It seems balanced. The sirens did fuck over a lot of heroes, so the high rank of the siren call seems justified, at the same time it has enough weaknesses to stay balanced.Originally Posted by Cataquack Warrior
It seems balanced. The sirens did fuck over a lot of heroes, so the high rank of the siren call seems justified, at the same time it has enough weaknesses to stay balanced.
For the Sirens add the capability for them to be summoned with a human form at a cost of decreased stats, like Chirion from Fate/Apocrypha. The bird bodies would be to obvious and give away their identities, something that is really bad because of the ways to counter them.
Gave them the possibility of human form and added an extra picture for their human forms. How does it look now?
Not bad as an idea, Caster Poe.
Well, so I thought this 'Servant Creation thing" was interesting, and since I have been lurking around Beast's Lair for quite a bit, I thought maybe I should try my hand at this. (First post since registration, ahaha. . .)
So, please, do give me constructive comments where needed! Thank you!
Alright, I read this 'Zhuge Liang' profile earlier on, and felt that it didn't do this famous Chinese war strategist any justice. Thus, I am going to try my best in my version of his profile.
Servant Class: Caster (And only Caster, could not fit him into anything else.)
Alignment: Lawful Good
Heroic Spirit: Zhuge Liang 诸葛亮 (Or Zhuge Kongming 诸葛孔明)
Attachment 8141
Servant Parameters:
Strength: [E] (Having been a commander, he never took part in battle personally on the front lines, be it legend or historical context.)
Endurance: [E] (Having been a commander, he would have never trained himself for physical combat. At all.)
Agility: [E] (His physical agility is assumed to be bad on the basis that he was neither on the front lines/trained in fighting nor were any feats of agility shown.)
Mana: [C] (He was widely considered to be able to use magic in the legends, however, he never did really use magic. But, legends slowly distorted him and gave him the ability to use magic. Though, as it is not his main form of combat.)
Luck: [B] (His luck has proved him victorious in his strategies too.)
Class Skills:
Territory Creation: [B]
This form of territory creation differs from normal Caster-class servants' territory creation in that Zhuge Liang's territory creation creates neither workshop nor temple, for he does not require magic rituals nor does he directly cast magic offensively. This form of territory creation grants him the ability to create a 'ritual space' (not magic, but rather his skill in FengShui to summon natural elements that he needs) to perform his rituals and rites to call on natural phenomena or 'favourable battle conditions' (like there conveniently being a dammed river nearby, or flammable materials available, etc.). However, his territory creation takes time, though he can create his territory nigh-instantly in heat of battle if he already prepared the necessary rituals for it.
This ability is best likened to that of creating a workshop, though.
Item Creation: [D]
Capable of creating traps from materials like wood and metal. However, as he was never used to physical work, and this skill was bestowed to him as a class skill, and also a manifestation of his strategic prowess, his rank in this skill is pretty low for a Caster. Furthermore, he was only given ability to create things from magic due to his distorted legends giving him such powers, thus he is not proficient in this skill. At all.
Personal Skills:
Prodigy of the Millennium: [A]
Such an skill is only conferred to those who have shown great intellectual aptitude and has been universally recognized for being the pinnacle of geniuses during their time.
Generally considered by people of their time a genius among geniuses. He was praised by many famous people, including Sima Guang for his intellect, and that he even topped the best scholars of previous dynasties. So much of a genius, that even Liu Bei of the Shu Faction during the war made three trips just to make Caster his military adviser.
This skill grants the user great intellect surpassing most servants in the throne of heroes, leading to being able to strategically outmaneuver most servants.
Grants Rank [B] Eye of the Mind (True) and Rank [C] High Speed Divine Words.
Charisma: [C++]
Capable of leading his troops to victory. His troops would wholeheartedly put their faith into him during battles, and would agree with his decisions. Troop morale is also increased. Depending on whether allies under Caster know about his "Prodigy of the Millennium" personal skill, the effect of Charisma may be increased on them. (In which if they do know of his intellect, they will receive a higher boost in parameters during group fights.)
Innocent Monster: [E]
Granted the use of magic through his distorted legends. Increased his mana parameter by 2 ranks.
Military Tactics: [C+]
Conferred to him due to the incident at the battle of Red Cliff where he managed to gain 10 000 arrows from the enemy forces through a tactical bait. Also managed to cut off all routes for Cao Cao to pass through during his escape and predicted his movements and managed to abush the General of the Wei Faction 4 times in a row.
Noble Phantasms
Opening of the floodgates: Assault by flood [Rank C]
Category: Anti-Army
Maximum Number of Targets: 1 Battelion
This Noble Phantasm is a crystallisation of his famous water assault on the Wei Army in one of his victorious battles.
He creates a small reality marble where the enemy is trapped in a landscape with a small stream. The moment Zhuge Liang waves his fan as the signal for the dam to be broken down, the waters held back by the former dam burst open and drown the enemy within. This Noble Phantasm is a magic attack, thus servants with Magic Resist of Rank A would be able to ignore the water assault completely. However, other enemies would be completely washed away and drowned within the reality marble. This Noble Phantasm requires a set-up period of about a day before it can be summoned immediately.
Holding the fort with but one man: Empty Fort Strategy [Rank B]
Category: Defensive Noble Phantasm
Maximum Number of Targets: No Limit
This Noble Phantasm is a crystallisation of his famous Empty Fort Strategy, where he bluffed the enemy into a retreat in Chengshi by himself. While this Noble Phantasm is active, Caster gains Rank A luck, and an illusion of Caster sitting confidently within a fort sipping tea is observed by the enemy. Fearing a whole army might be awaiting the enemy to be baited into the fort and then ambush the enemy, enemies will immediately beat a hasty retreat. However, should the enemy have skills like Instinct or Eye of the Mind (False) or Eye of the Mind (True), a luck check will be held. If the enemy has higher luck than Caster, the enemy will see through the facade that Caster is putting up.
All is ready but one thing: Summoning of the Eastern Winds [N/A]
Category: Supportive Noble Phantasm
Maximum Number of Targets: Whole Battlefield
This Noble Phantasm is a crystallisation of the anecdote of Caster summoning the Eastern Winds that he lacks for the final decisive assault on Red Cliff. Setting up this Noble Phantasm takes two days of ritual preperation, and once completed, boosts the morale of all allies and increases their Endurance parameter by 1 rank as they become motivated to fight harder and persevere with a winning battle at hand. Caster gains the ability to use his final Noble Phantasm after casting this. Caster's own Mana and Endurance parameters are now raised C++. Also, enemy servents' morale are decreased and Endurance is reduced by one rank.
Final Assault on Red Cliff: Serpents of Flame below the Red Cliff [Rank B++]
Category: Anti-Army
Maximum Number of Targets: Whole Battlefield
A crystallisation of Caster's most famous battle. Caster creates a reality marble that envelops the area equivalent to a whole battlefield, as he stands upon the Red Cliff, admiring his impending assualt on the Wei Faction's huge sea combat battelion. Enemy servants are materiallised upon the Wei army's boats, facing their impending death by flame as countless fire ships crash into the huge ships that they are standing on, instantly setting fire upon the ships. As the ships burn, the fire spreads across the whole fleet of ships that were connected with wooden planks by Cao Cao's foolish decision. The ships eventually sink, and the enemy servants are left for dead to drown in the seas near Red Cliff.
As this attack is neither physical nor magical in nature, no resistance will stop this attack except for Endurance with Rank C and above (where the servant is able to withstand the flames and swim away) or with Luck Rank B or above (where the servant escapes unharmed, somehow).
Caster may only keep up the assault for an hour on full mana. This attack is inherently more powerful on servants with low affinity with flame.
Last edited by Ran-Rii; April 18th, 2013 at 07:11 PM.
Why not summon a caster?
I don't know the history of Cao Cao, Zhuge Liang & Co., but:
Unless Zhuge Liang managed to catch the arrows in mid-hair with his hands, that's not how protection from arrows works:
is an increased defense against ranged attacks by predicting the projectiles' trajectories through exceptional means, such as hearing the sound of air being cut, or sensing the killing intent of the enemy.
B: (an inborn ability of Cu Chulainn; as long as the shooter is within his line of sight, he can track down ranged weapons with his eyes and defend against them. Does not apply for attacks made from super-long-range or with a great area-of -effect)Charisma "is the natural talent to command an army. Increases the ability of allies during group battles." Not "how much of a bro the other sees you". Saber was barely understood by her knights and nobles, and she has B-rank. I'd say that in ranking this skill it doesn't really matter how fellow generals see you, but the effect you have on your troops.Charisma: [C-] (Rank reduction is due to Guan Yu and Zhang Fei initially hating him, because it is that charisma that leads to their envy of his talents as a strategist.)
And about the NPs: they're just a series of his most famous battles and battle strategies. Just merge them into one omni-comprehensive NP. But if have to say my opinion, the idea doesn't work. One example for all:
What allies? His master and who else?Setting up this Noble Phantasm takes two days of ritual preperation, and once completed, boosts the morale of all allies
Last edited by Sherrinford; April 18th, 2013 at 12:54 PM.
I don't think skills have to work the same way for everyone.
A skill is a skill and it describes how much proficient you are in that particular field.
In this case, PfA measures how good you are in foreseeing the trajectory of a projectile, not how good you are in tricking the enemy general in wasting his resources and at the same time giving you bonuses.
In this particular case, it makes even less sense: protection from arrows? Zhuge was never in danger, he just brought forward the fake ships while he was completely safe (in other words, they were aiming at the ships, not at him), and then retrieved the arrows after the shooting stopped. In other words, of course he was protected, he wasn't the target.
Last edited by Sherrinford; April 18th, 2013 at 01:46 PM.
Hm. . . makes sense. Thanks for the pointer, I'll go change it.
Perhaps it can be a personal skill or something, that makes objects his shields against projectiles.
Why not summon a caster?
You don't really need to make it a skill. As I noticed, this guy is a master of strategy. Just make up one skill or a NP that represents how good he was in controlling the flow of a battle, and that can be applied to various situations: you don't have any weapon with you? No problem, I can make up a strategy that would let the opponent discards his weapons; a servant can summon a whole army? Hey Master, did you notice how conveniently strategically placed this dam is?... etc. etc.
(At least that would be what I'do (but you're not me)).
Well... We DO know that some of the skills work differently for different people (though have the same ultimate results), Magic Resistance being a prime example of this. Though considering that MR is total hax probably makes it the exception rather than the rule.
I do agree with the "merge it all together" sentiment for this guy.
Honestly with the way things are worded I would go with making prodigy of the millenium into the NP, and then make up a faux mythological explanation of/for it (it says it "grants" the intellect, so maybe it is some sort of divine gift that was granted to him and he was otherwise normal, but it led to his fame and thus crystalized as an NP?), and then just shove everything else under its explanation.
I think I like what you did with Territory Creation, but I think it might just make more sense to make it a separate personal skill, and give him some token E or D rank in territory creation or something (he gets it from being summoned into the Caster servant container).
Then again nobody ever talks about my servants, so I probably just kinda suck at this (My saint Nicholas is still not listed in the OP T.T).
Servant shouldn't really have more than 2/3 NPs. Cu Chulainn had one that gave him 2. Saber had 1 that gave her 2(and arguably 3). Emiya has one. Gilgamesh has 2. Herakles has one. Medusa has 3. You get the point.
A Servant for a Grail War I'm (still) writing. His identity should be pretty obvious.
(Lancer fights fifth-war Archer)
Spoiler:
(I suppose Archer's smiling since he's fighting someone he hard-counters.)
Highlight for complete profile. The un-highlighted version is what a master with no knowledge of the Heroic Spirit's identity would get.
Heroic Spirit: Hector
Appearance: (still unsure)
Other titles: Prince of Troy, Tamer of Horses
Eligible Classes: Saber, Lancer, Rider
Gender: Male
Alignment: Lawful Good
Master: --- Myslbek
Statistics
Strength: B
Endurance: B
Agility: A
Mana: C
Luck: E (A)
Noble Phantasm: B
Class Skills
* Magic Resistance
Protection against Magecraft. Different from the Resistance of a Magus, which rejects Prana by cycling Od through the Magic Circuits, this skill cancels the spells altogether. It should be noted that the term "verse" refers to a set of three lines. Thus, a chant of two verses is equivalent to a Six-Line incantation.
Rank C: Spells with an incantation of two verses or less are annulled. This Servant was alive during the Age of the Gods, when Magecraft was far stronger, as well as having their innate Resistance boosted by their Class container. In addition, he also happens to possess a dislike for unfavorable omens, although its contribution to Magic Resistance is negligible.
* Riding
Ability to ride on and control vehicles and creatures. Dragons, however, may not be ridden; a separate skill is required to do so.
Rank B+: Most vehicles and beasts, bar those of Phantasmal Races and Dragons, can be handled expertly with no experience. Any Phantasmal Beings with horselike attributes, such as Pegasi, Unicorns, or even unique existences such as Sleipnir can be controlled. This Servant was known as Tamer of Horses in life.
Personal Skills
* Bravery
Ability to negate or reduce the effects of mental interference such as confusion, pressure, and fascination through strength of will.
Rank A (C): Mental interferences such as confusion, pressure, infatuation, and fascination are negated, and, if desired, a state of focus can be induced. However, due to his legend, an effect similar to that of Innocent Monster is triggered and the rank is effectively lowered to C.
* Charisma
Capacity to lead people. A rare skill that provides bonuses to allies.
Rank C+: Sufficient for the leader of a conglomerate of allied city-states. Allies instinctively know how to work with this Servant. If Lancer has Aristeia activated, then it receives a temporary doubling in rank. While the doubling modifier is activated, all allies receive the equivalent of Bravery (C) or a Rank-up to their existing Bravery, as well as the ability to retake one failed roll.
* Divine Protection
Signifies the favor of a higher existence(s). This skill may provide bonuses to LUCK or automatic saving throws in difficult situations.
Lancer was favored by Zeus. Four ranks up to LUCK are gained, and bonuses to Plaything of the Gods are activated.
* Plaything of the Gods
The representation of Divine wills controlling this Servant against their will in their legend. If a god blesses this Servant, the blessing also raises certain stats.
Fighting a Servant or Noble Phantasm with the Divinity Attribute lowers LCK to E. In Lancer's case, AGI and END parameters will be raised by one rank each, since a blessing is active.
Noble Phantasms
Aristeia ~ Burst of Glory
Rank: E~A++ / B
Classification: Anti-Treasure/Anti-Unit Noble Phantasm
Targets: 1 tangible Noble Phantasm/User
Normal form: n/a
Conditions: Owner must be dead/None
Activates on touch and Incantation
Hector killed Patroclus, Achilles' best friend, who was wearing his armor, and took it from him. This Noble Phantasm can manifest in one of two ways.
If Lancer slays another Heroic Spirit with a tangible Noble Phantasm, he may claim it as his own. This triggers the Aristeia's effects.
If Lancer chooses to activate the Armor of Achilles, (Aristeia is activated while no Enemy Noble Phantasm is available), he gains doubled Charisma. The Armor itself treats attacks as if they were one rank lower, although its neck contains a weak point.
Regardless of the way this Noble Phantasm is used, triggering it seals Lancer's Divine Protection and removes his bonuses from Plaything of the Gods, as well as draining his Prana to activate the stolen Noble Phantasm. Loss of bonuses, the LCK bonus in particular, is very risky, but is partially compensated for by a Rank-up to STR and AGI until Lancer is beaten in battle or he discards/breaks the Noble Phantasm he has appropriated.
Whenever this Noble Phantasm is used, a storm begins to form.
Keravnos ~ Thunderbolt
Rank: B
Classification: Anti-Unit Noble Phantasm
Targets: 1
Normal form: n/a
Electricity-gathering effect activates on invocation. This Noble Phantasm is closer to a skill, so the technique itself requires no incantation or invocation to utilize.
(The evolution of Hector's Noble Phantasms made by Cyber Angel and Master of Chaos)
A technique rather than a unique weapon, symbolizing Lancer's legendary skill with the javelin and his favor from Zeus.
On activation, the spear Lancer holds is temporarily made perfectly aerodynamic; it holds the concept of "immune to non-divine redirection", and, as such will go exactly where he aims it. Ambient electricity can be channeled into the arm (in the form of a lightning strike, if a storm is available). If no ambient electricity is available, Lancer's Prana will be converted into electricity and used to power this technique.
Lancer's arm channels electricity in parallel currents. Since the spearhead is made of metal, he can magnetize it to amplify its speed past the speed of sound, creating a deadly and incredibly precise projectile. A high amount of skill is required to use it successfully. While it does possess some destructive power, the true strength of this technique lies in its ability to pierce nearly any defense, due to the amount of energy concentrated on one small point. It should be considered more like a scalpel than a sledgehammer.
Immense concentration is required to use this technique. If Lancer's focus is not perfect, he runs the risk of the lightning going out of control.
This Noble Phantasm is the best suited to Lancer, since it is a crystallization of his own deeds and skill, rather than a theft of some other hero's weapon.
Last edited by Asdfghl; April 18th, 2013 at 11:30 PM. Reason: Too many spaces.
No they don't. MR is:
... and this is what it does. That's it. Sure, there are different ranks and levels that defines the limits of protection (at rank C it cancels spells with a chant below two verses. at rank B it cancels spells with a chant below three verses and so on). but that's what MR is. It's not the effect of Rule Breaker, it's not the ability to break magical artifacts or any other weird interpretations.protection against magical effects. Differently from the Resistance effect that merely rejects prana, this ability cancels the spells altogether. Important to note that the term "verse" seen below refers to a set of three lines. Thus, a chant of two verses is equivalent to a Six-Line incantation.
P.S: the OP hasn't been updated in awhile anyway, so...
@Hector:
Ironically enough, Hector is a guy I can't really see as a HS. I mean, it's not like he sucked, but... he doesn't exactly shines in the war. He's constantly pwned by every other Greek hero. Also because:
More like he doesn't have Bravery at all. He started running around Troy until Athena was embarrassed enough to personally step in and end it. Although now that I read it, wikipedia actually describes the scene as a smart move of Hector, that thus managed to escape the arrows of the Greek warrior because he "was Achilles' prey".Bravery Rank A (C): However, due to his legend, an effect similar to that of Innocent Monster is triggered and the rank is effectively lowered to C.
But I admit this is just my opinion of him.
(Also, I think I've already seen an Hector profile with a thunderbolt spear.)
Sorry to deviate from the past few posts, but if I were to stat a dullahan/Headless Horseman, would it make more sense for the part of the legend that "all locks and gates fly open" to be a Noble Phantasm or a skill?
Mmmmh it depends on what you're planning. It could be a part/effect of his NP (among other effects), since it's more of a magical ability than a skill he uses. Like, "when he invokes his NP, no barrier or defense can stop him".
Or it could be a skill: "thanks to this skill at this rank, every defense or barrier that hasn't enough magic backing it up cannot stop him/will burst open at his passage".
Interesting idea, btw.
If it's just, like, "can open locked doors" and that's it, make it a skill. If it's some conceptual bullshit where he can bypass any lock or barrier, real or metaphorical, make it an NP.
Last edited by Mcjon01; April 19th, 2013 at 12:24 PM.
Well, it has to be conceptual/magical. I can't picture the Horseman picking locks.
(only to find out that the opponent master/servant was right behind the door all the time)
Well of course, the point of the skill would be doing it without having to physically unlock it. With "conceptual" I was drawing the distinction between that and, I dunno, getting people to trust you implicitly just because "opening your heart" is an idiom that exists. As an example.
I see. Btw:
Now I'm picturing rib cages exploding and hearts bursting out at the Horseman's passing."opening your heart"
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