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Thread: Create-a-Servant

  1. #11301
    死徒(下級)Lesser Dead Apostle Council's Avatar
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    if a relatively unknown general wins one single battle through a common tactic such as an ambush
    ..Then they don't become Heroic Spirits as a result of their command, and might not even have Military Tactics as a skill to begin with.

    And Nobunaga did lose some battles in his career.
    ...Did they?o.o I never found any notes of one myself. I apologize for the spread of misinformation._.

    And fortunately, that is fine. The world has already overhyped his achievements and legacy. The Throne of Heroes says "you see all that wanking the historians/soldiers/humans are doing to Hannibal? Let's give him at least an equivalent rank of Military Tactics as Iskandar's in response to all this recognition, even if in reality he doesn't deserve it!" Cause of course, the perception and fame of the hero in question adds greatly to the finalized Servant skill set a Heroic Spirit receives. Even if A+ is the most unreasonable within the realm of reason, a B rank for Hannibal's Military Tactics certainly isn't. A great insult to Rider who, in life, never lost a battle. But whoever said win rates in their military campaign has more influence over their usage and display of superb "military tactics?" *shrugs*
    I agree with everything you said here:3 ...Perhaps not with the 'insult' to Iskandar. He would just take the matter in stride, I assume, based on what we know of him.

    I'll keep that in mind when I raise his Luck statistic
    You should, he was one fortunate man. A definite C, and I wouldn't put a B past him.
    Last edited by Council; May 29th, 2015 at 03:35 PM.
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  2. #11302
    後継者 Successor Master of Chaos's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by asterism42 View Post
    I'm not too happy with this one. I feel like it's even less than my usual efforts, but I can't think of anything else to do with it.
    A nice effort, but indeed I see a lot of wasted potential here. Also, I'm not totally comfortable with the idea of her being a dragon summoner, considering that not even Medea (arguably Greece's greatest witch) had that ability.

    Maybe with a little more creativity - specially in regards the basic premise of the character - this could have became a masterpiece.

    On that regard, here is a something to think over: there is an academic theory that "Pythia" was not an individual name, but something like a professional title. An alias adopted by all the priestesses who became the oracle of Delphi after they took office. In a sense, it is not all that different from a certain faceless leader of that famous sect of assassins.

    Quote Originally Posted by Vagrant View Post
    Thanks for reminding me that my Hannibal sheet was almost finished, nerds. Three hour ferry ride = polished up sheet. The FiveX Batsignal has been lit.
    Didn't you try to do this before? And didn't we all agreed that it was a really bad idea then? Are you sure you wanna try again?

    Anyway, Parameters seems kinds of modest, maybe even a little low for a hero of his level. That Riding Skill deserved a Rank UP too.

    Skills Administration and Logistics could easily be replaced by Military Tactics and Independent Action (sorry, but I'm against creating new Skills when there is already official ones with virtually the same effect). Charisma is ok. Linguistic Legacy looks sort of cool. Meanwhile, Undying Promise seems more like a Noble Phantasm-material to me.

    As for the NPs, I'm sort of confused about the workings of General of Unity. I understand that it is an ability to strengthen allies, but that is about it. In regards to Surus, I would like to say that the way how you pushed it to the level of a Magical Beast was sort of forceful, but I understand that I'm in no position to do so since I've done something similar in the past myself. Instead, I'll just complain on how you mentioned a lot of new Skills near the end but failed to properly explain what they do.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sherrinford View Post
    After writers and a painter, why not a musician?
    An interesting idea. Great development. Though I have to ask: why didn't you give him a Skill related to musical performance, like the one David from early-stages Apocrypha had?

    On another note, maybe Territory Creation would be better if converted into a Noble Phantasm? Also, that Skill Faustian Pact sounds sort of confusing to me.

    And speaking of confusing, all his NPs have quite vague descriptions of their effects. Do you think you could go into a little more detail next time, please?
    Last edited by Master of Chaos; May 29th, 2015 at 06:10 PM.

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  3. #11303
    Mate, that's noice as fuck! Vagrant's Avatar
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    I only scrubbed Hannibal before because I had some of the historical details wrong and Five pointed out how his main NP was probably better suited to his father. He was never intended to change too much, just rework some aspects.

    Undying Promise is a skill because the effect is minimal, and the concept is generic and can potentially be applied easily as a Personal Skill to other future Servants I design.

    Logistics actually functions quite differently to IA mechanically because it requires seizing land and only starts to actually provide IA-like benefits at high levels and with proper use.

    I could give Hannibal Military Tactics like everyone does, but that just seemed boring and too much like Iskander and I didn't care for it.

    The other skills mentioned in the Surus NP have shown up at one point or another in other profiles, so they don't get much more than a passing mention. Dread Scream is a less flowery name I decided on for Frankenstein's scream skill, and I could probably cut Battle Coordination, yeah.

  4. #11304
    後継者 Successor Master of Chaos's Avatar
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    Class: Caster
    True Name: Gudrun
    Gender: Female
    Alignment: Lawful Evil

    STR: **** E
    END: ***** D
    AGI: ***** C
    MGI: ***** A
    LCK: ***** B+
    NP: ***** C

    Keywords
    KEYWORDS

    Volsunga Saga

    A saga included as part of Norse Mythology, it was written in Iceland during the late 13th Century. The work tells the story of the Volsung clan, a lineage of kings from Hunaland, a mythical country of Northern Europe. Modern academics draw a connection between the setting of the legend and the Migration Period (Volkerwanderung) between 300 and 700 A.D. Also, the German Nibelungenlied seems to have been based from the same oral tradition.

    Prophetic Dreams

    Caster’s greatest special trait as a magus. Since ancient times, there were many accounts of individuals with the capacity to perceive what others couldn’t. Who possessed prophetic powers. In her case, she has the ability divine the future by means of dreams.

    In Old Norse, this was a regarded as a special trait possessed almost exclusively by women. Referred as spákona (seeress), these rare ladies usually took two paths in life:

    One was of becoming wandering hermits. By cutting themselves free from the social bonds inherent of Norse communities, they acquired a freedom that was otherwise unknown by women of that time. Also, since commoners would often rely on them in times of crisis, they were also seen as an authority whose power existed in parallel with that of the warlords that usually ruled over the Norse clans.

    Another path would be mirroring themselves in the likeness of the goddess Freyja and choosing to serve a powerful warlord, devoting their powers to support him. Although lacking the freedom and influence possessed by the wandering sage, these aristocratic shamans enjoyed great social prestige within their native communities.


    CLASS SKILLS

    Territory Creation: B
    The technical skill to build up an advantageous encampment to oneself as a magus. Thanks to this Skill that allows to create in the shortest time a Workshop that displays the very best effectiveness on any kind of terrain condition, Caster boasts the greatest advantage in regards to defensive fights among all Servants. At B Rank, it is possible to mold a Workshop.

    Item Construction: C+
    The technical skill to produce devices that carry magical power. It makes possible to manufacture various tools, from items and Mystic Codes meant for battle to daily necessities. However, this Skill takes time for the production and supply of ingredients. C Rank denotes construction prowess of an average magus. All the classical magic items can be produced.

    This Servant appears to be especially proficient in the manufacturing of potions. One of her masterpieces is a potion of amnesia that can make those who drink it lose specific parts of their memories.

    PERSONAL SKILLS

    Dialogue Techniques: B+
    The Skill to smoothly spin words in order to manage human relationships in a favorable manner. Though mainly denotes the talent to persuade others diplomatically, it also implies the technique to deceive people through lies and half-truths.

    Magecraft: A
    Orthodox Magecraft has been learned. At A Rank, one is undoubtedly a first-rate magus.

    Presence Concealment: D
    The technical skill to suppress one's presence as a Servant. In short, it is something like erasing one’s presence by thoroughly restraining the emission of prana coming from the Servant – who is a mass of prana. This level of proficiency is suitable for covert operations.

    This Skill originates from equipping the magic cloak.

    NOBLE PHANTASM

    Tarnkappe – Raincoat of Concealment
    Rank: E
    Type:
    Anti-Unit (self)
    Also known as the cloak of invisibility. Originally an item included in the treasure of the dragon Fafnir obtained by Sigurd, it was later given to the Niflung family as part of the dowry from his marriage with Gudrun. Its power as a Noble Phantasm is to make the wearer’s figure impossible to be observed by optical or magical means. Since it cannot completely erase the traces that originate from sound, smell, body temperature and the likes, it is somewhat imperfect as a form of presence concealment.

    In Des Ring des Nibelungen that was compiled later, this was changed into a magic helmet called Tarnhelm and additional features such as increasing the user’s strength and granting powers of metamorphosis were included.

    Also, this is a digression, but Tarnkappe holds the meaning “cap of disguise” in German. Given the etymology, it is believed that this is a magic item created while having the helmet of the Greek god Hades as a model.

    Kriemhild – Temple of Conflagration
    Rank: B
    Type: Anti-Army
    Palace of vengeance. A bounded field of fire and smoke. The anecdotes of Gudrun’s murder of her husband Attila sublimated as a Noble Phantasm.

    By setting multiple magic circles to serve as its foundation, a bounded field is established around a determined building. Once activated, the temperature inside will sharply increase and things will begin to combust in no time. In short, this turns a given structure into a giant oven.

    A high-grade Magecraft suitably categorized as a High-Thaumaturgy. Since the magic circles that form the bounded field are constructed with extraordinary skills, only a first-rate magus can hope to erase them. Also, unless it is someone capable of spatial transference, moving from inside to outside (and vice-versa) after the bounded field has been activated is impossible.

    As this is a Magecraft applied not on people but on a location as a whole, magical interference towards an individual occurs in an indirect fashion. Therefore, it is possible for someone with a strong magic resistance to defend against it to some extent. An ordinary person without a drop of magical power, however, will just burn to ashes. Furthermore, a strong curse of retribution is incorporated into the bounded field, causing it to display greater effect against those guilty of sins such as “murder” or “pillage”.

    Given the large scale of this Magecraft, the necessary preparations take a significant amount of time (minimum of three days). In that meantime, another magus might discover the presence of the bounded field by sensing the abnormalities in the environment. Consequentially, this is not something meant for direct combat, but better employed in traps and ambushes.

    Background
    BACKGROUND

    Gudrun. The young daughter of the Niflungs. A woman gifted with both intelligence and beauty, she was born as the eldest daughter of King Gjuki of Burgundy. Her mother, Queen Grimhild, was a treacherous witch who taught her children both the arts of Magecraft and machinations.

    The stereotypical spoiled princess. Willful and egoistical, she is the type of person that places her own wishes as foremost and sulks easily when things don’t go their way. Still, what lies behind that is a strong will to stick to one’s principles and the great pride that goes together with it. Also, although selfish, her demands are (rarely) unreasonable and it is not like she cannot think of others either. In fact, she is a woman who demonstrates her love is by thoroughly devoting herself to her beloved.

    This is a story of long ago. The princess who was constantly pampered by her parents became used to always get what she wanted. But one day, a single man overturned that what she once held as the truth of the world. A passing visitor in her father’s court. A handsome prince of a fallen kingdom. A strong warrior whose name was praised far and wide.

    Great hero, Sigurd the dragon slayer.

    Many men had sought Gudrun’s hand before then, but she refused them all. In her eyes, none of them were worthy of being her husband. But Sigurd was different. As soon as she met him, the princess knew that she found her destined one.

    To be blunt, it was love at first sight.

    However, Sigurd himself paid little mind to her. While he was always respectful towards Gudrun, he otherwise remained oblivious to her advances. Most men would fall head over heels to Gudrun’s charms, but to Sigurd she was just “the daughter of his benefactor”.

    When the time came for Sigurd to depart, Gudrun despaired from the thought of watching him leave her behind. Failing to accept such an unreasonable outcome, the princess begged the assistance of her mother. Thanks to Queen Grimhild’s machinations, a political marriage between Sigurd and Gudrun was arranged.

    (Incidentally, it is believed that Gudrun was still ignorant about the real circumstances of this marriage – about the violation of Sigurd’s mind – at this point. She only came to learn the truth much after)

    As Gudrun hoped, she and Sigurd got married. Having her dearest wish fulfilled, she believed from the bottom of her heart that she was the most fortunate person in the world. Those newlywed days were without a doubt the most joyous period of her life.

    However, that happiness did not last. A dark shadow was cast on her perfect world by the arrival of a new member in the Niflung family. The Valkyrie, Brynhild.

    Once a proud servant of Odin, but due to her defiance against the Chief God, Brynhild was incarcerated in an inviolable mountain and then cursed to marry the man who released her. Once again by means of Queen Grimhild’s trickery, the Valkyrie was fooled into thinking that her son Gunnar had saved her, when in fact it had been Sigurd.

    As soon as she first set eyes on Brynhild, Gudrun knew that she would never come to like her. Whatever it was beauty, talents or pedigree, the princess was outclassed in every way and her feelings of jealousy were aroused. Still – more than anything – she couldn’t bear the manner how her husband changed after meeting the Valkyrie.

    During the whole time they were together, Sigurd was always the ideal husband. Loyal. Caring. Respectful. Never once he did anything that would tarnish Gudrun’s honor nor he ever betrayed her trust in him. Still, she couldn’t help but be disturbed by the way how he treated Brynhild. Whenever the Valkyrie was around, the princess would often notice that the hero’s eyes sparkled with a love and longing that were never directed to her.

    This situation brought great distress to Gudrun. At first she attempted to restrain herself but, as time passed, the turmoil in her heart for seeing Sigurd desire a woman other than herself only grew more fierce. Until finally, during a foolish quarrel about whose husband was superior, Gudrun lost control of herself and committed a mistake that couldn’t be taken back: she told Brynhild what she knew about the plot that led her into marrying Gunnar.

    What happened next doesn’t even needs to be said. Brynhild incited Gunnar against Sigurd, spreading lies about liberties that were taken with her. Gunnar, who at the time was blind of greed towards Fafnir’s treasure, carried out a treacherous plot that ultimately took Sigurd’s life.

    Gudrun never forgave herself for what happened that day. Although she mainly blamed her brother for what happened, she also had enough self-awareness to admit her own part in that tragedy. According to legends, she spent the next 13 years of her life in mourning clothes, constantly grieving for her beloved’s death.

    Witch of Vengeance

    Meanwhile, an ill omen approached from the east. The Hunnic Empire had grown strong and its conquered territories now reached the borders of Burgundy. It would be just a matter of time before the Huns set their eyes into Niflungs’ lands.

    Without a hero on the level of Sigurd on their side, Burgundy had no chances of victory. So Gunnar, who was king at the time, constantly sought for a way that would protect the sovereignty of the Niflungs without having to face the Huns in the battlefield. When he was about to give up hope, a certain piece of information reached his ears: the king of the Hunnic Empire, the warlord Attila, was in search of a new wife after recently becoming a widower.

    Thanking heavens for this godsend, Gunnar soon plotted to have his sister Gudrun taken by Attila as a bride. By doing so, he hoped to use the bonds of kinship that would be established between the two royal houses as leverage to keep the Huns from invading Burgundy. Fortunately for him, words of his sister’s beauty had reached even the far corners of the Hunnic Empire, so it wasn’t so hard for him to set a deal with the warlord.

    On the other hand, Gudrun was far from pleased with this arrangement. While she never sought retribution against Gunnar for the death of Sigurd, neither had she forgiven him either. Instead, she had chosen to simply ignore him for the rest of their lives. However, seeing her happiness be reduced to a mere political coin was more of a humiliation than she could take. After this, she became dead set into taking her revenge.

    After her marriage with Attila, Gudrun told her new husband the story of Fafnir’s treasure. She told him that, by the law of Burgundy, that treasure became rightfully hers after the death of Sigurd. She told him that, by marring her, Attila too had a claim on the gold. Finally, she told him that her brother unjustly keeping away what belonged to the both of them.

    As Gudrun hoped, Attila’s greed was enticed and he got in conflict with Gunnar over the possession of the treasure. It didn’t take long for her brother to lose his life in Attila’s hand. However, contrary to expectations, Gunnar made sure that Fafnir’s treasure would be forever lost with his death. Mad for letting his prey escape, Attila released his frustrations by laying waste to Burgundy.

    This outcome shocked Gudrun. Despite plotting for Gunnar’s demise, the destruction of her homeland was something that she never desired. Drowning in despair and regret for the second time in her life, the princess of the Niflungs decided to put an end to everything. As a bare minimum form of atonement towards her people, who were slaughtered by the Huns, Gudrun killed Attila and his men by burning down their fortress while they were still inside. Then, she took her own life by throwing herself on the Rhine River to drown.
    Last edited by Master of Chaos; January 11th, 2016 at 12:50 PM.

    Master of Chaos' Servant Standards

    F/GO ID: 011416057/カオス

    quote for higher truth
    Quote Originally Posted by Hawkeye View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Mcjon01 View Post
    Get famous in America, you're American. That's literally how America works.
    Unless you're Justin Bieber, Canada didn't want him, but America refuses to claim responsibility
    Quote Originally Posted by In a certain South Park episode...
    Kyle Broflovski: And what happens when an invulnerable cheater comes up against an elitist corporate dictator?
    Eric Cartman: A perfect storm of hypocrisy that everyone in the country has to deal with for months on end.

  5. #11305
    Class: Rider
    True Name: William Marshal
    Origin: England
    Lifetime: 1146-1219
    Alignment: Lawful Good

    Stats

    Strength: B
    Endurance: A
    Agility: C
    Magic: D
    Luck: A+
    Noble Phantasm: B


    Class Skills
    Riding: A

    Because of his great skill at riding, he can mount all creatures but those of Phantasmal Beast and Divine Beast-rank. He is also able to drive modern vehicles with expert skill.

    Magic Resistance: D
    Nullifies single-action spells. Magic Resistance equivalent to an amulet that rejects magical energy.

    Personal Skills
    Bravery: B

    Ability to ignore mental interference such as coercion, confusion, and illusions.

    Charisma: B
    Natural talent to command an army and lead a country. As regent of England, he managed to save the country from invasion and civil war, as well as bringing it back in shape.

    Instinct: C
    The ability to "feel" the best course for oneself during battle. His sharp instincts are used to optimize his position and identify any favorable developments that can be exploited. His instincts also help determining the power and intent of an opponent before engagement.

    Noble Phantasms
    View Full Set

    Tancred: Trusted Steel of Knighthood (C)
    Anti-Unit
    This fine and battle-hardened longsword is Marshal’s primary weapon. At his knighting ceremony, his lord and mentor William de Tancarville girded the sheathed sword on his waist. From that day forward, the sword stayed with him until his death. Through its long service, the blade has become sharp and strong enough to cut through most defenses. There are but little armor and few shields that can withstand the blade’s edge: In his old age, he cleaved a man’s head in two through both his helm and mail coif like it was nothing. The toughness of the blade also makes it nigh unbreakable.

    Lance du Lion: The Lionheart Unhorsed (C+)

    Anti-Unit
    A long and sharp lance employed primarily on horseback. Through Marshal’s great feats of knocking his opponents off their horses, this seemingly simple but deadly lance has taken on abilities of its own. In particular, his feat of unhorsing Richard the Lionheart at Le Mans – where he spared the rebellious prince but killed his horse to prove a point – has had an effect on the lance.
    If the lance makes a clean hit on an opponent’s upper body (whether it pierces or not), they will be thrown to the ground for a very short moment by an unseen force. If the lance hits an opponent’s mount, whether it is a living beast or modern vehicle, the damage effect is increased, likely killing or destroying it immediately.
    Lance du Lion also receives a huge boost in power from the speed of his horse. The faster he rides, the more powerful the lance becomes. At its fastest, the lance becomes powerful enough to pierce through most physical and magical protection, making it a potential instant kill depending on the opponent’s toughness. Lance du Lion has a high chance of breaking upon a strong impact, but it can be easily remade outside of combat.

    Blancart: Glory of the White Charger (B)

    Anti-Unit
    Marshal’s most beloved steed, Blancart is a great white warhorse wearing protective barding. Having lost his own warhorse in his first battle, his lord William de Tancarville promised him a new one. But Marshal was last in line, leaving him with an otherwise magnificent horse that was so wild no one was able to tame and ride it. Nevertheless, Marshal managed to tame the wild beast, not by bending it to his will, but by adjusting the bit of the bridle so it did not hurt the horse’s sensitive mouth. Having won its loyalty, he named the horse Blancart, and the two went on to win great glory together.
    With a powerful body and strong legs, Blancart’s hooves are capable of smashing foes like powerful flails. However, Blancart’s greatest asset is its speed: In life, it was able to run faster than a hawk could fly and dive. As if it was running on the wind, the horse is able to cover long distances in a short time, while its leap carries it far through the air just as effortlessly. Adding to the already impressive speed, the more ground that Blancart covers in a charge, the faster it becomes; at its fastest, the wind warps around the horse, offering both Marshal and Blancart limited protection against ranged attacks. Blancart’s great speed also adds to the power behind Marshal’s attacks, a boost Lance du Lion in particular benefits from.

    Biography
    Born in either 1146 or 1147 as the fourth son of John Marshal and unlikely to inherit anything, William Marshal died in 1219 as Earl of Pembroke and regent of England. He had risen from a lowly landless knight to one of the most powerful men Europe and renowned as the greatest knight that ever lived. Throughout his long life, he had personally served five English kings: Henry II, Henry the Young King (Henry II’s co-ruler), Richard I the Lionheart, John, and Henry III. He was both a loyal friend and reluctant foe to the kings and princes, for the rulers he served often fought amongst each other.

    As a child during the Anarchy, he was a hostage to King Stephen. When his father refused to surrender, Stephen could not bring himself to kill the young boy and spared him. He later joined the household of William de Tancarville, where was educated and trained as a knight. During this time, he acquired a reputation for sleeping late and overeating, earning him the nickname “Greedy Guts”. Despite this, William de Tancarville saw great potential in Marshal and personally knighted him during a campaign in Upper Normandy. Freshly knighted by his lord and mentor, he quickly proved himself in his first battle, witnesses saying he took down somewhere between 40 or 60 enemies by himself. He also learned the hard way the importance of taking prisoners for ransom, as his horse died in the fighting and he was unable to pay tribute to the lords he served. William de Tancarville thankfully provided him with a magnificent new warhorse, though he had to tame the wild beast first. Riding the now-tamed horse Blancart, he proved to be a natural on the tournament field. The tournaments of the 12th century were not jousts, but large staged melees between opposing teams, and the goal was to capture and ransom as many knights as possible. It was in these tournaments he earned his fame, holding a record of 500 defeated and ransomed opponents by the time of his death.

    Serving with his uncle the Earl of Salisbury, he saved Eleanor of Aquitaine from an ambush by the rebellious Lusignon brothers, allowing the queen to slip away. Unfortunately, his uncle was killed in the ambush and William himself was wounded and captured. Luckily, the queen herself repaid the favor and personally paid the young knight’s ransom. His great skill and bravery quickly brought him into the service of Henry II’s son and heir, Henry the Young King, who had been crowned as co-ruler alongside his father. Unusually for a landless knight, he was selected to train Henry and was later given the incredible honor of personally knighting him. Together, they fought in both tournaments and wars. During this time, his feats and prowess earned him his own heraldry and battle cry: “Dex aïe li Mareschal!” (God be with the Marshal)

    Alas, the Young King died young and Marshal took his cross on a crusade to Jerusalem. There he met the Knights Templar, whom he promised to join on his deathbed. He later returned to England to serve the Young King’s father, Henry II. His service under Henry II was rewarded with both land and a promised marriage to the young heiress Isabel de Clare. Late in Henry’s reign, he even unhorsed the otherwise undefeated and rebellious Richard the Lionheart, whom he could have killed but chose to spare. When Henry II died, Richard confronted Marshal about their previous encounter, but instead confirmed the marriage that Henry II had promised him. Having married the young heir, he became one of the richest men in England. During Richard’s crusade, he was part of the council that ruled England and took the side of the loyalists against John when he plotted to take the crown for himself, before Richard himself returned from captivity.

    He served King John loyally after Richard's death, though he was continually mistreated, with several of his lands taken away and his sons made hostages. He was eventually restored to royal favor and took the king’s side against the barons when they rebelled against him. When John died, England was in a state of civil war, with the rebellious barons having invited Prince Louis of France to become king. Now roughly 70 years old, Marshal was chosen as regent for John’s young son Henry III. Leading the war and personally winning the battle of Lincoln, he saved the English House of Plantagenet. He reissued the Magna Carta that John had refused to abide by and spent the remaining years of his life administrating the country. As he had promised during his time in the Holy Land, he was inducted into the Knights Templar on his deathbed in 1219. He died peacefully at the age of 72 and was buried in the Temple Church in London, where his tomb can still be found.
    Last edited by Dawnfeld; June 30th, 2015 at 07:50 AM.

  6. #11306
    アルテミット・ワン Ultimate One
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    ^ personally, when the hero at hand isn't exactly world-reknowned, I'd say it's better to put at least a short biography of him.

    Quote Originally Posted by Master of Chaos View Post
    On that regard, here is a something to think over: there is an academic theory that "Pythia" was not an individual name, but something like a professional title. An alias adopted by all the priestesses who became the oracle of Delphi after they took office. In a sense, it is not all that different from a certain faceless leader of that famous sect of assassins.
    19 prophecy techniques?

    An interesting idea. Great development. Though I have to ask: why didn't you give him a Skill related to musical performance, like the one David from early-stages Apocrypha had?
    Honestly?

    It never crossed my mind. What can I say, different people think differently.

    I guess it can be said I'd find it redundant. There is no real reason to explicate he has talent in music when being a very good violinist is 75% of his shtick, plus his ability in playing is already talked about in his NP. In other words, it's apparent from the start, no real need to highlight the point further, I guess.

    On another note, maybe Territory Creation would be better if converted into a Noble Phantasm? Also, that Skill Faustian Pact sounds sort of confusing to me.
    Paganini wasn't an architect, or ever someone who built opera houses. Even so, as a good artist and musician, he knows how to arrange the surroundings to better suit a musical performance, in order to enhance it at the best possible. But even so, it's a skill he gets by being precisely summoned in the Caster class.

    Faustian Pact is meant to establish that, when he died as a young boy, he was actually saved, and fused, with a demon. I guess you could have it that is "territory" can be the reality marble, but in this case, I preferred to go with something more similar to Nrvnqsr Chaos: instead of outwards, the reality marble is confined to his body and soul, and the music he plays, his "spells", are created inside and then emanated ouwards.

    And speaking of confusing, all his NPs have quite vague descriptions of their effects. Do you think you could go into a little more detail next time, please?
    Infernaldivino has a vague description because it doesn't have just one effect: it's the equivalent of magic spell(s), which can be used to enchant the opponent or defeat them, like Siren Sorrento or Benetnasch Mime from Saint Seiya.

    Paganini Non Ripete is sort of a personal version of Battle Continuation: as long as he can squeeze a note out of his violin, he can and will continue to play, and because it's such an astounding performance which will not be repeated, you are enchanted into hearing it until the end. Kinda of a needed skill otherwise you'd wonder "why don't they just cut him down while he's still playing?"
    Last edited by Sherrinford; May 30th, 2015 at 07:58 AM.


  7. #11307
    Thanks for the advice, I've now put a biography for him at the end. Don't know if it needs to be shortened, but I'd say it's a decent summary of his life. Still a bit unsure about the Bravery skill, but keeping it so far.

  8. #11308
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors Hawkeye's Avatar
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    Welp, here goes, I've seen people wonder about musicians before, and I'm sure some will hate this cause I made another 'Caster who doesn't do magic' thing, but here we are.

    Spoiler:

    Class: Caster
    Age: 15


    Spirit: Ludwig van Beethoven




    Strength: E
    Endurance: D
    Agility: C+
    Mana: B
    Luck: C
    N. Phantasm: B


    Personality: Half deaf and ill mannered, Ludwig detested being told what to do and will readily ignore his master even if he hears them. Despite this he has a good sense of showmanship and humour, presenting himself as some sort of Rock and Roll legend despite his history.


    Appearance: A short young man with wild black hair held away from his face by a pair of headphones bearing his initials. He wears a navy tailcoat which is a few sizes too large, adding a flowing sense to his attire, a white shirt under a black waistcoat. Covering his legs are black trousers and polished formal shoes.


    Class Skills:
    Item Construction [C] – Out of necessity, Caster is capable of creating ethereal keyboards on which to play, but since it's not a skill he had in life, they are strictly temporary.


    Territory Creation [D] – Caster's style does not lend well to having a singular 'space' in which to function. At this level, he is merely capable of making a room 'better suited' to his needs. A skill that could be achieved easily by human hands.


    Personal Skills:
    Distant Bells [A] – An affliction from life that creates a severe ringing and deafness in the servant's ears. While unpleasant for the sufferer, it allows them to avoid interference from any ability reliant on sound or other forms of mental interference.


    Sensory Notes [B] – Having learned to feel vibrations through the ground to compensate for lack of hearing, this ability is heightened as a heroic spirit, allowing Caster to sense anything moving around him if he focuses. While usually a useless skill for attempting to fight opponents head on, it serves to prevent unexpected assaults from behind.


    Noble Phantasm:


    Curse of the Ninth: The Unfinished Symphony
    Rank: B
    Type: Anti-Unit (Self)


    Taking the form of an unfinished set of sheet music. The curse of the ninth is a superstition once held about classical composers, dooming them to death before completing their tenth symphony. Further investigation proved it to be widely apocryphal. Despite this, the most famous case where this curse proved true is with Ludwig van Beethoven, making this a phantasm worthy of the composer.


    Schoenberg wrote regarding the curseIt seems that the Ninth is a limit. He who wants to go beyond it must pass away. It seems as if something might be imparted to us in the Tenth which we ought not yet to know, for which we are not ready.” In this regard, attempting to create a tenth symphony is regarded as challenging fate itself, and is a means to reach closer to a 'truth' which humanity is not yet ready for.


    Once activated the sheet music will begin to compose itself, burning into the paper as it hovers around Caster. A Suicidal Phantasm that vastly increases Caster's power at the cost of rapidly burning away his life, for before the final note is inscribed, it is guaranteed that the life of Caster will end.


    Unsterbliche Geliebte: Ode to my Immortal Beloved
    Rank: Unknown
    Type: Unknown


    The undelivered letter composed by Ludwig whilst he rested at Teplitz. A Phantasm that is utterly unique to him, it describes over its ten pages, in his hand, the depth of his feelings for an unnamed recipient whom he calls his 'immortal beloved'. It appears as a sealed envelope that remains on his person at all times. For some reason, he has no idea what the letter's function is, or even for whom it was intended, a fact he attributes to being incarnated as his younger self.
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    C+ Agility on a fart like Beethoven sounds mildly implausible, and if the "utterly unique" thing is supposed to imply what I think it is, thats not how things work, really.

    Otherwise a good sheet.
    Last edited by Christemo; May 30th, 2015 at 09:58 PM.

  10. #11310
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors Hawkeye's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Christemo View Post
    C+ Agility on a fart like Beethoven sounds mildly implausible, and if the "utterly unique" thing is supposed to imply what I think it is, thats not how things work, really.

    Otherwise a good sheet.
    Eh, Casters average agility is C, the + in this case representing his ability to retreat more than anything.

    Though what do you think "utterly unique" is supposed to imply?
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hawkeye View Post

    Though what do you think "utterly unique" is supposed to imply?
    Obviously that a certain hoarder wouldn't have it.

  12. #11312
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors Hawkeye's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Christemo View Post
    Obviously that a certain hoarder wouldn't have it.
    Eh? Well since we've gone over this time and time again, I'd say he wouldn't have this partcular letter, but I'll concede he'd have a prototype as some "Letter of Unrequited Love".

    Though when I say utterly unique here, it's actually because his other Phantasm 'Curse of the Ninth' could potentially be shared to any Composer Heroic Spirit who suffered the same fate, like how Hanging Gardens of Babylon is shared between Semiramis and Nebuchadnezzar II.
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    That makes more sense, thanks for the clearup.

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    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors Hawkeye's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Christemo View Post
    That makes more sense, thanks for the clearup.
    No problem.
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  15. #11315
    アルテミット・ソット Ultimate Thot Five_X's Avatar
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    If anyone was wondering, I did see the Hannibal sheets cropping up; I just don't have the time and couldn't be bothered to scrape up the effort to post something about it. :/

    Maybe I'll just write a "Hannibal Barca fact-sheet" or something one of these days...
    <NEW FIC!> Revolution #9: Somewhere out there, there's a universe in which your mistakes and failures never happened, and all you wished for is true. How hard would you fight to make that real?

    [11:20:46 AM] GlowStiks: lucina is supes attractive
    [12:40] Lace: lucina is amazing
    [12:40] Neir: lucina is pretty much flawless

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    Also I3 and Petri should update the OP soon since activity here has increased somewhat since the last update.
    Last edited by Christemo; May 31st, 2015 at 04:42 AM.

  17. #11317
    woolooloo Kirby's Avatar
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    Think Aleister Crowley could be a Servant? The cutoff date's a bit weird with him, seeing as how he was born in the 1800s but died in the 1900s
    Quote Originally Posted by Dullahan View Post
    there aren't enough gun emojis in the thousandfold trichiliocosm for this shit


    Linger: Complete. August, 1995. I met him. A branch off Part 3. Mikiya keeps his promise to meet Azaka, and meets again with that mysterious girl he once found in the rain.
    Shinkai: Set in the Edo period. DHO-centric. As mysterious figures gather in the city, a young woman unearths the dark secrets of the Asakami family.
    The Dollkeeper: A Fate side-story. The memoirs of the last tuner of the Einzberns. A record of the end of a family.
    Overcount 2030: Extra x Notes. A girl with no memories is found by a nameless soldier, and wakes up to a world of war.

  18. #11318
    後継者 Successor Master of Chaos's Avatar
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    Considering that we've already seen similar precedents, it is possible. However, he'll probably be a very low tier Heroic Spirit.

    Master of Chaos' Servant Standards

    F/GO ID: 011416057/カオス

    quote for higher truth
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    Get famous in America, you're American. That's literally how America works.
    Unless you're Justin Bieber, Canada didn't want him, but America refuses to claim responsibility
    Quote Originally Posted by In a certain South Park episode...
    Kyle Broflovski: And what happens when an invulnerable cheater comes up against an elitist corporate dictator?
    Eric Cartman: A perfect storm of hypocrisy that everyone in the country has to deal with for months on end.

  19. #11319
    屍鬼 Ghoul Breogan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kirby View Post
    Think Aleister Crowley could be a Servant? The cutoff date's a bit weird with him, seeing as how he was born in the 1800s but died in the 1900s
    Given that what made the chances of any human getting into the Throne lower by a large margin was the appearance of modern weaponry, I would say it is less about 'when did he die?' and more about 'when did his legendary actions take place, and how did he accomplish them?'.

    As far as I remember, the main reason for the decline of heroes was the fact that modern weaponry made them... 'obsolete' in a sense. If his legend was carried out unaided by such things, he would fit the mold, and moreso if it was carried out before the 'deadline'.

    This is only my own take on it, so take it with a grain of salt. Sorry if it goes contrary to enstablished canon or something. It has been a while since I last checked up on this.

    Now, to make a Hakuno sheet...

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    Aleister Crowley died in 1947 but his whole schtick was basically that he singlehandedly revived the interest for european magic.

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