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Thread: Create-a-Servant

  1. #9101
    O Beast of CaerbannogAAAAARRGH!!? castor212's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Arashi_Leonhart View Post
    Why would they do that?
    Just asking. All I know is that Gilgamesh rank's was down because he dislikes god, and I was wandering. Circe's first attempt of murder pissed his father Helios too.
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  2. #9102
    O Beast of CaerbannogAAAAARRGH!!? castor212's Avatar
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    Done (I guess).

    Personal Information:


    Class Name : Caster
    True Name : Circe
    Sex :
    Female
    Alignment : Neutral Evil
    Height / Weight : 165cm/52kg



    Background:
    Spoiler:
    A witch most renowned for her vast knowledge of potions and herbs. Through the use of magical potions and a wand or a staff, she transformed her enemies, or those who offended her, into animals. She is daughter of the sun god Helios and Sea Nymph Perse, the daughter of Okeanos. Between the 3 child of Helios and Perse, the other 2 being Aeetes and Pasiphae, she was the most unstable; strong willed and arrogant to an extreme degree.

    She had been married to the prince of Colchis, whose Kingdom was located near the Black Sea. The prince, whose name hadn't even remembered in modern days, had no choice in the matter of marriage, as Aeetes, Circe's brother, was the king of Colchis and the one who arranged the marriage. Circe, on the other hand, was full of joy and and just couldn't wait for it. She was determined to love him as much as she can, but alas, the prince of Colchis simply does not love her. He hid it well, and treat her with as much respect as he can. But Circe knew that this marriage is fake, a fraud. Her revelation enraged her, and her joy and love turned into hate in a flash. With her mind snapped she poisoned the prince almost immediately after their marriage.

    When the matter was out in the open to her father, Helios realizes that her daughter cannot be left alone, and, as her daughter was an immortal, decided to exile her to the solitary island of Aeaea, where the damage caused by her can be isolized.

    Circe since then had been wishing for a man who will love her, completely and without reservation. Her wish turned into ambition, and later fell into a form of degrading love. She had been since then looking for her ideal man, the one who won't ever leave her and unconditionally love her.

    In one occasion, when Odysseus and his men stranded in Aeaea, she was joyed to have male visitors. However, upon seeing the crewmen, she felt that none of them was worthy enough of her, and then proceeded on inviting Odysseus' crew to a feast of familiar food, a pottage of cheese and meal, sweetened with honey and laced with wine, but also laced with one of her magical potions, and drunk from an enchanted cup. Thus so she turned them all into swine with a wand after they gorged themselves on it, as she feel that those are the from most fitting of them all.

    Only Eurylochus, suspecting treachery from the outset, escaped to warn Odysseus and the others who had stayed behind at the ships. Odysseus set out to rescue his men, but was intercepted by the messenger god, Hermes, who had been sent by Athena. Hermes told Odysseus to use the holy herb moly to protect himself from Circe's potion and, having resisted it, to draw his sword and act as if he were to attack Circe. From there, Circe would ask him to bed, but Hermes advised caution, for even there the goddess would be treacherous. She would take his manhood unless he had her swear by the names of the gods that she would not.

    Odysseus’ actions totally surprised Circe, and she immediately surrendered to him. Then she released all twenty-two of his men, and went even further as to offer her home and hospitality to stay there for what is believed to have been for at least one year. During that year, having already sword to not hurt Odysseus and his man, Circe used the roundabout way to seduce Odyssey, giving him much needed advice, telling him that he needed to travel to the Underworld, and once there seek out Teiresias of Thebes, who would tell him exactly what he had to do in order to settle his problems with Poseidon.

    However, even those one year was not enough to bend Odysseus. After that one year, he wished to finish his task and go home. Circe, unable to cross her own swear, could only let him go. when she said her final farewell to him, she even told him how to sail safely past the Island of the Sirens, and the six-headed Scylla who haunted the Straits of Messina in partnership with the monster whirlpool Charybdis.

    It was the first time the witch experienced a full broken heart.

    At another occasion, Circe met Glaucus, a mortal fishermen turned to god. She fell for him and decided to slowly tried to make Glaucus love her back. However, Glaucus fell in love with the beautiful nymph Scylla and wanted her for his wife, but she was appalled by his fish-like features and fled onto land when he tried to approach her. He asked the Circe for a potion to make Scylla fall in love with him. She was completely astounded, that he could even consider asking for her help, so that he might pursue another woman. She tried to win his heart with her most passionate and loving words, telling him to scorn Scylla and stay with her. But he replied that trees would grow on the ocean floor and seaweed would grow on the highest mountain before he would stop loving Scylla. In her anger to both Glaucus and Scylla, Circe decided to break them by poisoning the pool where Scylla bathed, which caused Scylla to transform into a monster with four eyes and six long necks equipped with grisly heads.

    This action was a completely different action then the one that Circe used when she turned Odysseus’ men into swine. This time, she was consumed with jealousy, and it was because of that jealousy that she did, indeed, perform magecraft that would change a person’s soul.

    Her end of life was blurry at best; it was never known in legend whether she found the man of her dream or not. Some records said that she was killed by Telemachus, son of Odysseus and Penelope. Later traditions tell of her leaving or even destroying the island and moving to Italy, where she was identified with Cape Circeo.

    When summoned in the Holy Grail War, she immediately laid her eyes upon his Master, a young magus in his early twenties. He was ambitious, but takes a lot of careful methods and lacking the motivation to go on the offensive. In that regards, Caster's abilities suits him perfectly. Circe doesn't actually want the Holy Grail, she only needs because the circumstances demand her to obtain it in order to preserve the life she has with her Master.

    No one, and nothing, will separate her from him this time.



    Parameters:


    Strength : E
    Endurance : D
    Agility : D
    Prana : A
    Luck : C
    Noble Phantasm : A



    Class Skill:

    Territory Creation : A
    Creation of a "Temple", which is superior to a "Workshop", becomes possible.

    Item Construction : A
    Capable of making an array potion with long-lasting effect, including healing potions that grant limited immortality.



    Personal Skill:

    Divinity : B (A)
    Strength of one's godlike nature. The more godlike blood one possessed, the higher this stat becomes.
    Caster's original ranking of this skill is A due to her being the daughter of Helios and Perse, but her various deeds during life shame Helios and effectuates a rank down.

    Transformation : A
    The ability to perform a physical and spiritual structure alteration of organic bodies. Differs from Alchemy's alteration and manipulation of matter.
    Effects can be nulled for Servants with high enough rank at Magic Resistance.

    High-Speed Divine Words : A
    The power to activate Thaumaturgy without the use of Magic Circuits. The language of the Age of Gods, back when words played a heavy role in spellcasting. As such, it is power long lost by modern magi.
    High-Thaumaturgy-level Magecraft can be cast at the speed of Single-Action spells.



    Noble Phantasm:

    Isle of Dawn
    Aeaea
    Rank: A
    Type: Anti-Army
    Range: 1-99
    Maximum Targets:

    The isle where Circe spent most of her time in exile, generated as her Reality Marble.
    In it was recorded the existences of an enormous amount of beast and chimeras at the ranks of Monstrous Beast. They can be rendered either docile or hostile at Circe's will.
    Generally, most of them is not much of match against a Servant one-on-one. What makes them dangerous are their method of attack; a continuous assault focused on war of attrition and barrage of beasts. However, the beasts' attack is uncoordinated at best, since they are limited in intelligence.
    The Reality Marble itself could be disrupted until it cannot be maintained anymore with an attack with high enough output to destroy half or more of Aeaea.
    The beasts dwelling within the isle includes deformed versions of chained black lions, a gigantic albino bristled boar, house-sized bears, and herds of grey dire wolves.

    <in process>
    Yes, this is cropping parts from Rider's NP, and I thought it's alright if I add some details that are fundamentally different. Then again, standard here is pretty high. My fault though, spent too much time in the background. Lemme try brainstorming further.

    EDIT: I gave up. Aeaea's effect has already very much represent that of the legend. It's just that it does have the same concept with Rider's. It has been twinkled a bit here and there, but I dont think I can change the core mechanism. If it still uncomfortingly similar to Rider's though, can anyone give suggestion?



    Design:

    The idea is... well, yandere.

    Background is a total pain in the ass to make, but I felt that the result is worth it. I might've added several "assumed" stuff too, aligned with her legend. Circe's legends simply weren't much.

    Basically Medea with magical steroid, I guess. I really don't know if this is too nerfed down or to broken, still need more polishing up.



    Critics are more than welcomed, but please be gentle with me. I have a fragile kokoro m(_ _)m.
    Last edited by castor212; August 3rd, 2014 at 11:25 PM.
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  3. #9103
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    >Reality Marble with Phantasmal Beasts

    >Copypasted Fragments!Rider Noble Phantasm

    0/10 try again.

  4. #9104
    アルテミット・ワン Ultimate One Kat's Avatar
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    Fakers, women and children.

  5. #9105
    O Beast of CaerbannogAAAAARRGH!!? castor212's Avatar
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    Ugehh, so it's really no good eh...

    I can't really think of another effect of her island though. Lemmy brainstorm further.
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  6. #9106
    O Beast of CaerbannogAAAAARRGH!!? castor212's Avatar
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    Okay, I gave up. The only thing that qualifies as her Noble Phantasm is Aeaea, and honestly, the NP's effect has already very much represent that of the legend. It's just that it does have the same concept with Rider's. I'll do a twinkle a bit here and there, but I dont think I can change the core mechanism. If it still uncomfortingly similar to Rider's, can anyone give suggestion?

    Also, Knight of Khaos, I just realized the NP's effect really mimic yours. I am sorry, but I just dont think the effect could be more fitting than this.
    Last edited by castor212; August 3rd, 2014 at 11:31 PM.
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  7. #9107
    Onirique Daiki's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Christemo View Post
    >Reality Marble with Phantasmal Beasts

    >Copypasted Fragments!Rider Noble Phantasm

    0/10 try again.
    I don't think he qualifies as one who would be aware about Fragments. And I don't see how having a NP similar to another one makes his profile not valid.

    Quote Originally Posted by castor212 View Post
    If it still uncomfortingly similar to Rider's, can anyone give suggestion?
    My suggestion is to go with what you want.

  8. #9108
    ジュカイン Lycodrake's Avatar
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    If we always went with "too similar to X, invalid" then all beam-swords would be invalid except Excalibur.
    Quote Originally Posted by Seika View Post
    Yes, excellent. Go, Lyco, my proxy.
    F/GO SUPPORT

  9. #9109
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six Zork Knight's Avatar
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    Already posted this guy as a Lancer, but he's just so damn versatile...

    Servant info:
    Spoiler:

    "(...) so you go there and stab the shit out of him"

    Name:
    Diomedes, the Cunning King
    Class: Berserker (can also be summoned as Saber, Lancer or Rider)
    Gender: Male
    Alignment: Lawful Good

    Strength: B
    Endurance: B
    Agility: C
    Mana: D
    Luck: C
    Noble Phantasm: D


    Skills
    Spoiler:
    Class Skills:

    Mad Enhancement: D
    Rank-up to Strength and Agility, but the servant suffers from limited language skill and difficulty with continuing complex thoughts.

    Personal Skills:

    Affections of the Goddess: A (B)
    Rank-Up for Strength, Endurance and Agility. While Diomedes' original Rank in this skill is A, he takes a penalty due to the Berserker class being incompatible with Athena.

    Battle Continuation: B
    Wounds that aren't fatal or crippling can be ignored without problem.

    Divinity: E+++
    While Diomedes was born with some divine blood, it comes from over three generations past. However, later in his life, he was made a lesser god of war by Athena. Thus, he can potentially raise the rank of this skill.

    Military Tactics: C
    Bonus to Strength and Agility when using or facing an Anti-Army Noble Phantasm. Not usable under the effects of Mad Enhancement.

    Mystic Eyes: D
    Mystic Eyes that allow the user to identify Divine Spirits, as well as servants with the Divinity skill.

    Prana Burst (Flames): C
    Capable of imbuing his shield and sword with a flame effect.


    Noble Phantasm
    Spoiler:
    Boar of Argos – Son of Tydeus

    Anti-Unit, Anti-Unit (Self), Rank D

    The golden sword, shield and cuirass Diomedes inherited from his father Tydeus, all three bearing the image of a boar. Forged by a mortal smith and blessed by Athena, each piece of the set can be used separately, although alone they are not as strong as a Noble Phantasm. The sword will grant him a boost to Strength, while the shield and cuirass will boost his Endurance. Wearing all three pieces of the set will reduce the effect of Mad Enhancement on his sanity by 1 Rank. However, by spending additional prana, it is possible to exchange the increase in his sanity for a temporary Rank-Up to Mad Enhancement.
    Last edited by Zork Knight; August 4th, 2014 at 12:22 PM.

  10. #9110
    The Long-Forgotten Sight Rafflesiac's Avatar
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    Damn...

    With Mad Enhancement and Affections of the Goddess, he ends up at:
    Strength: A+
    Endurance: A+
    Agility: A
    Mana: B
    Luck: A
    For his Noble Phantasm, does losing the insanity take away his stat buffs too, or does he just remain uber-broken in stats?
    Quote Originally Posted by Arashi_Leonhart View Post
    canon finish apo vol 3

  11. #9111
    ジュカイン Lycodrake's Avatar
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    Diomedes was a bit of a badass.
    Quote Originally Posted by Seika View Post
    Yes, excellent. Go, Lyco, my proxy.
    F/GO SUPPORT

  12. #9112
    アルテミット・ワン Ultimate One forumghost's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lycodrake View Post
    Diomedes was a bit of a badass.
    Oh he was a total badass. Dude basically held the line at Troy while Achilles was being a whiny little bitch.

    Still, that NP is pretty bullshit-level. Either "lol I'm immune to the mental effects of ME" or "lol my stats are now even higher" whenever he wants? So OP- at least when you combine it with all his other shit.

    I guess what I'm saying is, "why not just use one if the NP you already made for him, rather than one tailor-made to counter any negatives of the class"
    Last edited by forumghost; August 3rd, 2014 at 08:44 PM.

  13. #9113
    ジュカイン Lycodrake's Avatar
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    There is definitely room for improvement, but I'd say there is a lot of potential in the idea(s).

    Though I wish Seika were around to point out some details we are all missing.
    Quote Originally Posted by Seika View Post
    Yes, excellent. Go, Lyco, my proxy.
    F/GO SUPPORT

  14. #9114
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six Zork Knight's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rafflesiac View Post
    For his Noble Phantasm, does losing the insanity take away his stat buffs too, or does he just remain uber-broken in stats?
    He keeps the broken stats. Basically, as a Berserker, he loses his god-killing stuff and the Palladium so that he can have ungodly parameters.

    Quote Originally Posted by forumghost View Post
    Still, that NP is pretty bullshit-level. Either "lol I'm immune to the mental effects of ME" or "lol my stats are now even higher" whenever he wants? So OP- at least when you combine it with all his other shit.
    Berserker Diomedes has, at best, near-Herk parameters and flaming sword/shield. And that's it. No funky effects like 11 extra lives or being immune to damage from those without Divinity of a certain rank.

  15. #9115
    The Long-Forgotten Sight Rafflesiac's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BehemothV2 View Post
    Berserker Diomedes has, at best, near-Herk parameters and flaming sword/shield. And that's it. No funky effects like 11 extra lives or being immune to damage from those without Divinity of a certain rank.
    Wouldn't his max of A++ Strength (plus a boost), A+ Endurance (plus a boost) and A+ Agility be higher than Herakles?
    Quote Originally Posted by Arashi_Leonhart View Post
    canon finish apo vol 3

  16. #9116
    アルテミット・ワン Ultimate One forumghost's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BehemothV2 View Post
    Berserker Diomedes has, at best, near-Herk parameters and flaming sword/shield. And that's it. No funky effects like 11 extra lives or being immune to damage from those without Divinity of a certain rank.
    True. I guess I just find it annoying that like, 90% of Berserker stat-sheets go out of their way to negate the effects of ME. Kinda defeats the point of the class to me...

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by Rafflesiac View Post
    Wouldn't his max of A++ Strength (plus a boost), A+ Endurance (plus a boost) and A+ Agility be higher than Herakles?
    Yup Herk is;

    A+ Str
    A End
    A Agi

    At full power, Diomedies would out-rank Herakles in all stats but Mana
    Last edited by forumghost; August 3rd, 2014 at 08:51 PM.

  17. #9117
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six Zork Knight's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rafflesiac View Post
    Wouldn't his max of A++ Strength (plus a boost), A+ Endurance (plus a boost) and A+ Agility be higher than Herakles?
    Herk has A++ Strength, A+ Endurance and A+ Agility by just being Berserker. Diomedes, on the other hand, requires the use of his Noble Phantasm (which is pretty much three Noble Phantasms under the same name), plus an additional spending of prana.

    Also, Lancelot is a thing.

    Quote Originally Posted by forumghost View Post
    True. I guess I just find it annoying that like, 90% of Berserker stat-sheets go out of their way to negate the effects of ME. Kinda defeats the point of the class to me...
    Well, he IS the crush champion of the goddess of wisdom. Being able to regain his sanity makes sense. Kinda.
    Last edited by Zork Knight; August 3rd, 2014 at 09:00 PM.

  18. #9118
    鬼 Ogre-like You's Avatar
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    Lu Bu has better stats than Herc with his A+ STR and A+ END.

    Also Mystic Eyes usually affect the outside world. I think a high rank of clairvoyance would be more suited since at higher levels you get different sights like X-ray etc. God vision seems to fit that bill.
    Last edited by You; August 3rd, 2014 at 09:01 PM.

  19. #9119
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six Zork Knight's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by You View Post
    Also Mystic Eyes usually affect the outside world. I think a high rank of clairvoyance would be more suited since at higher levels you get different sights like X-ray etc. God vision seems to fit that bill.
    Now that you say that... wasn't there an eye thingy that allows one to see what normally cannot be seen (Pure Eyes, I think it was called)?

  20. #9120
    Mate, that's noice as fuck! Vagrant's Avatar
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    I don't get why he's a Berserker. I recall no instances of him being insane. If you're trying to use the mentions of his fury in battle as the reason for it, then I don't buy it. Anger is not madness.

    If it's another reason then I can evaluate it better, but for now I just can't get past him being in this class at all.

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