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Thread: Create-A-Servant 2

  1. #3201
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Daneel Rush View Post
    It feels really weird to say this, but it looks too much like my own version of Sargon for me to be able to like this. The NPs are interesting, or at least as interesting as such straightforward weapons can be. However, you didn't really justify Sargon carrying around Ninurta's legendary weapon, and the second NP could really use a more interesting name than "Enlil". It was boring when I did it, it's still boring now.
    Now that you mention it, almost every Sargon sheet I've ever seen has included an NP named 'Enlil'.

  2. #3202
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    In case anyone cares, I went back and edited my Servant masterpost to include personal favorites highlighted in green. Mostly my favorites are either the ones with the most interesting concepts behind them (such as Library of Alexandria or the Nameless Crusader), or just ones that I regard as particularly well-written or characterized (like Vercingetorix or Arthur Harris). I've had a select handful of Servants I regarded as a cut above the rest pretty much since I've been writing them, but only now decided to formalize it.

    Curious to see if my own favorites line up with anybody else's, or for that matter, whether others here have personal favorites amongst their created Servants.

  3. #3203
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors Bird of Hermes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RoydGolden View Post
    Sargon: Pretty interesting all-in-all. I've seen this guy done a few times before but you managed go for your own take which is different to those I've found before. I like how you managed to work in the latest Babylon lore. Him being a 'counterpart' to Gilgamesh is interesting, though we already sort of have that in canon with Enkidu. I don't imagine Gil would be so keen on this mongrel walking around proclaiming himself to be the rival of the King of Heroes (especially since his ego oughta' be sore after the guy basically wrecked his city).

    The NPs are creatively done and well thought-out, but the wording seems kind of awkward in places (almost as if you rushed to get it out) and I think it could use a second going-over to make things more imminently readable. Also, there's a typo in his first Skill description where 'and grants' is written out twice. Other then that, a pretty good sheet.

    Lastly, I quite liked the exotic sci-fi/fantasy flavor you gave his NPs. The mix of futuristic and magical elements along with the crystalline motif in his spear reminds me a bit of the latest Final Fantasy games actually (as the infinity+1 ultimate weapon or what have you). Given that series pretty much pioneered the 'epic fantasy RPG', you can take that as a compliment.
    Yeah, I had a massive cold when this guy was written so I expected a few slip ups. I fixed the 'and grants' error and the science-fantasy design was partially inspired by Final Fantasy and also a certain Hun.

    I'll go back at a later date to make a few tweaks

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by Daneel Rush View Post
    It feels really weird to say this, but it looks too much like my own version of Sargon for me to be able to like this. The NPs are interesting, or at least as interesting as such straightforward weapons can be. However, you didn't really justify Sargon carrying around Ninurta's legendary weapon, and the second NP could really use a more interesting name than "Enlil". It was boring when I did it, it's still boring now.
    Thats fair, I've added an extra sentence to justify the wielding of the weapon (I picked it in the first place instead of making something up as I wanted to use something authentic). And made a slight change to the second NP's name - it isn't much but with Enuma Elish named after the creation myth I wanted to name it after the forces of chaos and destruction.

    If you or anyone has any suggestions I'll gladly listen.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by RoydGolden View Post
    First, I'm glad you like it. And you're right in that the description is quite long-winded. Any ideas on how to compress it down a bit?
    One short introductory paragraph (keep the one you have).

    One concise section on the concept as you stretched it out quite a bit - cut out what you don't think is necessary. Then follow through with the same on the effect, perhaps two if you can't/won't cut out much.

  4. #3204
    It's All Good! 4score7years's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RoydGolden View Post
    In case anyone cares, I went back and edited my Servant masterpost to include personal favorites listed in green. Mostly my favorites are either the ones with the most interesting concepts behind them (such as Library of Alexandria or the Nameless Crusader), or just ones that I regard as particularly well-written or characterized (like Vercingetorix or Arthur Harris). I've had a select handful of Servants I regarded as a cut above the rest pretty much since I've been writing them, but only now decided to formalize it.

    Curious to see if my own favorites line up with anybody else's, or for that matter, whether others here have personal favorites amongst their created Servants.
    That's interesting. Of yours, I'd say that my favorites are: Kekrops, Patroclus, Marco Polo, Noah, Darwin, the Golem of Prague, Empedocles, and the Hassan of Gunpowder. Of my own, the order in which I like them is the opposite of the order in which they were created.

    Quote Originally Posted by Bird of Hermes View Post
    Yeah, I had a massive cold when this guy was written so I expected a few slip ups.
    I hope you're feeling better now! Being sick sucks.
    Last edited by 4score7years; December 23rd, 2016 at 10:33 AM.

  5. #3205
    Totally not Eldritch WhatShouldNotBe's Avatar
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    @Belisarius

    Royd strikes again....

    this time, he goes after frickin Belisarius. I don't know whether or not to approve.

    @Sargon

    his title should be renamed "fuck you Gilgamesh".

  6. #3206
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by WhatShouldNotBe View Post
    @Belisarius

    Royd strikes again....

    this time, he goes after frickin Belisarius. I don't know whether or not to approve.
    Pretty much the moment I got the idea of Belisarius' character, I got the idea that a genderbend would fit perfectly. Don't ask me...

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by Bird of Hermes View Post
    Yeah, I had a massive cold when this guy was written so I expected a few slip ups.
    Wow, it's pretty dang impressive that you managed to write up all that while sick. Don't push yourself too far, Hermes!


    Quote Originally Posted by Bird of Hermes View Post
    One short introductory paragraph (keep the one you have).

    One concise section on the concept as you stretched it out quite a bit - cut out what you don't think is necessary. Then follow through with the same on the effect, perhaps two if you can't/won't cut out much.
    Thanks for the advice. I'll think of how I can boil it down. Since I do tend to have trouble conveying NP effects without fairly long and elaborate paragraphs and in this case the effect itself was quite complex, so I felt the need to go into greater detail then normal. It could definitely use a trimming though.

  7. #3207
    Totally not Eldritch WhatShouldNotBe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RoydGolden View Post
    Pretty much the moment I got the idea of Belisarius' character, I got the idea that a genderbend would fit perfectly. Don't ask me...

    - - - Updated - - -



    Wow, it's pretty dang impressive that you managed to write up all that while sick. Don't push yourself too far, Hermes!




    Thanks for the advice. I'll think of how I can boil it down. Since I do tend to have trouble conveying NP effects without fairly long and elaborate paragraphs and in this case the effect itself was quite complex, so I felt the need to go into greater detail then normal. It could definitely use a trimming though.
    God, why not do it on goddamn Sundiata too?

    theres a point where you need to stop and think about your life choices that led you up to this point.

  8. #3208
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Update: So, I did my best to simplify Ultimus Romanorum's description. Trimmed down the wording, greatly simplified the reference to boosting fellow Heroic Spirits (just referred to it in general terms rather then using a specific example) and nixed the section about empowering other (non-NP) objects altogether, since it struck me as mostly unnecessary. It's still long, but hopefully not absurdly so now. Any better?

    Oh and, thanks for the advice Hermes.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by WhatShouldNotBe View Post
    God, why not do it on goddamn Sundiata too?

    theres a point where you need to stop and think about your life choices that led you up to this point.
    ...Maybe I would, if I ever actually did a Sundiata sheet. And I think once you dedicate a good part of your life to posting on a forum for an internet porn game (yes, I know it's a whole lot more then porn, just roll with the joke) you're well beyond the point of stopping and thinking about your life choices.

    Really, I just wanted a badass, yet submissive and morally ambiguous waifu and Belisarius seemed like the best fit. Plus, I haven't done many girls in a while.

    I mean, do you not find the idea of her going all "Sempaiiii!~" for Justinian to be amusing?

  9. #3209
    It's All Good! 4score7years's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RoydGolden View Post
    Update: So, I did my best to simplify Ultimus Romanorum's description. Trimmed down the wording, greatly simplified the reference to boosting fellow Heroic Spirits (just referred to it in general terms rather then using a specific example) and nixed the section about empowering other (non-NP) objects altogether, since it struck me as mostly unnecessary. It's still long, but hopefully not absurdly so now. Any better?
    I think it's a bit better, yes. I actually did like the stuff about the non-NP objects, but oh well. I suppose it was kinda unnecessary.

  10. #3210
    Totally not Eldritch WhatShouldNotBe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RoydGolden View Post
    Update: So, I did my best to simplify Ultimus Romanorum's description. Trimmed down the wording, greatly simplified the reference to boosting fellow Heroic Spirits (just referred to it in general terms rather then using a specific example) and nixed the section about empowering other (non-NP) objects altogether, since it struck me as mostly unnecessary. It's still long, but hopefully not absurdly so now. Any better?

    Oh and, thanks for the advice Hermes.

    - - - Updated - - -



    ...Maybe I would, if I ever actually did a Sundiata sheet. And I think once you dedicate a good part of your life to posting on a forum for an internet porn game (yes, I know it's a whole lot more then porn, just roll with the joke) you're well beyond the point of stopping and thinking about your life choices.

    Really, I just wanted a badass, yet submissive and morally ambiguous waifu and Belisarius seemed like the best fit. Plus, I haven't done many girls in a while.

    I mean, do you not find the idea of her going all "Sempaiiii!~" for Justinian to be amusing?
    Ah.

    well, it is mildly amusing until you start realizing that she's likely to be yandere.

    i hate Yanderes.....

    Plus, Belisarius? Submissive?

    well, can't say that Nasu hasn't done worse.....

  11. #3211
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by WhatShouldNotBe View Post
    Ah.

    well, it is mildly amusing until you start realizing that she's likely to be yandere.

    i hate Yanderes.....

    Plus, Belisarius? Submissive?

    well, can't say that Nasu hasn't done worse.....
    Only submissive to Justinian, mind you. And I did mention how she'd sometimes disobey commands under Independent Action.

    But yeah, she could easily end up a yandere. Especially since, on some accounts, Theodora was one of Justinian's main influences in starting to distrust Belisarius...

    - - - Updated - - -

    Draconic: Why is the text so freaking dark? It is almost impossible to read as is.

    - - - Updated - - -

    ...And now it's gone altogether. I could've sworn that Draconic posted up a sheet just now...

  12. #3212
    Totally not Eldritch WhatShouldNotBe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RoydGolden View Post
    Only submissive to Justinian, mind you. And I did mention how she'd sometimes disobey commands under Independent Action.

    But yeah, she could easily end up a yandere. Especially since, on some accounts, Theodora was one of Justinian's main influences in starting to distrust Belisarius...

    - - - Updated - - -

    Draconic: Why is the text so freaking dark? It is almost impossible to read as is.

    - - - Updated - - -

    ...And now it's gone altogether. I could've sworn that Draconic posted up a sheet just now...
    Tbh, a hot chick who Obsesses over your husband and calls him Sempai would make anyone try to make their husband distrust them.

  13. #3213
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by WhatShouldNotBe View Post
    Tbh, a hot chick who Obsesses over your husband and calls him Sempai would make anyone try to make their husband distrust them.
    ...Fair enough LOL. That'd definitely rather alter the nature of their historical relationship...

    And I'm still wondering just what happened with that mysteriously disappearing Draconic sheet. Did anybody else notice that?

    - - - Updated - - -

    Hmm... Now that I've done Belisarius, part of me wants to follow up with Justinian too. Not a normal one, though. A Justinian Saver Alter who's been specifically summoned by Belisarius as her wish and been twisted by her perceptions of what an 'ideal, god-like ruler' should be. Anybody think this sounds like a cool idea?

  14. #3214
    It's All Good! 4score7years's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RoydGolden View Post
    I'm still wondering just what happened with that mysteriously disappearing Draconic sheet. Did anybody else notice that?

    Hmm... Now that I've done Belisarius, part of me wants to follow up with Justinian too. Not a normal one, though. A Justinian Saver Alter who's been specifically summoned by Belisarius as her wish and been twisted by her perceptions of what an 'ideal, god-like ruler' should be. Anybody think this sounds like a cool idea?
    Must have missed it. But yeah, that seems cool. Do we know what the Saver class skills are/do?

  15. #3215
    鬼 Ogre-like You's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 4score7years View Post
    Do we know what the Saver class skills are/do?
    yes those a p clear
    unlike avenger
    damn narita
    Quote Originally Posted by FSF 5, Chapter 14: Gold and Lions I
    Dumas flashed a fearless grin at Flat and Jack as he rattled off odd turns of phrase.
    "And most importantly, it's me who'll be doing the cooking."
    Though abandoned, forgotten, and scorned as out-of-date dolls, they continue to carry out their mission, unchanged from the time they were designed.
    Machines do not lose their worth when a newer model appears.
    Their worth (life) ends when humans can no longer bear that purity.


  16. #3216
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 4score7years View Post
    Must have missed it. But yeah, that seems cool. Do we know what the Saver class skills are/do?
    Charisma and Counter Hero, I'm pretty sure.

  17. #3217
    Designated Reptile Draconic's Avatar
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    Servant Shielder:

    Appearance:

    Credit for image goes to Nintendo/Intelligent Systems, Takashi Takeuchi(?) for the designs on the
    shield, and myself for the disgustingly crude Photoshop work.


    Identity: Sir Galahad

    Alignment: Lawful Good

    Alternate Classes: Lancer

    Gender: Male
    Birthday: Unknown
    Height: 196cm
    Weight: 81kg
    Blood type: Unknown
    Place of Origin: Europe
    Weapons: Shield (Lord Camelot), Spear
    Likes: Arturia, the Knights of the Round Table, his father, helping others, good deeds, performing good deeds, bowling & lawn bowling,
    building things (whether that means a birdhouse, or a rain shelter).
    Dislikes: Evil, cruelty, injustice, apathy.
    Talents: Being a Hero of Justice, carpentry, saving lives, sprinting, survival in harsh conditions, cooking over a fire,
    failing to see the impression he makes, making flabbergastingly good meals from wild animals and foraged fruits/vegetables.
    Natural enemy: Olga Marie's father, any who would let harm come to another for selfish purposes.

    Appearance (Description): Shielder wears immaculate silver armor, and a very large shield which he wields with astonishing proficiency. He carries a sword, but typically wields a spear in his off hand. He has graying light brown hair, though his mustache seems mostly unchanged. Though his facial features can make him appear stern, he tends to display a gentle disposition.

    Personality:
    A kind man, capable of withstanding anything to help his allies. he is more than ready to lay down his life for a cause he believes in, but is the kind of man who would survive against impossible odds over and over again to fulfill his obligations. If he were to be confronted by another Knight of the Round Table during a Grail War, he would immediately attempt to broker a truce between their Masters. This naturally includes Arturia and even Mordred. However even if a deal couldn't be struck, he would nevertheless find a way to aid his former companions without inconveniencing his Master. He is truly a model Hero of Justice. A model Hero of Anything really.

    His wish is to give his father, Sir Lancelot, the opportunity to atone for his sins before his death even if the legends never record it.

    Bio: Galahad was a later addition to the Round Table, especially famed for his escapades in the search of the Holy Grail. He was a "saint who was the only one to obtain the Holy Grail, just to return it to the heavens."

    This incarnation of Galahad lived much longer than the Galahad that a certain Saber class Servant knew. In her lifetime, Galahad died as a young man.
    This Galahad, as is obvious by his appearance, greatly outlived King Arthur. However, his loyalty to his king and country never faltered, even after both fell.

    Strong in body, and stronger still in mind, he persevered. Even in the wake of Mordred's betrayal, the fall of Camelot and Arturia's death, he simply decided that he would find the Holy Grail, for which his fellow Knights had searched for so long. In so doing, he could still save his kingdom and the countless people who had lost their lives at Camlann.

    And so Galahad traveled to every corner of the country and back in his search. He saw the people of Britain rebuilding their lives and homes after the wars. Early on in his quest he reunited with Sir Bors and Sir Percival and they joined his endeavor. Wherever they went, they were hailed as heroes, the last surviving Knights of the Round Table, and as such were looked upon with both awe for their status, and pity for their losses.

    However, over the course of his journeys throughout Britain, many years passed. Decades in fact. For a time, Bors and Percival abandoned the mission as a fool's errand, but even after more than thirty years of tireless searching, Galahad never faltered, and in the end, he retrieved his companions and achieved that which the Knights had sought for so long.

    At long last, the Knights of the Round Table had found the Holy Grail, even if they were the only ones left, to their knowledge.

    He was more than ready to resurrect Camelot and Arthur Pendragon, restoring his home, his family and his comrades.

    He imagined a world in which Arturia was able to save her people, and truly lead them as well, a world in which she was allowed to understand her subjects as people.
    A world where Mordred would be able to succeed his father, who would feel secure that she had done everything to prepare him for true kingship.
    A world in which his father had the opportunity to atone for his sins.
    A world where the people of Britain could prosper…

    …except…they already were…

    It had been over thirty years. Galahad had seen for himself that the people of Britain had built new lives for themselves. They had moved on, as had Bors and Percival, even if he hadn't. They all remembered Camelot and King Arthur, but that was all those things were anymore: Memories. Everyone else had spent thirty years rebuilding, and if he made this wish, he would be depreciating and invalidating everything that they had worked so hard to achieve. He was faced with the cruel decision between the people of his country and regaining everything he cared about.

    And yet, without doubting himself for a moment, he returned the Holy Grail to Heaven.

    Galahad never moved on from his identity as a Knight of the Round Table and spent the rest of his days travelling Britain, coming to the aid of those who needed it. How he died remains a mystery, but if he didn't pass on from old age, he no doubt gave his life to save another.


    Stats

    Strength: C
    Endurance: A++
    Agility: C
    Magic: B
    Luck: B
    Noble Phantasm: EX


    Class Skills:

    Magic Resistance: (A)
    Cancel spells with a chant below three verses. Even if targeted by High-Thaumaturgy and Greater Rituals, it is difficult for them to be affected.

    Riding: (C)
    One can flawlessly ride animals and vehicles that received a proper training and adjustment.


    Personal Skills:

    Guardian Knight: (A)
    Temporarily increases Strength and Endurance by one rank when protecting others.

    Bravery: (A+)
    Ability to negate mental interference such as pressure, confusion and fascination. Bonus effect of increasing melee damage.

    Mana Defense: (A+)
    A Skill of the same type as Mana Burst: Magical power is translated directly into defensive power. For a Heroic Spirit possessing a huge magical power, it would probably become a sacred wall that protects a whole country.


    Noble Phantasms:

    Castle of the Distant Utopia
    Lord Camelot
    (A)
    Type: Support/Anti-Evil

    A shield made from the Round Table itself. It is a form of "ultimate protection" employing the Round Table, "where the Knights of the Round Table sat at the center of the Castle of White Walls, Camelot", in the form of a shield. Its strength is proportionate to the will power of the user, and it is said that "so long the heart doesn't break, those castle walls too shall never crumble." When deployed, it projects an impenetrable barrier that protects him and his allies, (or anyone within a fairly large radius behind him).


    Towering Force of Will
    Lord Camelot
    (E-EX)
    Type: Support/Anti-Unit
    Maximum Targets: 1

    A manifestation of Galahad's indomitable will and dedication, he and his shield temporarily become a single immovable object. His shield can generate a barrier while doing this. While he is in this state, he can block anything, becoming the perfect shield. Literally nothing can penetrate this defense. If one were to drop the moon itself on top of him while he was in this state, depending on his mana reserves, he might come away from the event feeling slightly dazed. This technique's main weakness is that it only lasts for a few moments, therefore requiring somewhat precise timing, and it takes several minutes before he can use it again.

    This ability can take another form if activated while Galahad is in motion: Instead of becoming an immovable object, he becomes an unstoppable force. Put simply, this allows him to hit extremely hard. However, this ability only extends to his body and his shield, not his spear or sword. In fact, this Noble Phantasm cannot enhance any tool designed for the purpose of harming others. Thus, he's limited to using blunt force.

    While he would be fully capable of deflecting the moon, he could not knock it back into space. He could make a large beached whale fly, though. Sadly, hitting it in such a manner would likely kill it, or any non-magical entity, and thus he will only use this attack on other heroic spirits, or phantasmal beasts. The poor whale! How dare you even suggest such madness!


    Culmination of Arthur's Quest
    Sangreal–The Holy Grail
    (EX)
    Type: Support

    Galahad was the only Knight of the Round Table to find the Holy Grail once and for all.

    As such, he has the ability to bring forth the true Holy Grail itself; the ultimate wish granter, capable of reshaping the world to one's liking, and of defying restrictions set by The World, and Akasha. This, of course, begs the question; why would he not simply use this Noble Phantasm instead of fighting a needless battle?

    Two reasons: The first is that invoking the Grail comes at the cost of either his own, or his Master's life, though he would never sacrifice his Master unless forced by that very Master's command seal. Upon summoning it, he will die within minutes, without exception. The second reason is that he is not actually capable of touching the Grail himself, and he still has a wish of his own.

    There is also a highly dangerous drawback to this Noble Phantasm: It activates automatically if he is dealt a fatal wound, and Galahad cannot choose who receives the Grail's blessing. Though he chooses where it manifests (anywhere within his line of sight), the person who gets their wish granted is the first person to touch it. Should someone other than s/he whom he intends to bequeath a wish touch the Holy Grail first, a person with malevolent intentions could have the powers of God at their fingertips and Galahad would be helpless to stop them.



    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


    So, here I am with my second Servant sheet. Remember when I said I was doing this, RoydGolden? I didn't forget. In fact it's been mostly finished for ages now, and I got really lazy.

    So, I've both moved over to a different timeline in the Nasuverse, and also changed several aspects of the original legend to suit my purposes, most notably that the search for the Holy Grail ultimately takes place after Camlann, thus ensuring Arturia never learns of the quest's completion, and furthermore, takes Galahad more than three decades. Furthermore, Galahad does not make a wish using the Grail, choosing to simply live out the rest of his life instead of choosing his time of death and ascending to heaven when visited by Joseph of Arimathea.

    In the Nasuverse, at least during Saber's timeline, it seems likely that Galahad died on his quest for the Grail, still a boy and completely unprepared for the trials he would face. (or at least, that is the story as Arturia understands it) Oh, right, and current fan theory suggests that he probably didn't have brown hair due to this unknown knight with a vaguely similar appearance to Mashu in Tristan's Stage 4 art.























    Galahad(?) and the back of Tristan's head. Galahad saving Mashu in Fate/Grand Order - First Order

    Correct me if I'm wrong, but if nothing's confirmed, in the first case. I'll wait until more info is released about the guy, and correct it then.
    Last edited by Draconic; January 3rd, 2017 at 02:29 PM.
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    Admittedly, she'd probably be the hottest loan shark you'll ever meet. She'd probably make you smile as she sucked you dry.


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    Not with that attitude.

  18. #3218
    Totally not Eldritch WhatShouldNotBe's Avatar
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    @Galahad

    thanks, now I'm imagining Galahad as Mashu's Cool Stepdad whose greatest unwritten talent is cockblocking.

  19. #3219
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    That's a pretty cool Galahad sheet, Draconic! He's certainly a very powerful defensive Servant, basically an even better version of St. George. His second NP in particular is pretty ridiculous, but in a fun way and it has enough limitations to keep from being too overpowered. I may not be the best judge on such things, however. (Just know that him blocking a giant meteorite or what have you sounds really flipping cool)

    I liked how you interpreted his legend to fit the Grail hunt into Nasu's lore. Now that I think about it, rather strange how a series centered around a battle the Holy Grail with a variant of King Arthur as a central heroine doesn't (as far as I know) mention anything about the Grail itself or the hunt for it in Saber's backstory. Or indeed that Saber herself might have personal interest in claiming the artifact she spent a ton of blood, sweat and tears hunting for in her life. (Beyond just as a means to undo her past regrets of kingship)

    One small critique I can give is that you seem to have gotten the Class Skills for Shielder confused. Pretty sure Mana Defense (or however that's translated) is a Class ability, so Bravery should really become a Personal one to match. I've never seen Bravery depicted as a Class Skill for Shielders.

    Oh and, the image link you've provided doesn't seem to work properly. Also, 'hero of justice' is listed twice amongst his Talents, though I don't know if that's on purpose or not.

  20. #3220
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Oh and by the way... I have an avatar now!! *squee*

    What can I say, my reticence for learning new tech things was overcome by my fanboyish love for Flip Flappers.

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