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Thread: Create-a-Servant

  1. #14441
    夜魔 Nightmare ZSB1999's Avatar
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    You could give him Independent Action to show how he completely ignored parliament. Or a Noble Phantasm for Kulturkampf boost to damage against catholics and non-protestants in his territory. Berlin Conference could make up for territory creation, with the city where the grail war is being split up into pieces and Bismarck gains advantages he would have from a territory in those areas (He would only get like 2/10 of the city because Germany didn't receive much of Africa)


    Blood and Iron (Blut und Eisen) could be a two part noble phantasm. While it is not active he could get a large boost to persuasion, but when activated all of his skills that have to do with persuasion are lost, and he gains a huge boost to his combat abilities, or he unleashes a huge attack of some sort. You could also boost item creation to allow him to create top notch rifles like the ones Prussia had at the time. After all those rifles played a big part in the Prussian's/German's defeat of France

    And now for otter von bismarck

    Spoiler:
    Last edited by ZSB1999; May 15th, 2016 at 01:03 AM.

  2. #14442
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ZSB1999 View Post
    You could give him Independent Action to show how he completely ignored parliament. Or a Noble Phantasm for Kulturkampf boost to damage against catholics and non-protestants in his territory. Berlin Conference could make up for territory creation, with the city where the grail war is being split up into pieces and Bismarck gains advantages he would have from a territory in those areas (He would only get like 2/10 of the city because Germany didn't receive much of Africa)


    Blood and Iron (Blut und Eisen) could be a two part noble phantasm. While it is not active he could get a large boost to persuasion, but when activated all of his skills that have to do with persuasion are lost, and he gains a huge boost to his combat abilities, or he unleashes a huge attack of some sort. You could also boost item creation to allow him to create top notch rifles like the ones Prussia had at the time. After all those rifles played a big part in the Prussian's/German's defeat of France.
    Those ideas are really good. I'd seriously suggest Crying take at least some of them.

    Also, you have to admit, there is some major irony in making an NP off the speech where he said that eloquence isn't enough to decide wars which... lets him decide the War through eloquence. Honestly, that sounds more like a generic 'orator' NP rather then anything specific to Bismarck himself (other then the name, of course).

    I'd definitely suggest buffing his offensive capabilities to some degree, so he has more options then just talking his enemies to death. He was a great military leader, not just an orator, so its unfair for only the latter aspect to be emphasized in his sheet. As it is he's a pretty boring Servant all around (no offense, Crying).

    Take my Churchill for instance. He also has a oratorical NP named after his most famous speech (as well as a unique Skill granting bonuses to rhetoric) but I gave him another NP based off his (rumored) invention of tanks to set him apart from just 'really good speech-writer/politician', which is... rather underwhelming as a Heroic Spirit, needless to say. Obviously it's different since Churchill actually fought in the front lines whereas Bismarck, far as I can tell, never did.

  3. #14443
    僕はね、ヒマワリになりたかったんだ mewarmo990's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RoydGolden View Post
    There's no precedent for a Heroic Spirit straight-out not having their Class Skills unless they've been overwritten by other Skills or abilities they possess
    Actually, a quick look reveals...


    • Irisviel (Dress of Heaven)
    • Nursery Rhyme
    • Charles Babbage
    • Tamamo-no-Mae
    • Cu Chulainn (Caster)
    • Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
    • William Shakespeare
    • Gilles de Rais (Caster)
    • Edward Teach
    • Anne Bonny & Mary Read
    • Billy the Kid


    as examples of Servants missing at least one of their Class Skills without an obvious substitute.

  4. #14444
    All of Your Sadness Crying's Avatar
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    Well, on one hand people have given me suggestions and ideas on how to improve Bismarck, which I really should take and use.

    On the other hand, I'm lazy and don't want to remake it.

    Choices, choices...
    Certified F/GO hater.

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  5. #14445
    僕はね、ヒマワリになりたかったんだ mewarmo990's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Crying View Post
    Well, on one hand people have given me suggestions and ideas on how to improve Bismarck, which I really should take and use.

    On the other hand, I'm lazy and don't want to remake it.

    Choices, choices...
    at the end of the day, it's just fanfic.

    On to the next sheet!

  6. #14446
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors Bird of Hermes's Avatar
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    Class: Assassin
    True Name: Helen of Troy
    Alignment: True Neutral
    Place of Origin: Greece

    Strength- D
    Endurance- E
    Agility- C
    Mana- B
    Luck- C
    NP- B

    Height/Weight: 169cm/58kg
    Likes: People of True Character
    Dislikes: Love, Removal of Free Will
    Talent: Starting War
    Natural Enemy: Paris, Aphrodite

    Class Skills:
    • Presence Concealment (B) - The capacity to hide one's presence as a Servant. However, efficiency will decrease once preparations to attack are taken. This level is high enough to the Servant very hard to detect, though not impossible.


    Personal Skills:
    • Divinity (A) - The measure of whether one has Divine Spirit aptitude or not. At high levels one is treated as a mixed race of a Divine Spirit, and the level declines when the Heroic Spirit's own rank as a Monster, Demonic Beast raises. It can also decrease due one's dislike for the gods. It also has an effect which reduces special defensive values called "purge defense" in proportion to the Divinity's Rank. It can break through Skills such as Protection of the Faith and Enlightenment of the Sacred Fig. A demigod born of Zeus whom ascended to the pantheon after death.
    • Golden Apple (B) - A skill that draws the enemy nearby by displaying a treasured item. In her life, she attracted the desire and fury of countless heroes and as such is used to becoming a target of obsession. "Look, this is the fruit of fate. This glorious treasure once sparked the burning of Troy. Come closer if you wish for it."
    • Grace of God (EX) - The greatest body and good looks, a skill that denotes the "beauty of royalty". Helen of Troy was known as "The most beautiful maiden in The World" as such at this rank, her entire visage gives of effects similar to those of Charm-type Mystic Eyes affecting those who are naturally attracted to females. It is impossible to not be drawn to her in one way or another.
    • Hero's Widow (C) - Allows for the viewing of another Heroic Spirit's legend; seeing their skills and identity causes her to despise them if their legend had love in it.
    • Unfortunate Maiden (A) - A skill for those unfortunate in the affairs in love. Those who Helen is close to, whether by desire to arrangement, will receive a Rank Down in Mana and Luck. At this rank, she will continually mess up personal relationships and find it impossible to maintain romance.


    Noble Phantasm

    Moíra ton Iróon Blade of Retribution (Anti-Hero) (B+) - The crystallisation of Helen's existance as one who was indirectly responsible for the end of Greece's Age of Heroes. Upon activating the weapon, the short blade gives off a black glow with a white aura around it. As the more famous heroes of the war had more tragic endings to their shorter lives, Moíra ton Iróon gains power proportionate to the legend of the target struck. The more fame the hero possesses and the greater power they have, the more deadly the weapon. The famous and powerful heroes the likes of King Arthur, Achilles and even Gilgamesh would be struck down in a single blow however servants such as Tamamo no Mae and Medusa would be unaffected by its curse due to having greater connotations with evil and monstrosity.


    Lore

    Helen of Troy, also known as Helen of Sparta, was the daughter of Zeus and Leda, and was a sister of Castor, Pollux, and Clytemnestra. In Greek myths, she was considered the most beautiful woman in the world. By marriage she was Queen of Laconia, a province within Homeric Greece, the wife of King Menelaus.

    In her youth she was abducted by Theseus and his friend, who both believed they should have divine wives, though they made the mistake of also attempting to kidnap Persephone. Hades welcomed the fools into the Underworld and pretended to offer them hospitality and set a feast, but, as soon as the pair sat down, snakes coiled around their feet and held them there. Helen's abduction caused an invasion of Athens by Castor and Pollux, who returned their sister to Sparta.

    A competition between her suitors for her hand in marriage sees Menelaus emerge victorious. An oath sworn beforehand by all the suitors (known as the Oath of Tyndareus) requires them to provide military assistance in the case of her abduction; this oath culminates in the Trojan War. When she marries Menelaus she is still very young.

    Paris, a Trojan prince, came to Sparta to claim Helen, in the guise of a supposed diplomatic mission. Before this journey, Paris had been appointed by Zeus to judge the most beautiful goddess; Hera, Athena, or Aphrodite. In order to earn his favour, Aphrodite promised Paris the most beautiful woman in the world. Swayed by Aphrodite's offer, Paris chose her as the most beautiful of the goddesses, earning the wrath of Athena and Hera. Aphrodite twisted her mind, forcing her to fall in love with Paris.

    When he discovered that his wife was missing, Menelaus called upon all the other suitors to fulfil their oaths, thus beginning the Trojan War. The Greek fleet gathered in Aulis, but the ships could not sail, because there was no wind. Artemis was enraged by a sacrilegious act of the Greeks, and only the sacrifice of Agamemnon's daughter, Iphigenia, could appease her. Helen's sister, begs her husband to reconsider his decision, calling Helen a "wicked woman". Clytemnestra (unsuccessfully) warns Agamemnon that sacrificing Iphigenia for Helen's sake is, "buying what we most detest with what we hold most dear".
    When the war started, Helen quickly realised Paris' true personality: a cowardly and perverted wretch. And thus the spell broke. She was filled with self-distaste and regret for what she has caused she grew emotionally distant towards Paris - force love turned to apathy, then hatred. She had been treated as only an object or prize to be handed out as a reward.

    By the end of the war the Trojans came to hate her, despite the fact it was Paris' doings that started the debacle in the first place. However, throughout the years in Troy, she grew close to Hector and he became her only confident and friend. She recognised his strength of character and held a great deal of platonic affection for him. Likewise, he was perhaps the only one who saw Helen as a person and supported her when blamed for the countless deaths of the war. When he died, she mourned greatly as of all the Trojans, he was the only one who was always kind to her.

    During the sack of Troy she did not care for Paris and did not mourn his death, for he was just another fool who only cared for her looks. When Menelaus finally found her, he raised his sword to kill her. He had demanded that only he should slay his unfaithful wife, knowing her beauty, she showed her naked form to him - stopping his murderous rage in its tracks.

    She was taken back to Sparta but she never stepped foot in the city again Helen had long ago left the mortal world by then, having been taken up to Mount Olympus almost immediately after Menelaus' return.

    She does not understand why she qualifies as a Heroic Spirit for surely she was just an object to be paraded around? Ultimately, since she was first kidnapped by Theseus, she never knew true happiness and became a prize. She desires to gain identity outside of a beauty and actually experience life. Due to her previous experience with men in her life, she will only need the call of a Master if they are female.


    -------------------------------

    Been working on her for a while so I figured I'd finish her up now before moving onto other characters.

    Feedback is appreciated.
    Last edited by Bird of Hermes; May 15th, 2016 at 01:24 PM.

  7. #14447
    All of Your Sadness Crying's Avatar
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    Interesting facelaim there, Bird...

    Anyway, I've got a few points to make on the sheet if you want 'em:

    1) Helen was 'the most beautiful woman in the world'. Hell, beauty is (jokingly) measured in helens and milihelens. If anybody deserved an EX-Rank in a beauty related skill it's probably her.

    2) She could probably be given the Goddess Divine Core skill, rather than just Divinity, though that's honestly up to you.

    3) I'd probably give her a higher rank in Golden Apple, but that's mostly subject to opinion.

    4) Unfortunate Maiden is fine, though you could make the "people close to her suffer misfortunes" part of her NP, or even it's own NP. Plus, there's the Hero's Bridemaid skill that Brynhildr has in GO that she could probably be given (though if you did that you should probably change the 'she will adore people who have love in their legend' into 'she will hate people who have love in their legend').

    5) Her Noble Phantasm works fine, though it's appearance is a tad... I dunno, just the image of a 'short blade' with a 'black glow with a white aura around it' (so Humanity from Dark Souls) doesn't really appeal to me.

    Other than that, I think you did fairly well with her.
    Last edited by Crying; May 15th, 2016 at 06:21 AM. Reason: spelling and shit
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  8. #14448
    アルテミット・ワン Ultimate One asterism42's Avatar
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    Saber
    Titus Flavius Sabinus Vespasianus


    Alignment: Neutral Good/Lawful Evil
    Place of birth: Rome
    STR: B
    END: B
    AGI: C
    MAG: C
    LUCK: B-
    NP: A+

    Class Skills

    Magic Resistance (B):
    Grants protection against magical effects. Differently from the Resistance effect that merely rejects prana, this ability cancels the spells altogether. This rank can cancel spells with a chant below three verses. Even if targeted by High-Thaumaturgy and Greater Rituals, it is difficult for them to be affected.

    Riding (B): The ability to ride mounts. Most vehicles can be handled with above average skill. However, cannot ride the likes of Phantasmal Creatures such as Monstrous Beasts.

    Personal Skills


    Duality (A): A skill that symbolizes someone who has been recorded as having two distinct personalities as a result of multiple historical records. It allows Saber to manifest as two different identities which he calls ‘Light Saber’ and ‘Dark Saber’, with the light form representing the benevolent emperor recorded by the Romans, and the dark form representing the cruel tyrant as recorded by the Jewish people. He is able to switch between the two personalities to best fit the situation he’s in; the one that’s dominant depends on the character of Saber’s Master.

    Charisma (C-B): The natural talent to command an army. Increases the ability of allies during group battles. Light Saber’s rank is suitable for a king of a country, as befits his status as an emperor. Due to his vicious personality, Dark Saber possesses a lower rank.

    Imperial Privilege (D-A+): An ability that, due the insistence of the owner, Skills that are essentially impossible to possess can be obtained for a short period of time. In cases when the Rank is А or above, even the "burden to the body" is acquired (such as Divinity). Since he is from a time where he wasn’t even a prince, let alone an emperor, Dark Saber’s rank in this skill is significantly reduced.

    Ruthlessness (E-B): A skill possessed by those who were known for perpetrating acts of cruelty and brutality in times of war, however such harsh methods are often underlined by a pragmatic desire not to prolong conflict. By its very nature, Good aligned Servants are prohibited from using this skill. Attacks will deal increased damage against wounded opponents, with the boost increasing the more injured the foe is, eventually culminating in the ability to perform a ‘coup de grace’ style instant kill against very badly wounded individuals. His personality means that Light Saber suppresses this skill a great deal, its only impact on him being a fondness for gladiatorial bloodsports.

    Divinity (D): The measure of whether one has Divine Spirit aptitude or not. At high levels one is treated as a mixed race of a Divine Spirit, and the level declines when the Heroic Spirit's own rank as a Monster raises. It can also decrease due one's dislike for the gods. It also has an effect which reduces special defensive values called "purge defense" in proportion to the Divinity's Rank. It can break through Skills such as Protection of the Faith and Enlightenment of the Sacred Fig. Saber was deified after his death, by his younger brother and successor, a common occurrence for Roman emperors.

    Noble Phantasms

    Amphitheatrum Flavium
    Games of the Great Arena


    (Anti-Squadron, A++):
    The Noble Phantasm that the benevolent emperor Titus makes use of, the magnificent Colosseum of Rome that was completed during his realm. Also known as the Flavian Amphitheatre, all three emperors of Rome’s Flavian Dynasty have access to this Noble Phantasm, but only Titus can call upon the magnificence of the arena’s inaugural games, held during his reign. A perfect bounded field similar in execution to the Colosseum’s predecessor, Emperor Nero’s Domus Aurea, but whereas the Domus was a vanity project, the Colosseum is designed to give to the masses what they desire. Once summoned, all of the arena’s traps and effects can be controlled by Titus. Phantasmal beasts and unnamed wraiths of gladiators can be summoned into the arena, as can a variety of tricks, traps and special effects designed to increase the spectacle, which are stored in the Colosseum’s hypogeum; the arena can be flooded to allow for the summoning of two phantom warships. Titus can also channel the bloodlust of the crowd into his sword to perform the strike of execution given to condemned gladiators. The phrase ‘panem et circenses’ is also taken into account; the support of his people while standing in the arena means all of Titus’s parameters are raised while it is summoned.

    Uncrowned Victory
    Destruction of the Holy City


    (Anti-City, Anti-Divine, A-A+++): Whereas the Colosseum is the symbol of the emperor who was loved by his people, this is the Noble Phantasm of the warmonger hated by his enemies, representing Titus’s most famous act as a general: the siege and destruction of the city of Jerusalem and the subsequent scattering of the Jewish people. Taking the form of a sword wreathed in black flames, the light of Uncrowned Victory is capable of dealing cruel burns to divinity; this includes Titus himself, so he cannot wield this without incurring damage. Once unleashed, a city-devouring wave of fire and light spreads out in a cross-shaped pattern from Titus, burning away everyone in its path. Those who attempt to flee from the flames will also incur extra damage, a nod to the order Titus gave that anyone attempting to escape from the dying city was to be crucified.

    Spoiler:

    Likes: Josephus, Berenice
    Dislikes: Other Judeans, volcanoes
    Talents: Civic planning, organizing disaster relief
    Natural Enemy: His brother

    Saber is Titus, the tenth emperor of Rome, who despite a short reign of only two years was spoken of long after his death by historians as a loved and competent ruler; this is also despite the fact that his reign was plagued by natural disasters, such as the famous eruption of Mt Vesuvius in 69 AD.


    - - - Updated - - -

    Started out as someone with the Colosseum as an NP, finished being based on the Third War's Saber.
    Last edited by asterism42; May 15th, 2016 at 01:25 PM.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sandstorm77 View Post
    He's just putting the bone of his sword into other people until it explodes and lets out parts of him inside them.
    Quote Originally Posted by AvengerEmiya View Post
    Genderswaps are terrible, but I think I and other people would hate them less if Fate didn't keep ignoring actual heroines throughout history and folklore. Like, why bother turning Francis Drake into a woman when Ching Shih and Grace O'Malley exist?
    Quote Originally Posted by Five_X View Post
    Fate Zero is just Fate Stay Night for people who think Shirou is too girly
    Quote Originally Posted by Comun View Post
    I think Alex IV can eat Goku.

  9. #14449
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Titus is really cool. I like the idea of a 'duel aspects' Saber a lot. Ampitheatre NP is perfect for all kinds of wild and creative fight scenarios.

    Overall, he sounds like he'd be a very interesting character to explore in a Grail War.

  10. #14450
    夜魔 Nightmare ZSB1999's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Bird of Hermes View Post
    Class: Assassin True Name: Helen of Troy
    Noble Phantasm was great, and makes Helen into a huge threat instead of just some sort of damsel in distress. I agree with Crying that Grace of God could be at a higher rank ( if not then I'll have to make Absalom's rank lower because there's no way he will be more beautiful than Helen). I liked that you reused the skill unfortunate maiden from your Borgia sheet, but I feel that the skill could be at a higher rank because her romance with Paris started the Trojan war.



    Titus is fantastic. I LOVE the face claim and the concept of dark and light sides (small typo but his class is rider not saber). For his "light" noble phantasm I feel like my Commodus would be having the time of his life inside it. The second "dark" noble phantasm is my favorite though. The description of it is amazing and absolutely terrifying, I would not want to be one of the random bystanders in the city of the grail war. The only problem with the sheet is the small typo at the top. I believe you meant for him to be saber and not rider. Honestly would love to see a fight between "The Christian Terminator" Mercurius (Archer) and this guy's dark saber form.
    Last edited by ZSB1999; May 15th, 2016 at 01:29 PM.

  11. #14451
    アルテミット・ワン Ultimate One asterism42's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ZSB1999 View Post
    I believe you meant for him to be saber and not rider
    Whoops.

    Yeah, it's cuz I use the last sheet I did as a template for the next one, and I forgot to change the class.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sandstorm77 View Post
    He's just putting the bone of his sword into other people until it explodes and lets out parts of him inside them.
    Quote Originally Posted by AvengerEmiya View Post
    Genderswaps are terrible, but I think I and other people would hate them less if Fate didn't keep ignoring actual heroines throughout history and folklore. Like, why bother turning Francis Drake into a woman when Ching Shih and Grace O'Malley exist?
    Quote Originally Posted by Five_X View Post
    Fate Zero is just Fate Stay Night for people who think Shirou is too girly
    Quote Originally Posted by Comun View Post
    I think Alex IV can eat Goku.

  12. #14452
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors Bird of Hermes's Avatar
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    Thanks for the feedback, I've made the modifications to Helen.

    Anyways asterism42, Titus is pretty cool. Great job with the Duality. Very well made and thought out.
    Last edited by Bird of Hermes; May 15th, 2016 at 01:29 PM. Reason: The guy made the changes before i finished posting.

  13. #14453
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Servant Archer:

    True Name: Saint Barbara

    Alignment: Lawful Good

    Strength- D
    Agility- C+
    Endurance- B+
    Mana- C
    Luck- C
    NP- A+

    Appearance:


    History:
    From Saint Barbara Orthodox Church
    The Holy Great Martyr Barbara lived and suffered during the reign of the emperor Maximian (305-311). Her father, the pagan Dioscorus, was a rich and illustrious man in the Syrian city of Heliopolis. After the death of his wife, he devoted himself to his only daughter.

    Seeing Barbara’s extraordinary beauty, Dioscorus decided to hide her from the eyes of strangers. Therefore, he built a tower for Barbara, where only her pagan teachers were allowed to see her. From the tower there was a view of hills stretching into the distance. By day, she was able to gaze upon the wooded hills, the swiftly flowing rivers, and the meadows covered with a mottled blanket of flowers; by night the harmonious and majestic vault of the heavens twinkled and provided a spectacle of inexpressible beauty. Soon the virgin began to ask herself questions about the First Cause and Creator of so harmonious and splendid a world.

    Gradually, she became convinced that the soulless idols were merely the work of human hands. Although her father and teachers offered them worship, she realized that the idols could not have made the surrounding world. The desire to know the true God so consumed her soul that Barbara decided to devote all her life to this goal, and to spend her life in virginity.

    The fame of her beauty spread throughout the city, and many sought her hand in marriage. But despite the entreaties of her father, she refused all of them. Barbara warned her father that his persistence might end tragically and separate them forever. Dioscorus decided that the temperament of his daughter had been affected by her life of seclusion. He therefore permitted her to leave the tower and gave her full freedom in her choice of friends and acquaintances. Thus Barbara met young Christian maidens in the city, and they taught her about the Creator of the world, about the Trinity, and about the Divine Logos. Through the Providence of God, a priest arrived in Heliopolis from Alexandria disguised as a merchant. After instructing her in the mysteries of the Christian Faith, he baptized Barbara, then returned to his own country.

    During this time, a luxurious bathhouse was being built at the house of Dioscorus. By his orders, the workers prepared to put two windows on the south side. But Barbara, taking advantage of her father’s absence, asked them to make a third window, thereby forming a Trinity of light. On one of the walls of the bath-house Barbara traced a cross with her finger. The cross was deeply etched into the marble, as if by an iron instrument. Later, her footprints were imprinted on the stone steps of the bathhouse. The water of the bathhouse had great healing power. St. Simeon Metaphrastes (November 9) compared the bathhouse to the stream of Jordan and the Pool of Siloam, because by God’s power, many miracles took place there.

    When Dioscorus returned and expressed dissatisfaction about the change in his building plans, his daughter told him about how she had come to know the Triune God, about the saving power of the Son of God, and about the futility of worshipping idols. Dioscorus went into a rage, grabbed a sword and was on the point of striking her with it. The holy virgin fled from her father, and he rushed after her in pursuit. His way became blocked by a hill, which opened up and concealed the saint in a crevice. On the other side of the crevice was an entrance leading upwards. St Barbara managed then to conceal herself in a cave on the opposite slope of the hill.

    After a long and fruitless search for his daughter, Dioscorus saw two shepherds on the hill. One of them showed him the cave where the saint had hidden. Dioscorus beat his daughter terribly, and then placed her under guard and tried to wear her down with hunger. Finally he handed her over to the prefect of the city, named Martianus. They beat St. Barbara fiercely: they struck her with rawhide, and rubbed her wounds with a hair cloth to increase her pain. By night, St. Barbara prayed fervently to her Heavenly Bridegroom, and the Savior Himself appeared and healed her wounds. Then they subjected the saint to new, and even more frightful torments.

    In the crowd where the martyr was tortured was the virtuous Christian woman Juliana, an inhabitant of Heliopolis. Her heart was filled with sympathy for the voluntary martyrdom of the beautiful and illustrious maiden. Juliana also wanted to suffer for Christ. She began to denounce the torturers in a loud voice, and they seized her.

    Both martyrs were tortured for a long time. Their bodies were raked and wounded with hooks, and then they were led naked through the city amidst derision and jeers. Through the prayers of St. Barbara, the Lord sent an angel who covered the nakedness of the holy martyrs with a splendid robe. Then the steadfast confessors of Christ, Ss. Barbara and Juliana, were beheaded. Dioscorus himself executed St. Barbara. The wrath of God was not slow to punish both torturers, Martianus and Dioscorus. They were killed after being struck by lightning.

    In the sixth century the relics of the holy Great Martyr Barbara were transferred to Constantinople. Six hundred years later, they were transferred to Kiev (July 11) by Barbara, the daughter of the Byzantine Emperor Alexius Comnenos, who married the Russian prince Michael Izyaslavich. They rest even now at Kiev’s St Vladimir cathedral, where an Akathist to the saint is served each Tuesday. Many pious Orthodox Christians are in the habit of chanting the troparion of St. Barbara each day, recalling the Savior’s promise to her that those who remembered her and her sufferings would be preserved from a sudden, unexpected death, and would not depart this life without benefit of the Holy Mysteries of Christ. St. Barbara is commemorated on December 4

    Personality: Archer's disposition is far from what you'd expect of a virgin saint. She is outgoing, eager and loves to learn about the modern world. This reflects her nature as a patron saint of emerging modern technologies, such as gunpowder. In particular, she's a bit of a 'military Otaku' with her enthusiasism for firearms. Though she may not seem as such, Archer is still a saint with all that title implies. She is kind, gentle and humble, able to play the part of a mother or big sister figure depending on the situation. Death holds no fear for her. She views the Grail as an untrustworthy cup but will happily accept summons simply for the chance to renew her evangelical work in the modern day.

    Likes: firearms, proper safety, the modern world, preaching the faith
    Dislikes: religious persecution, violent accidents
    Talent: standing up for her beliefs
    Natural Enemy: her father Dioscorus


    Class Skills:

    Independant Action (C)- Ability to remain in existence without Mana supply from one's Master. At this rank, Archer can persist in the world for one day in the absence of an active contract. Though of fearless and intrepid spirit, Archer was locked up in a tower by her jealous father for much of her life, so her rank is rather low.

    Magic Resistance (B-)- Cancels spells with a chant below three verses. Even the likes of High Thaumaturgy and Greater Rituals will have trouble affecting her. Archer's rank in this Skill is bolstered by her overwhelming religious faith. As a result, effectiveness is declined regarding spells from her own religion.


    Personal Skills:

    Saint (C+)- Denotes one who is recognized as a saint. When summoned as a Servant, the ability of Saint is selected one among "raising the effectiveness of sacraments", "automatic HP recovery", "1 Rank-Up to Charisma" and "production of a holy shroud is possible". Archer was a rather minor saint whose legend is believed to have little in the way of historical merit. Still, she received greater veneration from working class people, for whom her promise of protection from explosions and violent accidents was greatly valued.

    Protection From Flames (A+)- Divine protection that reduces the damage of fire and fire-based spells. At an A+ rank, a localized Bounded Field surrounds Archer's skin that denies the very concept of 'fire'. This effect may be bypassed if the fire is magical in nature. During Archer's ordeal as a martyr, it was said that torches intended to burn her went out the moment they got near her.

    Soul Of A Martyr (B)- Ability to negate mental interference through firmness of faith. Archer was an early convert to Christianity who endured countless tortures and indignities from her father Dioscorus, yet never once renounced God.


    Noble Phantasms:


    Romae Barbarae Virginis- Sainted, Avenging Thunder (A+, Anti-Unit): As punishment for executing his daughter Barbara, Dioscurus was struck by a heavensent bolt of lightning on his way home and his body was consumed by flames.

    Though she had no direct role in it, Barbara is greatly linked with that event, to the point where she was often invoked as 'the saint of thunder and lightning'.

    As a Noble Phantasm, it has been subsumed under Archer's association with firearms. Invoking its True Name, every last drop of Archer's latent magical energy is poured forth into her rifle's barrel and unleashed as a pure and immensely destructive bolt of lightning.

    In visuals and sheer power, it is not unlike a 'railgun'. It is not ordinary lightning but rather Divine Retribution crystallized into physical form. It imposes 'judgement' on the target to deal extra damage based on their sins and inequities. This is not a direct result of the lightning itself but rather something imposed from within, literally burning the target from inside with their own sins. As such, simply having an invulnerable body is no protection.

    Said blast scourges the landscape upon impact, producing tremendous heat and pressure sufficient to turn several miles of desert into a glass crater resembling the aftermath of a meteor strike. Despite this it is inherently an Anti-Unit attack since its core concept of 'inacting judgement' is one focused on the individual, rather then a group.

    However, the wholesale sacrifice of all of Archer's magical energy is required in order to call upon this Noble Phantasm. Once invoked, her death is one decreed by the World itself as inavoidable consequence. It is 'the lightning that avenged Saint Barbara's death' so for it to come without her demise would be a paradox, abhorrent to the World.

    While a 'focus' is necessary to act as a conduit for the lightning, in truth any projectile weapon will work such as a bow or slingshot. Firearms are simply Archer's personal preference.


    Earthen Obscuration- Earth, Hide Me From Evil (C, Support): After confessing her newfound faith to her father Dioscurus, he became enraged, forgot all love for his daughter, and unsheathed his sword to strike her dead on the spot. But Barbara fled before he could harm her, and begged for God’s help. With her father in hot pursuit, she ran into the countryside where a fissure in one of the mountains parted for her escape. There she hid in a cave, while her father continued to search for her.

    As a Noble Phantasm, invoking its True Name will allow her to travel freely through the earth. The ground can open up into a tunnel under her feet, while even solid mountains will split apart to grant her free passage. She can effectively dig her way through the ground as easily as water by continually forming a tunnel wherever she wants to go and then immediately resealing it. Can only be invoked for defensive purposes, such as to flee combat or evade an attack.

    That said, there are ways to use its ability offensively, albeit indirectly. For instance Archer taking an opponent underground with her and then sealing it up behind her, burying them alive, or luring a pursuing army into a newly opened fissure which crushes them as soon as she leaves. Archer herself does not approve of these methods though and will only use this Noble Phantasm for its proper, defensive purpose unless in truly extreme situations or if forced by Command Seal.


    Virgo Nemorosus- Shroud Of God's Graces (A, Support): At the culmination of her tortures, Archer was dragged naked through the city by her father's guards, showcasing her beaten, wounded body as a symbol of what happens to those who preach the faith. Not wishing for his chosen to be so defiled by leering eyes, God himself intervened to place a splendid robe over Archer and her fellow Martyrs, covering their nakedness.

    That same robe is her third Noble Phantasm, embodying divine protection. A shining, resplendent cloth, looking like pure light woven into the form of a shroud. While wearing it Archer gains a Rank-Up to Magic Resistance, shuts out mental interference 100% and recovers from injuries at an advanced rate. If Romae Barbarae Virginis is 'divine retribution' then Virgo Nemorosus is 'divine protection' bestowed upon God's chosen so that they remain pure in words and body.

    Quite the powerful ability, though its effects only activate if Archer is wearing nothing else below the shroud. Needless to say, simple embarrassment insures that she refuses to utilize this Noble Phantasm unless absolutely necessary.


    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Found her on a blog somewhere suggesting female Servants for Grand Order (I often trawl forums, Reddit and the like for Servant names). Once I read about how her association with gunpowder I instantly got a pretty good picture of how she'd look and act. With her evangelism and fondness for firearms it looks like I inadvertently made quite the conservative character, LOL! Romae Barbarae Virginis is obviously based off Jeanne's La Pucelle, though it's different in that it's based off 'vengeance' rather then 'self-sacrifice'. Second NP was actually inspired by the ability of Varian Scapegrace, a villain from the Skullduggery Pleasant series of YA novels I used to read (early ones were good, though the later ones got too morbid and gruesome for my tastes). May be a bit overpowered what with three NPs and all, but since one is a suicide attack, one is (mostly) defensive and one she'll hardly ever use I think it's fair. As always, be sure to drop by with comments and criticisms!

    Might do a sheet for Agustina de Aragón (AKA Spanish Jeanne D'arc, another Servant referenced from the aforementioned blog post) sometime later.

  14. #14454
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    With her I now officially have a Judeo-Christian/Biblical Heroic Spirit for all seven Classes. (The only one that still needed filling was Archer)

    Let the biblical Grail War commence mwahahahahaa!!

    Never mind, it's probably be pretty anti-climactic. For most of them there wouldn't even be a reason to fight each other, unless they had majorly different views on God... (Saint Patrick would definitely clash with most of my other saintly Servants, for example)

  15. #14455
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors Bird of Hermes's Avatar
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    Saint Barbara is pretty sound, all I'd do is actually put Suicide Attack as the classification for Romae Barbarae Virginis as its really underused. It's only used once in canon and the only time I've seen it on here was on my Roland sheet.

    Also, where is the blog for ideas of female servants for Grand Order?

  16. #14456
    夜魔 Nightmare ZSB1999's Avatar
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    Hmm, an interesting saint I've never heard about, reading about her makes me feel the same way I did when I first found out about Mercurius (Thank you Fire Emblem). Overall a well made and interesting sheet, I think that you could add a plus to soul of a martyr because that would put her at the same rank as Saint George who was also a great martyr. When you mentioned the Biblical Grail war, I immediately went and counted my servants and realized that I have one for each class as well. As for the no reason to fight each other, just throw Archer Mercurius into the mix, add in a few old testament figures, and watch Mercurius go crazy.

  17. #14457
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Bird of Hermes View Post
    Also, where is the blog for ideas of female servants for Grand Order?
    Well, it's not the blog as a whole, just a particular post. Regardless, source is here.

    Barbara was actually mentioned in a comment rather then the main post, along with Agustina and several others.

  18. #14458
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Servant Berserker:

    True Name
    : Agustina de Aragon

    Alignment: Neutral Good

    Alternate Class: Archer

    Strength- B
    Agility- C+
    Endurance- A+
    Mana- D
    Luck- A
    NP- C

    Appearance:


    Equipment: A gigantic, heavily adorned cannon that she carries on her person. Its blasts are capable of blowing limbs clean off and shredding concrete at close range. Due to its great amount of recoil, Berserker can also utilize it as a makeshift method of propulsion. Despite its great size, she wields it without apparent difficulty and even swings it around like a club for close combat. Her fighting style consists of a mix between savage bashing and point-blank cannonfire.

    History: The fortified Spanish city of Zaragoza was falling before the terrifying power of the French Imperial Army led by Napoleon. That city- which had not tasted war in over a hundred years- quickly found itself one of the last vestiges of Spain to remain independant from French rule.

    It's defenders fought valiantly, but it was a hopeless struggle. They were overwhelmed both in numbers, supplies and tactics. One by one Napoleon's men advanced their way through Zaragoza's lines. Bit by bit Spain fell.

    But... there was a hero.

    Agustina de Aragon was by any account an ordinary young woman. She wasn't especially pious nor devoted to her country. She had gone out to the battlefield merely because her husband was a soldier there.

    And... what she found was Hell itself.

    Soldiers lay slaughtered in droves. Defensive lines had been cut through like butter. French bayonets pierced Spaniard after Spaniard in a relentless advance.

    There was no reason for her to act there. There was no chance that a lone, untrained woman could ever turn the tides of war so drastically. But yet.

    She did not give up. She did not falter. She did not turn back.

    The French troops only a few yards away, Agustina herself ran forward, loaded a cannon and lit the fuse, shredding a wave of attackers at point-blank range.

    In that instant, it was as if a miracle had occured.

    Soldiers that were half-dead and dying felt suddenly renewed and full of vigor. If that girl could risk her life for their cause, then what right had they to surrender?

    Rallying behind that woman, the Spanish army charged in battle with newfound resolve. They successfully pushed back the French troops and defended the city. Though it was eventually conquered, it occured at great cost to the French. Agustina herself had many adventures afterwards, such as escaping from a French prison and fighting alongside general Wellington.

    Eventually, Napoleon and his forces were driven out and Spain, liberated. Her time as a hero over, Agustina retired and lived a quiet life, settling down with a handsome young doctor. But the world would never forget her heroism.


    Personality: Headstrong, fierce and indomitable. Berserker gives the impression of a somewhat cold and uncaring person, saying that those who refuse to fight are simply cowards who don't deserve to die for their countries. At the same time, she shows nothing but compassion for those who give their all in battle or otherwise. She can even be motherly, though they are few who get to see that side of her. She does not believe her deeds to be extraordinary and if asked will simply reply that "Any upstanding person would have done the same in my place". At her heart, she is an ordinary person who is motivated not by glory or fame nor patriotism or personal piety. She simply did what she had to do. There was no further reason.

    Incidentally, she holds a great fondness for her country's most famous hero, the crusader king El Cid. If summoned in the same War as him by some chance, it is likely that she'll unleash a truly fangirlish display of enthusiasm.

    Likes: Spain, El Cid, determination
    Dislikes: cowards, giving up, the French
    Talent: 'None, I am just an ordinary person'
    Natural Enemy: Napoleon Bonaparte


    Class Skills:

    Mad Enhancement (EX)- Normally sacrifices sanity in exchange for raw power. In Berserker's case she is not truly 'mad' but rather her rank in this Skill represents her mentality of 'never surrender', 'never accept defeat' and 'those who do such things are unforgivable cowards'. As such, she is a truly invaluable ally in battle but reaching a mutual understanding can be difficult at times. All parameters are given permanent Rank-Up, including Luck and Mana.


    Personal Skills:

    Bravery (B/X)- The ability to cancel mental interference such as pressure, confusion and mesmerization through sheer fortitude of will. Berserker charged headlong into the battlefield at Zaragoza with neither fear nor hesitation, even though by all estimates the chance of making a difference was nearly zero. Due to being rendered redundant by Mad Enhancement, this Skill has been sealed.

    Charisma (D++)- Ability to inspire others and lead armies. While not a king or general, Berserker's sheer force of presence inspired her allies on the battlefield, filling them with determination and hope.

    Escape Artist (C)- Ability to escape situations and predicaments. At an EX rank, even conceptual 'prisons' such as space and time may be escaped, though Berserker is hardly at this level. Berserker was captured by the French after her famous feats at Zarabosa, but managed to stage a daring escape from their prison.


    Noble Phantasm
    :


    Dama De Zaragoza- Lady Defender Of The City (C, Support): A Noble Phantasm derived from Berserker's feats in defense of Zaragoza. When all seemed lost, she crucially turned the tide of battle by taking hold of a nearby cannon herself and firing it at the invading French, mowing them down at close range. With that one fateful blow, the Spanish forces that were dessicated only moments before regained their bravery and will to fight. With each further blow she struck, their morale only increased and their blows grew stronger as well.

    Reflecting this, Berserker's own stats and those of her allies go up incrementally with each successful blow she lands on enemies with her cannon. This applies to the War as a whole, not just any particular battle. What this means is that she gets stronger with every blow she lands, easily able to turn a disadvantageous battle into an advantageous one. If she were to successfully kill another Servant, she'd gain a larger boost, with all her parameters and those of her allies going up by a full rank. This Noble Phantasm remains active so long as she has 'will to fight' but will evaporate if she ever truly accepts defeat. Of course, given Berserker's own mentality, that is virtually an impossibility.


    -----------------------------------------------------------------------

    So, I did the Agustina de Aragon sheet I'd talked about. Intended to just write a small summary of her feats for her NP, only to somehow end up summarizing her entire history which I made into a separate section. One of the few times my sheets include a History section. Berserker is definitely an odd choice for her, but I didn't feel Archer really fit her up close and personal fighting style (besides, I didn't wanna do another Archer so soon). I feel that, if Nightingale can qualify, then so can she. NP is rather simple by my standards, but I think it fits. As always, be sure to drop by with comments and criticisms!

    Eat your heart out, Amaranth...

  19. #14459
    Maybe He's Born With It, Maybe It's Maybelline Erlking's Avatar
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    Status

    Class: Rider
    Alias/Titles: Lord of the Wild Hunt, As many names as there are winds and as many titles are there are ways for men to die
    True Name: Woden/Odin
    Alignment: Chaotic Neutral

    Parameters
    Strength: B
    Endurance: B
    Agility: A
    Mana: A+
    Luck: E

    Class Skills
    Riding (A+) The ability to ride mounts.
    Creatures on the level of Phantasmal Beast and Divine Beast can be used as mounts. However, that does not apply to members of the Dragon Kind.

    Magic Resistance (A) grants protection against magical effects.
    Cancel spells of A-Rank or below. In practice, the Servant is untouchable to modern magi, so it would not be an exaggeration to title the Servant a "Magus Killer".

    Personal Skills
    Rune Magic (A++) is knowledge about this type of Magecraft that originated in northern Europe.
    At this point, one is a master among masters, with knowledge of even the oldest and most obscure of Norse Runes.
    Archer is a God of Magic, who sacrificed his eye, hung himself from the world tree, and pierced his spear through his heart for nine days to gain unmatched knowledge of runes and insight into the world.

    Sky Father (EX) A composite skill that combines Divinity with the lordship of the sky and storms. Attacks with no material existence -- wind manipulation, energy bullets, beam attacks -- can have command wrested from their caster or be simply absorbed and rendered without effect. Absorbed energy may be used to implement rapid self-repair or physical reinforcement.

    Psychopomp (A) The skill of those that gather or lead souls to the afterlife.
    As a god a god of death as well as being in his aspect as the leader of the Wild Hunt, a spectral army, Rider possesses a high rank in this skill. He is capable of raising the dead under his command, or sensing acts of violence and murder in a manner somewhat similar to presence concealment. One of his favorite uses of the skill is to simply hear the voices of the dead and gather information through them.

    Noble Phantasms
    Gungnir
    Declaration Of The Elder God
    Anti-Unit
    B
    Though it has been ranked down due to being summoned as a Rider rather then a Lancer, and has lost some of its most power the powerful abilities due to the same, the connection between the spear and it's owner allows Rider to keep it despite the class. The spear is a beautifully crafted divine weapon, well balanced enough that even a man who had never touched a weapon in their life could hit a target on their first try with ease. Its power lies not in killing vast swaths of people, but rather in swift and precise action.

    Every attack from the spear is rendered as absolute as an Elder God's authority, throws hitting their target unerringly, thrusts digging into flesh without a chance to dodge. With a thought the spears returns to him from any throw, and with another he can send it to bury its head into another man. Only those with a high rank in Luck can have a chance at evading the strikes, and even then it is only a chance, not a guarantee.

    Though the spear is impossibly accurate the damage it causes can still be reduced and healed. As a Rider the divine weapon's natural effects are limited solely to always striking, and as such it is not quite as terrifying as it would be otherwise.

    Odens jaktnt
    The Noisy Riders
    Anti-Army
    EX
    The infamous Wild Hunt, a procession of Ghosts and Beasts that rode across the lands under the cover of storms. The hunt is made up of vast swarms of creatures and animals under the command of Rider. Chief among them are the quintet of divine beasts made up of his favored mount the multi-legged Sleipnir, the twin hounds Freki and Geri, whose hunger knows no bounds, and the ravens Huginn and Muninn. The hoard of beasts otherwise includes a vast number of creatures, ranging from a bevy of low ranking sparrows that strike like an armed host, to a harras of powerful horses, and packs of massive wolves or wargs.

    Sleipnir, the chosen mount of Rider, takes the form of a large grey horse with eight legs and a multi colored pale mane. The divine beast is among the greatest of horses and capable of taking its rider to any destination, galloping through the sky or underwater with the same ease as a lesser breed might go over a flat plain. In truth, it can be stopped by any mundane obstacle, and even magical ones will only serve as a temporary inconvenience for whomever rides the great beast, as it fades through walls or hills and runs through the sky. It is a beast of undeniably great power and linage, though little of the power is applied to combat.

    In severe contrast to their lord's horse, Freki and Geri are beasts bred to kill and eat. The hunting hounds are massive and gluttonous wolves, with sleek grey pelts and flashing eyes. The beasts devour the corpses that litter battlefields and grow large on the flesh of the slain. They move quickly to hunt and tear apart their prey and serve Rider faithfully as the greatest of his Wargs.

    Huginn and Muninn are in turn Rider's eyes and ears, two large black ravens that sit upon his shoulder and tell him of all that they have witnessed as his spys. The creatures are unsuited for battle, though still a formidable foe for the weak or unsuspecting, and instead serve as spys and familiars for Rider. They fly across the land to seek out information and relay it to him faithfully and are said to be nearly unmatched in speed.

    Though he can somewhat access the beasts of his hunt without unleashing the full Noble Phantasm, he is limited to his favored familiars which are weakened when summoned as such. To call upon the rest of his host, the furious army of monstrous and phantasmal beasts, he must be within a thunderstorm though it needs not to be natural. When invoked, by blowing a carved Hunting Horn, the winds will stir and noises will be drowned out by the sound of howling wolves, the beating of wings, and the galloping of horses. The beasts will come from the sky, running atop thick thunderclouds as they join Rider to chase down his prey.

    For as long as the Noble Phantasm is released the storm will not dissipate, instead it will grow in strength and intensity, feeding off the souls of the dead gathered by the Hunt's release. Though a horrific drain on prana, it can become self sufficient by draining the souls of those they come across as they chase down their target.

    Biography
    Spoiler:

    History: The All-Father can trace his lineage to the great Frost Giant, Ymir, whom he slew with the aid of his two brothers, Vili and Ve, and with his remains forged the world. Atop Asgard, where Odin presided, he was known as the bringer of war, a sage of wisdom, and a hunter shrouded by storms.

    As a warrior, Odin rides his eight legged steed, Sleipnir, and wields the mighty spear Gungnir. Accompanying him are two wolves, Freki and Geri, and his two trusted ravens, Huginn (thought) and Muninn (memory), who fly around the world and return to Odin with all they see and hear. To whisper their knowledge to him from atop his shoulders.

    As a sage, Odin travels disguised as a simple wanderer, seeking wisdom. His thirst for knowledge has come at great personal cost, having hanged himself from the branches of Yggdrasil, the world tree, for nine days and nights with his spear pierced through his heart and sacrificed one of his eyes to the Well of Wisdom.

    As a hunter he leads a noisy procession of beasts and ghosts, chasing down his prey from the skies and slaughtering that which stands in his way. Those that met him where given a choice, to join the predators for a night of revelry, or to become the prey.

    Personality: A warrior and a poet. Fierce, demanding, and deceptively intelligent, everything about him is larger than life. Despite being a war god, and the patron of the mad berserkers, Rider holds intelligence and knowledge as one of the most important facets of war and life itself. He will do stop at little to gather knowledge or magics, famously sacrificing and eye and impaling himself onto the world tree to gain knowledge of runes, though less famously he also chose to cross-dress so as to be taught a branch of magic reserved only for females.

    He's rather debauched and roguish, with a liking for tricks and cons to get what he wishes, and will only ever drink Mead or other such alcoholic beverages. His food is instead fed to his hunting hounds.
    Last edited by Erlking; May 16th, 2016 at 03:07 AM.

  20. #14460
    All of Your Sadness Crying's Avatar
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    Both Augustina and Barbara are pretty good, though Augistina only having one NP is slightly underwhelming and Barbara having three really goods ones is slightly overpowered.

    Odin/Woden is... about what I'd expect from from an Odin/Woden sheet, with the exception of lacking some sort of "magical insight" Skill/NP.


    I'm kind of in the mood for Yandere, so can anybody think of a mythical/historical/legendary/etc... character who could be made into a yandere Servant? All the obvious ones (that I know of) have either been done in canon, aren't eligible to be Servants or have already been done as a non-yandere by myself.
    Certified F/GO hater.

    My Servants


    The starting penalty is five.


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