Create-a-Servant

[Arashi_Leonhart]

Just ignore them. Fanfic writers sometimes get it in their heads that they're no longer writing fan fiction.

Well no, he's the one that has skewed ideas of "main character tier" if you know some of his posts.

He and anyone else is free to post anything overwanked, but as per posting it to a community with any number of opinions, he'd better be receptive to getting criticism.

[mewarmo990]

Well no, he's the one that has skewed ideas of "main character tier" if you know some of his posts.

He and anyone else is free to post anything overwanked, but as per posting it to a community with any number of opinions, he'd better be receptive to getting criticism.

ok, but the vast majority of criticism is usually about as valid as the overwanked fics anyway

People who haven't

seen an elephant

read a story

writing fanfics about that story, being criticized in authoritative tones by other people who also haven't read the story.

EDIT: don't get me wrong, I like stories about elephants. elephants are nice mammals

[You]

Rather than hints, it's outright mentioned in CCC. And maybe FGO but I don't remember.

you were the one in who said that Roman might have be using it to mean "seat of a god" as in, "maybe the person living in the shaped isle fell from their seat of a god"
and that opened up the idea that there wasn't a throne of gods, but that term was just something general.

[Crying]

"You" the user corrected the rest of what you said but I just wanted to add

They wanted him to subjugate the humans on their behalf to maintain their power. Instead, he did the literal opposite.

Then they made Enkidu to do the same thing to Gil. Instead, they became BFFs. He interprets "connect humanity to gods" as "help humanity reach the power/realm of gods on their own".

So I didn't get it wrong so much as I... said it weirdly?

Rather than hints, it's outright mentioned in CCC. And maybe FGO but I don't remember.

Huh.. I've played CCC so I don't know how I missed/forgot that. Though if it's said in F/GO than maybe I'll be reading it soon, since I decided that I might as well actually play beyond the first few 'levels' before making a final judgement on it.

Just ignore them. Fanfic writers sometimes get it in their heads that they're no longer writing fan fiction.

Well, this is less "he's making an El Cid Servant" and more "he wrote a story that had an extremely overpowered 'El Cid' in it and now he tried to turn that 'El Cid' into a Servant."

At least I think that's what happened. I don't know, I put AsGryffyn onto my Ignore list way back when they said they were incapable of making 'weak' characters. I knew I wouldn't like anything from them.

[mewarmo990]

you were the one in who said that Roman might have be using it to mean "seat of a god" as in, "such and such fell from their seat from a god"
and that opened up the idea that there wasn't a throne of gods, but that term was just something general.

ah right.

That was before I saw the bit in CCC though, so I really don't know which one it is.

[You]

ah right.

That was before I saw the bit in CCC though, so I really don't know which one it is.

that bit in CCC doesn't say there's a throne of gods though. Isn't Gilgamesh saying something someone reaching the 神の座? So that could also been taken to mean "reaching the seat of a god." As in having that position.

[mewarmo990]

that bit in CCC doesn't say there's a throne of gods though. Isn't Gilgamesh saying something someone reaching the 神の座? So that could also been taken to mean "reaching the seat of a god." As in having that position.

no, I mean, when I saw 神の座 in CCC, I thought oh maybe it isn't general, but an actual place.

But like, that was a few screenshots I saw from talking to my friend who was playing. So it'd be better if I 100%'d the whole thing and talked about it.

[Lily Emilio]

AUO said: [。。。] 人類史において、神殺しは王の責務。神の座に就くものが相手ならば、我が出ぬ訳にはいくまいよ。

Yeah he didn't outright say that "throne of god exist" but he either mean that this boss we're about to fight already reached so godly level or literally is a god at that point with all the power she got.

[You]

AUO said: [。。。] 人類史において、神殺しは王の責務。神の座に就くものが相手ならば、我が出ぬ訳にはいくまいよ。

Yeah he didn't outright say that "throne of god exist" but he either mean that this boss we're about to fight already reached so godly level or literally is a god at that point with all the power she got.

right and in extra mats

ＣＣＣの真ルートで変生《へんじょう》したある人物はこの域に達しながら、些細なミスによって神の座から転 落した。

which can be taken like that as well.
So it's possible there's a location called The Throne of Gods. And when you ascend to that level you get to go onto it.
Or you it's possible when you ascend it's just called ascending to a 神の座.
We haven't gotten a definition for 神の座.

[Bird of Hermes]

Anyways Crying I completely missed your Baldwin earlier. So here is some commentary.

Normally I would say the Endurance stat is far too low but then I remembered Okita's parameters. And then there's his deal with Leprosy (which I like what you have done with it, so nice job there). His skills suit his theme quite well. Redintegro is needed as the constant regeneration helps balance out the Endurance stat. True Cross is quite flavourful although the requirements to use it holds it back, which is accurate. King’s Blind March is a nice and creative twist on the typical army summon.

All around, very good job.

[Crying]

Thanks Bird.
Or should I refer to you as Hermes?

Anyway, looking at my list of Servants, I'm missing Lancers so I'll probably make of those next.

[Bird of Hermes]

Thats fine, I don't really mind either way. Looking at my list I made more Lancers than any other so I think I'm compensating for you.

[Snow]

ok, but the vast majority of criticism is usually about as valid as the overwanked fics anyway

People who haven't

seen an elephant

read a story

writing fanfics about that story, being criticized in authoritative tones by other people who also haven't read the story.

EDIT: don't get me wrong, I like stories about elephants. elephants are nice mammals

Which 'story' are you referring to?

And yeah isn't this entire thread dedicated to people getting criticism from other people because they want to make a somewhat canon compliant product?

[Nuclear]

And yeah isn't this entire thread dedicated to people getting criticism from other people because they want to make a somewhat canon compliant product?

It's more or less a circlejerk consisting of five or six people, with a few guests here and there.

[Snow]

It's more or less a circlejerk consisting of five or six people, with a few guests here and there.

That's the way the thread is then.

And by posting in it that's what you're getting yourself into.

[LJ3]

It's more or less a circlejerk consisting of five or six people, with a few guests here and there.

This place really went to the dogs.

[Erlking]

Status
Class: Assassin
True Name: Peter Stump
Title: Werewolf Of Bedburg
Alignment: Chaotic Evil
Sphere of Influence: Germany


Appearance
A calm and relatively attractive twenty five year old man, he has short brown hair, brown eyes, a fairly muscular build as is fitting of a farmer, and all in all is just oh so very bland. He's the type of man that one's eyes would just slide over in a crowd, not ugly, not overly handsome, just average. All that truly stands out about him is a missing left hand, with only a stump remaining where it should be.


Attributes
Strength: D (B+)
Agility: C (A)
Endurance: D (B)
Mana: B+
Luck: C
Noble Phantasm: C


Class Skills
Presence Concealment (A)
It is possible to disappear completely and become almost impossible to be detected. However, efficiency will decrease once preparations to attack are taken.


Personal Skills
Murderer of the Misty Night(A)
A skill associated with the Servant's nature as a serial killer rather than as an Assassin, which permits preemptive strike against all opponents. However, unconditional success of the skill is possible only at night. Requires a successful Luck Check for use during daytime.


Black Magic (B)
A blasphemous type of magecraft, heavily frowned upon by the church, it revolves around necromancy, luck, curses and other such malicious magic. It is particularly effective against Church Sacraments, but in turn the church is often experienced in how to identify or counter it. Many of the practitioners claim their skill to have originated with the devil himself, be it through teachings, inspirations, or sponsorship.


Mental Pollution (C)
A skill that makes it highly possible to shut out any mental interference Thaumaturgy, due to possessing a distorted mentality. However, at the same time it becomes impossible to come to an understanding with individuals that do not possess an equivalent rank of mental pollution.


Noble Phantasm
Griswold
The Big Bad Wolf
C+
Anti-Unit(Self)
A leather belt, unassuming and simple, that gives the wearer the ability to become a great and terrible wolf. With eyes like fire in the night and claws sharp as knives. In this form his physical Stats rise massively, becoming B Strength, A Agility, and B Endurance, at the cost of a constant and heavy mana drain. He becomes strong enough and fast enough to take on even one of the knight classes as he rampages around to sate his hunger. His bite induces madness and loyalty into his victims and his claws drain away their mana and strength into him. The few beings that do escape him, come away crazed and weakened, more likely to cover for him or even aid him then they are to try and kill him. Of course, this effect is drastically lowered against most Servants. Under optimal conditions, he can halve a Servant's Mana and Strength stat, and in doing so doubling his own.

[RoydGolden]

Who the heck is this guy?

If you're not going to give him a Lore section then you should at least add bits of his lore in his Skill descriptions (really, you should that anyway for flavor's sake).

[Arashi_Leonhart]

Who the heck is this guy?

Google exists

[AvengerEmiya]

Faceclaim

---Caster---
- Michelangelo -
Alignment: True Neutral
====================
Strength: E
Endurance: E
Agility: C
Mana: A
Luck: B
Noble Phantasm: A+
====================

Character details

Likes: The smell of marble
Dislikes: Interruptions, People who do nothing but dream
Talents: Developing new ways finish his work
Natural Enemy: Leonardo da Vinci

Class Skills \
~ Item Construction: [A]
Denotes a Servant's skill at manufacturing magical items. When it comes to "crafting" Caster's skill is second to none. So long as he has the proper materials at hand, there is nothing he cannot chisel and refine.

~ Territory Creation: [B]
A Servant's skill at constructing advantageous terrain for themselves. At B-rank, it is possible for a Servant to build a workshop. Though in Caster's case, a special quarry can be constructed instead. If laid atop leylines, Caster can use them to infuse aether into the quarry and make unique "black marble." This marble is especially high quality, and able to withstand even B-rank attacks without shattering.

After chiseling and refining the marble into cubes, Caster can bring out up to four of them at once - each half a meter in width and height - whenever he wishes. The cubes can take the shape of anything he wishes: swords, lancers, human appendages, the heads of animals, etc. They can also combine together, forming a 2-meter tall cube of black marble for Caster to shape.


Personal Skills \
~ Renaissance Man: [EX]
During his lifetime, Caster was known as the "archetypal Renaissance Man." He only finished a handful of what he would call masterpieces, but their lasting impact, the mastery he had over his craft, and the versatility he showed in each of the disciplines he practiced has caused his name to become synonymous with the word "artist."

This skill grants him equivalent ranks in [Pioneer of the Stars] and [Innovation], but with one severe downside: anyone he meets, Master or Servant, will immediately know his true name.

~ Bizzarro e Fantastico: [---]
Like many premiere artists of the Italian Renaissance, Caster was a notorious eccentric. He, however, lacked the charisma many of his fellow artists seemed to possess. He regularly dismissed his assistants, took very few students across his lengthy lifetime, and seemed to take offense whenever anyone complimented his art (especially his paintings). It reached the point that his peers labeled him as "one who was withdrawn from other men," and is that quality that this skill manifests from.

Unless a Luck check is passed, any [Anti-Unit] Noble Phantasms that target Caster will always fail when used against him.


Noble Phantasms \
Il Divino -Judgement From the Divine One!-
[Anti-Unit] A+++ (Range: EX Target: 1 Person)
Immortal are his works and eternal is his name. Michelangelo was known as the "Divine One" when he was alive, his pieces touching the hearts of every Pope who lived to witness him work. This Noble Phantasm is a culmination of not only Michelangelo's art, but his status as a premiere figure during the peak of western civilization's greatest artistic golden age.

At the expense of most of the black marble in his quarry, Michelangelo calls forth a naked statue of himself, which, unlike him, appears as a full-grown adult. While it is active, this statue is recognized as not only an effigy of Michelangelo, but as a Heroic Spirit in its own right, with its own stats, B-ranks in both [Divinity] and [Magic Resistance​], and a unique skill to all to itself called:
=============
~ Terribilità: [EX]
A sense of awe-inspiring grandeur, awesomeness and emotional intensity of conception and execution for a work of art, and a quality that was attributed to Michelangelo. Its effect is similar to that of Marble Phantasm, connecting to nature and altering reality, only the one materializing the visions is not Il Divino, but whoever it is fighting.

Its powers fluctuates depending on its opponents' interpretations of it. If they fear Il Divino it will grow monstrous in stature by several meters. If they believe it is infallible, even Noble Phantasms will not be able to chip at his marble flesh. If they believe he is truly divine, his Divinity will continue to gain ranks. If its opponent see it as nothing but a walking piece of art, Terribilità will not activate, but the statue will still retain its strength and durability, which are both on par with that of a Servant's.
=============

There is one very sore issue concerning this Noble Phantasm.

Being recognized as both a Heroic Spirit and a divine being, there is a chance Il Divino may develop a soul while, and begin to think of itself as a legitimate Heroic Spirit. In which case, it may rebel against Michelangelo's orders and try to attain the Holy Grail for itself. A bit problematic compared to most other Noble Phantasms. Though, should it rebel, it will likely avoid direct engagement with its creator, for it is aware that its Terribilità will have no influence. There is nobody in the world he looks down on Michelangelo's work as much as he himself does, and he will not not twice about destroying a creation that does not meet his standards.

Lore

Caster's true identity is "Michelangelo di Lodovico Buonarroti Simoni," one of greatest artists and the greatest sculptor of his time, and a member of the High Renaissance's Trinity, alongside Leonardo da Vinci and Raphael.

As early as the age of six, Michelangelo developed a passionate love for marble, and taught himself the fundamentals of handling a chisel and hammer by making small figures. At the age of thirteen he became apprenticed to premiere artist Domenico Ghirlandaio, who possessed the largest workshop in Florence at the time. Within the following year he became a paid artist under him, as well as Ghirlandaio's star pupil. By the time he was eighteen, Michelangelo had already sculpted numerous masterpieces including the Madonna of the Steps, the Battle of the Centaurs, and a greater than life-sized sculpture of Hercules. By the time he was twenty-four, he had finished the Pietà. By twenty-six, he had taken on and finished the four decade old commision for the Statue of David. By this time, his name had already reached the furthest corner of artistic influence in Italy, having garnered the eyes of both the House of Medici and the Pope. Michelangelo had already become a legend.

Though, there was another artist whose reputation rivaled his own, and who he had little tolerance for. They called him the "dreamer." They called him the "True Renaissance Man." Personally, Michelangelo preferred the name "Horse-modeller" when referring to Leonardo da Vinci.

It's unknown exactly "why" the two held such a rivalry. It's contested that on their first meeting when Michelangelo was fourteen and studying sculpture at the Medici gardens, da Vinci had admonished the youth and his studies. Perhaps it stemmed from the time da Vinci criticized his contemporaries rendition of the the Battle of Cascina. It's also said that Michelangelo routinely insulted da Vinci for his procrastination (which Michelangelo himself won't deny). Though, onlookers would say the rivalry was quite one-sided, with the younger artist often being the instigator (again, which Michelangelo won't deny).

You could say that Michelangelo's antagonism stems from da Vinci's outlook and behavior. He was a free spirit who's disciplines extended far beyond art itself, and into the realms of science, mathematics, writing, inventing, magecraft, magic theory and so on. He was a person who took on many requests from patrons and friends, yet had to often be reminded of his promises, for his hobbies and myriad of half-realized dreams came before everything else.

Michelangelo was no such restless soul. He was always preoccupied with some prominent person's, house's or guild's commission, even when it meant his own projects had to be left at the wayside. How many years had he wasted in quarries, trying to gather marble for requests only to have them cancelled before the real work even began? How many sculptures and paintings were left unaccepted and then given away because their original commissioner changed their minds? How many roads did Michelangelo personally construct just so he could accomplish his work successfully?

Though they were both "Men of the Renaissance," they lived their lives as polar opposites. One as a man who, throughout his life, tried to realize as many of his dreams as possible, while the other a man whose life seemed dedicated to realizing the others' dreams.

...Hmm? Why does Michelangelo look so young despite his peak being around his early to mid-twenties? A good question. Perhaps it aligns with how a "certain someone" viewed him while they were still alive.

But really, who knows?