Feedback Thread - "Peanut Gallery" (Read OP)

[TQG Imaginatorious]

My first thing seeing your sheet is that it's way too informal for something that is supposed to be an official document. It's not supposed to be an interview so why the first-person pov?

[NINE-lives]

Watsonian: I have this whole storyline planned out where the person writing is doing a report on the magecraft division of DARPA and it's personnel. I'm probably going to bring back the ethiopian royal family mage for my submission for the mage contest.

doylist: I just can't write formal documents well and need to spice it up.

[Comun]

Don't worry too much about your style. "How the fuck do I begin to describe the mystic eye of oversight." is one the most memorable lines I've ever read in a sheet.

[NINE-lives]

Thank you comun.

[NINE-lives]

https://forums.nrvnqsr.com/showthrea...=1#post3279361

Okay i uploaded something for the bi monthly contest. Is this anything? Also i'm trying to experiment with collapse text next.

[ThreadNomad]

Nine, read the OP. Don't repeat my mistakes.

[TQG Imaginatorious]

Released a new servant recently and wants some feedback: https://forums.nrvnqsr.com/showthrea...=1#post3282133

[OnesFleetingGlory]

Hello, I'd like to request a feedback for my amateur fic. Pseudo-Singularity: Edo, Endless Duel of the Sword. It is my take of hypothetical scenario for FGO collab with FSR, following an alternate version of one of its endings. I'd say it's about one-third way through of the entire story. Admittedly, I'm inexperienced, so there could be OOC moments. So I want to improve my storytelling in order to be more confident in how it turns up. So if anyone is interested, is there anything I could improve? Things I should avoid in the future?
Thanks in advance.

https://forums.nrvnqsr.com/showthrea...l-of-the-Sword