--- (Soundtrack here)
Throughout his life, John held many titles. For one, he was King of England, regardless of how his rule turned out. Many considered him a tyrant, or a corrupt despot, yet he tried his best to zone out their words, no matter how hurt they made him feel deep down. Everything he did, he did it for the sake of England. To make his mother proud, and to take proper responsibility for the kingdom, unlike his deadbeat brother who chose to abandon his people to fight in a far-off war in the holy land despite the turbulent period that England was in at the time. To that end, he would pay no mind to the people's perception of him. The ignorant common folk should only sit down, shut up, and listen to his commands. Through this, he would lead England to glory and prosperity, no matter what it takes. King John held many titles. A King. A tyrant. A monster.
Yet among those titles...
A babysitter certainly wasn't one of them.
"
To think I'd have to spend my day babysitting some spoiled brat... How far the nobility had fallen..." The King lamented his position.
"
Hey, don't call it babysitting! A-And treat me with some respect! Ahem, as you know, you're talking to-"
"
Yes, yes, Qin Er Shi, the Second Emperor of China's Qin Dynasty, the one and only Son of Heaven, Bearer of the Heavenly Mandate. You've told me that a few dozen times already."
"
Hmph, if you remember that much, you should know that this is nothing like 'babysitting'! This is... an excursion, yes!"
"
Oi, I'm a King too, you know. And my kingdom's actually still around, unlike yours."
"
B-But, um, my kingdom's actually been around since..." The young Emperor held out his fingers, counting the years. "
thirteen-hundred-eleventy-seven years before your time, so that makes me the older King!"
"
..."
"
So you should, uh..." The boy fumbled around his notebook, looking for the right phrase "
Offer your respects to the Qin!"
"
...Screw this, I'm leaving."
The boy seemingly deflated, seeing his "commanding remark" fail to sway the older man's heart.
"
Aww, that's too bad... When my teacher said he'd be away on business, he said Chaldea has lots of cool kings and queens I could learn from, and he said you're one of them. Well, if you don't want too, I guess I'll just look for someone else..."
John stopped in his tracks.
"
Hold up. You want me... to teach you?"
"
Yeah, but if you're busy, I can-"
"
No, no, by all means! Why didn't you say so from the start!?" The King suddenly lightened up, "
Hmph, it's not every day one actually acknowledges the value of my kingship! Very well, as you said, this is no babysitting duty; this is an excursion, and by the end of today, you'll be sure to pick up some skills to lead your kingdom as a fine ruler! Now then, where are we going today?"
"
Our first stop today... is the cafeteria! I heard Shimmyzoo Desserts is opening an ice cream stall today!"
---
And so the two made their way to the cafeteria, only to hear two voices loudly bickering inside the ice cream stall.
"
For the last time, Mary, wear your gloves when you prepare the ingredients! Do you want a repeat of last time!?"
"
WHY SHOULD I!? For the last time, I'm perfectly healthy, I'm telling you! You're overreacting with these hygiene protocols!"
"
Dammit, it's not an overreaction when half of Chaldea got sick and we had to suspend operations for an entire month the last time you took off your gloves during kitchen duty!"
"
I had nothing to do with that!"
"
That was literally your Noble Phantasm at work!"
"
Watch and learn, boy. The first rule of kingship is to assert your presence." John commanded confidently. "
Cut through pointless commoner squabbles such as this one and make it clear to them what exactly it is you want. Tell them that refusal is not an option. Like this..."
"
Ahem. I, King John of England, command you to-"
The owner turned around, revealing his large, grizzled stature.
Then he smiled. A stuff of nightmares.
"
Hoho, welcome to Shimizu Desserts. Sorry ya had to see that argument. What can I do for ya today?" The man cracked his knuckles.
...
"
On second thought, you should give this a try first. I'd like to... assess your basic assertiveness, yes."
"
Eh!?"
"
Fear not, I'll be observing and giving you some pointers from here. Well... a few steps away from here, at least."
---
"
Um, excuse me..."
"
Stand up straight! Fix your posture, walk in there like you own the place!" John whispered.
"
No, we're not hypochondriacs! Our fears are reasonable enough! Why the hell did you think you were summoned as an Assassin!?"
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Hmph, how on earth should I know!? Not my fault people always seemed to get sick whenever I cook! Correlation doesn't imply causation!"
"
Um..."
"
In your case it sure as hell does! You're literally known for causing a mass typhoid outbreak, it's in your name, for God's sake!"
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T-Those are false accusations! I am most assuredly the perfect image of health!"
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Psst! Make your presence known!"
"
How, though!? Those two seemed... pretty wrapped up in their argument."
"
I dunno! You're an Emperor, I'm sure you'll be able to figure something out!"
"
Aren't you a King too!?"
"
Er, that's an entirely different matter here!"
"
Ugh, fine..."
---
"
EXCUSE ME!" The young boy yelled as he weakly slapped the counter table.
The argument instantly ceased. The owner turned around, revealing his robust figure, and seeing it, Huhai just can't help but shrink into himself.
"
Hi there, kiddo. Welcome to the one and only Shimizu Desserts. What can I do for ya!?"
Fear paralyzed his mind, and for a time, the boy only wanted to run away. Yet he held on. This is necessary for his training, after all.
"
Ah, um, I'd like the strawberry sundae special, kids size, and..." He turned to look at John, still hiding behind the corner.
"
Vanilla for me!" The King whispered. "
Oh, with extra chocolate on top!"
"
One vanilla special with extra chocolate!"
The owner stared at him, and Huhai began to wonder if this was a mistake.
Then...
"
Oi, didja hear that, Mary! We finally got a customer today! And here I thought no one else would want ice cream after summer!"
"
I told you, you really should work on your smile more, boss. I'm sure more people would come if your smile didn't scare them off..."
"
Heh, big talk from the living bioweapon... Anyway, prepare the ingredients, on the double! And put your gloves on while you're at it, dammit!"
---
"
So, um... How did I do?" Huhai asked, as the two sat down to enjoy their desserts.
"
Hmph, you pass, for now." John acknowledged. "
Your techniques could... use some work, but I suppose you have talent in there somewhere."
"
By the way, if you don't mind me asking..." The King wiped off a splotch of chocolate cream from hid lips. "
Why exactly did your teacher want me to look after you again? I understand you wanting to learn about kingship and the like, but I'm far from the only candidate here. Not to mention, isn't your father here? Why don't you spend time with him?"
"
Ah, my father..." The boy sighed. "
Well, he is my father, but at the same time, he's not. He's from what you call a Lostbelt. I'm sure Master already told you about those when you were summoned. He's cool, but my real father is even cooler than him!"
"
Ah, so your real father is..."
"
Yeah, he's not here yet. Master and Ms. Da Vinci has been looking for the right catalyst to summon him in their spare time, but they haven't had much luck with that..." The boy looked downcast. "
Ah, but that's all right, though! If anything, that's all the more reason I have to work hard to become a good Emperor before he gets here! I want to greet him properly, and I want him to praise me for my efforts when he gets here!"
John stayed silent hearing the boy's words. In a way, the young Emperor reminded him of himself.
"
Heh, maybe we're not so different after all, boy." The King patted his shoulder. Huhai only stared cluelessly at him in response.
"
It's funny, honestly... or is it sad? My mother is here, and I still crave her praises. It's the feeling that you're not good enough. When you see your parents as brilliant shining stars that constantly remain beyond your reach, no matter how hard you try to reach out to them. That feeling is familiar."
"
Well, if anything, I admire your optimism." John stood up, having finished his ice cream. He noticed a tiny red dragon approaching from the distance. "
Oh, and it looks like your teacher is back, just in time. I should get going now."
"
Big bro, wait!" The young boy exclaimed. "
Um, by any chance, could you teach me some more things next time around? I feel like there's still more you can teach me."
"
Eh? Really? Of all the people in Chaldea, you'd like me to teach you? Are you sure about this?"
The boy nodded.
"
Ah, um... I didn't expect this, of all things... but no matter! If that is your resolve, then you best prepare yourself. The path to become a proper King is a long one, and we've barely scratched the surface." John smiled.
"
Challenge accepted!" Huhai waved, as the two rulers went on their separate ways.
Unbeknownst to John, This
babysitting incident "kingly excursion" would only be the first of many, and soon enough, he would be wondering if he truly did make the right call... but that is a story for another time.