objections from below.
“… I was scared. After you went psycho, I was scared that you’d come for me too. But… I made peace with that. I realized that I probably drove you to do it. I realized I probably deserve it. The other two probably did too. After that day, we stopped hanging out. After all, we felt guilty every time we saw each other. We all knew what we had done. So… it still scares me, but I can accept your hatred for me. I want to make up for what I did too.”
She raises her head at me and cries out loudly, tears pouring onto her chest.
“And yet, you haven’t changed at all. You’re still a lame loser who does whatever I say. You still don’t hate me! Why? Why won’t you blame me? If… if you don’t blame me… how am I supposed to be forgiven?”
“Enomoto-san…”
I see now. It wasn’t just me. She too was being eaten from the inside by guilt.
“But… even so, I can’t forgive you. Because I don’t blame you. And I don’t hate you. I can’t.”
“… that’s not fair. Am I supposed to just carry this sin for the rest of my life, then?”
“Unfortunately, that’s just how it is. The only one who can carry other people’s sins is God. But I hear his back’s been getting tired lately, so we probably shouldn’t overwork him. For the rest of us, we just have to carry our own sins for the rest of our lives. That’s the cross we must carry.”
In the end, you can’t seek salvation in others. No one can help you if you don’t ask for help first. No one can save you if you don’t save yourself. The moment you’re willing to sell your soul to a demon for salvation, you’re already done for.
“… earlier, you asked me who was responsible for the crime: the possessed or the person who made them possessed. And I said that it was about 50/50, right? In that case, that makes us both equally responsible, doesn’t it?”
“… yeah?”
She sulkily peeks at me from behind her knees.
“If we’re both equally responsible, that makes us partners, don’t you think? In other words… we’re accomplices.”
“Accomplices?”
“We’re a dirty duo of bad guys. Like Bonnie and Clyde. We were colluding the whole time, so the blame lies on both of us. That’s why… there’s no need to blame or forgive each other. Instead, we should share the responsibility… and the guilt. What do you think?”
Enomoto pauses, thinks, and then nods.
“… yeah, I think I can do that.”
“Then, it’s settled. From now on, we’re in this together. No betraying each other to the cops, okay? This whole thing will be our little secret.”
“H-hmph, you’re one to talk. Don’t get cold feet and push everything on me when things get inconvenient. You’ve always been the flaky type. I’m sure if another woman gets her hands on you, you’ll be putty in her hands, you cheater.”
“Hey, hey, that’s not my fault. You practically drilled my weakness to girls into me.”
“See, you’re already pushing all the blame on me. I knew it, you’re the worst partner ever.”
“Boo, that’s not fair. In that case, I want a cuter partner. Mine only has a foul mouth.”
Bickering with each other, laughing at each other, insulting each other, and licking each other’s wounds, the silent room finally becomes filled with noise.
“So… it’s settled then? We’re in this together?”
“Yeah. Together.”
We both nod and sign the contract in blood. Together forever. Till death do us part, we’d honor this oath of shared culpability.
In the end, that was the only conclusion that we could come to.
The victim who became a perpetrator.
The perpetrator who became a victim.
Never forgiving each other, never blaming each other, we shall keep this incident buried deep within our hearts and share its shame together.
But one day, we’ll be in our rocking chairs, side by side, and be able to look back and laugh it all off as the recklessness of youth.
I remember Dr. Roman’s advice: Find someone who needs you.
Well, I think I found her.
As long as we’re together, we can keep moving forward. I’m sure of it…
We can heal.
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Originally Posted by Nasu
