LunarFate: The World's Wrath / LunarFate Zero

[Kirby]

Oh no, you can totally do this. But at this current state, the only person here who's gonna actually be interested will be Franco.

tl;dr listen to the other guys' advice

[Megas]

Franco, drop the terrible memes for just a second and be real with me.

But franco's existence is nothing but memes and bad jokes....

[Nuclear]

He will not end up betrayed by his Ideals and bad reviews like you!
He will become a hero of fanfics.

If you keep feeding his ego like that, he'll be a "hero of fanfics", all right... back on good ol' ffn.

[Megas]

Oh no, you can totally do this. But at this current state, the only person here who's gonna actually be interested will be Franco.

tl;dr listen to the other guys' advice

IDK dood, if lantz's threads have taught me anything, it's that being super bad can get you a crapton of attention

[Christemo]

But franco's existence is nothing but memes and bad jokes....

I dont know why I even bothered.

[Kirby]

It's less about Lantz's stuff being bad, but more about how much of a dick Lantz is about it.

[francobull3]

Still, if this man truly wants to write this, who are we to trample on something he would do as a hobby?
Who knows, he might be having fun writing the story, no matter how good or bad it will be.

[Megas]

Still, if this man truly wants to write this, who are we to trample on something he would do as a hobby?
Who knows, he might be having fun writing the story, no matter how good or bad it will be.

You know, he could just post it only on FFnet and not have to risk any of that.

[Nuclear]

Still, if this man truly wants to write this, who are we to trample on something he would do as a hobby?
Who knows, he might be having fun writing the story, no matter how good or bad it will be.

He knowingly posted it on this board. Naturally, we point out the flaws, he corrects them (which I don't think he bothers to do), et cetera.

[Christemo]

I mean all the power to him, but I am just of the opinion that if you have the space to improve, such as reading up on writing, taking a writing course or learning how to set up a story while respecting Nasu canon instead of writing a hopelessly awful fic, then why do it?

[Nuclear]

You're not gonna win this one, franco.

[Frostyvale]

I will note, firstly, that your characters feel very much like childish stereotypes.

Your villains are just card themed gangsters. This is literally out of Batman. It is not compelling.

Start with a simple premise, instead of pretension. You don't need to pretend that you're writing a television show. You're writing prose fanfiction.

Who is Akitsuki anyway?

It sounds like a corruption of

Akai Tsuki

朱い月

but then wouldn't you have just used the term "Crimson Moon"?

Why is Crimson Moon relevant anyway? If you're even including such a character, your story is on an incredibly large scale already. As in, don't write stories about the Crimson Moon unless your story already involves Arcueid, the DAA, and maybe probably the Aylesbury Ritual.

This story can be summarized by, "OCs beat up misrepresented Nasuverse antagonists and then dick around.". Nobody wants that.

I mean, if you wanted to appeal to Beast's Lair, you could just write a Prisma Illya Shirou/Sella lemon story.

[francobull3]

Mhh, you have a point.
Still, if he cannot handle negative criticism, he should not write in the first place, especially on the internet.

[You]

LunarFate Zero
By Christopher Hawthorne

Christopher Hawthorne is an American screenwriter and producer.

Hawthorne is best known for writing the screenplay for director Bob Balaban's surrealist horror-comedy Parents, starring Randy Quaid, Mary Beth Hurt, Bryan Madorsky and Sandy Dennis.

Hawthorne is also known for writing the made for cable television films The Courtyard, a thriller starring Andrew McCarthy, Mädchen Amick and Cheech Marin, the family film Whiskers with Michael Caloz and the mermaid themed Sea People starring Shawn Roberts and Hume Cronyn., which won the Writer's Guild of America Award for Best Children's Script.

It couldn't be, could it?

[Christemo]

Lmao

- - - Updated - - -

L mayo

[Nuclear]

I mean, if you wanted to appeal to Beast's Lair, you could just write a Prisma Illya Shirou/Sella lemon story.

Sadly, at this point in time, I bet that lemon turns into an orgy of OCs who can have multiple orgasms in the span of five minutes.

- - - Updated - - -

It couldn't be, could it?

It could, but Mr. Hawthorne apparently does not into Nasu lore and is making stuff up as he goes along.

[Rafflesiac]

Mhh, you have a point.
Still, if he cannot handle negative criticism, he should not write in the first place, especially on the internet.

Franco, that wasn't even the issue.

He submitted an idea, we pointed out the many, many flaws. He resubmitted the idea, we once again pointed out the many, many flaws and then you started babbling outdated memes while hugboxing him into wasting his time writing horribly instead of actively trying to improve.

What you're doing is advocating the equivalent of drunk driving "for the experience".

[Nuclear]

Franco, that wasn't even the issue.

He submitted an idea, we pointed out the many, many flaws. He resubmitted the idea, we once again pointed out the many, many flaws and then you started babbling outdated memes while hugboxing him into wasting his time writing horribly instead of actively trying to improve.

What you're doing is advocating the equivalent of drunk driving "for the experience".

Isn't franco always like this, though?

[Rafflesiac]

Isn't franco always like this, though?

Yes.

That post is the last I'm ever going to say about it.

[Kirby]

Except now it's actually harmful, as opposed to eye-rolling.