Ah! I meant "Not much stronger than a modern magus of his time" I clearly left off the last part of that sentence. Thanks for pointing it out.
But that still sounds off, I've reworded to "not much stronger than a magus of his time."
Ah! I meant "Not much stronger than a modern magus of his time" I clearly left off the last part of that sentence. Thanks for pointing it out.
But that still sounds off, I've reworded to "not much stronger than a magus of his time."
Last edited by Bird of Hermes; May 19th, 2016 at 02:32 AM.
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For his stats, he fought on the front lines of battle so he's more physically gifted that most, I didn't want him to be as buff as Geronimo because he's known more for fighting that shamanism, as for the NP, you're right with the instantaneous application, I'll go and write that in.
Also ZSB, I wasn't sure about the dog thing so I just left it out to be safe.
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While I adjust Harald, I also thought to post these guy in the interim and see what you guys think. Honestly, this guy is a huge stretch, but u just did it because I wanted to...
Another figure of eschatology! RoydGolden, I noticed that you had a similar sheet, so I copied your class skills but otherwise tried to make it different from "I am Antichrist! I will be the villain of this play!"
... I might have ended up creating the bastard child of Angry Manjew and Kiara, with a bit of SAVIOUR OF FRANCE thrown in...
And then Araya got in there too. Snazzy.
Class: Beast
Name: The First Beast (False)
- Other names: Beast from the Sea, Antichrist, Nicolae Carpathia (False)
- True Name:
Spoiler:
Place of Origin: unknown (legend originated in Greece)
Alignment: Neutral Evil
Parameters:
Strength: E
Agility: E
Endurance: E
Magic: C
Luck: C
Noble Phantasm: EX
Class Skills:
- Counter Hero (C-)
Imposes a Rank Down of all parameters on those with a "heroic" alignment. Does not work against those with Divinity; unreliable against those with Protection of the Faith.- Riding (C)
Some vehicles can be handled with above-average skill.- Monstrous Strength (E)
Due to the nature of his summoning, this Beast does not have access to the form of the Seven-Headed Beast with ten crowns. As such, the strength boost will be extremely weak and will only cause his eyes to turn yellow.
Personal Skills:
- Charisma (E-A+)
Normally, this skill is at E: leadership improves but morale of those following under him rapidly declines. However, when playing the part of the Beast, it increases to A+, where it becomes less of a talent and more of a curse.- Powerless Shell (C-N/A)
The user of the skill is difficult to perceive as a Servant. This skill will cancel upon the first activation of Angra Mainu/666. Spoiler:
Noble Phantasm:
Spoiler:
Lore:
Spoiler:
Personality:
Beast is an individual who despises the status quo. He views the mass of humanity as weak-willed and easily manipulated by those in power who wish to maintain said status quo. He is very much devoted to the concept of destroying the current order; what makes him different than somebody like Spartacus, however, is that he views himself as fit to dictate how the new world should be. If a chance to gain power political or societal power presents himself, he will take it without fail. His wish to the Grail would be the destruction of all forms of the Abrahamic religions, both out of his role as the Beast and as a personal vendetta that will only grow stronger if he recalls his true identity.
Miscellaneous:
Likes: himself, those who challenge conventional morality, those who make change in the world.
Dislikes: authority figures (except himself), the dumb masses
Talents: public speaking
Natural Enemy: any individual with Divinity or connections to the divine
Notes:When summoned into this world, he will claim that his true name has been forgotten; as such, the first thing that he will do will be to research himself in order to find a name. However, if summoned into the modern era with access to the Internet, it is almost a certainty that he will take the pseudonym of Nicolae Carpathia until his True Name is discovered. Since this Wraith taking the role of Beast is actually an entity from the future, such a thing will be extremely difficult to discover.
Well, that's certainly a different take on the Beast from mine. Your take is more a tragic villain, whereas mine was one who rejoiced in his own evil, even knowing his fate was to defeated by a 'hero'. He seems like he'd be a very interesting Servant to summon in a Grail War. I like the idea behind Angra Mainyu/666. It's a cool NP for him that isn't just literally giving the Beast or the Mark as I did. Against 'Lawful Good' foes it sounds like it'd be actually quite powerful, since they basically can't get close to him without suffering the drawbacks. Though of course, he'd be still vulnerable to projectiles and such.
Finally, I got a kick of the Nicolae Carpathia namedrop.
I'm guessing it would be too much of a stretch to say Mary Poppins would be eligible as a Heroic Spirit?
Considering the book of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde was only publish 50 years before hers were.
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To Bird of Hermes: Mary Poppins probably isn't eligible... but who cares, she'd be a fun Servant, so make her. Would she be a fake Servant ala Sasaki or a real Servant ala everybody else?
To AsGryffynn: Yep, that is one horribly overwanked Servant right there. I'm not going to say anything else about it.
Also, for anybody who cares, I'll be posting a new Servant sometimes within the near future. They're a Saber and I have mentioned them before.
Last edited by Crying; May 20th, 2016 at 08:47 AM.
You know the strangest thing? I feel the overpowered thing isn't even stat wise, but rather because of his personal skills. I take those apart and drop his MR one rank down (I can't drop the riding, otherwise he wouldn't be able to be summoned as a Rider and he is a Rider servant or at least able to be summoned as one), I'd literally have another Saberface... Minus the Saberface...
I literally didn't give him anything I hadn't seen before. The only thing that might make him overpowered is having a Excalibur clone and a WFD clone that he can use at the same time.
That said, don't ask for stat downgrades. Those are not going to happen. He's the Saber standard for heroes from the early Middle Ages...
El Cid:
-first off, Artoria Pendragon lived around 500 AD, while El Cid was from 1000 AD. And the Age of Gods on the European Mainland ended around 1 AD. Did you get your dates mixed up?
-waaaaaaaaay too many personal skills. Cu Chulainn had... Five with great synergy, and that was considered a lot (and explained why it took half a day for Gilgamesh to get him to kick it). The Bird of Hermes proposed in the blog post in his sig that we keep five as the upper limit for personal skills; that's what I've been doing.
Will add more; just wanted to address some obvious stuff.
I'm using Caster Cu's interlude in FGO as a source (not translated yet. Mewarmo has a post about it here.
Admittedly, the Age of Gods ended in different places with different religions, but I don't really see it taking 1000 extra years on the Iberian Peninsula.
I'm pretty sure Arthuria lived some 5 or 6 centuries BEFORE El Cid...
And apparently, the Age of Gods was pretty much over in the Roman Empire at 60 CE.
Last edited by Zork Knight; May 20th, 2016 at 09:14 AM.
Depends. We know that the Irish gods died rather early on (around Cu's time) but if the age ended with the death of a local pantheon, I am using it to refer to the bigger picture. The last god died when it was officially the age of man. The age of man seems to have arrived after the middle ages. Since the age that arrives after the middle ages is the age of discovery, I thought it fit there. It also ties in neatly with the Papal Schism starting nearly 30 years after El Cid's death...
- - - Updated - - -
I don't see anything wrong with that stat wise. Jeanne d'Arc is 350 years younger and has similar stats...
- - - Updated - - -
Wait, so when did the damned age ended worldwide?
You weren't lying that El Cid was gonna be OP as all hell. Anyways, time for serious feedback.
1). Too many personal skills. I have a rule of no more than 5. I'd ditch the firearm squad skill as you could just say it's archer exclusive and I'd ditch pioneer of the stars as his whole thing is "ending the age of gods which is what you have godslayer for. Maybe create an original skill call 'Great Saviour' as a cheat skill that has charisma and golden rule of the same rank and keep military tactics at B (as you posted it twice).
2). Way too many EX's. When I made Parashursma, who frequently beat up gods and trained Karna. So yeah, he's stronger than Karna, I only gave him 2 EX's. Do I would recommend dropping them to B or A. With Godslayer, Scathach does it as a hobby in a daily basis and only has it at B so I would say to have that.
3). The Second Sword, I'd say it's in the same level of fame as Caliburn which is rank B so maybe B+.
Niw the critique is over now for the good stuff. I absolutely adore the time and effort put into his personality and lore. It shows you really care about the character. I've also noticed you put Zeus as a natural enemy (who I made as a shielder) How do you think would happen in a Grail War if the two were both summoned either by fighting or talking?
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Last edited by Zork Knight; May 20th, 2016 at 09:25 AM.
Technically, the Age of Gods ended not with the death of the Gods, but with the Gods losing their Authority over the world. Say Arceuied lost the ability to Marble Phantasm; that's a rough description of what happened to the Gods. They're still around, however; just not doing stuff like throwing thunderbolts or parting the Sea of Reeds or incarnating into human form and kicking demon ass. The AoG-AoM transition more refers to the laws of physics taking precedence over Divine Privilege. As Zork Knight posted, Odin is still alive despite not having that many worshippers left (does he appear in Fragments?)
You know how I said I'd be posting a Saber some time in the future? Turns out that time is now.
Like, not even a full hour after I said it. Jesus.
I feel it's rather flawed, but I'm fond of the sheet. I feel like I might have overwanked him a bit, which I try not to do. there's also the fact that the sword which makes him a Saber class isn't even an NP, but Nero did that as well so...
Anyway, without further ado:
Class: Saber
Alternate Classes: Rider, Berserker, Ruler
Master:
True Name: Baldwin IV, the Leper King
Sex: Male
Height/Weight: 173cm/65kg
Alignment: Lawful Good
Appearance
Stats
Skills
Equipment
Noble Phantasms
Last edited by Crying; May 25th, 2016 at 07:29 AM.
Finally someone with valid complaints...
1. If I had to ditch one, I'd ditch God Slayer and one of the military skills, since they are vestigial as a Saber. Pioneer of the Stars still works since El Cid was the last big shot from Spain before it somehow became a Superpower and ever since then, the world's center of power has been in Europe or in it's colonies (America), so it can still fit in. After all, he's one of the few heroes I can think of that united Spaniards and Moors to create his own fiefdom where both were equals...
2. God slayer will most likely go altogether if there were still gods around afterwards, since the whole point was that his life coincided with a Gotterdammerung scenario were the last remaining gods all died before he did. If Poseidon and Odin are still around, then that will have no use to him or me.
3. Rank B to B+ then (I will use a coin for this one since I have no idea which to use).
As for the character, I will confess he already existed as the same character in an original fiction story I am writing. I already had the time to flesh him out for the most part. As I hinted at before, he's a Seto Kaiba with dashes of Rin and Suzaku Kururugi. As for the question, they'd probably avoid each other like the plague. El Cid wants nothing to do with Zeus (he destroyed Olympus once) and Zeus refuses to even acknowledge him (since he's one of the few mortals he can't curse, smite or burn to a crisp).
On the other side, the moment he heard Boudica or Goldilocks was in the grail war he'd probably go on a rally to mow them down in the most brutal way possible. Nii sama hates bullies and can't stand onee sama...
1. Means jack to their stats...
2. El Cid is someone all Spaniards and many Americans know, so his fame's on par with Jeanne d'Arc and King Arthur. Also, is the Ruler claim a thing?
And if what you claim is true, then technically the age of the gods was never over. It simply lost it's prominence, but since no one seems to know, I might just have to scrap that part altogether.