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Thread: Create-A-Servant 2

  1. #6501
    Time to burn some dread Daneel Rush's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RoydGolden View Post
    I'm not familiar with most of those sources.
    Thank you for proving my point.

    And at least I didn't give him stuff that has fuck all to do with his legend as NPs like the canon not!Benkei.
    You made up an entire Servant Class yet one of his NPs in based on an event from from his time as a vagrant, when he wasn't yet Yoshitsune's retainer. Isn't that strange to you?

    Also, FGO Benkei's NP makes sense if you conclude it is Hitachibou Kaison's NP, not Benkei's.

    You don't think you're setting really high standards for everyone else's sheets do you? Sorry but not all sheets necessarily have to be a thesis on the heroic spirit in question, I only remember there being rules against "boring army-summoning NPs".
    Like I've said a number of times, anybody can come up with chuuni powers and chuuni names and a bunch of letters for ranks. What matters is that the Servant tells a great story. And if somebody aims to create a Servant Saito no Musashibou Benkei, to the point of granting him his own original Servant Class, is it too much to acknowledge that Benkei's virtue as Yoshitsune's retainer comes not only from his last stand at Koromogawa, but from all the acts of loyalty he did before?

    If anything, Royd's Benkei feels more like a Shielder. Except for that first NP. That just doesn't belong there.
    Last edited by Daneel Rush; June 24th, 2017 at 12:08 PM.

  2. #6502
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sherlock1110 View Post
    You don't think you're setting really high standards for everyone else's sheets do you? Sorry but not all sheets necessarily have to be a thesis on the heroic spirit in question, I only remember there being rules against "boring army-summoning NPs".
    His are really good, but I don't think you can expect everyone to reach that same standard (Daneel actually has a university degree in Mesopotamian myth, I reckon). In general, I'd say I'm probably better at fleshing out small amounts of information then integrating larger amounts from research and the like. (Look at how much I created from a very sparse concept for my Pallas sheet, for instance #shameless self promotion)

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by Daneel Rush View Post
    Thank you for proving my point.
    You're welcome.


    Quote Originally Posted by Daneel Rush View Post
    You made up an entire Servant Class yet one of his NPs in based on an event from from his time as a vagrant, when he wasn't yet Yoshitsune's retainer. Isn't that strange to you?
    I feel the concept of guarding a particular place or person is similar enough for it to work. And you could easily justify it by saying it was the legend that began his service to Yoshitsune...


    Quote Originally Posted by Daneel Rush View Post
    Also, FGO Benkei's NP makes sense if you conclude it is Hitachibou Kaison's NP, not Benkei's.
    Wasn't Kaison just some random dude who did fuck-all in the legend and then ran away like a coward? Why should he have a "splitting into clones" NP?

  3. #6503
    夜魔 Nightmare sherlock1110's Avatar
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    I was thinking about the first NP actually as I did previously bring that up, in what I'd think was a less condescending tone. I assume that the only rationale for including it in the very disappointing Benkei sheet would be that it is a weaker version of one that would be in superior Daneel vagrant Benkei sheet... Although my ideas for that are just as bad as my own sheets, sorry.
    Quote Originally Posted by Daneel Rush View Post
    Summer Events: Deepest Lore.
    These are my Servant and Master sheets I hope you enjoy reading them:
    Servant And Master Sheets

  4. #6504
    Time to burn some dread Daneel Rush's Avatar
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    Well sherlock, I'm not gonna apologize for stating my belief that something is bad.

    I feel the concept of guarding a particular place or person is similar enough for it to work. And you could easily justify it by saying it was the legend that began his service to Yoshitsune...
    Sure, go for that if it makes you happy. I don't like it myself, but that's not what matters.

    Wasn't Kaison just some random dude who did fuck-all in the legend and then ran away like a coward? Why should he have a "splitting into clones" NP?
    Yes, and according to the legend, his regret led him to seek enlightenment and immortality so that he could narrate the tale of Yoshitsune and Benkei for eternity. He supposedly managed to live 400 years. His NP summons the arhats in their procession towards enlightenment; we are meant to assume he was once part of one such procession.

  5. #6505
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Daneel Rush View Post
    Yes, and according to the legend, his regret led him to seek enlightenment and immortality so that he could narrate the tale of Yoshitsune and Benkei for eternity. He supposedly managed to live 400 years. His NP summons the arhats in their procession towards enlightenment; we are meant to assume he was once part of one such procession.
    I was thinking of his Benkei Butsu actually, unless that's been scrapped in Grand Order?

    And is the Kaison seeking atonement by narrating Benkei's tale an actual part of his legend or just something TM made up? Far as I can tell, there isn't even a wiki article on the guy so I can't really check...

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by Daneel Rush View Post
    If anything, Royd's Benkei feels more like a Shielder. Except for that first NP. That just doesn't belong there.
    He's not a Shielder because, erm, he doesn't have a shield... That said, "Retainer" was clearly intended as a similar defensively oriented Class...

  6. #6506
    Time to burn some dread Daneel Rush's Avatar
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    The 3 NPs in Complete Materials IV reflect Hitachibou Kaison's mindset as an imperfectly enlightened Buddhist, even Eighth Implement, despite being based on Benkei's feats with armaments.

    The Kaison legend is real. The only addition by TM was Kaison usurping Benkei's identity. Also, Kaison does have a wikipedia page.

    And now that I noticed, no, I do not have any degree in anything remotely close to Mesopotamian myth. I'd probably be poorer than I already am if I had picked such a career path.

  7. #6507
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors Asunder's Avatar
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    This doesn't completely fit the thread but ever since I learnt that Hundred-Face Hassan's bond ce mentions all of his 88 specializations, I've been interesting figuring out just what they could mean.
    Here's the text.
    Base. Remarkable Ability. Swift. Crafty. Accumulation. Suture. Shadow Cloak. Silence.
    Freighter. Eloquence. Coiling Wind. Speedy Tail. Misrepresentation. Serenity. Judgement. Supplication.
    Lubricator. Festive Fumes. Devilish Blade-User. Undercover. Geology. Strange. Addendum. Far Sight.
    Hellfire. Thunderclap. Fragrant Serpent. Mathematics. Bewitching Beauty. Dew Coating. Balanced Diet. Transmural Finger.
    Mounted Offense. Projection. Copying. Admonishment. Windy Bow. Persuasion. Defiled Mire. Mixture.
    Shady Pipe. Cession. Drapery. Celestial Bodies. Gourmet Food. Ringcraft. Herbalist. Immorality.
    Moonlight. Insect Feed. Unlocking. Oblivion. Achromatic. Scheme-Follower. Foretaste. Cultivating Talents.
    Iron Cord. Asphyxiation. Archeology. Providence. Pilfering Bones. Worship. Light-Footed. Double Forbearance.
    The Sun. Investigation. Hygiene. Thousand Miles. Puppetry. Reverberation. Folk Song. Long Blade.
    Incognito. Molding. Accession. Face Powder. Strange Technique. Neighbour. Ship. Perishing Traces.
    Curtailed & Detached. Deserted Weed. Polishing. Will To Diagnose. Narrow Area. Macular. Drinking Rainwater. Chalk.

    These 88 close strangers.
    Eventually I will know about the ones who will assume the remaining seats.
    Some of them are obvious like Base and Swift while others like 'Chalk' and 'Transmural Finger' just make me go 'what?'. I like to think that Hellfire and Thunderclap are a type of item creation that lets Hassan make primitive sound grenades and firebombs while the Sun is the charismatic Hassan that can speak really well and convince people to follow him.

    Would it be cool to post my theories here for feedback? And do you guys have any other ideas on what they could mean?

  8. #6508
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Asunder View Post
    Lubricator.
    ...I think I'd rather not know what this guy's ability would be.

  9. #6509
    So Many Ideas, So Little Time SleepMode's Avatar
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    (This Servant is based after a Chuanqi (Marvelous Tale) from the Tang Dynasty, so it’s bound to get a little ridiculous.)

    “…Me? A hero? Fufufu, Pei Xing always did give me more credit than I deserve; I’m just a killer, nothing more.”



    Servant Class: Assassin

    True Name: Nie Yinniang, Unseen Slayer of Sinners

    Place of Origin: China (Literature)

    Alignment: True Neutral

    Attribute: Earth

    Alternate Classes: Saber, Caster

    Catalyst: An extremely worn-out bronze shortsword, around 6 inches in length

    Likes: Helping people(tries to), Wise bosses, A decent pay

    Dislikes: The “Sins of Man,” Beliefs, Camping

    Talents: Swordfighting, Martial arts, Divergent thinking

    Natural Enemy: Cheng Jiaxin, EMIYA(Assassin), ...Jaguarman?

    Parameters:

    Strength - C
    Endurance - D
    Agility - A+
    Mana - C
    Luck - B
    N.
    Phantasm - C

    Background

    Nie Yinniang, the infamous Hidden Lady, was a Chinese assassin and heroine of Pei Xing's Chuanqi, famous for her skills in both sword and sorcery. Once whisked away at the age of twelve, she spent five years training under a nun in the arts of combat and assassination. Aside from the killings of numerous officials and brigands, she was responsible for the protection of the general Liu Changyi from countless assassins. Claimed to be the first female wuxia to be recorded in literature, she was essentially the one who started the trend of Chivalrous Warriors in Chinese literature.

    But like Holmes and Jekyll, even this these tales had elements of truth within.

    Born in a family of alchemists, Yinniang was the 8th heir to the Nie family, who were known for their expertise in both Internal and External Alchemy. Like all Chinese magi back then, the family sought to recreate the fabled Elixir of Life, which was said to grant immortality. Because of this, Yinniang was confined to the walls of her house learning her family's formulas from day to night. Despite having great talent in magecraft and superb resistance against poisons, the heir was abysmal in terms of the alchemical arts. Unfortunately, she's the only one in the family even remotely capable, as her siblings were all to weak to continue the family line.

    One day, a nun came by, begging for alms. Upon taking a keen interest in the young Yinniang, the nun asked the Nie patriarch if she could take Yinniang in as an disciple. Insulted, Yianniang’s father refused and reprimanded her. However, the nun threatened:

    “Even if you put her in an iron cell, I will still take her away.” Her words rang true, as Yianniang and the nun disappeared the next day.

    Finding herself in a mountain range, the young Yinniang realized that the nun was Cheng Jiaxin, a legendary noble/swordfighter who disappeared during the An Lushan Rebellion. Determined to not let the Nie heir’s potential go to waste, Jiaxin trained Yinniang to carry her legacy. And so for five years, Yinniang trained under her mentor.

    For the first two years, the Nie heir was forced to survive the wilds alone, armed with only a simple bronze sword. While this may seem harsh, this was all according to Jiaxin’s plan; with the stress and fear from fending off wild beasts and harsh elements day and night, it will surely unlock her Origin. Sure enough, this trial was proven successful, as Yinniang came to trigger her Origin: Deviation. Since unlocking her Origin, Yinniang spent the next year properly training with Jiaxin in both sword fighting and all three styles of Jiao Di. However, instead of just proper duels, the Nie heir honed her martial arts by combatting against tigers and leopards. In Yinniang’s third year, she was trained in a multitude of different types of magecraft; Divination, Shenfu-craft and Wuxing to name a few.

    During the last two years, the purpose behind her training was revealed to Yinniang: to continue her mentor’s path as the assassin of authority. As such, Yinniang was put to the test by assassinating corrupt officials. Each target was killed with extreme efficiency and stealth, whether in broad daylight or in pitch-dark. Throughout her tasks, Jiaxin always told her that while all sins are grave, causing suffering to the populace is the worst sin of all; and to cleanse the sin and corruption from this country, they must all be killed. Initially, Yinniang took this philosophy to heart; but after an incident regarding one of her targets, a rift between disciple and mentor appeared. At the end of the five years, Yinniang left in disgust - wanting nothing to do with her mentor and her twisted ideals.

    Upon returning to her family, the father rejoiced; since she returned, the pursuit of the Elixir was still possible. Initially, Yinniang refused to disclose her training but eventually disclosed when the father persisted. After recounting her training, her father began to distance himself in fear. Yinniang’s father gradually became distant and fearful of his daughter due to her imposing nature; as the Nie family lived to prolong life, not to snuff it. Eventually, it led to the father exiling Yinniang when she declared to marry a simple mirror polisher. Years later, the Nie patriarch began to fall ill from long years of experimentation; realizing this, Yinniang returned to her old home and demanded her father to pass on the family’s Magic Crest onto her. Reluctantly, her father relented. Although Yinniang only recovered 40% of the family crest before her father passed away, it was more than enough.

    After her father’s death, the Commander of Wei, who was impressed with Yinniang’s skills, suddenly employed her. For fourteen years, Yinniang served as one of the Commander’s officer and assassin. But after a failed attempt to kill the general Liu Changyi, Yinniang defected to her mark’s side to repay his mercy. Leaving behind her assassin life, Yinniang donned her new position as a bodyguard. Afterwards, countless assassins were sent after both Changyi and Yinniang. But with a combination of insight and magecraft, none were successful in taking their lives. Eventually, Yinniang and her husband parted ways with the general, for the duo planned to visit various sages to improve their craft.

    Yinniang was last seen fifty years later, confronting Changyi’s descendant Liu Zong. Warning him that certain death will come within a year, Yianniang recommends him to leave for his hometown to avoid death. However, the youth failed heed her directions, and died exactly one year afterwards. Since then, Yinniang disappeared soon after; some said that she continued her tradition to train other aspiring females in the art of killing, while some believed that she retreated to a secluded shrine and spent the last of her days as a sage.


    Personal Traits

    The repressed part of Yinniang, which embodies the efficient yet unpredictable assassin that abandoned both her family and mentor.
    Full in both dry humor and wit, Yinniang is hardly what one would expect from one who killed hundreds of people. Black comedy aplenty, she'll often crack some sort of joke that has something to do with the current situation. Although they aren't guaranteed to be in good taste, to say at the least. She claims that they're made in good spirits, although whether it's true is debatable. At first, this will cause some people to mistake her to be irresponsible, not caring of the situation at hand. Well, they're not wrong, as this is how she acts during her off-time.

    Once on the battlefield, her disposition completely changes. A professional in every sense of the word, Yinniang will accomplish her tasks without fail. If there are complications, she will work around it. Even when things become seemingly impossible, Yinniang will make the impossible possible - as her Origin dictates, that is. One thing is certain, however; her targets will be killed, one way or another.

    At this point in her life, killing is almost a daily job for her, leaving as quickly as she appeared. Although civilian casualties are kept at a minimum, anyone even remotely affiliated with the target will be taken cared of should they get in the way. Although it can be mistaken that Yinniang is suppressing her emotions - the truth is that she simply stopped caring. Call this inhuman, but this is simply the mindset shared by many Magi; accomplish your goal, whatever means necessary.

    As a result of her Origin, Yinniang's path is never set in stone. As a result, it's easy for her to be drawn to an individual, cause or even an entirely new life; in turn, she is always fated to lose interest or faith and eventually part ways. However, the ties between herself and her Master cannot be broken, as she needs to cooperate if she wants to fulfill her wish. However, enough disagreements may lead to her defecting to another Master. While Yinniang would care less about what kind of person her Master is, it would be nice if they had a practical mindset. After all, sentiments are a problem in her field of work.

    For a wish from the Grail, it's to be able to find an actual purpose in life. For since unlocking her Origin, Yinniang was never emotionally invested in anything, for she knew that eventually, she will leave one way or another. But perhaps the vessel can change all of it.

    Extras:

    (Although she has the capabiliities, Yinniang finds making medicine and performing healing magecraft as inconvinent, as her only task is to kill and kill alone. In truth, the performance of the two arts reminds her of the past. And some parts of the past should stay forgotten.)

    (Never force Yinniang to stay outdoors, especially in the middle of any forests or mountains. She had enough of an experience to last lifetimes. If you do, however, be careful around her; she can get a little fidgety with that dagger of her's.)


    Craft Essence/Reactions

    A Mistake I’ll Never Repeat

    It was to be a simple job.
    ‘Get in, sneak around, land the kill and leave.’
    Rooting out corruption was routine at this point.
    The guards were of no issue, and the rooftop approach was simple enough.

    Sneaking into the main halls, the official was sitting in his office, clearly occupied.
    It would’ve been simple; jump down, a swift cut to the neck, and disappear through the rooftops.
    After all, hundreds died by his hands. He deserved this.
    But upon closing in, a child ran into the office, asking his father if he can play ball with him.
    Putting down his brush, the official smiled and played catch with his son.

    Hesitation was unexpected.
    It was painfully easy, to jump down and snuff out a single life.
    But the simple joy between parent and child had me petrified.
    In the end, I couldn’t do it, and returned to my mentor.
    After disclosing my mission and its failure, she scolded me.

    ‘Next time, do not hesitate. Their Sins outweigh their Virtues, and a father is no different.’

    The next day, the official’s estate was in an uproar.
    The official, his wife and son, all killed.
    The wife and son died from a slit throat, while the official via decapitation.
    That was the last time I hesitated.
    And the last time I believed my mentor’s teachings.

    ---

    Reaction to Other Servants:

    Younger Servants(Jack, Nursery Rhyme, Alexander, etc.): "...." She seems to be hesitating. Not sure why.

    Alexandre Dumas: "Appearances aside, I could've sworn I was talking to Pei Xing..."

    Yan Qing: "You are like a crow; foreboding and dark... until you open your mouth. Afterwards, you're just annoying. Maybe you should just go gawk at the corpses, they're much more willing to listen."

    Li Shuwen: "Fufu, 'No second strike is needed?' If it's a challenge you want, so be it. But don't expect me to just use my fists."

    Jaguarman: "!! ...Ah, apologies for the dagger, it's a bit of a habit."

    ---

    Bond Lines:

    Lv.1: "Fufufu... How funny; in spite of my killings or the things I've done to cleanse corruption, the world still regarded me as a hero of all things. Romanticism does have its perks."

    Lv.2: "Let us go, Master; those heads aren't going to roll themselves, you know?"

    Lv.3: "Oh? How was I so casual compared to me during battle? Well, usually the most talkative ones dies quicker, and making noise isn't really helpful in what I do, does it not?"

    Lv.4: "I've seen wise families fall from their traditions, and sages twisted by their own philosophies. So if you are as smart as you look, I suggest you try not to take anything to heart. ...Who are they, you ask? Fufu, that's not really important, is it?"

    Lv.5: "Fufu, how annoying; although that optimism of yours is rather foolish, it's also infectious. Now, I can't help but hope for a better outcome for us all. Who knows where you may lead us in these turbulent times, but rest assured - for now you have my complete interest, Master."


    Skills
    Class Skills:

    Presence Concealment - A+
    The capacity to hide one's presence as a Servant. In Yianniang's case, she is able to nearly disappear completely and become almost impossible to become detected, even against another Servant's perception. However, the Skill's efficiency will decrease once preparations to attack are taken.

    Said to be "Quieter than a mouse," Yianniang was known to pass by her targets without being noticed at a all. During her task to kill her first target, Yianniang's mentor Jiaxin told her to go after a corrupt official. Instead of long planning and precise execution, Yianniang disappears into the crowd and swiftly decapitates the official in broad daylight. Before the official's body hit the ground, she had already left without attracting any sort of attention from anyone.

    Personal Skills:

    Chinese Martial Arts (Jiao Di) - A+++
    A Chinese rationality. A value that measures one’s mastery of the martial arts that made becoming one with the universe as its objective. And due to its steep difficulty, one is only considered to “finally learned” the Skill is when it reaches the ranking of A.

    Focuses on the Zhili style. The oldest form and considered to be the root of all Chinese martial arts, Jiao Di involves grappling, hand and feet strikes, targeting pressure points and joints with a lot of throwing added in the mix. Despite being seemingly simplistic, the its three minor styles allows versatility:

    Beijing variant, which focuses on arm locks and balance-breaking kicks.

    Tianjin variant, a defensive stance that involves blocking and striking with the forearms.

    Baoding variant, with great emphasis on blindingly fast execution of single-hand grapple techniques and disarming.

    Despite only spending nearly two years in training, Yinniang managed to master them at an extraordinary pace from combatting against wild animals like tigers and leopards alike. And because of facing these quick-footed predators, the Nie heir's reaction speed is even greater than those of normal practitioners. Additionally, her inherent Qi flow within her allows an even bigger power boost, allowing her to grapple with a single hand. Even when faced against multiple opponents, Yinniang will literally send them flying with her grapple attacks.

    Magecraft - C
    The knowledge about modern Thaumaturgy. In Yinniang’s case, it covers the majority of Taoist-based magecraft. Within her five years of intense training, Yinniang was trained in the various branches of Taoist magecraft. The various techniques include:

    Divination - The Yi Jing variant, which uses hexagrams of the I-Ching to predict the future.

    External and Internal Alchemy - External involves the basic change of material composition and the creation of medical wonders, namely potions or medicine. Meanwhile, Internal revolves around controlling one’s Qi to enhance one’s performance in any physical action. The ways of controlling said Qi usually entails strict diets, meditations and even sexual activities. However, due to some bad blood and a lack of talent in External Alchemy, Yinniang prefers to not use them.

    Shenfucraft - The focus on the creation and appliance of Fu - the Chinese variants of Ofuda. Can be used for sealing, exorcise/summon spirits, beasts or even minor deities. Other uses include medicinal cleansing.

    Wuxing - The control of the five elements: Metal, Wood, Water, Fire and Earth. Can be used in synergy with Shenfucraft to create explosive elemental talismans. Since Yinniang's elemental affinity is Earth, she has more control in both Metal and Earth of Wuxing, while the others are slightly above average at best. She invoke the power of the elements usually from the Fu she carries with herself.

    Given that Yinniang was summoned as Assassin and not as Caster, a majority of these collected techniques are ranked C in terms of skill. The only exceptions to the low ranking are Internal Alchemy and Shenfucraft, which are in the rankings of B due to both her family’s innate talent and her experience in those fields. And due to the nature of her Origin, Divination is extremely unstable and often unreliable.

    A walking definition of “Untapped potential,” Assassin!Yinniang had the ability in mastering multiple fields of magecraft, but struggles to specialize in a single field due to her easily disinterested behavior along with her interest in learning what's necessary. However, because of her Origin and quick thinking, Yinniang is still able to pull some unorthodox yet clever tricks to gain the upper hand. For despite her limited mastery, magecraft still played a part in her jobs; creation of a potion that dissolve corpses into water, pills that eases pain when overexerting, or even summoning of animal spirits to assist her via Shenfucraft.

    Nature of a Rebellious Spirit - A
    the temperaments to never remain at one location and never embrace a lord. A wandering star that does not have the capacity to be king nor is capable of finding their own king. Negates the effects of Charisma with the same rank.

    A Skill deeply linked with her Origin, Yinniang was fated to never settle in a fixed path. Whether it's clients or ideals, she will eventually part ways from them. Even if she seemed to be comfortable with a course of action, she's bound to get unsatisfied and will pursue something new. When Changyi earned a promotion into the Imperial Court, Yinniang decided to part ways, disregarding wealth and happiness for "expanding one's horizons." Instead of being confined to the rooms of a city, she prefers to wander the land, seeking innocents to help, and corruption to cleanse. Whether these are justifications or excuses are unknown, as she is still bound to deviate to a beaten path to the end.


    Noble Phantasms
    Cì Shēng Zhēn - The Cut Which Defines Removal -
    Anti-Unit
    Rank C

    A Noble Phantasm that is not just a crystallization of a legend, but one that revolves around Yinniang's Origin. It borrows the appearance of a Mystic Code from the Nie family, a simple short blade used to siphon or “remove” any negative effects of the body. From depression to grudges, the removal of negative concepts greatly improves the Nie family's flow of Qi. As the less earthly burdens oneself possessed, the closer one is to achieve Neidan, or eternal health from the perfect body. This was one half of the Nie family's goal: to create the perfect body, and with their newfound longevity via the Elixir of Life, they'll ascend to the same tiers as Xian - physically immortal beings, transcending the mortal coil. In a way, Internal Alchemy aims to replicate the Golden Rule (Body) Skill possessed by Servants.

    But due to the nature of Yianniang's Origin, the effects of the Mystic Code has been...altered, so to speak. Greatly warping the concept of "Removal," instead of extracting the negative concepts from oneself, the blade now removes the concept of "impossibility" - or the idea of failure from its wielder. Upon activating this Noble Phantasm, nothing appears to be out of the norm as the NP is merely a simple blade dealing middling damage. After several nicks, however, something bizarre happens; the next wound didn't feel like small cut, but a large gash through the body. Taken from Yinniang's fight against the assassin Jing Jing'er, who was impossible to hit due to his ability to control his cloak like a shield. After distracting the mist-like assassin with minor slashes, Yinniang pulled out her dagger and swiped it at a small patch of exposed skin - a part of Jinger that wasn't protected. And with that strike the cloaked assassin fell to the ground, headless.

    To explain, the chance of dealing "critical" damage increases every time the target is hit. The initial chances of that happening are extremely low, but with each successful strike the standard deviation of critical damage decreases. And when the success rate is certain, the next attack with the NP will hit and deal double the initial damage. On average, it takes around sixteen strikes to successfully charge the attack. Once Yinniang managed to even clip the enemy once more with the critical strike, it will automatically go through all types of defense - physical and magical - and deal a decisive wound upon the opponent's body. For no matter how seemingly invincible one is from attack, Yinniang will always complete her job. While the critical blow is a mere inconvenience to Servants of high Endurance, those of C or below will find themselves at a severe disadvantage, as if the cut sapped the energy from their body.
    An attack completely discarding the natural order of the world, truly befitting of an assassin who denied her set path.

    However, this phenomenon is scaled with the enemy's Luck against Yinniang's. If Yinniang's Luck is one rank or more above the opponent's, the chance of critical damage grows 1.5 times faster. But the same applies to the opponent, if their rank is higher than Yinniang's by one rank or more, then the chances of critical damage slows by 1.5 times and so on. As the NP will only work if the dagger actually comes into direct contact with the opponent, those with higher speed can completely render the Np moot. While effective against Servants with lower luck, this NP is near useless against those of a superior ranking. Another way to counter this NP is if the opponent in question possessed Battle Continuation, as the critical attack only is meant for finishing blows, and the Skill nullify it via the their persistence.

    Yǐng Dǒu Peng - The Cloak That Embraces Integration -
    Support/Anti-Unit
    Rank C

    Another Mystic Code of the Nie family, originally used to enhance their flow of Qi for their Internal Alchemy. The cloth causes its wearer to go into a conscious trance, clearing the mind of unnecessary obstructions and thoughts. As a result, the wearer’s breathing is improved, allowing an increased flow of Qi. In doing so, the wearer’s Qi will be in sync with the world, essentially disappearing from the human eye. Without any detection means no interruptions, which is paramount to the Nies; while they’re proficient in the healing arts, the family’s members are hardly capable fighters. As such, they are prone to quick retreats when threatened.

    Same as Cì Shēng Zhēn, it’s also a Mystic Code-turned Origin Weapon. Instead of integrating one's presence with the world, it allows the wearer to integrate themselves and other items into the cloth. Like a disappearing trick, the wearer of the cloak vanishes from the world, becoming one with the cloth. In this form, one is able to float and drift around, allowing a sense of lightness and fluidity. Despite its simplicity, its true strength lies with how unpredictable it is; as no matter how experienced one is in combat, not even a grizzled warrior can discern the movement patterns of a billowing piece of cloth.

    And even if the opponents tried to attack, the force of their strikes allows the cloth to slip around the weapon, leaving them open for attack. As such, even Knight Class Servants will find themselves struggling to even hit Yinniang in cloth form. In turn, she is able to materialize parts of her from the cloth, allowing her to attack in the relative safety of the cloak. Additionally, tossing objects from the cloak is possible, so do expect Yinniang commonly use her throwing daggers to attack from the cloak.

    However, Yinniang is far from invincible; in fact, she risks taking even more damage when merged with the cloak than normally does. If the opponent manages to cut the cloak at its left corner, then the Nie heir will receive the same cut on her left shoulder after separating from the cloak. Should the cloth be destroyed, whatever is integrated with it will also be destroyed. The fact that the cloak is not fireproof is another concern, as Yinniang is very susceptible to it in cloak form.


    (Finally, this took a while. Feel free to offer suggestions - or just tearing it apart, that would be fine too.)

    (Did I mention that Yinniang also stabbed an eagle from the sky by throwing her shortsword?)
    Last edited by SleepMode; June 29th, 2017 at 09:05 AM. Reason: Realized how long it was, thus Editing occurred
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  10. #6510
    夜魔 Nightmare sherlock1110's Avatar
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    Yinniang: I honestly don't know where to begin commenting on this sheet, it's good... Although the only thing really balancing her out is her second NP and lack of Endurance so that, thankfully, keeps her within the boundaries of the Assassin class. Beast Killer would most certainly not be appropriate for this Servant (sorry), it's an interesting sheet but I can see her being the type to be taken out early on by a fire based attack against her second NP. Sorry I couldn't give particularly good comments. *insert "how would they react to...." here*
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  11. #6511
    So Many Ideas, So Little Time SleepMode's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sherlock1110 View Post
    Yinniang: I honestly don't know where to begin commenting on this sheet, it's good... Although the only thing really balancing her out is her second NP and lack of Endurance so that, thankfully, keeps her within the boundaries of the Assassin class. Beast Killer would most certainly not be appropriate for this Servant (sorry), it's an interesting sheet but I can see her being the type to be taken out early on by a fire based attack against her second NP. Sorry I couldn't give particularly good comments. *insert "how would they react to...." here*
    Is that so... do you think you have any advice on how to balance her out?
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    夜魔 Nightmare sherlock1110's Avatar
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    My comments, as I said, are not the most helpful in things like this. She is pretty well balanced but it is mainly just the glass-cannon method of balancing, in reflection though Nature of a Rebellious Spirit does make her a more dangerous Servant to summon, especially if she sees innocents being harmed. Honestly I probably overstated this problem in my original criticism because I wanted to seem more helpful, sorry that it wasn't of any actual use. The idea of "balancing" a Servant sheet is pretty controversial as it is anyway... sorry to have wasted your time
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    Flying Fairy Sunny's Avatar
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    I honestly don't know why I did this. But he requires additional resources. Oh so many more additional resources.

    Hardly the first to try this, but I hope I put an interesting spin on the NP.



    Class:
    Rider
    Alignment: Lawful Good
    True Name: Neil Armstrong


    "You heard about that? They say some guy in an astronaut costume's been breaking into the factories downtown for the last few days."
    "I'm sorry? What."
    "Yeah. Robbed them blind in one night. Crazy, huh?"
    "Go back a sec. He was wearing what?"

    Background:
    Spoiler:
    The first man to walk on the moon, Neil Armstrong was but one of several astronauts, one small cog in the machine that launched the fateful mission to the moon. Whether flying under the banner of the United States or the Western European Conglomerate or any other, across countless worlds, Rider consistently holds the legend of the first voyage to walk upon a celestial body beyond Earth. By virtue of leaving the vessel first, for twenty minutes, he was the first and only human to chance upon the fissure of pure photonic crystal that oversaw the Earth. A momentary discovery concealed from the rest of his peers, reported only to his direct superiors and left in no official records.

    Upon the completion of his voyage, he surprised the world by announcing he would never journey to space again. He retired to mere teaching and consulting, allowing the next generation to take their own steps. He was the first to discover the Eye of God, yet never spoke a single word to another human being about what he saw within, or what mark he left as the first human administrator of the Automaton in its entire life. Did he interfere with the world? Does he regret his choice, whatever it was?

    A humble, noble man reduced to a petty thief in the name of his goal. What wish would compel him to make that voyage again? And is it a trip of hope, of regret, or something more?



    Parameters:
    Strength: E
    Endurance: D
    Agility: E
    Mana: E
    Luck: EX
    Noble Phantasm: EX

    Class Abilities:
    Magic Resistance
    Rank: E
    Cannot cancel spells, but magic damage is reduced somewhat.

    Riding
    Rank: --
    The ability to ride mounts and vehicles. This skill has been lost due to the Voyage skill.

    Personal Skills:
    Pioneer of the Stars
    Rank: EX
    The unique Skill given to heroes that became turning points in human history. All difficult voyages and challenges which are considered "impossible" turn into "events that can be realized".

    Wisdom of Predicament
    Rank: B
    Calls upon luck in dangerous situations derived from his training and his own intelligence. In space travel, he mustered inhuman calm to overcome unexpected malfunctions and difficulty in his return to the Earth. At this rank, Rider is also capable of using Item Construction at Rank C.

    Voyage
    Rank: B
    A skill denoting one's steering techniques for a ship. Because it is specialized for ships only, it is impossible for one to ride horses or chariots.

    Tools:
    With Item Creation, Rider is able to construct a number of tools, all mechanical in nature. Whether it is a jetpack for transportation, advanced energy weapons, or an evolving hub capable of beginning construction of his Noble Phantasm, these tools are not as powerful as a proper Caster, and allow Rider to barely fight only defensive battles with other Servants.

    Noble Phantasm(s):
    Apollo 11 - First Contact Under the Eye of God
    Type: Anti-World
    Rank: EX
    The sublimation of the single voyage that made Rider a hero - a voyage dreamed of in legend for time immemorial, finally achieved through the ingenuity of man. A Noble Phantasm that recreates the construction of a rocket that achieved what no legend before it had, capable of but a single voyage and a single purpose.

    An irregular Noble Phantasm, Apollo cannot be manifested with magical energy, like regular Noble Phantasms. Worldly material and time is needed to construct it before it can be utilized - a crystallization of the fruits of the effort of mankind, the conditions for its activation are strict, and without sufficient effort its single ability cannot be utilized. By collecting resources and creating autonomous systems that can carry on the construction in his stead, the prep time totals approximately 8 days, 3 hours, 18 minutes, and 35 seconds. Difficult to conceal, impractical to build, and unable to defend or attack in any way.

    However, should Rider be able to complete its construction, Apollo is capable of a single flight, out of bounds of the Holy Grail War, out of bounds of the Earth's cage, out of bounds of this universe - until he makes contact with the reality-changing device he once discovered on behalf of man. By touching the divine automatic recording device, Rider is granted the Authority to make a single change to the world below, no matter how large or small. Be it "victory in the Grail War", "skipping to the next stage in man's progress," or any other possibility he may imagine, no outcome is beyond Rider's control.

    In short, a Noble Phantasm that eschews the very concept of the Holy Grail War, a shortcut that is nothing less than the ultimate "cheat route."

    This is a digression, but should he be summoned in the Moon Cell itself, this Noble Phantasm would almost certainly be sealed, forbidding him from making a journey with his destination as the starting point. Truly the single worst result in the Servant lottery.
    Last edited by Sunny; June 25th, 2017 at 11:10 PM.

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  14. #6514
    E-Rank Bronzefag MehKitteh's Avatar
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    Armstrong: The ultimate make-it or break-it Servant.I kinda forgot that Moon Cell was a thing even though I finished Extra and CCC.

    The NP is reasonably balanced, although with his skills and armament, I assume that finishing Apollo 11 is nigh-impossible. Nevertheless, cool idea.

    Execute C:\local\lib\toh.exe?
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    Flying Fairy Sunny's Avatar
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    Yeah. It's not so hard to hide at first, but the larger it and the accompanying launching area gets, the more a confrontation becomes inevitable unless he makes some very good alliances. But when the end result is an alternate win condition, it's arguably worth the effort.

    "You have achieved victory through mastery of science!" and all.

    But he's actually a Servant who requires a surprisingly conniving plan of action, at odds with the character he had in life, for whatever reason...

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    So Many Ideas, So Little Time SleepMode's Avatar
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    ...The only way I can see Armstrong win a Grail War without a scratch is the Master being an extremely influential person, capable of getting those precious resources along with a secure place to build it.
    The Act of dozing off in the afternoon is a luxury indeed.
    Coffee would be nice, though.

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    Flying Fairy Sunny's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zh1212 View Post
    ...the only way I can see Armstrong win a Grail War without a scratch is the Master being an extremely influential person, capable of getting those precious resources.
    ...Yep. On the tier of an Einsbern, or a plutocrat, or some other cheater.

    "Buzzcola, we have a problem."

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    E-Rank Bronzefag MehKitteh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sunny View Post
    Yeah. It's not so hard to hide at first, but the larger it and the accompanying launching area gets, the more a confrontation becomes inevitable unless he makes some very good alliances. But when the end result is an alternate win condition, it's arguably worth the effort.

    "You have achieved victory through mastery of science!" and all.

    But he's actually a Servant who requires a surprisingly conniving plan of action, at odds with the character he had in life, for whatever reason...
    ... I regret forgetting to put Civ referrences.

    Quote Originally Posted by Zh1212 View Post
    ...the only way I can see Armstrong win a Grail War without a scratch is the Master being an extremely influential person, capable of getting those precious resources.
    True. Not to mention moving said materials would garner attention. Plus, if the Master uses Apollo 11 for his own gains, he basically have no more means to win the Grail. Except through sheer manpower.

    Execute C:\local\lib\toh.exe?
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    Dead Apostle Eater Historia's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MehKitteh View Post
    You don't know how it feels to have a Servant sheet in your head but your physical body refuses to type it down.
    dirty bastard

  20. #6520
    Time to burn some dread Daneel Rush's Avatar
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    III - Rome Under Fire

    I - Name Unknown
    II - The Enemy

    III – Rome Under Fire
    Archer had chosen the Vatican Hill for the plain and obvious reason that it was the highest point. From its summit, he enjoyed a sizeable view of the north, west, and south regions of the perimeter of the Eternal City. His arrows of flame were a vice choking the city’s artery: anybody attempting the cross the Tiber was shot down. Any ships attempting to make the supply run were set ablaze. With Rider’s and Lancer’s undying armies lashing at the walls and Chiyou’s Noble Phantasm infecting more and more of the city’s inhabitants with every passing day, the city was tumbling down towards the precipice.

    It was…disappointing. Too easy. The city would fall too easily. It was merely a matter of how long before Emperor Nero herself succumbed to the Banner of Chiyou.

    But he could not put this on their enemies’ weakness. The soldiers of Rome fought bravely, repelling Rider’s beasts and Lancer’s Wild Hunt day after day, even as their numbers fell with every engagement. If anything, it was commendable of them to have lasted so long against the concerted effort of so many Servants.

    “What troubles you, Archer?”

    The voice belonged to the other Rider, the one who was not an Aspect of Chiyou. The dancer who claimed to be a European Servant despite her attire and her obvious Semitic features. A woman whose every word was laced with poison.

    “I…merely think. I still find it hard to believe I have set my eyes upon Rome.”

    To him, the Romans were merely “the enemy from the west”. But the Romans he had fought did not even hold Rome at the time, as the empire had broken into halves. Stilicho’s efforts were in vain, and then Alaric besieged it. The Rome he had heard about was no longer brilliant or powerful. It was therefore with mixed feelings that he witnessed the legendary imperial Rome and its gradual collapse, in part by his hand. Yet, he could not escape the call to greatness, nor his heart’s wish to make himself the despoiler of Rome.

    This city was the prey Chiyou had presented him. A greater glory he could hardly imagine.

    “Yet your eyes shine with amusing luster,” replied the brown-skinned dancer. “Men are truly easy to please: you can be happy with only meat in your gut, women to fuck, and toys to break.”

    That brought laughter to his gut, and he let it out boisterously.

    “Well, my lady, life is rarely that comfortable. Do not blame us for enjoying the simple comforts when within our reach.”

    “Speaks the one who lived a life surrounded by palaces and wives.”

    “Oh, so I made my identity that obvious.” More laughter. “Well, well, not like it matters. We have not been summoned to a Holy Grail War.”

    “Hnn.” It was regrettable, he thought, to see such a disgusting snarl from such a beautiful face.

    “If anything, it’s stranger, having all these different Servants working together.”

    Archer looked up at the gathering clouds assembled by Caster. It was a hassle having to snipe in this windy weather. Conjuring a massive hurricane right atop the city would be the grand finale. Rome would be shattered. He thought it was a bit overkill.

    “Do not confuse us with Chaldea, Rider. They are truly working together. We…we are merely Servants sharing a single summoner. Attack dogs she has set upon that city. We do not work together; we just share the same target.” He paused. “Well, you may be the exception. She sent you on some sort of separate assignment.”

    “Well.” This time, Rider winced and shook her head. “The alternative was saying no to her.”

    Archer nodded, for once feeling a smidgen of compassion and relatability to this woman. It was the feeling shared by all of them.

    Infuriating as it was, opposing Chiyou was not an option. Furthermore, the gradual destruction of Rome was obviously making her stronger. It was with a heavy feeling that he realized there was nothing they could do about it. They simply could match the one who was perhaps the finest warrior at the dawn of civilization. No, even if they all turned their weapons on her, she only had to use that same Noble Phantasm currently tearing apart Rome from within—

    “Oh well, I’m just here for the report. Anything of note, Archer?”

    “No,” he said after a long silence. “They have learned their lesson since yesterday. I haven’t had to fire a single arrow today. The west flank is clear and under control.”

    “Aye aye. I leave you to your solitude, then. You know better than to slack at this point.”

    This was not a woman whose company he desired, so he nodded in calm acceptance of his role. Left alone once more, he was happy to admire the Eternal City he had only heard about in tales. There was a sort of grim majesty even as it collapsed from within. He almost shed a tear when the first fire rose taller than the city walls.

    “This,” he muttered to himself. “It should be so much more heartening than this.”

    Archer felt not the elation of triumph. He could only blame Chiyou’s sadistic strategy, and there was nothing he could do about it—

    A horse, swift like the storm, charged out of the northwestern forest; a mad dash towards the bridge. Chiyou had given the command not to destroy the bridges on the Tiber, and he hated both the order and its purpose.

    “Curse that woman!” he hissed as he took a shooting stance. Two people rode atop the powerful steed, and a third person ran behind, slowly losing to the difference in speed. It was not a chase; they were simply dashing at fast as each could.

    His bow was ornately beautiful as befit a king, but it was not a Noble Phantasm. The flame arrows conjured from his magical energy were not mere flame, however. He, who had helped spread the holy flame throughout his empire, now received its blessing.

    He could guess this was the group from Chaldea, therefore the Master was the one holding to the rider for dear life. There he let loose his barrage of arrows, a rate of literal fire only possible because he was not using solid ammunition, nor was he bothered by the burden of reloading.

    For once, his targets would not succumb to his barrage in an instant. At last, his bow was set upon Servants. The warmth in his heart pulled his lips into a broad grin.

    “Yes! This is what I was hoping fo—”

    Thick vital fluid burst out of his mouth and out of the new hole on his left side. He stumbled, but quickly turned that lapse into an evasive roll. He had not seen the attack coming, therefore—

    “Assassin!”

    A horned girl in a frilly dress assaulted him with musket fire. He felt there was a tinge of desperation on her face, and a disappointing recklessness to her attacks. This feeling only intensified when he returned fire, quickly taking initiative from her. He chased as she darted into the nearby forest, the two Servants running downslope in the direction of the imperial gardens. Even if there was a clear difference in their base specs, he was not one to look down on a Servant, any Servant.

    “That was your one and only chance, little girl!” He taunted.

    “Tell me something I don’t know! And why does everybody keep calling me that!?”

    The girl outdid him in overall agility; it was getting harder to catch a glimpse of her with every passing second. Soon enough, he would lose her—no, this was not merely a consequence of superior agility or the trademark elusiveness of the Assassin-class Servant.

    “This…is not the usual Presence Concealment! A stealth Skill that flourishes in this kind of environment?”

    “Damn it, you’re sharp!”

    He did not waste an instant to rain arrows in her overall direction. The delicious glimpse of a thigh almost made him pause—it would be a waste to singe it with his flame—, but the alternative was losing her again, so his hunt continued.

    “Haha, that should be obvious! I am a king!”

    “Like that’s supposed to mean anything to me!”

    Archer smirked. She could have taken to the open field to try to catch up to her allies, but she chose to stay and run circles around him. It was obvious her stealth—or was it more like camouflage? —Skill worked best in this forested area.

    “At this pace, I might just raze this entire forest to ashes, little Assassin!”

    “Animals live here, you ass! Isn’t that a bit too much of a dick move!?”

    Normally he would feel a bit put out by the crass language, but he was admittedly enjoying himself. He wasn’t normally this talkative when engaged in a difficult hunt, for once. He didn’t even feel the wound anymore.

    “Ahaha! You may be no lion, but you make for a much finer prey!”

    Something changed at that moment. She saved herself the shrieking reply. Instead, she disappeared. He could no longer see her, but for a moment her ill intent spiked and permeated his surroundings like thick mist.

    “It seems my words have roused her anger for whatever reason,” he mused. “Have I suddenly become the hunted once again?”

    Archer was very careful and very watchful. He knew himself better than anyone; as a Servant, he was a purely offensive combatant, and in contrast his defenses were lacking. He needed to find her, but at this point he could not start shooting indiscriminately and set the entire place on fire. Those words were merely a taunt; such an act would be unworthy to the holy fire.

    It took him almost a minute of tensely waiting for her sneak attack to realize he’d been had.

    “That little—!” He hissed in a surprisingly (to himself) upbeat mood as he hurried out of the sea of trees. Indeed, the girl was already halfway to the Tiber. She constantly glanced over her shoulder, and when she caught sight of him aiming his bow, he could all but hear her frightened shriek all the way to the hill slope.

    “Well aren’t you quick, little girl. Both to think and to flee!”

    More worrisome to his eyes, however, was the mounted Servant and her escort, who were almost to the bridge.

    “That was a fine distraction, but we cannot let it end like this, can we?”

    The knocked arrow grew twice as long and twice as thick; the arrow of flame became a stake as it fed from his magical energy. His mightiest technique would engulf the entire space between the hill and the river.

    “This is the holy flame; the immaculate hand of sanctity; the perfect blade of the god of victory! Blessing of the war god, martial hand of Asha Vahishta!”

    The arrow was released, and the spike of flame pierced the sky, opening a hole on the world itself.

    Atash-i Vahram
    Everburning Flame, Consume All the World’s Evil
    !”

    From within the omnitemporal realm of divinities that long ago abandoned this world, the true holy fire poured out onto the field like burning oil. But this was no mere inert flame, for it carried the punishing will of the bringer of victory. The flame shaped itself, and a flame warrior with a mighty sword unleashed his mighty swing. Atorrent of flame like a blazing wave sought to engulf the young Assassin.

    “She dodged, huh. Well, can you evade all ten attacks, child?”

    The horse had come to a halt, allowing the runner to catch up and plant herself in front of the mounted knight and the Master of Chaldea. The small spear bearer stabbed the ground in front of her with her weapon before throwing herself beneath the horse’s bulk—

    “A defensive Noble Phantasm!”

    A prism-like barrier surged from the ground upwards—a perfect guard that normally would save a single person became able to protect the Master and the two Servants by making the horse the primary target. They disappeared within the barrage of flame bullets launched by the second manifestation of flame—the adolescent boy—, but Archer doubted they would come to harm; that Lancer would have relied on her Noble Phantasm if she was not certain it would succeed. As for the little Assassin…

    She ran—scampered, really—between the thick legs of the huge bull of flame as it rampaged, avoiding it by running under its bulk.

    A sudden flip to the side pulled her out of the path of the trampling horse.

    The flip transitioned into a somersault to leap over the camel out to stomp her head.

    A fioriture more suitable to a ballerina than a huntress, and she danced out of the way of the charging boar.

    As if she had always known it was there, she looked up at the diving bird of prey, leaping out of the way late enough to prevent it from correcting its trajectory, but not so late she could not avoid the ensuing explosion.

    Archer carefully studied Assassin’s actions as she further dodged the ram and the goat. More specifically, what she did and what she looked at right before her evasive maneuvers. Simple speed was not sufficient to dodge all those attacks.

    “That girl…that girl possesses Clairvoyance. No, future sight!”

    That little Assassin was her diametrical opposite: her skillset was almost desperately focused on staying alive.

    However, the flames had effectively blocked the path to the Chaldean Master and his Servants, and the final attack, the firestorm, would swipe the entire area and leave no room for avoidance.

    But the girl had also anticipated that.

    Her evasive maneuvers seemed desperate, but they were purposeful. She could not reach the bridge, so she just leapt into the Tiber, where his holy fire would not reach. It could not—natural water was just as holy.

    “Hmph. Not bad, child. I praise you.”

    Letting his bow fall, Archer closed his eyes and remembered Chiyou’s—Assassin’s—instructions.

    Do your best to stop them from entering the city. You will fail, but it won’t matter as long as the Assassin girl is separated from Chaldea.

    It brought a sigh to his lips. They kept dancing on the palm of her hand.

    “What a crass spectacle. I might feel like departing before the finale.”

    Base Stats & Skills
    Bahrām V Gōr

    Faceclaim

    Source: Artwork by Amelianvs

    Class: Archer
    Alignment: Lawful Good
    Gender: Male
    Source: Historical fact; Persian literature
    Region: West Asia

    Height & Weight: 184 cm, 82 kg
    Likes: Hunting, music, poetry
    Dislikes: Dragons
    Talents: Carousing, writing poetry
    Natural Enemy: Artoria Pendragon
    Attribute: Man

    STR A
    END C
    AGI C
    MGI C
    LUK A
    Noble Phantasm A++


    Class Skills
    Magic Resistance – B+
    Grants protection against magical effects. Differing from the developed Resistance that merely rejects magical energy, this Skill cancels the spells altogether. At this rank, spells with a chant below three verses are canceled. Even if targeted by High-Thaumaturgy and Greater Rituals, it is difficult for Archer to be affected.
    The Skill, Divine Protection of
    Atar
    Holy Fire
    , provides a plus-correction to this Skill against magical fire and spells of the Hollow element.

    Independent Action – A
    The ability to remain independent even when rejecting the magical energy supply from a Master. At rank A, it is possible to take action even without a Master. However, to use Noble Phantasms of great magical energy consumption, backup from the Master is necessary. It is possible for Archer to stay in the world for about a week without a Master.


    Personal Skills
    Charisma – B-
    A composite Skill consisting of a person’s charm as well as the natural talent to command or unify an army or country. Increases the ability of allies during group battles. This rank is more than sufficient to lead a nation as its King. Unfortunately, even if Archer remains one of the most popular and most revered Persian monarchs, there is some criticism of his rulership, and it is considered the beginning of the decline of the Sasanian Empire, so there is a negative correction to its effect.

    Divine Protection of
    Atar
    Holy Fire
    – B+

    A unique form of divine protection from the burning and unburning fire that is Ahura Mazda, granting the strength to overcome ordeals and execute divine justice. It grants rank-up to Archer’s STR, plus-correction to his Magic Resistance Skill, and the benefit of Mana Burst (Flame), which he uses to conjure flame arrows as his standard means of attack.

    Flame is the instrument of justice, the great purifier and eradicator of evil. It was flame that devoured Angra Mainyu. Archer’s holy fire becomes more effective the closer the enemy is to a Chaotic Evil alignment. On Lawful Good creatures, it may even be used for healing wounds and removing poisons and curses.

    Dragon Slayer – C
    A special Skill provided to those who have taken down a creature of the Dragon Kind. It is not a talent given from Heaven, but from the individual achievement of killing a dragon. Archer receives a moderate boost to attack and defense power against creatures of the Dragon Kind.

    Archer’s dragon-slaying tale is recorded in the Shahnameh. On his journey to India as a royal envoy, the hero slew a dragon by the seashore and was rewarded with the blessing to marry one of the Indian king’s daughters.

    Patron of the Arts – C+
    A Skill associated with Servants that supported the labor of artists, resulting in notable and important works. At this rank, Servants who were artists in life or connected to the arts suffer moderate penalties when attacking Archer, and Archer has an advantageous position in social interactions with such Servants. It has a chance of negating the negative correction to his Charisma Skill.

    It is a form of mental interference, and therefore can be countered in the usual means. Servants with Skills like Mad Enhancement or Mental Pollution are particularly good at resisting this Skill’s effects, as well as a certain Red Saber who also seems to be unaffected by it. “I am my own best Maecenas!”, or something like that.

    Lore & Character
    Lore
    Bahrām the Fifth, nicknamed “Gōr” (onager). Son and successor of Yazdegerd I, he reigned over the Sassanid Empire from 420 to 438 CE. To this day, he remains an exceedingly popular figure in Iranian literature and art. This is probably due to the romanticizing of his life and deeds at the brilliant hands of the great poets: Ferdowsi (“Shahnameh”), Nizami Ganjavi (“Haft Paykar”), and Amir Khusrow (“Hasht-Bihisht”).

    It is believed (Nöldeke, Geschichte der Perser, 1879) that at one point in his youth, Bahrām had some disagreement with his father, which led to his banishment. Bahrām was brought up at the court of Al-Nu'man I ibn Imru' al-Qays, the king of Al-Hirah. It was a time of a weakened central power, and of nobles and priests aiming for total control of the royal succession. When Yazdegerd died, or rather was assassinated, the nobles also murdered Bahrām’s older brother and placed their own candidate, Khosrow, on the throne. Bahrām received the military support of Al-Nu'man’s son and heir, Al-Mhundir, and together they marched on the capital. Threatened by the sight of their approaching doom, the nobles agreed to negotiate with Bahrām. According to Ferdowsi’s Shahnameh, Bahrām proposed an ordeal, suggesting that the royal crown and garb be placed between two lions, and whoever could retrieve them by killing the beasts should be acknowledged as the divinely favored king. Khosrow refused to face the beasts, while Bahrām flawlessly overcame them and won the throne.

    Bahrām was a popular king even in his time, mostly because he remitted taxes and public debts at festive occasions, and he entertained the masses with lavish celebrations and sponsored artists. He acknowledged his limitations as a statesman and thus delegated the matters of administration to his father’s more capable officials. Where he took the lead was in the field of battle, inflicting a crushing defeat on the invading White Huns on the east, and fighting the Eastern Roman Empire to a stalemate on the west.

    To the standards of his time, Bahrām’s reign was generally peaceful. The early Persian historians emphasized Bahrām’s military prowess and his efforts to deliver good rulership. The epic accounts of the great poets give a romantic tint to his life, full of the usual tropes: he is the “chosen one” with the auspicious horoscope; showing physical and intellectual prowess at an early age; taken to a foreign court, he nonetheless receives a thorough formation in the manly arts. His is a life dedicated to warfare, the hunt, and erotic, amorous adventures. He is portrayed as possessing all the qualities admired by the Persians in their kings. On the other hand, he was made into the protagonist of the Haft Paykar, which is in essence a cautionary tale about the consequences of a frivolous life and abandoning one’s duty.

    There are, by the way, two separate explanation for his nickname “Gōr”, which is claimed to come either from Bahrām’s love of hunting wild onagers, or from a tale in which he killed a lion and an onager with a single arrow. The word “Gōr” has an homonym meaning “grave”, which leads to a popular pun describing Bahrām’s death: “he went chasing the onager, but instead found his grave.” Ferdowsi’s version has Bahrām die in his sleep, while in Haft Paykar and Hasht-Bihisht he chases an onager into a cave and disappears. Versions of the legend by early historians have him sink into a swamp, fall into a deep pit, or drown.


    Character
    “The king must enjoy being the king. If the king cannot enjoy his stature, the burden of kingship becomes a curse. The king must revel and delight in his stature, and let his people know how much he enjoys being their ruler. A king that does not enjoy kingship will never receive the love of his people.”

    A receptacle eager to be filled with affection.

    “It is the King’s purpose to be loved.” Such is his belief, and it drives all his actions and decisions. Believing himself deserving of all affection and attention, Bahrām seeks it to a degree comparable to an addiction. Outside of the battlefield, he is a hapless and arrogant hedonist with an unsettling sense of entitlement. Naturally, it is entirely one-sided love that he seeks—he has no love to give; the very thought of having to give love to receive it is ludicrous. That matter aside, he is a very solemn ruler, with an utmost belief in proper manners and behavior—from everybody else, that is. He demands the respect and adoration befitting of an autocrat. But at heart he just wants to be liked by everybody.

    Bahrām sees the holy fire that manifests as his Noble Phantasm as the benediction of the god of victory, and fully embraces the spirit of “the chosen one”. He carries himself with the utmost confidence of being able to achieve his aims, no matter what. He does not see himself as a hard worker, but that’s because he does not recognize the sheer amount of effort he puts into things as something extraordinary. Instead, he gets things done and then acts like it was preordained. Bahrām parties hard, but he also works hard, so all in all he is a pretty good Servant to have at your side.

    Noble Phantasm
    Atash-i Vahram
    Everburning Flame, Consume All the World’s Evil

    Rank: A++
    Type: Anti-Army/Anti-Evil
    Range: 1-99
    Maximum Targets: 250 people

    The holy fire of victory. The Sassanid King, great supporter of the Zoroastrian religion and builder of temples, receives the everburning holy flame as his Noble Phantasm, further imbued with the power of his patron god, the very same that gave Bahrām his name.

    After invoking the Noble Phantasm’s full name, Bahrām fires a single shot high in the sky. The arrow disappears as if piercing a hole through space itself, and torrential amounts of holy flame pour out of this hole. But this outpour of holy flames does not merely drop on Bahrām’s enemies, instead coalescing into the separate forms of Verethragna:

    • An armed warrior releases a wave of flames from its sword.
    • An adolescent boy invokes a rain of tongues of flame.
    • A large bull of flame charges at Bahrām’s enemies.
    • A fiery horse tramples the enemy lines.
    • A mighty camel stomps with hooves of flame.
    • A giant boar gores with its fiery tusks.
    • A bird of prey dives into the midst of the enemy formation.
    • A great ram butts all before it.
    • A rampaging goat kicks the enemies.
    • Finally, all the wanton flame gathers to engulf the targets in a colossal cyclone. This final attack, devouring the entire area of effect in its expansive growth, renders avoidance impossible. A creature within the area of effect can only counter it or block it with a matching defensive power; it cannot dodge.

    The holy flame exacts justice and purifies evil. Creatures that carry the brand of evil take additional damage, but there is not a living creature that escapes the flame unharmed. No creature of good is fully free of sin, and even mindless beasts bear the sin of being beasts, and thus ignorant of good and evil.

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