Create-a-Servant

[You]

How about Blackbeard C++ ship, that raises strenght with the more servants you have as a crew?

thats situational isn't it?

Drake's NP is A+ an strength increases the more money you have.
Achilles' chariot is A rank and has a speed is proportional to damage clause.

increasing strength because of a factor does not immediately imply + modifer.

[Bird of Hermes]

Dorian is 100% accurate to the novel with his Nible Phantasm portrait and charming of both men and women. Nice job.

Also, does anyone else have anything to say about Ogier?

[Crying]

Ah yes, those Phantasms. So Nibile.

Might want to double check your spelling there, Bird.

Anyway, I guess I can get a bit more in depth if you want.

While making his 'Invincible Sword Arm' a Skill instead of a Noble Phantasm is fine, I could think of a few more interesting effects than 'Boost Strength, Endurance or Agility at the start of a battle'. For example, maybe when he enters a 'contest of arms' with an opponent, he'll always win? Maybe his Strength, Endurance or Agility raises itself to allow him to do so or maybe it's just a metaphysical thing?

He became a figure of national identity during the German Occupation of Denmark, maybe he has an NP or Skill related to that? Maybe he only gets it if summoned in Denmark?

Otherwise, there's really not much to say, you wrote him fairly well. I'm personally not a huge fan of Cortaine, but that's more opinion than it is the NP being bad.

--EDIT--

Oh yeah, and I'm not overly fond of the Love of the Witch skill. As far as I can tell there's no basis for it, it's effects don't really seem very... Nasu-ish to me and I don't really like the name very much.

[Bird of Hermes]

Thanks Crying, that's really helpful! I've combined our ideas for 'Strong Arm' and fixed some grammar. My laptop can't tell the difference between British English or American English so it can get quite frustrating when the words switch to the wrong spelling.

As for Cortaine... There wasn't much I could work with as if was only really called the 'sword of mercy' so I had to combine these vague concepts. It's why I made him Rider and gave him a Mount. I'm not sure what I could do for Denmark, so I think he may just get a fame boost.

[SpoonyViking]

True Name: Dorian Gray

Alignment: Chaotic Neutral (bordering on Evil)

"Bordering"? :-)
I think his NP is one of the few times an EX Rank is justifiable. Other than that, I don't really have anything to add. The sheet is good, he's just so weak I doubt he would be useful in any way in a Grail War.

[SpoonyViking]

As for Cortaine... There wasn't much I could work with as if was only really called the 'sword of mercy' so I had to combine these vague concepts. It's why I made him Rider and gave him a Mount.

Cortana was made "of the same steel and temper as Joyeuse and Durindana" - Durindana (Durandal) being Roland's sword, the one which cleft a rock in two and couldn't be broken even by Roland himself. Also, "Cortana fell on no one without inflicting a mortal wound", as seen, for instance, when Ogier beheads Bruhier (and before that, the sword had also cleft both Bruhier's buckler and his arm in two). Also, if you accept the Prose Tristan's tradition that it used to be Tristan's sword, the blade had already been used to kill a dragon. The Wikipedia article describes the ceremonial sword used by the English kings, not necessarily the sword as used by the legendary characters.

My advice would be to turn it into an A-Rank sword capable of delivering a "super melee attack" - like the "Excalislash" Saber uses on Gilgamesh at the end of "Fate". Simple, but effective.

As for the rest... Mana seems quite high. I'd suggest lowering it to C. Also, I'm not sure Protection of the Fairies should have such a high Rank - Lancelot only has it at, what, A, A+? And he was blessed by the Lady of the Lake, who is a pretty big deal. Finally, in Papillon's description, it should be "crushing", not "cruching". Other than those, seems fine.

Oh, yeah, I can't access the image you used as a faceclaim!

EDIT: Damn it, I thought both posts would merge!

[Caster]

I'd say making the portrait EX-level would be justified, it seems impressive enough to qualify.

[RoydGolden]

"Bordering"? :-)
I think his NP is one of the few times an EX Rank is justifiable. Other than that, I don't really have anything to add. The sheet is good, he's just so weak I doubt he would be useful in any way in a Grail War.

Dorian's an unusual case, in that his NP is incredibly hax (almost complete conceptual immortality) but he's so weak otherwise that it almost doesn't matter. I wouldn't call him 'useless' but it would certainly take a clever Master to make good use of his strengths.

Next up I'm probably going to be working on a sheet for Furbaide (AKA the guy who sniped Medb with a piece of cheese). Wish me luck!

[RoydGolden]

Servant Archer:

True Name: Furbaide Ferbend

Alignment: Neutral Good

Alternate Class: Assassin

Strength- D (C)
Agility- C (B)
Endurance- B (A)
Mana- D
Luck- C
NP- B+

Appearance:

(Boy on the left)

Personality: Archer has a generally cold, gruff personality. He doesn't care about most things, and tends to regard people as 'obstacles' to be avoided. He's intensely loyal to his dead mother, and would do anything for her sake. Needless to say, his wish on the Grail would be to revive his mother. If his Master reminds him of his mother, he may open up to them more. Also has a strong, somewhat inexplicable fondness for cheese.

It's unknown why he is summoned as a young boy despite having committed his most famous feats as an adult. It might be imagined that his ties to his mother- which motivated him throughout his life- granted him a body similar to the one he had when such ties were at their strongest. Or perhaps his Master simply has a fondness for shotas.

Likes: his mother, revenge, cheese
Dislikes: power-hungry women, Connacht
Talent: making use of whatever's on hand
Natural Enemy: Medb


Class Skills:

Independant Action (C+)- Ability to remain in existence even without receiving magical energy from one's Master. At this rank, Archer can remain in the world for one day without established contract. For those he bears a strong grudge against, Archer can remain in the world indefinitely until they are disposed of.

Magic Resistance (D)- Negates Single-Action spells. Magic Resistance equivalent in degree to an amulet that rejects magical energy. Archer was born at the tail-end of the Age Of Gods and never battled sorcery in life, so his rank in this Skill is low.


Personal Skills:

Divinity (E-)- Measures one's aptitude as a Divine Spirit. Though of no known godly ancestry, Archer has the barest shred of divinity due to the peculiar bull horns on his head which are believed to echo the Celtic god Cernunnos.

Clairvoyance (C)- Enhanced visual perception. At this rank, Archer is capable of accurate aim in a four-kilometer range as well as being able to track down moving targets with considerable ease.

Vengeful Spirit (B+)- The nature of a hero whose great feats were inspired by vengeance. When up against someone whom he bears a strong grudge, all of Archer's physical parameters are given a Rank-Up. In Archer's case, it also has the effect of boosting his Independant Action Skill to A until the target is dealt with. After Medb- queen of the neighboring nation of Connacht- murdered his mother (also her own sister) Furbaide swore bloody vengeance upon her. Knowing that she always bathed in a specific lake at a specific time every day, Furbaide practised for weeks to insure he could consistently hit a target- an apple laid upon a post- from that distance. Then, the next time she was bathing, he shot the nearest missile to hand- a piece of cheese- at her which struck her cranium, felling her instantly.

Eye Of The Mind (True) (C)- Calm analysis of battle situation and conclusion of action during a tight spot through "theory of battle". At this rank, the Servant is capable of calmly analyzing situations except during an emotionally challenging battle. Even if the chance of victory is small, he is able to devise a plan to exploit that possibility.


Noble Phantasm:


Cruaidh Càise Urchair- Humiliation Of The Great Queen (B+, Anti-Unit): The embodiment of Furbaide's most audacious feat, that is, striking dead the warrior queen Medb from a distance with nothing but a block of hard cheese fired from his sling. When he realized that he'd forgotten to bring any ammunition, rather then passing up on the shot, Furbaide simply used whatever was available- in this case, a piece of cheese he happened to be eating at the time.

It is possible that this was a later addition to the myth, in order to further the humiliation inflicted on the great queen. Regardless, such a feat was surely not outside of Furbaide's capabilities. As a Noble Phantasm, it allows him to turn anything that can be remotely conceptualized as a projectile into his Noble Phantasm by firing it from his sling. Once fired, the item will behave like an optimal projectile regardless of shape, disregarding factors such as wind resistance that could impede it from hitting the target.

By the way, when I say 'anything' can be used as a projectile, I mean anything. Blocks of cheese, coins, pencils, live animals, even objects larger then the sling itself like cars or buses if Archer can somehow get his hands on them. Once loaded into the sling, the object will compress itself down into a small spherical globe the color(s) of the item in question, but will rapidly return to its normal shape and size once fired for a rather outrageous display. Archer can also infuse these 'projectiles' with his own magical energy which detonates on impact, for an effect similiar to a Broken Phantasm which he can use at will.


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I know what you're all thinking- this is one cheesy sheet. *shot*

This was a fairly easy sheet to write, since his legend was pretty sparse so their was only a relatively small amount of material I had to concern myself with. Very 'focused', in a sense. I thought of giving him Dantes's Avenger Skill in place of Vengeful Spirit, but I decided against it since it's still not really clear what that Skill actually does in terms of lore. NP is pretty clearly a projectile version of Lancelot's Knight Of Honor, though made a bit more over-the-top with the 'can fire stuff bigger then the sling itself' aspect. Also the name in Celtic literally means 'Hard Cheese Shot'.

...Not exactly the most intimidating name for a special attack, I'm aware. But pretty intimidating if you get hit by it. Just ask Medb!

As always, be sure to drop by with comments and criticisms!

[Bird of Hermes]

Thanks for everything Crying and Spoony! I've made amendments to Ogier but as for the faceclaim, maybe it's your device as mine works fine with it.

Furbaide looks pretty fun, he'd probably get on great with Ferdiad for killing Medb in that way.

[ZSB1999]

What? Peter was tall, but also very thin, and had awful health.

"Described as handsome and of unusual physical strength, and standing at some two meters in height, Peter was literally head and shoulders above his contemporaries both in Russia and Europe. Unlike all earlier Russian tsars, he didn’t shy away from hard physical labor and enjoyed a simple lifestyle. He liked conversations over a mug of beer and a good party, although he sometimes drank heavily, forcing his guests to follow his example. Valuing honesty above all, Peter was ruthless in crushing all opposition and terrible in anger, lashing out with his stick even at his highest officials and closest advisors."
Source

While he may have been sickly (possibly suffering from epilepsy) he most certainly wasn't weak. Of course he got worse later in life but servants are (usually) summoned as how they were during their physical peak

[ZSB1999]

Loved the Furbaide sheet and my only complaint/ suggestion is that his noble phantasm might want to be at around B or B+ rank due to having the same effects of knight of honor but better due to the broken phantasm part of it.

And just making sure, but is this the guy that made a pact with Cu, swearing to avenge each other should one of them die? Or was that someone else?

[RoydGolden]

Loved the Furbaide sheet and my only complaint/ suggestion is that his noble phantasm might want to be at around B or B+ rank due to having the same effects of knight of honor but better due to the broken phantasm part of it.

And just making sure, but is this the guy that made a pact with Cu, swearing to avenge each other should one of them die? Or was that someone else?

Hmm. Never heard of anything about a pact with Cu (though he was apparently the guy's foster-son). Couldn't find that much about his legend other then the part where he sniped Medb, honestly. It sounds interesting, if you can find a source for it I might add something related to that into the sheet.

I've taken the advice y'all gave me and raised Cruaidh Càise Urchair to B+, as well as Picture Of Dorian Grey to EX.

[ZSB1999]

It was Conall Cernach that made the pact (I call him by the way, dibs)

[Vagrant]

It was Conall Cernach that made the pact (I call him by the way, dibs)

But but but he's sitting half completed in my "Irish" folder

[ZSB1999]

then, never mind, you can have 'im (probably will do a better job than me too)


I'll ignore the international dibs protocol this once
https://youtu.be/LxbBpFkHQ1U?t=1m47s

[Funderfullness]

Class: Rider
Alternate Class: Striker

STR: C
END: B
AGI: C
MGI: E
LCK: B

Class Skills

Riding (B): Mundane vehicles and beasts can be handled with above average skill.
However, Phantasmal species are beyond his ability. Rider was a capable soldier
and cavalryman, and was a great connoisseur of naval warfare.

Magic Resistance (E): Reduces damage from spells. Rider lived during the
early 20th century, and thus was not exposed to or confronted by a significant
amount of magic, and receives only the token resistance of his class.

Personal Skills

Charisma (B): Suitable to govern a country and lead an army. Rider is widely considered
to be one of the greatest Presidents of the United States in history, and was a great
patron of the military, particularly the U.S. Navy. His public "cowboy" persona was
defined by robust masculinity and was greatly loved and admired by the people.

Battle Continuation (C): Rider is able to survive grievous wounds as long as they are
not fatal. The most famous example of this is when he was shot in the chest and gave
a 90-minute speech before finally allowing medical aid to be administered. A skilled
hunter and anatomist, Rider can quickly determine if a wound is fatal or not and fight
on while ignoring the pain.

Expert of Many Specializations (B): Rider was a man of many talents. In addition to his
political and business acumen, he was a talented hunter, sportsman, martial artist,
author, historian and poet. Rider was said to be the most well-read American politician
of his time. Skills related to these fields can be used with rank C proficiency.

Equipment: Outside of battle, Rider wears a fashionable suit fit for the President of the
United States with only a revolver at his hip. In combat, he changes into a cavalry officer's
uniform and is equipped with a Springfield bolt-action rifle, a Winchester semiautomatic
rifle and a Colt-Browning machine gun. He also has a cavalry saber and a Bowie knife.


Noble Phantasms

Antiquities Act~Conservation of the State (C, Support)

A representation of one of Rider's proudest achievements while President in the form of an unsigned
copy of the Antiquities Act of 1906. The law gives the President of the United States the authority
to proclaim the creation of national monuments from public lands to protect significant natural, cultural
or scientific features. Similar to Territory Creation and Demonic Defender of the State, Rider can
designate any area of land and make it his by affixing his signature to the document, giving himself
a fame boost to parameters and a steady flow of prana, redirected from any intersecting leylines.


USS Connecticut~Flagship of the Great White Fleet (B, Anti-Army, Anti-Fortress)

The most advanced ship in the U.S. Navy at the time of its launch, Rider chose this battleship to
be the flagship for the Great White Fleet, a squadron of battleships that went on an international
tour, circumnavigating the globe. It is thus a symbol of American naval power and nationalism.
The ship is 140 meters long and is equipped with eight 200 millimeter guns for penetrating heavy
armor and twelve 180 millimeter guns for rapid fire. Rider can materialize individual parts of the
ship on land or the entire craft if he finds a body of water large enough.


Panama Canal~Wonder of the Modern World (A, Anti-Country)

The creation of the Panama Canal was considered by Rider to be his greatest contribution to world
trade and international relations. Since the 1500s proposals have been made to make a canal through
Panama to avoid the lengthy and treacherous trip around South America. Rider's commissioning of the
Canal would be the largest American engineering project up until that point. This Noble Phantasm
takes the form of several tonnes of explosives that Rider can set up and remote-detonate by invoking
its name. The resulting blast is large enough to permanently scar the land and rearrange local geography.
Its main weakness is that it can only be used once and takes a long time to prepare.

Background

Theodore Roosevelt was an American statesman, author, explorer, soldier, naturalist, and reformer who
served as the 26th President of the United States from 1901 to 1909. As a leader of the Republican Party,
he became a driving force for the Progressive Era in the United States in the early 20th century.

Born a sickly child with debilitating asthma, Roosevelt successfully overcame his health problems by
embracing a strenuous lifestyle. He integrated his exuberant personality, vast range of interests, and
world-famous achievements into a "cowboy" persona defined by robust masculinity. Home-schooled, he became
a lifelong naturalist before attending Harvard College. His first of many books, The Naval War of 1812,
established his reputation as both a learned historian and as a popular writer. Upon entering politics,
he became the leader of the reform faction of Republicans in New York's state legislature. Following the
deaths of his wife and mother, he took time to grieve by escaping to the wilderness of the American West
and operating a cattle ranch in the Dakotas for a time, before returning East to run unsuccessfully for
Mayor of New York City in 1886. He served as Assistant Secretary of the Navy under William McKinley,
resigning after one year to serve with the Rough Riders, where he gained national fame for courage
during the Spanish–American War. Returning a war hero, he was elected governor of New York in 1898.
The state party leadership distrusted him, so they took the lead in moving him to the prestigious, but
considered by them powerless, position of running for vice president as McKinley's running mate in the
election of 1900. Roosevelt campaigned vigorously across the country, helping McKinley win re-election
by a landslide on a platform of peace, prosperity, and conservatism.

Following the assassination of President McKinley in September 1901, Roosevelt, at age 42, succeeded to
the office, becoming the youngest United States President in history. Leading his party and country into
the Progressive Era, he championed his "Square Deal" domestic policies, promising the average citizen
fairness, breaking of trusts, regulation of railroads, and pure food and drugs. Making conservation a top
priority, he established myriad new national parks, forests, and monuments intended to preserve the nation's
natural resources. In foreign policy, he focused on Central America, where he began construction of the
Panama Canal. He greatly expanded the United States Navy, and sent the Great White Fleet on a world tour
to project the United States' naval power around the globe. His successful efforts to end the Russo-Japanese
War won him the 1906 Nobel Peace Prize.

Elected in 1904 to a full term, Roosevelt continued to promote progressive policies, but many of his efforts
and much of his legislative agenda were eventually blocked in Congress. Roosevelt successfully groomed his
close friend, William Howard Taft, to succeed him in the presidency. After leaving office, went on safari in
Africa and toured Europe. Returning to the USA, he became frustrated with Taft's approach as his successor.
He tried but failed to win the presidential nomination in 1912. Roosevelt founded his own party, the Progressive,
so-called "Bull Moose" Party, and called for wide-ranging progressive reforms. The split among Republicans enabled
the Democrats to win both the White House and a majority in the Congress in 1912. The Democrats in the South had
also gained power by having disenfranchised most blacks (and Republicans) from the political system from 1890 to
1908, fatally weakening the Republican Party across the region, and creating a Solid South dominated by their
party alone. Republicans aligned with Taft nationally would control the Republican Party for decades.

Frustrated at home, Roosevelt led a two-year expedition in the Amazon Basin, nearly dying of tropical disease.
During World War I, he opposed President Woodrow Wilson for keeping the U.S. out of the war against Germany,
and offered his military services, which were never summoned. Although planning to run again for president in
1920, Roosevelt suffered deteriorating health and died in early 1919. Roosevelt has consistently been ranked by
scholars as one of the greatest U.S. presidents. His face was carved into Mount Rushmore alongside those of
George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, and Abraham Lincoln.

[Sesto]

True Name: Dorian Gray

I like it, it's decent. I'm not too fond of the whole "but his true motivation is about her" revealed in a profile. In an actual story I'd see it being a fleeting moment, the moment before his death, perhaps. But it's just a Servant sheet, after all. I can't expect anything more.

I'm not too sure it should be EX, though. Even though the effect is powerful, it's really not that crazy. It's not something akin to Avalon in terms of mystery. I think A would be better.


The truth is I've been writing a fic that involves a Magus who was inspired by Dorian, who has a treasured Mystic Code, very much like the Picture. Maybe that's why I cared so much to post.

[Funderfullness]

Dorian Gray was the first Servant I ever made on this thread and I ranked it B. Apparently that was the right call.

By the time I complied all my Servants though that sheet so was so far below my standards that I left it out.

[JetKinen]

First, i want to say that i really like Furbaide's sheet. The Noble Phantasm its simple enough to not be convoluted and allows for many creative actions

Terry for all of his siliness is a pretty simple servant overall. There is nothing much that can be said about it besides U S A, U S A, U S A
U S A
U S A
U S A
U S A

- - - Updated - - -

I do think that the "Panama Canal" NP not being the Canal itself but a huge bomb, its a pretty weird pick.

I guess it fits with the simplicity of the sheet that doesn't do much with conceptual shenanigans and whatnot besides the land ownership noble phantasm.