ah, haven't had someone make fun of me since i was in high school, Delicious.
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also you forgot to misspell everything, sherlock. if your gonna make fun of how bad i am at posting servants then please do it correctly, now go in there and misspell everything, god its exactly like it was in high school, i had to litterly teach the proper way to make fun of me, yeesh some people!
Is this for real.
yes. don't think to hard about it.
Last edited by venomking; July 23rd, 2017 at 09:01 PM.
At this point, I honestly stopped caring.Originally Posted by Express
The Act of dozing off in the afternoon is a luxury indeed.
Coffee would be nice, though.
[Collection of my Servant Sheets]
Now Revamped!
Same
Erm, it looks like you have a few unresolved issues to work out here...
No I'm just messing with y'all. This is how I dealt with high school bullies, I made them think I enjoyed being made fun of.
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No, my actual promblem is have atusim mixed with ADHD and some insomnia in the mix, so it's really hard to constraint, which makes it diffcult when it comes to grammar.
True name: envy.
Class: lancer.
likes: joy, love, and of course everything she doesn't have, sake.
Dislikes: her history, her master being such a stiff, not being able to drink saki.
Parameters
strength: B
agility: b+
mana:c
luck:E-
endurance: b
backstory: unlike wrath envy was an actual person who's envy was so great upon her death she was made into the sin of envy. her real name is Alice Von Suzel. born into war torn Germany with no family, friends, or wealth of any kind Alice eventually succumb to madness, and grew envious of the rich and any who were loved she grew so envious she eventually killed a rich family who walked down a street when she was around 8. after that she began killing any person ether rich or happy and making a living off what she stole. she used an old lance she found in the rubble. After years of doing so and developed an addiction to saki and Japanese foods, she was eventually cuaght after trying to kill a German Mage in which the Mage killed her in combat, and all record of her was wiped from history. her envy was great even in her death that she was given the throne of envy of the throne of sins, and the lance she used was made a phantasm which represented her entire life.
Personality: envy is fun loving and wishes to enjoy the life she never had, albeit she is still envious of every one and everything including her master she does let this effect her, as she prefers to drown her envy in sake and teriyaki steak, despite her envious nature she feels an almost sisterly need to protect her master and will eventually attempt to make her master enjoy life if she has to use a little force to do so.
Appearance: she is 5 foot 4 with huge oppais she wear a tight fighting full piece suit and has long following red hair with a scar over her right eye.
Personal skills:
vapors of envy, B
she able to turn her envy into a vapor. Which she can use to to increase her presence detection and also use a light but fast method of attack against enemy servants.
vapor familiars, C.
She is able to turn her vapors into familiars and use them to give herself a 360 degree view of a battle field which increases her ability to react to enemy servants.
instincts, B.
she was born with great Instincts as a child which allowed her to kill many individuals and avoid capture for years. her instincts were greatly increased upon becoming envy.
Battle continuation, C
at this rank she can hold her win despite lethal injuries for a few hours a day at most.
Presence detection, B
At this rank it would take presence concealment of at least A class to hide their presence from her.
Class skills:
Magic resistance, D-
as envy was killed by a Mage she does not have very high magic resistance and in most HGW it's master and the caster class that have the highest threats level to her.
NP.
lance of envy, E-EX. Anti phantasm.
This lance is the symbol of how envy lived her life killing those who she was envious of and taking what they had. as such her phantasm per every strike on a servant or there weapon weaken there phantasm and increases the rank of her phantasm until their phantasm is E and hers is whatever class there NP is and takes the ability of there phantasm and sublimes it into a version of that NP which can best be used by her. her phantasm does not work on physical based phantasms(example gods hand) or reality marbles. It takes the appearance of highly rusted bronze spear with dried blood over the tip and has green magic like veins which proves that it has been enhanced by magic(by veins I mean those cool green lines that appear whenever a Mage strengthens them selfs or an object).
Last edited by venomking; July 24th, 2017 at 02:21 AM.
Envy: Wow venomking, I have to admit that this sheet is genuinely pretty interesting, even if a little rough around the edges.
One of your best by far, I'd say. Despite her being the literal embodiment of a deadly sin you toned down the edge to more workable levels, so while she's still definitely edgy she manages to come off as a more balanced character. A tragic villainess for sure, but I could imagine her ending up as an anti-hero sort of character under the right circumstances. Her NP powering up by stealing strength from others definitely fits the concept of envy as well.
On to more in-depth commentary... of the Class Skills you listed, none of them are actually those of the Lancer Class except Magic Resistance. Either scrap them or move them to the Personal section. Out of curiosity, since Envy's seemingly German is there any particular reason behind her fondness for Japanese food? (Assuming you meant sake- Japanese wine- instead of "saki", since as far as I can tell the latter isn't a real food)
...Also, unironic use of "oppai" in her appearance section is pretty cringeworthy, no offense.
Also, just because you PMed me asking for spelling/grammar corrections here's a more detailed critique... (Personal notes shown in blue)
Hope you appreciate this since I put a fair deal of effort into it.
Last edited by RoydGolden; July 24th, 2017 at 02:03 AM.
Thank you, I'll edit it right now.
Also the reason for her love of Japanese food is likely because it was on one of the she ambushed, liked the taste and it become a personal preference and one she could afford do to the fact that she killed many rich individuals.
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Also do you think pride would be an archer or a saber.
I'm choosing to take this light-heartedly, so no warning, but this sort of post steps close to the line. Be careful with personal jabs.
Venomking, never mind the bloody spelling and grammar, your posts are still atrocious. Actual thought will make them better. Do make them better, or we'll run with everyone else's assumption and ban you as a troll.
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Sorry, I try to avoid satirising others... although I'm having difficulty telling where the line is considering how many times people said I was insincerely apologetic and fishing for compliments. If I'd expanded what I wrote a bit more maybe it wouldn't have come across in such an offensive manner.
My plans actually didn't include misspelling, I was going to get rid of Imperial Privilege and replace it with Favour of Create-A-Servant, the skill would be mostly the same but allows for you to acquire a skill based on those who had given you genuine compliments or many backhanded compliments. Pioneer of the Stars would allow for a re-organisation of your own Personality, Appearance and Parameters given how you are one who comes from the "False Throne of Heroes" (Create-A-Servant). I can't remember much else from my main plans.... Sorry that it came across so bad.
Last edited by sherlock1110; July 24th, 2017 at 04:46 AM.
These are my Servant and Master sheetsI hope you enjoy reading them:
Servant And Master Sheets
You put way too much thought into this.
Then again, I satirised Royd, so I'm clearly not one to talk.
It's the line between good satire and just being offensive. Even if I have qualms with a person I cannot shut my ears to their good aspects, that wouldn't even help me it would just make me come across as an asshole. Which is kind of what happened since I wrote up a bit of the sheet, decided to post it, then went to bed -_-
Bad decisions on my part aside (I probably forgot to mention that Pioneer of the Stars also allowed for the manipulation of the Enemy Servants sheet, not to change it's information but to redo it's formatting to annoy the Master of the Servant) your Royd sheet will not be forgotten. You cannot escape the past. OOGA BOOGA
Saber, it's seen as the best class by many of the Masters in the Holy Grail War, generally ranking high in Parameters, Skills, Noble Phantasms and self-sacrifice potential. Admittedly Independent Action from Archer also makes sense. Sorry if that didn't help too much, it isn't the clearest of advice.
Last edited by sherlock1110; July 24th, 2017 at 04:46 AM.
These are my Servant and Master sheets
Servant And Master Sheets
Have you been watching High School DxD lately?
As for Pride's class... Has everyone forgotten our favorite Gilgilman already?
Probably best to make Independent Action EX rank for Pride, you gotta make him about equal to or more egotistical than Gil once you type in his personality, you already have a shinning example there for you to reference. If I can remember correctly, pride was supposed to be the strongest or the most evil of the deadly sins, so you can probably implement that. Of course, you can also subvert expectations by making pride the weakest one. Going back to personality however, make pride more 3-dimensional by giving him some flaws or other traits besides his ego. For example, you could have his narcissism stem from an inferiority complex, or making him see people who have somehow bonded with him on equal standing with himself.
Just some tips if you're making pride's sheet already.
Edit: Also once you start with lust's sheet, please don't make it Kiara 2.0. Just don't.
Last edited by chem24; July 24th, 2017 at 11:01 AM.
I already explained this, I'm bad at grammar cuase I have autism and ADHD so I don't the focus or ability to process like y'all do so grammar becomes extremely difficult. That's why I'm 56 and yet still "the" incorrectly sometimes.
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Also please don't ban people for making fun of me, it ruins the experience for that person, I just say what I always say you can poke fun at me but I'll poke fun at you.
How... How is that an argument for making Pride an Archer? "This one Archer is very proud, so Pride should be an Archer". "EMIYA is a Utilitarian, therefore John Stuart Mill should be an Archer". I was going with your thinking with Independent Action but to point out that proud characters aren't always independent look at Pride from FMA.
Kiara already done the idea of Lust or Desire very well. So it would be difficult to surpass that. It sets the bar high but I can see ways around it, so I'm looking forward to seeing it
Last edited by sherlock1110; July 24th, 2017 at 11:37 AM.
These are my Servant and Master sheets
Servant And Master Sheets
Kiara is literally the Beast of Pleasure in the Nasuverse. She practically is the Deadly Sin of Lust at this point...Kiara already done the idea of Lust or Desire very well. So it would be difficult to surpass that. It sets the bar high but I can see ways around it, so I'm looking forward to seeing it
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