Servant/Project Idea Thread, "The Womb"

[jishara]

Hi, I'm planning to maybe do Mahavira (contemporary of Buddha and leader of the Jains) as my second one, as either Ruler or Saver. Would you think that makes sense?

[NINE-lives]

Hey random, are you willing to rework canon servants into alternate classes or reinterpret canon servants? If your willing then I have some ideas for Rama, Arjuna and Heracles as I feel like they got done dirty by TM

[jishara]

A shattered town.

Glass covering the ground, shattered.
A crack running down the center of the town, gaping wide as if to swallow it all.

Blood scattered over the town, coating it in a shade of crimson red.
Empty of all life, not even a cricket chirping, no sounds to be heard.

The mana drained, all away.
And the trees dead, falling and withering.

What really happened in this Holy Grail War? Why did it go so terribly wrong? Who caused it to go wrong?

Find out, on my upcoming ARG, CHAPTER 1: Rider, coming out with my Annie Edson Taylor sheet! More info will be provided in a link under the sheet or by PM.

[pinetree]

[HumanComplex]

It’s starting, with Jishara to boot.

[jishara]

Yeah! I've been thinking about doing it since the whole Pope Paul thing. Originally I was going to have their personality and relationships as fake Insta posts like in the Guess-a-Servant, but with weird missing letters and stuff, and have it end with them announcing the ARG, but it fell through.
I hope you're going to like it!!

[NINE-lives]

I’m just surprised that you of all people are doing it.

[jishara]

Wait, why?

[NINE-lives]

It seems a little like it’s not your style to be honest. Like no offence but your more recognized for fast, punchy sheets of obscure figures.

[jishara]

Yeah, I can see that. No offense taken :-)

[NINE-lives]

Hey random, I have a mage idea. The basic idea is that this is a mage family that wants to create someone that they think of as a “perfect soldier” under the philosophy of “a perfect soldier isn’t a person but a machine that follows the order of their commander perfectly”.

The personality gimmick of this family is that they’re all very… empty and dead inside, speaking in monotone due to “abandoning their existence as people and becoming pure soldiers”. The combat gimmick of theirs is that they possess something akin to “aptitude for slaughter” in that they can utilize literally any object in their possession as weapons from pencils to books to literally anything based on the philosophy of “a perfect soldier should be able to fight with anything at his disposal”.

I’m curious if your willing to pick up this rough idea and use it.

[DelRey]

Poor Random
He became NINEs substitute Fortuna

[WhiteFrenzy]

Some people here said some stuff about some Heroic Spirit while also posting some other Heroic Spirits and tonight it all converged and I had an ephiphany. A "I can make this work... Kinda..." moment. Thank you, kind people, for the insight for my MCaS.

[ChronoRebel_GreatGryffon]

So I have recently posted this Archer Matthias Corvinus sheet in the main Create-a-Servant thread

Archer: Matthias Corvinus

Class: Archer
Other Classes: Rider, Avenger
True Name: Matthias Hunyadi "Corvinus"
Alignment: Lawful Good
Place of Origin: 15th century Hungary

Parameters:

STR: C
END: C
AGI: A
MGI: E
LCK: C
NP: B

Likes: Hungary, the good old days
Dislikes: How he ended
Talent: Military strategy
Natural Enemy: All enemies of Hungary and Christianity
Attribute: Man
Traits: Animal Characteristics Servant, Brynhildr's Beloved, Hominidae Servant, Humanoid, King, Male, Servant, Weak to Enuma Elish
Armament: Crossbow, sword
Catalysts: His hunting crossbow, a raven's feather

Class Skills:
Independent Action A
It is possible to take action even without a Master. However, to use Noble Phantasms of great magical energy consumption, backup from the Master is necessary. At Rank A, it is possible for a Servant to stay in the world for about a week without a Master.
Two facts warrant this rank: one, the Black Army was, at the end of the day, a mercenary army, even if their loyalty to Archer was unshakeable and they wouldn't have served any other man. Two, folk tales say that during his reign, Archer would wander around his kingdom alone, his face hidden by a cloak, fighting injustice wherever he found it.

Magic Resistance D
Cancels Single-Action spells. Magic Resistance of the same degree of an amulet that rejects magical energy.

Personal Skills:
Charisma B
Having B Rank in this Skill is sufficient to lead a nation as its King/Queen. The morale of military forces he or she commands is extremely high. It also allows the user to negate the Emergency Prerogative skill of enemies.
While initially they only followed Archer for the gold, the Black Army quickly grew to venerate his talent and ambition, and bind them to a loyalty deeper than transcended monetary gain and the fear of death.

Golden Rule B-
Enough to keep a nation-scale high-quality mercenary army well funded. However, this Skill will start losing potency after a while as the surrounding area is drained of funds.

Imperial Privilege -
A Skill only possessed Archer's Rider self. Once, he was the dashing king of Hungary, filled with ambition and purpose. But that time is long passed, and he has lost that youthful spark.

Military Tactics B
The Black Army was one of the most elite military forces Medieval Europe had ever seen and would ever see, magnified by the genius and cunning of a single man.

Noble Phantasm(s):

Fekete Sereg
Flock of the Raven King

Type: Anti-Army
Rank: B
Range: 1~99
Max Targets: Variable

In a storm of black feathers, the soldiers of the Black Army manifest at their King's command, numbering 28 000. In nature, they are akin to lesser Spirits given material form. Each has their personality, can be summoned independently, and they are all fiercely loyal to Archer and Archer alone; Archer’s Master will always come second. In terms of each man's individual strength, they are small fry to most Servants and easily disposed of. Still, they compensate through sheer numbers, balanced by how much can remain summoned at any given time since the mana consumption increases with the amount summoned.
Normally this Noble Phantasm would be of A rank and account for infantry and cavalry, including the feared Hussars, should Matthias be in his main Rider class. However, the Archer class only allows a B rank, and for all of them to be archers, crossbowmen, arquebusiers, artillerymen, and siege engine operators.
On this note, should Matthias be summoned in the Avenger class, this NP would jump to EX rank as Matthias and the Black Army’s collective consciousness merge and lose themselves to their negative emotions; at this point, the Servant and the Noble Phantasm become one and the same, a shapeshifting, animated mass of black feathers and faceless soldiers kept together by resentment for the world that betrayed them.

Lore:
The once-mighty and proud Matthias the Just, who made Hungary a powerhouse of Medieval Europe and a man who seemed destined to be remembered among the greatest monarchs in history, lived his last years miserably: weakened by gout and age, made bitter and paranoid by his enemies and constant failures, decried as a tyrant, and ultimately dying stupidly due to a rotten fig over three days of agony; indeed a man turned a shadow of his former self. Once they learned the news, his Black Army, which had dutifully followed in the King's shadow over the years and knew nothing else but war, knew that following him in the fall was the only path forward for them; thus, they turned to raiders and bandits, willingly choosing to sacrifice their humanity and chance to access Heaven, becoming the "faceless shadows of the Raven King" that would enact his vengeance upon the land, all so that, once death would come to claim them, and it did, they could follow him in whichever Hell had welcomed him, forever flying alongside him in the trail of his black wings.

Personality:
Regal, noble, and harsh, but fair, while also having a certain tiredness and melancholy to him. A quiet appreciator of arts. Contrary to his Rider self, which represents his younger, more idealistic conquering days, Archer is Matthias towards the end of his reign, the hardened and embittered Raven King. A « Hero of Justice » type person, and he certainly still believes in it, but the spark is very much not there anymore.

Creator Notes:
The Archer of Black of a cooperative fan Great Holy Grail War I participated in.

However, I have been told that "it lacks meat". Any ideas on how I could flesh this out?

[NMR-3]

So I don't want to seem too harsh, but I entirely agree with the idea of it lacking meat. By accident I turned this review into more of a Socratic dialogue, but consider the questions as more of something that the sheet should probably answer or tell me. Not every question needs an answer, because some of them are gonna be not relevant at all to the story you want to tell, but I'd encourage you to think about them.

First, the skills. Charisma, Golden Rule, Imperial Privilege and Military Tactics is a set of skills that could belong to literally any conqueror-king. Paste Iskandar or William the Conqueror or Afonso I or Valdemar II or Mehmed's face or any other conquering hero on it and you need to change almost nothing of the skills.

Personally I try to use skills to show character, and in that sense they tell me absolutely nothing about Corvinus. So he's charismatic, sure. Charismatic how? Is he the type of charismatic that inspires by his mere presence, or is he the type of charismatic that sweeps up people into serving a grander cause? He's got Imperial Privilege. Is there a reason for that beyond it being part of the standard King-type package? Imperial Privilege is as far as I recall the assumption of skills of one's country because the country is an extension of yourself and so the nation's skills are your own as a matter of course. Is that the case for Corvinus? What kind of military tactics did he excel at? Sieges, drawn-out battles, short battles? On what terrain, his own or that of others?

Second, the Noble Phantasm. Army summoning Noble Phantasms were already a cliché by the intro of Create-A-Servant 2, and I think they partially stem from a misunderstanding of why Iskandar can summon his army. It's not because he had an army, it's because (in Fate lore) he had such tight-knit bonds with his army that they'll follow him even beyond death. But then that's central to both Iskandar's character and role in the story - he acts as inspiration for Waver to not be such a dorky loser. Meanwhile, what does Corvinus' NP say about him? That he's got a lot of dudes in his army. It feels lacking.

Third, the personality. Heroic, noble, embittered and tired and harsh but fair etc. Tried and true archetype, I suppose. What are his hopes and dreams? Why does he participate in the Grail Wars, what would his wish upon the Grail be? What are his primary regrets? How does he talk, with who does he talk? What is his attitude towards his Master, his attitude towards his men, his attitude towards other Masters, his attitude towards other Servants? What does he even look like?

[ChronoRebel_GreatGryffon]

So I don't want to seem too harsh, but I entirely agree with the idea of it lacking meat. By accident I turned this review into more of a Socratic dialogue, but consider the questions as more of something that the sheet should probably answer or tell me. Not every question needs an answer, because some of them are gonna be not relevant at all to the story you want to tell, but I'd encourage you to think about them.

First, the skills. Charisma, Golden Rule, Imperial Privilege and Military Tactics is a set of skills that could belong to literally any conqueror-king. Paste Iskandar or William the Conqueror or Afonso I or Valdemar II or Mehmed's face or any other conquering hero on it and you need to change almost nothing of the skills.

Personally I try to use skills to show character, and in that sense they tell me absolutely nothing about Corvinus. So he's charismatic, sure. Charismatic how? Is he the type of charismatic that inspires by his mere presence, or is he the type of charismatic that sweeps up people into serving a grander cause? He's got Imperial Privilege. Is there a reason for that beyond it being part of the standard King-type package? Imperial Privilege is as far as I recall the assumption of skills of one's country because the country is an extension of yourself and so the nation's skills are your own as a matter of course. Is that the case for Corvinus? What kind of military tactics did he excel at? Sieges, drawn-out battles, short battles? On what terrain, his own or that of others?

Second, the Noble Phantasm. Army summoning Noble Phantasms were already a cliché by the intro of Create-A-Servant 2, and I think they partially stem from a misunderstanding of why Iskandar can summon his army. It's not because he had an army, it's because (in Fate lore) he had such tight-knit bonds with his army that they'll follow him even beyond death. But then that's central to both Iskandar's character and role in the story - he acts as inspiration for Waver to not be such a dorky loser. Meanwhile, what does Corvinus' NP say about him? That he's got a lot of dudes in his army. It feels lacking.

Third, the personality. Heroic, noble, embittered and tired and harsh but fair etc. Tried and true archetype, I suppose. What are his hopes and dreams? Why does he participate in the Grail Wars, what would his wish upon the Grail be? What are his primary regrets? How does he talk, with who does he talk? What is his attitude towards his Master, his attitude towards his men, his attitude towards other Masters, his attitude towards other Servants? What does he even look like?

I want to sell the idea that he's washed-up and past his prime, and he's very depressed about it. Everything he built slowly collapsed around him, and he died utterly miserable and demonized by his nobles. He's a hero who never got a happily-ever-after, and saw himself live long enough to become the villain in others' eyes.

[Kamera]

Vlad Dracula is that you

[Cursed by Fortuna]

0

[Skull]

Charisma is technically a rare skill, not all monarchs have it, although to be fair I can understand the mistake as it tends to get just portrayed as "a skill rulers/monoarchs have".

It also doesn't help that the advent of F/GO has lead the Skill (or some variant of it) to being tossed out like a piece of candy so now plenty of people have it, even in really questionable cases like Gawain.

[BnEl15]

Need help coming up with an NP. Say there are two authors working together on one project. One was in charge of the overarching plot and character design, the other in dialogues and setting details. Then the plot guy pretty much got erased from existence (hyperbolically speaking), while dialogue guy gets all the credit.

How would this turn into an NP for plot guy? The rough idea I have basically allows him to temporarily remove "plot" and "character design" from his surroundings. Other ppl can communicate and act as usual, but they lose any sense of a "greater purpose" that define their character. Essentially turning them all into cardboards and locking them out of Skills and NPs related to their "character" (to differentiate, Skills/NPs based on their feats are usable, while those based on their wish/personality/disposition/mindset aren't).

That still sounds pretty vague and way too meta though, so I appreciate any other ideas you may have.