The Holy Schlock War Thread

[Ismail2002]

Because, like all of his interactions, they boil down to several forms. Huh, you are interesting or just mildly listening in with a confused look on his face at their problems? He is the Throne of Heroes version of a naive country bumpkin since his story pretty much has a textbook happy ending.

[WhiteFrenzy]

Oh so now Hera descends to ship us all?

I'm vouching for my couple. Iapyx x Therapy my favorite OTP!

[DelRey]

ah Therapy, the expensive mistress few can afford. And even if you could, she barely has time for you and meets with many others.

[BnEl15]

Between Gil's chains and Naram-Sin's bandages, they both serve a... function. Not a function I'd like to consider for myself, but a function nonetheless. Kinkshaming is not welcome in this thread.

[Vididii]

You can't tell me Gil and Kirei didn't get MAD freaky in that church

[Ismail2002]

Okay, no one is being horny in this war there are bloody kids here

[Vididii]

We can kill them first.

[DelRey]

...the kids or the servants?

[Morg van Destro]

Vidi, you forgot to add this war to the origin post

[Vididii]

Fuck, lemme fix that

- - - Updated - - -

Fixed! Thanks for the reminder.

[Morg van Destro]

It is my destiny to remind people of small things.

[DracoScribe]

"It is said that Love is War. Therefore, let love and passion bloom in this city, Alexandria, the Bride of the Mediterranean.
The perfect stage for a festive banquet, for the most worthy of souls to seize their shared destiny~"

True Love Discernment... Initiate! (progress... 0%)

I would like to say that Loki=Rod will be very annoyed at any and all attempts to pair him with anyone. "I am happily married, thank you very much."

But considering, if I'm understanding it correctly, Hera has True Love Discernment, she may (or may not) already know about Sigyn by looking at him.

Or would she ignore it? Idk. She kinda gives me the vibe she could ignore it and pair Loki=Rod off anyway (and maybe even to Vegas because "oh they both chaotic tricksters they'll be perfect!") just as much as she'd go "oh you're already taken. Ok next!", but that might just be me.

[Vididii]

Frankly, I think it would be cute if she saw that, and burned his command seal in order to summon Sigyn temporarily and renew their vowels- because there's NO WAY she's meddling with that high quality of a marriage.

[SimpleScribe]

Would Loki be up for being a Marriage/Relationship consultant instead? This information is really important to the write up I'm doing when I get home. Matter of fact, I need everyone's Servant's canonized response to Hera's match making. I know for sure Nodens' response will be: "NO." "But Lord Nodens, I am trying to help you find her-!" "Let me clarify, Queeny. FUCK NO. I don't need your help."

Otherwise, I'll just have to interpret their reactions, Word of Saint Paul-style. Worse comes to worst, Word of Dante.

Actually, disregard what I said. I can do it all on my own. Don't sweat about it!

[WhiteFrenzy]

This is the only possibility of some hilarious shenanigans in an otherwise apocalyptic war pls. Lughie will look at his team, at the two literal children they have, and will be just like "why."

[Vididii]

Starring Lancer, Rider, and Saber in:

[Ismail2002]

Gajah Merik has a weird relationship with weddings like the start of his story comes when the snake king kidnaps his brother and, along with the bride, for the snake to eat when the whole kingdom was preparing for their wedding.

[Kamera]

Get your spiciest marriage life gossips in before the final verdict

[Vididii]

Get your spiciest marriage life gossips in before the final verdict

Mark would rock a wedding dress

[RoydGolden]

Naram-Sin would definitely not approve being shipped by or with any deities. As for who he'd actually be compatible with, Kublai and Gilgamesh are possibilities as Bn and Random implied, and I can also see him relating to Hagen for his drive to overcome fate and save his doomed kingdom (similar to Naram's own wish).