Create-A-Servant 2

[Kabalisto Koga]

nice Archer Girl! i would like to see her with Atalante in one time !

Does somebody know if it exist also mortals whose vowed to Artemiss brother Apollo like Ipighenia,Atalante?

[Shiki-pon]

Not exactly, no, since Apollo didn't really have anything much to vow upon, unlike Artemis (chastity). There's lots of people related to Apollo and/or blessed by him, though.
The most famous ones would be Apollo's son Asclepius (the legendary healer) and Orpheus (who may or may not be related). Others include Admetus, Phemonoe and King Eurytus. There's also quite a few more minor people related to him.

[RoydGolden]

nice Archer Girl! i would like to see her with Atalante in one time !

Does somebody know if it exist also mortals whose vowed to Artemiss brother Apollo like Ipighenia,Atalante?

Closest I can think of is Hemithea, a mortal girl who was saved by Apollo and turned into a minor god.

Funnily enough, she was actually my first idea for a "huntress Servant" (inspired by her portrayal in Riordan's The Dark Prophecy), but there was so little to worth with I quickly settled on Iphigenia instead.

[Bird of Hermes]

Iphigenia: Alright, so time for nitpicking.

Firstly, I don't really like the Hunter of Artemis skill. Atlante doesn't have a skill like that and she's the most famous hunter of Artemis so Iphy doesn't really have any justification for it. I think just having Clairvoyance or Eye of the Mind works plenty.Next is the Goddess Metamorphis skill. I'm okay with it but I think the magic abilities should be limited to the Caster class, you could have it at rank E and say it's higher under the Caster class. I also had to do a little background reading to piece the sheet together so it could use some more in the fluff department.

[RoydGolden]

Iphigenia: Alright, so time for nitpicking.

Firstly, I don't really like the Hunter of Artemis skill. Atlante doesn't have a skill like that and she's the most famous hunter of Artemis so Iphy doesn't really have any justification for it. I think just having Clairvoyance or Eye of the Mind works plenty.Next is the Goddess Metamorphis skill. I'm okay with it but I think the magic abilities should be limited to the Caster class, you could have it at rank E and say it's higher under the Caster class. I also had to do a little background reading to piece the sheet together so it could use some more in the fluff department.

I wondered the same thing about Hunter Of Artemis, but I wanted to give her a Skill that lets her be a serious threat despite her weak stats and general lack of offensive ability. Also, this is hardly the first time a later Skill has been added that begs the question of why earlier Servants didn't have it (such as Arturia lacking Military Tactics despite winning twelve impossible battles), so I didn't worry about it too much.

On Goddess Metamorphosis, I figured the opposite. Caster!Iphigenia would emphasize her role as Hecate to the point where a specific transformation Skill would be unnecessary. I also see what you mean about the lack of fluff, but personally I feel I did a fairly good job of scattering info on her lore and personality throughout the sheet.

Thanks for the commentary Hermes!

- - - Updated - - -

After considering Hermes's advice, I just added a bit more fluff to Iphigenia's Goddess Metamorphosis Skill explaining how it would change if she were summoned as Caster.

[King of Padoru]

Iphigenia: Alright, so time for nitpicking.

Firstly, I don't really like the Hunter of Artemis skill. Atlante doesn't have a skill like that and she's the most famous hunter of Artemis so Iphy doesn't really have any justification for it. I think just having Clairvoyance or Eye of the Mind works plenty.Next is the Goddess Metamorphis skill. I'm okay with it but I think the magic abilities should be limited to the Caster class, you could have it at rank E and say it's higher under the Caster class. I also had to do a little background reading to piece the sheet together so it could use some more in the fluff department.

I think it's kinda justified that Atalante doesn't have that skill because you lose it if you break the vow of chastity (although she only attempted to break it, but I guess that can count too?)

Goddess Metamorphosis should be a NP like Ágrios Metamórose instead of a skill IMO

[RoydGolden]

Goddess Metamorphosis should be a NP like Ágrios Metamórose instead of a skill IMO

Iphy has two NPs already. For a pretty minor mythical figure, I don't think she really needs more.

[Shiki-pon]

Besides, isn't Goddess Metamorphosis an established Skill already?

[Saron]

Source: (X)

Name; The Unknown Warrior
Class; Berserker
Armament: None
Alignment: Chaotic Mad
Source: ???
Attribute: Man
Traits: Human

Stats:
Strength: C+
Agility: B
Endurance: A
Mana: E
Luck: E
Noble Phantasm: A

Likes: Worthy opponents, the peace after war
Dislikes: Kings, Commanders, Generals, Oh My!
Talents: Mindless fodder
Natural Enemy: Anyone with Charisma

Skills

Class Skills:
Madness Enchantment: EX
The state of being lost to madness. Can be said to be both sane and insane, with fragments of his minds lost in battle highs and others almost priest-like. These infinite voices drive Berserker forward in combat and achieving their goal.

Personal Skills:
Expert of Many Specializations: A+
The ability of having a large mental inventory of a massive variety of subjects. Ranging from basic sewing work to advanced vehicle repair, Berserker seems to gain knowledge by the second about literally anything, including fighting styles and opponent identities.

Battle Continuation: A
The ability to survive fatal wounds and fight even after the point of death has been reached. Even with the destruction of the spiritual cores, the Servant can stay materialized for a limited period of time to finish a fight or retreat to possibly repair one’s injury. Instead of being a true bodily toughness, this skill is only achieved through the collective sheer force of will Berserker possess to fight until his body is incapable of even moving.

To Another’s Glory: EX
Regardless of circumstances, Berserker will always be used by someone else to increase their power and position. By using him as a stepping stone, one is guaranteed a chance at greatness at the cost of Berserker’s happiness and life. The greatest of curses, large fragments of Berserker willingly accept this burden willingly, but all of him wants to be rid of this burden for himself and for everyone who has ever lived and died for someone else’s cause.

Noble Phantasm

Sons of Mars

We Shall Live Forever and Never

Anti-Unit (Self)
A++
Targets: 1
Range: ~

Berserker is nameless, a nobody who died in a random war in a random time period. He is not alone in his namelessness, millions of soldiers share his fate. Of being forgotten, crushed below the feet of heroes and kings alike, dying for their fame and power. Their world was nothing but quiet servitude, for a cause they may or may not have even believed in

Sons of Mars is their worlds, their dreams and fears and deaths all fused together into a world with no name. This Inner World is an infinite expanse, with the mustard gas ridden trenches of the World Wars, the snow ridden cities of the Russian Civil War, the hill of swords from the battle Battle of Camlann, to the bloodstained fields of the American Civil War, countless battles have forced themselves deep into the minds of the men who fought them, and even in death, not one has forgotten these battlefields.

With a breath, the weapons of these battles can forced from this inner world into the outer world, forcing their way through Berserker’s flesh. These weapons bring with them the fighting style of its wielder, letting the main host wield the weapon with the same proficiency as the wielder.

If Berserker needs to, he can take it a step further, and bring someone from the outer world into the inner world. In this world, there is only one place an outsider can even comprehend and truly understand.

The fragment of the Nameless World materialized to outsiders is a graveyard, sprawled out with makeshift graves of swords stabbed into the earth, rifles standing on their bayonet with a helmet on it, to small tones written in kanji and simple poles of wood, inscribed with simply numbers.

A mere fraction of the soldiers can materialize here, their only combat effectiveness is sheer numbers against a Heroic Spirit. They seem as if they are mindlessly chasing the opponent, but they are not mindless, each one has their own free will and desires. Some want to fight war forever, others want to be released from the battlefield that still holds onto them, and some just want to see their family again. Yet these dreams could not be fulfilled while underneath a ruler, and each soldier will ramp up in aggression drastically if fighting their former commanders.

Lore

To speak of Berserker’s past is not an easy one, as to speak of his past is to speak of every battle in history, and every soldier who lost their lives in those battles. The concept of remembering and mourning these nameless soldiers is tragically new, only dating back to the First World War with the British Tomb of the Unknown Warrior, mourning a British soldier who died on the European battlefield.

This concept quickly spread to other countries. Portugal, Italy, and the United States erecting similar monuments that even though the soldiers names have been forgotten, they shall be remembered. But, these monuments can only capture so much.

Can they capture their laughter? Their small individual quirks in their personalities? Their belief or lack of belief in their ideals or cause? The grief or joy they felt when they first killed a man? Their bitterness and sadness at their deaths?

They knew what lay beyond Death, but they would not stand it. Together they formed into one malformed soul behind the face of that single British soldier, existing not in the Throne or our world, but somewhere else entirely. A plane beyond that of mortal men, a Plane Beyond Death.

And there they’ve waited, more and more souls joining their ranks as their resentment against the world of men continues to expand for abandoning them.

Personality

Berserker’s mind can’t be simply called a “collection” of souls, it’s a “reservoir” of seemingly neverending men, women, and even children who all want to be freed from not only each other, but of the Cycle of Rebirth entirely. They went through their hell, they deserve heaven.

In their initial summoning, the dominant spirit tends to be the British Unknown Warrior, the stereotypical aspects one would expect from a British soldier dominating his mindset in favor of his unknown true personality. Tea and crumpets, “God Save the Queen”, being on a massive high horse of national pride, and so on. Thankfully, he was spared the “terrible teeth” stereotype. But if you asked him anything about his general or King, he’ll vehemently spout vile slander at them, calling them bastards and whoresons. To him, war is the one thing greater than hell for no one is safe except for those who play soldiers like chess pieces.

If you let him, he could come up with an insult for anyone who’s so much as had a bodyguard, all of them are nothing but mere cowards who can’t fight their own battles. If they want to earn his respect, they have to not just defeat him, but fight their own battles as long as they shall live.

<I>

Putting this out was an absolute nightmare to be perfectly frank. The Skills were easy, but the Noble Phantasm feels off and his personality is just “Zero Chill: British Edition"

[King of Padoru]

Besides, isn't Goddess Metamorphosis an established Skill already?

You're right, I completely forgot about its existence. My bad

[Express]

@Nameless Solja Boy
Well, you did say the Noble Phantasm was difficult to piece together, which I can definitely understand so I'm more forgiving of le generic army summon in this case because that's kind of his whole shpiel.
My only question is what exactly does To Another's Glory do? It says it's a curse, but not its actual function.

[Saron]

@Nameless Solja Boy
Well, you did say the Noble Phantasm was difficult to piece together, which I can definitely understand so I'm more forgiving of le generic army summon in this case because that's kind of his whole shpiel.
My only question is what exactly does To Another's Glory do? It says it's a curse, but not its actual function.

To Another's Glory is a curse on Berserker that means that someone is bound to use Berserker for their own goal to succeed at the cost of Berserker's own happiness and life. Kinda like Kerry's "Affections of the Holy Grail" but reversed.

[Kabalisto Koga]

To Another's Glory is a curse on Berserker that means that someone is bound to use Berserker for their own goal to succeed at the cost of Berserker's own happiness and life. Kinda like Kerry's "Affections of the Holy Grail" but reversed.

Good iidea Saron i must admin !
Two Questions :If i have understand the Hougu he can use every Mass-weapon that were used in the Wars of history ?
and how is his Battle tactic,lke when he must fight against Lancelot(Berserker)?

[RoydGolden]

If i have understand the Hougu he can use every Mass-weapon that were used in the Wars of history ?

I'm not sure about every weapon, since it'd be pretty OP if he could just drop dozens of nukes on opponents. Every weapon used by individual soldiers would make more sense.

[King of Padoru]

Or making large-scale weapons like nukes require time and materials

[venomking]

"I since a glorifull battle ahead, come master the fun tis awaits us."

true name: ryderch hael.
Class: saber.
alighment: lawful good.
Likes: sweets, glory, and fighting.
Dislikes: cowerdess, trickery, dullness.

Parameters:
strength: B+.
agility: B.
Mana: D.
Endurance: B.
Luck: E.
NP: A.

Armament:
prana armor
he is able to put upon himself a armor which takes the form of an armor he perceives in his mind, and is made entirely of mana

Background: saber was born to tyrant of a king, at a young age he was taught the ways of the sword, and after his father died he took up rue,I got the kingdom, at some point in his life, and one of his most prominent feats he lifted the psword dyrnwyn, a feat prominent becuase only a brave man without dieting. This sword he would use in many battles, and was one of his most prominent feats as only brave man can actually life it. he was a great King, and when when one of his friends was attacked he charged into the battle himself. He died a reletivly peacefull feat, and was recorded into the throne of heroes.

Personality: he is a kind and honorable man, seeking honor in everything he does. His personality is like a more countrol led version of iskandors own personality, he will attempt guide his master, thou is constant need to help others tends to be a hibderance to both his masters daily life, and wallet as saber uses his masters money to give to the poor, every time he sees someone poor, he will teach his master sword play, and due menial chores for his master in exchange for constantly uses up his masters wallet.

Class skills:

Maguc resistance
rank: B
Cancels spells with a chant below three verses. Even if targeted by High-Thaumaturgy and Greater Rituals, it is difficult for a Servant to be affected.

rideng.
Rank: B.
Vehicles and horses can be handled with above average skill. However, cannot ride the likes of Phantasm Races such as Monstrous Beasts.

personel skills:

Bravery
rank: B
Negates the effect of mind-altering spells and other such effects which would hinder combat performance.

Guardian Knight
rank: B.
Guardian Knight temporarily raises defensive power when protecting others. Raises Stamina by roughly one (+) modifier per rank from D.

Prana burst.
rank:A
Raises Strength, Stamina, and Agility by one rank, but consumes 50 Prana per minute as long as the effect is continued.

Instinct
rank: C
is most effective when used for the purpose, and only works upon direct observation.



NPs:

name: drynwyn
title: "sword if the truly brave."
rank: A.
One if the many swords forged by the fairies, the sword is in fact a highly advanced summoning tool, the glyphs written the blades hilt summons a livening flame that can be counted as a phantasmic beast thou it lacks the will to be called such. once summoned the flame surrounds saber in a protective circle of flame, when saber attacks the flame souriunds soroubds his sword, and when a servant enters the circle the flame will attack them. This gives start the perfect glance and defense and offense. The sword itself is highly durable and can block strikes from the likes of Excalibur.

Curse of drynwyn.
Title: "no cowered may use the blade, lest they face death."
Rank: B.
Should a servant who does not posses a rank in bravery touch the hilt of the blade, the summoned flame attack them from the inside of there body, dealing great amounts of damage. However this ability is two sided should the servant have a rank higher then saber in bravery the sword will become part of there legend regardless as if they have ever seen the weapon if life. And thus become there noble phantasm leaving saber with no noble phantasm.

[Express]

This might be the best sheet you've ever done, and that's even given too many skills and Dyrnwyn being wanked.
Well done on improving.

[Saron]

Or making large-scale weapons like nukes require time and materials

In my own opinion, things like nukes aren't soldiers' weapons, they're the weapons of governments. So anything more advanced than a missile launcher is out of his NP's limits.

[venomking]

Thx.

- - - Updated - - -

Whoops looks like a put Praha armor in the skills section, let me remedy that.

- - - Updated - - -

Drynwyn isn't really wanked, it's just has really good defensive and offense abilities. not like other A rank weapons, that doesn't even include the fact that if an opponent has bravery then him and touches the hilt the blade he becomes NP less, and his openenents gets a new NP to there arsenal.

[RoydGolden]

Hael: This is probably one of your best sheets, if only because it's a lot sparser then usual and has less chances for your usual grammar issues to pop up. If anything though, it ends up deviating too far to the other extreme.

His Skills are all very generic and there's no explanation given for why he has any of them. A bit more flavor text would be nice here, especially for ones like Mana Burst and Imperial Privilege which have no obvious basis in the lore you provided.

On the other hand, his NPs are actually very nice and well fleshed out. The way you interpreted Drynwyn's "burst into flame" ability is much more creative and interesting then I've seen in other Hael sheets. My only critique here is that his first NP has no listed rank.