Create-A-Servant 2

[Bird of Hermes]

I saw that on the other thread but I didn't really understand. What is that a mistranslation of?

Ulster.

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Well i lost that sniper battle.

[Magikewl]

The fact that they couldn't be bothered to type アルスター into google isn't really reassuring.

[RoydGolden]

Ulster.

...Yeah, that's really egregious. Not even going to try to defend that.

'Hunter of the unrivaled Ulster' also comes off as awkward (the 'unrivaled' would make more sense at the beginning) but, not knowing Japanese, I can't say for sure what a 'correct' translation would look like.

[Ail Don]

Ulster's hardly unrivaled either :^)

[Arashi_Leonhart]

...Yeah, that's really egregious. Not even going to try to defend that.

'Hunter of the unrivaled Ulster' also comes off as awkward (the 'unrivaled' would make more sense at the beginning) but, not knowing Japanese, I can't say for sure what a 'correct' translation would look like.

That's not the problem. The problem is if they can't be arsed to realize one thing that isn't even a Type Moon lore issue but is, in fact, one of the first things you're going to get when you wikipedia Cu, then you can bet that actual lore is going to be translated as fuck all because they don't know what's being talked about.

[Bird of Hermes]

...Yeah, that's really egregious. Not even going to try to defend that.

'Hunter of the unrivaled Ulster' also comes off as awkward (the 'unrivaled' would make more sense at the beginning) but, not knowing Japanese, I can't say for sure what a 'correct' translation would look like.

Just a guess but it was probably 'Unrivalled Hunter of Ulster' or along those lines.

Still have my fingers crossed that trailers don't represent the final product in that regard.

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And another sniper battle lost

[RoydGolden]

That's not the problem. The problem is if they can't be arsed to realize one thing that isn't even a Type Moon lore issue but is, in fact, one of the first things you're going to get when you wikipedia Cu, then you can bet that actual lore is going to be translated as fuck all because they don't know what's being talked about.

As I said, it is really egregious. 'Can't say for sure' was referring to the other word placement issue, while the 'Alastar' thing is simply idiotic and inexcusable.

As Hermes said, I can only hope and pray that there's more Beta revisions between that and the released version.

[Mcjon01]

'Hunter of the unrivaled Ulster' also comes off as awkward (the 'unrivaled' would make more sense at the beginning)

Well, yes, that's part of why Mewarmo keeps saying that writing Ulster as Alastar/Alaster isn't even the worst of it.

[mewarmo990]

アルスター無類の猟兵

Xseed: Hunter of the Unrivaled Alastar

actual: Unrivaled Hunter of Ulster

one time might just be a typo but this isn't the only time they've made this mistake

I honestly hope the game itself will not be touched by whoever worked on the trailers and turn out okay, because correcting people constantly is actually not fun.

[Ail Don]

Anyway, here's Wonderwall.

Source: http://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.p...st_id=55493541
Class: Lancer
Alignment:
Origin: ???
Region: Persia

Parameters
Strength: B
Endurance: B
Agility: A
Mana: D
Luck: C
NP: A


Height/Weight: 185cm/80kg
Gender: Male
Likes: Poetry
Dislikes: Being cheated, apples
Talents: ???
Natural enemy: Brian
Attribute: Man
Traits: ???
Armament: Light armor, one spear


Class Skills:


Magic Resistance: (C)
Magic Resistance grants protection against magical effects. Differently from the Resistance effect that merely rejects Magical Energy, this ability cancels the spells altogether.
Cancel spells with a chant below two verses. Cannot defend against Magecraft on the level of High-Thaumaturgy and Greater Rituals.


Personal Skills:


Origin Unknown: (A+)
A skill bestowed upon Heroic Spirits whose authenticity and point of origin are obscure or unknown. Might also be applied to a Servant whose history has been conflated with another, more popular hero, or one whose true name was remembered incorrectly until they became synonymous with the false address.
At this rank, Lancer is immune to any identity-revealing skills or magecraft like True Name Discernment below the listed rank.

Golden Rule: (A)
Golden Rule measures one's fortune to acquire wealth.
Lancer was king of the empire that controlled the largest fraction of the world's population of any empire in history. Based on historical demographic estimates, Lancer ruled over approximately 50 million people, or at least 44% of the world's population.
In addition to the vast amount of wealth he already owned, Lancer also reformed and revolutionized the tax system of his time by introducing a global currency.
At this rank, money problems are completely unknown.

Paranoia: (B)
A sort of enhancing mental pollution. Those with Paranoia are more likely to suspect an attack where there isn't one, making surprise movements much more difficult and necessitating secondary Luck checks if one intended to make one against Lancer. The third option to Eye of the Mind, irritability grows with rank.
An unpopular king who was forced to quell revolts his entire reign and feared treachery from his subordinates near-constantly, Lancer has become more than proficient in the art of subjugation at the loss of being able to act on equal terms with his Master without complete and utter transparency.

Noble Phantasm

Areadbhar
Slaughterer


Type: Anti-Army
Rank: A++
Range: ???
Max Target: A lot


"It is little any spear looks to Pisear;
the battle of enemies are broken,
it is not too much for Pisear to
wound every one of them.

"A yew, the most beautiful of the wood,
it is called a king, it is not bulky.
May the spear drive on the whole crowd
to their wounds of death."


The terrible spear of Lugh that he required along with other sacred relics in order to defeat the Fomori once and all, which initially belonged to Lancer.
The spear did not need to be physically wielded by Lancer, it was alive and naturally thirsted for blood. The tip of the spear was normally dipped into a sleeping potion to keep it docile, but during battle it was unleashed and tore through the enemy ranks on its own.


Perhaps unique among Servants, Lancer is deep down legitimately unnerved by his own Noble Phantasm. Refusing to even summon it in the presence of an inferior mage who can't provide the necessary weavings to continue Areadbhar's slumber or without a clear and deep water source present. Ironically, it isn't the destructive power Lancer fears as much as it is the demon he believes possesses it, justifying its autonomous movement and constant thirst for blood.


The spiritual father of the Luin of Celtchar, the King of Spears is highly toxic and bursts into flames when activated. Should Lancer release his hold on it, Areadbhar will dart out of his hand directly into the nearest target, flames blazing. The spear will continue skewering anything in its path as it traverses a geometric circle pattern. Because of its speed and the magical nature of the flames that are constantly consuming oxygen, a vacuum effect is created at the epicenter of the spear's designated range. If allowed to grow unchecked, spaghettification and a true event horizon may occur.
Areadbhar may cease naturally once all life has been destroyed in its nexus of activity, or be put back to sleep if called to Lancer and quickly plunged into water or put to sleep with magecraft.

Lore

Lancer's true identity is Pisear, king of Persia. Mentioned in The Fate of the Children of Tuireann as the original owner of Lugh's terrible spear, Pisear refused the spear to Brian until he knocked his head off with an apple. He is never mentioned again.


But historically, there has never been a king of Persia by the name of Pisear. Through research of the times and of the name "Pisear" itself, it is most likely a bastardization of the Persian word Pasargadae, which was the capital of Persia under Cyrus the Great. But it also carries several other meanings. Pasargadae is also the name of the "most noble" tribe of Persia, according to Herodotus: "Now the Persian nation is made up of many tribes. Those which Cyrus assembled and persuaded to revolt from the Medes were the principal ones on which all the others are dependent. These are the Pasargadae, the Maraphians, and the Maspians, of whom the Pasargadae are the noblest. The Achaemenidae, from which spring all the Perseid kings, is one of their clans. The rest of the Persian tribes are the following: the Panthialaeans, the Derusiaeans, the Germanians, who are engaged in husbandry; the Daans, the Mardians, the Dropicans, and the Sagartians, who are nomads."
But the name of a capital and the name of a tribe can't also be the name of an individual person (in theory). Who is Pisear, then, if not Cyrus himself?


Lancer's true identity is most likely that of Darius I, the spear-carrier for Cambyses II and subsequent king of Persia after his suicide. A deliberate obfuscation of the summoning ritual and Darius' legend in order to guarantee he's equipped with Areadhbar, a form of knockoff Presence Concealment is also gained at the possible expense of skills the true Darius might have possessed.


Darius ascended the throne by overthrowing Gaumata, the alleged magus usurper of Bardiya with the assistance of six other Persian noble families; Darius was crowned the following morning. The new king met with rebellions throughout his kingdom and quelled them each time. A major event in Darius's life was his expedition to punish Athens and Eretria for their aid in the Ionian Revolt, and subjugate Greece. Although ultimately ending in failure at the Battle of Marathon, Darius succeeded in the re-subjugation of Thrace, expansion of the empire through the conquest of Macedon, the Cyclades, and the island of Naxos, and the sacking of the city of Eretria.


Darius organized the empire by dividing it into provinces and placing satraps to govern it. He organized a new uniform monetary system, along with making Aramaic the official language of the empire. He also put the empire in better standing by building roads and introducing standard weights and measures. Through these changes the empire was centralized and unified. Darius also worked on construction projects throughout the empire, focusing on Susa, Pasargadae, Persepolis, Babylon and Egypt. He had the cliff-face Behistun Inscription carved to record his conquests, an important testimony of the Old Persian language.


Darius is mentioned in the Biblical books of Haggai, Zechariah, and Ezra–Nehemiah.


The Achaemenid Empire during Darius' reign controlled the largest fraction of the world's population of any empire in history. Based on historical demographic estimates, Darius I ruled over approximately 50 million people, or at least 44% of the world's population.

Personality

A king who intends to be treated as such, Lancer is remembered as both a dynamic ruler of strong personality as well as grudge-bearing tyrant who crushed any Greek opposition ruthlessly. There's an intelligence belying his thorny exterior, but good luck getting past it. Will behave much more like a stereotypical delinquent around people he believes he can respect, though they be few and far between.

Tactics

Usage of Areadbhar should be strictly limited, a sentiment that will be further enforced by Lancer himself. The magus will most likely have to be a more active participant than the Masters of other similar Knight Classes in the past. Giving Lancer a normal stick like Prototype Cu Chulainn is the only way to make him a moderate offensive threat without causing armageddon should the magus be lacking in Bounded Field knowledge.

[Mcjon01]

アルスター無類の猟犬

Xseed: Hunter of the Unrivaled Alastar

actual: Unrivaled Hound of Ulster

one time might just be a typo but this isn't the only time they've made this mistake

I honestly hope the game itself will not be touched by whoever worked on the trailers and turn out okay, because correcting people constantly is actually not fun.

It's アルスター無類の猟兵 though

[mewarmo990]

poor Tamadra ;_;

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It's アルスター無類の猟兵 though

oh

lol

[RoydGolden]

Extella lore aside, I think the idea of Aetius as specifically created to counter Altera is a quite promising one. I imagine he'd be overall defensively aligned with an NP based around 'protecting civilization'. I may actually start writing him up in the next week or so, since I have a pretty good idea as to what his NPs would be at this point.

Fair warning though; he'll likely be wanked as all heck.

[Historia]

Instead of telling us just do the sheet and post it.

[RoydGolden]

Instead of telling us just do the sheet and post it.

Jeez, don't be so impatient.

Creativity can't be rushed.

[Arashi_Leonhart]

I don't think that's impatience.

It's pointing out to show, don't tell.

[4score7years]

Anyway, here's Wonderwall.
Servant Darius I

Interesting. Lore stuff in particular. How much of that stuff about Pisear is true? How did you find out about it? The stuff with Origin Unknown is also pretty cool. lol at Areadbhar's max target of "a lot." As for Areadbhar itself, it's pretty cool. I like the idea of the spear being "alive", as is the idea that Lancer is afraid to use it. Clarifying question for that, though: Can he turn it off? Or is it a one-and-done activation? How exactly does the mechanic work? Overall though pretty nice work mate.

[Master of Chaos]

Just taken a look at it and they are really similar. Maybe I looked at it ages ago and subconsciously drew from it or something.

If you feel strongly about it, I don't mind just deleting it altogether.

Nah, I'm cool. Just thinking that it was a pretty weird coincidence, that's all.

[Ail Don]

Interesting. Lore stuff in particular. How much of that stuff about Pisear is true? How did you find out about it? The stuff with Origin Unknown is also pretty cool. lol at Areadbhar's max target of "a lot." As for Areadbhar itself, it's pretty cool. I like the idea of the spear being "alive", as is the idea that Lancer is afraid to use it. Clarifying question for that, though: Can he turn it off? Or is it a one-and-done activation? How exactly does the mechanic work? Overall though pretty nice work mate.

Basically Pisear is just a name whoever wrote that story made up for the current king of Persia to have so Brian and the rest of the heroes could have a fetch quest (even though in some accounts Areadbhar is brought with the Tuatha de Danann when they colonized Ireland). I wanted to do a Darius I sheet initially but then saw Royd had already done one, so I Nasu'd what little there is about Pisear.
Looking over it now it is a little vague. It's basically Gae Bolg+Luin of Celtchar, it could be put back to sleep with proper magecraft.

[Funderfullness]

Say you were going to make a HGW fic, but you could only use Servants from the Create-a-Servants threads.

Who would you use?

I wrote a snippet for Jack Fiddler's sheet about a Grail War in Toronto and in my head it was:

Saber- Galatea
Archer- Tutankhamun
Lancer- Jan Matthys
Rider- Khutulun or Guru Gobind Singh
Assassin- Jeanne de Valois
Berserker- The Wendigo
Caster- Jack Fiddler