Sulla 2.0: Given his personality, I wonder if Ivan's Contradictive Mind Skill could be appropriate here.
Sulla 2.0: Given his personality, I wonder if Ivan's Contradictive Mind Skill could be appropriate here.
I did actively consider that, but the thing about Sulla is that he doesn't consider himself an emperor or someone of absolute power. He became a tyrant because he felt it was the best course of action, not because of deep seated beliefs. It's why he struggles a lot more with his personality than Ivan, whose Absoluteness (TM) lets him have both.
Masamune's swords were supposed to be filled with serenity to contrast Muramasa's bloodthirstiness, so maybe Vitrification? Or perhaps an original Skill like Chiron's to represent how he taught so many famous disciples.Originally Posted by Lambda-Nu
Last edited by RoydGolden; July 6th, 2018 at 10:57 PM.
Item Creation: EX
Although only limited to swords, Saber can create weapons equating the might of Noble Phantasms.
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Lambda-Nu already mentioned the sword-only Item Construction idea. But yeah, that could definitely work.
Hmm... out of curiosity how do people feel about taking artistic licence when it comes to the Lore sections of a sheet?
Mainly I'm in the middle of a sheet and I was thinking about how to flesh out the character and in the past I would just give a bullet point list of their history, only mentioning objective facts. But re-reading my past sheets I can see that is a bit stale and instead I was thinking of diving into the murkier bits of their history and potentially choosing between theories as to why unclear events happened in order to give a better view into the mindset of the Servant and their personality.
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I say go for it. We have things like Edmond Dantès fighting Roa and a Dead Apostle appearing in the middle of the Crusades, so why not?
I think some artistic license is good (certainly Nasu does it). Personally, I rarely bother to read lore sections unless there's some interesting twist, rather than just dryly surmising facts.
Honestly if I see the lore section is just a wikipedia article I barely skim through it. Giving a brief overview of who they are and focusing on what's actually relevant for this aspect of the character is way better, regardless of how important or real these facts actually were to the historical figure.
What pinetree said, while it is important, Lore tend to be the weakest part of a sheet. A summary of what is important to the sheet will be enough. If I don't bring anything new to their lore, I tend to fuse the lore with their wish, mindset, and personality.
On artistic license, each person seems to have different opinions about it. Judging from the canon one, some people dislike lack of accuracy in their clothing (ex: Saber and plate armor), while some are very ok with it. When there are two (or more) different cycle IRL, TM tend to fuse them and make their own version, which seems pretty alright with many people. But the most controversial is something like Attila, where the creative license (Velber, Sefar, and aliens) overshadow the hero identity that it almost unimportant. So IMO, you can make your own interpretation without overriding their real lore.
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This is an interesting dilemma and probably has at least a couple different answers depending on the exact context. But to start with, I'll lay out the things I appreciate in the concept of a "Historical Figure Main Character".
First, Heroic Spirits are representations of archetypes and struggles. Exceptional individuals from legend or fact that have had great resonance with the surrounding culture, immortalizing them in cultural memory. In general, Heroic Spirits make for excellent characters in fiction. Probably not surprising since many of them were fictional characters and those who weren't led lives that have inspired many works of fiction. Their struggles and beliefs and motivations can be used to contextualize conflicts since many of them have been turned into archetypes themselves. Their problems and stories often remain relatable to this day. That's how Kiritsugu and Saber can argue about the nature of warfare, because she comes from a time and place where ideals and virtues were valued, as modern battle is a dispassionate endeavor of reducing your enemy to a state where they cannot defend themselves anymore. Medusa is Sakura's servant because of the similarities in their past and is why Rider is so protective of her. Heracles once killed his family because of divine machinations, Ilyasviel lost hers because of the Grail. Basically, a Heroic Spirit's value in fiction is largely determined by how well their legend is utilized on in the story.
Second, Heroic Spirits are people beyond their legend. I mentioned that most Heroic Spirits are accepted as archetypes or symbols of a given idea. This can actually be detrimental to a character, reducing them (or maybe ascending them) to the status of an idea and not a person. I find the representations of mythical figures in Fate compelling because I feel that (within the Nasuverse world) they are and were actually people with personalities and opinions that sometimes differ from their respective legends while still being recognizable as themselves. These traits are utilized and expanded upon in the fiction, like with Cu Chulainn starting out as an antagonist - as he wasn't above some questionable deeds - but generally a likeable and selfless fellow, or Medea's infatuation with Soichirou that's directly connected to the interpretation of her legend in Nasuverse. While a lot of Japanese clichés and tropes have a tendency of worming in (like some of the GO servants), many of them are at least tangentially relevant and others feel delightfully unique.
To finally get into the point of this ramble, I feel that creative interpretation of Heroic Spirits is absolutely needed for a proper work of creative fiction. However, those changes should always do homage to the legend or person in particular, either expanding on them or contrasting them so we never forget the inspiration of this figure. Heroic Spirits are heroic for a reason, and straying too far away from those qualities and personalities will make the work lesser. To make a rhetorical question: "What's the point of using a historical character if all they have in common is the name?"
There is definitely a good balance that can be maintained, though. Mythical or historical figures cannot exist in a derivative work of modern fiction without taking liberties, especially as character driven as the Fate series tends to be. But I've always respected TM for doing their due diligence when it comes to research, at least most of the time.
But many of these pitfalls can be avoided if the story either revolves around or is related to the themes present in the Heroic Spirit's legends. Stay Night and Zero function as stories on the assumption that the Servants act as they do. So when you create fiction with servants, you choose which servants fit the themes of the story or let the servants drive the story themselves. In either case the end result takes advantage of the materials it's constructed with.
Jersey Devil
Class: Berserker
Other Applicable Classes: Foreigner
Alignment: Neutral Mad
Sex: Male
Height: 143 cm
Weight: 29 kg
Armament: Nothing
STR: D+
CON: C+
AGI: B+
MGI: B
LCK: E
Noble Phantasm: B+
Legend
The boy who would become the Jersey Devil was born an unwanted child to the Leeds family of the New Jersey Pine Barrens. The Leeds Family were mages of a declining line and of recent origin. In their desperation to create a suitable heir, produced twelve children, all with no sign of magical circuits. The thirteenth child born to Mother Leeds, the one who would become the Jersey Devil, was cursed by his mother upon his difficult birth. As he grew, it soon became clear to Mother Leeds that her son was a prodigy. His magical circuits were an aberration for someone of her weak blood; their quantity and quality were significantly higher than those of anyone she had ever met. She felt pride in her son, but as he grew older she began to resent just how quickly magical concepts were coming to him. He was able to cycle mana through his circuits before he was even able to walk and he cast his first magecraft before he could speak. She grew to hate him as he was a living symbol of her own failure. She stripped him of the name she had given him, saying a creature like him didn’t deserve one. She pushed him further and harder. Nothing he could accomplish would be good enough to regain her love. The boy did all he could, but it was never enough. He was now just an extra mouth to feed, a waste of skin, and a monster. When Mother Leeds could no longer bear to look at him, she dragged him out into the forest and left him there.
But he managed to survive despite the misfortune of his birth. He hunted, he scavenged, he stole, he did whatever he could to survive in the cold, unforgiving wilderness. Without proper training, his magecraft stagnated and he could do little more than reinforce himself. In time, farmers began to fear the wild boy who lived out in the forest. They blamed him for missing children, dead livestock, and misfortune. He tried to reach out to them, to convince them that he was human just like them and to clear his name, but each and every time he failed. His voice would fail him or his reinforcement would activate on its own or he would bolt away in fear the moment he saw them. Rumors began to circulate. The boy was a devil, summoned by the old witch who lived on the hill. He was a monster, sent down by God to punish those who resisted the British Crown. Eventually, the townspeople would send in hunters to get rid of him as a “beast” and clergymen to get rid of him as a “demon.”
The last years of his life were lived in fear from the constant intrusions into his home. A group of experienced hunters managed to come the closest to killing him; they were trained exorcists from the Mage’s Association, originally sent to investigate the Leeds family but now tasked with removing the evil spirit of the woods. They realized quickly that while he wasn’t a phantasmal creature, he was a threat to the normalcy of the local area. After an arduous few weeks, they cornered him near a lake rumored to be a bottomless abyss. Without any options left, the boy dived deep into the clear, blue water. He pushed his body further and further, deeper and deeper into the lake. The freezing cold and the violent movement of the water strained his flesh, but he kept going in fear of being caught. The surface always seemed too close. The voices of the hunters kept ringing in his ears. There was nowhere else he could go.
He never resurfaced. Even after his lone and unmourned death as a human, sightings of a “monster” stalking the New Jersey countryside were reported up until the modern day. The rumors surrounding his family’s magical ability allowed Benjamin Franklin, founding father and rival of the Leeds family head, to drum up rumors that the Leeds cavorted with Satan and birthed a demon. Of course these rumors weren’t true, but they were believable given the reclusive nature of mages and the fact that the Leeds were known to publish occult literature.
Tactics
He has trouble acting like a “normal” child and is generally scared of humans. Traditional-style masters would tend to treat him as they would any other Berserker: like a beast. Lamentably, the Jersey Devil is accustomed to this sort of treatment and is more comfortable when treated this way. If a master treats him kindly, he is immediately suspicious of them. He tends to try really hard to follow orders as well as he possibly can despite his Mad Enhancement. A throwaway compliment is enough to make him try harder since he’s starved for affection. His B-rank Magical Energy, unusually high for a Berserker, means he won’t strain his master as much as a Berserker normally would. It’s just another way that he tries to be as innocuous for his Master as possible.
Since he doesn’t have much control over his Innocent Monster skill he can be an unpredictable opponent in combat. As he also becomes extremely violent when cornered, he can effectively counter attack in even the most dire situations. His Broken Scream of the Unwanted skill helps put him into these dangerous situations. It’s best to treat him as a ticking time bomb unless you have a very strong rapport with him.
The Foreigner class container proposes a different end for the Jersey Devil: trapped in an abyss, he calls out for his mother and a kind voice replies...
Class Abilities
Mad Enhancement: BA rank up for all parameters, but a Mad Enhancement skill of this rank takes away most sanity. The Jersey Devil is not mindless, but his speech is slow and broken. He has trouble expressing what he wants, which typically leads to misunderstandings. His Mad Enhancement manifests as “fear” rather than “rage,” but it is a fear to which he responds violently.
Personal Skills
Innocent Monster: EXThe feral child who served as the model for the “Jersey Devil Legend” now possesses the traits of the monster he inspired. His hands and feet end in bloodstained claws, his eyes will periodically switch from a human’s to those of any number of different animals, horns eventually grow from his head the longer he is in service, and wings can sprout from his back when needed. When he becomes scared, this skill goes haywire and he begins to manifest animal parts at random, making him something like a chimera. There is a low chance of draconic body parts to manifest.
Broken Scream of the Abomination: BA variant skill based on Hollow Lament of the Falsely Living. A Skill where the Servant is capable of emitting an immense scream, temporarily robbing enemies and allies alike of their ability to think and respond; those who do not expect it or are incapable of the mental resilience to withstand it may temporarily lose their ability to breathe. The effectiveness of this skill is raised with Mad Enhancement.
Once the initial fear effect wears off, it is replaced with a powerful compulsion to destroy the “cause” of that fear as soon as possible. The reason of the victims of this skill is weakened as they ignore their defenses and focus on destruction.
Hedge Magic: CA skill representing knowledge of thaumaturgy gained by experience, not through being taught the magecraft of a specific school. The Jersey Devil’s talent went unrefined, so he is unaware of concepts like “magic circuits” and “mana.” He is capable of performing basic reinforcement and healing magic. He is also able to copy simple spells upon viewing them once, though the knowledge disappears after a few rounds due to his Mad Enhancement. An unfortunate fate for a prodigy.
Noble Phantasm
Azure AbyssThe Only Peace for the Unwanted is Oblivion
Rank: B+
Type: Anti-Unit Noble Phantasm
Range: 1~10
Maximum Targets: 15
A Noble Phantasm that subjects the victim to the Jersey Devil’s ignoble death in a virtually infinite expanse of formless blue water. This lonely fate is recreated as a powerful illusion on an individual basis despite being able to be inflicted on multiple people at once. At once, the victim is transported into an expanse of clear blue water that seems to go on into infinity. The darkness of the “bottom” and the brightness of the “top” seem unreachable despite how far or hard the victim swims. Regardless of any abilities the victim may have possessed in reality, they will soon begin to drown as water currents begin to form. The water temperature will drop and the pressure will rise. As time passes, the water will become higher and higher in pressure until it passes the pressure of the deepest part of the ocean. At that moment, the illusion ends and the victim’s corpse is left waterlogged and bloated from the eternity it spent in the illusionary world. Drowning in the illusion imposes the same effect on the victim in real life.
The only way to escape is to possess that which the Jersey Devil “lacked” in life: a connection to a loved one. While inside the illusion, that connection manifests as a “voice” that guides the person to the “exit.” However, escape is not as simple as following that voice. You have to have both the ability to recognize the voice as “escape” as well as possess the conviction to keep swimming despite how futile it seems. Having high mental interference resistance helps make the latter part easier, but it does not nullify or lessen the effects of this Noble Phantasm.
This Noble Phantasm is only activated by making the Jersey Devil remember his own death. Upon doing so, it automatically activates and imposes itself on at most 15 targets within 10 meters of him. Unless a Command Seal is used, or a sufficiently strong rapport with the Servant is established, the list of targets includes his Master. A Command Seal can be used to either remove oneself from the list of targets or to end the effect prematurely. Typically, the Jersey Devil will have a flashback to his death when he is about to take a fatal blow during a Grail War. This makes its use most commonly a form of “mutually assured destruction.”
The Blue Hole is a bottomless lake in New Jersey strongly associated with the Jersey Devil. Most of the sightings of the “monster” are said to center around this lake. Perhaps his wraith continues to haunt the lake to this day?
Relationships
Author's Notes
Last edited by gyrowins; July 9th, 2018 at 12:40 PM.
Thats a unexpected view to see This Cryptid as Servant although i dont see the foreigner Version i must say excelent Interpretation !
if someone want to seea a good documentary of the(animalic) Deviil look here > https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qT4R6jAZl3A
Your verified Chikara-production Studios !
Dont ship me with anyone unless i say so !
When you wake a Dragon in his Lair...
Dark YoungJersey Devil
Class: Foreigner
Other Applicable Classes: Berserker
Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
Sex: Male
Height: 179 cm
Weight: 55 kg
Armament: Nothing
STR: C
CON: C
AGI: C
MGI: B
LCK: A
Noble Phantasm: A
Legend
The unwanted child of a magus family, forced to eke out a living of his own deep in the forests of the New Jersey countryside. He hunted and fought everyday to ensure his continued existence, but he soon became an object of fear and revulsion for the locals. They banded together in their terror and hired mages to destroy the Devil who haunted their woods. They, unlike the others who came before them, were successful in driving him off. They cornered him around a bottomless lake that would serve as his final resting place. He swam, deep into that endless blue abyss. His body began to strain, his mind raced with desperate thoughts, his heart cried out in agony both physical and spiritual. He called out in desperation for the only thing he could think of in that moment: he called for his mother…
...and a voice responded. A voice familiar yet alien. The cold abyss gave way to an all-encompassing darkness. Despite it all, the boy did not feel fear, but was instead comforted. There was no longer pain, nor fear, nor hunger, only the embrace of She who had answered his call for help. He asked for her name, but she asked him only to call her Mother. A surrogate mother, but a mother nevertheless. This was enough for him, he whose only mother had thrown him into a desolate forest in her blind jealousy. It was so that the Devil came to be adopted by her, by the Mother of the Black Wood. Unlike the rest of her kin, this enigmatic Mother was willing to take Humanity’s side in the upcoming conflict against the other Outer Gods called in by a demon in a desperate bid to subjugate mankind.
With her assistance, he was able to burst out of that blue infinity and back into the waking world. Horns sprouting from his head, wings from his back, he flew up into the sky past the mages who were left bewildered at the sight. He was seen, time and time again, well past the time when he was supposed to have died in that azure abyss. The humans continued to fear him, of course, but he paid them no mind. Even when one manage to successfully hit him with a cannonball, he forgave them and went on his way. After all, he no longer had a reason to hold any grudges against them; his Mother’s will was much more important.
The Devil has matured. He has blossomed into a young man knowledgeable about matters beyond human understanding. While originally fearful and unwilling to help humanity, the guidance of his Mother has led him to change his opinion. He now views humans as creatures similar to what he once “was”: scared animals that do not understand the nature of the world. She has groomed him into her representative among mortals, which is a fact he takes much pride in. He’s decided to do the best he can in the fight to save humanity, even if he's not too happy about the overall situation.
Tactics
Much like his Berserker counterpart, the Jersey Devil does not actively seek conflict. This is a decision made by choice rather than as a result of fear. He has learned to choose his battles, to assess the risk involved and act accordingly. Even his summoning is scrutinized; this aspect of the Jersey Devil does not appear unless Human Order is threatened by the involvement of Outer Gods. A manifestation in a typical Grail War is an ill omen.
He typically fights using nothing more than his bare, clawed hands and feet. This is assuming, of course, that an opponent has overcome the Horrors he can summon to do his bidding, or surpassed the Mental Interference he can project. In close range, he is able to utilize his Existence Outside the Domain skill for a fighting style reminiscent of a more controlled version of his Innocent Monster-fueled Berserker rages.
The Jersey Devil may seem a bit conceited, but this is due to his sense of noblesse oblige, or his inferred responsibility to take care of the creatures who know not of what lies on the other side of the curtain.
Class Abilities
Existence Outside the Domain: EXThe nature of a Foreigner class servant as a “being owned by a god not of this world.” This skill grants a strong resistance to effects that would alter the state of the servant, such as mental interference or other enchantments. As a result of this skill, however, the Servant’s physiology is altered to reflect the nature of their patron deity. In the Jersey Devil’s case, these manifest as a permanent set of horns and animal ears. As time goes on, these traits will take a turn for the eldritch, as he gains the ability to sprout a myriad tentacles from his back and summon mouths onto any part of his body.
Divinity: BA measure of divine aptitude that allows a servant to break through special defenses. Foreigner class servants are not true divinities, but as mortal agents of Outer Gods they are granted a measure of higher-dimensional status.
Counter Hero: BA skill that reduces the parameters of the statistics of “heroes” that the Servant faces in combat. His skill is limited to “Counter Priest,” a limitation that raises the rank of this skill significantly. In this case, it becomes something that demonstrates an enhanced ability to locate and eradicate the cultists of other Outer Gods. He knows their typical hiding places, the encryption of their secret messages, and the significance of their holy days. Of course, the religious officials of other, less nefarious faiths would also suffer from this skill, but harbors no ill will against them. Interestingly, he does not consider himself a cultist.
Personal Skills
Hedge Magic (Abyss): AThe Devil’s Hedge Magic has been refined to incorporate the summoning magic used by Old God cults throughout the ages. He is able to summon any of his brothers, a species of Horror known as “Dark Young,” as well as any other sort of horror that might infest the depths of a place beyond reality. He retains the ability to copy a spell he sees performed, though now he is able to store up to three copied spells in his memory indefinitely.
Beast of Liminality: CThe existence of the servant as a creature that stalks the edge of human consciousness. The primordial forest, a perpetually unknown territory antithetical to civilization itself, is the domain of the Mother of the Black Wood. The Jersey Devil is a creature that patrols the border between her realm and that of man. Plus modifiers are granted when facing an opponent that "rejects" the world, such as one with a Reality Marble or one that possesses excessive Mystery.
Maddening Chant: BA skill that signals the coming of the Mother of the Black Wood through droning, amelodic chanting. The “song” creates a strong mental interference that temporarily decreases the Agility and Luck of all enemies who hear it. Negates the effects of musical skills, such as Harp of Healing, below B rank. This skill is mutually negated by musical skills of the same rank, however.
Innocent Monster: -The effects of Innocent Monster have been folded into the skill Existence Outside the Domain. It feels as though a weight has been lifted off his shoulders...
Noble Phantasm
Akerbeltz NuminaThe All-Mother’s Presence Shall be Known
Rank: A
Type: Anti-Army Noble Phantasm
Range: 1~25
Maximum Targets: 100
Ryula, zugkharra n’durandi neb ath Gof’nn Hupadgh!
Onward, past the intonation of the accursed ones!
Mother, the pillar at the center of madness!
Come, let’s go meet her together!
Iä! Iä! Akerbeltz Numina!
A Noble Phantasm representing the internal connection that has been created between the Jersey Devil and his adopted mother. The Blue Hole, a bottomless lake in the New Jersey countryside, became the “place of meeting” between the two and now serves as a catalyst for the crystallization of this event into a Noble Phantasm.
This Noble Phantasm starts with a literal step into the unknown. As the Jersey Devil continues to walk forward, chanting the aria of activation, a bright blue circle appears and spreads outwards underneath him. Any targets within a cylindrical area delineated by that circle are slowly pulled into it, as though sucked in by an immense “gravity.” Targets will feel as though they are wading through a powerful adhesive which greatly impedes their movement. The Jersey Devil is also pulled downwards, but he does not experience the sluggishness that comes with it.
As the last line of the aria is spoken, the blue area immediately darkens into a deep, light-absorbing black. At this point, the gravity becomes greatly magnified, quickly accelerating the immersion of anyone still above the “event horizon.” It is possible to resist this with one’s Mana or Luck stat, but the target’s mana is rapidly drained and they begin to take sustained damage regardless.
Those who fail that parameter check are dragged alongside the Jersey Devil into a space outside of time and reality itself. There, they are brought face to face with the impossible, fleshy mass of undulating tentacles, teeth, and effluent that is the Mother of the Black Wood. Understandably, the sight of her creates mental and physical distortions, which in turn cause major damage. The Jersey Devil, blind in his adoration, does not see her for what she truly is. Those who survive the encounter are dropped unceremoniously back into reality after what might seem to be only a minute or two, but what felt like an eternity for the victim.
Relationships
Author's Notes
Last edited by gyrowins; July 9th, 2018 at 01:12 PM.
Jersey Devils: We really need more Cryptid servants, and this is a perfect representation of one of the most interesting Cryptids out there. I love the personality divergences between the two. Two distinct sides of the same story/person. I love the Broken Scream of the Abomination skill, mainly because we don't see Hollow Lament of the Falsely Living enough in servants. I know everyone makes their own projects independently, but I think a skill similar to Hakuro's Cryptid Mysterious Nature might be beneficial. Representing that they are Cryptids in nature, able to elude man just barely throughout time. Maybe with Berserker having it at a higher rank due to rejecting it, and Foreigner higher due to embracing it? Anyway, just a thought.
Last edited by Xaodzilla; July 9th, 2018 at 04:23 PM.
This is awesome, I love it! And that's coming from someone who doesn't like Foreigners.
Jersey Devils: These are some of the best sheets I've ever seen! This is remarkably well thought-out and one of my favorites so far. Good job.
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I've suddenly had the inspiration to delve into the rabbit-hole that is a Genghis Khan sheet... except I'm taking the "Lostbelt approach" to it. This can only end in wondrous ways.
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Doing it. Basically I'm going all-out on the whole "connector to heaven" that Genghis Khan proclaimed he was, and am making him become one with mountain god Burkhan Khaldun. Historically he was the one who deified the mountain as sacred after it provided as a refuge for him in a dire time, but in this context I am establishing that there was already a god residing there. The god knew that Genghis would one day become a conqueror of the world, thus it granted him power. In the context of the Lostbelt, however, it needed him to become more and thus became one with him.
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