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Thread: A question for the men of beast's lair

  1. #1
    pythagorean tsugumi's Avatar
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    A question for the men of beast's lair

    Hello. When I first moved back into using guy-dominated internet a couple of years ago there was something I noticed, which, frankly, I thought for months was just one big joke.

    It eventually began to sink in that these men were deadly serious. Today I saw something that has finally pushed me over the edge, and I'll just ask here, because you're infinitely less weird and more approachable than what's out there. The something in question:

    I've always told my apprentices that seemed to be [falling under the influence of instagram grindset hustlers] here's a better [way to live your life]:

    • Read the Iliad
    • pick a guy
    • be like him

    It always seemed to do some good better than whatever these fucks are peddling. One picked Diomedes as his spirit mentor and I noticed how much bolder he was on site. He was a good kid and I was very proud of him.
    Is basing your personality off of someone else normal for men? I keep seeing guys volunteering this information. I asked my dad about it, and he said that wasn't the case for himself, but to be honest this doesn't mean anything because he is a
    mountain person
    weird, special man
    . If anything, maybe this suggests that copying someone else is the standard state of affairs.

    So please, enlighten me. Even send me DMs if you don't want to answer in public. I just need to know once and for all what the truth of this matter is. Maybe I've just been in the presence of weirdos and this is just another aspect of their weirdness. Or maybe it's the one normal thing about them.
    IYKYK

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    The Long-Forgotten Sight Rafflesiac's Avatar
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    Can't say I ever thought about it much as a kid. There were non-familiar figures I admired (who later turned out to be hypocritical shitholes but that's an entirely different matter) but generally I guess a combination of following family and school guidelines and copying stuff from books and TV (much of which I was advised against). I've never viewed an influencer in my life.

    Buying a Drive jacket seems like trying to remold yourself into a Victoria's Secret model, but for dudes. The media getting deep into someone's head. If nothing else, downloading a personality from Ryan Gosling is a reasonably common meme.
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  3. #3
    アルテミット・ソット Ultimate Thot Five_X's Avatar
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    If someone is truly influential on you, you unconsciously imitate them - you don't make a definitive choice to act like them. Even if you pick and choose a "figure" to be your role model, aren't you just engaging in a performance based on your interpretation of them, and not what they may be to another person?
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  4. #4
    While imitation is one of the earliest mechanisms for development in many areas, it's hardly the only mechanism for self realization in later stages of life. You'll undoubdtedly copy certain behaviors and habits from others, whether that's because they are influentual to you or because they are desirable traits. That said, in general you'll take inspiration from all kinds of avenues in life, like said before with school, friends, media, family, etcetera. That said, you'll fairly naturally develop your own personality as you experience more and more of life, whether those experiences are good or bad.

    It's extremely rare to only use your interpretation of a singular person, but I'm sure there are people like that too. It's probably more common that certain rolemodels/tropes are easily identifiable for a lot of people, or people project the desirable traits of others onto how they'd wish to be. The numbed and lonesome brooding hero archetype that Ryan Gosling portrays well is (if I had to guess) memed on because a lot of the current generation feels something in common with such a figure. But as a different example, people idealize Henry Cavill (I think anyway) for being seen in a positive light that's true to his own love for 'nerdy' cultures. Being true to himself is what elevates him, though of course with celebrities it's always important to remember these are portrayals made by the media, so you shouldn't trust them so wholeheartedly.

    Well and both of these dudes are handsome, always helpful.

    Perhaps rather unkindly, but I suspect that certain internet cultures that do engage in modelling themselves to one particular individual likely do so because of a lack of life experience and/or personality, so they feel the need to change themselves in such a manner that they feel more successful and accepted. Very speculative though, probably shouldn't be posting it but fuck it, this topic is fairly interesting.

    All that said, insta-grindset-sigma-balls dudes should never be taken seriously.

  5. #5
    鬼 Ogre-like You's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tsugumi View Post
    Hello. When I first moved back into using guy-dominated internet a couple of years ago there was something I noticed, which, frankly, I thought for months was just one big joke.

    It eventually began to sink in that these men were deadly serious. Today I saw something that has finally pushed me over the edge, and I'll just ask here, because you're infinitely less weird and more approachable than what's out there. The something in question:



    Is basing your personality off of someone else normal for men? I keep seeing guys volunteering this information. I asked my dad about it, and he said that wasn't the case for himself, but to be honest this doesn't mean anything because he is a
    mountain person
    weird, special man
    . If anything, maybe this suggests that copying someone else is the standard state of affairs.

    So please, enlighten me. Even send me DMs if you don't want to answer in public. I just need to know once and for all what the truth of this matter is. Maybe I've just been in the presence of weirdos and this is just another aspect of their weirdness. Or maybe it's the one normal thing about them.
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mimetic_theory
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  6. #6
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six pinetree's Avatar
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    I've seen some men my age trying to emulate other men entirely. Mostly because we're nerds, probably. They spent their teenage years playing games or talking about anime with the same static group of friends and now that they're in their 20s they realize they have no real connections outside their incredibly small circle and feel the need to drastically change themselves. Same happened to me honestly, but while I found a job I loved and expanded my social circle from there, they're in jobs that only incentivise their lifestyle by keeping them working from home even during weekends (like programming and translation).

    So in that situation 2 or 3 guys I knew have turned to those grindset sigma coaches who preach stuff on social media. They just start acting like those guys and parroting sentences word-for-word from their podcasts or whatever. It's funny that your example paits picking a random guy in the Illiad as better when it's pretty much what people do with male influencers anyway.

    That's an extemely specific situation though and I find it weird that you'd encounter it so often that you'd question how normal it is.

  7. #7
    Gläubig müssen die nicht sein, daran glauben müssen sie I3uster's Avatar
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    we are all emulating someone in this bitch of a society
    [04:55] Lianru: i3uster is actuallly quite cute

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    Drunk Anime Is The True Path. Mattias's Avatar
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    Favoutie character is Odyseuss:

    -Never travelled for more than a week
    -No wife
    -No loyal underlings
    -Can't resist the siren call of gacha
    -Never blinded someone when caught in the middle of robbing them
    -Never hid inside a horse
    -Not a king

    Either this is bs or I'm doing it all wrong.
    Binged All Of Gundam In 4 Years, 1 Week and All I Got Was This Stupid Mask


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    U-Olga Marie voter TomPen94's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mattias View Post
    Favoutie character is Odyseuss:

    -Never travelled for more than a week
    -No wife
    -No loyal underlings
    -Can't resist the siren call of gacha
    -Never blinded someone when caught in the middle of robbing them
    -Never hid inside a horse
    -Not a king

    Either this is bs or I'm doing it all wrong.
    I think the idea is to actively try to be like the character.

    Get started and go rob someone, tell us how it went afterwards.
    burn your dread you coward

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    Nikiri's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tsugumi View Post
    Is basing your personality off of someone else normal for men?
    never heard of that

    but i'm weird

    - - - Updated - - -

    or rather, I was never aware of that
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    Well, fine. Nikiri has this thing called 「我が往くは爆乳の彼方・・・!」
    Quote Originally Posted by Nikiri View Post
    GundamFSN. Thank you.

    Just before rolling I said 「我が往くは爆乳の彼方・・・!」

    First ticket. Da Vinci-chan NP2.

  11. #11
    死徒(下級)Lesser Dead Apostle Nanashi(kari)'s Avatar
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    OP has such a social media post vibe.
    Spoiler:

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    Impressive argument.

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    邪魔 Spanner Random's Avatar
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    You have to judge the good qualities and the bad qualities of anyone you imitate for yourself. In that regard, role models are just catalysts to drawing out the person you wanted to be the whole time.

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    改竄者 Falsifier Petrikow's Avatar
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    Any answer I might give will result in people mocking me.

  14. #14
    The Long-Forgotten Sight Rafflesiac's Avatar
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    Which anime character was it, be honest now.
    Quote Originally Posted by Arashi_Leonhart View Post
    canon finish apo vol 3

  15. #15
    Come now Petri, we'll move on in like three posts, it'll be okay

  16. #16
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    I feel like the advice mentioned in OP could go badly wrong if the Iliad character you took inspiration from was the likes of Agamemnon or Ajax the Lesser...

  17. #17
    pythagorean tsugumi's Avatar
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    First of all, thank you so much for these answers. It has been illuminating and relieving.

    Quote Originally Posted by pinetree View Post
    I've seen some men my age trying to emulate other men entirely. Mostly because we're nerds, probably. They spent their teenage years playing games or talking about anime with the same static group of friends and now that they're in their 20s they realize they have no real connections outside their incredibly small circle and feel the need to drastically change themselves. Same happened to me honestly, but while I found a job I loved and expanded my social circle from there, they're in jobs that only incentivise their lifestyle by keeping them working from home even during weekends (like programming and translation).

    So in that situation 2 or 3 guys I knew have turned to those grindset sigma coaches who preach stuff on social media. They just start acting like those guys and parroting sentences word-for-word from their podcasts or whatever. It's funny that your example paits picking a random guy in the Illiad as better when it's pretty much what people do with male influencers anyway.
    Yes, yes, this is exactly what I'm talking about. Not picking up elements of people you like and admire and adding them to yourself, with your own twist, but straight up "I'm going to be X/I became X" and it's just a wholescale lifting of another person's self-presentation.

    Quote Originally Posted by pinetree View Post
    That's an extemely specific situation though and I find it weird that you'd encounter it so often that you'd question how normal it is.
    There is indeed a whole cultural milieu on specific parts of the internet where this is normal. It's not why I left, but it did kind of add to the unintended ambience of "men are a bit scary and alien" that I'm trying to forget about.

    Quote Originally Posted by Nanashi(kari) View Post
    OP has such a social media post vibe.
    I'd like to think that's good/neutral, but it's probably bad.

    Quote Originally Posted by Petrikow View Post
    Any answer I might give will result in people mocking me.
    I will not mock you.
    IYKYK

  18. #18
    後継者 Successor BladeOfEden's Avatar
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    …Is it weird if I’m a guy but find myself relating more to female characters than male ones?

  19. #19
    That depends entirely on which female characters my little poster

  20. #20
    pythagorean tsugumi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BladeOfEden View Post
    …Is it weird if I’m a guy but find myself relating more to female characters than male ones?
    I think I've conciously related to only two characters, so I'm the wrong person to answer this.
    IYKYK

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