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Thread: (Bi)Monthly Rework-a-Servant Contest

  1. #1
    Local Extra Class Aficionado DelRey's Avatar
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    (Bi)Monthly Revise-a-Servant Contest

    Good day Ladies and Gentlemen and welcome to the Revision Contest.
    Brought to you by yours truly, Rey and Wyvern.
    The contest is a complementary to the regular Monthly Create a Servant Contest and borrows most of it's rules. We plan to do it in the month the other one is not active.
    Except that we encourage you to rework or repost your older servant sheets and bring them up to current standard. Be it from the modern FGO standpoint, your own expectations or formatting.
    Or you are so proud of an old sheet that you want to show it of again!
    I encourage everyone to participate, even the "old guard" who made servants a long while ago.

    Onwards to your questions:

    What sheets are allowed?

    Reposts of your older sheets.
    Reworks of your older sheets.
    Alternative Classes of your older sheets.
    Reworks of Canon FGO Servants.
    Alternative Classes of Canon FGO Servants.
    Seasonal or Special Alts of your older sheets or Canon FGO Servants. (Alter, Lostbelt, Summer, Christmas, Valentines, New Year, Easter, etc.)

    What you consider a "rework" is up to you. Grammar, concept, formatting, all counts. It is your rework after all.

    If you are someone that posted Servants on other sites (reddit, amino, spacebattles, …), but not here, as long as you can show us that it was you who created it, you can use them too.


    What sheets are not allowed?

    Obviously, those that do not fit the prompt. Prompts are already broad enough, stretching them too much is not needed.
    Reposts/Reworks of other Creator's sheets without their blessing.
    Modern Fiction Servants. No Anime characters you did previously, please. Modern Humans are fair game tho, but please do not use the Authors of Modern Fiction Characters as a dud to do them anyways!
    Winning Entries of this Contest.
    Winning Entries of the regular or Secret Santa Contest younger than six months.


    About the Prompts:

    The prompts are as broad as possible. Things like a specific Class Category (Knight, Cavalry, Extra), Region (Europe, Americas, Asia, North/South Hemisphere, Old World/New World, etc), Century, etc.
    The Winner of the previous Contest decides the new prompt. They can participate in their own prompt! But because they know it beforehand it would be nice if they release the sheets as early as possible. I suggest within the first weak?
    The best case would be the winner starts the contest with a fitting entry.

    If you choose a prompt that was already done, do not worry, you can make another Knight Class Contest even if there was only half a year ago.


    General Rules on Submission and Voting:

    You can submit up to two sheets.

    You have three votes: 3 points, 2 points, 1 point. When entries have the same amount of points, the one with more 3 point votes wins. If it is still equal by then, we have two winners. Don't vote for yourself, duh.
    When you vote you give points to a creator. Creators should not evaluate if they should do a second sheet in fear of cannibalizing their first entry. It also prevents voters from giving creators more than one vote.

    If there is a case of many entries, like say over 25, we can discuss the option to raise the number of votes you have to 5. Also, short feedback on why you granted them points would be much appreciated.

    If in doubt of the legitimacy of a submitted entry, respectfully point it out. We can then have a discussion if the entry is within the prompt's topic.

    Each Rework Contest starts on the 1st of every uneven month at 10 pm UTC time and ends three weeks later on the 22nd at the same time. The voting period starts right after and ends on the 29th, also at the same time.
    If I messed up and am late the time is moved a bit accordingly.
    But I grant the winner of the previous contest the authority to step in and announce the prompt in my stead if I am late - if they want of course.


    Compilations:

    Third Place, Second Place, First Place.

    1st Prompt: Free Choice

    Archer - Brunhild by Nuclear Consensus
    Caster - Cain by RoydGolden
    Caster - The Morrigan by Baron Magnus
    Assassin - "The Scarlet Pimpernel" by BnEl15
    Archer - Furbaide Ferbend by RoydGolden
    "Assassin" - "Stingy Jack" by Kamera
    Caster - Enoch by Baron Magnus
    Shielder - Hektor by Nuclear Consensus
    Foreigner - Twinkle Star by DelRey
    Lancer - Ciabhan by WhiteFrenzy
    Caster - Charles Babbage by pinetree

    2nd Prompt: Europe

    Caster - Joseph II by Nuclear
    Archer - Maria Theresa by Nuclear
    Gatekeeper - The Pallanides by DelRey
    Ruler - Guthrum by RoydGolden
    Saber - Saul by Alexcoene
    Alter-Ego - Epione by WhiteFrenzy
    Assassin - Stingy Jack by Baron Magnus
    Caster - Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart (Alter) by DelRey
    The Morrigan by Baron Magnus

    3rd Prompt: Cavalry

    4th Prompt: Extra/Rarest Class


    6th Prompt: Good Aligned

    7th Prompt: Divine

    8th Prompt: Concept
    Foreigner - Nikola Tesla by Dreamerless
    Ruler - Umar Ibn Khattab by Ismail2002
    Rider - Captain Nemo by Gl4re
    Rider - Nursery Rhyme "Red Handed Jill" by Anju Addams
    Saber - Ullikummi by RoydGolden
    Rider - Shu by Roydgolden
    Avenger - Patroclus by SimpleScribe
    Rider - Sasaki Kojiro by Vididii



    11th Prompt: Anti-Servants
    [post3298743]"Ruler" - "Sherlock Holmes"[/post] by Dreamerless
    Anti Saber - Kamo Serizawa by Morg van Destro
    Anti Saber - Nakazawa Koto by Vance
    Anti Rider - Boudica by Vididii
    Anti Rider - Outis by OddEyedDuelist
    Anti Rider - Konrad der Rote by Serra
    Anti Caster - Edward Tudor by sutaa
    Anti Caster - Erik Vachon by DracoScribe
    Anti Berserker - Nero Claudius Alter by MuramasaMachII
    Anti Lancer - Courtaud by SimpleScribe
    Anti Binder - Tokugawa Iemitsu by BnEl15
    Anti Foreigner - Ihy | Apep by Salt Pillar
    Saber - Madawg by Saron (1/2)
    Anti Saber - Madawg by Saron (2/2)
    Anti Shielder - Guinevere by Crying
    Anti Berserker - Lancelot by ErrantGalantine

    12th Prompt: Pugilism


    Last edited by DelRey; March 28th, 2024 at 04:14 PM.
    "Let's see the color of your coin, my friend."



    Behold my vault of Heroes.
    Where the Heavens and the Abyss breath the Music of Humanity.


    The King's duty is to provide. And provide, I shall.
    University of Formatting | Gallery of Potential | Memorandum of the Extra Class Kings

    Our Kingdom will grow. And we shall know each citizen.
    Create-a-Servant 4 soon.

  2. #2
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors Kabalisto Koga's Avatar
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    So that is the discussed second servant contest ? Looks quite neat Delrey well then just one Question would it also count if you made a pseudo servant and make a pure servant of the being that was previously in a host ?
    Your verified Chikara-production Studios !

    Dont ship me with anyone unless i say so !

    When you wake a Dragon in his Lair...





  3. #3
    祖 Ancestor
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    Good to see that you managed to start your contest.

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    Local Extra Class Aficionado DelRey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kabalisto Koga View Post
    So that is the discussed second servant contest ? Looks quite neat Delrey well then just one Question would it also count if you made a pseudo servant and make a pure servant of the being that was previously in a host ?
    so you basically just take away the divine spirits inside of them? Sure. Thats a rework.
    "Let's see the color of your coin, my friend."



    Behold my vault of Heroes.
    Where the Heavens and the Abyss breath the Music of Humanity.


    The King's duty is to provide. And provide, I shall.
    University of Formatting | Gallery of Potential | Memorandum of the Extra Class Kings

    Our Kingdom will grow. And we shall know each citizen.
    Create-a-Servant 4 soon.

  5. #5
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors Kabalisto Koga's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DelRey View Post
    so you basically just take away the divine spirits inside of them? Sure. Thats a rework.
    i meant in this case rather the being in them like a Rasputin servant without Kirei as example.
    Your verified Chikara-production Studios !

    Dont ship me with anyone unless i say so !

    When you wake a Dragon in his Lair...





  6. #6
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    This is a good chance to polish up sheets that I might not've been 100% satisfied with but not to the point of remaking them entirely in the main thread. Might submit something shortly.

  7. #7
    Local Extra Class Aficionado DelRey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kabalisto Koga View Post
    i meant in this case rather the being in them like a Rasputin servant without Kirei as example.
    Oh sry i misread. It is basically a new servant if the original person changes. So i would say no.
    "Let's see the color of your coin, my friend."



    Behold my vault of Heroes.
    Where the Heavens and the Abyss breath the Music of Humanity.


    The King's duty is to provide. And provide, I shall.
    University of Formatting | Gallery of Potential | Memorandum of the Extra Class Kings

    Our Kingdom will grow. And we shall know each citizen.
    Create-a-Servant 4 soon.

  8. #8
    Wyrd oft nereð unfǽgne eorl, þonne his ellen déah... Skull's Avatar
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    Hmm...there is actually one sheet of mine so abominable that I refused to list it amongst my compendium.

    I may just submit an entry, not so much to win but rather to redeem myself in the eyes of humanity.
    Last edited by Skull; November 1st, 2021 at 06:52 PM.
    "Here's a bangin lil' tune about takin' on The Man!"

    (Check out my Super Special Awesome Servant Compendium here)

  9. #9
    Local Extra Class Aficionado DelRey's Avatar
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    it is more about having fun revisiting the "sins of your youth" here and showing what you have become.
    A more chill contest compared to the other one.
    "Let's see the color of your coin, my friend."



    Behold my vault of Heroes.
    Where the Heavens and the Abyss breath the Music of Humanity.


    The King's duty is to provide. And provide, I shall.
    University of Formatting | Gallery of Potential | Memorandum of the Extra Class Kings

    Our Kingdom will grow. And we shall know each citizen.
    Create-a-Servant 4 soon.

  10. #10
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six pinetree's Avatar
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    Cool idea, but I can't say I've done enough sheets to want to rework anything. Good luck to you guys.

  11. #11
    祖 Ancestor
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    I wonder if anybody is going to integrate this new “servant sheets as pseudo short stories” thing basically everybody is now doing into their sheet rework.

  12. #12
    超刻 Hyperreal Nuclear's Avatar
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    Art by ikeriu
    "Brunhild of the Archer class has answered the summons. Hm, you have a pleasant enough countenance for my purposes, I suppose. Now, Master, shall we sortie and find my graceful self a groom?"

    Class: Archer
    Alternate classes: Lancer, Berserker
    True Name: Brunhild
    Gender: Female
    Height and Weight: 170 cm / 56 kg

    Source: "Nibelungenlied"
    Region: Iceland, Germany, Europe
    Alignment: Neutral Evil
    Attribute: Earth

    Parameters
    Strength: D (A+++)
    Constitution: C
    Agility: D
    Magical Energy: B+
    Luck: D
    Noble Phantasm: B

    She loves talking about how much cleaner and purer her kingdom is compared to her husband's.

    Biography
    Legend
    Brunhild was the proud virgin queen of Iceland as described in the Nibelungenlied. In the legend, the hero Siegfried participated in a ruse against this queen, by making himself invisible so as to allow his ally King Gunther of Worms to win Brunhild’s hand. Upon the revelation of this treachery, Brunhild plotted to destroy the dragon-blooded hero, eventually leading to the downfall of the kingdom on the Rhine.

    A problem child from start to finish. Because of the great strength bestowed by the girdle and ring, her own natural beauty, and the vast fortune she inherited as queen, Brunhild was destined to be problematic from the very beginning of her life. A woman housed with many contradictions, she doomed herself to unhappiness by setting impossible high standards on the people around her.

    Not much is known about her life after the tragedy of the Burgundians. She either left for her native Iceland, or remained in Worms to rule the remnants of the once-proud kingdom of the Rhine, but the truth cannot be ascertained because Brunhild herself refuses to speak at length about the topic.

    Character
    Likes: Sparkly things, romance novels
    Dislikes: People who judge based on looks, contests of masculinity
    Talent: Shot put, home wrecking (she is trying to reform in this aspect)

    A stereotypically haughty, high-class woman who wants the finest things in life. Brunhild loves hearing or reading about tales of romance; for her, the sappier and more sentimental, the better. Slightly careless when it comes to money, she is easily swayed by sales.

    However, this vapid persona is merely a mask that hides Brunhild's true feelings. Upon ascending to the Throne, Brunhild was able to receive the information that "Siegfried was not a vassal of the Burgundians" and "Kriemhild and I are of equal rank", so she secretly, one-sidedly came to the opinion that "the hell that unfolded afterwards was all my fault". Although this side of her rarely sees the light of day, this realization forced Brunhild to mature, meaning that she is more likely to scrutinize others' statements and intentions compared to when she was alive (this does not apply to matters concerning things she likes, however). She's also more likely to take the blame for anything that goes wrong, whether or not it's related to her.

    With regards to combat, Brunhild's preferred fighting style involves picking up anything not securely fastened to the ground, like pebbles, lampposts, or even medium-sized trees, and throwing it at the opponent. Usually, being targeted with such mundane items should be of no inconvenience to a spiritual being of great skill such as a Servant, but the raw strength, velocity, and frequency of Brunhild's throws makes them a threat for even the most experienced of heroes. However, such a fighting style also has its downsides. Firstly, because of Brunhild's massive strength, some common objects may disintegrate while on their path to the target. Secondly, because Brunhild lacks any means of perceiving targets at long range, she must stick to medium-range throwing, as well as close-quarters combat (which involves punches, kicks, and wrestling moves packing terrifying power). Lastly, the massive strength Brunhild uses in her throws is instantly revoked once the girdle and ring she wears is taken from her body.

    Regarding her wish to the Holy Grail, it is simply "to hold hands with my fated one, whoever that may be". In life, Brunhild constrained herself and her happiness by tying it with her strength, and this did nothing but trap her in misery and destroy the lives of others. Therefore, what she wants is "to be able to marry whom I want, without the constraints of any vow".

    Relationships
    Master
    Her relationship points for them are slightly higher than for everyone else, since they summoned her, after all, and are instrumental to granting her wish.

    Siegfried
    They had been close confidants, once upon a time, before the dragonslayer went to Burgundy to wed his bride; before everything went to hell. Although they both wish they could speak to the other as freely as before, the thought that "I've hurt this person too many times" keeps them both imprisoned.

    Brynhildr
    "Wait, so you actually leapt into the flames of your husband's funeral pyre in order to die with him? Ugh, how terribly, sickeningly, morbidly romantic!"

    Astraea
    Because of their uncannily similar personalities, they have a sort of rivalry going on. Tickets to their next ten title bouts are already sold out.
    Class Skills
    Magic Resistance: C
    The ability to repel Magecraft. Cancels one-line spells and simple rituals, but can still be affected by High-Thaumaturgy and Grand Rituals.

    Independent Action: A+
    The ability to remain independent even when rejecting the Magical Energy supply from one's Master. The support of a Master is unnecessary even while unleashing a large amount of Magical Energy.

    Personal Skills
    Golden Rule (Wealth & Body): B
    The ability to attain wealth combined with the possession of a natural and perfect goddess-like body, preserving beauty. It becomes possible to live an upper-crust lifestyle by living off on one's riches alone, and, barring the occasional end-of-season shopping frenzy, it is unlikely that money will run out. However, on the off chance that it does, Brunhild only needs to show up on someone poor shmuck's arm, and the dough starts rolling in again.

    Hero's Reward: B
    An expression that denotes one as not entirely a human being, but as "something" awarded as recompense for another's hard labor. Brunhild was qualified by two things: her terrifying strength, and her beauty. By overcoming a certain labor (surpassing Archer's strength), a hero could gain a great reward (a maiden's hand in marriage). Thus, the bearer of the skill becomes a "wish" without their consent. In practical application, a charm-type quality inherent in Archer's body that makes her desirable in the eyes of all.

    Noble Phantasms
    Brunhild Connubium: Maiden's Battle Armor
    Rank: B
    Type: Anti-Unit (Self) Noble Phantasm
    Range: 0
    Max targets: 1 person

    A set of golden ring and girdle that is always present on Brunhild's person. While they are worn, her STR parameter is always treated as A+++ rank, more than enough to bypass the protection granted by bathing in dragon's blood. Additionally, the second Noble Phantasm can only be used with the girdle and ring on. If the articles were to be removed from Brunhild's body, then the blessing granted by this Noble Phantasm is nullified, and the second Noble Phantasm is sealed.

    Girdles were often used as a symbol of either sexuality (such as those worn by Ishtar and Aphrodite) or chastity (such as the one worn by the Virgin Mary). Such contradictory meanings are seen at work in Brunhild's possession of the girdle, tying to her great beauty and desirability, as well as her refusal to marry anyone who could not beat her. Incidentally, Brunhild's name, which translates to "battle armor", is the source of the title of this Noble Phantasm.

    Brunhild Romantia: A Killing Blow for My One and Only
    Rank: A
    Type: Anti-Unit Noble Phantasm
    Range: 1-50
    Max targets: 1 person

    In the legend of the Nibelungs, the warrior queen Brunhild insisted on challenging all her suitors to determine who was worthy to become her husband. The challenges were: survive one of her spear throws, throw a boulder, and leap after that boulder. This Noble Phantasm is the crystallization of the first trial: a blow whose power increases the more the target is attracted to Brunhild.

    The Noble Phantasm's "Anti-Unit" classification and range imply that the attack only strikes one person, but in truth, Archer's throws are powerful enough to cause copious amounts of collateral damage, making the spear throw's damage resemble that of an "Anti-Army" Noble Phantasm. The "Anti-Unit" classification instead points toward the one who holds Brunhild as an object of desire. Using a whalebone javelin saturated with runes, Archer takes aim of the target and lets loose. To a target that is indifferent to her, the Noble Phantasm will only be a powerful spear throw that can be blocked or evaded. To those who actively seek Archer out, whether due to insatiable desire or undiluted hatred, the Noble Phantasm becomes a sure-hit killing technique that aims toward the source of that love or animosity.

    Author's Notes
    Link to the original sheet

    Whenever I wax nostalgically about my earlier days in CaS (and in this forum in general) I always find my thoughts drifting toward this sheet, probably because of the qt balance between seriousness and memes. That balance has recently been tipped towards seriousness, but whatevs, Brunhild is still one of my fave sheets, even if it is decidedly not flashy. I was also gonna write a snippet of Siegfried escorting a drunk Brunhild home from a casino during the Las Vegas event, but I was like, "ugh, but that's more work..." So ye. It do be like that most of the time.
    Last edited by Nuclear; March 14th, 2022 at 02:50 AM.

  13. #13
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Caster of the Demonic City:

    Appearance (tagged for sheer size)


    True Name: Cain

    Alignment: Chaotic Evil

    Alternate Classes: Lancer, Berserker, Assassin

    Strength- D
    Agility- E
    Endurance- D+
    Mana- A
    Luck- E-
    NP- A

    Personality
    Cruel, cunning and immensely arrogant; Caster's outward persona is precisely that of a stereotypical "evil overlord". This is not something he denies. Indeed Caster seems to positively rejoice in his impression of a villain, perpetrating acts of cruelty solely to further his sinister reputation. An extremely dramatic man who peppers his speeches with grand sweeping gestures and maniacal laughter, believing that to be simply "how villains should be."

    In truth his role as a villain is not one that gives Caster any joy, contrary to what his flamboyant demeanor would suggest. Those to discern his features more closely would find Caster's expression perpetually cold and uncaring. When he laughs his voice is empty- as if he is merely acting out a script. At heart, Caster hates himself for his killing of Abel. His embracing the role of a villain is in fact a form of self-flagellation- a twisted attempt to punish himself for his sins. Caster rejects redemption because he doesn't believe himself worthy of it, and continues to sink into depravity while scornfully cursing his own heart.

    Caster questions whether a supposedly holy artifact such as the Grail would even grant the wish of one as wicked as he. Nonetheless he claims his wish would be to expand his demonic city of Enoch Eridu across the entire world, plunging all of humanity into an eternal orgy of bloodshed and killing alongside his monstrous "children". While a hell for ordinary humans, for a bloodthirsty killer such as himself a world like that would be nothing short of true paradise, or at least so the self-styled villain claims.

    Of course, that wish is just as much of a falsity as most of Caster's villainous persona. His deepest desire is one even he himself is not truly aware of- absolution, even if in a twisted form. To atone for his sins by dying at the hands of a hero of justice, ending his bloodstained legacy once and for all. And finally freeing himself of the unspeakable guilt that haunted his every waking moment since Abel's murder.

    Caster is actually not quite as cruel as he styles himself and can even sometimes perform spontaneous acts of kindness while rationalizing that it's "what a villain would do". For instance rescuing a little girl's balloon from a tree only to say that he was merely giving her false hope as to the world's fairness to make her future despair all the sweeter, or sparing civilians because they're valuable resources that could be better recruited as minions. Caster is truthfully more dedicated to the aesthetic of a villain than being one in actuality so while his Skills and Noble Phantasms are ideal for mass-killing he will willfully constrain them most of the time and only utilize the bare-minimum to amass a terrorizing presence. Though that's not to say he won't be willing to commit genuinely evil acts like sacrificing innocents when pushed into a corner, just that it's not his first choice.

    Likes: performing acts of evil, ...Abel?
    Dislikes: heroes of justice, himself
    Talents: building an (evil) civilization, everything expected of a villain
    Natural Enemy: God, Abel, his other self


    Class Skills:

    Territory Creation- EX
    The ability to formulate a territory advantageous to oneself as a Magus. Caster's second Noble Phantasm facilitates creation of a "
    Enoch Eridu
    Demonic City
    " that exists as the antithesis of a holy temple.

    Item Construction- C++
    A talent to craft items tinted in magical energy. While not a traditional Magus, through his authority as the First Murderer Caster can forge all manner of weaponry intended to claim the lives of men. Weapons created through this Skill have a bloodied appearance even before being used in combat and pulsate with dreadful magical power.

    "Spiced" by the influence of his fallen patrons even Mystic Codes such as glasswork that stores Mana as well as fragrances and cosmetics imparting an effect akin to potent charm and disguise Magecraft can be created, though Caster vocally scorns any need for the latter. "What do you mean, 'how much makeup does it take to nail that evil overlord look?' Of course I can do so effortlessly, imbecile!" he huffily proclaims.


    Personal Skills:

    Charisma (Corruption)- A
    A mutation of Charisma born from Caster's status as ruler of the bloodthirsty Cainite tribe. Rather than inspiring others by presenting a shining example, he indulges them to wallow in their own worst natures. A dark eloquence that functions as a mental attack, muddying morals and inhibitions while urging his followers to act on their basest desires. Additionally, the further one gratifies their desires, the deeper they fall under Caster's thrall, eventually becoming close to a slavish puppet. Functionally a Charisma variant that imparts the effects of steadily rising Mental Pollution and Sadistic Constitution to those under Caster's command.

    Caster himself claims that this Skill is merely stripping away the veneer of civility and decency to reveal the
    depravity
    "truth"
    of all humanity. Though it's unclear on what level he really believes this as Caster seems excited by the prospect of facing those who stand up to his authority, regarding them as exceptional heroes worthy of facing a demon-king like himself.

    Based on the anecdotes of Caster having nonhuman beings such as Nephilim amongst his subjects and becoming commander of the Wild Hunt after death, his charisma also exerts effectiveness against Phantasmal and Demonic Beasts. The imagery of an evil overlord riding into battle accompanied by a horde of inhuman beasts can certainly be borne out thanks to this Skill. Even Dragon-Kind can be commanded even though the capacity to control them would normally lie far beyond his abilities, because of the synchrony between dragons as a "symbol of sin" and Caster's own nature. Though this only applies to Western dragons and not Eastern ones that are sacred beasts.

    As this form of charisma is ultimately no different than a psychological attack, it can be resisted by Skills and Noble Phantasms that specialize in blocking mental interference such as Bravery and Soul Of A Martyr.

    Wisdom Of The Watchers- A+
    In the Apocryphal Book of Enoch, the fallen angel Samyaza is attributed as the one who first taught the fruits of "civilization" to man. Bestowing the secrets of metallurgy, warfare, sorcery, seductive makeup and perfumes; all knowledge that humans would achieve someday on their own but foisted on them by an outside power they degenerated into greed and indolence. Under the demon's
    corruption
    tutelage
    , mankind came to turn on and slaughter itself to an unprecedented degree, requiring the intervention of the Four Archangels to banish and seal the rogue angel to restore harmony to the human race.

    While having no direct connections to Samyaza in life, this aspect of "corrupting through the fruits of civilization" synergizes splendidly with Caster's own nature as founder of the first city in the ancient world. In a sense he can be likened to the mortal representative of Samyaza distributing his
    curses
    gifts
    . Allows Caster to practice any Skill signifying the "growth and development of human civilization" and corresponding to each of the eleven Watchers under Samyaza at C~A+ rank. These are geomancy from Araqiel, the dispelling of enchantments (Magic Resistance) from Armaros, weapons-smithing and cosmetics from Azazel, seduction and killing-techniques from Gadreel, astrology from Baraqiel and Kokabiel, metereology from Chazaqiel, Innate Wisdom and Rune Magic (Scribe) from Penemue, divination of the moon and sun from Sariel and Shamsiel respectively, and Incitement from Yeqon.

    Furthermore can Caster also pass on these benefits to others provided they submit to his will. Though in this case the donated boons are a rank-down from the original.

    Aptitude For Slaughter (Tools)- A+++
    A Skill qualifying one's aptitude for killing, expressed through various means. As mankind's first murderer he boasts uncontested mastery over all myriad forms of the bloodstained art. Since Cain in this Class embodies the more "civilized" aspects of murder rather than the impulsive act of brutality that defined his original self, he has lost the ability to use even his bare hands as a deadly weapon (for such is a terribly inelegant means of killing) in exchange for raising the efficacy of tools wielded for that purpose.

    Any tool Caster wields in combat becomes a weapon of death, rising in efficiency massively when used against human opponents or those that possess the "Man" attribute. Even mundane tools such as butter knives and umbrellas can be utilized to lethal effect. Though the Caster Class is normally unsuited to martial combat, this Skill allows Cain to hold his own even against more physically powerful Heroic Spirits.


    Noble Phantasms
    Cainites
    Children Of Murder, Arise And Paint This World In Blood


    Rank: D+

    Type: Anti-Team



    The bloodthirsty tribe Caster spawned, refining and bringing his art of murder to ever greater and more gruesome heights. Under Caster's dominion his children spread insatiably across the earth, conquering and ravaging all in their path. Ultimately God was forced to resort to cleansing the entire world with a global flood in order to stem the Cainites' rapacious advance.

    Rather than simply invoking it to summon his progeny into the world, this Noble Phantasm carries a special activation condition that reflects how they were "born" from his primeval act of bloodshed. Upon killing a human Caster is able to through a dark ritual animate a Cainite from their corpse. Visibly dark mist seeps up from the body before coalescing into a vaguely humanoid figure with gaping fanged maw and glowing blood-red eyes. Caster actually favors evil humans for this process, as he states their bloodlust births a finer abomination though he will sacrifice innocents when no better victims are available.

    The power of the Cainites roughly scales with that of the human that served as their basis. Those spawned from ordinary humans have pitifully weak parameters and can only challenge Servants in vast numbers. Conversely one formed from a fellow Heroic Spirit should Caster manage to perform the ritual before they dissipate would be more powerful and even possess a vestige of the "parent's" Skills and Noble Phantasms. Cainites are mindless creatures that only feel a blind loyalty to Caster and otherwise rampage uncontrollably attacking everything in sight.

    Possibly the most terrifying part of this Noble Phantasm is that humans killed by Cainites will also give rise to additional Cainites, begetting a gruesome cycle. If left unchecked this Noble Phantasm could result in a large-scale disaster as Caster's horde grows large enough to feast on a major city. Though he normally keeps them constrained not to act so openly.

    When at least 100 Cainites are formed, they may merge into one- sacrificing their individual essences to birth a far more powerful monstrosity. Their bodies literally agglomerate together, dissolving into shapeless dark mist before condensing into the form of a grotesque black giant. These giants, called "Nephilim", are vastly larger and more formidable than Caster's regular ghouls, easily at the level of a mid-tier Phantasmal Beast. Being born from mist, the bodies of "Nephilim" reform continuously when attacked. Killing them requires either dealing out strikes faster then their regeneration permits, or else to annihilate their entire body at once with a powerful burst attack.

    Fitting the title of fallen angels, each Nephilim has a massive pair of desiccated black feathery wings protruding out from somewhere on its body. The exact number of wings varies depending on how many Cainites were expended to "birth" the Nephilim, but more powerful amalgamations may be seen sporting up to seven at a time- evoking a twisted version of the angelic hierarchy.


    Enoch Eridu
    Capital Of The Demonic City


    Rank: A

    Type: Anti-World



    The first city in all creation, built by the hand of Caster himself at the end of his wanderings and named in honor of his only begotten son. Even though this city was great, it was also a monument to mankind's decadence. A city of sin viewed in the same light as the Babylon described in the Book Of Revelation, embodying humanity's hubristic rejection of the divine.

    To invoke this Noble Phantasm, Caster must first obtain the sacrifices of at least a dozen humans (or one Heroic Spirit) and let their blood soak into the earth. Only upon the completion of this dark ritual may Caster manifest his fabled city into horrid reality. Upon summoning, it overlays atop the current environment much like the golden theatre of a certain Roman tyrant. The surrounding terrain is replaced by an infernal cityscape- vast monoliths of gilded marble and twisted ebony spires jutting hundreds of feet into the sky. Even the air within the city is affected, stained the sickly tint of blood as an otherworldly mist descends upon the scenery to nearly blot out the sun.

    As Caster's city symbolizes "rejection of the divine", all Skills (such as Revelation, Divinity, etc) and Noble Phantasms of godly origin are sealed within its confines if below B-rank, and ranked down otherwise. Similarly, Heroic Spirits who were themselves of divine nature (Divinity of rank C or higher) will be oppressed with a rank down to all parameters.

    Since the city was built as a shrine to sin, it weakens the virtuous while empowering the wicked. The miasma permeating this Noble Phantasm serves as a potent toxin to Servants of the Good Alignment, gradually damaging them as long as they remain exposed while Evil-Aligned Servants obtain a constant supply of magical energy and rank-up to all parameters immersed in it. True Neutral Servants are unaffected by either side of this ability.

    Caster's horrid children the Cainites are a constant presence within the city walls. The vile wraiths form constantly from the mist and continue to birth inexhaustibly no matter how many are cut down, proving a terrifying threat even despite their individual weakness. Most opponents will find themselves gradually overwhelmed, worn down by ceaseless waves of ghouls while Caster is free to pick them off from afar with his dark magic.

    Once activated, the only way to destroy this city entirely is either with a Noble Phantasm classified Anti-City or higher or by killing Caster- upon which the entire stronghold will dissolve from existence. Given the rarity of weapons powerful enough to smite an entire city, the latter is likely the more feasible option.

    As powerful as the city is on its own, there is one last secret trump card it possesses which Caster may call upon. By incanting the mantra "Oh ruler, garb thyself in the vestments of sin", all the thousands upon thousands of Cainites scattered around the unholy city dissolve into black mist that slowly flows towards Caster. Upon reaching him, the mist accrues into a choking miasma that engulfs Caster along with an entire city block's worth of territory, creating an incredibly toxic zone that will poison and suffocate ordinary humans unlucky enough to be caught within range.

    The miasma then condenses, forming an utterly massive Nephilim figure of which Caster occupies the very center. Its body is a twisted amalgamation of every single wraith within Caster's city. Crowning its perverse angelic authority are seventeen enormous feathery wings protruding out at obscene angles, each of which is easily big enough to blanket an entire street in shadow.

    This unholy creature, referred to as a "
    Nephilim Tyrant
    Dark Angel Overlord
    " by Caster, is incredibly powerful. Its footfalls create miniature earthquakes and every flap of its misshapen wings ushers forth savage tornado-force gales. A single sweep of its twisted claws can shred through several buildings in one go, while the shockwave of pressurized air lays waste to dozens more.

    From within its core, Caster can guide the beast's motions but even he has only limited control over it. The Nephilim Tyrant's mind is a swirling sea of pure bloodlust and primal rage, a relentless urge to consume and devour that overwhelms all rational thought, that is if the monster ever possessed such a thing to begin with. Destroy, kill, ravage, all until there's nothing left but ruins and death. Such is the tyrant's nature.

    Because of the Nephilim Tyrant's sheer size and power, all surviving Heroic Spirits other then Caster are all but sure to need to unite their efforts to have even a hope of destroying it. The Tyrant possesses the same regeneration as its inferior brethren, but in addition will also bleed and spawn off countless lesser Cainites each time it's damaged. Therefore it's likely that one group of Heroic Spirits will need to concentrate on keeping back the lesser horde, while another focuses their efforts on bringing down the black behemoth itself.

    Despite how powerful it is, due to the unbelievable collateral damage the Nephilim Tyrant evokes (likely to leave Caster's city a smoldering ruin in the aftermath) as well as his own lack of control over it, Caster considers it a last resort and will refuse to call upon the beast unless pushed into a corner where he has no other way of winning.

    There is also another restriction in that the ghouls within the city must have reached a certain population before Caster can summon the Tyrant. Given the rate at which they spawn from the mist, it will likely take around three to four days before Caster has sufficient wraiths to manifest his ultimate trump card, presenting a "time-limit" to his foes who will wish to defeat him before that point.


    Key Words/Craft Essence
    Birth Of The Demon King
    "Let me tell you a story, Master.

    Once upon a time, there was a boy.
    That boy lived happily alongside his sister, in a world of boundless green fields under a pure blue sky.
    The boy and his sister loved each other very much. He swore to protect her, and she swore to stand by his side no matter what.
    A simple, childish oath, but yet one both vowed to keep until their last breaths.

    One day, the boy killed his sister.
    He brutally stabbed her with her own ritual dagger and let the blood flow out of her body, watering the earth much as he had in his days as a farmer.
    ...Why, you ask?
    Ah, I'm sorry to say that I forgot the answer to that question a very long time ago.

    With that act, the paradisiacal world they'd dwelt in had shattered instantly, or perhaps it had been revealed as a mere illusion all along.
    Tormented by grief, the boy wandered the earth for countless years, cursing both himself and his fate.
    He begged God to punish him for his sin, but the Lord in his unfathomable ways merely placed a single Mark upon him, ensuring protection in his travels.

    The boy could not be forgiven. Evil
    He could not atone. Fiend
    He could not find peace after what he'd done. Murderer
    Because of the awful Mark etched into his flesh, even the blissful numbness of death was denied to him. No Escape
    Therefore... there was only one remaining path to march upon.

    'A murderer, a killer, a scoundrel and demon... those are the only paths open to one of my nature.'
    The boy uttered those words while finally accepting his own fate.

    Instead of revolting against his ordained role, the boy resolved to embrace it all with his heart.
    He at last ceased his endless wanderings, and founded a great city.
    A monument of all of mankind's sins and depravity, worthy of a burgeoning demon king such as himself.

    Amassing armies of his foul progeny, the boy lead wars of conquest, orchestrating destruction and massacre on an unprecedented scale.
    He ravaged, slew, begat, consumed, all to wage war on the God that refused to punish him for his sin so long ago.

    Finally the weight of his evil actions grew too great, and some cosmic force- perhaps God, or something altogether impersonal- deigned to strike down the overlord.
    The castle he dwelt in collapsed upon him, crushing the boy just as he'd crushed so many other lives.

    Thus ends the beautiful, bloodstained tale of the demon king.
    Or so it goes. But some say the boy who was once a demon king lingers to this day, still seeking out judgement for his sin.

    ...Which version is the truth, Master? Such a thing hardly matters.
    After all, this is nothing more then an amusing and meaningless story."


    Mark Of Cain

    The blessed (cursed) mark imparted to Cain by God, promising sevenfold retribution upon any who slew him. While in most other Classes he would possess this Mark as a powerful Noble Phantasm, as Caster it has been sealed. As he abandoned the life of a wanderer, the Mark which once protected him on his travels has faded from sight.

    This is a digression but, in some variations of the legend the 'Mark' Cain received in fact took the form of an animalistic horn. While most likely intended simply to further his impression as a diabolical tyrant, the horns adorning his head in this form can be seen as alluding to that aspect of his myth.

    Nephilim

    A race of enigmatic beings described in the apocryphal Book Of Watchers, said to have procreated with humankind to produce twisted and gigantic offspring. While most commonly believed to be fallen angels, some accounts instead identify them with the lineage of Cain, who tried to seduce and corrupt the righteous offspring of Seth.

    Demon King
    Evil Overlord

    A term connoting the ultimate villain (final boss) found in many a heroic narrative. Due to his strong self-hatred, it seems Caster has chosen to fully embrace this archetype and everything it entails. Perhaps this even extends to wishing for his own death at the hands of a promised hero...


    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    So here's my (first?) entry for this contest. This is a Servant I was really proud of conceptually but felt just a little unsatisfied in the execution for a long time, mainly the lack of a Watchers-inspired Skill which I thought would be the perfect fit for his legend but sadly only occurred to me once the old thread was already locked down. Also mixed and matched his other Skills and NPs a bit, added a pinch to personality, tuned up the formatting to my present standards and included images to his NPs like a lot of y'all are doing these days. Hope this is enough that even readers familiar with the original will be able to find something new and interesting here.

  14. #14
    Not a day over sixty and with the eyes of a cornered ferret. WhiteFrenzy's Avatar
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    So, don't take this too seriously because in the end is an experimental way of reviewing that might change in the future. But I guess imma try for now.
    This is me reading both versions of your sheets and being amazed at your growth, because in the end ain't that the point of this thread?




    BRUNHILD
    (Nuclear Consensus)

    Formatting: The first thing I've noticed is you separating the Class Skills from the Personal Skills. Thank you, I had to read twice to get it in the original sheet. Other than that, I think your simple and to the point style kept being the same. Your writing skills got better as they show your current experience.
    Quality: Oh man, definitely an improvement. You got rid of the keywords, but then you sprinkled them in the text itself. There's more personality in the sheet now, more flavor that helps us to grasp what sort of character she is, and is overall such a pleasurable experience. Digging this 2.0 patch a whole lot more after reading the 1.0 version.
    Character: She's so CUTE? Hey, I'm weak to these ojousama-ish types, what can I say... Also, I liked how you kept the biography and expanded with a whole lot of personality, it definitely helps a reader. There's a lot of writers here that don't write lores, which forces me to google them and that takes a lot longer to review them. It's not a critique to these writers because it's a creative choice of theirs, but as a reader? I wish everyone could make my life easier. ;_;
    ANYWAY, I was talking about how I liked the way you introduced a personality section, it was great. It helped me to connect myself even more with the character, and the quotes were good too. She's a great show of improvement.
    Final considerations: AYO YOU DID GREAT. What a first entry!

    CAIN
    (RoydGolden)


    Formatting: Oh Royd, it's so incredible how your formatting style changed so little and yet, I definitely feel the change. I don't know, it's so subtle but so effective still. Definitely shows your maturity too.
    Quality: Alright, I'll just get this out of the way real quick: YOU HAVE SO MANY CAINS. HOLY SHIT I HAD NO IDEA I WAS IN FOR A RIDE. But yes, I did took the time to read every one of them and I can see the way you handpicked the best of each one to make a patchwork out of this good (bad) boy. The first thing that got to me it was how easier it was to read this Cain now... I don't know if it was the combination of words, the way you're such a better writer now, or what, but this version is spetacular.
    The flavor texts are immaculate, they fit so well and they are SO full of character. Which is one of your strenghts, since you're of that school of thought that leaves out Lore to instead show us it in the Skills and personality itself. And it doesn't feel bare at all? It's a choice I could never replicate, one that you make seem so easy. It's most definitely not.
    Character: Perfect. You took everything that makes this character great and elevated to the maximum. The pictures helped a lot to make the character even more appealing, and the key words? Oh man. If I wasn't in love with him before, that would definitely get me. I give him 11/10 rebel points would pat his head and get maimed for it.
    Final considerations: THE GOODEST BADDEST BOY EVER IS FINALLY HERE.
    ——————
    WHITEFRENZY'S
    servants | masters
    —————

  15. #15
    死徒(下級)Lesser Dead Apostle Baron Magnus's Avatar
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    "Oh? I'm summoned here? To the greatest war of all? Why, what an honor... now let's see if my standards will be met"





    Sources: Pixalry.io, Pinterest.com. KotNarKot, Zerochan.net. Juleide, FantasyArtVillage.com.
    Class: Caster, Assassin, or Rider.
    True Name: the Morrigan
    Origin: Celtic Mythology
    Alignment: Chaotic-Evil
    Likes: War, Fighting, Drinking, Crows, Justice, and Bravery
    Dislikes: Cowardice, Senseless Violence, Dogs, and Peace.
    Talents: All things war, Magic, and Prophecy.
    Catalyst: A live crow, A bone from the horse of Macha, the coin once owned by Badb, or a rune carved by Nemian.
    Other Classes: none
    Natural Enemies: Lugh
    Armaments: Rune Magecraft (A+), Enchanted Items.


    Parameters

    Spoiler:
    Str: C
    End: C
    Agi: C
    Mna: A
    Lck: E



    Lore

    Spoiler:
    The terror of scotland, the queen of witches, and the goddess of war among celtic circles has a single name, the Morrigan. Her reputation her titles such as Crow Mother and Strife Incarnate point to is well earned. She caused many wars through subtle manipulation, she sacked entire villages for seemingly no reason, and in one instance she is blamed for the fall of an entire kingdom. Her most notable example however is her role in the death of Cu Chulainn, exploiting his geas to not eat dog meat in order to bring about his death, after he rejected her advances. Yet her story is not just her own. the Morrigan is always refered to as a trio of seperate goddesses and the truth is slightly further from that. Three demigoddesses form her divine core that marks her as a proper goddess and are her origin. Nemean de Fuile, demigoddess of havoc, once mere soldier turned into a warlord. Badb Catha, demigoddess of strife, was a petty thief who through circumstance became a master sabotuer. Then there was Macha Aon Uair Fìor, a princess reduced to merely a general that was called the demigoddess of war. These three, each of different walks of life, met through the actions of Nemian who sought nothing more than to increase her own power and had no qualms about the immoral actions she took to reach them. She used whoever she needed for her goals and Badb Catha and Macha quickly became individuals she trusted over anyone else. So deeply did they bond that they eventually underwent an ancient ritual Nemian uncovered from the wreckage of her former home to combine themselves and form a divine core shared between them. Unlike what the ritual speculated, their consciousnesses did not combine and they found three minds in charge of a single body. Yet, despite this, they did not bicker or quarrel. They tested to see the limits and mechanics of what they had and once they settled in began to do whatever they felt like doing as each secretly wanted. She would go on to create wars, involve herself in wars, chase Cu Chulainn romantically, and form a cult of witches hat enacted her desires in exchange for power, a pact which she honored. Yet, as with all things, the end came. Unlike many she knew it long in advanced and had prepared. She prepared a vessel proper for her power and knowledge, imbued it with them, buried it, and then moved on to the Reverse Side of the World after leaving a clue to where it slept in the form of a poem that is now lost to time, with only one half-completed copy residing among the inventory of the Clocktower. Her activities after this action are completely unknown.



    Personal Skills

    Spoiler:
    Divine Core of the Morrigan (All): -

    A divine core wholly unique to the Morrigan, formed from the divinity of Nemian de Fuile, Badb Catha, and Macha Aon Uair Fior. It is integral to the existence that is the Morrigan and should it be sealed all her skills and parameters will lower by a grade and she will have a negative modifier to any checks she makes. Yet, despite this, it offers A-rank Divinity and a powerful authority that lets her switch the personality in charge of the Morrigan as the minds of each were not combined when they meshed their bodies, origins, and divinities into one. The personality in charge determines the class, armaments, and skills that the Morrigan is at that time. Even the body is subject to change. When Nemian is at the fore, she takes on a more seductive form with long black hair with longer nails and a taller figure. When Badb Catha takes control she is shorter than the other two, has short hair, and leaner but rigid muscles. She has average height, hair, and figure when Macha but she has tense muscles that show the body of a true warrior.


    Enchant (Nemian): A

    As Nemian, king-killing demigoddess, her skill at enchanting was fine. She could imbue even concepts into items granting them significant power. However as a goddess it heightened far beyond that. Items of legendary might were formed by this skill, so much so that brooms of flying originated from her witches. Yet, constrained by her servanthood, her skill reduces to simply being able to weave history and concepts into an item. Great is this power but a shadow of her former strength. Even so, when given time, she will often spend weeks to craft and enchant weapons that she requires for each of her selves. Badb prefers knives while Macha swords and Nemian likes staves or spears over other crude implements.


    Subversive Activities (Badb): B++

    A skill Badb Catha perfected over years, she retains this skill as the Morrigan and took it beyond perfection. Yet, as a servant, it is restricted heavily due to not being in her proper goddess container. Even so, it is still a powerful skill with which she can reduce either an army or individuals strength by 30% temporarily. Often, she will implement it long before a battle begins to give herself an opening to try and finish a fight in one attack. When this fails, she relies on that decrease to let her overpower the enemy in an attempt to fell them before it disappears. Any that survive this impress her greatly, usually causing her to praise the mid-fight for their prowess.


    Tactics (Macha): A++

    A skill she uses to plan out engagements she intends to engage in or to influence without getting directly involved. It allows her to see subtleties that might be hidden to less observed or more human eyes. With it she can significantly increase the strength of her forces and decrease the strength of her enemies forces. Additionally, it applies a negative modifier to enemy Anti-Army noble phantasms while increasing her and her allies Anti-Army noble phantasms with a plus modifier. In her full power she could easily foresee all her enemies actions and the best moves to counteract them with 95% accuracy, on top of the other beneifts, with this skill alone. However, due to being restrained by her container she cannot reach this level of power on her own. Even so, she utilizes the skill in conjunction with others to make the best moves possible.


    Rune Magecraft (All): A+

    A true prodigy in runic magecraft, she utilizes it constantly. For divination, for defense, for offensive, for mobility. She uses all the runes she knows for their purpose and task in order to best increase her own chances. While Nemian was undoubtedly the strongest of the three in this arte she taught the other two the secrets of it as well and once combined they worked together to uncover more mysteries and power, leading to her current strength. Often, he knowledge of rune magecraft is compared to Scathach and she will often claim superiority though this claim is questionable. She possesses no original runes nor even primordial runes, with only her skill at timing potentially giving her an edge. It is speculated that had she been a goddess she'd be able to overpower scathach but contained she isn't equal... though never say this to the Morrigans face, or face a quick death.


    Familiars (Crow (All)): B++

    While originally a skill from Badb Catha, it was a trait shared amongst all of them; A love and kinship with crows. This skill normally allows the use of familiars in the form of crows, usually using recovered and restored bodies but they and by extension the Morrigan practice a different form; forming contracts with living crows and empowering them. Normally, they couldn't empower them much but as the Morrigan they grant the crows a boon of some form that aid them in some way. Gifts like the ability to speak and understand, decreased weight for better flight and mobility, or even the ability and intellect to utilize camoflaging. However in exchange the crows at as the eyes, ears, and messengers of the Morrigan, with the added benefit of guaranteed meals. She would offer safety but she cannot promise that during transit of messages and over enemy lines so refrains. Even so, when in her care they are safe, as he love of crows shows with the small houses she builds for each familiar she has contracted.





    Class Skills

    Spoiler:
    Presence Concealment (Badb Catha): A

    Badb Catha terrorized villages through subterfuge for a decade before meeting Nemian and five years later forming the Morrigan. As the Morrigna her skill not only did not atrophy but increased, allowing her to walk through active battlefields completely unseen until long after and entering villages and not even arousing suspicion. As a servant however it is restrained due to the nature of servants being weaker than herself as a goddess, though even then her skill is mighty as she can become practically invisible to detection until she decides to strike, at which point this skill drops to D rank. After that, she will often utilize it when retreating.


    Magic Resistance (Macha): C*

    Macha, as a rider, had the skill due to her class container granting it and the time period she lived in granting her some natural resistance. As the Morrigan, this skill has gained some power and elevated to this rank. While she cannot under normal circumstances nullify High Thaumaturgy or Greater Rituals, she can with some preparation mitigate the effect they have on her. As a rule of thumb, due to her rank she can nullify all spells of three verses or lower. Despite this immunity, she will feign injury to lull enemies into a false sense of victory.


    Riding (Macha): B+

    Macha, demigoddess of horses, was very skilled at riding anything with the concept of a horse attached. This transfers to her existence as the Morrigan. Yet, unlike some of her other skills, this was not one aspect she sought to improve. As such it retained the rank Macha had. Yet it of a great boon as she not only can ride any creature bearing the concept of 'Horse' but she may also ride any modern vehicle without training with the use of this skill. She will often use this to utilize high speed vehicles for her own amusement.


    Territory Creation (Nemian): A+

    A skill the Morrigan took great pains to improve in life, while it's severely weakened as a servant it is still powerful among them. With it she can effectively create a Temple-class druid's grove complete with a fully defended and functioning witch's hut provided she has the proper terrain to work with. Lacking that, she will seek something close to that and grow her territory to act as her base of operations from which she operates. Unlike some servants she is perfectly willing to move out of country to establish it, seeing it as far more valuable to a war effort than any other preparation. She can also maintain some smaller workshops so long as they do not exceed the equivalent of 5 E-rank workshops, though she will only maintain a few as temporary safehouses through which to regain strength for a retreat.


    Item Construction (Nemian): C+

    A skill the Morrigan rarely utilized unless honoring an agreement to make something, as for her granting power was best done with enchanted items. Yet to enchant she needed a base and she had the skills to make her own through Nemian. Unlike many skills this is one of the few that maintains the same power it had in life. She can make several different kinds of items and often makes them to be enchanted. Sometimes however at times she will prepare a magic item rather than a regular item if she lacks the time to create an item and then enchant it, due to her view that modern methods of creating items are 'dullish, boring, and ineffective'.


    Might be nsfw, jus bein safe


    Personality

    Spoiler:
    The goddess of terror, she is an imposing figure in her full glory and it is no accident nor natural talent, although the latter plays a role. She, perhaps like many a foolish king, believe fear and terror are the only ways to gain respect. From her view, she has not been disproven and this belief is strong within her. However this is what all three personalities sleeping within believe. Despite their discordant state they somehow found harmony and so often refer to themselves as one and as such in legend as one. Common traits they display are the love of crows of which they treat like trusted pets that can do things for them they need. Further, they have a love of battle less for the challenge and more for the feeling of strength though they enjoy a good opponent as well. However, shockingly, all display a love of bravery and justice. Often, when she hears a greivance she will seek to right it by forcing some punishment on the bringer of the hardship.

    The common traits end there however as there are small differences between each personality that bleeds through each. Badb Catha for example has a love of fine teas and quiet, often threating anything that disturbs it (She considers crows exempt from this, simply a natural part of her serenity). Yet, outside of this serenity between conflicts and plots she enjoys seeing her schemes come to fruition and cause chaos behind enemy lines. Meanwhile, Nemian takes great pleasure in preparing and subduing enemies with her magical might. However she takes comfort in relying on her master for support and teaching her the ways of the Morrigan style of committing war. Meanwhile the stalwart Macha enjoys nothing more than trampling her enemies underfoot and subjugating any that oppose her or her master and also meting out justice against perceiving wrongdoers. Despite these differences, the three personalities are close and creating discord amongst them is practically impossible. So trustful and close are they that when they speak ill of another for any reason they assume foul play and trickery even when such beliefs have no basis. Of course, this trust does not extend to their master.

    Often, when summoned, the question of their relationship is the first concern. the Morrigan will try to assert dominance, effectively making herself the superior in a relationship. She will make it clear her intentions to subvert command seals and their pointlessness beyond being a snack for her... yet if her master manages to impress her, either by pushing back strong enough without a command seal or a show of clever trickery, she will relent and submit herself to equality rather than superiority. Asking for any less will draw her ire and while she will not seek her masters death she will view him simply as a means to an end. Despite her disposition she always makes preparations for an eventual betrayal, as she inherently distrusts anyone that isn't her. Despite her nature she is quite the honorable soul and will honor the spirit and letter of any agreement she makes, even without a geas. This makes dealing with the Morrigan simple yet complicated to deal with, as while she might seem to be a betrayer, she is not noted in legend for it nor does she seem to pratice it... if anything, she often seems more betrayed that anything, as proven by the actions of the men of Ulster.



    Interactions

    Spoiler:
    Master
    "Servant Caster, to your pleasure"
    "Ready to fight, Servant Rider here!"
    "Servant Assassin. Our enemies shall fall".
    "Now... I'll be taking command here. After all, I'm clearly the superior"

    Medea
    "A fine enough witch... I wonder if she'd willingly follow me?"
    "Mmmmm... no. Her history is of betrayal, no?"
    "Yet I sense it is both ways... a fine supporter she'd be, no?"

    Boudica
    "Reasonable in this class... still a bit of a dullard"
    "A girl with my style! I say we draft her"
    "Too boisterous. Bad fit for our group"

    Cu Chulainn
    "I... see he's here. So he really died there?"
    "Of course... to be expected. I'm glad it was a warrior's death however"
    "..... If only I could do it again... I'd be different... I'm sure"
    "Yes.... if only I had a second chance... it would all be different..."

    Lugh
    "Tsk... out for revenge for your son, huh?... I'm glad I prepare for ambushes...."
    "Not good... he's a warrior god. Our natural enemy... what's our play...?"
    "No matter... we will slay him like them... he's as restrained as we are"

    Brunhild
    "What do we have here? A warrior woman? How novel."
    ".... I wonder... can she measure... to Macha...?"
    "You certainly have strength... beauty... do you have fulfillment though? I wonder..."

    Cain
    "... I... errrr... Badb?"
    "No good... can't relate... too over the top.... is he serious?"
    "I... I think he is. It's... uncanny. Does he really believe half of what he says...? "

    the Scarlet Pimpernell
    "... Pass?"
    "Talented... Driven... Weak..."
    "Is she thought....? I feel with a bit of work she'd be a fine minion..."

    Furbaide Ferbend
    "My, what a talented child... We should keep him"
    "Not a pet... he is a warrior..."
    "Not that it matters... he is still beneath us. I suppose we could quibble over how much though...."

    Stingy Jack
    "..."
    "..."
    "..."
    "One can only be so brazen you know."

    Hektor
    "Oh is it that time already?"
    ".... I hope... not..."
    "Don't be like that Babd.... summer is about fun! Come on, let us partake sisters! We've earned it!

    Foreigner of Twinkling Stars
    "... An adorable child... so full of spirit..."
    ".... Too cheerful... for my taste... naive..."
    "... Yet I wish them only success..."
    "[COLOR="#EE82EE"]Sister...?/COLOR]"
    ".... never you mind, sister. Come... I think we shall let the humans have a rest for tonight.

    Clabhan
    "....I sense great sadness in you..."
    "... Did he say... tir taingire...?"
    "Sadly, I am no fairy. Were I, oh the havoc I could create in that sacred place..."
    "Nevermind that though, warrior... wait... why are you running? why are you running?"





    Noble Phantasm

    Spoiler:
    Strì, Buaireadh, Agus Turas Cogaidh
    The One Goddess Becomes Three


    Type: Anti-Self
    Rank: A+

    A noble phantasm encapsulating the legend of the truth of the Morrigan. No singular goddess is she, she is actually three in one. Deeper though is the truth that these three goddesses are actually merely demigoddesses. This has no effect passively. However, upon the true name activation of this Noble Phantasm, the essence of the Morrigan is split into three distinct servants; Nemian de Fuile, Badb Catha, and Macha Aon Uair Fior. These servants retain the same master and due to the loss of a powerful servant gain a command spell for each. Further they can telepathically communicate with each other perfectly. Finally should they choose to rejoin then the normal requirement of a command spell for each of them is lowered to requiring a single command spell be burned for the lot of them. Despite the seeming benefit of multiple servants, this is in truth more a curse than a blessing for the three desire unity and will seek it. Further, should even one die then they cannot rejoin and the Morrigan's strength is lost completely. Yet, for all it's risk the benefit of three servants working in perfect concert is appealing.


    Mallachd Ulster
    What Befell Ulster, That Day?


    Type: Anti-Army
    Rank: A+

    Another powerful noble phantasm that is the crystalized legend of the men that dared to cross the Morrigan and paid for it. Sometimes attributed to horse demigoddess Macha, sometimes attributed to the Morrigan. The truth means little as Macha is as much a part of the Morrigan as they and the curses all three did are equally valid and mix with the curse Macha placed upon the men of ulster. Passively, it emenates a weakening aura akin to a High Thaumaturgy that poisons the prana around her, making those not her have difficulty using it. Any spell cast with it or mana-based skill relying on it are ranked down once, making three verse spells equal to two verse and High Thaumaturgy half as effective, and even Mana Bursts of EX rank being brought down to A rank. If a magus persists for too long, they may develop symptoms akin to a cough. This is a sign of their Od becoming infected by the poisoned prana and they will need to rest to work on cleansing it... yet if they stay any longer than 1 hour within the 5 meters of poisoned prana around the Morrigan, then their Od will be completely poisoned, affecting the Magus severely. Normal humans are completely immune to this effect.

    On true name activation this Noble Phantasm invokes an ancient curse. This curse inflicts constant, agonizing pain onto an enemy that lasts for 24 hours, or longer if they had been poisoned by her aura prior. The only way to resist this pain affliction is some way to mitigate curses or misfortune; Magic Resistance alone cannot nullify this strong Noble Phantasm. However, the curse is cruel and worsens the stronger the servants End parameter. For each rank they have in that parameter then for a week after the pain the rest of their parameters are ranked down by 1. For example, if a servant has A ranked endurance then their strength, agility, mana, and luck parameters will be ranked down 5 times the week after the 24 hour period of pain. Further if they are of celtic origin this applies to their skills as well, unless the skills cannot normally be ranked down. Yet in spite of its power it is ultimately a curse based on misfortune and mitigation methods for both, even base magecraft, will work and lessen the effects of this Noble Phantasm. Even then however, it is still a strong, devastating noble phantasm for the effect it has. She will often use it when confronted with a real possibility of loss.




    ---------------------------------------------------------------

    There we go. A complete rework of the Morrigan, the second servant I ever made on the forum. Flows a bit better and I'm experimenting with new formatting techniques. Hopefully it pans out well. I was thinking of doing several other things for this servant but in the end I decided to be simple about it. Good luck to the rest of you! Also, congrats on Nuclear getting first blood!
    Last edited by Baron Magnus; November 15th, 2021 at 06:34 PM.
    Rookie Lorekeeper, Amateur Extraordinaire, and all around nasunoob.




  16. #16
    Local Extra Class Aficionado DelRey's Avatar
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    You all sure work fast. When i reworked during my summer project i needed days
    "Let's see the color of your coin, my friend."



    Behold my vault of Heroes.
    Where the Heavens and the Abyss breath the Music of Humanity.


    The King's duty is to provide. And provide, I shall.
    University of Formatting | Gallery of Potential | Memorandum of the Extra Class Kings

    Our Kingdom will grow. And we shall know each citizen.
    Create-a-Servant 4 soon.

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    Your average angst/edge supplier BnEl15's Avatar
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    So it begins. Might start working on something tonight.

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    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by WhiteFrenzy View Post
    So, don't take this too seriously because in the end is an experimental way of reviewing that might change in the future. But I guess imma try for now.
    This is me reading both versions of your sheets and being amazed at your growth, because in the end ain't that the point of this thread?



    CAIN
    (RoydGolden)


    Thanks for the feedback. Originally this Cain was more of a straight evil guy but on remake I decided to add a bit more to his personality to make him a little kinder than he seems, inspired by Piccolo from DBZ.

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    Your average angst/edge supplier BnEl15's Avatar
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    Top-level creator's note
    For this one, it's recommended that you skip the second NP until after you've read the description, as it kinda spoils the character progression. The ">> - I - <<" tags in the Personal Skills section can be opened immediately. There's also a few collapse tags in her basic information that is best opened after the description section.

    Assassin of the Pulp Era
    -- Mother of Superheroes --

    "...You can hear it too, right, Master? The poor, anguished cries of innocents, oppressed by the tyrannical grip of evil... Well, they have nothing more to fear, for I AM HERE! Evildoers beware, for the Scarlet Pimpernel has you in her sights!"


    Source

    "Eh? Why am I a girl, you ask? Er, good question! Um... ah, isn't that King Arthur!? He turned out to be a girl, so me being one isn't such a strange thing, right!? A-Ahem, besides, for a hero, something like gender is irrelevant! We put on masks and do the right thing, and that's how the people will remember us by. Who we are underneath that mask... is irrelevant."


    Class: Assassin
    Other Classes: Saber, Caster, Alter-Ego

    True Name: The Scarlet Pimpernel(?)Baroness Emma Orczy
    Alignment: Chaotic Good
    Origin: 20th century superhero comic books, The Scarlet Pimpernel novels(?)Hungary (19th century)

    Parameters:

    STR: C
    END: C
    AGI: B
    MGI: D
    LCK: A
    NP: B

    Likes: Justice, saving peopleDark and gritty superhero flicks, "heroes of justice", mystery novels
    Dislikes: Villains, failurePeople prying about her secret identity, "her boring self"
    Talent: Swordfighting, stealth, general superhero-ingWriting, swordfighting, escapology, acting
    Natural Enemy: Madame Guillotine (or so she says)
    Armament: Rapier, grappling gun, pistol, smoke bombs, throwing knives
    Catalyst: The original draft of the first Scarlet Pimpernel novel

    Class Skills
    Presence Concealment (A/-)

    Hides one's presence as a Servant. Suitable for spying. It is possible to disappear completely and become nearly impossible to be detected. The rank of Presence Concealment drops considerably when preparing to attack. This skill is sealed and replaced with Espionage whenever Assassin's second Noble Phantasm is active.

    "Ufufu, as a vigilante, it's only natural for me to possess this Skill at its highest rank, no? We're not the type to tackle enemies head-on. In fact, I'd rather avoid combat entirely, if possible. Preferably I'd sneak into some highly-guarded area without a sound, pick off the guards one by one, and confront the big boss one-on-one. Then he'd call for backup... only to find out that no one would be coming. Yes, imagine that! They'll never see it coming!"

    Magic Resistance (D)

    Cancels Single-Action spells. Magic Resistance of the same degree of an amulet that rejects magical energy. Normally a class skill of the Saber-class, Assassin's reputation as a swordsman allows this skill to carry over to her other incarnations. That said, since she is a relatively recent heroic spirit, her rank at this skill is rather low.

    "Magic!? You're saying I actually have to deal with that now!? I've always kept my... adventures on the side of the relatively mundane, so this is a surprise. E-Even so, a true hero is unafraid of new challenges! If vanquishing evil requires me to improvise and pick up some new skills, so be it! After all, a hero must continue to aim even higher in pursuit of justice! Excelsior!"


    Personal Skills
    Espionage (-/A)

    A Skill that does not conceal one’s presence, but rather makes one's presence fail to register as hostile. This Skill causes others to misunderstand one's status, including mistaking one for a kind neighbor, a harmless pebble, or as the most beloved person. At this rank, it is possible for Assassin to infiltrate social events and organizations and gaining trust from others with ease. A wealthy noblewoman by day, and a vigilante by night, it should be no surprise for Assassin to possess this ability. Even so, this Skill is normally sealed and is only usable when second Noble Phantasm is active. In a way, it could be said that this skill does not belong to "The Scarlet Pimpernel", but rather to Baroness E-"HEY, THAT PART'S CLASSIFIED!"

    "Um, I suppose I should introduce myself again for those unfamiliar with my escapades. My True Name is Percy, er, Priscilla Blackeney, a British noblewoman who resided in Paris amidst the tumultuous era of the French Revolution. Yet by night, the people knew me as the Scarlet Pimpernel, vigilante extraordinaire, the hero who saved countless men and women from the cold hands of Madame Guillotine. Therefore, theoretically, I could take off my mask and assume the identity of... Priscilla Blackeney once again, but... why would I? I don't have any more reason to conceal my identity as a vigilante now. Besides, who'd actually prefer the pathetically boring, frivolous Lady Priscilla Blackeney over the Scarlet Pimpernel herself? The readers, er, I mean the people would sooner remember the vigilante over the noblewoman."

    >> - I - <<"Ahaha, 'espionage' might be stretching it a bit, but I am familiar with socialite gatherings, luxurious venues, and the upper echelons of London from back then. Those things had me dying of boredom then, but who knew they could be so useful now? Life does come with surprises every now and then."

    Disengage (B)

    The ability to withdraw from the battlefield in the midst of combat or reset the battle conditions.Bonus effect of returning battle conditions to what they were at the beginning of the match (1st turn) and restores the condition of this Skill to the initial value. Assassin's talent as an escape artist allows her to withdraw from the battlefield with relative ease.

    "A vigilante isn't complete without an emergency escape plan! No matter how prepared you think you are, there's always a chance for your plans to go south. Therefore, whether you're executing a heist or an assassination, you better map out the area and have an escape route ready beforehand!"

    >> - I - <<"A Skill used for running away... It seems fitting. After all, this whole time, maybe I've only been running away from it all. From the truth of the world. Of my own life. Even so, if the Grail deemed it fit to grant such power to someone like me... I'll use it gladly."

    Master of Disguise (A)

    The ability to craft disguises for infiltration. At this rank, Assassin is able to craft a precise and suitable disguise simply by observing her target for a brief moment. These disguises are made using magical energy and can be dissolved at Assassin's will. That said, this skill is strictly limited to "the creation of disguises"; it does not change her body, voice, or Skills in any way. It does increase the effectiveness of her second Noble Phantasm, though.

    "Being a hero is all about donning masks and disguises, wouldn't you agree? Your secret identity is an important thing in your quest for justice. It's like a barrier separating two worlds that should never be one. Without your mask, the mission would be compromised, and worse, innocents might get hurt."

    >> - I - <<"A hero is remembered by their mask, or their iconic logo. Take that away, and people would forget you exist, leaving you free to move as another shadow in the crowd. Of course, I... I knew this better than anyone. No matter how much I dreamed of such things, how much I yearned for a hero, or to become one myself, I can never be a hero like the Scarlet Pimpernel. Even so, so long as I have this mask... maybe I'll play make-believe for a little while longer."

    Heroic Great Principles (Vigilante) (EX)

    A crystallization of Assassin's status as the pioneer of the "costumed vigilante" genre in fiction. Grants a temporary rank up to the necessary parameters whenever Assassin engages in activities commonly associated with heroic vigilantes in fiction. (Infiltration, dismantling and escaping from traps, dispatching enemies from the shadows, etc.) This skill doesn't normally trigger during close quarters combat, but Assassin gains a rank up in all parameters during a situation she perceives as "dire", befitting of a hero who triggers a comeback at the very last second, when all seems lost.

    "A question, Master; what do you think defines a hero? And why exactly do you think people adore them so much? When you mention the word 'hero', I imagine a few things would come to mind; an iconic logo and costume, superpowers, or certain special abilities that place them well above normal humans. That's one thing about being a hero; they're different. There's another thing, though. A hero uses their gifts to help others and make the world a better place, in ways that no average human can. They fight when nobody else could. As a certain old man once said... 'with great power comes great responsibility'."

    >> - I - <<"Maybe it really is a foolish dream, the adventures of the Scarlet Pimpernel, the heroic principles I wrote down... We can't expect some superpowered alien or some orphaned billionaire to swoop in and solve every problem we have, after all. Even so, I'll continue to dream. If those heroes don't exist right now, then I'll become one myself! Then like back then, maybe others will follow in my footsteps and make the world a better place, one day at a time. Yes, I believe I can be content with that."


    Noble Phantasm(s)
    The Mark Accompanying Victory
    The Scarlet Pimpernel

    "This flower is a symbol of hope for the oppressed, and a mark of terror for the unjust! With this, I'll cut down evil so that a bright future may be attainable for all! That is the creed of the one and only Scarlet Pimpernel!"
    ...
    "And so the masked vigilante strikes again!
    "


    Source

    Type: Anti-Evil
    Rank: C+
    Range: -
    Max Targets: 1 person

    The Scarlet Pimpernel's trademark calling card. In the stories, masked vigilante leaves behind a flower she was named after, a scarlet pimpernel, at each of her interventions. The sight of this flower is enough to tell that evil has been vanquished and good has emerged victorious.

    A Noble Phantasm only usable when Assassin's second Noble Phantasm is deactivated, rather than leaving behind a mark of her victory, this flower is sent in advance before Assassin confronts her target. This Noble Phantasm activates the moment her target took notice of the flower. From then onward, Assassin imposes the narrative of "good will overcome evil" upon the world, painting her target as the "villain" she will overcome.

    From then on, whenever the target comes into confrontation with Assassin, they will suffer a temporary rank down to all parameters except luck, which is degraded by two ranks. They are also more prone to making "mistakes" that are advantageous to Assassin, such as missing a vital attack, or inadvertently exposing their blind spot in combat. In a way, this Noble Phantasm can be said to be a pseudo-plot armor for Assassin. That said, this "plot armor" is far from perfect and purely chance-based, though chance increases considerably should Assassin's target possesses an evil alignment. In addition, these mistakes only serve to protect Assassin at the last second, as well as create openings for her to utilize. Ultimately, Assassin still needs to rely on her own skills to defeat her opponent.

    Second Noble Phantasm (locked behind bond 5)
    Hero Before the Mask, Man Behind the Mask
    Vigilante

    "In the end, I really can't let that go now, can I? The author and the vigilante... both are me, and there's no shame in either of them. All right, you've convinced me, Master. It's about time I take off this mask. The Scarlet Pimpernel will take a little break, and Baroness Emma Orczy will stand in her place. Yes, the answer I've been looking for so long... I've found it at last; you don't need a mask to become a hero!"


    Assassin's more casual attire (Source)

    Type: Anti-Unit (Self)
    Rank: B
    Range: -
    Max Targets: 1 (self)

    Assassin's second Noble Phantasm, one that she normally refuses to use under any circumstances. A crystallization of her feat of introducing the genre of "masked vigilantes" in fiction. Assassin popularized the idea of a courageous hero of justice hiding behind a mask. Generally, these heroes also take upon the identity of an unassuming fop to divert suspicion from themselves, like how the unremarkable, frivolous playboy businessman Sir Percy Blackeney is actually the legendary masked vigilante, The Scarlet Pimpernel.

    Embodying the concept of "an unassuming, unremarkable nobody" as the alter-ego to a famous hero, this Noble Phantasm serves to further conceal Assassin's presence as a Servant by convincing the world that "The Scarlet Pimpernel" and "Baroness Emma Orczy" are two different people. This Noble Phantasm activates automatically whenever Assassin takes of her mask, symbolizing her letting go of her identity as the Scarlet Pimpernel. Upon activation, her Presence Concealment is sealed and replaced with Espionage. This makes it easier for her to blend in and gain trust from others.

    In addition, this Noble Phantasm also disguises Assassin's parameters. Instead of her actual parameters, anyone attempting to observe Assassin's status will see that she is a Caster-class Servant with rank E in all parameters except MGI, which is ranked C. It creates the image that Assassin is a harmless literary Caster who barely poses a threat to anyone. Finally, whenever Assassin changes her identity, an effect similar to C-ranked Information Erasure is imposed upon her surroundings, making it difficult for others to recall her alter-ego's actions. Naturally, the effects of this Noble Phantasm would disappear the moment one makes the connection that "The Scarlet Pimpernel" and "Baroness Emma Orczy" is one and the same.


    Description
    Assassin's True Name is The Scarlet Pimpernel, the first vigilante who would later inspire an entire genre of fiction... or so she says. There are a number of inconsistencies in her story, however. For one, the Scarlet Pimpernel lacks the historical basis to qualify as anything more than a Phantom Spirit. Furthermore, s/he was clearly depicted as a male in her original story, not to mention Assassin herself would often trip over her own words whenever the topic of her secret identity arises.

    Whatever the case, befitting of the proud vigilante she insists to be, Assassin is clever, charming, and confident. She's a master at not being seen, and even when forced to fight, she fights stylishly with a form of refined elegance in her every move. Simply put, she is a perfect hero who fights for the people's justice, knowing full well her own limitations, yet still willing to fight to the bitter end for the sake of all that is good. A larger-than-life heroine who everyone should aspire to be... at least, that is how she presents herself.

    Bond 4
    Assassin's True Name is Baroness Emma Orczy, author of the Scarlet Pimpernel novels. Her Saint Graph had been influenced by her most popular work, granting her the abilities of the legendary vigilante.

    Assassin's heroic charisma would seemingly falter whenever the topic of her secret identity comes up. for someone who insists so strongly on keeping her secret identity, she's actually rather terrible at it, especially when around those she trusts. Whenever anyone questions her identity, all that confidence would melt away, as she gets flustered and try to dodge the question or change the topic in a very blatantly obvious manner. It wouldn't take long for her master to deduce her true identity with a little research. Yet even after her identity is no longer a secret, she would still insist on being addressed as "The Scarlet Pimpernel", denying any connection she has to the Baroness.

    This deep-rooted denial stems from the dissatisfaction she felt towards her own life. She does not hate her life, yet according to her, it was boring. Born and raised as a relatively well-off noble, she attended parties and upper-class social gatherings. She even went on to write a number of successful novels and adapted theatrical plays out of some. Yet she feels like that's all there is to her life, and she's missing out on many other things. Furthermore, having lived through the two great wars which shook the world, she developed a certain sense of inadequacy and powerlessness. A desire to vanquish evil and save even more people, which she could not act on as a mere author. Being summoned with the abilities of the legendary vigilante granted her a newfound sense of freedom; explorations, heists, swordfights... adventures that previously existed only in her wildest imagination. She believes that embracing her identity as "Baroness Emma Orczy" would be the same as accepting her boring noble life once again.

    On a related note, this is also why she is generally reluctant to use her second Noble Phantasm. To her, using that is akin to throwing away her much desired "courageous hero of justice" persona, albeit temporarily. To some extent, she believes that the only reason she qualifies as a Heroic Spirit is to serve as a vessel for her most famous creation, and thus she must always maintain the identity of the legendary vigilante while undermining her own boring self; something she cannot do while that Noble Phantasm is active. Therefore, to unlock her true potential, her Master must be able to teach her to embrace her own identity as Baroness Emma Orczy, and help her understand that "a hero is not defined by their mask".


    Bond 5
    Masters who succeed in helping Assassin accept both facets of herself would witness a different side to her; a bright eyed idealist who acts a bit more laid-back compared to her "perfect hero" persona, yet still displays a powerful sense of justice.

    Assassin possesses an (over)active imagination, one that could be called a mild case of chuunibyou in present-day standards. She believes that her deadliest enemy, Madame Guillotine, had been summoned through a case of chain summoning the moment she manifested. While the truth of this claim is unknown, she tends to blame "Madame Guillotine's dastardly conspiracy" for everything, including the most mundane, minor inconveniences. It is also unknown whether she genuinely believes this or if she's just using the name of her archenemy as a convenient excuse for every mistake she makes... Not that anyone buys that excuse either.

    As expected of the "mother" of superhero fiction, Assassin is a fangirl for tales of heroism. She enjoys all the hot-blooded action and daring adventures within those stories. Thus, it is no surprise that she admires any Servant known for their heroism, and could spend hours listening to their stories. Assassin is delighted at the prospect of being summoned in the modern era, as she is curious on stories after her time. After some exposure to modern pop culture, she has developed a certain fondness towards comic book superheroes and videogames. Her obsession with those stories also extend to her speech patterns, where she would often quote stereotypical and borderline clichéd superhero lines like "Surrender, dastardly villain!" or "You'll never get away with this!".

    Assassin's wish for the Holy Grail is a second chance at life. One where she may further experience the freedom she missed out on during her lifetime, as both an author and a hero.


    Lore
    Baroness Emma Orczy (1865-1947) was a Hungarian-born British novelist and playwright. She was born to a noble family, with her father being a famed composer and her mother a countess. Her paternal grandfather was a knight and royal councilor to the Sicilian Order of Saint George, and her maternal grandfather was a member of the Hungarian Parliament. Fearing the threat of a peasant revolution at the time, she left Hungary with her family at a young age, moving to London in 1880. She attended art school for a few years, and while she did not display much talent or interest in art, it was there that she met her husband, the son of an English clergyman.

    After her marriage, Emma began working alongside her husband as a translator and illustrator. She also began writing novels in her spare time. Her first novel, The Emperor's Candlesticks, was released in 1899, although it was considered to be a failure at the time. Undeterred, she wrote a few more lesser-known novels before her most famous work.

    In 1903, Emma and her husband wrote a play based on one of her short stories, The Scarlet Pimpernel. Set during the early stages of the French Revolution, the story features the titular Scarlet Pimpernel (True name Percy Blackeney, a wealthy British aristocrat), and his adventures as a vigilante to save the French royalty from the vengeful executioner Madame Guillotine. The play first ran for four months in London, unexpectedly breaking various stage records and gaining massive audience for every performance. Until now, the play remains as one of the greatest, most famous plays ever performed in Britain. This massive theatrical success also generated huge sales for the novelization of the story, officially marking the start of the Scarlet Pimpernel series.

    After her first major success, Emma went on to write a dozen more sequels detailing more adventures of the Scarlet Pimpernel. The final installment to the series, Mam'zelle Guillotine, was released in 1940. While the series managed to gather a massive following, none of the sequels matched the initial success of the Pimpernel's debut on that play. Either way, there is no denying the Pimpernel's influence on fiction. Stories of his heroic adventures inspired legions of other heroic figures such as The Shadow, Zorro, Batman, and many more to make their debut on fiction. It is for this reason that Baroness Emma Orczy is often regarded as the mother of superhero fiction.


    Relationships
    EMIYA (Assassin):
    *gasp* "This brooding, angsty aura..! You sound like a morally-gray protagonist out of some dark edgy anime! Eh? W-why are you looking at me like that?"

    Antonio Salieri:
    "Wow, I sure didn't expect him of all people to be summonable here! He must be that guy from P*rsona, right?! Hm? Master, what do you mean I can't say that name? What copyright?"

    Charles-Henri Sanson:
    "Ah, Madame Guillotine has been summoned as a guy!? Don't tell me the Throne messed up again, or this is another one of those alternate-universe shenanigans... Eh? You're not her? Is that so..? Hmph, I can't be sure of that just yet. I'll be keeping a close eye on you, 'Monsieur' Guillotine."

    Villains fighting for "the greater good":
    "The 'greater good', you say..? Oh yes, I've known many people like you; a certain revolutionary who wielded the guillotine, a certain mustached man who ruled over Germany that one time... They all claimed that they were fighting for the greater good, and they left a trail of corpses behind them. To some extent, you may think us heroes as hypocrites, for enforcing our own sense of justice the same way you do. However, for all the lives lost, children separated from their parents, families driven apart, countless dreams shattered... we are not the same. Now, en garde!"

    Other Servants related to the French Revolution:
    "If only someone like the Pimpernel existed back then, huh... I know it's wishful thinking, but maybe if he had been there, much of the pointless bloodshed could have been avoided."

    Sherlock Holmes
    "Ah, a fellow pioneer, I see. If that old manwere here, I'm sure he'd love to compare notes with you. Either way, I'd like to hear more of your adventures in his place... Hm? Baroness who? Silly detective, I am The Scarlet Pimpernel, I don't know any boring-sounding Baroness by that name."

    Bond 5
    Jeanne Alter (Summer), Osakabehime:
    "You know, recently, I've decided to take up writing again in my spare time. It keeps me sharp whenever I'm off-duty, not to mention there are still a few plot points I could have expanded on back then. That said, I understand that not everyone is fond of reading thick novels. Then the idea just hit me! That's where you two come in! How about we work together to publish comic books? You're familiar with doujin and manga, right? Western comic books aren't so different from those. We can split the earnings!"

    Charlotte Corday, EMIYA (Archer):
    "Sometimes heroism is a leap of faith, huh... You can never know for sure whether the things you believed to be right and just would end up saving the world, or dooming them. It's a sad thing, honestly. However, that willingness to take that leap of faith, to stand up against injustice when no one else could... that in itself is an admirable thing. Naive as it may be, that's the kind of hero I aspire to be."

    Stan Lee, Jack Kirby, Steve Ditko:
    "I see, so they're my... successors, in a sense. It's certainly an honor to see my stories and the convictions contained within them standing strong against the test of time. More importantly, however, look at them; they're a bunch of middle-aged men armed with pens, papers, and computers. Hardly what you'd imagine a hero to look like. Even so, they managed to bring joy, inspiration, and hope to so many with their works, and isn't that what heroes do? Yes, in the end, you're absolutely right, Master; you don't need a secret identity, a set of powerful superpowers, or an iconic logo to be a hero. The willingness to do the best you can with what you have, all to bring a little bit of joy in a boring, sometimes hopeless world... that, too, makes one a hero."


    Bond CE

    The Scarlet Pimpernel is a vigilante. Possibly the first of her kind.
    She vanquished evil.
    She stole from corrupt nobles, fought against the tyrannical chains of oppression, and protected those who couldn't protect themselves.
    The Scarlet Pimpernel is a hero.

    But she is not the Scarlet Pimpernel.

    Baroness Emma Orczy was an author and playwright.
    She lived with her husband in London's west end, near the market district.
    Every few months, she attended social gatherings as a noblewoman. She exchanged gossips and pleasantries as she wore masks to conceal her boredom.
    She wanted more. Baroness Emma Orczy wanted to become a hero.

    But she could not.

    "No, that's not quite right."

    Then who are you? The hero, or the author?

    "I'm both, and more."
    The woman smiled as she put on her mask, and disappeared under the veil of night.


    Creator's Notes
    Here it is, been wanting to redo this one for a while. Honestly there's not much to change aside from the formatting. I just added some quotes (I particularly enjoyed the superhero references I put in there, though maybe I could've put more. Then again, I'm not that deep in the lore of comic book superheroes either, so you'll have to excuse me for that), bond CE, and a hint of angst that 2019 BnEl15 seemed to be missing. The whole Bond 4/5 thing is a new experiment for me, though. Might experiment further with WF's format for the next sheet that requires it.
    Last edited by BnEl15; November 2nd, 2021 at 09:13 PM.

  20. #20
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    That stan lee and jack Kirby interaction alone makes this sheet into an A++ sheet.

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