This doesn't even make much sense at all - and I'm not even going to go into your poorly-summarized history of the man's life and history yet!
You're putting a huge amount of emphasis on Caesar's role as Flamen Dialis (one of several) and later his role as Pontifex Maximus. Caesar's only real interest in the gods was in his ability to make people think of him as divinely blessed, because Romans were a pretty superstitious bunch to say the least. He did things like deliberately rig auguries and regularly take the piss out of prophecies; as an example, there was a common belief that a Scipio could never be defeated in Africa - and so Caesar, while off in Africa, brought an unassuming, underwhelming member of that family along with his entourage just to go along with it. It wouldn't go so far as to say Caesar was completely cynical about religion, but to say he was a devout and faithful man is completely misinterpreting his use of religion as a political tool.
In light of religion, the simple reason why Caesar is given a good nod in Christianity is because he lived and died before Jesus came along. "Virtuous pagans," as they're called, were tenuously accepted as decent people in medieval Christianity, as they never had any opportunity to follow the teachings of Jesus. There are few - if any - similarly respected pagans who lived post-Jesus in medieval sources.
As for getting into the nitty-gritty of the sheet, I'm not sure why you included Riding with such a low rank. Caesar was noted as being absolutely phenomenal as a horse rider, though when on the march he did prefer to walk along with his men rather than stay atop a mount. It's interesting that his equestrian abilities are so praised by the ancient historians; Rome wasn't a society in which being able to ride a horse well was seen as particularly greater than oratory or any traditionally "noble" skills and vocations.
Item Construction and Territory Creation seem well out of place; Caesar wasn't much of a builder, besides the very clever military constructions he crafted - like his bridges over the Rhine, and his encampment at Alesia. That, though, wouldn't really fall under Item Construction or Territory Creation or anything of the sort. TC especially is weird, since Caesar went about all over the place, and didn't often stay in the same area for a very long time if he didn't have to.
Charisma at only C+ is weird, but I'll get to that later.
As for Shamanism and the Veni, Vidi, Vici NP, refer to my above paragraph about Caesar and Roman religion. It really, really doesn't make any sense for him to be in any way portrayed as a "holy man" of a sort.
Now, to get into more about your "history" references and the general character of Gaius Julius Caesar.
More than anything else - more than a renowned military commander, more than a brilliant orator, and more than a notorious playboy - Caesar was a political genius. Everything he did in life was directed towards increasing his personal power in Roman high society, and so he became a political machine with no equal. In 60 BC he was fairly unknown, noted as a rising star at best, but Rome had seen many of those come and go. What was one the minds of most Romans in that time was Sulla, and by extension Gaius Marius. Marius was an absolute legend, a true man of the people with unmatched popularity and military skill. He was the archetypal "people's general" that was becoming worryingly common in those days, and he was Caesar's uncle (his beloved mother's husband). This is the reason why he was targeted by Sulla, who had recently exiled Marius and - as effective dictator of Rome - wanted to excise all potential supporters that the general still had. However, Caesar stood up to Sulla, and surprisingly was allowed to go free.
Caesar was stripped of his priesthood, of course, by Sulla - that much you got right - but Caesar never went on a "quest" to restore himself to any religious office. His entry into the office of Pontifex Maximus was purely for political gain and notoriety; he was previously a fairly unremarkable tribune and quaestor. This almost backfired on him, as he soon became embroiled in the Catiline conspiracy and could very well have been thrown in with Catiline and his lot and lost all that he'd gained. Losing the title of Flamen Dialis was actually a blessing for Caesar, as that office would have completely barred him from being a governor or a military commander, two of the things that raised him up to power.
In the Triumvirate, Caesar was certainly not the political influence of the three - he was nothing, really, other than a good diplomat who had an aptitude for convincing people. The important members of the Triumvirate were Crassus and Pompey, the ones with the real power. Crassus, of course, was the very richest man in Rome, likely the richest in the history of the entire state. Pompey, on the other hand, was completely remarkable and profoundly popular. Not much attention is paid to old Pompey; certainly not as much as he deserves. He had popular support, and a reputation as a fierce and successful commander of men. He was willing to push the envelope in political issues, nearly to the point where it seemed that he was going to take over Rome as another dictator - something his "mentor," Sulla, infamously did. One of his greatest acts was to rid the whole Mediterranean of piracy, taking control of the entire Roman feat - again, quite the controversy - but the results he claimed were so spectacular that he was accepted, rather than rejected as Sulla was.
The whole invasion of Gaul was a political tool like none other. It was this campaign which made Caesar famous in Rome, a true celebrity in his time, and greatly divided opinions about him amongst the upper class. He had many supporters, and also many enemies - but all the while he kept up his keen eye for the political situation all around. He addressed not only forces back home in Rome, but also the tribes of Hispania, Gaul, and the Germans beyond the Rhine. It was a political show through and through, and more or less was a resounding triumph for him.
Last of all, Caesar's death may not have even been due to hubris. It probably wasn't, really; he remained a fairly humble and popular ruler during his dictatorship, and the famous assassination was hardly the only one of its kind plotted against him, being only one of many others before it. It's very likely that he knew that his death was going to come soon, which would explain his abrupt change of his own will, favouring Octavian and granting his wealth to the people of Rome. Throughout his life he knew what he was doing, and it just seems unlikely that in the end he'd lose track of all of that, considering how well put together everything was. In death, he didn't really lose anything that he had strived for or accomplished, and his successor ended up being one of the greatest leaders and administrators in all history.
In short, your portrayal of Caesar is bizarre and uninformed and doesn't even fit within the realm of a creative reinterpretation. It's just plain wrong, is what it is.
If you want to learn more about Caesar, in great detail and with great accuracy, I recommend reading Caesar: Life of a Colossus by Adrian Goldsworthy. It's an excellent, enjoyable read, and the most thorough biography of Caesar that you could ever ask for. It's also not that hard to find, either.
<NEW FIC!>Revolution #9: Somewhere out there, there's a universe in which your mistakes and failures never happened, and all you wished for is true. How hard would you fight to make that real?
[11:20:46 AM] GlowStiks: lucina is supes attractive
[12:40] Lace: lucina is amazing
[12:40] Neir: lucina is pretty much flawless
<NEW FIC!>Revolution #9: Somewhere out there, there's a universe in which your mistakes and failures never happened, and all you wished for is true. How hard would you fight to make that real?
[11:20:46 AM] GlowStiks: lucina is supes attractive
[12:40] Lace: lucina is amazing
[12:40] Neir: lucina is pretty much flawless
Hey! I only get mad at people if they get things vastly wrong. At least I'm not Seika.
<NEW FIC!>Revolution #9: Somewhere out there, there's a universe in which your mistakes and failures never happened, and all you wished for is true. How hard would you fight to make that real?
[11:20:46 AM] GlowStiks: lucina is supes attractive
[12:40] Lace: lucina is amazing
[12:40] Neir: lucina is pretty much flawless
Joking aside, I ditched Scipio because I only have a foggy recollection of his history and feats. I had a professor who went on about what a terrifying hardass Scipio was, but that was years ago.
His profile probably would have come out looking like Temujin's inasmuch as anyone with a real, commanding knowledge of his exploits would be baffled.
The only thing I really remember about it was that he had a Noble Phantasm based on the story of salting the earth of Carthage after he crushed it, summoning a warship that emanated an entropic aura that would destroy cities and make the area inhospitable to life for generations if it got up to full power.
Last edited by Imperial; December 4th, 2014 at 11:19 PM.
This one's a stretch, but I was reminded too much of Galvarino when I read these stories, soo...
Class: Berserker Identity: ???, The Armless Maiden
An existence from fairy tales brought to life from many different variations, Berserker was the last of a Russian magus family whose
magical power had finally dwindled out. There are two main versions of her tale that have created the Servant that stands before you.
Version #1
Orphaned at an early age, she and her brother tried to find a way in the world. Though kind, she was beset by wickedness and
contention by her brother's wife. After building a shop for him and his wife, her brother told his sister to keep their old
house. The wife was offended, broke all the furniture, and blamed the sister. The brother said they could buy more. The wife
killed his favorite horse and blamed the sister. The brother said the dogs could eat it. Finally, the wife gave birth, cut off
the baby's head, and blamed the sister.
The brother took his sister and drove the carriage into a bramble. He told his sister to help him disentangle themselves.
When she started, he cut off both her arms at the elbow and drove off. The sister wept but found her way through the forest
to a merchant town. There a merchant's only son fell madly in love with her and married her. After two years, he went on a journey,
but told his parents to send him word as soon as his child was born. His wife gave birth to a boy whose arms were gold to his elbows.
His grandparents wrote to their son, but the wicked sister-in-law had heard and invited the messenger to her house. There, she tore
the letter to pieces and replaced it with one saying his wife had given birth to a baby half wolf and half bear. This grieved the
merchant's son, but he wrote back that the baby was not to be molested until he returned. The sister-in-law invited the messenger
in again, and substituted a letter saying that his wife should be driven out at once. His parents tied the baby to her breast and sent her away.
She went away and tried to drink from a well, and her baby fell into the water. She wept and tried to think how she could get
the baby out. An angel told her to reach for the baby, despite having no arms; she did so, and her arms were restored in golden form like her son
and she reached her baby. She thanked God and went on, coming to a house where her brother and husband were staying. Her sister-in-law
tried to keep her out as a beggar woman, but her husband said she could tell stories. She told her own, and they unwrapped the
baby and saw she had told the truth. Her brother tied his wife to the tail of a mare; it returned with only her braid, the rest
strewn over the field. They harnessed the horses and lived together, their familial bonds restored.
Version #2
A miller was offered wealth by the devil if the miller gave him what stood behind his mill. Thinking that it was an apple tree,
the miller agreed, but it was revealed he had offered his daughter. When three years had passed, the devil appeared, but the
girl had kept herself sinless and her hands clean, and the devil was unable to take her. The devil threatened to take the father
if he did not chop off the girl's hands, and she let him do so, but she wept on her arms' stumps, and they were so clean that
the devil could not take her, so he had to give her up.
She set out into the world, despite her father's new wealth. She saw a royal garden and tried to eat some pears she saw there.
An angel helped her, and the gardener told the king how she appeared. The king awaited her the next day and, when she came again,
married her and made her hands out of enchanted silver.
She gave birth to a son, and his mother sent news to the king, who had gone off to battle, but the messenger stopped along the way,
and the devil got at the letter, changing it to say that she had given birth to a changeling. The king sent back that they should
care for the child nonetheless, but the devil got at that letter too, and once again changed it, saying that they should kill the
queen and the child and keep the queen's heart as proof.
The king's servants despaired, and, to produce the heart, killed a hind and sent the queen and her son out into the world to hide.
The queen went into a forest, and an angel brought her to a hut, and helped her nurse her son. The king returned to his castle, and
they discovered the letters had been tampered with. The king set out to find his wife and child. After seven years, he found a
hut, and lay down to sleep with a handkerchief to cover his face. His wife came out, and when the handkerchief fell, directed her
son to put it back on. The child grew angry, since he had been told that the Father in Heaven was man's true father, but no one on
earth. The king got up to ask who they were, and she told him. He said that his wife had silver hands, but she had natural ones,
to which she replied that God had given them back to her. Then she went to retrieve her silver hands that had fallen off and
returned to show the king.
Appearance
STR: C
END: D
AGI: D
MGI: E
LCK: C
Class Skills
Madness Enhancement (C): Rank up to all physical parameters, but cannot think or speak properly.
Personal Skills
Information Erasure (C): Distorts the memories of all witnesses involved in battle so that they cannot accurately recall
Berserker's true name or appearance. Berserker gains this skill due to being unnamed in a tale that has many different variations.
Noble Phantasm
Gleaming Hands: The Maid Restored (C+, Anti-Unit)
Berserker's legend has many different variations, but all involve her having her hands restored, either by God or by
magical prosthetics. Regardless, her new arms were made of a precious metal such as gold or silver; a good conductor of prana.
Though she has poor, undeveloped magic circuits, this Noble Phantasm therefore makes her body an excellent conductor of prana.
When activated, streams of prana erupt from the stumps of her arms and become incredibly dense and solid. While the clumps of
prana can assume any shape, the limited reasoning of the Berserker class causes them to take the form of bludgeoning weapons.
Because her arms were restored by divine kindness and were made of precious metals, the "arms" gain the properties "Good",
"Gold" and "Silver", granting them a bonus against those of Evil alignment and the undead.
Last edited by Funderfullness; December 5th, 2014 at 12:25 AM.
"We don't need martyrs right now. We need heroes. A hero would die for his country, but he'd much rather live for it." -Josiah Bartlet
The only thing I really remember about it was that he had a Noble Phantasm based on the story of salting the earth of Carthage after he crushed it, summoning a warship that emanated an entropic aura that would destroy cities and make the area inhospitable to life for generations if it got up to full power.
It's important to remember that Scipio Africanus (the famous one who fought Hannibal) wasn't the one who salted Carthage and all that fun; that was his grandson, Scipio Aemilianus, who went ahead and did that. S. Africanus was pretty lenient towards Carthage, by Roman standards.
<NEW FIC!>Revolution #9: Somewhere out there, there's a universe in which your mistakes and failures never happened, and all you wished for is true. How hard would you fight to make that real?
[11:20:46 AM] GlowStiks: lucina is supes attractive
[12:40] Lace: lucina is amazing
[12:40] Neir: lucina is pretty much flawless
Ah, nerd rage. I almost wrote such a wall of text for this Sun Wukong profile... but after raging for a few minutes I started to feel silly.
But basically because
1) He's non-human and doesn't qualify as a Heroic Spirit
2) He is ridiculously OP (like, Mahābhārata-scale except winning the whole war on his own power), the sheet doesn't cover half his abilities and history
3) It's inaccurate
4) He's not even from mythology. 西遊記 is old but everyone knows it was just a popular novel. (although iirc the journey itself was historical so Xuanzhang could qualify)
Last edited by mewarmo990; December 5th, 2014 at 05:09 AM.
4) He's not even from mythology. 西遊記 is old but everyone knows it was just a popular novel. (although iirc the journey itself was historical so Xuanzhang could qualify)
4) He's not even from mythology. 西遊記 is old but everyone knows it was just a popular novel. (although iirc the journey itself was historical so Xuanzhang could qualify)
Presumably people know that about King Arthur too, and yet here we are.
Presumably people know that about King Arthur too, and yet here we are.
King Arthur is legendary. He most likely did not exist, but the possibility of some loose historical basis is not completely ruled out.
I would say Sun Wukong is easily popular enough to have reached the level of popular folklore, but there are clear historical records showing that he was made up. Part of a fantasy story built up around records of an actual pilgrimage, though all of the crazy stuff in the monkey's background has nothing to do with the journey itself.
Last edited by mewarmo990; December 5th, 2014 at 06:52 AM.
Originally Posted by Master of Chaos
mfw
