Create-A-Servant 3

[TheTruthWhale]

The contest started June 1st. You have plenty of time.

Make sure you submit her in the contest thread, rather than this one, though.

[GOJIRA98]

Noted!

[Lambda-Nu]

better everyone

It’s... I am going to be very blunt here. It’s still subpar. It is barely complete and looks more like you came up with a concept and tried to build on it, but then you ran out of ideas and crapped out the half-formed sheet anyway.

[Perry Ellis.]

Assassin of the Inquisition

Faceclaim

Class: Assassin (Caster)
Alignment: Lawful / Evil

Info:

True Name: Tomas De Torquemada
Likes: Queen Isabella, the church, wine
Dislikes: heretics, blasphemers, mages
Height: 6’1
Weight: 225 lbs
Origin: History
Region: Spain
Catalyst: Sanbenito from the inquisition times
Talents: orator, torture, hand to hand combat
Armament: Black Keys
Natural Enemy: Mages

Stats and Deck

STR: C
END: B
AGI: D
MAG: C
LCK: A


Arts - Buster - Buster - Quick - Quick

Class and Personal Skills

Class Skills


Presence Concealment Flase (C): The capacity for a servant to hide their presence through magic, magical items or the light skill from both other servants and masters. The addition of “False” signifies the servants lack of this ability despite the container the heroic spirit was summoned in. This skill is intrinsic to the Assassin Class


While in life Assassin was not known for their ability to hide their presence, but rather the movement that started a grand purge against not only other religious figures and nations but also mages themselves. Due to this Assassin lacks this ability and is instead given a boost to his personal skill “Grand Inquisitor”


Personal Skills


Grand Inquisitor (EX): An unique skill intrinsic to Assassin due to his legend, garnering the name of his position of authority during his life. This skill acts as a combination of The skills Incitement and Protection of Faith the same rank. At this rank, Assassin is given a pseudo Magic Resistance skill with the rank of (A), giving Assassin the ability to ward off high levels of thaumaturgy and greater rituals.


The title of the position Assassin held in life. His sole purpose once given this title was to proclaim the word of God and the conversion of those not of the Christian faith. During his reign as the Grand Inquisitor, Assassin would lead the church into a period of war against the mage association and those of other faiths. This war was so famous it became known as the Spanish Inquisition. During this period, thousands of mages, inquisitors, and civilians alike were slaughtered not only to to both sides efforts but the hysteria the church created in order to public ally fight magecraft. In this effort, Assassin opted to create the sect of inquisitors in order to form a branch of the church that would be ready to fight on par with a mage.


Torture Technique (B): A skill given to Servants in recognition for their prowess in the use of torture techniques, especially when involving the use of tools. At this rank a Assassin is able to compel information from another Servant with a MP rank of C+ or lower with ease, Servant’s with a higher rank require the use of a Noble Phantasm or another skill.


While not known for performing any of the famous “Witch Trial” himself, Assassin’s legacy of creating the inquisition will forever tie his name with the horrors those caught by his inquisitors. Those caught would be subjected to numerous “tests” in order to prove their guilt, ranging from purposeful drowning, to burning at the stake. Ultimately, these trails were not put on in order to prove the innocence of those accused but rather they were used as a last measure to prove the guilt of the accused .




Master of the Cleansing Flame (A+): a variant of the Mana Burst skill of the same rank. This skill is given to a Servant in recognition of their ability to control or create certain elements through mana.


Although Assassin was a staunch opponent of “heretical” practices such as magecraft, as a Servant, he was gifted with a pseudo Mana Burst skill due to the most famous legend attached to his legacy. In this legend, Caster oversaw the burning of over 100 mages, many dispute the exact date but some argue that this day is the origin of Friday the 13th. Now through this skill, Assassin is able to set ablaze the black keys he wields. Normally assassin would think this ability is heretical itself but instead he see it as the same fire as the one Moses encountered burning a bush, a holy flame that does not burn the righteous but only the wicked and blasphemous.

Noble Phantasms

“May they keep the fire a ablaze evermore! May it continually burn and never dim in the Lord’s name! Inquisición de Torquemada!”
The burning glory of the righteous
Anti-Thaumaturgy Noble Phantasm (B+)
Targets: 1-100
“Just as the bush did not burn, so will those free of sin”. this noble phantasm is the sublimation of not only Assassin’s legend but also the act of cleansing sin through means of fire. Similar to the way Vlad’s kazikli beyacts, this NP allows Assassin to generate and control flaming spikes. These spikes are considered the concept of “atoning for ones sins” as deemed by Assassin, meaning those of different faiths or mythology different then that of Christianity or those with strong ties to magecraft will be effected more by the NP than those who are related. While summoned to either Rome itself or Spain, this NP will work in the same function as kazikli bey during Fate/Apocrypha while Vlad was in Romania, however when summoned outside of Rome or Spain, this NP will need the set up of Assassin’s Torture Technique skill in order to discern the opposing Servant’s sins.

Personality

Assassin was known for being a man as evil as he was cruel. From the start of his post, Assassin oversaw trial after trial condemning man, woman and child to death by subjecting them to ruthless tests. At one point Assassin was overheard suggesting to Queen Isabella to give mages and Jews 3 options, baptism, exile, or death, hinting at doing completely away with the trials.


As the founder of the inquisitors, Assassin fights with the same style as inquisitors such as kotomine employing both hand to hand combat methods and mastery over “Black Keys”. While the style maybe similar the way in which Assassin fights could possibly be seen as more crude due to his primary upbringing being one of education and monasticism.


While Assassin was the religious advisor to the queen of Spain, he is not one that demands opulence outside of the church. Drawing on passages of Jesus’s time in the desert, Assassin knows there are times when one must be humble and times when “to bask in the Lord’s light”.


Assassin should be noted as a bad summon for any mage in a grail war. As his hate for mages is greatest, Assassin would likely attempt to kill his master at the get off. Further more, even the church view his summoning as bad luck due to his harsh methods and how he might view modern day church views. While not known for being a chaotic individual, the church would rather not take a chance on what he might do during a grail war.

[TheTruthWhale]

Did you draw that, Ellis? Because that's cool as hell. Interesting use of the False tag. A pretty solid anti-mage. I'd be careful directly referencing canon NPs when describing your own, since I had to look stuff up to just to understand. I'm not sure why Grand Inquisitor is EX instead of A+. It doesn't seem super powerful, and it doesn't break the rules of normal skills. If you keep it at EX, you should probably establish what Incitement and Protection of the Faith do at EX rank for him.

That aside, I like your vision and he's decently executed.

[Perry Ellis.]

Did you draw that, Ellis? Because that's cool as hell. Interesting use of the False tag. A pretty solid anti-mage. I'd be careful directly referencing canon NPs when describing your own, since I had to look stuff up to just to understand. I'm not sure why Grand Inquisitor is EX instead of A+. It doesn't seem super powerful, and it doesn't break the rules of normal skills. If you keep it at EX, you should probably establish what Incitement and Protection of the Faith do at EX rank for him.

That aside, I like your vision and he's decently executed.

thanks for the review and yep! Drew him up with the original intention of submitting him for the contest, but later thought that he didn’t quite fit the prompt and that I could come up with something better. This being my first time tryin got draw a servant, I appreciate your comment! It was hard thinking how to turn him into an anime character at first but once I started going it was easier than I thought it was going to be.

I get what you mean by the NP comment, at that point I was just trying to finish up and post it but ya, going into more detail on the description of the NP would have been better

as for Grand Inquisitor, what suggestions would you have to help “push it over the edge”?

[TheTruthWhale]

Not entirely sure. The only major thing you really didn't touch on from the Inquisition is the branding of heretics so they can be identified later and punished if they commit heresy a second time. Maybe something like my Mary Pearcey's "marking" ability, where you can mark enemies you Interrogate, and can automatically identify them, regardless of any skill or magecraft that would normally conceal or disguise them.

[Wyvern]

Lord of the Spear

"The earth is disturbed... the gods are angry... Araci, if you can hear me, let know that you are alright. I fear the worse has befallen you, separated as we are by the Children of Kerana. Please, send me a sign, any sign, that you are still out there. I will come find you. I will save you. Call me, and I will come running."

True Name	Allignment	Class	Alternative Classes
Jaguarê	Lawful Good	Lancer	Archer / Rider

Height	1.78m
Weight	80kg
Region	Brazil
Source	Ubirajara
Likes	Hunting
Dislikes	Jandira, his Ex.

Parameters
STR	END	AGI	MAG	LCK	NP
B	B	C	C	B	B+

Background

The greatest warrior of the Araguaia Tribe, a man of unwavering joy who was bored of everyday life and wished for challenges and adventure, delving deep into the mystery of the land as he sought something to prove himself against. This wanderlust is what eventually lead to his meeting Araci, a demigoddess from a different tribe, daughter of the great archer Itaquê and the goddess of the moon, Jaci. She was an unearthly beauty whose visage struck Jaguarê senseless, the great warrior unable to do anything but fumble in her presence. This first meeting would leave a mark on both. Jaguarê, who fell in love and considered himself unworthy. And Araci, who found joy in the company of the genuinely friendly warrior. Though they would not meet again, the warrior sought to prove himself as someone who could win Araci’s love, seeking challenges not for enjoyment but as proof of his worthiness. Searching for a deed which would be so great that it would wipe away that shameful (in his opinion) first meeting. This event eventually lead to his contest of strength against a mighty warrior over a priceless spear that the two wished for. Unbeknownst to him, the man he now quarreled with was none other than Araci’s brother, Pojucã the ‘Man Slayer’. A warrior cursed by his own name to always kill when challenged. Their battle shook the ground, echoing through rivers and the wind as the two mighty warriors contested each other’s strength. Only for Jaguarê to eventually overcome and vanquish his foe. Earning himself the Spear and Title ‘Ubirajara’, who are both one and the same. The Lord of the Spear. With this great achievement and a captive Pojucã in tow, Jaguarê traveled to Araci’s home, where a contest was being held for her hand, which he undertook under the fake name of ‘Jurandir’. Though he would eventually succeed and win Araci’s hand, he would also get in trouble with the chieftain, as he’d defeated and enslaved the man’s son and strongest warrior, causing war to be declared between Jaguarê’s and Araci’s tribes. The situation becoming even more desperate as a third tribe took the opportunity to join the fight, attacking and blinding Araci’s father. In a bid to save her tribe, Jaguarê took part in a new contest, this one to decide who would become the new leader after Itaquê was blinded. The challenge being simple. Whoever manages to pull the string of the chieftain's bow, would become the new leader of the tribe. Something not even Pojucã, the man’s son, could do. Instead it was Jaguarê who succeeded, becoming the chieftain of two tribes and uniting them as a single whole. The Ubirajara Tribe.

Personality

A musclehead who is hopelessly in love. Jaguarê knew only the joy of battle and the hunt before his fateful meeting with the demigoddess Araci, whose beauty enchanted him and ignited within him the need to prove himself. Though his efforts can be crude, he measures none as he tries to achieve feats in honor of his love. Hunting down monsters, adventuring deep into the dangerous forests and deep caverns, hollowed bones of the earth. Wishing to find something which to present Araci with. Naive, or perhaps pure of heart, he does not notice that his feelings had long since reached his beloved, who patiently waits while watching his adventures with exasperated fondness. Believing himself not yet worthy of her love, he continously throws himself against challenges. Unlike his kin, who see those from foreign lands as untrustworthy, Jaguarê feels a strange kinship towards them. As one who was described as a ‘purehearted savage’, it was only natural that his interactions with these visitors would give some of them the impression that all who dwelled in his homeland were as bereft of common sense as this hopeless romantic. A heroic archetype who causes himself more trouble than anything else.

Class Skills
Magic Resistance	D+	Cancels Single-Action spells, possessing the same potency of an amulet that rejects magical energy. Increases when Lancer is facing an enemy with the same weapon of choice. Further increases if his enemy has Divinity.

Personal Skills
Disguise	B	The ability to hide one’s own identity, assuming a temporary disguise meant to trick others. Jaguarê has adopted a fake identity when taking part of the contest for the hand of Araci, who belonged to another tribe.
Lord of the Spear	A	Jaguarê’s unique skill. As one acknowledged as the ‘Lord of the Spear’, he possesses an advantage against enemies who use them. Able to match and overwhelm them regardless of how much stronger they are or how much more skill they have. So long as it is a contest of ‘Spearmanship’, Jaguarê will win.
Wild Heart	B	The inherent quality of a hero possessed of a ‘pure heart’. It guards against mental attacks while inspiring trust and friendliness towards oneself. It does not have the leadership qualities of Charisma, instead it could be better described as a protagonist’s ‘Power of Friendship’.
Affections of the Goddess	C	One who was loved by a maiden bearing the name of the Morning, her earthen reflection whose love mirrors that of the Lady of the Aurora who has yet to abandon the mortal coil. That is his love, Araci.

Noble Phantasms
Ubirajara: Peerless Spear of the Nameless God	Anti-Unit	B+
A weapon of an ancient age. Made from the bones of a strange beast by a now forgotten god. Laid to rest when its user died fighting in the great cataclysm which heralded the twilight of the Age of Gods. It was left behind and forgotten, its power ebbing and waning as decades became centuries, and centuries millennia. Until the day where two men would contest ownership of the unveiled treasure. Two warriors from enemy tribes, one who loved the other’s kin. They dueled over the priceless artifact, unaware of its true origins and importance. To them it was nothing but an exemplary spear carved from the purest ivory, adorned with the feathers of something much too large for the birds which dwelled in their homeland. The spear still carries the memory of the time of its creation. A time where humanity had yet to take its first steps and gods ruled over mighty beasts. It was created from the bones of one such beast to be of use against other gods, carrying within it a ‘anti-divinity’ trait that becomes more potent the higher the ‘divinity’ of the target. Although limited by its current user, it can reach the B-Rank as a result of its anti divinity properties against the correct opponent.

[NittyGritty]

Assassin of the Inquisition

Faceclaim

Class: Assassin (Caster)
Alignment: Lawful / Evil

Info:

True Name: Tomas De Torquemada
Likes: Queen Isabella, the church, wine
Dislikes: heretics, blasphemers, mages
Height: 6’1
Weight: 225 lbs
Origin: History
Region: Spain
Catalyst: Sanbenito from the inquisition times
Talents: orator, torture, hand to hand combat
Armament: Black Keys
Natural Enemy: Mages

Stats and Deck

STR: C
END: B
AGI: D
MAG: C
LCK: A


Arts - Buster - Buster - Quick - Quick

Class and Personal Skills

Class Skills


Presence Concealment Flase (C): The capacity for a servant to hide their presence through magic, magical items or the light skill from both other servants and masters. The addition of “False” signifies the servants lack of this ability despite the container the heroic spirit was summoned in. This skill is intrinsic to the Assassin Class


While in life Assassin was not known for their ability to hide their presence, but rather the movement that started a grand purge against not only other religious figures and nations but also mages themselves. Due to this Assassin lacks this ability and is instead given a boost to his personal skill “Grand Inquisitor”


Personal Skills


Grand Inquisitor (EX): An unique skill intrinsic to Assassin due to his legend, garnering the name of his position of authority during his life. This skill acts as a combination of The skills Incitement and Protection of Faith the same rank. At this rank, Assassin is given a pseudo Magic Resistance skill with the rank of (A), giving Assassin the ability to ward off high levels of thaumaturgy and greater rituals.


The title of the position Assassin held in life. His sole purpose once given this title was to proclaim the word of God and the conversion of those not of the Christian faith. During his reign as the Grand Inquisitor, Assassin would lead the church into a period of war against the mage association and those of other faiths. This war was so famous it became known as the Spanish Inquisition. During this period, thousands of mages, inquisitors, and civilians alike were slaughtered not only to to both sides efforts but the hysteria the church created in order to public ally fight magecraft. In this effort, Assassin opted to create the sect of inquisitors in order to form a branch of the church that would be ready to fight on par with a mage.


Torture Technique (B): A skill given to Servants in recognition for their prowess in the use of torture techniques, especially when involving the use of tools. At this rank a Assassin is able to compel information from another Servant with a MP rank of C+ or lower with ease, Servant’s with a higher rank require the use of a Noble Phantasm or another skill.


While not known for performing any of the famous “Witch Trial” himself, Assassin’s legacy of creating the inquisition will forever tie his name with the horrors those caught by his inquisitors. Those caught would be subjected to numerous “tests” in order to prove their guilt, ranging from purposeful drowning, to burning at the stake. Ultimately, these trails were not put on in order to prove the innocence of those accused but rather they were used as a last measure to prove the guilt of the accused .




Master of the Cleansing Flame (A+): a variant of the Mana Burst skill of the same rank. This skill is given to a Servant in recognition of their ability to control or create certain elements through mana.


Although Assassin was a staunch opponent of “heretical” practices such as magecraft, as a Servant, he was gifted with a pseudo Mana Burst skill due to the most famous legend attached to his legacy. In this legend, Caster oversaw the burning of over 100 mages, many dispute the exact date but some argue that this day is the origin of Friday the 13th. Now through this skill, Assassin is able to set ablaze the black keys he wields. Normally assassin would think this ability is heretical itself but instead he see it as the same fire as the one Moses encountered burning a bush, a holy flame that does not burn the righteous but only the wicked and blasphemous.

Noble Phantasms

“May they keep the fire a ablaze evermore! May it continually burn and never dim in the Lord’s name! Inquisición de Torquemada!”
The burning glory of the righteous
Anti-Thaumaturgy Noble Phantasm (B+)
Targets: 1-100
“Just as the bush did not burn, so will those free of sin”. this noble phantasm is the sublimation of not only Assassin’s legend but also the act of cleansing sin through means of fire. Similar to the way Vlad’s kazikli beyacts, this NP allows Assassin to generate and control flaming spikes. These spikes are considered the concept of “atoning for ones sins” as deemed by Assassin, meaning those of different faiths or mythology different then that of Christianity or those with strong ties to magecraft will be effected more by the NP than those who are related. While summoned to either Rome itself or Spain, this NP will work in the same function as kazikli bey during Fate/Apocrypha while Vlad was in Romania, however when summoned outside of Rome or Spain, this NP will need the set up of Assassin’s Torture Technique skill in order to discern the opposing Servant’s sins.

Personality

Assassin was known for being a man as evil as he was cruel. From the start of his post, Assassin oversaw trial after trial condemning man, woman and child to death by subjecting them to ruthless tests. At one point Assassin was overheard suggesting to Queen Isabella to give mages and Jews 3 options, baptism, exile, or death, hinting at doing completely away with the trials.


As the founder of the inquisitors, Assassin fights with the same style as inquisitors such as kotomine employing both hand to hand combat methods and mastery over “Black Keys”. While the style maybe similar the way in which Assassin fights could possibly be seen as more crude due to his primary upbringing being one of education and monasticism.


While Assassin was the religious advisor to the queen of Spain, he is not one that demands opulence outside of the church. Drawing on passages of Jesus’s time in the desert, Assassin knows there are times when one must be humble and times when “to bask in the Lord’s light”.


Assassin should be noted as a bad summon for any mage in a grail war. As his hate for mages is greatest, Assassin would likely attempt to kill his master at the get off. Further more, even the church view his summoning as bad luck due to his harsh methods and how he might view modern day church views. While not known for being a chaotic individual, the church would rather not take a chance on what he might do during a grail war.

haha insert funny monty python reference here

good job on this one. nice seeing an artist as well.

ill be watching your career with great interest.

[Master_Therion]

@Wyvern

As always simple and to the point, while also being interesting. Cant wait to see how many more Brazilian servants you will make.

[The Fair Tyrant]

Is it just me, or have there been a lot of South American Servants with weapons made from the bones of AOG-era beasts?

[Wyvern]

Is it just me, or have there been a lot of South American Servants with weapons made from the bones of AOG-era beasts?

It's a thematic choice. There have been many dinos that actually have names relating to the characters I created.

Ubirajara being one of them. And Kianda from my Aqualtune sheet. There is also the Ganga Zumba sheet. Which was also named after a god and a location connected conceptually to the character.

Also, dinosaurs are cool so let me have my fun~

[Perry Ellis.]

Not entirely sure. The only major thing you really didn't touch on from the Inquisition is the branding of heretics so they can be identified later and punished if they commit heresy a second time. Maybe something like my Mary Pearcey's "marking" ability, where you can mark enemies you Interrogate, and can automatically identify them, regardless of any skill or magecraft that would normally conceal or disguise them.

interesting suggestion, thanks!

haha insert funny monty python reference here

good job on this one. nice seeing an artist as well.

ill be watching your career with great interest.

thanks!


Jaguare: nice sheet, while I am mot familiar with Brazilian lore myself, the way you were able to capture who the servant was in the skills based on your background. I liked the direction you went with the lord of the spear skill having Jaguare basically be an anti-lancer lancer. One area I would have liked for you to expand on imo would be the description of how the noble phantasm acts once used in addition to the lore you added about it. Overall love the sheet, Great job!

[Areop-Enap]

My apologies of asking this but do you think of my latest version of rider of contracts

[doncosaco]

My apologies of asking this but do you think of my latest version of rider of contracts

Writing-wise, it is a bit difficult to read with some of the run-on sentences. I can kind of see the vision you have, but I think everything needs to be harmonized together more. I think lore and personality need to be fleshed out more and then show why the skills and NPs reflect parts of the personality. One possibly dumb question I have is why is he considered as the Rider class? Also, regarding the second ability of the Leviathan NP, I'm guessing the exchange of skills and free will is made through a voluntary contract? The recipient is agreeing to become Rider's student (underling)?

Now, you must give your opinion of my Augustus sheet in the contest thread

[Lambda-Nu]

My apologies of asking this but do you think of my latest version of rider of contracts

...You know what, I’m done caring. Each version barely improves upon the last.

[Dragolord09]

My apologies of asking this but do you think of my latest version of rider of contracts

Honestly, even if you leave out the facts that A: It does need stats to be a proper sheet and B: It needs a grammar check very badly, it still reads like its a half-way done WIP sheet rather than a fully completed one. I can kinda of see the idea behind this sheet but the messiness of the format makes it very hard to understand it.

[Kabalisto Koga]

It's a thematic choice. There have been many dinos that actually have names relating to the characters I created.

Ubirajara being one of them. And Kianda from my Aqualtune sheet. There is also the Ganga Zumba sheet. Which was also named after a god and a location connected conceptually to the character.

Also, dinosaurs are cool so let me have my fun~

I think you Lancer is quite well done and yes Dinosaurs or other Antique Beasts are cool like i did a Giant Sea Cow as Steller mount and as the Primary of Nefrosobek a Spinosaur . so i understand you Tomo yo (my friend) i would be curious About his Noblephantasm in his other classess ? and what does he and Iara think of my Shamaness Girl i am curious ?

[Wyvern]

I think you Lancer is quite well done and yes Dinosaurs or other Antique Beasts are cool like i did a Giant Sea Cow as Steller mount and as the Primary of Nefrosobek a Spinosaur . ao i understand you Tomo you (my friend) i would be curious About his Noblephantasm in his other classess ? and what does he and Iara think of my Shamaness Girl i am curious ?

Ironically, the Rider version of Jaguarê would also wield his spear, but instead of possessing anti-divinity properties, he would be able to use that Spear to summon the ancient creature whose bones and feathers were used to make it.

As an archer, Jaguarê would have two bows. One belonging to his own tribe, connected to his mantle and chieftain, and a second bow which he obtained in the contest to decine the next chieftain of Araci's tribe. Thus, his uniting the two bows is considered an act of uniting two tribes into one.

As for his attitude towards the spiritual and the divine... he actually doesn't think much about them.

Rather, he knows to show respect towards Shamans and Spirits, but he is completely lacking in the ability to communicate with them. Being a straightforward protagonist archetype, he would try to make friends with these individuals and entities because he is not very nuanced when it comes to relationships. If you aren't a friend or a foe, he won't really bother you either way.

[GOJIRA98]

My apologies of asking this but do you think of my latest version of rider of contracts

It’s pretty clear that English isn’t your first language. Clearly you have ideas, and I think you’d do well to just write the sheet in whatever your fluent language is, make sure that’s whole and complete, and then have someone help you translate it into English.