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Thread: Create-A-Servant 2

  1. #8481
    please talk to me about your OCs Saron's Avatar
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    Source: (X)

    Name; Madoc ap Uthyr
    Titles; Madawg, Firstborn of Uther
    Class; Saber/Berserker
    Armament: Sword
    Alignment; Chaotic Neutral
    Attribute: Human
    Traits: Human, Dragon, Prince, Saberface

    Stats:
    Strength: B
    Agility: A
    Endurance: C
    Mana: B
    Luck: C
    Noble Phantasm: B

    Likes: His family, fair combat
    Dislikes: Wizards, clairvoyance
    Talents: Any form of combat
    Natural Enemy: Merlin
    Wish: To take his sister’s place

    Skills
    Class Skills:
    Magic Resistance: B
    The ability to cancel and reduce the effects of magic. Magecraft with an aria of three verses or less are negated and it is difficult to injure him even with high-thaumaturgy. As a prototype of testing the dragon aspect that would later give his sister so much power, he holds high Magic Resistance worthy of a Pendragon.

    Riding: B
    The ability to use vehicles and animals as mounts. Can ride any modern day vehicle with above average control, but Magical Beasts and Phantasmal Beasts are out of his grasp.

    Personal Skills:
    Prana Burst: C-
    The ability to increase one's physical performance by infusing one's weapons and body with prana and rapidly expelling it. Simply put, replicating the power of a jet engine through the rapid expulsion of prana. Utilizing this ability causes burning pain throughout his body, as the dragon blood within him is imperfect.

    Knight of the Golden Dragon: A
    A skill representing one who was knighted by Uther Pendragon, and a knight of the Order of the Golden Dragon, a prototype of sorts for the Round Table used by Arthur. If engaged in a fair and chivalrous fight, Saber gains bonuses to his Luck and Strength.

    Blood Stained Demon: B
    A skill representing one who fought with such brutality and endurance, they ended up soaked in so much blood it's impossible to tell what is their own blood and their enemies. Saber holds a high rank, as he often finished his fights soaked in so much blood that combined with the fires lit by his soldiers, he often looked like a monster straight from the bowels of hell itself.


    Noble Phantasm
    Madawg
    Nothing But a Mad Dog

    B
    Anti-Unit (Self)
    Range: 1
    Max Targets: 1

    Through his career as a knight of Uther Pendragon, he grew into suffering battle rages so high he became mentally incapable of registering friend and foe and feeling fear or pain. This ferocity allowed him unparalleled power against the Saxons hordes.

    By calling out his title, he can essentially turn himself into a Pseudo Berserker for half an hour, gaining Battle Continuation at B rank, and two rank ups to his Strength and Endurance at the cost of losing all rational thought and suffering massive losses to his defense. However, he can be brought out of this state if one shows/reminds him of the Golden Dragon.


    Lore
    Saber is Madoc ap Uthyr, elder son of Uther Pendragon and sibling to Artoria Pendragon and Morgan Le Fay, he was fated to be King of Britain, supposedly. Most of his legend is lost, but his feats still stand, such as his ruthless defense of Britain against Saxons.

    Merlin, knowing upon looking at his infant face, knew this was not the Once and Future King of Britain fated to appear, but his friend was so overjoyed at the birth of son he decided it would be best to act like it. Merlin even went to the length of infusing Madoc with the aspect of dragon, but as he wasn’t strong enough magically it settled imperfectly, giving him a weakened Spiritual Core that caused pain during use.

    However, Uther and even Madoc wouldn’t be so easily fooled. Both of them knew from his young age that he was not fit to be a king, his great anger better fitting a berserker on the battlefield. When he was of age, he took the name “Madawg” to hide his identity and he was knighted by his father. With a battalion of archers, he ruthlessly fought against the hordes of Vortigern and Saxon invaders. As he was easily the strength of ten, possibly fifty men, he had a battalion of Archers fire arrows to give him a tactical and combat edge, such as burning arrows into tall grass to cause a smokescreen and to funnel his opponents towards him. His ferocity and battle rage was so infamous even among his own troops, that he was called a “mad dog”.

    With Fate stacked against him, it was only a matter of time before the need for a heir would become apparent again. This time came when during a massive conflict, Madawg was struck down as he killed the Saxon berserker known as Erof, his axe being gored into his side as Madawg took Erof's head, dying of blood loss andd disease in only several days, his son Eliwlod unknowingly being born hours after his passing. Less than four years later, his younger sister Morgan was born, Artoria following a year after that.


    Personality
    A loyal knight to the end, he surprisingly is a massive lover of peace and prefers finding nonviolent solutions to situations. Unfortunately, his hot blood and often violent temper prevent him from being an effective mediator or peace keeper.

    By default, he is a warrior, nothing more and nothing less. He couldn't be happier standing among the corpses of his enemies with more on their way to witness his blade's onslaught. He knows he would be a terrible king, and is a terrible knight for fighting that way. However, he finds Merlin's teachings and advice given to his baby sister unacceptable.

    "A king shouldn't be someone who's reached heaven, it should be someone who wants heaven just as much as their people and thinks they have a way to get them there. They should laugh as loud as they want, cry as much as they want, love and hate with their entire hearts. They...they have to be so human it hurts."

    Plus, he never quite forgave Merlin for lying to him and his father. The truth is what he values above all, and having his trust betrayed from practically birth has left him with a resentment for the half-demon.

    However, instead of trying to get vengeance, he wants to live that lie to spite Merlin. He wished for reincarnation and the crown of Britain to be atop his head, and lead them to such an unimaginable glory that Merlin would be forced to say that Madoc is fit for kingship.

    He's a major, major foodoholic. No one is sure exactly how he stacks up to his other family member's appetites, but he's definitely up there in terms of his preferred quality and quantity.
    Relationships
    Artoria Pendragon
    "Ah, the King of Britain has decided to grace a lowly knight with her presence! Now, we have quite alot to catch up on, don't we Little Sister?"

    He's somewhat of a mix to "sibling rivalry" and "mother bear" to her. As she looks young, he instinctively wants to protect her, until he sees her fight. In that moment, he transforms into her unofficial assistant, ensuring she and her equipment are in top condition at all times.

    Still doesn't mean he won't fill her gauntlets with whipped cream if he feels like it.

    Artoria Pendragon (Lily)
    "Nee-san is soooo...CUTE! Gah I could just squeeze you until you pop!"

    He becomes the ultimate big brother trope in the world. She so much as sneezes he's there with a tissue and a back breaking hug. Him and Medea made an immediate alliance to give her the cutest outfits imaginable, much to her behest.

    "Isn't this a little too...frilly for a knight?"
    "Nonsense! You look like a perfect adorable little knight who's going to kick so much ass!"


    Merlin
    "Tell me you bastard, how does it feel to have been locked up where only sinners belong? Horrifying? Eye-opening to the fact that you're a heartless monster who thrust kingship on a child purely for entertainment? Good, because it's half of what you deserve."

    Bitter, all consuming rage whenever he sees him. Keep these two out of each other's eyesight at all costs, much less you want to scrub their blood off the floor and walls.

    Mordred
    "My niece is here? Well I must go see her! She should know she isn't the only one in the family who loves some good old fashioned warfare!"

    The bromance to end all bromances, these two are borderline conjoined at the hip with sparring, lazing around, or eating. Although, Artoria is a touchy subject.

    "She's the greatest, most adorable little sister in the world! Sure she has her moments, but overall she's the greatest!!"
    "Yeah keep talking asshole! Let's see how long you can chat up Father and run before I shove Clarent up your ass!"


    They always make up though, probably because their Master mentioned going onto the training fields.

    <I>
    Had to do a lot of the lore myself for this guy since he's only mentioned in two poems, but overall a fun sheet. Had to stretch Nasu lore, and I probably got several things wrong. Also was debating doing a genderbend for him, but changed my mind later on.
    Last edited by Saron; December 10th, 2017 at 10:05 PM.
    My thirst for Antonio grows by the second.

    Man...

    I Make Servants, Some Of Which Are Tragedies

  2. #8482

    Class:
    Caster
    Alignment: Lawful Good
    Gender: Male
    Origin: History
    Region: Bavaria / Germany
    Comment: ​I like this thing called "Disney Land".


    Parameters
    Strength: E
    Endurance: D
    Agility: D
    Mana: A(+)
    Luck: B
    Noble Phantasm: B

    Skills
    Class Skills

    Castle Creation (Territory Creation) EX
    This is Caster’s specialized version of Territory Creation. In some aspects it is similar to Assassin’s Hanging Gardens: it requires real materials and time to construct, but will provide stronger effects the more resources are invested.
    Paradoxically, while only Noble Phantasms of Anti-Fortress or above class can breach the castle walls, modern-day explosives easily demolish any structures created with this skill.


    Item Creation (Props) A
    Caster can create any non-magical item with no other property except being of exceptional quality and attention to detail.


    Personal Skills

    Charisma C

    Golden Rule D (originally B)

    Protection of the Fairies B


    Noble Phantasm

    The Fairy Tale King
    Märchenkönig
    Caster does not possess an orthodox Noble Phantasm as true Heroic Spirits do. Rather his Castle Creation skill enables him to construct an environment where his flights of fancy can come true, not a Reality Marble per se, but a powerful self-suggestion manifesting physically, an illusory stage for whatever role he wants to play within the castle walls: heroic dragon slayer, legendary grail king, or a humble Minnesänger.
    Caster's parameters are raised according to his roles and gain additional skills as required (e.g. Mana Burst; Dragon Slayer trait).
    Any theatrical props used in such a performance temporarily are regarded as C rank Noble Phantasms and can even recreate certain effects as long as its based on a heroic feat rather than inherent abilities (e.g. Berserker's Nine Lives vs Excalibur).
    In addition, musical accompaniment that correctly underscores the situation further boosts Caster’s parameters.


    Lore
    "I want to remain an eternal mystery to myself and others."

    During his life and reign King Ludwig II of Bavaria only desired one thing: to return to the age of chivalry, magic and fantasy, to become like the legends he saw on stage and heroes of yore. Faced with reality of being the head of state of Bavaria, Ludwig spend huge amounts of his private means and took up loans to build castles and sponsored artists like Wagner, to create his fantasy world.
    In the end, Ludwig’s refusal of reality led to the refusal of his reign by his subjects who deposed him, declaring him insane and he died in mysterious circumstances in lake Starnberg during a stroll with a psychiatrist.

    Further reading: here and here.


    Creator's Remarks
    Man, the profile got drier the longer I went on. Sorry for the short descriptions, though I wanted to write up a more detailed profile, midway it became a chore rather than fun. Hopefully, I could at least convey 50% of my initial enthusiasm
    Last edited by ylas; December 5th, 2017 at 06:00 AM.

  3. #8483
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors Bird of Hermes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by the god of world-0 View Post

    also, does hermes dont have any opnions on my (killer)rabbit? i thought he was british
    As a Brit, I’m contractually obliged to love monty python and considering the whole thing is basically a walking reference to it - it has my approval

    - - - Updated - - -

    Madoc: As someone who made 4 versions of Uther, I’m obliged to like this too. I would have made his physical parameters no higher than B myself (probably lower too) as in Fake Berserker mode he equals the likes of Herc as Lancelot who he isn’t on the same level as.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by 34 View Post
    Hey, thanks for the feedback.
    About the whole divine beamu Anti-Evil stuff of the Holy Lance, I took it from that one legend where Galahad destroyed a whole castle (Castle of Treachery) via a literal divine cataclysm. But yeah, it kinda feels a little too much. And about the Sangreal, yeah, maybe I should make it more than just [wish granting machine], but I couldn't think of anything that fits his and the grail's legend better than that tbh.
    Idea, keep the Anti-Evil aspect of the lance by tune it down a bit. Make the Grail an ability that heals all allies, removes all debuffs and fully recharges mana at the cost of returning to the Throne of Heroes.

  4. #8484
    wwwww Spartacus's Avatar
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    http://kazemai.github.io/fgo-vz/svtData.html?no=194

    So... back with my Sheba ranting...

    After reading her profile and NP, I feel really-really dumb. I heavily emphasized on her being a riddler and women of mystery, yet I don't make it into a motherfucking NP, which is very obvious if I think about it. Three Enigmas, while the djinn-rabbits feels very shoe horned in, is very straight-forward and fits Sheba because she simply throw physics at them (I don't know if physic here means the subject physic as atomic bomb or physical manifestation of her riddle, probably both. I would love if someone with a real Japanese knowledge correct me), since you know physics at Solomon era is probably as mysterious as Akasha. Compared to my second NP which is out of nowhere and feels like being there for the sake of making a powerful Servants. Though, at least I have similar personality in mind, that she is very business oriented, and I deeply regret it lefting them out on mine.

    But I still stands that her design is very disappointing and even the profile doesn't try to explain anything about why djinn=rabbits.

    ---

    I think Story and Lore is the best thread for it, but I wanted to compare it with mine, so pardon me.
    Last edited by Spartacus; December 5th, 2017 at 01:05 PM.

  5. #8485
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors Bird of Hermes's Avatar
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    Nothing wrong with comparing creations with what ended up being canon. Not as close as You’s Saint Martha but still a few good similarities non the less.

  6. #8486
    アルテミット・ワン Ultimate One asterism42's Avatar
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    "I am your Servant, Lancer. If you swear to be all the good in the world, and to lay out the evil in the world, then I shall gladly follow under your banner, Master"

    Lancer
    Saint Sebastian




    Source

    Alignment: Lawful Good
    STR: C
    END: A+
    AGI: C
    MAG: C
    LUCK: E
    NP: B

    Class Skills

    Magic Resistance (A):
    Grants protection against magical effects. Differing from the Resistance effect that merely rejects Magical Energy, this ability cancels the spells altogether. Cancel spells of A-Rank or below, no matter what High-Thaumaturgy it is. In practice, the Servant is untouchable to modern magi, so it would not be an exaggeration to title the Servant a 'Magus Killer'. Sebastian possesses Magic Resistance on the level of the Saber class, but it cannot cope with the sacraments of the Church

    Personal Skills

    Saint (D):
    Indicates being acknowledged as a saint. When summoned as a Servant, the ability of Saint is selected one among "raising the effectiveness of sacraments", "automatic HP recovery", "1 Rank-Up to Charisma" and "production of a holy shroud is possible". As the patron saint of soldiers, Sebastian receives an automatic rank-up to Luck checks made while he is in combat. The rank of this skill would be considerably higher if he were summoned as a Ruler.

    Robust Health (C+):
    A Skill that are made up of anecdotes of "not receiving a wound on the battlefield" and "never becoming sick even once since birth". It is also a composite Skill and includes Poison Resistance. Sebastian possesses this skill due to the dual anecdotes of him surviving being riddled with arrows and, as a Saint, his name being used to cure and prevent plagues.

    Protection from Arrows (A): The ability to deal with projectiles, an increased defence against ranged attacks by predicting the projectiles' trajectories through exceptional means, such as hearing the sound of air being cut, or sensing the killing intent of the enemy. Sebastian’s version of this skill is abnormal, due to the details of his legend. In addition to the ability to avoid projectiles, he takes massively reduced damage from them if they strike him. In practice, he is functionally immune to any non-Noble Phantasm projectile.

    Praetorian (C): Designates one who served in the Praetorian Guard, the elite corps of the Roman Army and the personal bodyguards of the emperor. Representing as it does a skilled member of one of the most famous military bodies in the world, it bestows the skills Charisma and Military Tactics at the same rank. Sebastian’s Endurance receives a boost when he takes attacks on behalf of another individual.

    Noble Phantasm

    Sagittae Mauritania
    The Life of a Saint Shall not so Readily Fade


    Anti-Unit, B: The legend of Sebastian’s failed first execution, wherein the emperor ordered him to be chained to a tree and riddled with arrows by a squadron of archers. Despite being shot so many times, it is said that he resembled an urchin, Sebastian did not die, and was rescued and nursed back to health. The arrows that failed to kill him have become his armour, a resolute bulwark of faith that will not fail. As a passive effect, this Noble Phantasm allows his skin to resist piercing attacks. When activated however, it causes every inch of his skin to erupt into sharp thorns that extend from his body in several directions, becoming a suit of armour made of arrows. A ‘porcupine strategy’, it is almost certain to skewer anyone within melee range, and those drawing close to Sebastian once the armour is active will suffer persistent, continuous damage. The armour responds to attack, reflecting part of the damage suffered on the aggressor. The site of the arrows of martyrdom also fills everyone around with awe and/or fear; allies become courageous and enemies quail. Due to the legend of him being tied down, Sebastian cannot move while the armour is activated.

    Lore
    Lancer is Saint Sebastian, a third century Christian martyr. A career legionnaire and a captain of the Emperor Diocletian’s Praetorian Guard, Sebastian converted in secret and would work to ferret Christians arrested for their faith out of prison. Eventually exposed, he was ordered to be executed, but survived and publicly berated Diocletian for his treatment of religious minorities. He was arrested and executed a second time, and this one took. During the Renaissance, the image of Sebastian as a handsome, naked man tied to a tree became popular amongst artists.

    Despite the poor relationship he had with his previous master, Lancer is a devoted soldier through and through, and is delighted to protect others with his abilities once more. Aware that Diocletian considered his conversion a personal betrayal, Lancer has sworn to never again cause the one he serves grief. However, his conviction will waver if he is forced to perform actions he considers unjust. Due to the Medieval depictions of him, he has been summoned as a young, incredibly handsome man, though his stern, unsmiling face is more intimidating than charming. Beneath his cold exterior, he feels things deeply, and is hurt whenever people are frightened of him.

    In addition to Lancer, Sebastian can be summoned as Saber, Shielder and Ruler.
    Last edited by asterism42; December 6th, 2017 at 06:22 AM.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sandstorm77 View Post
    He's just putting the bone of his sword into other people until it explodes and lets out parts of him inside them.
    Quote Originally Posted by AvengerEmiya View Post
    Genderswaps are terrible, but I think I and other people would hate them less if Fate didn't keep ignoring actual heroines throughout history and folklore. Like, why bother turning Francis Drake into a woman when Ching Shih and Grace O'Malley exist?
    Quote Originally Posted by Five_X View Post
    Fate Zero is just Fate Stay Night for people who think Shirou is too girly
    Quote Originally Posted by Comun View Post
    I think Alex IV can eat Goku.

  7. #8487
    Knight of 'Sumanai' Iceblade44's Avatar
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    Sebastion: Interesting, I never heard of him but Saints are always interesting. Now the critiques.

    First It's very interesting on how his skill set is very focused around his legend of his martyrdom, very fitting. Tho there are a couple of things that seems odd. Robust health is one, while it has some connections personally it doesn't seem like a perfect fit for his survivability, I'd say Battle Continuation is a better fit. Another would be the Pretorian Guard, interesting skill but comparably I don't think it fits with it's leadership abilities since as a guard I would see it be a little more personal oriented than it would be for a naval captain or military king. The END buff is what I would expect from the description of the skill and it's fitting. The rest of the skills tho seems very good and certainly fits well, especially PoA. Tho as a suggestion I think Georges Soul of a Martyr skill would also fit his line up quite nicely.

    Now for his NP, very interesting and certainly fits with his legend. My one complaint about it would be the offensive mode of it, It honestly feels a little lackluster. It's a very cool concept but I think could have been expressed a little better for it to seem more unique and practical. Otherwise it's a very good sheet, twas an interesting read.
    "Only in my company, will you not be a monster"


    anywhere than here

  8. #8488
    死徒(下級)Lesser Dead Apostle TresserT's Avatar
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    Servant Berserker

    Stats
    Strength: C
    Endurance: A
    Agility: B
    Mana: D
    Luck: E
    Noble Phantasm: EX

    ⭐⭐⭐
    Max Attack: 7000
    Max HP: 8750
    QQ(4) A(2) BB(1) EX(4)
    Weapon: Scythe

    Skills
    Passive Skills
    Mad Enhancement A
    All parameters, barring Mana and Luck, have been raised. Normally, Servants with this skill would be no different from raging beasts. However, due to her Protection of the Faith, her "Insanity" has instead become "Fanaticism".
    Increases Buster Card effectiveness by 10%
    Presence Concealment D
    The ability to hide one's presence as a Servant. At this rank, an enemy will easily be able to detect Berserker if they know she is in the area. That said, even this level of concealment is impressive for a Berserker.
    Increases own critical star generation by 4%
    Urban Mystery EX
    Abilities not possessed in life are attributed to the Servant’s spirit or ghost itself. Skills which would not normally be available can be used.
    The legends surrounding Berserker have little to do with the events of her life, and as a ghost she possessed many traits that the original woman did not. However, since these traits are attributed solely to Berserker’s ghost they cannot definitively be called false, rendering her unfit for the ability Innocent Monster.
    Replaces Presence Concealment D after Interlude.
    Increases own critical star generation by 10%. Increases own critical star absorption by 600%.

    Personal Skills
    Protection of the Faith A+
    The measure of one's devotion towards their religion. Though it's considered a form of divine protection, it doesn't actually come from any divine intervention. Rather, it's the absoluteness of one's faith affecting their body and soul. In Berserker's case, she devoutly punishes anyone whom she deems to be a heretic.
    Increases own debuff resist [50-100%] for 3 turns. Recovers own HP [1000-2500]. Increases own Defense [20%-40%] for 1 turn. CD [7-5]
    Mana Burst (Flame) B
    A form of Mana Burst which infuses weapons with a powerful flame effect. In Berserker's case, it is always active and will affect any weapon she touches. As a result, it has a constant Mana cost.
    Increases own Buster Card performance [15%-25%] for one turn. Increases own NP damage [8%-15%] for 1 turn. CD [7-5]
    Revengeful Ghost EX
    The strength of one’s grudge, measured by one’s persistence as a wraith. The ability to continue working towards a goal even when killed.No matter how many times Berserker is defeated in battle, she will always return with a grudge against her killer. The effects of this skill don’t regenerate the body, but rather create a completely new one around the soul. However, she can be defeated by mana deprivation and holy rites that would normally be ineffective against Servants.
    Grant self 3 uses of Guts [1500-3000] for 3 turns. CD [8-6]
    Noble Phantasms
    Noble Phantasms
    Heretical Execution ~ Sinners Deserve to Burn
    Madonna Gomorrah
    Anti-Army, B
    Targets: 1-288
    The ultimate manifestation of Berserker's religious devotion. For the glory of God and the happiness of his people, those who sin must be purified. Berserker swings her scythe, releasing a wave of fire. Those caught in the flame will, of course, be incinerated. The flames will leave the surrounding landscape poisoned and barren; the smell alone is enough to make one sick. Remaining in the area for too long can even lead to death.

    As it is based on the concept of "public execution" rather than any feat in combat, its direct power is weak compared to abilities of similar rank and style. The Phantasm's true power lies in the long lasting, poisonous odor. Based on an anecdote describing the state of a city under her rule. While the flames of persecution killed only 288 people total, it was said that the smell of burning flesh didn't dissipate for weeks. It reached a point where civilians were unable to leave their houses, lest the smell caused them to fall ill.

    The fire will only affect sinners and will harm them in accordance to the weight of their sin. However, in Berserker's eyes most people are great sinners by default, so this effect rarely comes into play.

    Buster
    Deal damage to all enemies [300%-500%] and inflict Poison on all enemies for 5 turns [500-2500, effect increases with overcharge].

    My Children in Another Heaven
    Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary
    Anti-Unit, EX
    Tagets: 1
    A Phantasm which manifests the full power of the Bloody Mary legend. While normally Berserker's true power is restricted by her human past self, once this Phantasm is activated she is able to use the full power of her ghostly self.

    Uniquely, this Phantasm is not activated by Berserker. Rather, it is activated when another entity repeats the words "Bloody Mary" three times in succession. That person then becomes Berserker's target. By activating this skill, the target trades their identity in order to become "a victim of Bloody Mary". When facing Berserker, the target's skills, parameters, and Noble Phantasms all become meaningless. Nothing will be able to prevent or postpone their inevitable death. In exchange, Berserker loses all reason until her target dies. She will relentlessly pursue them without regard for the rest of the world. At this stage, not even a command seal could break her madness.

    While Berserker is bound to pursue her target until she kills them, this is only a matter of formality. Once her name has been spoken three times, the fact that her target dies by the hands of Bloody Mary becomes embedded in history. Even if Berserker or her Master should die, she will still manage to get the last word. It is due to the absoluteness of death that this Phantasm's rank is EX.
    Lore
    Lore
    Mary Tudor, England’s first ruling queen. The daughter of a notorious tyrant. Hated by her father, she took the throne through a series of coincidences. She only ruled for a short period and was largely overshadowed by her sister and successor, Queen Elizabeth, her legacy silently forgotten following her death. In modern times she’s managed to gain popularity as a ghost haunting bathroom mirrors.

    Height: 144 cm
    Weight: 44 kg
    Source: Historical Fact
    Region: England
    Alignment: Lawful Mad
    Gender: Female
    She fights using a scythe, but this has nothing to do with her nature in life or the stories that arose after her death. Though it is an inconvenient weapon, one day she began swinging it at her enemies as if it were perfectly natural.

    The evil queen who killed hundreds in a religious genocide, earning her the nickname "Bloody Mary". Her acts of cruelty, all in the name of God, shook England to its foundation, sparking a revolution that would change society... or not. In truth, religious persecutions were not uncommon during Mary's time, with her predecessors and successors committing mass executions of similar scale. Mary's short rule was not particularly notable, with the nickname "Bloody Mary" only becoming popular several centuries later. However, Mary was unique in that her persecutions were purely religious with no ulterior political motives, and that the majority of her executions were by burning rather than more humane methods.

    With several of her siblings and relatives after the throne, Mary was desperate to produce an heir. Unfortunately, her husband was frequently at war, giving her little opportunity. She eventually did become pregnant. However, when her water broke it was discovered that, mysteriously, there was no baby within her to deliver. Believing this as punishment from God, Mary committed to ridding her country of "heretics", sparking the Marian Persecutions. After killing 288 people Mary managed to become pregnant again, with her husband dying shortly after. However, once again there was no baby to deliver. Mary passed away following this event.

    Mary was queen for only 5 years, her rule was preceded by the tyrannical reign of Henry VIII and succeeded by the golden age of the Elizabethan Era. She was all but forgotten, never managing to become a Heroic Spirit. However, she held a strong grudge against the heretics of her country for "taking away her children", and as a result she became a wraith. Uniquely, as a wraith she did not become weaker over time. After several years, rumors of her ghost began circulating. As her infamy rose so did her power. As people's perceptions of her changed, so did her abilities. She eventually evolved into something completely different than the forgotten first queen.

    Urban Mystery: EX
    A unique skill, available only to those who have become more famous as ghosts than they were in life. Normally the Grail will return a spirit to the state they had in life. However, in Mary's case alone she is able to retain some abilities of her ghostly form.
    In this case, she gains the abilities Presence Concealment, Revengeful Ghost, and Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary.
    As she is still somewhat remembered as "our first queen" within her home country, Mary would receive a power boost due to popularity if summoned in England. However the Urban Mystery skill would be lost, making her all around weaker.

    Creator's Notes
    It's been a while but this is my latest one. I made her for an RP so I was holding back on posting her, but it kind of flopped so it's probably fine now. I also wanted to try and do it Grand Order style this time and I think I did a decent job.

    In Grand Order, she would be a mix between bootleg Heracles and an Assassin, a jack of all trades who's not amazing at anything. She has good critical star generation and absorption for a Berserker, but compared to an Assassin she's still pretty bad. Likewise, she has great damage for an Assassin, but compared to a "real" Berserker she's mediocre. Her Noble Phantasm is also pretty bad. The only thing she really has going for her is her decent durability, and Cu is better at that anyway. Hence why she's a 3 star.

    In a traditional setting, her gimmick would be abusing Revengeful Ghost. Even after Mad Enhancement and her constantly active Mana Burst, she's still a pretty shitty Berserker. However, thanks to Presence Concealment she can surprise enemies who think they've killed her. Likewise, once her secret is revealed, she can just continuously attack and attack without having to worry about her own safety. In the end, her fighting style is pretty Berserker-ish despite her low stats. My Children in Another Heaven is actually meant to be a weakness for her- it's a guaranteed kill on whoever activates it, but it forces Mary away from her Master, opening a huge window of opportunity. Just use a random familiar as a sacrifice.
    Last edited by TresserT; December 8th, 2017 at 05:46 AM.

  9. #8489
    please talk to me about your OCs Saron's Avatar
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    FCs

    As Berserker

    As Archer

    Name; Abraham “Bram” Stoker
    Class; Caster/Archer/Berserker
    Armament: Revolver with silver bullets, kukri and bowie knife, magecraft
    Alignment: True Neutral
    Source: Ireland, Historical fact, Dracula
    Attribute: Man or Earth
    Traits: Human, Vampire

    Stats:
    Strength: D
    Agility: C
    Endurance: E
    Mana: B
    Luck: B+
    Noble Phantasm: A

    Likes: Ireland, quiet nights alone
    Dislikes: Vampires, people with silver tongues
    Talents: Creating monster stories
    Natural Enemy: Dracula

    Skills
    Class Skills:
    Item Construction: C
    The ability to create items and weapons with magical energy and provided materials. Normally would only be able to create items such as pens and pieces of parchment, but due to Innocent Monster, has gained the ability to create objects associated with vampire hunting such as stakes, garlic, and crossbow bolts. All of the items he creates will posses very strong irony scents.

    Territory Creation: B
    The ability to create a terrain beneficial to one as a magus. Is able to create a workshop, where item creation is greatly accelerated and all magical attacks are more potent.

    Personal Skills:
    Innocent Monster: C
    An attribute possessed by Servants whose true history and existence have been distorted by the monstrous reputations and gossips they accrued across the course of their life and thereafter, without concern for the actual person's will or appearance. As a consequence, the Servant's abilities and appearance have been rendered to conform to the specifications of their legend. In Caster’s case, it is the Curse of the Readers. He has gained aspects of the stereotypical vampire hunter, yet also carries a vampire's fangs. His personality has also been warped.

    Bloodsucker: C-
    The ability of the vampire, by consuming blood recovers own health and mana. If summoned as Archer, this skill is changed into an extension of his Independent Action skill. A result of Innocent Monster, he has gained vampiric traits and abilities, such as bloodsucking.

    Monster Hunter (False): C-
    A skill representing one who do to the warping of one’s legend, has gained the knowledge and ability to hunt monsters. A direct effect of Innocent Monster from Van Helsing's reputation as a monster hunter. Gains a (+) to all stats against any opponent with monstrous characteristics.


    Noble Phantasm
    Dracul
    The Vampire Shall Be Slain

    Anti-Unit
    B+
    Targets: 1
    Range: 1~15

    As the premier vampire story writer of the modern era, he took the real life man, Vlad Tepes III, and used him as the basis for the vampire in his story, Dracula.

    This act crystallized, by selecting a target who has a vampiric trait in their legend or current state(Injury from silver weaponry, blood drinking, Mystic Eyes, charming others, etc.), and with a successful luck check, he can transform them into a vampire. This curse is a double edged sword, as they gain vampiric bonuses, but they also receive all the weaknesses of vampires, such as sunlight, silver, an insatiable thirst for blood, and Holy Sacraments.

    This Noble Phantasm cannot be revoked upon activation, as Vlad's legend is permanently stained by Bram's story.


    Lore
    Caster is Bram Stoker, Irish author of the world renowned horror novel, Dracula. Despite the books lackluster relevance in the Victorian era, it’s influence on popular culture in the past century is undeniable. From inspiring the creation of the cinematic masterpiece Nosferatu, to countless additional novels and movies.

    Bram's was a good friend of J. W. Brodie-Innis, a member of the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn, an organization focused on studying the occult and magecraft in Victorian era London. Although he was never a member, he did practice some forms of magecraft along with his friend to further their own influence and power.

    But, as result of his famed novel, his Servant form has been tainted by both the concept of the Vampire Hunter, and of the Vampire. As Caster, he has an equilibrium between the two, as Archer he gains the dominance of the Hunter, and as Berserker he gains the dominance of the Vampire.

    <I>
    Inspired by a conversation in an earlier post in the thread, I introduce Bram Stoker as Caster.
    My thirst for Antonio grows by the second.

    Man...

    I Make Servants, Some Of Which Are Tragedies

  10. #8490
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors Bird of Hermes's Avatar
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    Reminds me of the Abraham van Helsing I made like 2 years ago but never got around to remaking.

  11. #8491
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors Bird of Hermes's Avatar
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    "Understand my predicament; I have toppled the King's of Heaven with my bare hands, with a glance I can destroy everything you hold dear and move on without another thought. I have conquered what comes before and I will be there at the end. You're a fledgling incapable of comprehending the sun. I'm old, very old so I invite you to contemplate how insignificant I find your petty boasts of power."


    Source: (X)

    Class: Rider
    Alternate Class(es): Archer
    Alignment: Chaotic Good
    Region: India

    Height/Weight:
    178cm/78kg
    Likes: Snakes, Strong women
    Dislikes: Fights that are impossible to win
    Talent: Deep and meaningful conversation
    Natural Enemy: Lakshmana, Sefar, Type Saturn
    Attribute: Sky
    Traits: Servant, Humanoid, Demon, Divine, Male
    Armament: Chariot, Arrow

    Parameters:

    STR: B
    END: A
    AGI: A
    MGI: A
    LCK: B
    NP: A++

    Class Skills:

    Magic Resistance: D
    Grants protection against magical effects. Differing from the Resistance effect that merely rejects Magical Energy, this ability cancels the spells altogether.
    Cancels Single-Action spells. Magic Resistance of the same degree of an amulet that rejects magical energy.

    Riding: EX
    Denoting the ability to ride mounts and vehicles. Rider-class Servants will typically possess a high rank. It is said that dragon type mounts are an exception, requiring a different ability other than Riding.
    Given his feats with a mount, he possesses the greatest level this skill can attain and can ride any form of creature, vehicle or transportation.

    Personal Skills:

    Battle Continuation: A

    a Skill that allows for the continuation of combat after sustaining mortal wounds. It will also reduce mortality rate from injury. This Skill represents the ability to survive and/or the mentality of one who doesn't know when to give up, consisting of one's strength of vitality in predicaments. It is also one of the powers of a vampire. The best result is achieved when a resilient body is combined with this Skill.
    Never gives up, not even till the very end. Legend tells he only stopped fighting until after his head was removed from his shoulders. Can remain alive so long as one does not receive a decisive fatal wound and makes it possible to fight even with deadly injuries.

    Divinity: C

    The measure of whether one has Divine Spirit aptitude or not. At high levels, one is treated as a mixed race of a Divine Spirit, and the level declines when the Heroic Spirit's own rank as a Monster or Demonic Beast raises. It can also decrease due to one's dislike for the gods. Those who have A Rank Divinity or above has reached the Throne of Gods. It also has an effect which reduces special defensive values called 'purge defence' in proportion to the Divinity's Rank. It can break through Skills such as Protection of the Faith and Enlightenment of the Sacred Fig.
    Son of the Demon King of Lanka and a mortal woman, Rider possesses a mix of mundane, demonic and divine blood. It is particularly powerful against those with a connection to Storm or Sun Gods.

    God Slayer: B

    A skill originating from defeating the King of Devas in fair single combat despite being a meagre mortal himself and gaining the epithet ‘Conqueror of Heaven’.
    This Skill is super effective against Divine Spirits. A 'plus' modifier is gained when attacking Divine Spirits, wraiths, and Servants with the Divinity Skill.

    Mana Burst Lighting: B
    The increase in performance caused by infusing one's weapons and body with Magical Energy and instantly expelling it. Simply put, recreating the effect of a jet burst by expending large amounts of Magical Energy.
    Originating from his duel against the King of Heaven himself, Rider can infuse himself and his weapons with the lightning element.

    Monstrous Strength: A
    A Skill that temporarily grants a rank-up to one's Strength parameter for a time limit determined by the ranking of this Skill. This Skill is borne from the holder's nature as a monster or Demonic Beast.
    Rider possesses this skill due to being a direct descendent of the near-immortal Demon King himself. The rank is reduced due to being summoned in his noblest aspect however the longer he is under the influence of this skill, the more he will lose himself and his body will slowly warp into becoming like that of Ravana.

    Noble Phantasms


    Pashupatastra
    O’Shiva, Purge Them All


    Type: Anti-Unit/Anti-Army
    Rank: A+
    Range: 1~1000
    Maximum Targets: 1 Person

    The Pashupatastra, is a divine construct and one of the ultimate weapons in Hindu mythology. An irresistible and most destructive personal weapon of; Shiva, Kali and Adi Para Shakti discharged by the mind, the eyes, words, or a bow. Never to be used against lesser enemies or by lesser warriors, the Pashupatastra is capable of destroying all creation in its path… if not limited by the servant summoning system.

    Due to being summoned as a Rider, it materialises as a glint in his eye before unleashing a beam of explosive energy that erases all in its path. It can only be used upon an enemy that is equal in power or superior so against anyone lesser it can only ever be a particularly mean glare.

    “A true hero kills with a stare!”


    Indra
    Conqueror of Heaven


    Type: Anti-Fortress, Anti-Divine
    Rank: EX
    Range: 1~500
    Maximum Targets: 1000

    The ultimate Noble Phantasm of Rider and the crystallisation of his ultimate feat. After besting Indra and sparing him being tied to his chariot, the name [Indrajit] being granted as reward. The King of Devas was not fastened but out of honour and respect instead became the chariot.

    Although a Servant summoning a Divine Spirit shouldn’t be possible it is possible to summon a Buneri offshoot in the form of a shining golden chariot capable of moving and flight even without steeds to pull them. Brought forth through incantation, it boasts extraordinary power and is able to move at the speed of lightning, and firing of pseudo-astras that - though robbed of Anti-World abilities – still possess terrifyingly strong power that rival the Noble Phantasms of even the greatest Heroic Spirits, including the astra Vajra which Rider gains access to atop his mount.

    It possesses number of weakness, due to the nature of the duel between God and Mortal being a ‘fair fight’ Rider can only use this Noble Phantasm when his opponent is using theirs as well whether it be actively calling out the True Name or continual passive use. Furthermore due to continual connection being required, the moment Rider leaves the chariot, it will dematerialise in an instant. Finally the sheer mana cost is akin to having contracts with multiple servants so great care must be taken, especially the consumption required to maintain the likes of Rider.

    “O’Indra, Come and Cleanse This Planet”


    Vaishnavastra
    O’Vishnu, Ride On


    Type: Anti-Unit
    Rank: B+
    Range: 2-40
    Maximum Targets: 1 Person

    A Noble Phantasm that manifest as an arrow the size of a javelin. It is a peculiar weapon more akin to a spear, it carries the concepts of ‘Ignoring defence’ and ‘Piercing’, ignoring any barriers that are of a lower rank and when launched at an enemy has a high chance of impaling them depending on a successful roll. Due to not being summoned as an Archer, he does not have a bow to actually fire it and so prefers to use it as a melee weapon. In this class however, he can use it as an improvised mount and ride the wind much like a surfboard.

    Brahmashirsha Astra
    He Who Destroys Gods and Planets, Harvester Star


    Type: Anti-World, Anti-Creation
    Rank: A+++ (EX)
    Range: 1~999
    Maximum Targets: 1 Celestial Body

    The most destructive Noble Phantasm in Rider’s possession. It appears to be a star shining brightly in the sky, even during daytime. However it is the Omega, much like how the ‘Sword of Rupture’ represents the creation, this is nothing but absolute destruction, the end.

    When activated it rains down hundreds, nah millions of bolts of light. Each line of light is said to carry "extreme damage values" that are comparable to an A-rank Noble Phantasm like Excalibur. It is a weapon feared by even the most powerful divine spirits and can be activated using sacred mantras and invoking them into any object as a catalyst, even a blade of grass.

    When this weapon is invoked, "It blazes up with terrible flames within a huge sphere of fire. Numerous peals of thunder were heard, thousands of meteors fell and all living creatures became terrified with great dread. The entire sky seemed to be filled with noise and assumed a terrible aspect with flames of fire. The whole earth with her mountains and waters and trees trembled." When it strikes nothing will be able to grow again.

    Not wanting do destroy everything as it would defeat the purpose of his wish and summons, he restricts its power as so it does not destroy all 14 realms of existence.
    “Then let me show you, the inevitable end of your journey. The sun that burns all creation to feed itself before collapse. See this and know the song of zero. Look up and behold upon the Harvester Star!”


    Biography

    Indrajit, according to Hindu mythology, was a prince of Lanka and a conqueror of Indra Loka (heaven) like his father before him. He was mentioned in the Indian epic Ramayana. Indrajit played an active role in the great war between Rama and Ravana. He only is considered as a Mahamaharathi class warrior ever born on earth. He is one and only warrior who possessed the three ultimate weapons of Trimurti;. Brahmanda astra, Vaishnavastra, and Pashupatastra. Born under the name Meghanada as his birth-cry was like that of thunder.

    “I would not expect you to know who I once was for we all change and grow, I anticipate watching how you develop, Master.”

    His mother Mandodari and father Ravana wished son to be supreme so that no one in the world could defeat him. Ravana wanted his son to be the ultimate warrior and extremely knowledgeable. Ravana was a great astrologist so to make his son immortal he commanded all the planets and constellations in such a position that would allow his son to be born the way he wanted. Because of Ravana’s anger and power, all the spirits of the planets and constellation feared him. All the planets were in the position as desired by Raavan at time of his son Meghnad’s birth however will of Saturn defied him at the last moment. Regardless, Meghanada grew up to be a virtuous man all could aspire to be and a splendid fighter in all schools of weaponry. He was married off to Sulochana, the equally virtuous daughter of the King of the Serpents, Shesha Naga. Despite the nature of their arrangement, they were a loving couple who mutually supported each other on a physical and emotional standpoint.

    “Even when the stars would stand against us, we do not bow or brake for then… what good are we. I assure you that I shall stand by your side forever.”


    During the battle against Asuras and Devas, he sided with his father, Ravana the Demon King and openly defied Lord Indra, vowing to tie him to his chariot. Against all odds he defeated the King of Heaven in single combat and showed compassion and didn’t humiliate the Divine Spirit further and bestowed the name Indrajit to him. Further victories soon followed as he destroyed a significant amount of the opposing faction further but-

    “Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall – I know not who said these words but it would be an accurate chronicle of my life. I’m not sure whether it would be portrayed as a comedy or a tragedy though. The latter would be easier to market to the masses.”


    Rama came to battle and humiliated Ravana coming to the front of combat, Indrajit used all his divine weaponry against Lakshmana but to no avail as Lakshmana and Rama were avatars of Vishnu and even when he could would them, they were healed by other Devas. Despite being more powerful by a strong standpoint, he didn’t possess the right abilities to defeat his opponent – at this point he realised the final victory would be impossible to obtain. He spoke to his father to propose a truce, for humiliation in defeat was infinitely preferable than all demon-kind being exterminated.

    “Father, you would have seen us all dead and buried before his precious pride was tarnished” One must do what is right no matter what. I ought slay you now and save our people from your vicious idiocy!!”


    Unfortunately Ravana, despite his immortality and great power was a fool. The genocide of his people was his choice. Ravana insulted Indrajit, calling him a traitor and a coward in utter disgust and hatred. Indrajit contemplated killing his father, knowing how to bypass the formers immortality and Ravana himself could feel the killing intent emanating off his son but fortunately for them all, Indrajit calmed himself.

    Biding a final farewell to his mother and wife, he left to fight a battle where he was doomed to die, not to defeat his enemies but instead to stall them as long as possible so those he loved could survived. It was a battle that shook the heavens and earth with all onlookers only able to stop fighting and stare in awe. But alas…
    He and Lakshmana knew that Indrajit simply could not kill his foe, his weapons were utterly worthless in use but the latter’s were not. Indrajit would only fall after decapitation, ultimately leaving the Asuras doomed.

    “So that was my life, I hope you enjoyed the tale. Though colourful it was a mixed experience admittedly.”


    Character

    A true and virtuous hero who due to loyalty stood on the side of villains. The Rider class is the ‘Heroic’ side of Indrajit who was strong of heart and mind both and a truly kind soul despite everything, unlike Archer who would manifest as the expectation of a Villainous Demon.

    Dignified and just, he is the sort of person everyone looks up to and feels good about. He is a true superman who cares neither for material wealth nor glory but instead to protect the people he knows and loves. Even should it need to arise, he will not fall to restoring upon cowardly schemes. Unreasonably heroic for a demon.

    Upon introspection, one will realise the way he throws himself into everything is due to his desire to protect love and… be loved. He holds little true value in himself and bases all his worth upon others; can he protect them, can he care for them, do they love him? These are all questions he asks himself constantly and builds himself off. He would gladly throw away his life in an instant if it would improve the lives of those he loves, even if it was just a fraction. To save his homeland, his people and beloved, he would gladly die a thousand times over. It should be obvious what his wish is, to rewrite fate and defeat Lakshmana, not out of petty jealously, hatred or the like but he wants to see his mother and wife. He wants to see them safe, he wants to see them happy.

    He adores strong women in many forms, they could be strong of will, heart, body, he admires each and every one. Although fully capable of romance once summoned, either with another servant or a female master his heart fully belongs to his wife and, should she be brought into this world somehow, he will drop his current lover in a heartbeat. However he will let you know his conditions first to give ample warning.

    Due to his experience in astrology, he has some remnant knowledge of what lies beyond the realms of Gaia. He knows planets have a will and their own champions, whom he has something of a negative disposition towards, mainly that of Saturn. He is aware of an “Anti-Cell” that appears every 14,000 years who that is apparently a scourge against gods.

    If there is a master who cannot win even after forming a contract with Rider, then they would be the biggest good-for-nothing and an active liability who should not be allowed on the battlefield under any circumstance.


    Interactions


    Ravana:
    The Demon King is Indrajit’s father so he ought to have some respect for the man but seeing the sort of person he is ruined their relationship forever. Should the two be summoned in the same war, Indrajit would gladly fight and destroy Ravana and any ‘dialogue’ had would mostly be incoherent screaming. If they were to be on the same team, expect nothing more than cold silence

    Scathach:
    Due to information granted by the Grail, he knows Scathach to be a God Slayer. This awakens something of a warrior spirit within that would not normally be roused for knowing these things means that she is at least his equal or greater in power and combat. As such he would seek her out and request they fight each other at full power. Afterwards, should they both survive he would help her only her feat (or vise versa) and get a few drinks.

    Altera: All he knows is that she is not of his earth. She is a supposed abomination. He isn’t sure to be excited or genuinely terrified so he settles upon both.


    Key Words/Bond 10 CE

    Astra

    There was a time when power made sense.
    If you have more wealth than another man then you have power over them,
    having more strength than another man then you have power over them,
    wisdom is another commodity of which grants power over others.
    However by itself, power is worthless.

    The Demon King was an Immortal Divine and still fell but all villains lose their battles.
    All he ever truly fought for was himself. He died with no one to morn for him.
    Even when you have something to give your life for, it still isn’t enough.
    He had brought the King of Heaven to his knees with his own two hands and I can say with no ego that he had enough firepower to destroy planets.
    But when it counted most, he was powerless. He couldn’t protect what actually mattered.

    Therefore power is worthless.


    Creators Notes:
    What is UP lads. I'm drunk and I remembered that Karna wasn't the most OP figure in Indian Myths. This is equal parts Alcohol Power Levels and 100% accurate.

    I think at least.

  12. #8492
    夜魔 Nightmare Express's Avatar
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    Old Man Too Strong For His Own Good, Very Bored.

  13. #8493
    please talk to me about your OCs Saron's Avatar
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    The fabled drunk Hermes Servant. This is the first time I've witnessed it as it happened instead of after the fact. Most impressive!
    My thirst for Antonio grows by the second.

    Man...

    I Make Servants, Some Of Which Are Tragedies

  14. #8494
    死徒(下級)Lesser Dead Apostle TresserT's Avatar
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    The problem I had when making my Indrajit was that he has too many feats and abilities to cram into one Servant. I kind of messed up by trying to get everything in, but on the other hand I feel kind of disappointed that so many of his powers were cut out in your iteration, including some really notable ones. I guess it can't be helped when he's, like, the original Mary Sue, though.

    And of course, he's justifiedly op.

  15. #8495
    Time to burn some dread Daneel Rush's Avatar
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    I'm still waiting for the idiot who will stat Arjuna/Karna/Indrajit/whoever with every single goddamn Astra. We're getting closer and closer with every iteration.

  16. #8496
    死徒(下級)Lesser Dead Apostle TresserT's Avatar
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    I feel like I'm calling myself an idiot by replying, but I did make one sort of like that. Though it was more based on the idea that tons of weapons he never had were later attributed to him.

  17. #8497
    Time to burn some dread Daneel Rush's Avatar
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    I thought Sukracharya was a really good NP, though.

  18. #8498
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors Bird of Hermes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Daneel Rush View Post
    I'm still waiting for the idiot who will stat Arjuna/Karna/Indrajit/whoever with every single goddamn Astra. We're getting closer and closer with every iteration.
    Fun fact, I still held back massively

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by Saron View Post
    The fabled drunk Hermes Servant. This is the first time I've witnessed it as it happened instead of after the fact. Most impressive!
    Clearly my (apparent) reputation precedes me

  19. #8499
    lordofvenom venomking's Avatar
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    True name: melonkomas:
    class: assassin.
    other classes: none.

    paramter:
    endurance: C+.
    strength: C
    agiltiy: B.
    Mana: D.
    Luck: E
    noble phantasms: B++.

    Hight: 5"10.
    Skintone: olive.
    Comllextion: perfect.
    Bodytype: muscular.
    Hair:black.
    Eyes: sea green.
    Likes: a good fight.
    Dislikes: dishonor, tragedy.
    natrual enemies: none.
    Natrual allies: none.
    Armament: none.
    Catlyste: his bones.
    Origion: Greece.

    Skills.
    Bravery, C.
    He was said to be has brave as his own body as buetifull, however he was not legendary for it and therefor does not posses a high rank in this skill, with this rank he can resist all forms of mental interference with the exeption of those brought on by noble phantasms, and he not totally unfected by any mental interference he faces weather brought on by an NP or not.

    Worrior of skill, B.
    A skill given to those who never once gained victory throu luck in any part of there life, this skills lowers the luck parametric those around him/her, at assassins level set ants suffer an instance - decrease to there luck parameters.

    Battle continuation, C.
    He was allegedly able to fight for entire days withou tireing, thou he never suffered a debilating wound so does posses this skill at a high rank, this skill allows him to fight for days without tiring so long as he doesn't suffer a serious wound.

    Instincts, C.
    Do to his many matches he devolped a moderate rank in this skill, at his rank he can sense most oncoming attacks, but cannot sense bloodlust, or attacks by those useing presence concealment.

    Class skills.
    Presence concealment, E.
    Pas he was never known to use stealth in life, he does not posses this skill in a high rank, at his level it difficult to pinpoint his exact location but not impossible so long he keeps his distance, the only he is an assassin is because it's the only class he can join.

    Noble phantasms:

    name: Den édosa oúte élava epíthesi
    rank: B++.
    Type: anti-unit.
    Range: 1.
    A noble phantasm which takes his style of fighting and turns into a skill which can only be a noble phantasm. It's special ability allows him to dodge attacks so long the attack or phantasms does not exceed the rank of B, however his to dodge, parry, or block attacks from A rank phantasms is still at the phanasms century level allowing to lesson the damage from debilitating wound to a scratch by dodging or blocking the majority of the strike. However this is not what makes this phantasm dangerous the true danger comes from the second nature of this phantasm every missed strike on assassin increases the cost for the enemy servants attacks, for example if they miss strikes on him the cost of activating there nps increase and the cost needed to stay in the world, etc are then increased by 2 and the strikes the miss the more it costs just to continue fighting this meant to represent assassins style of fighting which involved assassin dodging, parrying or blocking his opponents blows until they were to tired to continue or passed out. His phantasm is passively active as long as he doesn't attack.

    Combat: assassin will continue to use his phantasm until the moment the servant is tired out enough for him to land a deadly blow, he will also give advice and hints to servants while they attack him, do to this he a dangerous servant.

    Background: born to a good family at young age he relished he possessed super level strength and agility and grew to fear it, not because it made abnormal but because he knew the lives of heroes was a tragic one and did want to breed tragedy into the world, he trained everyday to find to a way to inspire without tragedy and throu boxing achieved that ideal, he would neither receive an attack nor have an attack land on him that was his way to inspire, he died happy thou he wished he can face an opponent who he could go all out on.

    Personality: he is wise, kind, and caring person who will give advice not only to his enemies, but also his master and his allies, he does not posses a wish for the grail only to have fight we he doesn't hold back, but if he did have a wish it would likely be take tragedy away from the world.
    Last edited by venomking; December 9th, 2017 at 06:35 PM.

  20. #8500
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Melankomas 2.0: Definitely better then your first take on the guy. The part in his NP about increasing Mana cost with each missed attack is both a cool interpretation of his legend and a clever way of defeating enemy Servants with his wholly defensive fighting style. I do have a few critiques though.

    First off, Battle Continuation is specifically the ability to keep fighting while injured, so just being able to fight for a long time without tiring shouldn't give him the Skill. If you want a Skill to represent his high stamina then I think Arash's Robust Health Skill would be much more fitting, particularly since it even includes never having received a wound on the battlefield as one of the criteria for possessing it.

    Also, I brought this up for your first Melankomas sheet but I'm surprised by the lack of any Pygmachia (Greek boxing) related Skill. I'd suggest putting it in place of Bravery though, as 5 Skills would be a bit much.

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