Freedom isn't really a sin, though. Something to that effect could work though. Laxity, Indulgence or Abandonment perhaps?
Freedom isn't really a sin, though. Something to that effect could work though. Laxity, Indulgence or Abandonment perhaps?
Daneel Rush's already done that with Chiyou.
Edit: Also, Pity and Comparison don't sound like sins when you hear their name either.
Last edited by Alexcoene; October 20th, 2018 at 05:07 PM.
Also, unless you're an extremely hardcore escetic, "Pleasure" isn't really a a sin either.
Depends on what you're getting pleasure in tbf.
"Here's a bangin lil' tune about takin' on The Man!"
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Richard the Lionheart and Philip Augustus
A king is naught but a sword leading his country, a king's sword leads the king in turn, for the glory of France, i have joined this crusade to retake not the holy land, but humanity itself and i hope that god lets me to not leave it.
Faceclaim
True Name: Philip II Augustus of France
Class: Saber
Alignment: Lawful Good
Origin: France
H/W: 181cm/55kg
Likes: Pious individuals, Trustable Allies.
Dislikes: Enemies of France, enemies to the throne
Talent: Warfare
Wish: ''To continue what he started in Jerusalem''
STR: C
END: B
AGI: B
MNA: D
LCK: A++
Class Skills
Personal Skills
Noble Phantasm
Personality/Etc
Notes
Last edited by massive_jojo_reference; October 20th, 2018 at 06:19 PM.
Isnt every threat to the deities also a threat to the mankind actually ?
could you explain me what meaning the numbers have are they related to the sins ,if no please correct me?
Thats reminding me must follow a beast servant a certain sin ,in particular because i had a idea of a Beast Nemesis(Goddess) profile ?
why should they be sinss, ?especialyy Comparison ??
Last edited by Kabalisto Koga; October 20th, 2018 at 07:30 PM.
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When you wake a Dragon in his Lair...
Philip II: His personality and Personal Skills are well-done, and I do like the sense of humor you gave him. Makes him more interesting than your usual "honorable knight" character. That said, his NP is really bland and kind of unfitting. The only part I can see that connects to Philip's actual legend is how it turns the surrounding territory into France, and even that doesn't seem to have any mechanical effects (though I presume it'd strip away fame bonus from non-French heroes). Not the mention the fact that he's destroying his own country along with the enemy is kind of nonsensical conceptually.
If you want to keep the "embodiment of France" idea, maybe have it so when he invokes the true name, Philip can perform a single strike with the combined power of all the citizens and armies of France simultaneously? Or, stretching that concept a bit more, maybe being the First King of France would allow Philip to temporarily channel (in an Imperial Privilege-like fashion) Skills and abilities of other great French heroes like the Paladins of Charlemagne?
Maybe not as flashy visually, and still not the most amazingly original concepts, but either of those would be more fitting than what he has now IMO.
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As I see it, "Comparison" is basically envy + racism. Comparing yourself to others and either resenting them for having more or hating them for being different than you.
Last edited by RoydGolden; October 20th, 2018 at 07:24 PM.
Thank you for praise, but expanding on the beam part a little bit,
It merely reflects off of the land that was turned into France and doesn't destroy it, since its the land turned into France is what Powers it in the first place.
But with that said i will consider reworking the NP by your guidelines if i ever have the time to, i'd also like to expand the short story in the beginning of the sheet, something like a story of the two's relationship and the retelling of third crusade events.
Fair enough. I admittedly did misunderstand that part. Though, since you did mention the beam leaves massive scorched areas and the surrounding area becomes France once he invokes it, wouldn't that (depending on the range it's fired at and how wide the "surrounding area" is) still equate to damaging France?
FC Link
Alternate Classes: Rider
True Name: Dick Turpin
Alignment: Neutral Evil
Origin: Britain (18th century)
Armament: Sword, pistol
Parameters:
STR: D
END: E
AGI: C
MANA: E
LUCK: C
NP: C
Skills
Noble Phantasms
Description
Lore
^ A pretty good sheet. I've often wanted to write about Servants who use guns but I always struggle as to create interesting skills and noble phantasms that are unique and not just something like "always hit their target".
----
As for myself, I'm in the middle of writing a Sheet about a certain knight and I'm noticing that the Lore section is getting increasingly longer - mainly because I give a quick paragraph of how each quest got him all the Skills and NPs he's got. And I can't help but wonder, do people really care? Do people really want to read a long Lore section?
"Here's a bangin lil' tune about takin' on The Man!"
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Depends on the entertainment value as far as I'm concerned. I mean, if it's just an extended retelling, I wouldn't see the point.
There's also the question of whether or not there's much deviation from the historical figure/legend in the Lore. The Lore section can also tell a lot about the character (more so than the Description/Personality section in some cases).
In other words, if the Lore has additional content or entertainment value, I'd read it. Otherwise, it's skimming for me.
Then again I'm fairly lazy when reading sheets, and am mostly interested in the parameters, skills and NPs.
Yeah, I totally get that.
As the old saying goes "truth is gained not through interrogation but through slips of the tongue" so I'll throw in some dialogue to reveal bits of their personality rather than simply telling you what it is.
"Here's a bangin lil' tune about takin' on The Man!"
(Check out my Super Special Awesome Servant Compendium here)
I personally read the whole section only if I don't have any idea about the Servant or if it's written in an interesting way, and I think that's what most of people do. That's why I usually try not to give my sheets a long-ass lore (then again, Juana's was 3 pages long...)
AWAKEN MY RULERS
Out of curiousity, how do you do that pic behind the Servant Class Card trick?
It'd be super useful to keep really large FC's from stretching out the page.
"Here's a bangin lil' tune about takin' on The Man!"
(Check out my Super Special Awesome Servant Compendium here)
Just use the Collapse tags, putting them like so: [ COLLAPSE="card image"]faceclaim[/COLLAPSE ]. Padoru shared this secret with me.
Ah, thankies.
"Here's a bangin lil' tune about takin' on The Man!"
(Check out my Super Special Awesome Servant Compendium here)
I'm like a few days late but now I'm glad I didn't choose Typhon as my contest entry.
I'm a little disappointed he doesn't have a NP, given that he definitely does have enough things that would qualify (Harpe and the Typhonomachy itself, for example), but I like what you've done and the FC is dank