Create-a-Servant

[Verg Avesta]

Don't do it! EXTRA will live again!

It will? Then, I guess I don't post Caster then ^^;

Though I must say, I was kinda surprised. Caster would have had more problems with Bloble's character than Buster's.

[Lycodrake]

Alright, I'm going ahead and posting this, however pitiful it might be...
Note that, like a few before this, it was made for the EXTRA RP.

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Servant Lancer
True Identity: Hippolyta

STR - A
AGI - B
END - B (A)
MGI - D
LCK - C
NP - B


Class and Personal Skills:

Battle Continuation - B

Magic Resistance - B (A)

Divinity - C+

Military Tactics - B

Eye of the Mind (True) - C


Noble Phantasms:

Enyo - Blood and Strife Following War
Type - Anti-Unit
Rank - B

Each injury inflicted reduces the enemy's END by one "+" alongside the physical damage. As long as the curse is not lifted by defeating Lancer or breaking Enyo, the character loses an additional "+" to END for each change of Phase during the day (Morning, Mid-Day, Afternoon, and Night being Phases). This would reduce an enemy's END by a full Rank for each day they have an injury, not counting what would happen if you dealt more than one wound in a single battle. However, the maximum it can remove is two full ranks, i.e. A to C. In addition, Enyo ranks up once for every two ranks removed from the enemy.


The Girdle - ???
Type - Support
Rank - B

Girdle given to Hippolyta by her father Ares, which was said to grant her near-invincibility. False, but this Noble Phantasm boosts her END and Magic Resistance to A Rank, as well as making any damage taken by blade and elemental damage greatly reduced.

[I3uster]

It's kinda bare-bones, but from a design perspective it's not too bad. You should just write out justifications for the skills, and flesh out the NP descriptions.

[ScarletWeather]

@Bloble: ...My god the first Beowulf. I need to get on my version like, immediately xD

In all seriousness the Giant's Sword was by far the most giggle-worthy part of the whole profile, though I'm... kiiiiind of iffy on Naegling coming back after it breaks, given it was Beowulf's last sword and death tale. And really, the poor guy can't keep a sword together for more than one battle against a gigantic monster :<

@13Luster: ....The personality seems far more interesting than the Servant actually given that brief description. Not that the profile's got anything wrong with it, it's just that the combination of 'healing phantasm' plus 'priest' plus 'Saber' plus THE LOOOOOORD can really only end in me forever imagining him as Father Anderson.

@G-Man: Thanks! Daneel's actually got me beat on writers-who-actually-qualify as Servants though, and unlike me he actually did the research. Comparatively this Dante is pretty thrown together- I need to actually look up timelines again, the five-week limit is a placeholder that's supposed to be the length of time estimated to be what Dante actually takes to complete his journey through hell, purgatory, and heaven in the Comedy.

@Apple: ....Oh my god an assassin who kills like... an asssassin.

...WITCHCRAFT!

@Lyco: Agreeing with sentiments regarding expansion, the profile doesn't seem bad. Though doesn't a "+" indicate plus one more numerical equivalent of the letter-Rank it's associated with (for example, something that's C+ has 30 + one more 30, so more actual power than B while still not being legendary/mysterious enough to Rank Up to that point?)

and now for something exactly the same.

Class: Saber

True Name: Beowulf

Parameters-

Strength- A (B) (C)
Agility- B (C)
Endurance- B (C)
Magic- C (D)
Luck- D
Noble Phantasm- A (C)

Class Skills-

Magic Resistance- B- Not just a trait of the Saber class but a resistance against magecraft granted due to the strength of it within his own time, Saber is not affected by spells of B-Rank or lower, though he can still be harmed by High Thaumaturgy and Greater Rituals.

Riding- B- The skill to control or operate mounts and vehicles. At this rank, Beowulf can ride any animal or vehicle with ease, but the likes of the Phantasmal Races or Dragons are beyond him.

Personal Skills-

Blood Grief- A- The Servant is a fighter bound to a strict code of honor demanding vengeance for the death of a friend, retainer, or relative. Once an enemy has harmed or killed one close to Saber, he will be able to track them to any location, and fate itself will contort until he has a chance to face them in single combat.

Bravery- A+- Courage beyond normal comprehension. Negates the effect of Mental Interference magecraft which would cause fear or similar effects of the same rank. In addition, at this rank, it can provide strength bonuses.

Charisma- B- The talent to lead others. B Rank is suitable for the king of a nation. Provides bonuses to allies in group battles. (Initially sealed)

Monstrous Strength (False)- B - Not a Monstrous Spirit in any way, Beowulf is the one described as a monster when fighting Grendel, capable of overpowering and ripping off the arm of the ferocious creature as a trophy with only the strength of his arms. A facsimile of Monstrous Strength exhibited when the Servant fights an opponent with Strength equal to or higher than his own. Strength is granted a temporary Rank-Up for the duration of combat.

Noble Phantasms

Champion's Boast- A Declaration of Triumph -Anti-Unit (Self)/Support- EX- A Phantasm with an effect which cannot be measured,. Saber, before entering combat, may make a personal vow and declaration imposing one or more constraints upon himself, which must be consistent with his personal honor code. After doing so, as long as he fights within the conditions set upon himself, fate will- rather than moving itself necessarily to be in Saber's favor- create a situation in which "it is possible for Saber to accomplish the feat he boasted he would attain". While the odds may not necessarily be in Saber's favor, there will never be a point during the combat where it is "impossible" for him to achieve victory within the conditions of his challenge.

Beyond the Sword- Tale of the Hero-Anti-Unit- C-A: Though he wielded no less than three blades in his life, two of which had illustrious histories extending to before his birth, Saber was a hero not especially favored by his blades- all three swords given to him shattered before his death, each one bringing to a close one more chapter of his life. As such, while he wields blades which in all respects resembling these three, Saber's true Noble Phantasm is not the legendary swords of Hrunting, Naegling, or the giant-forged blade, but instead portions of his legend and being crystallized into blades. When Saber begins the Grail War, his attributes are greatly reduced due to the amount of his legend poured within the blades he carries. Only one blade is manifested at a time, and each has their own unique properties. Common to all, however, is the fact that when Saber faces an enemy he cannot defeat with the blade he currently carries, he may shatter the Phantasm, absorbing its power back into his own legend and ranking up his attributes until he grows closer to his full strength. As a further bonus, since each blade is effectively crystallized prana, the shattering of the first two will actually heal Beowulf's wounds and restore him. Once Saber shatters a blade, he may never recreate it, as the effects of shattering are to slowly 'retell' his legend, guiding him back through the stages of his life.

The three blades carry their own ranks and traits:

Hrunting- C- The weakest of the swords in terms of mystery and power, yet the strongest in terms of bloodlust. Simply unsheathing this blade strikes fear into enemies, as they feel as if they are facing the massed warriors of an ancient kingdom. Has the bonus effect of appearing to increase Saber's "monstrous" attributes, causing him to be perceived as a being closer to a demon when his own bloodlust awakens than a human being. When it shatters, Saber's Strength and Magic parameters permanently Rank Up as he absorbs his past as a warrior hero.

The Giant's Sword - C+ - The strangest of the swords in terms of form, the Giant's Blade is a broadsword which requires at least Rank B of Strength to properly wield, and which Beowulf can use as a makeshift tower shield due to its width. The blade possesses strong "Anti-Monster" attributes due to the purpose Beowulf used the original for, and grants a bonus in power when he attempts to use it to shatter any form of magical defense, charm, or barrier such as bounded fields. Shattering the sword returns Saber's attributes to the point when they were at their greatest and unlocks his Charisma skill, returning to him the portions of his legend which show his person and kingdom to be mightier and surpassing that of the kingdom Hrunting represented. Furthermore, it grants Saber access to his final blade.

Naegling - B (A+) - The blade of a ruler. While Saber's previous two blades contained the legend of his rise to power and his strength as a hero, it is Naegling which differs, instead containing his ultimate fate, his greatest defeat and victory. Ordinarily Naegling is a wondrous blade suitable for a hero, but unremarkable beyond granting additional bonuses in group battles due to its symbolic significance to Saber's rule. It is when Saber faces an insurmountable foe, however, that the blade may show its true nature- should Saber break the sword with his own power, against the enemy's armor or weapons or body, it will release the "ultimate fate of the hero Beowulf" contained within- an explosion of prana which resembles a "curse" more than a regular attack, instantly casting Saber's immediate foe in the role of the dragon who ended the life of Beowulf, and replicating in Saber's body the same mortal wounds which brought him to his death. With Naegling's breaking, Saber can no longer avoid his fate, and will be mortally wounded beyond where any healing spell can hope to save him , passing from the world within minutes of breaking his last sword and ending his reign once more. His opponent's death is all but guaranteed.

[Lycodrake]

It's kinda bare-bones, but from a design perspective it's not too bad. You should just write out justifications for the skills, and flesh out the NP descriptions.

Like I said, it's pretty much only a skeleton. Not sure how much I could really add to it, though...

[Spinach]

Mm, once I get home I might post Renaud, since it's no secret who he was, lol.

[I3uster]

Well, look at the other skills and stuff in this thread, and try to expand on the description while tying them to things attributed to the HS.

And Scarlet: Yeah, that was kinda the intention. The Master was this pragmatic Executor, also a true believer, but he thought that God only helps those who help themselves, while Saber just ran into battle like a berserker hoping that the big guy helps him out when he screws up, since "it is His will that we claim the Grail" and stuff. Made character interaction pretty fun to write.

[Daneel Rush]

This will be my last Servant for a while, so let's make it a Berserker for crazy funtimes.

*******
*******

GALVARINO

Servant: Berserker

Gender: Male
Height: 161 cm
Weight: 77 kg

Alignment: Lawful Insane


Appearance: A well-built man of rough features and tanned, coppery skin. Long, unkempt hair gives him a well-deserved ‘wild’ appearance, and three feathers of red, orange and black colors adorn the crown of his head. He has a rather large nose, with a high bridge and wide nostrils, squeezed between small dark brown eyes. His lips seem to be stuck in a permanent sneer, even when he does not mean to appear demeaning. His torso is completely exposed, adorned by long collars of colorful stones and the teeth of small animals. He only wears short cloth pants under a pareo-like piece of black cloth. Thick leather boots protect his feet.




Strength B
Endurance A
Agility C
Magic D
Luck D
Noble Phantasm D


Class Skills:
* Mad Enhancement: Raises basic parameters in exchange of hindering mental capacities.

B – Rank up for all parameters, but takes away most of sanity. Changes are included in the stats above.

Personal Skills:
* Battle Continuation: The strength of vitality for predicaments. Also, the ability to withdraw from combat and reach allied territory alive after being defeated.

B – As long as no decisively fatal injuries are taken, Galvarino is in no way hampered by physical damage. Awareness of pain is virtually non-existent.

* Bravery: The ability to negate mental interference such as pressure, confusion and fascination. Not usable under the effects of Mad Enhancement.

B+ – Bonus effect of increasing critical rate at the cost of reduced armor class.

* Charisma: The natural talent to command an army. Increases the ability of allies during group battles.

C+ – The army’s ability in battle is not enhanced, but morale of troops is protected from effects that would diminish it. Furthermore, the skill remains active even if under the effects of Mad Enhancement.

Noble Phantasms:
* Coñaripe – The Exultant Retribution
Type: Anti-Unit
Rank: D
Range: 1-2
Maximum number of targets: 1 person

The exaltation of the inexhaustible Mapuche warrior, unbroken by defeat and humiliation. When lesser men would have surrendered, the Mapuche stands proud and unwavering, with eyes like an eagle, seeking the right moment to enact furious retribution. The greater the insult, the hotter the rage boiling deep inside, waiting to be released in a glorious maelstrom of violence. Coñaripe means “The Way of the Warrior” in Mapudungun.

The weapons Galvarino attached to the stumps of his hands are long, rhomboidal double-edged blades, more closely resembling spear tips than swords. While in life they were bound to his forearms with strips of cloths, as a Heroic Spirit they have become authentic extensions of his body. Galvarino cannot be disarmed except by completely chopping his arms at least at the elbow.

Upon calling the name of the Noble Phantasm, the twin blades begin to glow with a faint scarlet tone. The blades become a ‘record of one’s grudge’. As Galvarino suffers damage from whatever source, the red coloration of the blades becomes stronger, as if they were being gradually stained with fresh blood. Such is the mark of the curse of retribution the weapons carry, and which Galvarino can unleash at any point he so wishes after invoking the name of the Noble Phantasm. The attack which carries the record of all the suffering inflicted on Galvarino may then inflict the same amount of damage on the target of his retribution on a successful hit. Since the prana cost of activating the Noble Phantasm and unleashing the curse is almost unfairly small, the Berserker Galvarino is likely to not bother accumulating damage in the blades for a single devastating attack, instead mindlessly following an ‘eye for an eye’ strategy.


Background
Exalted berserker warrior of the Mapuche, Galvarino. Together with Caupolicán and Lautaro, one of the three great martial Mapuche luminaries of the Arauco War and one of the great native Chilean heroes. His tale was recorded in war chronicles such as Jerónimo de Vivar’s Crónica y relación copiosa y verdadera de los reinos de Chile and Pedro Mariño de Lobera’s Crónica del Reino de Chile. However, the immortalization of these awe-inspiring native heroes can be credited to that most precious of literary classics, the first written in American lands: Alonso de Ercilla’s La Araucana.

After being captured following the Mapuche defeat at the Battle of Lagunillas, Galvarino and 150 more prisoners were made examples of the consequences of insurrection against Spaniard rule. Galvarino proudly presented his arm to the axe-bearer, and reacted not when the blade was swung. Instead, he wordlessly presented the other arm; his silence eloquently urging his punisher to proceed as expected. Having lost both arms, Galvarino leaned forward, turning his head towards the axe and placing it on the log stump, never saying a word as he waited for the bitter end. However, Governor García Hurtado de Mendoza had other plans for him. He was released and returned armless to his people—a defeated warrior, rendered completely useless without his arms. It was a lesson and a warning to put fear in the hearts of the Mapuche people.

It did not work. Galvarino was defeated and humiliated, but his spirit was not broken. Instead of dejection and submission, there was instead a burning rage and a thirst for vengeance. He appeared before the great leader Caupolicán not as a witness of the Spanish might, but as an outraged comrade demanding justice and rightful retribution against the invaders from across the ocean. He was brave; he was gallant, and even without arms, he refused to leave the fighting to his peers. If he could no longer wield weapons, he would then fasten them to his worthless stumps.

The image of the amputated warrior leading his fellows with long blades fastened to his mutilated wrists has made Galvarino immortal.

[I3uster]

This was one of my scrapped Regalia concepts, I never made a real sheet though so I started from the scratch with this one. Pretty low stats since he's new, but tricky if used right.
Servant Archer
True Name: Kaspar the hunter
Alignment: Lawful Evil


STR - D
AGI - B
END – D
MGI - C
LCK – B
NP – A

Class Skills:

Independent Action: E

The pact with Samiel grants Archer only a limited lifetime before his soul is claimed, manifesting as a low rank in his class skill.
Materialization is possible for 4 hours.

Magic Resistance: C

The demonic influence of Samiel gives him some resistance against the influence of spells.
Cancels spells with a chant below two verses. Cannot defend against Magecraft on the level of High-Thaumaturgy and Greater Rituals.

Personal Skills:

Huntsman: B

Being a hunter in his life, Archer is able to move through forests with ease, can spot game and stay unnoticed until he can fire his shot.
As long as Archer is in a forest, he gains the skills "Presence Concealment : B", "Eye of the Mind (False) : C" and "Disengage: C"

Silver Tongue: C

Being able to tempt and corrupt even those pure of heart, only strengthened by the fact that Samiel acts through him.
Archer's words and commands are counted as C-Ranked Mental Interference spells.


Noble Phantasms:

Freikugel – Bullets of certain Death
Rank – C
Type – Anti-Unit

Seven Bullets gifed to Archer in exchange for his soul.
The first six bullets always seek to hit the intended target. While blocking via barriers and evading are temporal solutions, the bullet will never stop to seek the target until it hits. Upon a hit, it does not wound but actualizes death, killing the target regardless of its resistances. Only those blessed by God (Saints and other religious figures) can survive this, as divine intervention managed to stop the bullet from hitting Agathe.
The seventh bullet however is guided by Samiel and seeks out Archer's Master.
The prana used to fire these bullets is almost nonexistant, making them an effective and deadly weapon in combat.

Teufelsschmiede – The soul-claiming Forge
Rank – A
Type – Anti-Unit

A ladle and bullet pincers (someone help me can't find how those are called in English, lol), used for a ritual to create more bullets.
The Noble Phantasm is actually a technique, or rather a ritual. To conduct it more ingredients are needed (carried around by Archer in his pouch), as it compensates for Archer's lack of magical ability via formalcraft:
-Lead
-Quicksilver
-Bullets who already hit a target
-The right eye of a Hoopoe
-The left eye of a Lynx
-Crushed glass out of a Churche's window
and lastly, a person who is willing to give his soul in exchange for the bullets. This is either accomplished by Kaspar using his skill, or in a less elegant way by torturing the person, offering the ritual as only way of escape.

Once all of these are assembled at midnight, the following chant has to be casted:

Schütze, der im Dunkeln wacht!

Shooter who watches in the dark

Samiel! Samiel! hab' acht!

Samiel! Samiel! Take care!

Steh mir bei in dieser Nacht,

Watch over me in this night.

Bis der Zauber ist vollbracht!

until the spell is finished

Salbe mir so Kraut, als Blei,

Bless me the herb and lead

Segn' es sieben, neun und drei,

Bless it, seven, nine and three

Daß die Kugel tüchtig sei!

So that the bullet will be capable

Samiel! Samiel! herbei!

Samiel, Samiel, come forth!

After which a contract is established, and seven new bullets are formed. To not repeat the mistakes of the past, Archer then proceeds to kill the person giving up his soul.

Appearance:

Spoiler:

[hero]

post Extra Servant y/n?

[I3uster]

Racin says he'll revive it, but if you want a fresh start anyway you can post.

[hero]

This was my Servant... Might contain mistakes/fanwank.

Mochizuki Chiyome (Assassin)

Strength: C	Mana: D
Endurance: E	Luck: B
Agility: A+	Noble Phantasm: B+

Class Skills

• Presence Concealment (A+)
  
  • The ability to conceal one’s presence as a Servant. Suitable for spying. At this rank, it's possible to disappear completely and become almost impossible to be detected. However, the rank of this skill will drop significantly when engaging in direct combat.
  
  

Personal Skills

• Charisma (C+)
  
  • Natural talent to command an army. Increases the ability of allies during group battles. Famous for creating and training the first generation of female ninja, Assassin's leadership ability is close to that of a King.
  
  

• Ninjutsu (A-)
  
  • Measures one's ability as a Ninja. As Assassin's unique style sacrifices raw power for silent killing, deceit and escape, access to the strongest high-level techniques has been sealed. Even so, she's unrivaled as a Kunoichi.
  
  

• Information Erasure (B)
  
  • At the moment the battle ends, information such as her abilities, true name and appearance traits vanish from the memories and records of the opponent and witnesses. The effectiveness does not change even if the battle was in broad daylight or in regards the surveillance of machines such as cameras. To oppose this, one must be lead to her identity by logic and analysis from the evidence left at the scene.
  
  

• Iron Attendant (A)
  
  • The ability to confer a measure of invulnerability to one’s allies. Just by being there, the Master's physical abilities are strengthened. At this rank, the Strength, Endurance and Agility of the Master rise up by one level, so long as Assassin does not distance herself more than five hundred meters from her lord.
  
  

Noble Phantasms

• Kunoichi-Ryu - Nine and One (C)
  
  • The unique style of ninja arts created by Mochizuki Chiyome, Kunoichi-Ryu. Only meant to be learned by the female members, it focused on making use of the advantages granted to them by their gender. The girls were taught all the skills of a Miko, which allowed them to travel virtually anywhere without suspicion, receiving religious education to complete their disguise. Over time, Chiyome's kunoichi learned to effectively use more disguises such as actresses, prostitutes or even geishas. This allowed them to move freely within villages, towns, castles and temples, and get closer to their targets. As a Noble Phantasm, it manifests as the ability to shapeshift into anything as long as it can be considered human. In other words, this goes past disguise and allows Assassin, as well as her students, to take the appearance of individuals that could be considered harmless or innocent by the normal population, so to not raise suspicion and make their job easier. In addition, due to actually having received religious education, all attacks are considered to have the 'Holy' attribute.
  
  

• San Hyaku no Deshi - Three Hundred in One (B+)
  
  • The manifestation of the three hundred female followers of Mochizuki Chiyome, who were instructed by her in the ninja arts. The pupils were taught individually, and they were told that they were the only ones studying under their Master. This was done in order to strengthen the bond between Teacher and Student. When this Noble Phantasm is activated, it invokes the spirit of a single Kunoichi, who represents the three hundred students previously mentioned. Because of the belief that there was only one pupil, only one is summoned. However, she's capable of dividing her spiritual potential to materialize up to three hundred women. As the summoned Kunoichi's stats are divided among the bodies, this last tactic is not meant for direct combat.
  
  

• Shingen Shrine - Hidden Ninja School (B)
  
  • Mochizuki Chiyome's dojo and base of operations. Under the facade of a Shrine, the place acted as an academy for the young Kunoichi trainees. Chiyome recruited several young women who were recently orphaned, prostitutes or victims of the civil wars of the Sengoku period. She also recruited girls who were either lost or abandoned. Many people believed that she was helping these women and giving them an opportunity to start up a new life. But in reality, they were trained to become highly efficient information gatherers and verifiers, seductresses, messengers and, when necessary, assassins. As a Noble Phantasm, it allows the manifestation of a temple, something that should not be possible for a Servant of the Assassin Class. The temple allows faster Prana regeneration and healing, including the restoration of 'bodies' or 'lives' the Kunoichi summoned by the Second Noble Phantasm might have lost. In addition, enemies are stripped of their ability to regenerate Prana or heal wounds, be it natural, magical or artificial means. Finally, as long as the temple stands, the enemy must enter through the main door, or else they will suffer a dramatic decrease in all stats but LCK. To summon the Temple for the very first time, back-up from the Master is necessary, but later manifestations have little to no cost. However, were it to be destroyed completely, a new invocation will be needed.
  
  

• Kakusareta Saigo no Shudan ~ Silent Method of Death (B)
  
  • Female ninjas were less aggressive and more careful than their male counterparts. As their role in society was just a mere facade that hid their real job, it was necessary to keep it out of suspicions. Indeed, Kunoichis could not simply take a katana to their assassination missions since that could blow their cover and ruin the entire operation. Because of this, they focused on the use of makeshift weapons. And, as the saying goes "Women have more hidden places than men". When this Noble Phantasm is activated, Assassin will be able to turn anything she touches into a weapon and manipulate it as if it were her own Noble Phantasm, considered D-rank. If the item already possesses a superior rank, it'd be maintained while under Assassin's control. The weapons will stay under control for a brief moment after she lets off his grip, allowing them to be used as projectiles. However, it is impossible to control items that are not meant for assassination. For instance, a light pole would be unaffected, as it's too big to be concealed. The same would happen to a rocket launcher, as it is too 'flashy' for an assassination.
  
  

[I3uster]

You gave an Assassin 4 NPs?
Miiiinmaaaaxer!

But yeah, the girl certainly packs a punch, the only problem I kinda have is that she doesn't really seem that subtle with her army-and-temple creation abilities, lol.
(Also you are an asshole for that no-healing clause)

[Sunny]

Chiyome is a really cool choice. My sister used her for an Assassin in an older RP we did together, so seeing someone else try her makes me pretty happy. ^^ 4 NPs does feel really surprising for an Assassin, though admittedly two of them are basically just upgraded versions of Skills (Shapeshifting+ and Territory Creation+). I do feel a little iffy on the Lancelot NP, though, mostly because I love the rationale but it feels a little too much like a more limited copy of his without its own distinctive features. I'd like it a lot more if it had its own merits (like giving the items a poison effect for assassinations or something?).

I wonder, what do the other Kunoichis use as weapons though, if they don't get the benefit of Chiyome's NP themselves?

[Mellon]

Okies, waiting for the cries and tears to come as usual. EXTRA Lancer, folks.

******************************************

Zhou Tong (Lancer)

Master of the Setting Sun, The Great Teacher





STR - B
AGI - A
CON - A
MGI - D
LCK – C++
NP – B+


Skills

Clairvoyance
Rank - B+

During his life, Lancer was known for his impeccable skills with a bow that few could match. As such, he is capable of accurate aim in an 8 km radius. In addition, Lancer gains limited precognition and is capable of seeing through magical disguises and illusions.

In addition, Lancer was also reputed to possess the "gift of far-sight", which allowed him to find his target no matter where he was hiding. Lancer has "X-ray vision" and is capable of seeing (and firing) through walls and other objects without any problems.

Chinese Martial Arts
Rank - A+++

Supposedly the master and creator of numerous branches of Chinese Martial Arts, Lancer's skill in them is seemingly unmatched. Lancer loses no combat capability when deprived of a weapon and is capable of temporarily accessing certain other martial skills at a lowered efficiency (B rank) as "Techniques of the Mind". Only one "Technique" can be used at a time.

The skills Archer can obtain are: Field of Detection, Protection from Arrows, Battle Continuation, Vitrification and Eye of the Mind (False).

Chi Strike
Rank - A

Master of the internal energies of the body, or Chi as it is called in its homeland, Lancer is capable of applying Chi to enhance his actions. By using Chi, Lancer is able to achieve a myriad of different effects through its usage. By using Chi in conjunction with an action, the rank of such an action is boosted by one Rank (e.g attacks are boosted by one rank in damage). These usually take the shape of a wave of energy accompanying the impact (wuxia stuff, you know).

Lancer is also capable of using Chi to walk on walls and to create crude blasts and barriers of Chi. These gain no boosts of any sort and possess power equal to Archers STR score.

The Great Teacher
Rank - A

Lancer was considered to be one of the greatest Martial Arts teachers ever to exist, training countless pupils and numerous great heroes. As such, Lancer is capable of passing his knowledge on others to, once more, create heroes on this land. After a single week of training has passed, the pupil gains E rank in AGI, STR and END (MGI and LCK remain unchanged). At week 3, one of these stats is elevated to D and the pupil gains Chinese Martial Arts (Rank B, an adept, with one Technique). The training culminates in week 5, when one of his physical stats is boosted to Rank C and he gains Chi Blast (Rank C).

Due to his experience in simplifying techniques and concepts, Lancer also gains slightly increased effectiveness against attacks he has experience before.

Noble Phantasms


Eighteen Arms of War - Undisputed Arsenal of the Master
Rank - B

"Do not allow your senses to mislead you. The blade wants to be wielded. It is just waiting for you to catch up..."

Lancer was renown throughout the world through his unparalleled mastery of all the Eighteen Weapons of War. If anything, his manifestation as a Servant has only served to intensify that ability. When picking up one of the 18 weapons, Lancer's legendary skill with them is enough to turn them into C-Rank Noble Phantasms. Lancer possesses all 18 of the weapons and can freely switch between any of them and use them in any way he sees fit, without being subject to any negative skill modifiers (such as unfamiliarity with the weapons, etc).

Lancer can also gift these weapons on to his pupils (only one per person), though in this case, he loses the ability to wield the weapon in question himself.

The Eighteen Weapons of War are:

• Qiang - King of All Weapons

One of the four major Wushu weapons, the spear wielded by Archer is an elaborately engraved and beautiful weapon. Lancer's spearplay can be described as a "flying dragon" type of fighting that emphasizes flexible movements and aerial combat, something not often seen in western spearwork. When wielding the Qiang, Lancer's attacks ignore defensive enchantments/NPs present on the target, like God Hand and Protection from Faith (but not separate armaments like Rho Aias).

• Dao - General of All Weapons

The single edged sword, or sabre, that Lancer possesses is a simple and practical weapon, with its only decoration being a crimson tassel on its end. Attacks by the Dao are quick and fast, based on the balance of the body and empathizing slow motion of the body with quick motion of the hands. When wielding the sabre, Lancer's defense is greatly increased. Attacks under C rank and under cannot penetrate Lancer's defense and when suffering damage from normal attacks over C rank, their damage is lowered by a single rank (NP activations are lowered by a single rank and not resisted, regardless of their rank).

• Gun - Grandfather of All Weapons

Called the "grandfather" of weaponry, the staff is a deceptively basic tool created from wax wood that encourages sweeping attacks and quick strikes often described as being akin to "heavy rainfall". When wielding the Gun, Lancers Chi strikes resonate throughout the spear upon contact, causing them to damage his enemies. Blocking Archer's strikes will still damage the target (equal to the rank of the attack), meaning that the only way to avoid Lancer's attacks is to dodge them.

• Jian (Double) - Gentleman of All Weapons

Elegant, graceful and often associated with everything that is mystical, the double jian's (displayed on the picture) are Lancers favorite weapons. The most adaptable and refined of all the fighting styles, the Jian is seems to fulfill almost every purpose, yet seems to excel in none. Due to their deep roots in Chinese mysticism, the dual Jian's serve as a enhancing focus for Archer's Chi attacks. Lancer's Chi attacks (the blasts and barriers), gain Ice (blue jian) and Fire (red jian) capabilities, are increased by a rank and become much larger in scale.

• Bian - The Soft Path of Restrainement

The Jiujiebian (9-section chain whip) wielded by Lancer, is a metal weapon that seemingly seems to possess the ultimate freedom of motion. Insidious strikes that lash out with surprising force and that can seemingly change directions mid-attack and slip past obstacles are the hallmark of the bian. In addition, Lancer can use the bian to ensnares his enemies and halt their movement. The Bian seals the movement of the enemy (moving from one place to another that is, not parrying and blocking) for 4 turns, unless the enemy possesses superior AGI or STR surpassing A rank (which would allow him/her to avoid the chain). In the case of A rank in either of those abilities, the Bian is checked against B rank LCK (which must be surpassed to avoid the chain). The bian itself is unusable while this restraining is in effect and Lancer must rely on a different weapon while the opponent is being restrained.

• Fu Tao - The Hard Path of Disarmament

The Fu Tao (or hook swords as they are called in the western world) are a peculiar set of weapons that seem extremely impractical at first glance, but in reality, possess great danger to the wielder. The hook swords are deceptive weapons that, while capable of dealing great damage to the opponent, are primarily meant to disarm, trip and otherwise trick the opponent. The ability possessed by the Fu Tao is likewise, associated to their ability in disarmament. After 4 turns of combat use, the Fu Tao compels both of the sides to disarm and release their weapons. For the next four turns after that, the only allowed mechanism of combat for the two enemies, is hand to hand fighting.

Lancer also has all the other legendary weapons of Wushu, but those are not capable producing significant effects. They are still C rank Noble Phantasm's however and possess all effects usually associated with artifacts of that class.

Lessons on Archery - Trials of the True Marksman
Rank - B+
Type - Anti-Unit/Anti-Army

This Noble Phantasm incorporates all the legendary feats that Lancer performed and demanded of his students. The first part of this Noble Phantasm incorporates his supposed ability to hit his target exactly in the same spot, three times in a row (the test laid before the young Yue Fei), irregardless of how he shot or which hand he used. By activating this part of the Noble Phantasm, Lancer's next three arrows are guaranteed to hit the targeted area, regardless of what actually happens (the arrows just phase through all obstacles on their path). Each attack is a normal attack, but since they strike exactly the same location, the opponents END is counted as one rank lower for each successive attack (not counting the first one).

The second part of this NP is how Lancer supposedly gazed into the sun, every morning, to achieve his "far seeing" eyes. Upon activating the second part of the Noble Phantasm, Lancer's next arrow becomes a blast of searing light (damage equal to a simple B rank damage NP). However, the blast of light also robs all of his enemies of their eyesight for 6 turns. This can be somewhat mitigated through the Eye of the Mind (False) and Instinct skills, but even in those cases, the opponents fighting capability is seriously reduced. Archer can also combine both aspects of the Noble Phantasm into one, but in that case only the "Arrow of the Morning Sun" will gain the auto-hitting properties (just 1 arrow).

[I3uster]

Actually not as OP as I thought it would be (except for the ridiculous number of NPs, but that's versatility and not brute force).

Definetly less OP than Sherlock, lol.

[G-Man]

*snip*

Hmm, I'll probably change that for subversive actions, but pretty sure presence concealment deserves its spot.

He can essentially spend hours bleeding his foe dry and they wouldn't even realize. BUT before you say he's broken, carpet bombing his general area will still kill him. You won't know if it does, though.

Ultimate troll servant, heh.

Is it weird that I find the assassin-like Assassin to be boring? Delusional Chasm? I wonder what it did. But, yeah, he's broken. Carpet bombing will work you say? If he can bleed you dry for hours without you even realizing it how would you know to carpet bomb the area? Not to mention B Rank STR for an Assassin that is impossible to see coming is just crazy. Most Servants will be killed before carpet bombing even occurs to them (nevermind that its impractical if you want avoid attention from non-magi).

*snip*

She turned out pretty well! Yeah, she's "bare bones" as you put it, but you just need to give us some explanations for the Personal Skills and some background on her. The only other issue was the "+" modifiers thing. I've been waiting to see Hippolyta and I'd say you did a much better job than you give yourself credit for!

*snip*

An interesting take on Beowulf. I like that he has to break each sword, though Hrunting should be higher ranked in my opinion.

*snip*

Sorry to hear we will be deprived of your awesome profiles for a while. Got to admit, at first I read that as Wolverine, especially with the picture below. He's... interesting to say the least.

*snip*

heh. gender-swapped Mami... I liked the profile otherwise though. Suitably dark and he somehow fits the Nasuverse well.

Incidentally, the profile reminded me of something. In the Hellsing manga, that one vampire who fought Alucard on the battleship, Rip van Winkel, uses a musket which fires bullets that always chase after you. The Major compares her to some legendary hunter who supposedly sold his soul for similar bullets. Was this the hunter he was speaking of and comparing Rip to?

*snip*

Is it wrong that my main complaint is that her battle costume is too skimpy for me to take her seriously (which may, in fact, be the very point)?

That said, she's... yeah. A watered down version of the Ryuudou Temple, a watered down version of the 100-Faced Hassan's trick (with the addition that she can replenish lost lives, something the 100-Faced hassan could not do), and watered down versions of "For Someone Else's Honor" and "Knight of Honor"?

Instead of me just complaining, here's some ideas to make her a little more balanced.

Rather than summoning a ghost of her former students, why not give her the ability to "train and/or /brainwash" women into being her new students? Makes it a little less broken (and makes her a little more sinister/imposing). The catch is, the level of the student depends on how long she trains them, and the students are not allowed to interact with each other while they are in assassin mode. Contact with a fellow disciple while both are "active" results in any brainwashing/conditioning being dispelled.


Training Results (note: the student must train for this length of time without leaving the temple in order to get the listed results):
1 Day - The disciple is loyal to Assassin and will gather info for her. No real boost to skills or stats.
2~4 Days - The student becomes skilled in espionage, poisons, and other related specialties.
5 Days - The student can now utilize "Nine and One" to disguise themselves and effectively wield simple weapons.
7 Days - The disciples who make it this far can utilize "Silent Method of Death"

I actually liked that little addition that her "shapeshifting" gives her techniques the 'holy' attribute. Makes sense given the historical context, and I love NPs that do that. No complaints on that front.

Rather than giving her a full-blown temple in the Nasuverse sense, why not make it so that her "temple" is just a dojo (since that's what its true purpose was rather than a high-level workshop for a magus) and she has to "indoctrinate" her recruits there in order to utilize San Hyaku no Deshi on them? Helps nerf both abilities to more reasonable levels.

Finally, instead of all the NPs she makes with Silent Method of Death being D Ranked, make them all E- Ranked (the bare minimum needed to injure a Servant). Assassination tools aren't meant to be powerful, they are meant to sacrifice power to kill with precision and stealth. To make it deadlier, her "students" can utilize Silent Method of Death after being trained by her (in the "temple" of course) as mentioned above.

Now, she's less a haxxed knock-off of multiple Servants, and more like an Assassin equivalent of Caster-Medea in terms of her modus operandi!

Edit:

@Mellon - Jesus H. Christ, that is a lot of NPs!

I guess it makes sense given his legend, but why is it one of his primary NPs as a Lancer is magical archery? That should be sealed and usable only if he's summoned as an Archer to make him more balanced. Its bad enough he can recruit and gift his students with C Rank NPs, but to give him unblockable sniping is just unfair.

That and maybe just leaving the weapons as Rank C NPs instead of giving some of them special effects. A normal human who has studied under him for three weeks could get one of the more haxxed weapons and now you've basically got two or even three Servants!

[I3uster]

heh. gender-swapped Mami... I liked the profile otherwise though. Suitably dark and he somehow fits the Nasuverse well.

Incidentally, the profile reminded me of something. In the Hellsing manga, that one vampire who fought Alucard on the battleship, Rip van Winkel, uses a musket which fires bullets that always chase after you. The Major compares her to some legendary hunter who supposedly sold his soul for similar bullets. Was this the hunter he was speaking of and comparing Rip to?

IIRC he compared her to Max? Both are characters of the same opera, Kaspar talked him into selling his soul for the bullets.

[Lycodrake]

She turned out pretty well! Yeah, she's "bare bones" as you put it, but you just need to give us some explanations for the Personal Skills and some background on her. The only other issue was the "+" modifiers thing. I've been waiting to see Hippolyta and I'd say you did a much better job than you give yourself credit for!

Thanks. ^^
I don't really have much of an idea on how to work on some of the Skills, though...and the "+" thing, well, that's when I thought there were 3 "+" per stat Rank. ^^;;;

[G-Man]

Thanks. ^^
I don't really have much of an idea on how to work on some of the Skills, though...and the "+" thing, well, that's when I thought there were 3 "+" per stat Rank. ^^;;;

I was guilty of thinking the same thing for the longest, so its no shame!

As for her Skills, just explain your reasoning behind them. Like why you feel she should have Military Tactics at such and such Rank for example!

Edit:

IIRC he compared her to Max? Both are characters of the same opera, Kaspar talked him into selling his soul for the bullets.

So, wait, Kaspar gets the bullets even though someone else gave up their soul? Did Max simply never get to use the bullets or did he have some other reason for giving up his soul? On second thought, maybe I should just look up the opera instead of bothering you for details. What is the opera's name?