Create-A-Servant Secret Santa Contest 2022 Edition

[NINE-lives]

I'm betting that nuclear made either pool 7 or pool 13. It fits his entire thing of short snappy sheets and his whole catholic thing for herman the recluse. I am also betting that pool 22 is wyvern for obvious reasons.

[Baron Magnus]

Ame no Minakanushi
NGL this was so close to good for me. It is good but it could've been more. The second half just... didn't ruin it but its a bit much? Like it kinda feels rushed. I get why though. Still good job nonetheless rampant AI is tough to write and this is a decent enough job.

Dyson Sphere
Well, well well. I'm happy to say this is the first servant to receive perfect marks in my notes. 20/20. Sure there are minor flaws here and there that I could nitpick but the whole is just so good. Congrats your being voted in. I'll literally throw any other considerations into honorable mention for being the first servant on the list to get that.

Heeren XVII
IT WAS SO CLOSE! THE SECOND SHEET TO NEARLY REACH IT! All it needed was some explanation of who they were and what sort of person they were! Sure the intro gave a taste but that's all!.
Still pretty sure this is a Kamera sheet. Its def his style.

Pool 11
Gonna lump these together real quick for a general critque. Author, please don't space like this. It's annoying. thanks.

Abel
Hmmm. Interesting idea. Quaint. execution. NPs a bit weird but whatever. Its fine enough.

KINAP
.... the hell's a Kinap?

Euroswydd
.... I literally have no idea who this is. Probably the best of the three. Spacing issues are still present though.

Moving on to the next set of sheets....

[BnEl15]

13 is Morg, 7 is... I'm guessing Spiff or Serra, still got their styles mixed up sometimes.

Anyways, that pool 17 was totally awesome, I wonder who wrote that one. Heck, they even used the same fc as the one I teased in Laplace Demon's sheet a long time ago, on top of the style being similar to my own. Whoever wrote him must really be a big fan of mine. Totally deserves my vote, hahaha

[NINE-lives]

7 is definitely serra given the style. Victoria is definitely whitefrenzy, no doubt there.

[BnEl15]

Based on some keywords being highlighted (like what happened with Sarashina), unless I missed something, I'm guessing Vicky is Pine.

Edit:
Oh wait, it's WF cosplaying Pine's style? Wow, not bad at all, queen.

[pinetree]

See WF? You still tricked some people lol

[Ismail2002]

I have a confession to make remember pool 19, I was the one who submitted that prompt

[BnEl15]

Tbf at first I also thought Frau Holle was WF, so I may not be the smartest inspector in the precinct.

[Morg van Destro]

Oh wait, it's WF cosplaying Pine's style? Wow, not bad at all, queen.

So I wasn't the only one. I looked at it and was like "This is White. It looks like Pine, but it's WF." Thought I was crazy.

[Spelror]

Ame no Minakanushi
NGL this was so close to good for me. It is good but it could've been more. The second half just... didn't ruin it but its a bit much? Like it kinda feels rushed. I get why though. Still good job nonetheless rampant AI is tough to write and this is a decent enough job.

I don't deny that it's rushed and furthermore, I wrote about half of it while being like piss drunk, so...
I've already called back the cast (Random please let me rent Moriya for a short while) and we're finishing up on how to end the story properly before I move on to the next one.

[Kamera]

I wish I could join on the guessing game too. I envy not being able to know everything by default.

[NINE-lives]

Let’s start working by process of eliminaton.

[Baron Magnus]

Sure.
I know the first is Draco-Scribe... and I know pool 22 is Wyvern. I'm fairly confident that Heeren XVII is Kamera.

[Morg van Destro]

Lotta contenders today. Took a bit to break them down, but my sass was also me making preliminary investigations. Helped the process along.

---

Honorable Mentions

Abel: Has an interesting interpretation on Abel being a LB king. A cycle that ends only when it wants to. Abel being a girl, which everyone seems to do as well. Not bad. Just doesn't strike me hard.

Inkarri: An interesting Servant from the place Nasu ignores with a Class that is completely underused in the Nasuverse.

Niya: A lovely lady taking you on a moonlit ride through the underworld on her corpse boat. An interesting Servant that has some strangely enticing imagery.

Hank Morgan: Didn't expect this one of all people to be a genderbend. Still, an unexpected and cool take on someone I REALLY WANTED TO DO! YOU GET NO VOTE!
Nice job.

Hatsheput: So, she was originally a Caster? It's leftover in one of her Skills.
Anyway, she's pretty good. I'm not totally sold on the Amun connection, and there are a lot of details I myself actually would've included whenever I thought about making her, but this is still great stuff.

Sima Qian: A haiku dedicated to this emperor.
The angst, gone away
Only history remains
Snow on Mt. Fuji

Roald Amundsen: A adventuring pusher of limits. Also, using a flag as a weapon? If I had a nickel for every time a Servant used a flag as a lance, I'd have two nickels, which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice.
Good job. I like his moxie.

Heeren XVII: I think this video sums up my feelings about them quite well.
The spice must flow. I love them.

Caleb: I guess it doesn't matter since my prompt wasn't completed, but he actually fits what I wanted for Simple Like a Sword. I love this boy.

Palaestra: Girl has issues, but so do most people. I just want a bro to work out with. That so wrong? I could probably learn wrestling at the same time.

1 Point

Bobby Fisher: I didn't expect a Player to make its way into my votes twice. Maybe it was Ayanokoji. Maybe it was just how much ego filled the sheet. I just really enjoyed reading it and what he could do. Nice.

2 Points

Victoria: Welcome back to the votes, White. You've been sticking in the mentions, but you finally hit that sweet spot for me. Let's all give little Vicky some happiness. Though, I still can't really figure out Kaiserdämmerung. Maybe if I run it through google translate... Ah. Now I see. But, shouldn't it be Kaiserindämmerung for feminimity, or am I still missing something?

3 Points

Yamato Takeru: I mean, he's absolutely crazy. He's got this obsession with his father that borders on incestuous, which isn't the most absurd thing in the story, and he can literally modify his body to better fit what he thinks he needs. Not to mention how Kusanagi can move on its own. Did I mention he's completely insane?
What? ...Oh yeah. This Takeru.
Not too different. Invisible Air knock-off is different enough to be interesting. Snake curse is cool and depressing. Gender gotta bend. An all around great Servant that isn't afraid to say "She has good intentions, but you should probably run away". I actually have a Servant a lot like her in the pipeline.

---

Now, to attempt the prediction game once more. Following my heart, which has always brought me close, I predict that the top three will be Bobby, Victoria, and Dyson. As for order, Dyson 2, Victoria 3, and Bobby takes the win. Now, let's see how rusty my prophetic abilities are.

[NINE-lives]

I just wonder which prompts were legendary or nuclear. Legendary did say that his method of anonymity was to copy some of his earlier sheets but i have found nothing resembling his earlier joseph smith alter.

[Axe]

Honorable Mentions

Roald Amundsen: Wonder whether he counts as a Servant from below the Equator? I'd say he's more of a servant from Antarctica, to be honest.

Shiki Tohno: Really don't know much about Tsukihime, but the idea of all of Roa's lives stuffed into a Stranger Class servant is such a cool idea. Also, his Noble Phatasm is amazing, though I have no idea what you mean by 'increasing entropy', but I am going to guess they share damage with him, and get healed in the same way he does? Or does this insta-kill the one who is infected, because his sheet says that the only reason he survived is because of Death Resistance and Oni Blood, and I doubt this kills them instantly because the reason he is attacking people regularly is because he doesn't want them to forget him.

Sinbad, Lady Liberty & The Rivals: Holy shit I love the twist that this isn't the 'actual' Sinbad, but rather Sinbad the Porter who got inspired by him, and his second NP about him passing down his NP to someone else as their own call to adventure is great. Lady Liberty's 'my guns!' line made me laugh, but I feel like the sheet was kinda short? I wanted to read more of it. Out of all three though, the Rivals were my favorite, even though their NP was just calling Sherlock for help, lol.

Yamato Takeru: Someone give this poor girl a hug. Her resisting Orochi's curse right until she dies, opting to whither away instead of becoming the monster her father sees her as...

1 Point

Heeren XVII: Does this mean I get to be a member of the Illuminati? Deducting some points for not having a relationships section though, I wanted to see how Lakshmi Bai would react to them being in Chaldea lmfao. The Stock Exchange skill was great too, and the idea of having multiple masters at once intrigues me. Also, makes perfect sense for the Stock Exchange skill to do that, you would want to reduce the 'risk' after all. ...also, does his NP basically turn magical energy into Saint Quarts? Gimme gimme gimme gimme! Why would you want to waste it to deal damage???

2 Points

The Yankee in King Arthur's Court: Where's Fou when you need him, someone needs to dropkick Merlin. Seriously though, what the actual fuck Merlin?

I really, really loved this sheet though, someone needs to give this girl a happy ending... Fuck, now I am imagining having to face her in a singularity where Goetia's Holy Grail actually turned her 'dreamland' into a real place though, that would break my heart.

3 Points

Bobby Fisher: Well, out of all the sheets, there was something about this one which drew me in. Maybe its because I have fond memories of playing chess with my grandfather (he was a sore loser too ) or maybe its just the goddamn ego of his, to be honest, I love when someone ends up making friends with the prickliest of individual. And the Bond CE... *chef's kiss*.

Bit confused about the Player Class as a whole, not going to lie, but the sheet was pretty fun. And did I mention the CE?

Huh, ngl I was kinda scared people weren't going to like my sheet, but it seems to be going over decently well imo
I kinda want to talk about my sheet, but then again, there's no point of it being secret santa if I do. Definitely going to try and make a redux version later on tho.

[Baron Magnus]

Niya [Updated]
I got this one wrong. A kinda forum member pointed out that I had missed some things on first reading and that I had missed a servant. So apologies. Aftera reread... I still have some issues but i've corrected a big mistake I made; that there is a history to the servant and its simply woven into it akin to a story. I have updated my notes and its actually shot up significantly. It will very likely get an honorable mention.

Herman the Recluse
The one I missed... and I like it. It works well enough and the NP is similar to something I've delved into though more restricted. Honestly my only issues with the sheet are restricted to nitpicks.

Pool 13
Now to contradict Pool 11 i'm going to have a praise for this pool. Excellent job. I can say that each one of these sheets graded excellently and you did it with three different formats. Admittedly one of them had personal bias play into it but still. Alternating formats and three sheets with excellent quality is definitely not something just anyone can accomplish.... Morg.

Sinbad
A wonderful rendition of the classic adventurer. I love it. Its almost perfect. My notes say that the problem is... introduction. huh. Wonder why. Its fine enough... whatever changing that. So Sinbad is similar to Dyson Sphere in that its achieved a perfect score. So it'll be part of my votes most likely.
Unless more than one other 20/20 shows up. Then... i dunno. need to think about that.

Lady Liberty
Wonderfully american and perfectly emblematic of Liberty. Good job on portraying us Americans in our best light. It too achieved 20/20 but that was because some choices were simply so perfect. For example I love that the intro is just the Team America theme song. And the faceclaim is quite literally exceptional. Honestly if the sheet flowed just a bit better it'd have actually broken my normal scoring convention. This sheet is that good to me. Anyways congrats on getting into the vote!.... yeah definitely getting in the vote.

Gregson and Lestrande
NGL this one just didn't grip me. The formatting is excellent and they're good servants. Just.. my attention slipped here. My notes say they're an excellent servant and I believe it but I do know my attention slipped here... so I'm going to guess its not your sheet quality but my attention span, which seems to be 5 servants long, hitting its limit. So Kudos.

[NINE-lives]

Pool 1: dracoscribe

Pool 4: whitefrenzy

Pool 5: Gl4re

Pool 6: vididii

Pool 7: Serra

Pool 8: Spelror

Pool 9: kamera

Pool 12: alexcoene

Pool 13: morg

Pool 14: delrey

Pool 17: bnel15

Pool 18: I will cut my arm off if this isn’t skull.

Pool 19: jishara

Pool 22: wyvern

Pool 24: nuclear probably.

Pool 25: sutaa.

That leaves pool 2, 3, 10, 11, 15, 21, 23 and 26 to Axe, Baron, DesReploid, FarewellToMrA, pinetree, Legendary and Spamming. I'd place pool 23 to spamming due to the second sheets format and pool 26 to Axe due to the new format. Pool 21 to frigix due to format and pool 10 due to general modernity and format as well. I'd also bet that pinetree did prompt 2 or 15 due to general content and style.

[Baron Magnus]

Nodens
The first servant to break my scale. Good job Delray. Superb. I refuse to let any other servant knock this one out of the running except maybe Dyson Sphere. I think I know why too... this one flows so, so well. It gripped my attention and kept it the whole way. Good job.

Shiki Tohna no not that one
Heh. I like this one. It's getting an honorable mention at least cause its lowkey a solid sheet that works really damn well. If not for LL and Nodens I might've even put it in for voting. However... well sometimes things don't work out.

Sima Qian
I like the NP. It's solid and I love it. Good job.

Actually... glanced through the rest of the entries and I'm gonna vote in a second. Just want to double check my notes and one sheet among the ones left to see if anything changes before I do. I'll do honorable mentions later.

1 Point!

Bobby Fischer
A very good sheet. Honestly it might be my mood but I needed a nice, simple sheet to dig into and enjoy. King of Games is a fitting title and I love the redistribution aspect of his NP. I think the one thing that holds him back from beating Dyson Sphere is the faceclaim. Its such a small thing and I dunno what other faceclaim could've worked but the faceclaim just doesn't work right. Sorry.
That said I'm still giving him a point. I wanted to put Lady Liberty here but I knew it was bias talking and I couldn't disrespect this sheet like that. It's simply got too much quality. So kudos on the well-earned point.

2 Points!

Dyson Sphere
A simply sublime wishgranter sheet. There were a few in this contest but this one, especially, lived up to the ideal. Not only that but its a futuristic servant done completely right and it even covers some fairly advanced theories in understandable ways. Sincerely sir good job. I also think the faceclaim fits supremely well. Givens me a bit of Dr. Ragnarok vibes fro Megaman Zero 4.
So yeah. Everything fits just right and neatly.

3 Points

Nodens
I've said a lot but I'll say it again. This sheet was beyond perfect. It flows excellently and is the best flowing sheet in the contest. Each section flows brilliantly into the next and is indistiguishable from one another. The skills and noble phantasm are not only understandable but perfectly fit the character and legend its based on. Even the personality, lacking its own section, was not docked points because you, author, wove it into the writing itself and let it explain itself.
Simply superb, sublime, and filled with talent. I can't do anything other than vote 3 points for the first sheet to break a personal scale I was using to help me evaluate sheets but if I may be so bold what I predict will be the only sheet to do so.
Subarashī

[BnEl15]

Honorable Mentions

Gregson & Lestrade
GAA references aside, I just love their dynamics. And that NP. Give me more of them.

Yamato Takeru
At this point, I'm absolutely convinced that the entire world is absolutely in on this. Is this some kind of twisted joke? For my prompt to be received with a freaking Y̴̪̒ǎ̴̘̀m̶̥̬̍a̴͒͜t̶̟̔̕o̶̲̳̒ ̸͖̀̀T̷̮̽ā̴͓͘k̶̜̬̃̃e̵͓̾ŕ̵̩͠u̸̱͛̅ of all people!? Is this your idea of a cruel prank, o' mysterious Santa I still cannot name!?

But real shit, I love her. I have a soft spot for those inhuman-beings-trying-hard-to-become-human types, and you wrote her conflict wonderfully. The only thing missing was... a conclusion to her arc, imo. A bond CE, another story snippet, or anything else that could really tie up her character progression in the end, like a nice whipped cream on top of an already delicious cupcake. I understand writing that conclusion doesn't always come easy tho, on top of the time constraints we have. It's still a nice present for me. Thanks, Santa!

Hank Morgan
Oho, this proto-isekai protag actually got me interested in her source material. I gave the wikipedia page a quick read-through, and I'm even more interested now. And the way you justified her story with our existing Nasuverse knowledge (even if it did amount to literally "It was all a dream") was a smooth move, and even adds another bittersweet layer to her character. Honestly she's veeeery close to my top 3, it was a real tough choice between her and the actual 3rd-placer, but I ultimately went with the latter.

1pt

Heeren XVII
Wow, Kamera really went for woke, huh? And how can I not vote for these guys? I mean, it's the freakin' VOC! The mustache-twirling evil organization described in my history books since elementary school! And the way you wrote them really made it seem like they're this ominous, untouchable force, befitting of one of the world's most powerful enterprises. Like many other Kamera sheets, they could really use some more fleshing out, but that's just a difference in our creator styles speaking, and the sheet itself is still good enough to earn a vote for me. Looking forward to the individual sheets, if you plan to make a series out of this.

2pts

Victoria, Princess Royal
I think I've received my quota of wholesomeness in this contest from this sheet alone. The theme of dreams and fairytales is practically a wellspring of feels, wholesomeness and angst alike, and this sheet is proof of that. Honestly, the way you wrote this sheet makes it feel... less of a sheet, and more of a long, overarching story with each Skill and NP contributing to her (their?) character. That's a compliment, by the way. And you even mentioned my ol' Munshi too? I'm honored.

3pts

Bobby Fischer
Y'know, I wasn't fully sold on the idea of Player-Class Servants the first time around. This sheet convinced me otherwise. I know he's basically a slightly more sophisticated equivalent of a toxic gamer, but I can't help it. I love this egotistic prick. Ayanokoji fc fits him well (egotistic anime edgelord for egotistic chess king? Who would've thought), and both NPs are just amazing. So there you have it.

As for my predictions... I'm betting Vicky and Fischer will make it to the top three, though I can't say for certain who'd take the last spot yet. I might be biased, but Heeren XVII has a pretty good chance. Hank Morgan and Yamato Takeru might also be something of a dark horse here, but who knows.