Create-A-Servant 3

**WhiteFrenzy** · July 17th, 2021, 04:52 AM

Jirocho Shimizu (Summer): ICE CREAM MAN ICE CREAM MAN. I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS SERVANT. The fact that he's like a big homage to Yakuza 7 is just yet another reason why this is a man after my own heart, but the fact that you made him the quintessencial "cool vendor uncle" is so good. I can hear his jingle and all the children in a radius of 5km just... Perking their ears like an excited golden retriever. Thank you for gracing me with a wholesome summer dad.

Melehan: Arthurian characters? Yes, we always need more Arthurian characters. And when they end up being COOL Arthurian characters on top of that? Now you're just pampering us here.

**realcasually** · July 17th, 2021, 05:08 AM

Feels like I wasn't gone nearly that long and yet there's an ENORMOUS influx of Servants. Most of them Summer Servants. Most of them excellent. Summer Tarrare is fucking adorable and Jesse Livermore is DelRey flexing his Foreigner muscles so hard I'm worried for him. Eve is great as well, you know I love a good Beast.

I need to actually FINISH my Sir Kay sheet so I can get working on the Summer version I already have planned for him. I think you guys might appreciate it...

**DelRey** · July 17th, 2021, 05:32 AM

Realcas, you live! I hope you are around for my next sheet, there is an idea in my head that could mayhaps interest you, but idk for sure

Jingle man: great man, great sheet, great jingle. It is so fricking dumb and it all works perfectly for goofy summer events. Ice cream car, so summer yet never thought of it

Beast: that is really cool, i especially love the skills and I WILL steal on of them for a soonish sheet. The imagery of snake and eve being the same is actually pretty cool, never thought about that.

Still need to read melahan

**Cursed by Fortuna** · July 17th, 2021, 10:38 AM

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**BoktaiMoon** · July 17th, 2021, 10:39 AM

Originally Posted by RoydGolden

Melehan: I was interested in seeing this sheet since as far as I know I'm the only other one to have done a Melehan profile on this forum. Overall it's well-written and I like the idea of making her an amalgamation of the regrets of all the ordinary knights who died at Camlann and envied the "shining legends" (echoes Kiritsugu's statement about heroes beguiling mankind by presenting war as something glorious instead of hell), but does partially feel more like an OC than the mythical/historical figure themselves.

Probably that can't be helped to an extent since the character is so minor/obscure but the fact that you actively rewrote some of the few defining things that were established about Melehan's legend (his relation to Mordred and brother he rebelled alongside) to present your original story makes it feel more so. Aside from that I take it Profligate Pillager is a Skill that supplies her Mana the more she kills and resources she destroys? I'd imagine that but the Skill doesn't describe its effect apart from flavor-text. Also bonus points for the use of Guilty Gear music. Shows good taste right there.

Eh I feel kinda insulted lol overwriting Melehan with my original story. Like its just another interpretation of Melehan, you went with angry shota that just went into a momma's boy rampage. I went with a knight manipulated by Mordred

She still lead the men, she still inherited Clarent, she still fought against Constantine the III, she still died in the walls of the church. I also wanted to play the villainous aspects of Mordred, manipulating the people's hatred towards Arthur, playing up that mimicry charisma she can do and used it to torment Guinevere by mimicking Arturia's voice and posture and asking Guinevere to 'marry' her

There's also that Morgan is such a bullshit mage and used her own womb to incubate Mordred that makes it feel Mo-san is kinda like a Prototype Gundam, a one and only deal. Just having backup homunculi would be far too much like your sheet so I took a different route and made Melehan a tragic figure that got played like a fiddle by Mordred. Ya know like how Morgan played several knights and lords like a fiddle in attempts to kill Arthur and how all those people were straight up doomed by it, just different in that Mordred spoke of the Rebellion like a proper heroic righteous thing instead of playing on their vices

**DelRey** · July 17th, 2021, 11:46 AM

@Fortuna: Oh brrrrroo god damn. around 30 servants yet to review and your own projects. Thank you so much for all your hard work, but pls beware to not burn out.
idk how you work that through, but i would suggest doing those you have to do from a little while ago in clumps of creators. Like my Servants together, Therions servants, Wyverns Servants, etc. That way you can perhaps safe time. And you still have Enlil and my Livermore before you...
I will look forward to your Grands! I really enjoyed the work around your Grands and Beasts. I will use them all as reference when one day I try my hands on them.

Oh and you are right, the Munch hidden text was sneaky at the end, I should telegraph it better. wyvern at first overlooked that one too. But it was my goal to subvert the expectation of 'hidden stuff during the sheet' everyone expects at that pont. Sadly (for you) the whole hidden text thing is kinda popular right now. Gold and Silver from the last contest worked with them as well. Regarding my Seeds skill, I go the FGO route and interpret some 'constant' skills as Class Skills, like Muramasas Appreciation of Swords skill. A certain kind of "being" represented as a Class Skill, but i do acknowledge, that Innocent Monster should be Class Skill per that definition as well. But in the words of Gigguk, that paraphrased the reasoning behind the the Fate logic with the great line: "Dont worry about it". The Seeds skill make perhaps more sense in the near future.
It is probably just a small drop i relieve you of, but you dont have to make a real review on my Macak. It is a joke servant, read it, enjoy it if you like, but dont take it serious enough to put any effort into it. Same with my other two Summer Servants. And I apologize, but my other sheets (Ra, Liszt, Livermore) were big things for me and especially Livermore will be hard on you, because hiddenness is integral part of it.

**Master_Therion** · July 17th, 2021, 11:58 AM

@Fortuna: I don't want to be picky, but Wyvern's John is John VI, not John IV. Also, great job with the reviews.

**Kamera** · July 17th, 2021, 12:55 PM

damn that's one of the most reddit post i've seen since i came back, and that's saying something

**Vance** · July 17th, 2021, 01:05 PM

"BBQ! Watermelons! Snow cones! Hail Summer!

True Name: Yomotsu Shikome
Class: Lancer
Region: Japan
Source: Kojiki
Alignment: Lawful Summer

Parameters:
Strength: B+
Endurance: C
Agility: A
Mana: A
Luck: A

Class Skills:

Magic Resistance C+
Grants protection against magical effects. Differing from the Resistance effect that merely rejects Magical Energy, this ability cancels the spells altogether. Cancel spells with a chant below two verses. Cannot defend against magecraft on the level of High-Thaumaturgy and Greater Rituals. She has especially good resistance against curses.

Divinity A
The measure of whether one has Divine Spirit aptitude or not. At high levels, one is treated as a mixed race of a Divine Spirit - a demi-god. Those who have A Rank Divinity or above have reached the Throne of Gods, although they are still just short of being a true god due to lacking a Divine Core (神核, Kamikaku?). Lancer gained a high Divine aptitude after becoming a summer Servant.

"Unsurprising. The taint of Yomi has been mostly washed away from my body. I'm not just a monster of that place anymore but part of the world up here!"

Personal Skills:

Summertime Purification B
A skill representing Lancer's newfound purity as a result of washing herself through several bodies of water. It is through this that her disposition as a monster has weakened severely, though it wasn't erased due to personal reasons, strengthening the divine nature within her.

Gourmet (Summer) A
A skill that expresses Lancer's ability to cook summertime meals. Whether it's cutting fruits into perfectly sized portions, gutting mammals for spit roast, or impaling fish for grilling. She has all the necessary knowledge required to manage all of it.

"Heyo, Master! I've got some yakitori here. Why don't you take one to go...eh? Where did…? Oi, you blond haired glutton, come back here! Sorry, Master, I gotta go!"

The Legendary Yomotsu Shikome! EX
The skill that represents Lancer's reborn nature. Bestows a sleuth of grand buffs for Lancer to make use of, in celebration of her ascension though its in exchange for taking some of her health but that's okay with her. Actually just Goddess Metamorphosis under a different name and rank.

Noble Phantasm

Personality

Creator's Note: I had another summer servant in the works and here she is.

**Wyvern** · July 17th, 2021, 03:20 PM

Okay, allow me to address your reviews of my servants one at a time. That way I will be able to properly pace myself.

Originally Posted by Cursed by Fortuna

Iracema: You know one of these days I really am going to have to get around to reading more about your version of South America and Brazil as you do write a lot of interesting material on it, maybe sometime after I'm done with these recent reviews and have gotten Rider (Grand candidate) & Berserker (Grand Candidate) done. As is the servant is really well done, she's a bit similar to Tiamat, but also very different in terms of nature (with a fairly interesting personality and backstory which makes her a little complex in trying to figure out how I would react to her myself), her beliefs as a mother, and disposition and the idea of some of the lore that of mystic trees is a very interesting one in concept and function. In like her Noble Phantasm and skills are interesting yet also play well into making her suited as part of the greater narrative you likely are constructing and having a role within it. As a whole there's a whole lot I like about this sheet, but there are a few knitpicks I also have with it, some are just minor things like I think for magic resistance you meant B rank instead of A rank, A rank is immunity to all modern spells, B rank is immunity to anything short of greater rituals. Blessing of the land just as an FYI (in case you care) may run into the complication of the whole "cannot grow infinitely clause" but as this is a lostbelt servant and a plant at that (of there are tales of giant trees on earth) and really this may be a case of you just making a minor lore break for story reasons, which is fair enough. Aside from those minor knitpicks it's really well done as is both in terms of an individual sheet and part of a greater whole.

I'm glad you caught that small gaff on the Skill Ranks. When I make my sheets I tend to save time by using a template of the previous sheets I've made, and sometimes I forget to switch up ranks. It happens when I'm working on multiple things at the same time, but yeah. Hope that it didn't take much off your enjoyment out of it.

Originally Posted by Cursed by Fortuna

John VI (voyager): Okay so I've gone through and read the Lostbelt entry and the entry on your crypter and I have to admit I really love what you've done with the story thus far and look forward to reading though the other figures from the story you're writing. As for the sheet itself I like the character and the idea of him being partly amalgamated with his panhuman history version, yet also envying him to an extent and the personality really kinda sell the whole thing. I liked the Crown of Abdication as a personal skill as it's a rather unique idea in concept and function, however I will say that Longevity feels if not useless than not very useful as a personal skill, I feel some sort of skill more suited towards having them develop as their story continues would more fit the idea of voyagers as those who never truly finished their story or legend in life, being summoned as a heroic spirit. I also liked the tidbit about the seed of the tree of flame being the reason he has mana burst (fire).

Prínciple Real was a neat idea kinda in the vein of Babbage's Noble Phantasm also explaining why he has mechanized armor or that form, however Andurá Braganza is far more interesting to me mostly for lore reasons (although I will note it is a little weird the seed supposedly has limitless mana [something which is actually technically impossible as not even the planet has limitless mana, but near limitless mana is possible and that's probably what you meant], yet John IV himself only has C rank mana despite having the seed inside him) and I'm going to guess these seeds are from trees (possibly with a degree of sentience maybe due to being phantasmal species of some sort) which once grew during the age of the gods in Brazil or South America. Even still I look forward to reading through the rest of the sheets you write for this idea as the one's I've read so far are really well done.

In regards to Voyager's Mana being only C despite Andurá Braganza having virtually unlimited fuel is because accessing it is dangerous to Voyager's body. As you might know, wood and fire don't mix up very well, and it is mentioned in his Mana Burst skill that over use can lead to damage to his own body. So Voyager can access a C-Rank of Mana quantity without suffering backlash, and anything more than that can only be accessed through Mana Burst, which lead to self immolation.

I am also honored that you took the time to read my entrances on the other threads. I don't want to force readers to go through all my stuff to understand each individual sheet. But I can guarantee that your enjoyment and understanding of them will be greater than others if you do take the time to read the other threads.

Originally Posted by Cursed by Fortuna

Kasato Maru: Kancolle faceclaim aside I'm not exactly the biggest fan of this servant myself. For one Trajectory correction is a really weird skill even for gunner I would just think that marksmanship would be one of the class skills of gunner and maybe something similar to mystery slayer where they do more damage to older mysteries due to the advent modern firearms generally bringing the amount of people who can get into the throne to just a trickle. As such Arms proficiency seems like a given rather than a class skill, sabers don't have a sword for being good with a sword, they just are because it's a requirement of the class, and I already said Trajectory correction is weird. Fire support cannon is a given, although the weak ranking is a little odd given, she was formerly a warship at one point, and spoils of war really doesn't make it clear that refers to herself so that could use changing. Heavenly ship is basically divinity (which she already has so they should probably be lumped together), now for my biggest issue Protection of a Sacred Voyage.

I don't and can't believe that the literally karmic rejection imposed by the simulated world of a lostbelt is something an E rank skill can overcome. Karmic rejection is in my mind basically the same as Gaia's laws except for lostbelts, the Chinese lostbelt rejected most heroes as humanity had no need for them at first, the British lostbelt rejected them because humans had no place in their history (mostly), from what I've seen Brazil is the same, all you would have to do is only select from the same pool of heroes you already have been choosing from and say only they can be summoned or fight here and Mash due to her demi-servant existence is immune to this rule. This really just seems to be copping out and wasting a neat idea. Takarabune Nikkei is a nice idea and it plays well into the Kancolle lore while also explaining why Kasato Maru looks so human, but I just can't fully get over the disappointment of this. Full disclosure this is the last servant sheet I reviewed for this batch and you were doing so strong with your other work. While the personality is nice and the NP is good I just don't like it and while I can't stop you, I would ask that if you are going to implement this into the lostbelt to maybe reconsider stuff related to it, because as is, this is the low point of the servants I've reviewed related to it.

Ah, and there it is.

I knew this sheet would be a bit troublesome and even considered editing it. But thought better to leave it as it is until I got more feedback. I will try to answer your feedback as best as I can.

Kasato Maru's role is that she is immune to Karmic Rejection by virtue of having a link to Brazilian History. Thus, she does not get rejected at all. Her Protection of a Sacred Voyage applies that immunity to individuals who become part of her crew. Either by making a contract with her, as the Seven Lucky Gods have, or by having Servants summoned inside her 'hammerspace' as is the case with Chaldea using her as a base of operations.

However, that protection only exists inside Kasato Maru, hence why she only has an E-Rank at it.

If Chaldea tried to summon servants inside her and take them out to fight, they would be greatly weakened and then rejected. Only servants that have a 'link' to South America can go outside Kasato Maru with any degree of success, with the exception of Mash due to her unique status. SO South American servants are still very much the stars of the show, but some canon FGO servants do have connections to South America. For example, Napoleon has a link to its history due to his actions in life.

Jaguar Man and Quetzalcoatl are less affected by Rejection due to their 'origin' being closer than other servants. To the point that they have 'Counterparts' on the Lostbelt. So Karmic Rejection sees them as 'Alter Egos'.

I will take your suggestions about the Skills of the Gunner Class and the Personal Skills of Kasato Maru into account when I make my edits. Just wanna make sure that she doesn't come off as plot breaking.

Originally Posted by Cursed by Fortuna

The King of Carnaval / King Momo: Man, you are on a roll with this King Momo is a really neat servant and concept, and all of his parts as a high servant are used very well, alongside his personality and noble phantasms to truly represent each part of his composite servants., I will grant you this is actually one of the more well done if not the best Alter-Egos I've seen, including the likes of the canon ones (who I generally find usually tend to fail to strike the balance of trying to represent the servant themselves and their composite parts well). As a whole it's a nice addition to your already existing lostbelt setting.

And now to top it off when our Showman of the New World. The funkiest King to ever exist. I'm honestly surprised at how well he came out, since the concept I had for him was entirely different. More of a neutral figure than an enemy. But I find that he adds some levity to the Protagonists while coming off as intimidating and charismatic in his own way.

I'm looking forward to making the other Gods of the New World and that they hopefully become as well liked as King Momo.

**BoktaiMoon** · July 17th, 2021, 04:35 PM

Fuck it mad lad time

Name: Ea Nasir (Summer)
Class: Lancer
Alias: Lancer of Poaching, Cheap Bastard, Walletbreaker

STR: B (You will take my money from my cold dead hands!)
AGI: A+ (Nigerundayo Ur-nungal!)
END: A (Baby from Dilmun to Mesopotamia! Ain't nowhere I can't run to!)
MAG: D (Eh gods weren't friendly with me and those damned priests!)
LCK: A+ (HAHAHAHAHA of all from Mesopotamia the Complain Letters survived! My name echoes across eons by pure chance! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!)

*It's the hoodie guy.

Alternate clothes

Ea Nasir. A name featured in a mesopotomian historical record (tablet). A long letter (ranting) that speaks nothing but of his ill character and foul deeds, a merchant who sells frauds and items of low quality at high exorbitant prices and dashes away escaping the law. At such time those deeds would be death for all those who attempted it, be it by the hands of the people or by exile to the wilderness where no human could survive for long. Yet again and again Ea Nasir sewed chaos and discontent for his amusement only to gain pardon by bribing the superiors of his victims with rare magical reagents. Given it's rumored to be from the days of Gilgamesh he could be considered one of the oldest anti-heroes in the history of man, a trickster rather than a true foul villain. Kings will not be disposed, bloodshed will be kept at minimum but wallets will undoubtedly be emptied in all sorts of scams

But now it's summer! Where men and women are running wild with emotion and desires! To see the blue sea, to enjoy the hot sun, to walk upon the sands hand-in-hand with their lovely sweethearts and for dense husbands to be cucked by fuckbois. That's it a gathering of imbeciles that have no desire to think, worry, suspect and stay on guard! Of course the authorities in Chaldea will never give a permit to Ea-Nasir, not that he cares, out of sights out of minds businesses will always exist as long as humans are humans, creating laws, disregarding them, corrupting them, humans will always try to weasel out one way or another and there's no one better than him at this. A mind that when it comes to understanding money-people relation is capable of rivaling Moriarty and Columbus.

While others relax at summer Ea-Nasir works with a manic pace that makes even others around him exhausted, madly pursuing products and sales his gungho attitude is more like a Berserker Nurse's but even so his eye remains sharp and tongue always ready to fire and overwhelm or seduce clients (suckers) to partake in his sales. Perhaps it's due to the place possessing immensely tasty fauna or simply because a certain Gold King has been keeping a sharp eye on him but it seems when it comes to food Ea-Nasir is quite the cook himself, nothing special but unexpected from history's oldest conman

"Ah?! If ya want expensive shit go to that hag cooking club...Oh sorry you can't afford it right? But it's okay your friend Ea-Nasir has all sorts of affordable snacks. Fishes, lobsters, crabs, jellyfishes, boars, fruits, even monkey if you are into it! Anything I can get my hands into will be grilled!"

That said please do not overdo it or warn a certain nurse. Hell will occur

Skills

Magic Resistance (Seabeast) (A): Setting upon the seas with a mad gleam upon his eye. Truly he is the Ahab (Fafnir) of Mesopotamia. Eat or be eaten a man who has whole embraced the laws of the sea and partakes of it's bounty recklessly, against sea monster he shows surprisingly resilience. Against other types of mystery its equal to the usual magic resistance of Rank C
Personal Skills

Camelot (C~A): Not the kingdom associated with knights but the french word meaning wandering salesman. Popular in Brazillian culture it's was changed to Camelo. A seller of cheap products that walks the line between legal and illegal ,in price and quality, where no questions will be made and the only communication is haggling and the handing of money. When it comes to beaches they are a common sight and have become one with it. Convenient sellers that act like sharks upon blood when foolish gringos (tourists) think of them as a simple part of the scenario. A skill granted by King Momo after he noticed Ea-Nasir's way of acting this summer. Mixes independent action and golden rule, ranks up as Ea-nasir keeps the flow of money going increasing the rarity of items obtained but the moment he stops moving it will crash

Incitement (Greed) (A): An absoluteness of the psyche. A wellspring of unyielding determination. The heart that devotes itself to the obtainment of money. To never stop desiring, to never stop dreaming, even should he have the entirety of the world's money.....Normally such wishes would inevitably attract a disaster like the Rhinegold but Ea-Nasir's willingness to lose treasure to obtain later treasure means he wouldn't fall for such a scam anyways. He laughs and says "Don't be so obvious you nimrods!". No matter where it may be as long as greed exists Ea-Nasir will be able to break dialogue with anyone, piercing through hatred and righteousness with languid skill that borders a mental attack

Beach-Villain (EX): The calamity upon wallets have arrived! Trickery will run rampart and morale will fall.....a convenient scapegoat for such summer happenings. "What do you mean I have that kind of face!" in exchange of magical energy all sort of shady mystic codes can be created or simply turned into pocket sand. A foul fighting that spits upon the spirit of the summer....or something?

Noble Phantasm

**NittyGritty** · July 17th, 2021, 04:48 PM

fortuna is too powerful and cant be stopped

thank you for the kind feedback

its always great receiving such in-depth concrit

consider your words heard and immediately disregarded

have a nice day

)))

**DelRey** · July 17th, 2021, 06:10 PM

NG is Chaotic Evil aligned
Funny line, but I guess Fortuna does not need to review his sheets anymore

**Kabalisto Koga** · July 17th, 2021, 06:28 PM

Originally Posted by DelRey

NG is Chaotic Evil aligned

That makes me curious what my Alignment may be ?

**Kamera** · July 17th, 2021, 06:35 PM

i mean, there's good constructive criticsm and helpful advice, and there's annoying insensitive ramble that does neither

**NittyGritty** · July 17th, 2021, 06:40 PM

it's just a prank bro

I am genuinely grateful.

**Lambda-Nu** · July 17th, 2021, 11:55 PM

Originally Posted by Kabalisto Koga

That makes me curious what my Alignment may be ?

You are very hard to place on that scale, Koga.

As for me, Chaotic Good at best, Lawful Evil at worst.

**Wyvern** · July 18th, 2021, 01:20 AM

“BB, I don’t like where this is going.” “Listen, Senpai. Do you like not being able to summon anyone once we are stuck in South America? We will be sitting ducks if we go inside that place. At least with this experiment we can make sure we’ll be able to summon servants that won’t be kicked back to the Throne as soon as they pop out.” “Still…” “I agree with Fujimaru on this one. Technical Advisor Da Vinci, are you sure this experiment won’t go awry?” “It is completely harmless, I promise you! With a genius like myself at the helm, there is no way we’ll be lead astray!” “You say that, but we are messing around with BB’s Summer Saint Graph.” “You know, the one with the Eldritch Abomination attached to it.” It is the only one we have access to. With BB safely stored in the Storm Border’s database, we can safely interact with it without fear of losing it like other records. Besides! It’s Summer, so I should be using it for something! “Okay, so walk me through this again.” “Sure thing, senpai! You see, because my Summer Spirit Graph is one that contains multiple Origins, by removing my ‘Ego’ from it, I leave a small gap where something else can be introduced. You can think of it as something similar to the Alter Egos.” “So we are putting something else in control of it?” “You catch on fast! As expected of senpai!” “Hang on! Are we really letting something as dangerous as an Outer God operate without you there to keep it in check?!” “Oh ye of little faith. Nyarla can’t pilot because of the whole Alien God business going on. But there is someone else there who can totally do it!” “You can’t mean…” “Yup!” “Well, its not as bad as having a Foreigner walking around.” “You can’t be seriously considering this?!” “Director. I’m afraid our options are few. Without a way to properly summon servants, we’ll have to rely solely on Mash’s abilities. If we can even the odds, then shouldn’t we try to do everything we can?” “Besides! I’m making sure to install a South American Foundation as the base for this Spirit Origin. That means the chance of Rejection will be nill!” “We are still going to summon that goddess, though… ” “She’s not that bad. Besides, we have a plan!” “Indeed! We’ll completely remove the part that represents my Ego and replace it with a Phantom specifically made to draw on a South American foundation. So long as part of the Spirit Origin has a connection to the territory, Karmic Rejection won’t affect the end product. It’s brilliant, I say! “Genius, I say!” “I have a bad feeling about this.” “Well, we won’t get anywhere arguing about it. Might aswell do it while we are in this Summer Singularity” “I’ll go get Holmes…” “Well now, shall we proceed~” [Saint Graph Alteration Initiated - Please stand back] … [Saint Graph Alteration Confirmed] … [Primary Origin - ‘BB’ extracted] … [Introducing Replacement Origin - The King of Football] … “The King of Wha-” … “Well now, isn’t this interesting. Giving little ol’ me the driver’s seat! Aren’t you all kind enough to finally remember I was around. What’s up folks, who do you need me to burn? Or maybe y'all are in need of an extra teammate? I’m glad to be taken off reserve at last!”

Summer Goddess of Volcanoes (and Football)
“Man, I didn’t expect to get summoned like this! Yo, Master! Berserker Pele at your orders! So, you up for a game?”
Profile
Class	Other Classes	Allignment
Berserker	Foreigner / Moon Cancer	Chaotic Good
Height / Weight	Region	Source
1.8m / 77kg	Hawaii / Brazil	Mythology / Fiction
Likes
“A nice match sounds good to me! This is a vacation after all so don’t worry about any offenses. I promise not to burn anyone if we lose!”
Dislikes
“Losing, of course! Vacation or not, I’m still a goddess and my pride won’t suffer defeat!”
Parameters
Strength: B
Agility: A
Endurance: B
Mana: B
Luck: E
Noble Phantasm: A
Command Cards

Background
“The King of Football? BB, what the hell did you do?!” BB’s replacement Spirit Origin is closer to that of a Phantom, or perhaps a ‘possible heroic spirit’ which draws on the overzealous, and at times destructive, passion South Americans hold towards their favored sport. Having used one of the most popular ‘facts’ known about Brazilians to create a ‘Secondary Foundation’ to complement Pele’s and prevent Karmic Rejection by the Tree of Life in the Amazonic Lostbelt. At least that was what she said. In part Da Vinci’s work. The King of Football was developed as a leash to prevent Pele from acting out while in control of BB’s Saint Graph. A set of rules which enforces ‘sportsmanship’ and ‘cooperation’ while preying on Pele’s pride as a selfish destructive goddess. The restrains, unfortunately, are not one hundred percent effective, as Nyarlathotep’s presence means that Pele is still allowed to behave as a trickster who misleads others to their own demise. While the Servant in question can be described as BB’s Saint Graph being piloted by Pele, the fact is that BB’s ego has been replaced with an artificial heroic spirit enforced by their presence in south american shores. A Phantom which cannot exist by itself, which stubbornly clings to and overwrites Pele's normal destructive personality with that of an easy going ‘Goddess on Vacation’ However, should something trigger her ‘sore loser’ tendencies, Pele’s temper will slowly increase in temperature until she burns away everything around herself in a bout of passionate anger. Not at all unlike a rabid fan who just watched their favorite team lose. “Come on! It wasn’t a foul! Really, referees these days are all bought. You can’t trust them. Oh, hi Master. Just enjoying a game while I wait for some food from the stand. Do you wanna watch?” Seeing her Master as a ‘Coach’, Pele will heed their words as long as she keeps winning. However, if a Master’s guidance leads to her somehow losing a fight or ‘game’, she will become increasingly angry at the Master’s incompetence until she eventually lashes out at them. The restraints on Pele’s sadistic temper will hold so long as she is able to relentlessly torment her opponents in games of her choice. The King of Football drives her to pick sports rather than have her enforce unreasonable demands on other people as she was known to do. Instead, her demands will rest solely on the Master’s ability to help her win. Keeping Pele in a good mood is paramount to avoid activating Mad Enhancement.
Personality
“I sound easy going? Well, I suppose there is some influence from that Phantom affecting me. The beaches, the sun, the waves. Everything reminds me of home, so I’m in a pretty good mood! Though there might be some… weird stuff mixed in.” The Polynesian Goddess of Volcanoes, Pele. A mighty divine spirit in control of BB’s Saint Graph for the moment, she is in a pleasant mood despite her well known temper. In fact, it could be said that the influence of BB’s artificial South American Servant has created a leash which prevents her temper from acting out unless she loses in a game of football. Yes, BB went for perhaps the laziest possible foundation for an artificial Heroic Spirit. Weaponing the fanatic passion attributed to South Americans towards the sport. Pele is forced to play by a code of sportsmanship. However, the one in charge is still very much Pele. A woman with queenly disposition who enjoys toying with mortals for her own pleasure. Her influence in BB during a certain incident in the past lead to awakening a sadistic side beyond anything the norm even for the mischievous and rule-breaking BB. In short, Pele is a rough player and a sore loser. Charging forward with wild abandon, Pele’s fiery nature is restrained by the King of Footwork’s need to ‘play by the rules’. Though she will find ways to break the rules when no one is watching. Using dirty tricks such as feigning injuries, roughly clashing with other players and avoiding the eye of the referee to recklessly seek victory. A passionate goddess, Pele is prone to possessiveness and to bouts of irrational anger when she feels betrayal. However, the ‘King of Football’ which makes up a third of her current self enforces the need for teamwork and cooperation. “Okay, so it was a bit of a rush job. But she seems stable doesn’t she?! And look at those stats. Definetely the power of a high tier goddess. So what if she’s obsessed with a silly ball game. It’ll be fine!”
Class Skills
Mad Enhancement - [E+++]
Pele’s fearsome temper has been reduced to a mellow grouchiness. She is hyper focused on winning and becomes more and more aggressive the longer it takes to ‘win a game’. Using her Skill also further increases the Rank of this Skill. Making her more difficult to reason with or control.
Divine Core of the Goddess - [EX]
A Skill that expresses one being a perfected goddess since birth. It has the effect of preserving the absoluteness of the mind and body. It repels all mental interference, prevents the body from growth, and prevents the figure from changing no matter how many calories are absorbed. It is a composite Skill that comprises the Skill Divinity.
Sportsmanship - [A]
A Passive Skill representing the influence of the King of Football over Pele’s behavior. Granting her a sharp boost in luck when participating in group activities, her luck will decrease if she displays behavior deemed ‘unsportsman-like’. If she is called out by her Master or a Referee (Ruler), Berserker’s Luck will drop to E-Rank.
Personal Skills
Marksmanship (Footwork) - [A]
The ability to kick anything in order to hit a target (goal). Pele’s prefered method of attack is to kick anything and everything around her into her enemies. Even using her opponents as ammo against each other. Her aim is near perfect, befitting a Skill obtained through her connection with the King of Football.
Aggressive Tactics - [B]
The tactics of a sore loser bordering on cheating. When used, increases Pele’s Mad Enhancement by a Single Rank. This Skill represents Pele’s inherent explosive close combat abilities, limited to a game court where she can only use it if she finds an opening. So long as nobody important calls foul, she will continue to manhandle and torment her opponents.
Vacation Hula - [C]
A dance taught to Pele by her favored sister. It is the one thing which can calm her temper, though the act of dancing also serves to temporarily increase her Divinity and Mana, allowing Pele to utilize her Noble Phantasm without the need for Mad Enhancement reaching its highest rank. A master capable of making Pele relax and enjoy herself while on vacation will be rewarded with a less volatile Berserker.
Explosive Temper - [EX]
Pele’s legendary bad temper in the form of a Skill. A severe increase in temperature which immolates everything around her. Perhaps the purest expression of Pele’s divinity as a Heroic Spirit. Using it will further increase her Madness enhancement by two ranks and if Aggressive Tactics have been used previously, Pele’s temper will reach the threshold needed to unleash her Noble Phantasm.
Noble Phantasm
Pelehonuamea: She who Shapes the Sacred Land		A-Rank / Anti-Island

A recreation of the feat through which Pele’s wrath becomes a river of molten stone and washes over the sea in order to create new land. In less flattering terms? A sore loser’s temper tantrum which risks burning down the beach and ruining everyone’s vacation. An application of Pele’s Explosive Temper turned up to its highest setting. This Noble Phantasm recreates the Divine Spirit’s domain of a ‘Volcano’, trapping all those surrounding Pele into a cage of boiling magma and smoke. Unlike a Reality Marble, Pelehonuamea is a physical projection of Kilauea. When her Mad Enhancement reaches its peak, Pele will involuntarily activate her Noble Phantasm, causing an eruption which will burn away everything and everyone around on a shower of lava, flames and ash. The only way to safely activate this Noble Phantasm without risking complete obliteration of one’s surroundings is through the use of Pele’s Vacation Hula Skill, which puts her in a state of complete relaxation and enjoyment. Condensing the blast of heat into an aura which greatly increases the effectiveness of hand to hand combat. As anything she touches will burst into flame. In conjunction with Marksmanship, Pele uses this version of her Noble Phantasm to effortlessly kick fire balls at her opponent with the accuracy of a true King of Football. Who won’t miss after having scored a Hundred Times!

Relationships
Master
“Oi, Master. What are you doing over there?! Those chumps at the beach are challenging us! Let’s go kick their ass!”
‘Twinkle Star’ (Summer)
“The kid is refereeing? Is that… safe? Well, whatever. So long as he doesn’t cheat.”
King Momo
“That guy is a god? Not quite? What a weirdo. But hey, so long as he doesn’t skimp out on my drinks I’m fine with him. He dances well too! Maybe we can have a competition!”
Ea Nasir (Summer)
“Oi, Master! Look at what that shady guy sold me!”
Yomotsu Shikome
“An eating contest? Brilliant! I’m in. Master, get a referee. I’m so gonna win this one!”
Sigmund Freud (Summer)
“Nothing like a drinking contest to wash down the food, right master? Still, the bartender is kinda leery. It’s pissing me off.”
Jirocho Shimizu (Summer)
“Not gonna lie. I’m kinda having fun! Everything’s been perfect. Even the ice cream. It’s kinda cold but it melts super easy. Reminds me of my sister, you know! Not the melting part I mean! I’m not that much of a jerk!”
Karolina Olson (Summer)
“That one’s been lounging around all day. Think she’d be up for a game if we asked. We should have enough around for two teams at this point!”

**Spartacus** · July 18th, 2021, 01:59 AM

Tirgatao: You know there was one time I considered doing Camilla as a faker of Atalante, but aside from the sheer amount of work for it I wasn't sure I could pull it off well, that's why I came up with the new idea I have for Faker as it allows for both me able to explore a period of history and have some fun with it (partly due to the weirdness that occurred around that time and me just taking that and running with it and the idea that sprung forth as a result), and also let me do a faker that while clearly a faker class servant also is different enough in their real personality and motives so as to be separate from the person they are faking being. That aside Refractory Retribution and Breakout are the highlights of this sheet on the sides of the personal skills and are neat enough Riding is a weird one (I myself never know how to treat class skills outside their class [personally I would just list them as class skills]) and I feel given it focuses on mounted maybe a variant of it would have been better than just standard Riding (or possibly something like Amazonian tactics or the like both to highlight her abilities as a leader and her ability as a mounted archer).

Mana burst just feels superfluous here really if you had to explain he shockwave thing to repel an assassination attempt you could just make it a weak noble phantasm that has her let out a short range warcry "channeling the power of Ares" or the like due to the amazon connection which would be further by it (maybe kinda serving as a close range burst attack all around the user, knocking back or stunning foes while deflecting projectiles and such, albeit maybe not having much power as a result). It could be well served at furthering the Amazon connection while also avoiding Mana burst. Beyond that Tigbra Tava kinda reminds me of Enki with the first arrow serving as a sort of tracing or guiding round for the 2nd part of the attack, except its sword and fire stead of a spear of light and a great flood. Still great to see more capable non-genderbent female heroic spirits.

First of all, thanks for the review.

As for why I give her a standard Riding instead of a specialized variant. It's a Skill she gets because she is a Scythian woman rather than her own personal history, so I think that giving something standard is more appropriate in this case.

Mana Burst is a Skill that I give her more in the angle of her role in a story I currently make. She is a relentless Archer that hunts the protagonist down and always fires her best shot (she chase the protagonist with motorbike and fires a lot of "one-hit kill attacks" to them). I personally reluctant to give her a specifically Amazon Skill and NP because she is a Scythian first before they are the inspiration of the Amazon, I don't want to rely on her connection with the Amazons too much.

**Lady Vanatos** · July 18th, 2021, 06:08 AM

Foreigner of the Market: Goddamn is this a top-tier sheet. You managed to add so many aspects to it without it coming across as overly clustered while still obtaining that good spot of being Nasu's brand of justifiable in context and entertainingly convoluted. In particular I liked how you tied the Machine God in this instance to Hastur in vice versa. In fact, the whole Theia bit makes me want to go back and fiddle with my old Foreigner Francis E. Dec sheet given its correlation with an unknown technological god and the whole Theia mind virus thing. All in all, it comes together really well.

Thread: Create-A-Servant 3

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