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Thread: Create-A-Servant 2

  1. #7521
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spartacus View Post
    I can make wank effect for that. lmao

    Also, I believe the Iskandar issue has been explained and discussed.
    C+ means that Shingen is situationally better than Iskander.

    So...what is that situation?

  2. #7522
    wwwww Spartacus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Theoneandonlyz View Post
    C+ means that Shingen is situationally better than Iskander.

    So...what is that situation?
    Huh? Did you even read anything?

    Okay, to make sure it willn't become unneeded and heated argument, he just get better advantage when fighting Servant from Sengoku period because he is nippon ichiban.

    He will not top iskandar or whatever like what you think about me trying to write him.
    Last edited by Spartacus; September 5th, 2017 at 07:47 PM.

  3. #7523
    love warrior <3 world-0 the god of world-0's Avatar
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    Hey royd, you where the first person (or dog, or robot or whatever) to coment on my first sheet.
    What is your opinion on the remake? How it is in comparation?


    here is a list of my servant sheets(new and improved format for my servant sheets)

    Come explore the White Library, and reach the bottom of this Abyss
    Fate / White Memoria

  4. #7524
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spartacus View Post
    Huh? Did you even read anything?

    Okay, to make sure it willn't become unneeded and heated argument, he just get better advantage when fighting Servant from Sengoku period because he is nippon ichiban.

    He will not top iskandar or whatever like what you think about me trying to write him.
    The + is for going up against other Sengoku servants.

    That's all you needed to answer and that's all I wanted to ask.

    + modifiers are multiplicative (unless that changed post F/GO.

  5. #7525
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    Well sorry to misunderstood what are you saying, because you sound very aggressive about it and keep bringing the Iskandar thingy. So it kinda slipped up.

  6. #7526
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    My first response was too confrontational. Sorry about that.

  7. #7527
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    Okay, we cool then

  8. #7528
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by the god of world-0 View Post
    Hey royd, you where the first person (or dog, or robot or whatever) to coment on my first sheet.
    What is your opinion on the remake? How it is in comparation?
    It's definitely an improvement. The new NP adds a lot more flavor, since her other two are variations on what we've already see in canon. Anti-"Mercy" classification is a bit overly specific for my liking though. Just Anti-Unit or whatever should be enough. Her personality is well fleshed out too, which was one of the things I pointed out that was lacking in your first sheet.
    Last edited by RoydGolden; September 5th, 2017 at 09:05 PM. Reason: Remembered more of the first sheet

  9. #7529
    celestial prayer 34's Avatar
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    EDIT : Destroyed sheet. My internet fucked up. I will repost it later.
    Last edited by 34; September 6th, 2017 at 12:05 AM.

  10. #7530
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    Quote Originally Posted by ThirtyFour34 View Post
    Hippolytus, Consort of Artemis (Virbius, King of the Grove)
    This is certainly a interesting method of implementing a uncommon character.

    His summoner better know what they are doing...

    Anyways you may want to adjust your alignment though. Having everything center text makes this really hard to read. I can guess what you are trying to do but the way you break up the text makes it difficult to follow.
    Last edited by Theoneandonlyz; September 5th, 2017 at 11:04 PM.

  11. #7531
    不死 Undead Aridwolverine's Avatar
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    -Rider-
    Sun Wukong

    Alternate Classes: Berserker, Lancer, Caster, Saver
    Alignment: Chaotic Good
    Alias: Great Sage Equaling Heaven, Monkey King, Stone Monkey, Seiten Taisei, Son Goku
    Origin: Chinese Mythology

    Parameters

    Strength: (A)
    Endurance: (B)
    Agility: (A)
    Mana: (C)
    Luck: (C)
    NP: (A+)

    Gender: Male/Female
    Likes: Fighting, Peaches, Monkeys, Horses, Xuanzang?
    Dislikes: Being Sealed, being looked down upon, Infuriating Individuals, Boredom
    Talents: Fighting
    Natural Enemy: Buddha
    Attribute: Earth

    Skills
    Class Skills

    Magic Resistance: (A)
    Grants protection against magical effects. Differing from the resistance effect that merely rejects Magical Energy, this ability cancels the spells altogether. Cancel spells of A-Rank or below, no matter what High-Thaumaturgy it is. In practice, the Servant is untouchable to modern magi, so it would not be an exaggeration to title the Servant a 'Magus Killer'.

    Riding: (A++)
    A class skill denoting the ability to ride mounts and vehicles. He is able to ride every beast and every vehicle. Normally the Riding Skill is not supposed to allow one to ride dragons; however, he is an exception. In Rider’s case, he has a unique trait of being capable of mounting clouds with the use of his Noble Phantasm, something that normally isn’t possible by other riders.

    Personal Skills

    Mystic Eyes: (B-)
    A skill where one has possession of Mystic Eyes, capable of imparting magical effects upon a subject and interfering with the outside world. Known as Huo Yan Jin Jing (Fiery Golden Eyes), Rider possess Mystic Eyes that gives him the power to see hundreds of miles away. Additionally, and more importantly, the ability to unveil the dark auras and evils of demons in disguise. What it does is, should an evil or demonic being trying to use deceit to cover their intentions, such as invisibility or manipulation, their attempts will backfire, revealing their true selves for all to see. Unfortunately, as a side effect, the eye coordination also gives him a weakness to smoke.

    Rider attained these Mystic Eyes in the episode in which he was taken to heaven to be executed for his crimes. Fire, lightning, and edged weapons having no effect on his body, Laozi, the supreme God of Daoism, suggests that they should put Rider inside of the deity’s mystic eight trigrams furnace to reduce him to ashes. They locked Rider in the furnace for forty-nine days. They checked the furnace expecting to see his charred remains; however, Rider jumps out unscathed, and not only that, the intense flames refined his pupils to the color gold, granting him Huo Yan Jin Jing. Proceeding to destroy the crucible, following Heaven’s remaining forces.

    Shapeshift: (A-)
    A skill that refers to both borrowing bodies and appearance change. As once a student of the supreme immortal Daoist Subodhi, his first master, Rider learned the seventy-two transformations methods among a plethora of other skills. These transformations allow him to transform into various animals and objects; such as becoming a giant, a bird, growing multiple arms, or even change genders. However, due to the incomplete transformation, he is unable to get rid of his tail.

    Nature of A Rebellious Spirit: (A)
    The temperament to never remain at one location and never embrace a lord. A wandering star that does not have the capacity to be king nor is capable of finding his own king. Negates the effects of Charisma with the same rank. Possessing many anecdotes of rebellion, many of Rider’s greatest and most memorable feats come from rebelling against the hierarchy or higher order. Such as the episode where Ruler is dragged into hell in chains, where it was his time to die. Refusing to accept death, Rider erased his name from the Book of Life and Death, and waged battle against the denizens of hell. Other episodes include two times in which the Jade Emperor grants a position in Heaven, first as “Keeper of the Heavenly Horses”, and second as “Guardian of the Immortal Peach Groves”. Both times Rider rebels, believing that the positions weren’t good enough, challenging over 100,000 strong heavenly army and the most powerful Buddhist and Daoist gods, only to prevail in the end.

    Neidan: (A+++)
    A skill Rider learned from the supreme immortal Subodhi when he was his student, in search for the secrets of eternal life. Neidan (internal alchemy) is an array of esoteric doctrines and physical, mental, and spiritual practices that Taoist initiates use to prolong life and create an immortal spiritual body that would survive after death. In Neidan, the body becomes a cauldron in which the Three Treasures of Jing (Essence), Qi (Breath), and Shen (Spirit) are cultivated for the purpose of improving physical, emotional, and mental health, and ultimately returning to the primordial unity of the Tao, i.e., become an Immortal.

    Jing (Essence) refers to the energy of the physical body. Based upon the idea that death was caused by depleting one's Jing, Daoist internal alchemy claimed that preserving Jing allowed one to achieve longevity, if not immortality. Similar to the Independent Action, Rider is able to preserve his magical energy, allowing him to sustain his materialization as an existence with a physical body.

    Qi (Breath) is defined as the “natural energy of the universe” and manifests in everyone and everything. Keeping Qi in balance and flowing throughout the body promotes health; preventing sickness. Qi is the central underlying principle in Chinese Martial Arts, as such, Rider gains mastery over this skill as a bonus.

    Shen is the original spirit of the body. Through cultivation on can recover emptiness and live life to their fullest potential. With this, Rider’s body and mind are united, achieving a serene state of mind that can recover from mental interference.


    Noble Phantasms

    Ruyi Jingu Bang
    As You Will Gold Banded Cudgel
    Type: Anti-Unit ~ Anti-Army
    Rank: A+
    Range: 1~100
    Maximum Targets: 1000 people

    The first and most iconic treasure Rider obtained from one of the Dragon Kings, Ao Guang, seeking a magical weapon, for he is too strong for mere earthly weapons. Believing it to be a useless iron pillar, the Dragon Queen suggests to her husband that they give Ruyi Jingu Bang to Rider. The iron glows in response to Rider’s touch, choosing him as its master. By default, the iron pillar’s weight is absurd for anything to be considered a weapon, weighing at approximately nine tons. Although, the cudgel is capable of changing its size in accordance to its master’s wishes. When not in battle, Rider tends to shrink it down to the size of a needle, to tuck it behind his ear.

    It is an indestructible weapon whose main ability is to shrink or grow to his whim, to be as small as a sewing needle or as tall as the sky. Should Rider be summoned as a lancer class, this Noble Phantasm would gain more abilities in addition to increasing its size indefinitely. Though it might not be infinite, it could still grow to unbelievable heights, big enough to wipe out an entire army in one swipe or even thrust into an archer from a hundred miles away. Activating this ability requires invocation, simply thinking it would suffice.

    Due to its indestructible nature, it is theoretically possible to block powerful attacks by using it as a makeshift shield. Though such a feat would be impractical and situational as it would require the opponent to utilize a straight forward single target attack. Moves, such as an omnidirectional explosion, would bypass this option.

    Kusari Gusoku
    Golden Chain Mail
    Type: Anti-Unit (Self)
    Rank: C
    Range: 0
    Maximum Target: 1

    One of the treasures Rider obtained from one of the Dragon Kings, Ao Ming, after defeating them all in a battle. It is an impervious magical armor that protects Rider from all sorts of edged weapons. In effect, all edged weapons that come into contact with Rider will harmlessly bounce off from his Golden Chain Mail unscathed. So, in a battle against Saber’s wielding swords, all attacks that make contact with his body, regardless of sharpness and strength, will be rendered useless as they will just ricochet back. As far as usage goes, this is all this Noble Phantasm does. Against blunt weapons or energy attacks, this armor offers no protection other than being tough, durable armor.

    Fèngchìzǐjinguān
    Phoenix Feather Cap
    Type: Anti-Unit (Self)
    Rank: D
    Range: 0
    Maximum Target: 1

    One of the treasures Rider obtained from one of the Dragon Kings, Ao Qin, after defeating them all in a battle. A crown of feathers of the Fenghuang, it is described as a circlet of red gold adorned with phoenix feathers. Imbued with the essence of the Fenghuang, it symbolizes the union of yin and yang, the duality of two opposites forming an indivisible whole. Two aspects expressing a paradox of simultaneous unity/duality where neither one can exist without the other. Such as light/dark, men/women, expanding/contracting etc.… For as long as Rider wears this Noble Phantasm, he will be subjected to his own personal destiny, separated from the fate of others. Life, to him, will become a journey of ups and downs, a balance between good and evil. Weakness will lead to improvement, peaceful times will be interrupted by action, with despair comes happiness etc. This ability offers an effect similar to an EX Luck stat, in the sense it allows Rider to defy fate. Instead of being lucking however, it makes Rider independent from the flow of fate, having his life being decided not by some external source, but by his own terms and actions.

    In a way, Rider’s way of life is perfect portrayal of yin and yang. From the beginning, he was seen as a demon by gods and through a series of events, rose to a position among the heavens. Only to exiled down earth, returning to his role as a demon. Sometime after this, he met Xuanzang, aided in his journey to the west, and in the end, achieved Buddhahood where his existence transcended that of the other deities. And now, Rider steps down from his throne as the ‘Victorious Fighting Buddha’, where he can continue his never-ending journey, this time, as a Servant.

    Ǒusībùyúnlǚ
    Cloud Walking
    Type: Anti-Unit
    Rank: B
    Range: -
    Maximum Targets: 1

    One of the treasures Rider obtained from one of the Dragon Kings, Ao Run, after defeating them all in a battle. This Noble Phantasm takes the shape of the Cloud-Stepping Boots that Rider wears. Originally, as the name implies, it allows Rider to walk on clouds, or rather, create clouds underneath his feet to walk on. However, due to being in the rider class, the effect is improved drastically. Alternatively, Rider is able to call upon a flying, sentient cloud named ‘Nimbus’.

    As a mount, Nimbus boasts the highest speed amongst other riders. The nimble cloud travels at a pace that is unseen by most servants, traversing across entire battlefields in less than a second. Even servants possessing the highest of agility can only manage to spot a blur if they concentrate hard enough. This makes it especially useful against archer and caster class servants that rely on fighting long distances, as it allows Rider catch up to them instantly.

    What makes Nimbus especially unique is its cloud-like physiology. Due to its gaseous nature, it is incapable of ramming into servants, as it would just phase through. On the other hand, that also makes it nearly impossible to shoot down as most attacks would just phase through it. Although Nimbus is considered a mount, other riders are unable to ride it; only Rider who wears the Cloud-Stepping Boots, can control it without falling through it.


    Character
    -May finish later-
    Last edited by Aridwolverine; September 9th, 2017 at 09:01 PM.

  12. #7532
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aridwolverine View Post
    Sun Wukong
    So...this guy again. The newest live action movie (2017) actually combines him with a bit Chiyou which I found to be rather interesting. The movie is also interesting in that it translates some of the concepts of the Nasuverse fairly well. I mean the final boss literally uses a Reality Marble and both Wukong and Erlang breaks out the Mana Burst Skill fairly routinely in their fights.

    I don't think his stats should be this high as a Rider. Riders start with low stats to begin with and it shouldn't be Wukong's strongest class in any case. Plus all those NPs make up for lower stats.

    You know since nobody else could keep up with Wukong's 72 Transformation, except for Erlang, his Shapeshifting skill really should be higher...A- to account for the obvious tail weakness.

    Never understood why people usually keep giving him ridiculous levels of Chinese Martial Arts. Neidan is much more representative of what he actually got out of his Daoist training and is a much more versatile concept. Martial Arts is a nice bonus and not a feature.

    As for the Phoenix Feather Cap...I can only say that the Chinese Phoenix doesn't do that fiery death and rebirth thing.
    Last edited by Theoneandonlyz; September 6th, 2017 at 12:06 AM.

  13. #7533
    celestial prayer 34's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Theoneandonlyz View Post
    This is certainly a interesting method of implementing a uncommon character.

    His summoner better know what they are doing...

    Anyways you may want to adjust your alignment though. Having everything center text makes this really hard to read. I can guess what you are trying to do but the way you break up the text makes it difficult to follow.
    Yeah, my bad. It seems that a connection trouble caused it.
    EDIT : I will fix it later, when my internet got better.

  14. #7534
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ThirtyFour34 View Post
    Yeah, my bad. It seems that a connection trouble caused it.
    EDIT : I will fix it later, when my internet got better.
    I'm not sure what the issue is in your case, but whenever I post up sheets I find the first time I click submit or preview it destroys all the spacing between paragraphs and crams everything together into a giant unreadable mess. Needless to say I always have to be careful to preview and correct everything before actually submitting the sheet.

  15. #7535
    不死 Undead Aridwolverine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Theoneandonlyz View Post
    So...this guy again. The newest live action movie (2017) actually combines him with a bit Chiyou which I found to be rather interesting. The movie is also interesting in that it translates some of the concepts of the Nasuverse fairly well. I mean the final boss literally uses a Reality Marble and both Wukong and Erlang breaks out the Mana Burst Skill fairly routinely in their fights.

    I don't think his stats should be this high as a Rider. I mean Riders start with low stats to begin with and Rider really shouldn't be Wukong's strongest class in any case. Plus all those NPs make up for lower stats.

    You know since nobody else could keep up with Wukong's 72 Transformation, except for Erlang, his Shapeshifting skill really should be higher...A- to account for the obvious tail weakness.

    Never understood why people usually keep giving him ridiculous levels of Chinese Martial Arts. Neidan is much more representative of what he actually got out of his Daoist training and is a much more versatile concept. Martial Arts is a nice bonus and not a feature.

    As for the Phoenix Feather Cap...I can only say that the Chinese Phoenix doesn't do that fiery death and rebirth thing.
    I suppose Sun Wukong's stats are higher than most other Riders but the thing is is that he's way stronger than most of them. So it would make sense to make him stronger. Plus, his stats are actually comparable to Achilles and Quetzalcoatl. Technically, Achilles is arguably physically stronger in the sense he has + modifiers in strength and agility, in addition to having 5 Noble Phantasms. So I thought Sun Wukong having high stats was justified.

    Yeah, I was contemplating whether or not his transformations should be A- or B-. I chose B-, not because its weak, but because its limited to 72. But I suppose it might make more sense to make A-...

    Actually...I never thought of Neidan. Thanks, I might change it after doing some research.

    Yeah...I really stretched it by giving him the ability of a western phoenix instead of an eastern one huh.

  16. #7536
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aridwolverine View Post
    I suppose Sun Wukong's stats are higher than most other Riders but the thing is is that he's way stronger than most of them. So it would make sense to make him stronger. Plus, his stats are actually comparable to Achilles and Quetzalcoatl. Technically, Achilles is arguably physically stronger in the sense he has + modifiers in strength and agility, in addition to having 5 Noble Phantasms. So I thought Sun Wukong having high stats was justified.

    Yeah, I was contemplating whether or not his transformations should be A- or B-. I chose B-, not because its weak, but because its limited to 72. But I suppose it might make more sense to make A-...

    Actually...I never thought of Neidan. Thanks, I might change it after doing some research.

    Yeah...I really stretched it by giving him the ability of a western phoenix instead of an eastern one huh.
    Achilles has a Skill specifically dedicated to boosting his stats though...his actual base stat line is C+/B/A/C/D. Iskander actually has more than he does. Quetzalcoatl is post F/GO and all the stat inflation that came along with it.

    Still it's not really that big of a deal though. The previous Rider!Wukong from the first thread was a lot worse.

    The Fèng Chì Zǐ Jin Guān was always the odd one out of the 4 treasures since it never seemed to do anything. I guess Wukong used it to taunt people a few times.

    The Feng Huang represented the sky, the celestial bodies, and the five Confucian virtues but none of those were really Wukong's thing either.
    Last edited by Theoneandonlyz; September 6th, 2017 at 12:51 AM.

  17. #7537
    後継者 Successor zikari8's Avatar
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    @Wukong

    Damn, those are some ridiculously powerful NPs. I feel like they could be curbed a bit. Absolute defense to edges, regeneration, and god-speed seem like things that shouldn't be given to these NP's. The later two could be part of other NP's instead.
    Last edited by zikari8; September 6th, 2017 at 12:49 AM.


  18. #7538
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    The Feng Huang also combines and balances Yin and Yang, which in terms of Daoist mysticism is sort of a really big deal. I can see the Fèng Chì Zǐ Jin Guān as a sort of powerful luck amplification artifact.

    It could explain how Wukong basically stumbled his way through Heaven, inadvertently made himself quadruple immortal, increased his power by leaps and bound, gained really nifty Mystic Eyes, survived being literally refined, then utterly embarrassed Heaven when they tried to bring him to task.

    I mean if he was stupidly lucky on top of being ridiculously strong...anything can happen.

    Then after his misadventures under that mountain and he replaced the cap with the headband his overall luck really did take a major downturn...to more familiar Lancer levels.
    Last edited by Theoneandonlyz; September 6th, 2017 at 01:17 AM.

  19. #7539
    不死 Undead Aridwolverine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by zikari8 View Post
    @Wukong

    Damn, those are some ridiculously powerful NPs. I feel like they could be curbed a bit. Absolute defense to edges, regeneration, and god-speed seem like things that shouldn't be given to these NP's. The later two could be part of other NP's instead.
    You think so? I mean, the defense against edge weapons only plays a factor against swordsman that rely on basic attacks. Even Excalibur, although a blade, fires a beam as its Noble Phantasm, which would bypass the armor. It's literally a worse version of Alcides' Pelt of the Divine Beast.

    Remember, the regeneration only works once every 24 hours. Think of God Hand that only gives one extra life. Besides, I might change it later so don't worry. But the God Speed Cloud...be very afraid.

  20. #7540
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aridwolverine View Post
    You think so? I mean, the defense against edge weapons only plays a factor against swordsman that rely on basic attacks. Even Excalibur, although a blade, fires a beam as its Noble Phantasm, which would bypass the armor. It's literally a worse version of Alcides' Pelt of the Divine Beast.
    I agree that the armor NP isn't as hax as it sounds. Hitting someone with a hunk of nearly indestructible steel at Servant-level speed is bound to do some major damage, even if you ignore the actual cutting effect. I mean, Herc's "sword" is basically just a giant slab of rock, and look how destructive it can be.

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