Epilogue:
“—Is it really alright if you don’t visit your mother?”
The person who asked me the question was Zepia, who stood in the shade of a tree to be out of the sunlight. We were all outside the village, at the foot of the mountain.
It was now sometime in the evening, and the sun had mostly sunk into the horizon. Even so, it seemed that sunlight was still troublesome for the director of the Atlas Institute. Apart from his usual cape, he had also donned a hood.
“…My mother’s alright, right?”
“Yers. Though she and Father Fernando were in a critical condition, after administering some first aid, Sister Illumia took them to a hospital nearby with connections to the Holy Church. Their lives shouldn’t be in danger. The Church doesn’t know anything about how she took your place, and her link with the Husk King has also been completely severed. You don’t have to worry about whether or not she will become some sort of magecraft specimen. …In terms of what else happened, nobody in the village died.”
It almost felt like a joke, like mountains had parted only to reveal a single mouse(TN: Also an idiom, means something that sounds substantial but really isn’t). After such a comically large amount of turmoil, I found it difficult to believe that it would end in such a peaceful way.
Or perhaps it would be more fitting to say that we had made it into a peaceful ending.
I rubbed my shivering shoulders. The frigid wind was a little harder to bear, as we had just been in the summer of the Second Cycle not long ago.
“I suppose you could say that the mind of King Arthur—the Husk King is an exception. In actuality, she was only returned to the inside of Logos ReAct as a mental model. The concept of time is vague for a being that does not have a body or a soul, so the months that she spent underground was equivalent to a couple of minutes of napping.”
Around half a day had passed since the battle. After we had been released from that space, we had listened to Zepia’s explanations as he finished what he called ‘dealing with the aftermath’.
According to him, the contract that meant that the Atlas Institute had to lend out Logos ReAct until King Arthur was revived or ruled as incapable of being revived was still in place. The main reason why this case happened, Logos React, which had fused with my mother and the mind of King Arthur, seemed to have entered a state of self-diagnosis and self-repair. It would probably remain that way for the next couple of years, and considering the intervals between the Fuyuki Holy Grail Wars, there should be no need to worry about it for the time being.
Of course, the old woman who believed in King Arthur the most fervently wouldn’t give up, but you could say that it didn’t matter either way. The only reason why she had gone as far as to fight openly with the Holy Church was because a chance to reunite the body, mind, and soul had appeared. After this was no longer the case, she wouldn’t be able to do anything.
“Does my mother know that I’m still alive?”
“That information should have been transmitted to her, because she was briefly fused with Logos ReAct. Though most humans aren’t capable of processing that many pieces of information, theoretically, she will be left with the impression that you are alive.”
“That’s all I need to know. As long as she knows I’m still alive.”
If I went to visit her and the rest of the villagers happened to find out, there would be trouble. If that did happen, I didn’t know what the desperate woman and the other believers would do.
“What about going to visit her in disguise?” Flat suggested, as if he had sensed what I was thinking about.
Speaking of that, the spell that he had cast on my button had still been in place, so it was a shock when we returned here to find that my face was different. Our bodies in the Second Cycle seemed to have been constructed by Logos ReAct, so we didn’t have even a scratch on us.
“No, there’s no need to. Besides, my mother and I still need some time away from each other.”
I’ll definitely meet her again one day, I thought. One day, but now. Before that happened, I first needed to get my own thoughts in order.
What did all the things she had done for me mean, and what did she think about them? In order to not make any more mistakes, I wanted to answer each one of my questions, and I didn’t know how long that would take.
Before that, though, it must have been disorienting for a lot of the villagers for summer to suddenly become winter as they were preparing to revive King Arthur. I didn’t know what would happen to the village in the future, but it would be impossible for it to maintain the status quo. From that perspective, having my mother stay in a hospital with connections to the Holy Church seemed safer to me.
Just as I considered this, my mentor spoke.
“…The Chivalric Orders haven’t taken any action yet, so it seems that the Holy Church hasn’t noticed the situation over here.”
“Huh? Isn’t that strange? Since all the people in this village have disappeared for half a year, that means that Sister Illumia and Father Fernando haven’t contacted them for that long as well, right? They were sent there to monitor the village, so wouldn’t it seem weird if they didn’t send any reports for that long?” Svin asked, pointing out the problem.
That was true. Since this place was already under surveillance, the central members of the Holy Church should have done something. What would be a reason for them not to…?
“Did someone mess with the information?”
“Heartless, isn’t it?”
“Who knows?” Zepia said, deflecting the question.
My mentor shifted his gaze to his students.
“Flat, Svin, can you scout out the town at the foot of the mountain? I don’t think anything will come up, but it would be a problem if members of the Holy Church really came.”
“Gotcha!”
“We will try to return as soon as possible!”
Flat and Svin gave a quick salute before turning around quickly.
They had started out walking peacefully on the road, but somewhere along the way, something happened between them that caused them to start arguing, which gradually turned into something that resembled a game of tag that involved magecraft. It was very much in their style. Though they hadn’t sustained any injuries, they were probably still tired. So, seeing them acting so livelily, should I say that that was what could only be expected from the twin juggernauts of the El-Melloi Classroom?
My mentor watched them go before turning to Zepia again.
“Oh, and, something else that caught my attention. Do you mind telling me something before we leave?”
“What?”
“I feel like the order is wrong.”
“The order?”
“Those four rules are connected to the Magic Circuits of the grave keepers. In other words, it’s reasonable to assume that that was passed down the Blackmore line for generations, from long before the Common Era.”
“Yes, that is a reasonable assumption,” Zepia said, nodding. Above him, a raven cawed. The call sounded somewhat lonely, as it resounded throughout the silent forest.
Bersac had probably returned to reality as well. No matter what happened to the village in the future, I don’t think that the grave keeper who taught me all sorts of knowledge and skills would leave this place. Perhaps he would live out the entire rest of his life as the grave keeper of Blackmore Graveyard.
“However, that Black Madonna is possibly modeled after Morgan Le Fay, so it’s relic of King Arthur’s time, after the Common Era. Most people agree that she comes from around the Fifth Century. So why would a rule about the Black Madonna appear in the grave keeper’s rules?”
“Those two don’t necessarily contradict each other. The last rule was just added on afterwards. The grave keepers of Blackmore Graveyard were originally just skilled Soul Carriers.”
“True, Magic Crests are meant to be added onto by later generations. …But, those four rules were added on far more recently than we assumed, right? For instance, maybe they could have been added a few centuries ago, around the same time when you became the director of the Atlas Institute.”
Hearing my mentor’s words, Zepia’s eyebrow twitched slightly.
“Just say what you’re trying to imply directly.”
“I think the order is the opposite of what I just said. Actually, out of the four rules, the one about the Black Madonna was the one that had always been there, to more efficiently discover someone with the potential to become King Arthur. That’s what the statue functions as, as a Mystic Code. None of the other rules are necessary. Yes, though they stop the villagers from accidentally getting too close to Mystery, and because hiding the Bounded Field around the swamp would be quite difficult. However, those rules only tell people [what not to do]. Perhaps it might even be for the frequently visiting director of the Atlas Institute to [be able to calculate the parameters of the villagers more easily.]”
My eyes widened.
“You have lent out Logos ReAct to this land, and before the Contract of Atlas is fulfilled or deemed incapable of being fulfilled, you cannot retrieve it. Of course, you must have set up some kind of Mystic Code used for monitoring this place, but if you were to intervene directly, that would violate the contract. We’ve already proven that with this case. Just like the Magic Circuits, the four rules only affect the grave keepers. You set those rules with the grave keeper back then, getting as close to violating the contract as you could without actually violating it.”
After he listened to what my mentor had to say, the alchemist shrugged. He didn’t deny it, though, and under these circumstances, that was as the best confirmation we could get.
My mentor sighed deeply.
“You really are patient and well-prepared.”
“The alchemists of the Atlas Institute are still mages, which means you can never trust one completely. You should know that.”
The alchemist spoke with a hint of a smile as he looked at my mentor, who remained serious.
“……”
I listened to their conversation, speechless.
In this case alone, my impression of Zepia had been completely overturned three times already. How was I meant to understand someone like him? I first thought that he was a sinister person shrouded in mystery. After Logos ReAct malfunctioned, he seemed like the stoic guardian of the world. And now, he gave me the impression of a crafty salesperson. No, it must have been all of this that joined together to form this Dead Apostle and alchemist named Zepia Eltnam Atlasia.
“Is this what you noticed first?”
“Yes, I thought of it when we discussed the Black Madonna and Morgan Le Fay in the underground temple. I only thought of it again because of a hint you gave us during the First Cycle, something about how this place was connected to a Dead Apostle from two thousand years ago.”
—“Blackmore is the name of an ancient Dead Apostle with a connection to this land.”
—“A Dead Apostle who controlled birds and lived for more than two thousand years ago, but was unfortunately killed in this script.”
I never thought that those would end up being related.
“Next, all I have to do is follow this to its logical conclusion. Why are you here? Why would you bring up the graveyard and the three parts of a person? I’m a bit ashamed to admit to it, but I only became sure of it when I read Heartless’ evidence board.”
“This was a bit of a gamble for me as well,” Zepia said, looking as if he was about to fade into the sunset. (TN: What, where did that description come from?) “I can see many possibilities(scripts), and I can measure each of their probabilities. However, there is only ever one reality. Hm. Don’t you plan on asking me about my deal with Heartless?”
“I don’t need to. I’m already certain about that. It’s different for what you gained from it, but what Heartless asked for is obvious.”
“Oh. Do you want to confirm it with me?”
My mentor replied without a moment of hesitation.
“Alright. If Heartless wanted information about the ritual in this village, he wouldn’t have needed to strike a deal with Gray’s mother. Heartless is almost ridiculously cautious— In a certain sense, he’s a bit like me, as he makes so many preparation that it makes him seem cowardly. If that’s the case, there is one thing that he could have asked of you, which is to [not calculate anything related to his future], right?
“And that is how your knowledge of everything that he was involved in was limited. That’s one of the reasons why you could only take a passive stance.”
“A lovely answer. …And just in case you wanted to know, he provided me with data about the Holy Grail Wars in the past.”
Hearing those words, I felt myself tense up.
Heartless had carefully researched the Fuyuki Holy Grail Wars. That was why he had information that not even the director of the Atlas Institute knew.
However, if Zepia needed this information…
“Ah, there’s no need to be worried. I have no intent on taking part in a Holy Grail War. I’m just curious about the spells behind it. Yes, the process of summoning a Servant, which can reproduce even the soul, is connected to the Third Magic which I wish for.”
The body, the mind, and the soul.
Up to this point, these three concepts had appeared countless times.
However, it was said that no type of magecraft would be able to recreate a soul, except with the use of the Third Magic, something that no mage would be able to attain— an impossible way for humanity to advance forward.
However, that wasn’t that closely related to this case, and my mentor did not ask more questions on the subject. Like my mentor would sometimes say during lectures, excessive knowledge can sometimes lead to danger.
Zepia, however, tilted his head slightly.
“Do you have another question?”
“Can I… ask you something else?”
“You are more than welcome to do so.”
The raven cawed again.
The smell of dinner being cooked reached me. Perhaps it was a hallucination, or perhaps it was the scent of the food from some family at the foot of the mountain wafting by on the wind. It made me think back to my mother’s stew. That taste, which had once sent chills down my spine, now made me feel nostalgic.
“From your point of view, did I make the right choice?”
That was the question my mentor asked.
“That question is meaningless. Though incorrect scripts exist in this world, there is no correct choice. If such a thing did exist, then the Altas Institute would have been saved long ago. Or perhaps the end has already come. I wonder which ending would be easier for us.”
Zepia ended that line there.
I blinked.
The sun had completely disappeared into the horizon. Under the cover of the sticky(TN:??) twilight, I thought I saw something appear on his lips.
“However, I must say… that was a choice that nobody else could make except you, Lord.”
“…Huh?”
I made an awkward sound.
Maybe.
But only maybe.
I was so ensnared by this thought that I didn’t even notice that Flat and Svin had returned.
In that moment, I thought that I saw the director of the Atlas Institute, someone so unnaturally emotionless that even a bit of anger felt like a computer having a bug, smile in a very human way.
*
The first thing that struck me upon returning to London was the noise.
The city was filled with all kinds of it, from the music blasting from radios and televisions to the voices of the people, the sound of car engines, the cries of children, and the noises produced by construction. All of it formed a harmony, becoming like some kind of band.
Though there was lots of sound in the countryside as well, the biggest difference was that most of that came from people. That was a type of music that only sounded because the people were alive and had gathered together like they were being melted in a crucible.
“……”
When I had first arrived in London, I thought that the rows of skyscrapers looked like gravestones. The people that surged into the desaturated buildings looked like a procession of the dead, headed toward the underworld.
Now, I didn’t think the same way.
Buildings were buildings, and graveyards were graveyards. No matter how many people gathered in the same place, that fact would not change. There was no need to try and interpret some kind of special meaning from that. Perhaps these thoughts might change again with time, but today, I didn’t hate that thought.
I finished everything that I had planned for the morning, and boarded the bus.
My destination was somewhere close to Slur Street, and after getting off, I walked towards the mansion that was not far from the station.
After less than ten minutes, I got there.
As instructed, I walked around the house and to the back garden, where I walked in from the back door after ringing the doorbell twice. I was already familiar with the place, and I didn’t need someone to guide me as I walked down the corridor. Even so, every time I took a step on the bright red carpet, I could feel my heartbeat speeding up. I suppose there was nothing I could do about that.
Reines was waiting for me in the parlor.
She saw what I was holding, and blinked several times in surprise.
“Gray, what’s that?”
“Um, I wanted to have some desserts with you. …Usually, Miss Reines is the only one who prepares them.”
I stood there stiffly, hugging the cheap paper bag that seemed so out of place in the elegantly decorated room. Though it was something that I had bought from the department store, I didn’t have an eye for delicious things at all. Now, I was finally realizing the importance of being experienced when buying things.
“Is it your treat?”
“Y-yes. My treat for, Miss Reines.”
Reines stared at me for a bit longer with a rare look of sincerity on her face. The atmosphere in the room suddenly became as if this was a blind date(TN: Not really blind date, more like… uh, the meeting between people where they ’see and assess the suitability of a prospective mate or son/daughter in law’).
However, seeing me stand there, struggling to hold the bag, she spoke.
“Trimmau, can you find some suitable tea?”
“Understood, ma’am.”
The mercury maid performed a perfect curtsy, and left the room.
She had some white ceramic plates placed onto the table, and I felt a sense of regret as I saw the chocolates that I had brought sitting on them. Just from the presentation alone, I could tell that they could not compare to what Reines usually prepared for us at all. After tasting a piece at her urging, I felt even more ashamed. Even my ears were burning. I felt as if I was a stupid clown. How did I decide that this was a good idea?
And then, Reines took a bite from a piece of chocolate in front of my eyes. Then, she widened her eyes in surprise. Because she was in her own house, her eyes were a shade of brilliant red, which made me feel even more sorry for her.
“…It’s good!”
“U-um, you don’t need to take my feelings into consideration.”
“No, I think it’s weird as well. It does taste incredibly normal. The temperature wasn’t controlled well, so the texture is strange, and the cacao beans used were of mediocre quality, so it’s lacking in flavor… but it really does taste good. Why?” The young woman tilted her head.
She sank into thought, savoring every taste. It didn’t look like she was lying. Then again, this wasn’t some important social gathering, and I wasn’t someone she needed to act polite towards.
I took another piece of chocolate, with the feeling that I had been lied to. From the second piece onward, I realized that it did taste surprisingly good. Though I couldn’t analyze the taste like Reines could, I could agree that yes, it was good.
“It’s because both of you are enjoying it at the same time. That is what Trimmau thinks.”
“That’s impossible! How could the taste of something change because of the people around you?” Reines replied, in a rare burst of excitement.
“Is something wrong?”
“Oh, no, nothing,” Reines’s said with a huff, and then pointed to my teacup. “Have some tea. Teatime is about both desserts and sweets.”
“S-sure.”
I did as she said and surprised myself again.
As soon as I drank the tea prepared by Trimmau, the originally mediocre chocolate began to melt in my mouth. Though it still wasn’t as exquisite as the desserts that Reines usually prepared, which were like they had been decorated with stars plucked out of the night sky, there was a very solid, calming taste there.
Together, we took more and more pieces of chocolate savoring this wonderful time.
Being able to enjoy desserts and tea together made me incredibly happy.
And then, after quietly listening to my account of what had happened at my hometown, Reines spoke.
“I see. Though I’ve also received a report, I never thought that it would be related to the Seven Superweapons of the Atlas Institute. Even for a Lord, those are way to many annoying things to just come across randomly… Though I want to write it off as one, it seems like the cases you two have been a part of aren’t just a coincidence. Yes, in a certain sense, the only coincidence was the initial meeting.”
“...?”
I didn’t quite understand what she was trying to get at, and I tilted my head. Seeing this, a wry smile appeared on Reines’ face.
“I’m talking about the initial meeting between you and my brother.”
She waved her pale fingers across the table, and brushed its edge. Those really were beautiful fingers, I thought, like those of a bisque doll, created to be beautiful. However, I knew how many obstacles she had to overcome and how heavy of a price she had to pay to get here.
“Of course, my brother needed someone who was good at dealing with Servants, but that’s not why you two met. …I suppose you could say that the same goes for Heartless.” At this, the young woman’s eyes narrowed. “My brother and Dr. Heartless have so many things in common that it’s uncanny. Perhaps it’s because they both were the head of the Department of Modern Magecraft(Norwich), but that doesn’t cause their ways of thinking to be the same. Perhaps I should say that their characteristics are complementary.”
“Complementary?”
“At least, I think so. Just like Flat and Svin. If they were in the right situation, they could build a mutually supportive relationship. However…”
“However?”
In response to my question, Reines picked up two pieces of chocolate and held one in each hand before smashing them together.
“Both might meet their destruction.”
These words made my heart rate accelerate. The fact that it came from Reines, who was one of the people who understood my mentor the most, made it even more convincing.
Reines put the two smashed pieces of chocolate into her mouth, and looked up at the ceiling, swinging her legs.
“Speaking of that, I’ve also come across something strange in my investigations.”
“Has something happened?”
“It was the new year recently, and there were a lot of banquets being held. I decided to look around a bit. I met with informants from all three factions, the Aristocratic Faction, the Democratic Faction, as well as the Neutral Faction… I found that there were too few rumors being mentioned about the Holy Grail War.”
“Rumors?”
Seeing me tilt my head in confusion, Reines nodded lightly.
“Yep. It is the war that caused the death of the previous Lord of the El-Melloi faction, after all, but other people still think that it’s an insignificant ritual in some remote place. For the Fifth Holy Grail War, the Clock Tower even sent a Sealing Designator to Fuyuki, but this information doesn’t seem to have gotten out there at all. The difference in how the information was distributed seems too unnatural.”
Within the young woman’s examinations, there hid the sensitivity that only someone who was used to the constant whirlwind of power struggles within the Clock Tower would have. Of course, my mentor had that ability as well, but he was different to Reines. In my opinion, I think that other than the amount of experience, it also had to do with the natural differences between the personalities of different people.
“There’s only one organization in the entire world of magecraft that can pull of something like that,” the young woman said, biting into a piece of almond chocolate and raising her index finger. “The Department of Law.”
The image of a mage that we had met many times up to this point appeared in my mind. The woman(person) that reminded me of a snake, who dressed in the clothing of the Far East.
Hishiri Adashino.
It wouldn’t be surprising for her to use any means to reach her goal. In the cases at Adra Castle and the Rail Zeppelin, she did not not give up even when faced with my mentor’s deductions. However, there was another reason why thinking of her made me swallow.
“Zepia also said something similar after that.”
“Oh? What did he say?” Reines said, leaning forward with interest.
I anxiously told her of the lines that the alchemist had calmly said to us. “Heartless might be your enemy, but that doesn’t make him the Clock Tower’s enemy… he said.”
I shivered, and an uncomfortable feeling piled up at the bottom of my heart.
The Clock Tower was not some kind of innocent and virtuous organization. It was a place affected by the desires of all sorts of people, corrupt to the core because of the complexity of the structure of power… In this sense, it was completely different from the Atlas Institute. It was impossible to tell ally from enemy.
If that was the case, it would only be natural to assume that [Heartless has allies within the Clock Tower.]
“I see. I’ll look into it. But if we’re dealing with the Department of Law here, it’s best not to keep your hopes up. …The Department of Law isn’t always united within itself, either.”
Reines closed one of her eyes, somewhat melancholily.
Even in a place where scheming was the order of the day, the Department of Law was different. For that reason, Reines was also limited in what she could do.
“Was that all Zepia talked about?”
Reines leaned forward until she was bent over the table like a mischievous cat. Her flame-colored eyes shone brightly. Many people, men and women alike, had probably felt the soul-capturing power of the charm that radiated from them.
“Y-yes.”
“Really? Was it?”
As Reines inched closer and closer to me, a loud, piercing voice sounded from the hook at my right shoulder.
“Ihihihihi! I woke up to a delicious meal, didn’t I?”
“Add!”
“Hahaha, to think that someone as insignificant as Gray would attend a girls’ meetup! You can count me in too! Even though boxes don’t have genders, that doesn’t matter here! If you’re planning on having a pajama party, don’t about me! It would be even better if you also invited some pretty girls who—”
I felt that he was asking for it by this point, so I took the birdcage off of the hook and gave it a shake. Though it made a loud cry that sounded like a large insect being smashed to death, I didn’t care at all. Who cared about it, anyway? It didn’t even consider how worried it had made me not long ago.
Reines clapped her hands happily, while Trimmau’s mercury face emotionlessly reflected the image of the howling box.
It was a very enjoyable time.
To the point where I was worried that I might have overdone it and berated Add too much, and ended up apologizing to it.
To the point where tears almost fell uncontrollably from my eyes.
Actually, Zepia had said one more thing.
However, I could not bring myself to tell it to Reines and Add.
*
—This was what he said.
It was after the fight with Logos ReAct.
Add had sank back into slumber, and Zepia had come to discuss something serious with me. My mentor, Flat, and Svin had also happened to be discussing their plans for the future, and they didn’t focus their attention on us.
“As thanks, let me give you a word of advice. It would be better if you didn’t use Rhongomyniad again.”
“…Huh?”
His advice came out of nowhere, and for a moment, I didn’t know how to react.
“W-why?”
“You used Rhongomyniad before while you were on the Rail Zeppelin, right? That is indeed a Noble Phantasm fitting for the end of a case. Even the Servants who play the main roles must succumb in the face of its power. However, you should be glad that you did not release the Seal of Thirteen completely. Otherwise, Add would have undoubtedly been broken.”
“…Ah.”
That reminded me.
Add had been sleeping more ever since the case at the Rail Zeppelin. Was that because it needed to repair itself?
“It’s a very intricate Mystic Code, and can repair itself to a certain extent. However, that would be too much. Though incomplete, the burden of unleashing the full power of the lance should not be underestimated. I don’t blame you, though. This was a problem even for the original one.”
“The original?”
“You haven’t noticed? There were restrictions put on Add’s memory, but it became very obvious once the mental model of Sir Kay appeared from it. It even successfully created a pseudo-Noble Phantasm, though that’s a feat that was only possible in an imaginary space within the original.”
After a pause, the alchemist of the Atlas Institute made an announcement.
“The core of Add is actually Logos ReAct Replica.”
*
The words of the Alchemist were stuck in my heart, like a thorn that I could not remove. Perhaps my mentor had already noticed it as well. Just like Zepia said, that was a truth that could be reached by stacking a few deductions together. With my mentor’s capabilities, it would be more unnatural if he hadn’t noticed.
…However.
What about the possibility that Add would break?
There were not many situations where I needed to unleash Rhongomyniad. However, if we continued to be involved with Heartless, I couldn’t be certain that such a situation would not come up. The Holy Grail War also came up multiple times, and I could not ensure that nothing problematic would come up.
If the life of my mentor or Reines was in danger, would I use Rhongomyniad again?
This question swirled around my mind. If was the first time that I had been so fixated on something in my life.
The next morning, I left my dorm room and headed out towards Druid Street.
There was still a chill in the air(TN: Well what do you expect? It’s January), and each breath brought with it a cloud of white. Even if I told everyone in London about how we were experiencing summer a few days ago, nobody would believe us.
The classes at the El-Melloi Classroom had not resumed yet. That was because my mentor, the most important person there, had not returned yet. Though the classes were being taught by all of the other highly skilled teachers of the Department of Modern Magecraft under the lead of Shardan, something felt missing from the classroom.
I stepped off of Druid Street, and into a side road shrouded by a Bounded Field.
This apartment(flat) would sometimes have an unwelcome guest in the form of Yvette, and the other students had often patrolled the area to keep her out. That resulted in the place turning into a dueling arena, before my mentor had chased them all away… I had witnessed all of this not long ago.
I walked up the spiral staircase and knocked on the door a few times before just pushing it open. The door wasn’t locked, and as soon as walked into the foyer, I could see that incredibly messy room. There were books, documents, clothes, cigarettes, and bottles of what resembled medicine scattered all over the room, along with a few bottles of alcohol, cans, and other miscellaneous items, creating a kind of chaos unlike any other.
I couldn’t help but smile a wry smile when I saw that familiar figure inside the room.
Perhaps he was a bit too relaxed, I thought. My mentor was reclined on the sofa, with his back to a replica of a painting depicting the cutting of the Gordian knot. To be exact, it was more like he was laying on top of the sofa. He was concentratedly gripping onto the game controller in his hands.
“Sir, I’ve bought the snacks and drinks that you asked for.”
“Thanks, just put them over there,” my mentor said with a cigarette in his mouth as he stared unblinkingly at the LCD screen.
He had a slight stubble on his chin. He had probably played through the entire night. He said that he was staying home to rest up and recover, and I didn’t expect that he would end up using it all to game.
No. I take back what I just said. I had long since anticipated that this would happen. It was my mentor, after all.
I sighed.
“Can I at least help you comb your hair?”
“Do whatever you want to,” my mentor said, not shifting his gaze from his screen.
Seeing him stare that intently, I started to worry somewhat about his eyes, but there was probably a way to fix that with magecraft. If that time really came, he’d probably grumble for an entire week about the bill that had one more digit than one from a regular doctor.
Either way, I asked him to sit in a position that made it easier for me to comb his hair and gently picked up a strand of hair. I took out a comb and started brushing it for him.
Though he lived so carelessly, there were hardly any split ends. Was this because of some kind of magecraft? Though I knew that he had grown out his hair for the sake of magecraft, I remembered him mocking himself once by saying that there wasn’t much of a risk or much of a reward for a male mage to do this. It was very much in my mentor’s style to criticize himself while still continuing to do something, though.
The game that he was playing now seemed like an RPG, and every time the red-haired, armored protagonist swung a sword, monsters fell with fancy-looking effects. My mentor had played all sorts of games, but he seemed to like Japanese-style RPGs the most.
“…Can I ask you something?” I asked.
“As long as you don’t mind me answering while I play.”
Hearing this careless answer made me happy for some reason. Only a little bit, though.
I eyed the things that were on the table.
“Did Mr. Melvin bring these?”
“Yes. He came over the day we arrived back in London and forced me to accept a bunch of magecraft medicines, canned food, and wine. I happened to be hungry, so I took it.”
“I see.”
Half were necessities, and half were non-essential. It looked like something that Melvin would do. He understood how my mentor would temporarily accept things if he needed it. However, he would probably carefully catalogue everything that my mentor took and add it all to the list of favors that my mentor needed to repay. That self-proclaimed best friend of best friends was generous, yet counted his debts like a devil at the same time.
However.
The fact that he was concerned and came to visit my mentor at a time like this made me happy.
This case had been far too exhausting.
Though we had solved it, we had both returned with scars. Even if they were invisible to the eye, they could affect our will to go on.
This was the first time that nobody had died. The fact that we had successfully saved my mother and Father Fernando should have made me happy and satisfied, but only a sticky feeling of fatigue remained in me.
Perhaps this was because I felt that [this was not over.]
The case was not over yet. We had not gotten to the most crucial part.
For a time, there was only the sound of the game, breathing, and the comb softly swishing across hair.
Then, my mentor suddenly spoke.
“…I shouldn’t have asked that question.”
He didn’t have to elaborate for me to know what he was talking about.
It was the question he had asked Zepia whether he had made the correct choice.
“I thought that I had grown at least a little bit, but I haven’t changed at all. I’m still as immature as I used to be. It really is hard for people to change.”
“You said something similar when we first met.”
I recalled what he had said.
—“I haven’t grown at all. Nothing has changed since then. I haven’t gotten even a single step closer to the person I wanted to be.”
I had felt the blood that seeped from those words.
It was probably because of this that I had chosen to follow my mentor. I had thought that even if this person would not give me the correct answer, we could suffer together.
I was not wrong.
However, I never thought that we would end up suffering like this.
“I’m even less mature than you are, so I always want to shout that I want someone to tell me that what I did was right.”
“Both of us are lazy then, aren’t we?”
“Perhaps.”
I slowed down the brushing of his hair and nodded.
A brief silence settled upon the room again. The hero in the game was running furiously. It seemed as if the end was approaching. The wizard had already learned many pages full of spells. I couldn’t help but feel a sense of irony seeing my mentor control a character that used magic.
“There’s something I want to tell you first,” my mentor muttered, still staring at the screen. “Cherish your friends. Even if it’s become an untenable situation, you don’t need to pay some sort of strange price for me. I’m already resigned to my fate of having to rely on the protection of my students, but if I’m bringing my students any necessary suffering, I might as well go die.”
“……”
…He saw straight through me.
Add was still asleep, and did not interrupt.
My mentor continued gaming with a face so expressionless he looked like he hated life. Had he already figured out what I was troubled about, or did he just not care? Or was he just as troubled by it as I was?
“…Alright.” I nodded. Suddenly, a mischievous thought arose in my mind. “That’s not fair, Sir. (TN: I don’t understand what ズルい translates to in this context so that’s going to have to do)”
“Oh. Um, really?”
“Yes. You keep asking things of other people, but you’re always making sacrifices. That’s way too irresponsible.”
“…I’m sorry.”
He hung his head and apologized sincerely.
“I forgive you. But you have to answer my question.”
“What question?” He asked.
I continued to comb his hair as I quietly adjusted my breathing.
I had wanted to ask about this for the past couple of days. I hurriedly organized my thoughts into something coherent, and spoke.
“You said something during the Second Cycle about how you didn’t have the courage to meet a version of me that didn’t know you.”
“You still remember that,” my mentor said with a frown.
It seemed like he was reluctant to think about what he said then.
Actually, I felt embarrassed about it as well. If my mentor had not recognized me, I was sure that I would have had a breakdown on the spot. Perhaps I would have even physically fallen apart.
However, I needed to know the answer to this question, no matter what it took
“Then, do you have the courage to meet a version of you king that doesn’t know who you are?”
“……”
He didn’t respond immediately.
“You’ve probably already made mental preparations for that, right? You said something on the Rail Zeppelin about how you wouldn’t be able to repay the happiness of having those memories, even if you spent your entire life. But does being prepared mean that you have the courage to do something like that? What does a person have to do to gain that kind of courage?”
I needed courage too, I thought, so I could go and meet my mother again before I figured out exactly what I had to say. So I wouldn’t have to wait for Add and Reines to notice what was on my mind, and could tell them the truth. So I could tell everyone around me that if they were not there, I would be too scared to even fall asleep. What should I do to find that kind of bravery?
For a moment, there was only the sound of the clacking of keys.
I would wait. Though I didn’t think of myself as a patient person, sometimes, I could wait for something, no matter how long it took.
Finally,
“Since I’ve given up on taking part in the Fifth Holy Grail War, I won’t get to meet him again anyway.”
With those words as an opening statement, he held onto the cigarette with his fingers.
Gray smoke drifted up toward the ceiling. As it did, my mentor spoke in a low voice.
“But… I’ve still thought about what I’d say to him if some kind of miracle did happen. So no, I don’t have the courage to do that,” he said with a slight smile. “However, if a day like that really came, regardless of whether I have the courage to or not… I hope I can be someone who can walk up even though I’ll say the wrong thing. …That’s all I have to say.”
His somewhat embarrassed expression was reflected in my heart.
The overly sincere look in his eyes even made me feel troubled.
Everything from Add’s true form to the Clock Tower and Heartless seemed distant in that moment, and all my attention was focused on the comb in my hands.
I knew very well that this time would not last.
Because both my mentor and I knew that, just like the Holy Grail War, this series of events centered around the Clock Tower was about to reach its final act.
-End of Epilogue of Book 7-
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Originally Posted by Reign
