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Thread: (Bi)Monthly Rework-a-Servant Contest

  1. #521
    Your average angst/edge supplier BnEl15's Avatar
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    Seconding envy and pride. Add in the occasional tiny bit of spite when it comes to defending my crown... not that I've written a Watcher in ages.

  2. #522
    失敗作の神 God of Failed Work Spelror's Avatar
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    I personally subscribe to despair. I took a swing at all 7(8) sins and they don't fit for me (maybe sloth did, but there's no time for that). It is the reason why my Yi sheet is not released, still despairing over how autosave deleted about 60% of it.

  3. #523
    夜属 Nightkin SimpleScribe's Avatar
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    By definition, a Tool is always built for a purpose.

    “Good work, Son. We’ll be getting a bigger payout by the end of the week.”“Brother! We have lost this war! We must retreat!”

    This Law is written within the parameters of the World.

    “You’re getting stronger by the day. I suppose you really are taking after your pops.”You… You will be my revenge upon those ungrateful wretches.

    A Tool is always meant to perform its function without issue.

    “My lovely Son… I am always with you, even after I’m gone. Always.”My beloved Wife… Look at what they have done to you…

    A Tool has no need for emotions.

    “Your eyes. They’re just like your mother’s.”Your beautiful flesh. Your strong bones. Your graceful limbs. We will make use of them all.

    A Tool has no need for aspirations.

    “Your mother… She wanted you to have this. It’s a memento.”Where is our Aunt? We need her contribution now more than ever!

    A Tool has no need for a Heart.

    “Do you know what it says? I remember your mother teaching you the words.”“Theia has fled after Hyperion’s death. A Coward’s choice in the end!”

    A Tool…

    “Hey… You look pretty strong… Wanna tussle?”Slaughter. And Kill. Massacre them all in my Name."

    Who…? Who is that? I cannot remember…

    “Wow! You really are strong for a mercenary! What do ya say we team up!?”Blaspheme those atop Olympus. Defile the salted Underworlds.


    That smile… How did I forget? That brilliant, shining smile of his…

    “Oi, Odysseus! Don’t forget this guy! Aw, don’t give me that grouching! He can fight! Give him a chance!”You will be our cruelest revenge against the Gods.

    “Does he have a name? Go on, young man. Share with us your story of your association with the Son of Thetis.”

    “Go on, man. Tell all these old geezers about who my best pal is!”You will be our dying breath to snuff out theirs.

    My memories… My dear Achilles… Help me remember…

    “Tell the whole world that my best friend in the entire world is Patroclus!”Let the Gods know the Vengeance of Menoetius!







    Source: Greek Myth | The Iliad
    Class: Avenger
    True Name: Patroclus, Memories of Achilles
    Aliases: The Glory of the Father, Gift from the River Lethe, Patchwork Erinyes
    Alignment: Lawful Good
    Place of Origin: Greece


    Strength: A
    Endurance: A
    Agility: B
    Mana: B
    LCK: D
    NP: D

    Likes: Achilles’ Smile, Peace, Knucklebones, Achilles’ Laughter, All Things in Nature, Fighting, Achilles’ Everything
    Dislikes: Achilles’ Anger, Fighting, Fire, Achilles’ Sadness, Revenge, Senseless Wars, Achilles’ Dying
    Talent: Fighting
    Natural Enemy: Hector
    Attribute: Earth
    Armament: The Bones of Titans
    Catalyst: Any garment relating to Achilles, the Remains of Titans

    Remember
    He was a Living Weapon. Crafted through Spite and Bitterness and Animosity. Formed from Vindictiveness and Antagonism and Resent.

    The eternal cycle of Progenitor against Progeny has brought the King of the Titans and his generation low to be dismembered by his weapon of rule, perpetrated by the victor of the well-known Titanomachia.

    However… What was written by the vanquished?

    Those who were given mercy were those who fell in line to the King of God’s Authority. To oversee the functions of the World by writ of their designation. The Ocean. The Sky. The Sun. The Winds. The Land. The Forests. Only those who yielded may live in Shackles.

    The others refused.

    Those who refused were met with the Harpe. The pieces of the dissenters, Corpus and Mind and Soul, were scattered upon the darkest Abyss. So that not even a thought shall rise up against the Home of the Gods. And nothing else was said of the defeated…

    And yet… deep within their prisons, the embers of vengeance flickered.

    Attracted together only by shared disdain and wrath, a Will was formed by those slithering pieces.

    A Plan was forged in the pits of torment and suffering.

    A final act of defiance against the Gods before their ire disappears forevermore.

    A Weapon was morphed into being with the materials coming from their Mother Earth, their Bones, their very being…

    And yet… they lacked one essential piece that only The Queen of the Shining Palace can provide.

    A Beating Heart worthy to cage within their Hatred.

    For without a Heart, how can one feel Hatred for the Gods?

    For without a Heart, how can the Flames of Vengeance burn eternal?

    For without a Heart, how can the bitter blood of Cronus pump through their veins?

    For without a Heart, what better way could there possibly be for their Weapon?

    That is how they reasoned between each other.

    This Terminal was enough. Their Magnum Opus. Their Heartless Glory.

    It was on that day that he was named Patroclus, the Glory of the Father.

    It was on that day the memories left him as he drifted upon the River Lethe.

    It was on that day that that Weapon found himself on a field as empty as his chest, by a babbling river.

    His first thought upon first sight at the scene was Beautiful.

    The World was Beautiful.

    Then in the midst of the breeze, he heard the clashing of shouting. Curious as a newly born chick broken free from their eggshell, his legs moved before a single thought crossed his mind.

    It was a battle between hardened men. Strewed around were the potpourri of the fallen, their faces contorted in a blend of fierce anguish in their lives cut short and grim acceptance of their fates. It was a scene he should have seen before, but in a dream.

    Blood coated the grassy plains like morning dew. Blades pierced the sullied earth as unmarked graves. Fresh cadavers clung to life like it was the thread keeping them from falling into Tartarus. The Titan felt nothing at the cruel sight.

    It was… familiar, this scene.

    A vagrant coated in a spotted beast’s skin charged at him, intent on becoming the sole survivor of the massacre. Their words devolved into jumbled baying for blood. Their bloodshot eyes were filled with madness that only came from witnessing such carnage.

    A madness the Titan without a heart cannot understand.

    A grotesque squelch made from a sword made of bones. The insanity of a broken man was silenced. A new insanity emerged in the Titan’s mind as his body swung mercilessly at the remaining soldiers who will never fight again. Each gash made by his armaments of bones rang a word in his thoughts.

    Destroy. Kill. Maim. Decimate. Murder. Slaughter. Butcher. Annihilate. Eradicate. Terminate.

    Retribution. Vengeance. Retaliation. Reprisal. Revenge.

    Deicide.

    Orders. Commands. Instructions. Directives. Mandates. Decrees.

    They must be followed.

    The Gods must die. Their children must perish. The World shall bleed.

    Their divine ichor shall flow as the River Styx.

    Go. Now.

    A bottomless hatred from the depths of Tartarus and yet…

    He felt nothing.

    He was just killing everything.

    Swords dripping with red. Axes smashing limbs. Hammers crushing bones. Lances skewering corpses. Daggers pincushioned in flesh. Weapons of Bone used as Implements for Slaughter. The Art of Massacre weaved into his very core.

    A bandit covered in the feral furs of a wolf was skinned by him.

    Memories of… a War Long Passed flickered as his hands continued to swing weapons borne from his bones.

    Hyperion is dead, Sister.

    I know. I am already planning my surrender.

    Are you so quick to bend your knee to those insolent children?

    If it means my family lives, then yes.

    So many of us are already dead!

    Then we should strive to not throw away the rest of us into those Pits!

    And live under their scrutiny? Never.

    Then I bid you farewell, Brother.

    Memories… not his… Who was that?

    “You dare raise your hand against your father? Know the limits of your arrogance, my son.”

    “The Cycle that continued with Uranus shall turn forever onwards, but… I intend to end it with me.”

    “Such pride to declare a bold-faced lie. I have seen your future and nothing will change by this war’s end.”


    “I will be on your throne. That is enough.”

    “And you will do all you can to avoid the Fate’s threads as I have. It is pointless, you have learned as I did.”

    “I will try, just as I have tried this day.”

    “Then finish it. Let this Eternal Cycle turn and turn.”


    Killings of Fathers and Mothers, Aunts and Uncles, Cousins and Siblings… The faces blurred as his bones of murder continued to take lives in the now.

    “Menoetius! Remember us! Remember who fought with you!”

    A cyclops was blinded with a thrust of his spear. A man’s head popped like a bubble made of sea foam.

    “Prometheus has betrayed us! They have all betrayed us!”

    A Hecatonchiries had their hands severed from their wrists, one by one. Their eyes gouged out, one by one. Their remains burned under the cosmic rays.

    “Rhea! Help us! Save us! Rhea!”

    Dwindling one by one, the Titans fell to the rebellion. Dwindling one by one, soldiers fell to the blood-soaked demon. A bandit wearing a prideful mane was the last to fall by their hands.

    “Hey, kid.”

    Patroclus.


    A fire from primal power. A fire made from chopped wood.

    “You killed my men really well. I would have mistaken you as a Dragon Tooth.”

    You will be our hand.

    A man sat on a log, resigned to the uncertain future.

    A giant whose face cannot be seen.

    “The name’s Menoetius. What’s yours? You’re not an Ant Person, but you came out of the ground like one of them.”

    I am Menoetius. That is all you need to know.

    The Weapon did not react.

    “A silent type, huh? I can understand. You’ve been through a lot. Take a seat if you want.”

    Listen to my orders and only my orders.


    The Weapon sat on the log across from the fire.

    “Tell me, son. What brings you out here? Killing my men?”

    And my sole order to you is…

    To bring down Olympus.


    Menoetius nodded, as if mulling over the answer.

    “Why not… follow me instead?”

    And visit vengeance upon those accursed Gods.


    He nodded.

    That was all he could remember to do.

    Some time later… Days, months, years even were filled with nothing but the routine of reaping bodies and stacking coins and performing chores. Time eluded him as he followed the man. Blindly following what he was told to do. Without thinking what he is supposed to do.

    He… thinks his place is with the man. Maybe. Perhaps. Just as it is.

    Some day or some year later, the man he was supposedly calls his father leaned over…

    Bones… Those were bones. Why is he playing with bones?

    “Curious?” The man asked after noticing his blank stare.

    The Weapon nodded.

    “It’s called Knucklebones. Our previous employer invented it. Anyone can play it. Look.”

    The man tossed the largest bone in the air and scooped up the lesser sized bones into his hands. In terms of children, it is just playing with bones. So why would an adult see the need to play a game?

    “You’re not impressed.”

    The Weapon saw no reasons for bones to be used for anything other than slaughter.

    “Life is not always about killing.”

    Then why is the man leading a life full of killing?

    The man shrugs. “That is just how the Fates weave our destinies. It is best to make the most of them.”

    The Weapon picked up a small piece of bone. It was ashen white and chipped with wear.

    “Why not give it a try? Maybe after our next job, I can teach you other ways to play.”

    There are other ways?

    “Of course. Like there are many ways to take a life, there are many ways to play a game.”

    A strange game…

    A rustle nearby. A snarl of venomous words were shouted their way.

    “Oh look. Our next job already. And the Myrmidons haven’t come to replace the ones you killed yet. Ready?”

    The two of them- No, just the Weapon is enough.

    The man laughed.

    “A mercenary group of two. A rare sight, it is!”

    ---

    It was a scuffle between young boys. Bruises on slacked arms and shallow cuts from falling upon sharp pebbles were commonplace. It was a contest of strength to the common eye, but for these youths, it was a trial to establish the pecking order.

    There was only a single boy left standing. They had green, short hair. Spiked up so much that you could make meat skewers with it. Their sneer indicated them as the victor over the masses. Said masses grouched and groaned at the boy’s preening and gloating.

    “Aw, come on! Ain’t there anybody here who can take me down!? This is the best the aspiring soldiers of the Myrmidons can offer?!” The boy taunted. None spoke up with the lessons of experience having taught them that it was a fool’s errand. Still, the scathing words stung like a bullet ant’s bite.

    I shall take you on. A voice challenged the boy.

    “Huh?” A dull sound escaped the boy’s mouth. His eyes turned and laid on a child his size and age. His challenger was a humble thing with humbler looking clothes. “Where’d you come from? I don’t remember your face from around here. You got a name?”

    I am…Though incensed by the question, the challenger’s words fell as if they had forgotten midspeech. I… am here to contest our strengths, not our names. His face was stoned with resolve.

    The boy shrugged. “Your call. Don’t blame me when you’re flat on your back!” The boy was already half the distance away from their spot. As if he was striding on the air, their manic grin wrote their intentions: “You will lose and I will laugh afterwards.”

    It was a punch that was blocked that told the boy that the challenger was different. He did not crumble like the others. That alone told him to be wary… were he not so arrogant to draw it up to the Blind Fates.

    Elbow blocked. Palm catch. Left swerve. Shoulder jab. Bruised forearms. Every attack was met with equal retaliation. The boy swung with more reckless abandon until…

    He himself was on his back. The glare of the Sun was in his eyes as he groaned the pain away. A shadow cast over him. A hand reached down to him.

    My name is Patroclus, Son of Menoetius. I believe your name is ample compensation for my victory.

    The boy narrowed his eyes… and snorted. This was his first defeat and yet… he wouldn’t mind getting beat like that again.

    “Achilles. Son of Peleus. Your dad’s name sounds familiar. Didn’t he sail on the Argo with my pops? Why didn’t you start with that? Haha!”

    Patroclus smiled.

    He felt happy.

    ---

    They were just playing games.

    “Hah! 20! Beat that, Pat!” Achilles declared.

    An uneven mess of animal bones and die. It was an invention of the King of Evia, but Patroclus felt an affinity to the King’s Game. It was a game of gathering as many aged bones before the biggest bone thrown in the air reached the ground. A simple game with simple rules for children to follow.

    That is assuming that the children playing are similarly simple.

    With deft hands, it was no effort for the Son of Thetis to surpass all of his challengers. Though children of the Myrmidons, their dexterity and hand-eye coordination was no match for the Fastest Boy in Greece. To triumph over the blessed Child would be quite the undertaking.

    Very well. An acceptance to the challenge, Patroclus tossed the astragali into the air. Achilles wondered what tricks his closest confidant would pull this time. Perhaps they will toss the bone so high as to touch the sky; maybe they will crush all the bones to dust so they will hold more “pieces”; or it is possible that they will pull out a bag full of bones from their back.

    Achilles has grown wary of his friend’s trickery, but the absurdity will always amuse him…

    And then a handful of bones began to poke through his friend’s hands. Small, white as ash, indistinguishable to the bones on the ground. Patroclus catches the bone with his free hand rather than letting it kiss the ground.

    21 bones.

    “Wha-? Bah-?”

    Man is a type of animal, will you deny this? My dear Achilles?

    “Ahah… Cheeky as always, eh?”

    Chiron is always espousing the necessity of guile. It is fine to act within the rules, but there comes a time where cunning is the only option.

    “And Knucklebones is one of those times?”

    Mm… only when against you. Always using that head of yours to brute force everything. I save only the most unthinkable tactics for you.

    Achilles laughed. Against such brazen cheating, a boy his age would have decried the unfairness of it all. But between a boy who was a green blur and a boy who was his equal in ploys, it was hard to consider any sort of standards for them to abide by.

    “Best two out of three? Before Chiron starts calling us back?”

    Patroclus laughed.

    His heart felt full.

    ---

    It was a starry night like any other.

    “Hey, Pat.”

    Hm?

    Two boys laid upon the grass, staring upon the Firmament where the Gods reside.

    “You think… the Gods will forgive us?”

    A rare question from the brash speedster.

    What do you mean?

    “My ma, you see. I was… supposed to be better than my pops.”

    Peleus?

    “Yeah… If… Zeus didn’t tell ma to marry pops, I wonder… if being a God would make things better?”


    It was either Zeus or Poseidon.

    “Heh… Yeah… I could have been the one to overthrow Zeus.”

    That’s a cruel joke.

    “You’re still smiling.”

    A joke is supposed to make you smile.

    “Haha…”

    ... Why the need for forgiveness, Achilles? Even the Gods should not need to forgive one’s existence.


    The Gods are too petty for forgiveness.

    “Chiron’s lesson today was about ma’s side of the family.”

    Your mother was not a Titan.

    She was our sister and always will be. By Lord Cronus’ will, she will always be a Titan.

    “Titan blood runs in us all, Pat. Chiron would know as well as anyone. He is one.”

    A memory came to him. When he first met the Mentor of Heroes. The shocked recognition of Kin. Chiron never looked at him like that afterwards. Always a pupil, never a Titan.

    “Father… Uncle… What have you done?”

    Horror. That was what he saw in those eyes that can shoot anything, anywhere.

    The Titan of Mentors only saw who he was, not what he is. It was hard to recognize anything else when the Titans were involved.

    “Oi, teach. What’s got you so pale as death?” Jason grumbled among the youths.

    “Oh. Pay it no mind, Jason. We shall continue the lessons.” His fear morphed to placid so quickly back then…

    But… that cannot be right? How could Jason still be a student? Plus… He can definitely see Teacher Chiron up there right now. Aiming his bow upon the Scorpion in the night sky.

    I know he is. It’s just… I am not sure who my mother is.

    That does not matter. We know who you are.

    “Sorry, Pat. Didn’t mean to bring it up.”

    No. No no, it’s okay.

    “Hey, Titan or not. Even if the Gods are against you, count me by your side. Who needs their forgiveness anyway?”


    Achilles laughed in the Gods’ faces with reckless abandon.

    Where the heart was supposed to be, young emotions stirred in the Comet Runner’s better half.

    I feel the same way.

    ---

    He’s over there.

    The sight of his dear Achilles in a dress was certainly a treat to the eyes.

    “Are you certain?” Odysseus looked upon the sea of women in luxury cloth and silks. “Thetis would resort to dressing her son like a princess?”

    Despite their actions, irrational or otherwise, a parent’s Intentions mean well.

    A sentiment Patroclus cannot hope to confirm for himself.

    Anyways. I can recognize those carrot fronds anywhere, any color.

    “Hm…” Odysseus followed Patroclus’ finger towards an unassuming girl. Or rather… a girl trying too hard to be unassuming with her averted gaze and her friend nearby trying to distract his attention away.

    Then he sighs with lament.

    “I wanted to use the cart.”

    Lord Odysseus. Stern Patroclus coughed, wanting his Achilles by his side again now. Plus… the cart reminded him of Poseidon. What is the reason for Lord Odysseus’ fascination with horses?

    “Right.”

    A snap of the tactician’s fingers and a suspiciously-built cart rolled into view.

    Patroclus’ eyes similarly rolled.

    “Ladies of Skyros! I bring you gifts and favors in my name as King of Ithaca!”

    Like the howling storm outside, the women swarmed the array of clothing, jewelry, and perfumes. Lady Cleopatra admired herself in a mirror embossed with gold. Lady Semiramis was particular to a bottle of perfume that reminded her of home. Lady Helen avoided everything that reminded her of a city she condemned and its cruelest fate…

    And of course, Achilles was fond of how pointy the weapons hidden underneath the gifts were. His lady friend was glaring at him in exasperation.

    A judging glance from Patroclus was enough of an unnecessary confirmation for Odysseus.

    A mere second later, a rambunctious commotion emerged from outside, louder than the buffering storms. A warhorn sounded, drowning out everything mentioned.

    A whirling wind as harsh as the ones outside passed them by. If one listens closely, they can hear, “Oh, hey Pat! See you at the boats!” Said as if such a comical display was nothing noteworthy.

    “We set sail for Troy.” Said Odysseus, obviously satisfied as he walked off to follow. “Prepare yourself, Patroclus.”

    Watching the captain leave, Patroclus…

    Walks towards the sole maiden who refused the gifts. Seated on a window sill, her gaze looked forlorn with the maelstrom outside reflecting in her eyes. The docked black fleet ebbed and flowed along with the tumultuous waves, as if Poseidon was reminding them to hurry along to their Destiny.

    “Sometimes… I wonder…” The Princess of Troy mused. “If only Odysseus had not suggested the Oath. If my brother Castor and sister Pollux had helped me make a better choice. If… I was not so indecisive. If I had just chosen someone, anyone else. Anyone who was not a King. A simple farm boy. Maybe…”

    The Mercenary stayed his tongue. The memory of the contest was a blur to him. It never mattered to him anymore than a job.

    Helen laid eyes on him. Grief, regret, remorse.

    “Maybe you, Patroclus. Someone with a name History will not remember. So that this War never happened.”

    He shook his head. He understands, but…

    My Heart belongs to someone else.

    Helen’s lips quivered. Mindlessly, she shook her head. Her eyes welled with dejection.

    “So did mine.”

    Without another word, the Prize of Troy was whisked away by the howling winds like a piece of silk. Carried away by the drama-seeking hand of Aphrodite to be seated at her ordained place within the high walls of Troy.

    Patroclus watched on with pity for the girl. To be a plaything for the Powers that Be, to be entertainment for bored Gods.

    To be a vehicle for their intentions…

    “He talks about you a lot.”

    A woman spoke. He can deduce who it was. Or rather, he remembered who it was.

    I know.

    “I love him too.”

    He is free to love whomever he wants.

    “That includes you, I hope you know.”

    ...

    A fire stirs inside.

    “He’s waiting for you. On the Isle.”

    I know.

    “When did you realize?”

    I remembered. Maybe earlier. Maybe just now. Maybe too late. I remembered.

    “Then you remember what you need to do?”


    A nod.

    “The Gods do not forgive easily.”

    ... I know.

    “Until we meet again, Patroclus. And again and again.”

    For the rest of Eternity. Until then, Deidamia.


    He stepped into the storm.

    ---

    The beating of waves against the black boat’s sides, the stern orders of a captain to his crew, the distant cajoling of kings and princes brought together by an ancient pact.

    “Can’t say I ain’t excited to be on this ship, huh Pat?” Achilles mused as he tightened the rope of the sails.

    That is one of the reasons why Chiron sent me with you. You were practically the first soul on board when Odysseus found you out on Skyros.

    “Bah, teach was being a worrywort. I already got someone to do that for him.” Achilles chortled.

    I’m honored, truly. Patroclus can only his head in jest. I would’ve come regardless of the fact.

    “That much need saying?”

    It’s the only way to get through that hot head of yours.

    “Ha! You got me there!”


    The Coalition of Tyndareus were thousands of ships strong and hundred thousands of men stronger. It was hard for Patroclus to grasp sight of the crashing waves made by the fleet’s wake.

    This much over a woman.He mused.

    “If I remember right, weren’t you there at that contest?” Achilles asked. “I wanted to go, but I was too young. Least that’s what my mom and pops said.”

    I was, but… Only a vague recollection came to him, only impressions.It was for mercenary work.

    “Ah, just guard work? Could’ve fooled me. You’d make a handsome groom. I heard Helen was quite the looker. Ain’t that right, Odysseus? You were there.” Achilles called the passing-by captain.

    “That she was, young Achilles. Before Penelope, I was a naïve man looking for his other half. Barely a legacy in my name, I still went because the daughter of Zeus proved too much a siren to ignore. The contests were mere tests of strength fit for any strong man. Sadly, most of my strengths lie in my mind.”

    “Don’t forget to mention that this whole thing was your idea, eh Odysseus!” The laughter came from the husband of the inciting woman, Menelaus.

    “It was not my intent to march these young boys to their deaths. I hope you realize that, King of Sparta.” Odysseus sighed his remorse.

    “Ah, don’t let it weigh you down so much. War builds character. It’ll do the boys good, assuming they’ll make it out on the other side.”

    “A vote of confidence I lack confidence in, brother.” The Eldest Brother, Agamemnon grouched from the bones on the barrel between the brothers. “It is you who called the Oath, don’t you forget.”

    “And it was you who resorted to Palademedes.” Odysseus cradled his forehead at the sight of his nemesis’ bony invention.

    “And it was you who blew the horn! Can’t we forget the finger pointing and cheer up already!?” Achilles grew tired of the complaining from old men. His hand itches to shed Trojan blood.

    Patroclus found his own hand mirroring it, as if hungry for something more than blood.

    Maybe he is just hungry in general.

    “Land, Lord Agamemnon.” A boy relayed the shouted news from the other ships

    The General of Forty Suitors gazed upon the beach populated with half a million Trojans.

    And yet no Greek dared willing to become the first casualty.

    “Curse that Calchas. Curse your mother, Achilles.” He muttered to himself.

    “I ought to skin you for bad mouthing her.” The Comet Runner grumbled. “But she had good counsel to keep me at bay.”

    “The Greatest Honors goes to the first man to step foot on the beach!” Shouted the King and relayed across the fleet.

    Yet none step forth towards the barbarians throwing rocks and jeers towards them.

    “Blast the Fates. Not even our most foolhardy will go.” Palamedes clicked his tongue.

    “Well Helen’s not going to come back to your brother by herself.” Menoetius spoke up. “Either the first of us die or we all go home.”

    “Stay your tongue, myrmidon.” Achilles commanded. “Unless you want to be the first to be thrown onto shore. I only keep you aboard because my father vouched your competence on the Argo.”

    The Weapon stayed silent as the bickering of his betters flew like the uneasy breeze. The presence of divine eyes was on him, he sensed. He ought to blind them.

    Zeus and his ilk are there. They will all die here. This I swear.

    “Huh? You said something Patroclus?” Achilles called the Weapon.

    I did not say anything? More a question than an assertion.

    “Must be mother whispering into my ear. Just how many wind nymphs will she send?” His commander in Peleus’ name grouched.

    She is a traitor like the rest of them. She will die with the rest of them.

    “There! Lord Protesilaus has landed!” Shouted a boy, repeating what was said across the fleet.

    Far from their boat were a commotion along the shores. Blood has begun to mix with the seawater.

    The first Greek has died.

    “That’s our cue, eh Patroclus?” Cackled Achilles.

    Yes… May they die by our hands.The Weapon nodded solemnly. His resolve gathered once again.

    “Right you are! First one there is rotten carrion!”

    Patroclus can only stare at the back of his beloved Achilles grow smaller and smaller as they glided across the waves and carved a bloody path into the beach. Shining like a shooting star.

    As if echoing the sentiment, Cronos drew his harpe and pointed towards Troy’s high walls. “Titans! Today is the day Mount Olympus burns! Charge!”

    The Sea of Stars was soon silenced with the yelling of a billion dead souls. Man, Gods, Titans. Their destiny awaits.

    For the rest of Eternity.



    Skills

    "Myrmidons! On Achilles's position! Charge!"

    Avenger B-

    He was meant to become their version of Nemesis. To dispel Deliverance to their children. To act as their Tool of Retribution. From every infinitesimal piece that is scattered across Tartarus lies within a Will that shall never be extinguished. The wholehearted Will to bear Hatred against the Winners of the Titanomachia. With every slain foe, their plan for vengeance grows ever closer to completion: To destroy and annihilate everything Olympus has stolen from them. Everything has been defined to Patroclus as the “World of Olympia.” Because if the Titans cannot rule the World, then no one should be allowed to rule its ashes.

    "Do not stop! Do not slouch! We will win this day!"

    Magic Resistance A
    A Birth devised by the Titan of Doomed Might, Meoetius. His body was forged from the wreckage of slain Titans. His Mothers and Fathers sacrificed everything that they are to bring forth his existence. Their Flesh. Their Bones. Their very Essence. Their future, however bleak it was, was entrusted to this wretched conglomeration of their Parents. A Corpus that has been jury rigged with parts that saw battle in the Titanomachia. To be able to withstand any blow lesser than the Gods, to outperform any Mortal man, to power through the harshest of environments. All to facilitate the World’s destruction. Such is the gift the spiteful Titans have given to their son.

    "Lord Agamemnon! They are approaching you!"

    Item Construction (Bones) A+

    A skeleton composed of weapons. Bones that can slay the Gods. Armaments fit for a Titan. Swords, Axes, Lances, Bows, Daggers stronger than Adamant. All manner of killing implements were handed down the Scion of the Titans. Familiar with them all because they are a part of him. Knowing each and everyone of them by name, the name of the parent it once belonged to. Names that were only a blur to him. To call upon their might, he needs but pull them from himself. If incapable of even that, he shall pull them from the Bones of Gaia, the Earth itself.

    "The Gods are watching us, Achaeans! Do not let up!"

    Aptitude for Slaughter (Bones) A+

    Noble Phantasm of their own right, the Organs of the Titans are instilled with unimaginable power. But they were cracked and shattered by the Gods of Olympus. Having lost the majority of their state-of-the-art functions, those same Bones can still perform the most rudimentary of actions: To slaughter. To massacre. To inflict justice. To assert dominance. To instantly carry out Karma with a mere swing of a weapon. Weapons from the Age of Titans, withered away by the passage of time. And yet, they still hunger for the blood of Olympus. A broken sword works just as fine as a dagger. A fragmented mind can still perform a single action.

    "Do the Gods smile upon you? Do you believe in your might?"

    Self-Replenishment A

    For so long as the Gods of Olympus still live, the Titans shall forever bay for their blood. For as long as the World lives and breaths, the Titans shall forever desire to shed its blood. For so as long as the enemies of the Titan still live, Spite and Pettiness shall keep their Wills alive. Wills that drive Berserker forwards without end. He should not die. He can not die. They forbid it. Not until the Peak of Olympus burns. Not until the World burns. Not until the hearts of each and every single God is personally carved out of their chests. Only when the World Gaia made is burning shall their flames of hatred be extinguished.

    "I will not yield! I will not stop! Onwards!"

    Oblivion Correction B-

    When he was born, there was no way of sending him to perform his sole task without attracting the attention of the Gods, their warden Hades especially. No one is allowed to leave Tartarus, especially the Titans. Any actions would not succeed in their child’s escape. Except one. The Lethe that flows by the palace of Hades. The River of Forgetfulness and Concealment that shall lead through the cave of Hypnos where the child shall find themselves in the waking world… but without memory of who they were. No memory of who their parents are. No memory of their true purpose. But the Titans knew. Someday. Their child floating down the river will remember.

    "May this day become Legend!"

    Evaporation of Reason A

    It was Apollo. It was him who did it. Slaughtering scores upon scores of Trojans, the pair of Patroclus and Achilles were both single-handedly winning the War for the Achaeans. So much so that they drove the tides of war to crash into Troy’s walls. With Achilles nowhere to be found or perhaps he took a break, it was only Patroclus who met the son of Zeus, Sarpedon standing in front of the gates of Troy. It was Sarpedon’s blood that Patroclus’s sword drank. It was the bloodline of Zeus that the Titans wanted. It was Apollo who realized who Patroclus was. It was Apollo who killed him.

    Noble Phantasm
    Awaken, Weapon of the Titans



    Sins of the Father
    Vengeance of the Titans


    Rank: A
    Type: Anti-Army

    It was a shower of bloody raindrops.

    It was that day the Titans’ plan shall come to fruition.

    It was the blood of Zeus that awakened his heritage.

    It was at that moment, Patroclus died.

    It was at that moment, the Titans returned.

    Once the blood of Olympus is tasted, there is no turning back.

    The fire that was once missing within his chest now burns with the Ancestral Sin of the Titans.

    The Sin of Retribution.

    To kill the Bloodlines of every Olympian participating within the Trojan was just the start.

    To Destroy Troy was just a beneficial happenstance.

    To kill the Gods themselves was the truest objective.

    For they can be killed here on this battlefield of the gods.

    There is no Achaean or Trojan anymore.

    There are only the Titans and the Olympians.

    As was the Titanomachia, now is the Trojan War.

    Cutting swaths of Demigod blood, a path of divine ichor shall paint his warpath towards the Gods.

    Battalions and legions of soldiers no longer threatened him. Words and Reason had all but left him. For his thirsting weapons have much to say to the Gods.

    Ares. Athena. Apollo. Artemis. Hermes. Dionysus. Demeter. Poseidon. Hades. Aphrodite. Hera.

    Zeus.


    Using the Bones of the Titans, he will run through each and every one of them in a rage only a Titan can exact. Mustering more and more Bones to trigger metamorphosis into a bone-white monstrosity that rivals Typhon. A growth rate that will only continue until Olympus burns.

    A Shout towards the Heavens.

    A Grudge born from the Titanomachia.

    The Embodiment of Wrath.

    The Beast of Retribution.

    In War, there is no friend or foe.

    There is only the dead and the dying.

    He will not stop. He can not stop. His unyielding body will kill and kill and kill.

    Until all the Gods are dead.

    Until Gaia’s World is ashes.

    Until this Grudge is settled.

    Until-

    “It would do us all good if you would go down, son.”

    A gleaming helm…

    A Spear guided by the Sun…

    After so much death by his hands…

    After so much bloodshed…

    Only a single thought remained in that mind so addled with Rage as his body breaks apart, bone by bone.

    Achilles…

    In his chest, the Flames of Retribution have died.

    The Memories of Achilles remain.


    Golden Pithos
    Urn of Reunion


    Rank: D
    Type: Anti-World

    In the mound of clay that was the culmination of the Titan’s Rage…

    Was golden sand.

    The stone-cold Wrath weathered away by the rivers of Time into that sand.

    Whispers of Love can be heard if one were to hold a handful of it to their ears.

    This sand is the very essence of Patroclus.

    Memories of him and the Comet Runner was all that remained of him.

    But he shall never reunite with him.

    To be forever separated from his Achilles.

    For he was a Titan. For all Titans are to be imprisoned within Tartarus, however…

    A Bargain was struck at his last moments.

    By Thetis and Apollo.

    “To end the Cycle of Retribution.”

    “Forever shall you raise your hand against your Progenitors as we have done to ours.”

    “Only then shall you go to Elysium.”


    Only then shall he see Achilles again.

    A Cycle that will never truly end.

    To undertake in this eternal task,

    To repeat the Trojan War. To reenact the Titanomachia. To kill his Mothers and Fathers dressed as Trojans and Achaeans.

    To forget. To fight. To die.

    To relive this Life over and over.

    For the rest of Eternity.

    For the promise of Achilles.

    The pact was made.

    This Urn filled with Golden Ashes purified by this eternal service, is proof that the Bond of Achilles and Patroclus stands Eternal.


    Personality
    He had no memories. He had no past. He had no future. His mind will struggle to remember. He will struggle to speak. His aloof stupor born from his stygian service will be a difficulty to overcome. All he can remember was… Achilles. Therefore, he shall be the opposite to him. If Achilles was hotheaded, he shall be calm and wise. If Achilles desires to pick a fight, he shall mediate and assuage tensions. If Achilles wishes to lament over the loss of his trophies, then he will do his best to comfort him. If he is nothing without Achilles, then who is Patroclus?

    The Sin of Dependency. If his entire existence to the Tapestry of Human History was related to Achilles, then who is Patroclus? That is a question he must answer himself. His existence is a cobbled mess of Titans and their final moments. Memories of the Titanomachia would have raged within his mind had it not been the Blessing of the River Lethe.

    Without the Titans, without Achilles, without the Trojan War, who is Patroclus?

    That is the meaning of the Sisyphean Trial that Thetis and Apollo proposed.

    “Become someone who can stand by Achilles.”

    Find the meaning of Patroclus.

    To be more than a Titan.

    To be more than just a shadow of his parents.

    To be more than just Achilles’s beloved.

    To relive his Life over and over.

    To relive the Beautiful World he saw in Tartarus until…

    Elysium.

    Relationships

    Achilles
    Achilles…

    His heart can only swell at the sight of his beloved Achilles in Elysium.

    Thetis, Apollo
    I remember… the oath I made to you two… I will not fail. I can’t.

    His Trial is not yet complete. Elysium has barred its doors to him.

    Menoetius
    Father…

    He remembers… hatred. Filial love. The fury against the Gods. The patience of Age. He remembers both.

    Titans
    ... I’m sorry.

    For Achilles, all Titans, Good and Evil must die. By the Will of Olympus.

    Trojans, Achaeans
    I… remember you. I think. Did I kill you?

    An eternity of service and washings within the River Lethe has eroded away his memories of the War. The sole constant he can remember is Achilles.

    Nikola Tesla
    Titan… The technology of Titans… I sense them…

    The Bones of Titans resonate with each other… and those like them. All the better for him to seek and kill them.

    Umar ibn Khattab
    Olympus… I sense… the majesty of Olympus… Zeus?

    Worn down by endless Wars, he cannot recognize any foreign pantheons and authorities as anything other than Greek.

    Captain Nemo
    Water… I remember… Or… I don’t remember… A river… I forgot…

    The babbling noises of the River Lethe are all he can remember when he sees the Captain of the Nautilus.
    I will remember you… I hope.

    Red-Handed Jill?
    You wish to play?
    He smiles; a memory of childlike innocence came to him. Alright. How about Knucklebones? Or… is it just called jacks to you?
    He remembers a certain carrot-headed boy calling him Pat.

    Ullikummi
    Just like me… A Tool made by Gods to wrought destruction towards all who they desire to be dealt with.

    Both are kindred spirits, but he is unsure if he should approach the Saber for fear of both of their parameters compulsing them to kill each other.

    Shu
    This feeling… Is it the Titans again? Or… I smell a rat… Did rats snuck into the cargo hold again?

    His memories reminded him of all the times trapping rats that snuck into the food stores of the Black Fleets on the journey to Troy.

    N.A.S. Astra
    Titans… I will kill Titans?
    His eyes solidified; his reason restored. Very well. Let us go, Child of Daedalus. Post-haste.
    The Tool meant to avenge the Titans shall kill them…
    He stops and turns to the girl.
    ... I believe I have met Nemo before. Would you like to hear the most recent story of your Captain?

    Hector
    You… killed me? Thank you? Or curse you? Or…

    Flames of Hatred flared, only to die instantly. The Old man can only sigh in pity as he reached down to scoop the golden sands.

    Bond Essence

    A Pithos

    Troy’s greatest defender dumped the last of Patroclus’s ashes into the urn, closing it shut with the accompanying lid. Muffled whispers of Love can be heard within it.

    “How far did he get this time?” He said to the sheep plush on his shoulder.

    “Farther than last, just short compared to his next attempt.” The God Apollo reported.

    “At this rate, he’ll never make it to Elysium.” Complained the old man as he watched the pieces of Titans warred among themselves. Their reason was robbed from recognizing each other.

    “It’s only until he comes to be his own person. He is still relatively young compared to us Gods.” Apollo said slyly.

    A sorrowful roar cracked all across Tartarus for the umpteenth time. If one can make it out, they would hear,

    “PATROCLUS!”

    The old man grouched as he grabbed Durindana.

    “I always hate this part.”

    “So does your brother Paris, but I LOVE this part!”

    “Don’t you Gods have something better to entertain yourselves than watching this War over and over again?”


    “We are very adept multitaskers. By the way, pass me the jar.”

    “Why?”

    “I need him to perform a side hustle. There’s a Titan we missed. Well, more like a Titan we pardoned, but she kinda got mad about what happened to her son.”


    “Not much different from Thetis… Or any of you Gods.”

    “Hey. Our kids are our future! Of course we’d get mad if something happens to them!”

    “Not like mortals can fight back if you did something to their kids.”


    “Ehhh, don’t think about it!”

    Hector of Troy braced himself for another death.

    And for another iteration of the War in Tartarus.

    For all Eternity.

    Or until Patroclus figures himself out.

    “Just hurry up, kid…”


    AN
    I am tired.
    But I finished in time.
    Now I gotta...
    Go lie down now.
    And think about what I just wrote.
    Because it reads like a delirious ramblings of a college graduate. Oh wait.
    Uh... Yeah. If anyone has questions about this sheet,
    Just email me at my academic email addre- WAIT IM A GRADUATE!
    Just uh... Just ask me for clarification here on the thread.
    Because I can't be asked to proofread my own work right now.
    Good luck everyone with the last minute submissions.
    Yeah.
    Yea.
    Ye.
    Y.
    Why.
    Why do I do this to me...?


  4. #524
    祖 Ancestor
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    This is a bit pedantic on my end, or it's more so my own fault with my own sheet. But Umar doesn't like to be seen as a god-like or even a king-like figure, so he hides himself amongst the poorest with his first personal skill. I don't see any like-seeing type skill on Patroclus, then again. It would be hard to formulate a comment if that is how they meet up.

  5. #525
    祖 Ancestor Vididii's Avatar
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    It was 2005, a year after the events of the Fifth Fuyuki Holy Grail War- an occurrence of much tumult, far away from the peaceful night of the present. Or rather, it would have been, had some rambunctious youths not become incredibly inebriated, and drove a car up the steps of the Ryudo Temple in a beer-bloated stupor. Three of the 4 young men in the car were hospitalized, one dying, and the famous gate which flanked the temple was nearly destroyed, their vehicle along with it.

    It would eventually be restored over the course of the following months, and the men reprimanded with jail time, but the area atop those temple steps would feel different to those who would visit. Maybe it was the feeling of the incident that couldn't be shaken, the regret for our fellow man to have done something so stupid and shameful. Perhaps it had disturbed the spirits of the mountain... or was it the tension brought by the urban legend surrounding the incident- about how the car went missing from the scene after the men were pulled out? Nobody could seem to locate that particular paper trail...

    As always in Fuyuki, the truth is much stranger than how a non-Magus may see it.


    The Phantom Racer



    Rider
    Sasaki Kojirou



    Other Classes: Assassin, Saber
    True Name: "Sasaki Kojirou"
    Alternative Titles: The Drift King of Mt. Enzou, The Chasing Spirit, The Intimidator, Initial-K, Time Trial Ghost
    Alignment: Neutral Evil
    Place of Origin: Japan


    Lore:
    A Gestalt Wraith made in the likeness of one Sasaki Kojirou, the mythical swordsman who could match even Miyamoto Musahi in skill- he is fundamentally the same spirit as the one summoned in the 5th Fuyuki Holy Grail War. However, with the remains of his summoning circle reactivated by the destructive driving incident atop Mt. Enzou, he was re-summoned as a wayward Rider-Class wraith, the car that crashed through the gate, a Toyota AE36, now fused to his spirit origin. Now featuring decorative wood paneling on the inside of the car made from the gate, he is able to leave the territory and travel around Japan at night.

    With the incident of the gate-crashing becoming somewhat superstitious though, those who partook in street racing would begin to come to the temple and pray to the spirit of misfortune to not befall them whilst racing- it became a ritual to ward off crashes from the community. What it did however, was fuel Kojirou. Those who went to the shrine at midnight would find a period of safety on the road, until the period of their next big race- there, no matter their performance, an unrecognized car would show. A slightly beat-up, Toyota AE36, would seemingly come from nowhere, and pursue everyone in the race like a bat out of hell- you could try ramming it, leading it the wrong way, calling off the race prematurely- but it would always show up to hunt down first place. Like an infernal blueshell, the "Phantom Racer" would become an urban legend among the racing community- more than an urban legend really, it became a challenge.

    Eventually though, in 2014, after another largescale incident in Fuyuki, the Phantom Racer would disappear, undefeated. Some say the events that took place in the lockdown of the city had something to do with it, but for all the racers knew, they had merely lost a brother on the other side.


    Parameters:


    STR: C
    END: D
    AGI: A+
    MGI: E
    LCK: A


    [SIZE=4]Height: 176 cm
    Weight: 63 kg
    Likes: Flowers, birds, wind, the Moon, the thrill of racing under pale moonlight
    Dislikes: Ugliness of the Heart
    Talent: Hitting wyverns while driving
    Natural Enemy: Summer Musashi (Cars sink where jetskis do not)
    Attribute: Wraith
    Notable Traits: Hominidae Servant, Humanoid, Servant, Weak to Enuma Elish, Urban Legend
    Armament: Toyota AE36, Nodachi
    Catalyst: A Eurobeat CD, A sliver of wood from the walls of the Ryudou Temple

    Class Skills:

    Riding: EX
    He who mastered the Tsubame Gaeshi in life, now masters the art of Driving in death. The Manual Transmission System is quite similar to his variety of swordplay, or so he says.

    Personal Skills:

    Fast and Furious: A
    A skill replacing Knowledge of the Sowa. A curiously named skill, it signifies the ability to fight in, or in tandem with a moving motor vehicle. He may joust with it, using the length of his sword to cut through opponents in deadly drive-by attacks, or use his "noble phantasm" to seal the car in another dimension while maintaining it's momentum, and fight while releasing and resealing it to maintain pressure on opponents

    Mind's Eye (Fake): A
    Premonition or sixth sense, originating from “predictions augmented by experience”. It may be called a natural talent to sense danger.
    Even in complete darkness, in horrible weather, or being blinded by headlights, he will always see the road ahead of him.

    Vitrification: B+
    An ability commonly called the “heart of clear water”. More precisely, it is a mental state acquired after reaching the pinnacle of arduous training. With this ability, Kojirou can maintain a cool and collected heart, regardless of the situation. Even when facing his very own death will not cause him to waver. During battle, mental interference such as charm and fear sorceries activated by the opponent is completely neutralized. For a “gate guardian”, this ability is certainly very useful. Like the many trees that surround the Ryudo Temple, Kojirou watches the gate in silence with a heart of clear water, just like an unwavering guardian.

    Noble Phantasm:

    "When one really thinks about it, cars, like dragons, are just large swallows."

    Tsubame Gaeshi: Grand Prix
    Anti-Dimensional Sword Technique

    Tsubame Gaeshi is the fabled technique of the legendary swordsman Sasaki Kojiro who was said to be able to cut down a swallow in mid-flight. He achieved a Mystery attained only with human techniques that rivaled the Noble Phantasms of Servants. While still not a noble phantasm, he has found a new application in it's functionality of cutting through dimensions. By applying the mindset he used in order to create the 3 consecutive slashes of the original technique, he has figured out to create a large enough slash for he and his car to travel through. In truth, he has seized the Concept of "Cutting" after his technique, already on the level of True Magic, had its scope of application widened.


    Personality:
    He is still the collection of spirits known as Kojirou- a quiet, elegant man with a certain serenity to him, who has made peace with his own life and death. His true love for the sword however, has been joined by another activity- driving. He views it as a sort of modern duel- it contains the same rush, and deadly potential of the old art, but if performed adequately by all those who partake, it avoids the taking of life and becomes suitable for the modern era. It can be wild, it can be honorable... it's a soulful activity in a lot of ways. While they could never see or talk to him directly, he greatly values the decade he spent as a member of the Japanese Street Racing scene as their pursuing ghost. It felt good to duel again.


    Relationships:
    Nikola Tesla- -"A world of madness, without order... to destroy what came before entirely and replace it with something wholly outside our own realm? I am not one to throw away the changes time brings, but if I were to throw away the pasts that made me? i would simply not be here as I am now. I begin my pursuit against you."

    Umar Ibn Khattab- "A great purveyor, a watcher of all before him... please, view the fruits of my labors, if you would. I believe they are truly a sight to behold."

    Captain Nemo- "That Craft of yours... No, I don't wish to race it, I believe we are in separate worlds in that regard- but I believe I've seen it before- Do you stow it in the numerical abyss? I do believe we use the same garage!"

    Red Handed Jill- "Your ship soars both the seas, and the skies? Alas, I am envious- I have only managed to master the land thus far."

    Ullikummi- "Ach- Please be careful, you're going to scratch the car if you keep going like that... ah, she cannot hear me."

    Shu- "...You rank so highly, yet you cannot control vehicles? That is no matter! Come, hop in, do mind the blade when you get in- allow me to teach you, so that you may join me in an honorable contest of speed and control."

    Patroclus- "Ah, the man who best knew Achilles! Yet... lap after lap, you seem to travel against the gods... allow me to request something of you- let me join you for a cycle."

    ...

    "Do I demean you? Not at all. I achieved what I was able to through repetition as well- yet in doing what was deemed impossible with the blade, I came upon a technique wholly other to the realm of swordsmanship. When I was introduced to the vehicle I possess in this form, I was able to evolve my swordsmanship yet again- and as I am here now, I request that I be allowed to do the same with you, to further your pursuit of your beloved."

    ...

    "Why do I wish to aid you in such a task? Simple. I too, wish to chase Achilles. My reason is trivial compared to yours, but he is well known as one of, if not the fastest Heroic Spirit. I wish to test that. Now, will you have me?"

  6. #526
    Local Extra Class Aficionado DelRey's Avatar
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    Yo, i apologize for the delay. Contest ends. Voting open, a compilation comes later.
    "Let's see the color of your coin, my friend."



    Behold my vault of Heroes.
    Where the Heavens and the Abyss breath the Music of Humanity.


    The King's duty is to provide. And provide, I shall.
    University of Formatting | Gallery of Potential | Memorandum of the Extra Class Kings

    Our Kingdom will grow. And we shall know each citizen.
    Create-a-Servant 4 soon.

  7. #527
    Local Extra Class Aficionado DelRey's Avatar
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    Foreigner - Nikola Tesla by Dreamerless

    Ruler - Umar Ibn Khattab by Ismail2002

    Rider - Captain Nemo by Gl4re

    Rider - Nursery Rhyme "Red Handed Jill" by Anju Addams

    Saber - Ullikummi by RoydGolden

    Rider - Shu by Roydgolden

    Avenger - Patroclus by SimpleScribe

    Rider - Sasaki Kojiro by Vididii
    Last edited by DelRey; October 7th, 2023 at 05:35 AM. Reason: Concept Contest Compendium
    "Let's see the color of your coin, my friend."



    Behold my vault of Heroes.
    Where the Heavens and the Abyss breath the Music of Humanity.


    The King's duty is to provide. And provide, I shall.
    University of Formatting | Gallery of Potential | Memorandum of the Extra Class Kings

    Our Kingdom will grow. And we shall know each citizen.
    Create-a-Servant 4 soon.

  8. #528
    魔境の智慧 Anju Addams's Avatar
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    Hmmm...not many entries this time huh? I suppose it was a hard...concept.
    Anyway, voting is going ahead and here are my picks -

    Rider - Captain Nemo - Gl4re (3 Points) I like this sheet not only for both the Nadia & LOEG faceclaims but because it's actually the sheet I wanted in canon instead of 'white dude who clones himself for some reason' as it truly represents Captain Nemo. I think his Concept of Imaginary Number Space being mixed with his ideals for freedom that have been incorporated into both the Nautilus and his other Noble Phantasm is awesome. As such, this one gets my top vote. Well done!

    Rider - Sasaki Kojiro - Vididii (2 Points)
    Okay. This one made me giggle quite a bit truthfully. Joke sheets are always fun and this is no different. Rider Sasaki is not something I would have ever thought of honestly and I think not just making it the Carnival Phantasm truck makes it stand out a bit better in originality. Kudos for thinking of a way to utilise Tsubame Gaeshi to effectively teleport in a car too. Neat!

    Rider - Shu - RoydGolden (1 Points) Not much to say here other than I think the idea of the Zodiac Signs being used as Servants is quite interesting. The Concept of being always first is neat but there is one reason it loses points. Based on all her skills and her NP, she feels more like an Assassin than a Rider to me. Yeah, I get what you were going for yet something about it just feels more 'sneaky rat' instead of anything else. Otherwise, nice job!


    Servant Sheet Compilation
    Pronouns - She/Her
    'Winner' of the Legendary Jack-Off

  9. #529
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors
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    3 Points: Rider - Shu : Royd Golden - An awesome sheet which just got even better with the rework.
    2 Points: Foreigner - Tesla: Dreamerless - I really like this update! Great job Dreamerless!
    1 Point: Avenger - Patroclus: Simplescribe - I think this was an interesting idea, though somewhat confusing.

  10. #530
    祖 Ancestor Dreamerless's Avatar
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    Oh, you're allowed to vote if you've entered?

    Then:

    3 Points- Nemo
    2 Points- Patroclus
    1 Point- Kojiro
    My compendium is here: https://blogs.nrvnqsr.com/blog.php/14424

    My fanfiction Fate/Roundabout is here: https://forums.nrvnqsr.com/showthrea...ate-Roundabout

  11. #531
    祖 Ancestor Vididii's Avatar
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    Special Mentions:

    Tesla- Really cool vision of a Tesla Alter- I really liked how you made his bird be the form for Nyarly, that’s a fun way of incorporating that aspect of his history with the Foreigner Familiar system. Funky, I liked him.

    Shu- I like the funny rat very much, I applaud the hustle she has going on.

    “Red Handed Jill”- It hurt me to cut her out of the top 3- like, I’m at work right now, and I’ve been sitting on my ass deliberating over this for the past 45 minutes to an hour. She and the top 3 were all in interchangeable slots for me, that’s how close this was.

    Ultimately though, I had to have Rider here be the fall girl, because my favorite thing about the sheet is that it’s fucking hilarious, but on accident. Because of the formatting error, at least now as I’m reading it on my phone post-edit, it’s in all-caps. Because you have it really nicely intercut with dialogue, it feels like it’s this continuous rendition of Nursery Rhyme just SCREAMING her sheet at you. Like, it comes off as this adorably annoying child screaming at you about the game of play pretend you’re involved in with her, because your imaginary bullets didn’t actually hit her because she was wearing an imaginary bulletproof vest the whole time, shut up, you didn’t get her, she isn’t out for the rest of the round! In that same voice, with the all caps, it comes off as, “This is my reality marble never land, and it’s SUPER COOL, and SUPER FUN, and me and Jack are there, and it’s fun FOREVER, and you can’t LEAVE, and it’s the bestest thing EVER-“ which I fucking ADORE. On top of that, it’s just a really solid, cute sheet. It’s just that extra bit of charm seems to be derived from my own reading of a formatting error, so I would feel super scummy putting it in first.

    1 Point- Captain Nemo
    A Rock Solid what-should-have-been rendition of a character we’ve gotten in FGO. Adore his concept of being “No One” utilized to fulfill the prompt- he’s just a really enjoyable little read, nothing super crazy, but rather steady, as any good captain aims to keep his vessel. A cozy sorta sheet, really like him.

    2 Points- Ullikummi
    Man, this is cool as shit- a WEIRD-ass figure that simply oozes oddity to me, and made to function as a sheet in the form of a bizarre juggernaut. All the while, she’s quite sympathetic, is BALANCED by her leg weakness and lack of proper senses despite the era-appropriate megastats. Like, this is a me thing obviously, but with Schlock war, I have to reroll so many wanked sheets from certain people during the curation process, so it’s really refreshing to see turbostats (which aren’t even that due to the abysmal agility and luck scores!) that I find fitting.

    Saber manages to eke out the number 2 slot for me because of the NP’s however- you reference the first one in your notes as the technical qualification for being conceptual, but I actually really like how the second one comes in as the verb Scar, as opposed to the Noun- being a pillar of the ashen void, her blade’s power allows her to physically scar the earth itself, which I think is fucking sick.

    Just a really rad, bizarrely intriguing figure with a sheet to match.

    3 Points- Patroclus
    *holds you at gunpoint* Heyyyy bestie, you wanna tell me about that whole repeating cyclical conflict that he eternally gets farther and farther into before being allowed to get with the BF? Please?

    Jesting threats aside, I feel like this leads into some grand tale of a final faux-Trojanomachia where he actually DOES manage to make it through, since Apollo describes him as going closer and closer and closer. On top of tremendous narration and great general stat and sheet work, you really just manage to make me want to see him happy… as has been the case for other sheets that I often end up rating highly, it leaves me begging to see more.

  12. #532
    A False Shadow Morg van Destro's Avatar
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    "Without the Titans, without Achilles, without the Trojan War, who is Patroclus?"

    I'm not gonna vote, but this is my question. One that you yourself ask in the sheet.

    Who is this? Because this isn't Patroclus. This is someone else amped up to the 'enth degree that had his name and some details of who he was slapped onto him. This is taking inspiration from the FC and going above and beyond till the product is almost unrecognizable from where it began. It's my small problem with Kamera's Mnemosyne ratcheted to 11. I don't mean to be harsh, but this... I honestly don't know who this is supposed to be other than someone you're trying to make me feel something for, but it is so beyond its origins that all I'm left wondering is "Why didn't you just streamline your Faker version? Make that one make more sense?"

    I feel... disappointed in every sense of the word.
    Do you like jazz short stories? Do you want something to distract from making Servants? Do you wish the idea of Shirou Kotomine didn't immediately bring edgelords to mind? Well, I can't promise it's good, but some would disagree with me.
    Fate/Without Justice

  13. #533
    魔境の智慧 Anju Addams's Avatar
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    Yeah. That's fair. I write in All-Caps on Google Docs due to my (quite awful) eyesight and I was so annoyed at the other formatting issue, I didn't want to sit through fixing it again.


    Servant Sheet Compilation
    Pronouns - She/Her
    'Winner' of the Legendary Jack-Off

  14. #534
    夜属 Nightkin
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    3 Points Rider - "Red Handed Jill"
    2 Points Saber - Ullikimmi
    1 Point Rider - Captain Nemo

  15. #535
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    3 points: Patroclus
    2 points: "Red Handed Jill"
    1 point: Captain Nemo

  16. #536
    祖 Ancestor Dreamerless's Avatar
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    wow, I'm definitely lost. Well, nvm. it was fun and I got to see some good sheets.
    My compendium is here: https://blogs.nrvnqsr.com/blog.php/14424

    My fanfiction Fate/Roundabout is here: https://forums.nrvnqsr.com/showthrea...ate-Roundabout

  17. #537
    祖 Ancestor
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    At least you get some points and an honorable mention

  18. #538
    祖 Ancestor Dreamerless's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ismail2002 View Post
    At least you get some points and an honorable mention
    Yeah, I get that.
    My compendium is here: https://blogs.nrvnqsr.com/blog.php/14424

    My fanfiction Fate/Roundabout is here: https://forums.nrvnqsr.com/showthrea...ate-Roundabout

  19. #539
    Not a day over sixty and with the eyes of a cornered ferret. WhiteFrenzy's Avatar
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    I had a sheet almost ready for this month's prompt but fml I guess. I hate when writer's block decides to attack at times like these. ;_;
    Anyway, I'm not THAT stumped that I can't vote at least...

    Honorable mentions include Sasaki Kojiro (MY HONORARY 4TH PLACE I LOVE WHAT YOU DID HERE), Ullikummi (SAME THING I LOVE WHATEVER IS HAPPENING IN THIS SHEET. Royd you're amazing) and Nikola Tesla (great ideas behind a clumsy execution, I guess. But you're going places).


    1 PTS
    "Red Handed Jill"

    The formatting made it harder to get into the sheet, but even with that obstacle one simply can't dismiss the idea behind it. Bloody amazing, to say the least.


    2 PTS
    Captain Nemo

    I love shota Cap, but I also love (hi)storically-accurate Cap too. The concepts behind the sheet are immaculate, and if it wasn't for the artistry of the 1st place this would easily win.


    3 PTS
    Patroclus ("Memories of Achilles")


    I LOVE ANYONE WHO DARES TO MAKE SHEETS OF ONE OF MY FAVORITE HOMOSSEXUALS. I LOVE YOU. Just take the win here as well and stop being amazing, will ya. #ScribeSweep
    ——————
    WHITEFRENZY'S
    servants | masters
    —————

  20. #540
    祖 Ancestor
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    I see zero comments for my sheet. I am not asking much, but what did you all think? was it awful? Is it bare bones that you have nothing to comment on it? Or does it not fit the prompt? It's like I didn't post anything at all, with no one seems to notice it at least, that how I see it from my side and yes, I know that this is sounds so pretentious, and if it's gets on your nerves, I will just quickly drop the subject and move on

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