Create-A-Servant 2

[Kabalisto Koga]

EEEHHHHH !!! i dont know what i should say beside that it would be cool to see hm in a carnival phantasm like Scenario !!
PS: i would wish to see a carnival phantasm with kara no kyokai,fate - Zero, - Grand order and last encore,- apocrypha it would be burst the viewing figures /Charts like Excaliber !

[Lambda-Nu]

This is so funny! Good job!

[Historia]

Don't really have time to work on these sheets at all, but, if anyone wants to gather some ideas for their own interpretations here (because I think they'd be interesting to see regardless):

Berserker - Mademoiselle Célestine R. from The Diary of a Chambermaid by Octave Mirbeau -- basically think a raunchier, more heartless Berserker Florence Nightingale who looks like Belfast from Azur Lane. Only, instead of doing anything to save lives, she'll do anything to save herself. She's disgusted by society, and money, and her own circumstances, and yet, at the same time, embraces them and uses them to her advantage. Sexual, sadistic, hypocritical, she wants liberation, revolution, freedom... and sometimes the only way out is to become that which you hate. (I didn't get very far into the novel, so I was mainly working from reviews in both French and English).

Avenger (Lostbelts) - Kriemhild if she took her revenge to the next level and became the literal queen of worms. That is to say, a mother of dragons. An anti-hero closer to a monster who bathes in blood and breathes fire. Or maybe it's a laserbeam because Balmung. Since a picture speaks a thousand words.

[CritHit]

Okay, this is my attempt at making a protagonist-tier Shielder. I'm hoping I didn't wind up overdoing it in the end. I hope you guys like it, I created his second Noble Phantasm soley to get some chuckles out of the people here, you'll get WHY when you read it.
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Name: Numa Pompillius
Class: Shielder
Alternative Class: Ruler
Alignment: Lawful Good

Likes: People, Rome, Reading
Dislikes: War, Being Burdened with Leadership

Origin: Rome
Armament: A gladius
Color: Red
Natural Enemy: Gilgamesh

Spoiler:

Personality: Numa is a soft-spoke fellow, who despite his quietness, radiates an aura of confidence and authority. He is an intelligent fellow, and enjoys reading and playing strategical games such as chess. If summoned in modern times, Shielder will indulge himself in genres that were unavailable to him at the time, science-fiction especially so.

While not one to promote war, or any violence against another person, Shielder is not a total pacifist. He is well practiced in cobat, and is very tactical in combat.

Shielder often happens to be somewhat of a romantic. If summoned as a Servant, he will long to be reunited with his love and consort, the nymph Egeria, and can become somewhat mopey at times. He finds that all other women pale in comparison to her beauty, and will not hesitate state his opinion on the matter.

In regards to interaction with his Master, he is generally quite agreeable. While he has no wish of his own, or desire to be a part of any Holy Grail War, he simply accepts his lot in life, as he once did when he became Emperor. He is a good advisor to have in the war, though he will never allow his opinion to override his Master's, however, he will refuse to partake in unnecessarily violent actions, such as killing bystanders, purposely causing extensive collateral damage, etc, and will refuse to obey his Master if they order him to do so.

It should be noted, as a king known for loving his people, and serving the gods, he could never get along with the likes of Gilgamesh. However, he would acknowledge the tragedy of the position he was in.

Spoiler:

Appearance: Shielder is a 6ft tall, bronze skinned man, with a slender, yet fit frame. He possesses curly, brown hair that is short in the front, yet hangs down to his shoulders in the back. He has a youthful, yet not babyish face, and large, inquisitive eyes the color of sand. In short, he looks like an old timey (although admittedly handsome) nerd.

Spoiler:

History: He was the successor to Romulus, the founder of Rome. (Forgive my copout here, typing all of this out on my phone is tiring and time consuming, so I'm cutting corners here. I will add this later if this profile gets enough interest.).

Stats:
Str: C
End: A
Agi: C
Mana: A
Luck: B
N.Phant.: A

Skills:
Class:
-Magic Resistance (A)
-Riding (C)
-Self-Field Defense (C)

Personal:
-Charisma (B)

-Affection of Jupiter (A):
Shielder was one of the most devout followers of Jupiter, as well as one of the few mortals to have regular, direct contact with him. This cordial relationship between the two resulted in Jupiter granting Shielder two boons. First, lightning (or electricity of any sort) cannot harm him. Additionally, any skill or Noble Phantasm granted by, or invoking the name of a Roman or Greek (due to the Roman pantheon merely being a facet of the Greek one) deity will be negated against Shielder. Of course, if that Skill/NP is from Zeus/Jupiter himself, this effect is null.

-Prophecy Coercion (C):
Through entering a trance like prayer for up to an hour, Shielder can have the gods pass onto him prophecies related to what will happen in his future. To have a prophecy passed onto him, Shielder must have a question which it can relate to. The answers will not be riddles, but will always be a bit vague, as prophecies are never resolute.

Spoiler:

Noble Phantasm (s):
The Ancile~The Twelve Shields of Rome
Type: Defense
Rank: A
Targets: Up to 12
Range: 15
Shielder manifests the Ancile, twelve crystal shields gilded with brass. They are all circular, and are 12in. in diameter. Each shield can be independently manifested, or all can be manifested at the same time, in various patterns and distances of Shielder. Shielder can freely manipulate their movement to his will, and they move with speed and grace of a Servant with "B" ranked Agility. When stationary, they are held in place with C-Rank (Shielder's) Strength, and can only be moved with the appropriate force. Each Ancile is completely the same in design and strength, each one individually strong enough to require an A-rank Noble Phantasm to destroy. If a shield is destroyed, Shielder loses it for the remainder of the war. Alternatively, each shield can be charged with mana, and be detonated as an A+ strength Broken Phantasm.
True Ancile~ Authority of Jupiter: Absolute Defense
Type: Defense
Rank: A
The true activation of the Ancile. While legend has it that 11 duplicates of the true Ancile were made, that is not entirely true. The True Ancile is a Conceptual Weapin, that can freely travel between the 12 shields. As such, all of the Ancile are simultaneously fakes, and the "true" Ancile. In order to activate this, Shielder must strap a single Ancile to his arm, which is the only one that can be manifested upon activation. Upon invoking its true name, the Ancile will emit a bright, golden light, which will create a barrier that completely shields Shielder's front. This barrier negates all acts of aggression or attempts to injure the one behind this barrier. There is no breaking through this barrier, as all attacks are negated as a concept, this includes attacks that aren't targeting him specifically. However, the weakness to this Noble Phantasm is that, while it is active, Shielder must be completely stationary, and as previously stated, the barrier only protects his front, leaving his flanks and back exposed.

Contra Celeres~ To Dismiss an Army
Type: Anti Army-Phantasm Phantasm
Rank: A
Targets: 30+
Range: -
If Shielder is ever against a force of 30 or more, he can co.pletely shut them down. He does this by negating the resources that power them. If it is an Army summoned or controlled by Mana or another power source, this NP will immediately shut off the flow of power to it. If it is a unit brought together by other means, it will simply take away their fighting spirit. Any army that has this NP used against it, cannot be mustered for another 24 hours.

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Welp, there we go, another profile posted, I hope you guys like it. My posts usually don't get much feedback, I'm hoping that doesn't mean they're super awful. Depending on what people think, I may update this post with more personal details, and even post the Ruler version of him. Also, my main curiosity, in an OC fanfic (yes, I know, sorry) would he make a good Servant to a protagonist?

[King of Padoru]

I can't really tell if that protection against Greek/Roman deities is OP or not, but other than that, he looks very good for a protagonist to me

[Shiki-pon]

Don't Shielders have Self-field Defense (or something to that effect) as a Class Skill?

I feel as though both the True Ancile and Affection of Jupiter are both a little over the top. The NP is fine I guess, but it doesn't seem to merit an EX ranking.
As for the skill, giving two absolute negations to an A-rank skill is a little much. It also raises the question of what happens when some other Servant with Jupiter/Zeus-related blessings comes along. Being some sort of absolute BFF of the notoriously fickle Classical deities just comes off as odd.

[Kabalisto Koga]

I can't really tell if that protection against Greek/Roman deities is OP or not, but other than that, he looks very good for a protagonist to me

Hm i think also this is a protagonist fitting type and i think his protection skill is okay . i will also make a shielder with a independet Manifestation skill.
ps: King of padoru ihope my suggestions i made for you were helpfull .

[King of Padoru]

Don't Shielders have Self-field Defense (or something to that effect) as a Class Skill?

Yup, I forgot to mention it in the other comment

[CritHit]

Don't Shielders have Self-field Defense (or something to that effect) as a Class Skill?

I feel as though both the True Ancile and Affection of Jupiter are both a little over the top. The NP is fine I guess, but it doesn't seem to merit an EX ranking.
As for the skill, giving two absolute negations to an A-rank skill is a little much. It also raises the question of what happens when some other Servant with Jupiter/Zeus-related blessings comes along. Being some sort of absolute BFF of the notoriously fickle Classical deities just comes off as odd.

The Type Moon wiki wasnt too clear on the class-skill thing. Its listed as a class skill on Mashu's page, but not on the actual Shielder page. On the True Ancile's rank, I figured it should be EX because nothing can overcome it as a forward facing shield, that seems pretty beyond a normal scale of power to me. Also, yeah it's odd, but that's his actual lore.

I was going to include that that skill had no effect on Zeus/Jupiter related blessings/NPs, I need to fix that. Thank you for the detailed review.

And thank you for the review King. I guess that ability might be a little OP if the first two reviews brought it up. I'm stubbornly hesitant to change it, but would making it just work on Roman gods be more acceptable?

[Kabalisto Koga]

Don't Shielders have Self-field Defense (or something to that effect) as a Class Skill?

I feel as though both the True Ancile and Affection of Jupiter are both a little over the top. The NP is fine I guess, but it doesn't seem to merit an EX ranking.
As for the skill, giving two absolute negations to an A-rank skill is a little much. It also raises the question of what happens when some other Servant with Jupiter/Zeus-related blessings comes along. Being some sort of absolute BFF of the notoriously fickle Classical deities just comes off as odd.

Thats a good question shiki-pon !? Its similar like when two Reality Marble with a equal strenght/authority are simultanous evoked what happens then as next /as reaction ?

[King of Padoru]

The Type Moon wiki wasnt too clear on the class-skill thing. Its listed as a class skill on Mashu's page, but not on the actual Shielder page. On the True Ancile's rank, I figured it should be EX because nothing can overcome it as a forward facing shield, that seems pretty beyond a normal scale of power to me. Also, yeah it's odd, but that's his actual lore.

I was going to include that that skill had no effect on Zeus/Jupiter related blessings/NPs, I need to fix that. Thank you for the detailed review.

And thank you for the review King. I guess that ability might be a little OP if the first two reviews brought it up. I'm stubbornly hesitant to change it, but would making it just work on Roman gods be more acceptable?

Lord Camelot is an ultimate protection that won't fall as long as the user has the will to protect and its rank is B+++. Considering True Ancile's limitations, you should lower the rank to B or B+, for example.
More than a negation of divine attacks, maybe something that reduces the damage from those with low to none Divinity could work?

[CritHit]

Lord Camelot is an ultimate protection that won't fall as long as the user has the will to protect and its rank is B+++. Considering True Ancile's limitations, you should lower the rank to B or B+, for example.
More than a negation of divine attacks, maybe something that reduces the damage from those with low to none Divinity could work?

Edited it a bit, added Self-Field Defense and the clarification that AoJ doesn't work on effects brought on by Jupiter/Zeus.

I also changed True Ancile to rank A. I feel like it's a bit better than Lord Camelot, as they have the same limitations, but Numa will never get disintegrated by heat while his shield still stands, as it negates the concept of harm from effecting him. And on your suggestion to fix AoJ, this may just be a matter of opinion, but I personally believe that an absolute defense against a niche thing (NPs used actually invoking gods are rare) is less OP than a general debuff to a much wider variety (Divinity is still relatively uncommon, even at low ranks), but maybe I'm wrong for thinking that way. Keeping it as is... for now.

[Lambda-Nu]

Historia: These are some very interesting concepts. I'll see what I can do with these.

[CritHit]

Wow, two in one day, I'm going crazy here. Anyway, this time it's one from a original class container I made, Trickster. I'm going to post at least one more Servant using this class later, so I hope you guys like it.
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Trickster
"Hmmm? You were expecting a guy? Heehee, men are so silly, even in their wildest fantasies, they couldn't imagine being out foxed by a girl. Heehee, see what I did there, Master?"

Name: Reynard the Fox
Class: Trickster
Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
Origin: Various European Countries
Attribute: Earth
Height: 5"
Weight: 98lbs
Likes: Pranks, Puns, Food
Dislikes: Uptight men, Hounds
Armament: None
Natural Enemy: Coyote

Parameters:
Str: C ++
End: C ++
Agi: B ++
Mana: B
Luck: A
N.Phant.: C

Skills:
Class:
- Silver Tongue (B):
The ability to deceive that is effective to the point of being supernatural. At this level, a lie told by Trickster would fool even the most cynical mind. Some external evidence would be required for one to be able to deduce that Tricksters statements are false. This ability does not work on those under Mad Enhancement or Mental Pollution of B-rank or higher.

- Presence Concealment (A):

Personal:
- Shapeshift (A):
The ability to transform one's body. Reynard can take various shapes, that of various animals, various anthropomorphic animals, she can change her humanoid form's appearance, and even take the form of a large, bestial fox. Using her Shapeshifting abilities to their fullest, she can raise her stat parameters to the modifiers shown.

-Nature of a Rebellious Spirit (B)

Noble Phantasm:
Glorious Deceit of the Fox~A Vixen's Illusion
Type: Anti-Unit
Rank: C
Targets: Up to 100
Range: 99
Trickster creates an illusion so realistic, it can have a physical impact on humans and beasts. The illusion could be as something as creating a duplicate of herself, or as complex as a creating an entire forest or a monstrous beast. These things are completely real to the beings viewing them, fooling all five of the primary senses, and will respond appropriately. If the illusion is struck with an attack that would kill or otherwise destroy the object in question, the illusion vanishes. Magic Protection does not protect one from this NP, nor does knowing it is an illusion. Those with A-Rank or higher Mad Enhancement or Mental Pollution are unaffected by this NP, however. It should be noted, creating these illusions requires a large amount of mana, and dependent on the size, quality, and strength of the creations she makes, can be manifested for up to an hour. If she were to create a monstrous beast, the highest she could make would only be slightly stronger than her bestial form, and if she maxed their strength, she could only make one at a time.

Pesonality:

Spoiler:

Trickster is a loud and overall goofy girl. Trickster loves to make jokes and bad (often fox related) puns. She never takes anything to seriously, and would even laugh off something like her arm being removed. Its not that she's stupid, or doesn't have any self-preservation, she just always manages to find the humor in things.

Trickster loves to eat, and could eat in one sitting more than most people could in one sitting. She is omnivorous, yet greatly prefers meat. While she is ashamed to admit it, as it goes against her girly demeanor she strives to maintain, but she hates sweets.

She is a bit of a flirty girl, and is not afraid of engaging in "physical activities " with anyone she finds attractive, regardless of their sex. Despite how she may come off, as a fox spirit, the human concept of romance is foreign to her. This is not to say that she is incapable of falling in love, it is just that if she were to ever truly love a human, she would not know how to handle it, and it would be likely her whole demeanor would change.

As a Servant, she would not be very useful in a Grail War. She'd be more concerned with playing games with those she found fun, and pranking others that she wouldn't even try. That's not to say she'd make a poor contender for a Grail. If a Master could secure her loyalty, whether it be through bribery, Command Seals, or affection, she would become extremely loyal. She doesn't like hurting people or animals however, so doing things such as devouring souls or targeting the enemy Master would be a no-go for her.

Bio:

Spoiler:

Reynard, as one would likely guess, is not a true Heroic Spirit. She is something closer to a Divne Beast, a collection of fox spirits, who, out of their curious and adventurous nature, tricked Gaia into accepting them into the Throne of Heroes as a being that vaguely fit the requirements of a Heroic Spirit.

The real Reynard is a satirical character used in stories all across Europe, and is still well known to this day. Reynard is an anthropomorphic fox, known for getting into trouble with the other anthrompormorphic species in his community. Whether he be portrayed in a villainous nature, or given the role of a peasant hero, he always has that sly, cunning nature that ties him to the spirit of the trickster.

Heroic Spirit Reynard could be said to be simultaneously more and less than the collection of Phantasmal spirits it once was. While they could have unified to become a Divine Spirit, they instead became a mortal with one unified mind, body, and soul, which is that of the ideal Reynard they all agreed to.

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Whelp, there she is, another Servant sheet, with noticeably better formatting (I guess I'm getting better at typing these out). I hope that there's not a "one sheet per day" rule... if hate to have to delete all this. Dx though if there is, my bad, and I will if I have to.

[RoydGolden]

Reynard: I'm used to Reynard as a nigh-sociopathic trickster who raped and killed with impunity, whose only saving grace was that he aimed his crimes solely at the corrupt nobles and upper-class of society. So seeing "him" as a cutesy fox-waifu is definitely jarring, though not in a bad way. (And you did justify it by making "Reynard" an amalgamation of fox-spirits rather then the actual satiric figure)

Her NP is a very generic "illusionist" ability, though, and seems very similar to Prelati's Grand Illusion NP from Strange Fake. Maybe give her something to do with her fortress Maleperduis as an NP?

[CritHit]

Reynard: I'm used to Reynard as a nigh-sociopathic trickster who raped and killed with impunity, whose only saving grace was that he aimed his crimes solely at the corrupt nobles and upper-class of society. So seeing "him" as a cutesy fox-waifu is definitely jarring, though not in a bad way. (And you did justify it by making "Reynard" an amalgamation of fox-spirits rather then the actual satiric figure)

Her NP is a very generic "illusionist" ability, though, and seems very similar to Prelati's Grand Illusion NP from Strange Fake. Maybe give her something to do with her fortress Maleperduis as an NP?

Yay! I got Royd to review a sheet of mine! Yeah, the actual Reynard could easily be interpreted as a monster. Yes, I realized that her NP is kind of generic, but rather than make an actual Reynard sheet in any way, I was more actively trying to make it a Trickster Spirit sheet with only the mask of Reynard, so I didn't actually want anything uniquely tied to him. But, as far as Trickster Spirits go, Shapeshifting and Illusions are their primary bag of tricks. I'll try to think of something different though.

Also, if you don't mind me asking, what's your opinion on my Shielder sheet? Sorry for it's poor formatting ahead of time.

[RoydGolden]

Also, if you don't mind me asking, what's your opinion on my Shielder sheet? Sorry for it's poor formatting ahead of time.

It's quite good. I'm not quite sure what anecdote his second NP is based of (or why you expected people to get "chuckles" out of it), though. Given he's a Roman emperor, I'm also a little surprised about the lack of Imperial Privilege amongst his Personal Skills, though I see why you left it out because has one quite powerful Skill already. Including IP as well could easily push him into wank territory.

[CritHit]

It's quite good. I'm not quite sure what anecdote his second NP is based of (or why you expected people to get "chuckles" out of it), though. Given he's a Roman emperor, I'm also a little surprised about the lack of Imperial Privilege amongst his Personal Skills, though I see why you left it out because has one quite powerful Skill already. Including IP as well could easily push him into wank territory.

Lol, sorry, I guess this thread has evolved beyond people spamming Army spawning NPs. I just wanted to make a good counter to the ridiculous amount of servants that had that ability. The logic behind it was that his first action as king was to dismiss the royal guard founded by Romulus himself. It was one of the actions that symbolized his future as a ultimately peaceful, trusting ruler. I figured that that type of ability wasn't completely outlandish for a Shielder to have, though I did think about only giving it to him as a Ruler.

EDIT: And yes, the lack of IP is soley to avoid wankage.

[Kabalisto Koga]

One Question crithit about Reynards nobelphantasm if i have understand it right is that her illusion manipulate all five sinns but shoud in the illusion be something destroyd the illusion fades away ? And im curious how is her behavior (changed)if she falls in love ?
Ps: Hearthly welcome in these premises,crithit !

[RoydGolden]

Lol, sorry, I guess this thread has evolved beyond people spamming Army spawning NPs. I just wanted to make a good counter to the ridiculous amount of servants that had that ability. The logic behind it was that his first action as king was to dismiss the royal guard founded by Romulus himself. It was one of the actions that symbolized his future as a ultimately peaceful, trusting ruler. I figured that that type of ability wasn't completely outlandish for a Shielder to have, though I did think about only giving it to him as a Ruler.

That's fair enough. I get the joke now.