Monthly Create-A-Servant Contest

[DelRey]

awww, cas...just stfu, Just because of some criticism doesnt mean that is the general consensus. there are enough here that probably like it regardless and just dont say so. Dont remove that entry. You have nothing to gain from removing it and those who like it something to lose.

edit: and welcome to page 150 of the contest

[Master_Therion]

Since I promised, here is also my reviews:

Guinevere:
Dang. You know, I delayed reading this sheet because, to be honest, I didn't feel interested at first glance about Guinevere. But by God you really made a good sheet. From her tragic past to her similarity to Ayaka, from her skills that specify what would happen in games like FGO to her Noble Phantasm that summons knight and from her complex emotional character from her lines to her own craft essence, which WOW, THAT FURTHERS THEIR CONNECTION. You showed her quite well. Although I think Phantom Spirits usually should not be able to use Noble Phantasms if summoned by other servants, with Bunyan being an exception because she is A) a servant and B) created by the grail. Also, how much are the parameters lowered, because I also think phantom spirits dont have parameters or if they do it is really low. Maybe Im confusing with Gilles from Apocrypha? Anyway, beautiful character sheet and I loved it.

Caesar (Rider): Unfortunately, I have to agree with Whale. The good thing about him is how you gave him a good description of him true his dialogue and personality, and I appreciate that, I feel those to be the hardest and sometimes least impactful, but in this case it solidifies him. Unfortunately, his background is really vague ( I know who he is, but I would have liked more that to describe him in case of people who do not know him) and his kit is unbelievably unbalanced. He is a Rider, not even a Grand Rider, yet ALL of his kit (Not counting Parameters) has a minimum rank A, with FIVE different NPs that are all at least rank A+. I know Riders are meant to have multiple NPs but not even Acchiles is this busted. I'm sorry, I feel this is not your best project. Regarding Afonso thoughts of him, I think he would be amazed by his military genius, while Miguel probably would be more interested on how he dealt with those who betrayed Caesar (If I recall correctly, he did that, no?). I'm trying to give a dialogue line first to Miguel about him, but I'm trying to see how to do regarding 2 Augustus. Anyway, sometimes you try but miss, others you hit. I look forward to see if you can submit a second entry to the contest.

Isabel:
I believe I already gave a review about her, no? In any case, I would just like to say, because of you and Wyvern, I got the inspiration to create Miguel.

Pedro II: Bravo, your character is the best so far I've seen you make, not only because of its formatting, an upgrade of your already good formatting, but also because of its kit and cool NPs, although I would have to say his first NP might be a bit unbalanced, just because it can target all the population. Nonetheless, I gotta give it to you, you connected not only with your other character but also Isabel. Really cool character overall. Cant wait for Pedro I. Also, have you made a Carlota Joaquina servant sheet? Just now, I noticed your Lostbelt (?) and when I went to read it I saw her mentioned. If so, could you link her to me? I want to see her to add a dialogue line to Miguel about her.

Also, WhiteFrenzy and Wyver, i think in the future im gonna divide the dialogue for each member of Pedro I family for Avenger's dialogue lines.

Pope Joan: That was an incredible backstory you gave her, or in this case him. What a smart way to reverse gender swamp the tale. Unfortunately, it seems more like an OC instead of basing of her story. I would like to know more where did certain elements came from so that I can understand more if you made up or used pre-existing connections. If you indeed used pre-existing themes, even if loosely connected to her, It would make it a better character. Nonetheless, your creativity regarding her/his origin is appreciated.

Jan III:
Yeah, I think I already gave you a review, but im gonna say it again. Your servants are always cool, and this is just funny while interesting. I gotta give it to you, that second NP is just the cherry on top.

Zumbi:
Nice, another brazilian character. His hatred for portuguese really shows and thats good. Of course, not only portuguese, but specifically rulers. You defined well his story through his skills and his first NP is one that I really like and seems unique. His second could really beat my Miguel, coupled with his Rejection of Faith. Good to learn more about servants related to my country, even if it was on such a bad relation.

Temujin: Im not too knowledgeable about Fate EXTELLA, so I might not be a good judge, but giving him the same treatment as Attila the Hun caught my attention. Two powerful rulers of the same empire, fragments of and invading force. Neat. His description justifies why you chose Genghis Khan as Velber 01, since assimilation is something he did the more he conquered. Absolutely nightmare NP. Cool kit, I wish I could have made mine game friendly while making it lore friendly. In the end, i could only do one. Unfortunately, now that other mention, yeah, he sounds like a chuuni. Still a good character, don't let it demoralize you. Also, i think it would make more sense for him to be Rider or Foreigner, if we compare to moon Altera.

Kublai Khan:
First of all, cool way to show parameters. It seems we have more Khans in here. For skills, it is weird to see Imperial Previlege combined with Pioneer of the Stars, something you even pointed out but you explained it well enough, although I think i missed something regarding the third skill. In any case her first NP is a creative one, inherited by title, while the second, HOLY SHIT, how cool!!! Absolutely awesome servant.

Jingu:
Like I said before, your character is interesting, and like you said about my Miguel NP, I gotta say it back to your Archer. Despite her simplicity in terms of formatting, which is not a bad thing, don't take me wrong, just that there are astonishing entries in this contest, I think yours will be on my mind for a while.

Delahaye:
Same quality as ever, that is to say, great quality. A peculiar choice for Ruler-Gunner, as while I understand the gunner, I dont understand the ruler, since it isnt just to be a ruler, but an impartial person. In any case I understood like 50% of what she said. Is that Pirate language, distorted french, or something else? I mean, just curious, I see it was for flavor and I did understand somewhat what she wanted to say but im still curious. In any case, as always, love how you make unique skills, while also giving dialogue for said skills, something I decided to also do. It fleshes out the character even more. Like Morg said, I think the biggest problem would just be if it really was the correct class for her. In the end, however, it is still a great servant, one i'd expect to have many votes.

Sorry, im not really a great judge, I mostly just look at something awesome and admire it without having the capacity to value correctly what needs to be improved. I think others, such as Morg and Whale, are better at this. Regardless, I felt the need to do this.

[TheTruthWhale]

Most of it is Haitian Creole blended with the broken English spoken in the region during the Golden Age of Piracy, where there were all sorts of languages thrown about. There's some French, like when talking to Joan, but she was born in Haiti and raised by a Haitian mystic and a French naval officer. It looks kinda like French (and is pronounced kinda like French) because Haiti was a French colony. Same reason why Louisiana Creole is the way it is.

I went for Ruler as the primary class mainly because her entire history is less about "she's an amazing sailor" or "she's amazing at gunfighting" (even though both are very much true), and more "she's one who unites pirates." My initial write-up for Repiblikan Yo was her having dominion over Pirate-type servants, but I decided it would be antithetical to what she is. Ultimately, I felt Ruler was the best class to showcase the primary lore accepted about her, even if she doesn't necessarily exemplify neutrality.

Although, that being said, she'd be a better Ruler than I think you give her credit for. She's all about letting people do as they please, provided they follow some very loose rules. She'd be better suited for a Grand Holy Grail War (like in Apocrypha) where having a crew would matter, and with Plunder, she could punish/restrict Servants who break the rules. But that's just my vision on it, and I appreciate the feedback.

Oh, and I should say, Repibliken Yo grants everyone under it the benefits of "A Place To Call Home." Being unable to be physically or mentally exhausted is a huge boon in a war.

[DelRey]

Top Level Creator Notes

There are some minor reveals in the sheet. Do not click please until you are notified

Du bist der Mann, auf den voll Neid

You are the man on who, full of envy

Deutschlands Feinde schauen.

Germany's enemies look upon.

Du bist das Schwer, auf dessen Schneid'

You are the sword, on which blade,

Wir bauen und vertrauen

we build and t͉͚̖͐ͪ̓̿́ŗ̲̣̮̞̀u͆͆ͣ҉̙̫͈s͚̬̝͈̺̟̜̏͆̀t͉͙̼͚̺͛ͫ̍̚͢

trust was misplaced, because he did not have him under control, he did not educate him to become better and….

Du bist der Ritter unverzagt

You are the undaunted knight,

Der Witwen rächt und Waisen

who avenges widows and orphans,

Du hast das Herrlichste gewagt

you dared t̫̯̤̟̜͊̽͑͝h̪͕̝̍̈́͟e̳̪ͩ͟ ̄ͧ͏̠̮͉ṁ̳̬̹͈͚̆ͪ́͜o̥̯̺̺̮̖͓̲ͧ̏͟s̀ͬͩ͐҉̻̜̱̘̫͔̲t̛͋ͮ ̲̻̟ ̞̼̰͓̘̐̓̅͟s̶͔̪͇̩̜͌̌ͅp̮̦͓̭̪͙̼͇̂͠l̢̖̗ͯͨ͗̏ě͈̩͖͈̕n̓͐͗͑ ̸̣̞̗͖̦̪̘ͅd̨̳͇͗̒í̙̻̼̼̮͡d̶̗̟͚͉̐̑

to act like you did not know...

Du harter Held von Eisen

You hard hero of I̛͇͎̠̿r͆̂҉͙̜̱̖̫̙o̭͈̘ͥ̾ͫ̇́n̫̮̱̹̟ͦͣ͞!

production could not catch up with the demand for the war and…

Du bist die zweite feste Burg

You are the second s̻̳̪̯̫̫͖̏͟t̡̘̳̪̘͎̳̽̈ͧu̅҉̺͚̟͔̪͓͍r̦̯͍̲̯͖̓͑̔̚͢dͤͮ҉̳͎y ̶͕̭͓̙̖̜͕̊̑ͣ̎ ͛͏̟̝c̠̳͕̟ͬ̋̊ͪ͜ͅạ̫̻̠̻̹̟̅͝s̴͉̤̫̣̭̺̐̽ͨt̠̞̳̥̞͙̜̲ͩ͞l̓̉ ̧͓͙̥̻̜̲̇̄e̷̩͉͍̠͉͂

worst person after him. You allowed him to…

In diesem bösen Krieg,

In this evil war,

Denn unser Gott und ...

For our god and H̹̞̟͇̥͔̓̈́̚͝i̹͍̩̳͚̼̖̍̓͘n̂̄̄͏̣͔̯͇̗d̶̩̲̲̯͉͎͈̑e̖͎̖̪ͭ̈́͟ ǹ̜̻̖̭͠ͅb̌͋̊̍͏̦̭̝͔ų͉̙̹͎ͨ̿ͮͅr̩͍̻̯̹̞̰̺ͧ̓̈̃͞g̢̹̻̼̾ͣ̊ ̦̯̝̳

Verhelfen uns zum Siege!

help us to victory!

"Enough!
Enough. This is not working. Alaya interferes.
Trust me, Master. Just the Will of the Earth confused with all the truths and untruths connected to my honest name..."




>> - ------ - <<

Let me begin again. A new start. Yes, this is what it is. But before we start, cadet, let me play something fitting. They liked to play that for my appearance back in the good old days...

Rider of the Rising Sun of VictoryFaker of the Falling Sun of Failure

Class	RiderFaker
Alternative Classes	Gatekeeper
True Name	Paul von Hindenburg
Aliases	Bane of the RussiansMortician of the Weimar Republic
Origin	Prussia/Germany, Historical Fact
Height/Weight	198cm/90kg
Alignment	True Neutral
Attribute	Human

STR	END	AGI	MAN	LCK
E	D	E	E	C

Likes	his family, country, victory, war
Dislikes	traitors, disobedience
Talent	commanding
Natural Enemy	Adolf Hitler, Erich Ludendorff, The Allied
Armament	dagger, hunting rifle
Catalyst	post card from 1914

---

Class Skills

RidingAviation C

One can flawlessly manage beasts and vehicles if they have received the proper training and adjustments. Most vehicles and animals can be handled with above average skill. However, cannot ride the likes of Phantasmal Species such as Monstrous Beasts.A Skill denoting one's steering techniques for aircrafts. In Faker's case it is a Zeppelin. Granted only through association with another famous Hindenburg. Because of the rarity of this skill he hides it as a Riding Skill. It would give away his Noble Phantasm if he did not.

Hindenburg, the Russian's Fright

Hindenburg, der Russenschreck

let the bear come in

ließ den Bären kommen

took him on with coarse fist

hat ihn drauf mit derber Faust

by the forelock

bei dem Schopf genommen

Hindenburg, Russian's Fright

Hindenburg, Russenschreck...

"Through that zeppelin and it's spectacular bursting into flames, it was natural that the whole situation was associated with Hindenburg and very close with the rise of the National Socialists."

Sieg bei TannenbergDolchstoßlegende C+

According to Rider 'Victory at Tannenberg' is a personal skill that is similar to both the Gatekeeper Class Skill Territory Defense and somehow the Caster Skill Territory Creation, that grants him a favorable position where ever he is. It represents the basis for his legend when he came out of retirement to serve his country by winning a concisive victory against the overwhelming army of the Russians, despite having less than half the number of soldiers.A personal skill symbolizing Faker's ability to recontextualize his failures and victories.
The famous stab-in-the-back myth is a conspiracy theory which claimed that the reason why the war was lost, was not because of military defeats of the "unbeaten German army" and the mistakes of the Supreme Army Command, but by the backstabbers of the civility and democracy. The origin came of course from Faker and his partner Ludendorff, but they tried to claim that those weren't his words, but of a British General instead. Still, they used imagery from the famous Nibelungenlied to visualize it better. A pretty creative British General indeed…
On another note, the battle that made him so famous was the Battle of Tannenberg, which is used in the camouflages skill name. The thing is it wasn't at Tannenberg, but several dozen kilometer away from the place. He rather took that name to reconstruct history. Five hundred years prior the Prussians had lost against the Slav Knights in Tannenberg, which was a hard loss for them. Naming the fight after that place basically erased the previous loss of his country in that region. He 'avenged' his people's loss.
This conspiracy theory would later become fuel for the fire of the Monster that lurked in Germany.

As a Skill Dolchstoßlegende replaces the Faker Class Skill Camouflage of the same rank. It allows Faker to fake his class, but not his (low) Parameter. But he can change the name (he prefers German names), rank and certain descriptions of his skills, mostly he hides the negative connotations to his skill names and the negative side-effects of them (and adds parts of German Songs in his honors, because he can). While he can not hide his original Parameter, Dolchstoßlegende allows him to completely hide rank drops in his Parameter and skills, even to True Name Discernment B users and his own Master, to protect the image of an unwavering General. His rank ups in his Parameters are depicted stronger than they are too. Additionally a minor effect is that he receives a slight resistance to debuffs in his Parameter and a slight increase in chance that effects raising his Parameter are successful. Also it seems like the effect has a Mental Scapegoat skill effect and all mistakes Faker made are tended to be attributed to the Master instead.

An interesting fact is, that the Dolchstoßlegende is really famous, enough in theory to become an actual Noble Phantasm, but because of it being disproven early on and most rational people knowing it is a lie, it could not reach that rank yet. Add his relative recency in history upon manifestation in present day and you have that this myth crystallizes as a Proto-Noble Phantasm in form of a dagger without effects. A placeholder weapon in case the myth becomes 'relevant' enough in the future, that it could manifest as an actual Noble Phantasm.

So did Hindenburg, old trooper

So tat Hindenburg, der Degen

sweep clean the Ostmark from the enemy

rein vom Feind die Ostmark fegen

truly a special case

wahrlich ein besonderer Fall

And the Emperor did appoint

Und der Kaiser tat erklären

To honor the old trooper worthy

um den Degen wert zu ehren

To General Field Marshal

ihn zum Genralfeldmarschall

"Hindenburg knew of the historic significance of this event and knowingly helped to to propagate it. That is why this designation was such a historical-political masterwork, because it instantly guaranteed, that the historic dimensions of this battle are perceived by the public.
And this was certainly intended and there is enough evidence for it that the imperial government knowingly tried to depict Hindenburg as a hero."

---

Personal Skills

HindenburgdammDemythologization B

A strong composite skill that represents the image Rider had in his life during and after the First World War. It consists of Calm and Collected, Charisma, Military Tactics and Rear Guard's Pride of the same rank.
Rear Guard's Pride and Military Tactics are skills that represent his talent as a commander that led to the victory in Tannenberg, which contributed to his fame and his later reputation as the great General. Despite having less than half the numbers against the Russians, he had a decisive win in Tannenberg. Calm and Collected is his famous character trait that let the Germans see him as a strong and calm father figure compared to the then current Emperor and is the root for his great rank in Charisma.
With those traits he embodied the metaphorical rock in the storm, that protected his country against the 'waves of slavs' in Tannenberg. This is remembered by him being the name sake for the Hindenburg Dam, a structure build to protect from the brutal nature outside the borders.A rare skill, similar, yet different to the Innocent Monster/Guilty Hero skills, describing the posthum fall from a position of worship, respect or cult of personality. It is mostly a demerit skill that lets the owner of the skill relive their fall from an individual of mythical/legendary standing to that of a normal human, most often than not with severe flaws. The higher the rank the better it embodies 'the bigger they are, the harder they fall'.
Traits associated with the owner during the hight of their legend are granted in this skill, but most of them receive a (False) Addendum and receive rank downs over time or after each battle, making them weaker the more people are exposed to him.
Military Tactics (False) shows that Faker was never a Tactician. All the plans and military successes are owned to his partner Ludendorff. Same with Rear Guard's Pride (False). While the Fight at Tannenberg is a great military success, one has to remember that Faker just followed his orders without second thoughts and without adding his own strategies, just like why he was chosen to take the command there in the first place. And while the victory sounds impressive by having the 8th army with around 200K soldiers win against the two Russian army with around 500K soldiers win decisively, so much that is considered the hardest loss any party in the war has suffered, the background information is not. The soldiers of Germany were constantly trained and better equipped, while the Russian Army mostly consisted of untrained farmers. Also the infrastructure and equipment of the Russians were subpar compared and the organization was in disarray. This victory showed more the problems the Russians had, than the great ingenuity of Faker.
Calm and Collected is the only skill that does not receive a (False) Tag, just a minor rank down. It is a general trait of his and made him the perfect partner for Ludendorff, who emotionally not strong enough to be a great General. Before Tannenberg he wanted to change the plan two times in the last minute, but Faker calmed him down personally each time. His Charisma was to a part fabricated. After the Victory at Tannenberg, the German public made him into a 'Volksheld' and their love for him was genuin, but then a great apparatus cared for his name even more.
His face was printed on everything they could get their hands on. From oils to meat, glasses, cremes and figurines and tabacco. Everything a normal household would buy had several brands using his name and face. This would later greatly help for his election as President, as everybody knew him or grew up with his face somewhere.
By the way, don't let Faker know that most of the places and buildings named after him are more and more renamed, because Germany wants to disassociate itself from the misplaced trust in him decades prior. And technically the Hindenburgdamm is not called that way, only in the vernacular.

You've sounded all over the world

Bist in alle Welt erklungen

are called by all the tongues

wirst genannt von allen Zungen

Beloved Name: Hindenburg

teurer Name: Hindenburg

Tamer of the Russian Bear

Bändiger des russ´schen Bären

Valiant Commander, high in honor

kühner Feldherr, hoch in Ehren

German's sword and shield and fort

Deutschlands Schwert und Schild und Burg

"Hindenburg became relatively early after the start of the war a figure that found itself depicted on all kinds of products imaginable. There were around 150 cigars Brand Hindenburg, there were tankards, ash trays, harmonicas, […], Hindenburg Lubricating Oil, Hindenburg Liver Sausage, Hindenburg Glasses Frames, toys and there were Hindenburg figurines in all possible sizes."

Eiserner Hindenburg C E

A personal Skill named after the famous Nail Man in his honor. Grants him a boost to the END Parameter, Protection from Arrows and Golden Rule. Nail Men were popular figures that were used to gather money for the war effort. People could buy nails which they could drive through the statue. His was the most famous during the First World War and gathered over 1Mio Mark!A skill which he did not rename, but hid several important things. The rank is actually much lower and the bonuses are negligible. Protection from Arrows makes him just more resilient to the damages of projectiles and has increased Luck avoiding them, like the anecdote of his helmet being hit by a bullet. The Golden Rule is actually Golden Rule (Scam), which grants him the lowest rank of Golden Rule, but also reduces the Rank in Golden Rule of others by one rank. The Nail Man of Faker did indeed gather over 1Mio Mark, but the organization who gathered it went bankrupt and the money was gone. Also the 'Iron Hindenburg' was not made out of iron, but wood, soft alder wood, even kids could drive nails through him. The END boost is therefore pretty minor. After the war the interest in the figure was gone and large parts were reused as fire wood. Some time later the head was rediscovered and moved to a collection. There it could not flee from it's fate and was burned when bombs in WWII hit it and it burned to ashes. A burning Hindenburg seems to be a theme for him. So he has a weakness against fire attacks.

Who stands undaunted day and night

Wer steht so furchtlos bei Tag und Nacht

with gleaming sword on the sentry

mit blinkendem Schwert auf dem Posten

Who is being vigil for Germany

Wer hält für Deutschland so treue Wacht

against the bandits in the East

vor dem Räubergesindel im Osten

devoted like gold, firm like steel

So treu wie Gold und so fest wie Stahl

The Hindenburg, our Field Marshal

der Hindenburg, unser Feldmarschall

"During the inflation that happened after the War, even Hindenburg was in an unfortunate position. He wrote his daughter, that he wonders if he can heat his apartment well enough for the next winter. To help his financial situation there were concealed payments towards him as appreciation for his patriotic accomplishments during the war, like the director of the Metallurgy Krupp. With the blessings of money from various sources, he could live a good life again, could travel around Germany and hunt again in the mountains."

Hindenburgprogramm C

A policy programme with the goal of creating a 'command economy', in which everything in the economy of the country was allocated towards the war. Everything that was not necessary for it was closed to regain manpower elsewhere. It was intended to reduce the burden on the remaining manpower by substituting them with better machines and armaments. The disadvantage of having fewer soldiers should be counteracted with better equipment. With that program it was promised a better situation in the war would follow, a nation wide 'healing' so to speak. As a skill it allows Rider to rearrange the Parameter of allies to a certain degree so they can fight more efficiently and healthier.Yeah, please do not do that. What he does not explain is, that the program was not a good idea. The programme worsened the labour shortage in Germany and the increased output in weapons and ammunition was not enough to counterbalance the increased war effort against all the fronts. Instead of buying time, it could be described as reducing the time until the inescapable defeat. This skill allows Faker to rearrange the regular Parameter of his allies, but the 'conversion rate' is less than optimal, essentially making them weaker after a short amount of time. Also the Noble Phantasm ranks receive a 'minus-modifier' and Anti-Army NP receive a whole Rank Down.

I am Doctor Hindenburg

Ich bin der Doktor Hindenburg

joyride with steam through Germany

kutschier mit Dampf durch Deutschland durch

to relieve the sick Ostmark

die kranke Ostmark zu befrein

of great hardship and Russian pain

von schwerer Not und Russenpein

Where I am called, I only prescribe

Wo man mich ruft, verschreib ich nur

the old blood and iron cure

die alte Blut- und Eisenkur

"The programme overstrained both the Reich’s railways and its coal supply. Combined with freezing weather that iced up the canals, the programme thus contributed substantially to the shortages and misery of the German population during the ‘turnip winter’. It also added to civilians’ woes by fuelling inflation. […] Steel production was actually lower in February 1917 than six months earlier. Powder manufacture also suffered."

Innocent MonsterGuilty Hero D

Granted to him due to the discussion around his character relating to Adolf Hitler and his later rise to rule. It grants him low ranks in Contradictory Mind and Mental Pollution.
Contradictory Mind due to his at start apprehended opinion regarding the young movement of the National Socialists, but later favorable position and Mental Pollution, because people theorized he had dementia at the end of his life and was manipulated.
Despite the slander and untruths, he accepts this skill, because as a leader it is duty to carry the hope and grudge of the people.
A "positive" version of Innocent Monster held by those whose legends were distorted to be more heroic than they actually were. Only the name of this skill was changed, because Faker could not 'reconceptualize' the fact that he was part of the reason why Hitler could rise to power.

Faker claims he got those negative effects due to the publics perception of his old age, which may be true and makes him less liable for the consequences of his actions. But one may notice that a man of the 80's, who was still respected by those close to him and could drink four glasses of wine without drawbacks, does not speak of some old man who is not master of his body and mind anymore. While unconfirmed, Innocent Monster has a bit more far reaching effect and allows Faker to manifest in the Gatekeeper Class of the 'Obstacle' Type for one of the most infamous individuals in recent history.

But you, noble warrior

Dich aber, edler Recke

who won us victory

der uns den Sieg gewann

grandchildren will praise you

dich werden Enkel loben

as the best German Man

als besten deutschen Mann

through all German Land

Durch alle deutsche Land

your fame is highly recognized

wird dein Ruhm hoch erkannt

Who'd forget you, Count Hindenburg

Wer dich vergäß, Graf Hindenburg

would be a shame

dem wär es eine Schand

"If anyone had been able to ward off Hitler's claim to power, it would have been Hindenburg"

---

Noble Phantasm

Hindenburgkatastrophe

Vermächtnis eines scheiternden Lügners

'Sun of Victory in the East: Legacy of the Rising Hero' is the crystallization of Rider's rise to fame and power.
Shortly after his glorious victory in Tannenberg, one of the first things that were printed for him were certain post-cards that depicted him likened to a sun in Prussia that brought the overwhelming victory against the storm surge of the Russians. There was even a poem created for him.
Rider uses that and summons a small miniature sun up in the sky. The light of the sun is too bright for others to directly look at it. On order of Rider the sun shoots out blasts of fire that imposes the concept of 'victory' on the battlefield. Rider can only manifest his sun for at maximum 20min, else "the sun would burn the Earth". The great president still cares for the well-being of his country. The appearance of the sun surely ushers in a new era. Curiously the flames do not have the traits of the sun.The 'Hindenburg Disaster: Legacy of a failing Liar' is the true crystallization of Faker's legacy as a ruler.
The 'sun' in the sky was actually the burning zeppelin 'Hindenburg' that is infamous for the burning crash at the end of it's life.
Ironically both the sun and the aircraft burned with hydrogen as fuel.
The 20min window of manifestation is not due to limitation of his Mana, but they represent the 20 years of life as a legend, from the Fight at Tannenberg up to his death. If he allows his NP to be active longer than 20min in total usage, basically 'exceeding his life' he has no control over it anymore, as the anecdote that happens afterwards is not truly related to him anymore.
In the next 3min (the years between his death and the disaster) the 'sun' will set and target the battlefield on which Faker activated it. The closer it gets, the better one can see it was the burning Hindenburg right from the start. On impact the following explosion will impose the concept of 'defeat' on everyone, but more severely on Faker himself.

A perfect metaphor for his legacy. A Sun of Victory in the East that rose and ushered in a new era in Germany, but set deep in the West (North America) and ended an era (Legacy of Hindenburg and the age of Zeppelins). What followed was just death, destruction and darkness.

Grenadiers, Musketeers, Artillerymen, Pioneers

Grenadiere Musketiere Kanoniere Pioniere

and sailors also at the sea

und Matrosen auch zur See

everything is on the watch, day and night

alles steht wohl auf der Wacht, Tag und Nacht

Germany's great war army

Deutschlands große Kriegsarmee

Isn't the Moscowite sneaking there?

Schleicht da nicht der Moscowiter

and the General Rennenkampff?

und der Gen´ral Rennenkampff

Hindenburg, the noble Knight

Hindenburg, der edle Ritter

sends him German powder vapor

schickt ihm deutschen Pulverdampf

Every shot a Russ, every shot a Russ

Jeder Schuß ein Russ', jeder Schuß ein Russ'

"…It's burst into flames! […] It's fire... and it's crashing! It's crashing terrible!
Oh, my! Get out of the way, please! It's burning and bursting into flames and the... and it's falling on the mooring mast.
And all the folks agree that this is terrible; this is the worst of the worst catastrophes in the world.
Oh it's... […] its flames... Crashing, oh! Four- or five-hundred feet into the sky and it... it's a terrific crash, ladies and gentlemen.
It's smoke, and it's in flames now; and the frame is crashing to the ground, not quite to the mooring mast.
Oh, the humanity!
And all the passengers screaming around here. […]'s just laying there, mass of smoking wreckage… […]
This is the worst thing I've ever witnessed."

You may now return to his title and click all the stuffs (Skill names, descriptions, poems and sometimes ranks too)

---

Quotes and Relationships

About his 'Riding' Skill:
"During my retirement my favourite past time was going hunting. So you may may I have a hand for hunting wild animals. Relative low rank for my Class? Hmm. Blame my Class Container. Give me a few more decades in the consciousness as the last great Ruler of Germany and I receive a higher rank in Riding. I did not just stop the waves of barbaric slavs, I rode them like a sturdy ship of my marine!"

About his 'Sieg bei Tannenberg' Skill:
"Mmh mmh. This skill shows my first public victory. Together with my Hindenburgdamm skill they are shadows of my possible manifestation as a Gatekeeper of the Guardian-Type. To this day my name is remembered for the great defense of --Hmm? Territory Defense is a Shielder Class Skill? Oh hmm... young Master! I think Chaldea has still much to learn what the difference between a Shielder and a Gatekeeper is. When you fully understand the difference, I will explain to you what my skill does."

Dagger in his possession:
"This weapon? Pah. A treacherous gift of someone I thought 'always had my back'. The irony."

Erich von Ludendorff:
"My friend, how deep did you fall? First trying to compete against me for presidency and then joining this fool in the end. You knew what your place was, did you not? You are not made to be the face of a people. But in the end you were just standing in the shadow of the biggest authority again."

Watcher - 'BB', Spirit: Otto von Bismarck:
"Oh by the Lord, what has happened to our proud German hero Bismarck? Our Emperor transformed into the image of a housewife. I will avenge you, where is this devil of moving pictures?!"

Commodus:
"Do not dare to compare me to the likes of you, boy. Keep playing dress up, but the next time you speak to me you better be a man and soldier before you speak to a president and general like that! Tss I am not responsible...I AM NOT!"

Ra, Spirit: Sekhmet:
"Yoo Faker. I am here to tell you idiot what my
King thinks, but is not low enough to tell you in your mustachoid face!
Don't you dare to continue calling yourself a sun! Just admit what that thing really is.
And you are sooo guilty of what happened. I heard you just denying it!
Oh you say you did not know? Of course you did not know! You were too dumb or too naive!
Even my ancient people knew that the willfully blind are guilty and/or unworthy to rule! If you were in my realm I would eat you alive, not that I wanted to eat an old leather bag like yourself. Keep away from my King, idiot."

John III Sobieski:
"See Master, here we have an example of a heroic defender of his country, making him a Gatekeeper. I am sure you are proud of if. Huh, you are a Shielder? Mmh...he is just the exception to the rule!"

Red Rider of War:
*they talk about their supposed great campaigns while having tea*

Isabel:
"No! Do not, DO NOT compare us! We do not share the same Origin! I did not shackle my country, HE did, they...wanted him to enslave them! Yes...that is it, they chose a new warden! Stop imposing your view of freedom unto different peoples! Some wish to carry chains, I did my best to...make them...light. By god what am I saying..."

Pedro II, Maria Leopoldina, other Brazilian Servant:
"Pah. Brazil. You should have stayed neutral. It was war! Your few ships were simple collateral damage and your infant state had to tag along our enemies. Hope you liked the ships you have stolen from us."

'Marianne, the French Republic':
"I respect your soldiers, but not the ones who had their hands in Versaille."

Siegfried:
"I too was felled by insidiousness in war. It is the worst fate to get attacked from the back. It must have hurt for a proud warrior of legend like you. I can relate--" *Siegfried leaves with a hateful look on his face*

Adolf Hitler:
"It does not matter how we talked to each other in our previous life! Who do you think had the control over the mages in our country before you send them to Japan für this magical war?! I am aware that I am just a copy of an incomplete record, I do not know what our true relationship back then was because of that. I just know that with all my heart, all my pride I despise you for what you degraded me into in history and what you did to my country! My proud Vaterland is now for eternity tainted with your name! You are like a curse flowing in the veins of my land, corrupting gullible fools or make honest people responsible for things in the past they had nothing to do with by being just a honorable Germans!"
*While shouting at Hitler, the ashes on Hitler started forming hands and reach towards him. Since then they were kept separate to prevent Hitlers NP to take over Hindenburg.*

Other Servants summoned during the 'Positions of Power' Summoning Banner:
*Hindenburg can not say anything to most of them, because he has no clue about them. The only books he ever read in his life are parts of the Bible and Military Guides during school. He is blissfully ignorant of most things outside his borders."

---

Lore and Background

Spoiler:

Faker's life before his appearance in the Battle of Tannenberg was not noteworthy.
Born in 1847 he started his military career early on and rose up to General of the Infantry until his retirement in 1911. He served for 46 years of which 14 were in General Staff positions. Three years later the war broke out and he first offered his service, then kindly pleaded and later basically begged for serve even under his militaristic worth. He said he was too ashamed to go to the street, because fingers were pointing at him, wondering why a former general was not called to action.
His chance came when the Schlieffen Plan failed and the situation in the Eastern Front was bad. A man was needed, more like a puppet, that would just do what General Ludendorff has planned to do, without disobediently changing plans. He fulfilled his task and had a stunning victory against the Russians with his 8th Army. The battle was called 'Battle of Tannenberg', a clever propaganda name to 'revenge' the 500 year older battle of the same name, in which the germanic knights lost against the barbaric slavs, or something like that was argued. Just ignore that the battlefield then and now were 30km apart.
After the battle Faker's name was known overnight. He was praised from all direction and became a 'Volksheld', a popular hero. He would become a living legend, a modern god, similar to the King asleep in the mountain myth, the great saviour awoke from his

retirement

slumber

and prevented calamity for Germany. That was how he was depicted and seen. In 1916 he and Ludendorff would become the Third OHL and held the command over the whole army of the German Empire. “Old Hindenburg, like Ludendorff, is no politician, and the latter is at the same time a hothead.” was the description of an Admiral about both of them and their plan of the Hindenburg Programme with ambitious and vigorous ideas, which not many were adopted because of the political ineptitude. The ideas of the programme that were realized would in the end not help in the war, basically the opposite happened. After two years of complicated, unneccessary war stuff and some mental breakdowns of Ludendorff later, both declared to the Emperor that the war was lost. Afterwards Ludendorff was dismissed of his position. Faker, like the honor dictates, also asked for a dismissal, which was rejected and he kept his position, overall only Ludendorff was blamed for the outcome. He would promptly be replaced and their friendship ended. After the war ended, the Weimar Republic was born, officially in the next year, together with the

stab-in-the-back myth

Dolchstoßlegende

, that would fuel the fire in Germany in various ways. The years of inflation afterwards were hard for every German, for Faker too...at first. He would be financially sustained by a group of industrialists.
After the President of the young Republic died, new elections were held. Faker already had interest years prior and offered himself as candidate after the first round had no winner, despite his age and the fear of negative backlash from other countries. The French were angry and thought the election of a war criminal like him would be a return to the abolished monarchy. Well, he won and ruled for 7 years. Surprisingly he held up the constitution and did not return to the monarchy, despite him being a monarchist and actually wished for it for his whole life. But he thought that the scars of war were too fresh and the country was not strong enough to return to it. He even won a second term on behest of many to prevent a rise of Hitler in power. Did work out well, didn't it? Political shenanigans happened, Faker won, Hitler did not, Hitler's party won with 37%, he wanted the chancellor seat, Faker disagreed, riots, political stalemate, Faker gave in and granted Hitler the chancellor position, Reichstag Fire, Hitler doing his disgusting evil things and Faker lets it happen, they still dislike each other, Faker was the only one capable to sack Hitler, but didnt do it, but hey he was against the treatment of Jews who served in the war, that is good right? Ignore the jews who didnt serve and the people who died, which deaths were tolerated or appreciated, weren't real Germans anyways, these backstabbers.
There was one hot situation in which Faker set an ultimatum, Hitler apologized and then...years later Faker died and history of the Demon in Germany happened.

A man who never needed to think for himself and when he should, he did not think hard enough.
As a soldier he obediently followed orders.
As a general he obediently followed Ludendorff's plans.
As a President he followed the constitution.
When he had to think ahead of the danger of Hitler his arrogance and naivety told him to 'educate' that man.
From a heroic father figure in the war to a foolish stirrup holder for Hitler and his deranged Third Reich, with his prior image and the 'stab-in-the-back myth' as his saddle.
Hindenburg claims to have knowledge about the Holy Grail War from the few remaining mages in his country, which Hitler inherited and send to Japan for the Grail War there, but him choosing to become a Rider was another ironic twist of his legend.
'Riding the sun of public love', being a hunter of wild animals in the German Mountains and just being someone associated with military campaigns like the Great Iskandar and his secret ride the Zeppelin Hindenburg would qualify him enough for this class in the eyes of others.
A better fit is the 'steed that Hitler rode to destroy Europe'. Yes, that is a sound description of him acting like a Rider.
The old Faker can not even fake properly.

---

Craft Essence

President of the Fallen Castle

"I just watch as it falls down, as if the sun violently sets on the battlefield.
Just a few seconds, few seconds too late to deactivate my Noble Phantasm.
Why does this Grail War end like everything else?
My wooden image was once one of the biggest figures of it's kind, turned to cinders in the war that befell my homeland after my demise.
My name was everywhere, streets, houses, places. Now they burn my name from the plates and use the ashes to write new ones.
My legend was in every home, they hailed me as a hero, a savior, a father of the Germans. Now I am degraded as a simple…a simple fool, a pebble in the way of that Bohemian Corporal. How come that fool who destroyed my country became more famous than the one who build it? Germany should be associated with Hindenburg, not with Hitler.
Again…I was backstabbed again, but by whom this time?"

"You still do not understand, Faker."
is the last thing he hears before his own Noble Phantasm crashes him.
Just another Hindenburg that burned away.

---

Editors Notes:

Spoiler:

Finally I am done with this guy. I had him on my idea list for a while, but did not plan on doing him any time soon. Just the idea of him using the burning Zeppelin as a Rider and thats it. Perhaps making him an Avenger, because he is angry about Germany or Hitler, but after researching more stuff, most forgotten since the history lessons in high school, I saw that making him a Faker and a weak one at that would be interesting.
The formatting broke my back. Inspired by Hux' Red Rider I incorporated the songs about Hindenburg, then I thought about degrading them too and had to find quotes that fit him. I couldnt find some damn quotes like I wanted and had to rewatch a Hindenburg documentation to get the quotes of some random historians. In the case you did not notice, I was really annoyed when writing the Lore sections and I will keep it like that, because it is too much stuff. So like morg in his Perseus project, i bulldozed through some parts of history. I do not recommend using my style as inspiration. Making CE and Intros and the extra fluff can be annoying.
On a sidenote, I made remarks about the Gatekeeper Class Types, I expand upon this stuff and of other classes in my Extra Classes Compendium.
Else I hope I was able to bring the character trait I have in mind for him across. Redeeming qualities like disliking Hitler and tainting Germany for centuries to come is not necessarily of what he has done, but because he 'stole the show' and made him a mere 'sidekick' of sorts. And of course him trying to blame others for when something did not go as planned.
And I hope the explanation is enough why he has barely quotes for the other participants and hides my lacking creativity to come up with some. :nobunobu:

Was I careful, asterism?

[Morg van Destro]

Kinda makes me just wanna remove the sheet from the contest if it completely misses the mark this badly, lmao. Am I allowed to do that? I'm only half joking.

I don't think that's necessary, but people have done it before. Sunny made a Margaret of Anjou Servant for the female contest, but removed it for a reason I'm not privy to. Was before my time. Probably not necessary here, not that I believed you would for a second.

[Kabalisto Koga]

Since I promised, here is also my reviews:

Guinevere:
Dang. You know, I delayed reading this sheet because, to be honest, I didn't feel interested at first glance about Guinevere. But by God you really made a good sheet. From her tragic past to her similarity to Ayaka, from her skills that specify what would happen in games like FGO to her Noble Phantasm that summons knight and from her complex emotional character from her lines to her own craft essence, which WOW, THAT FURTHERS THEIR CONNECTION. You showed her quite well. Although I think Phantom Spirits usually should not be able to use Noble Phantasms if summoned by other servants, with Bunyan being an exception because she is A) a servant and B) created by the grail. Also, how much are the parameters lowered, because I also think phantom spirits dont have parameters or if they do it is really low. Maybe Im confusing with Gilles from Apocrypha? Anyway, beautiful character sheet and I loved it.

Caesar (Rider): Unfortunately, I have to agree with Whale. The good thing about him is how you gave him a good description of him true his dialogue and personality, and I appreciate that, I feel those to be the hardest and sometimes least impactful, but in this case it solidifies him. Unfortunately, his background is really vague ( I know who he is, but I would have liked more that to describe him in case of people who do not know him) and his kit is unbelievably unbalanced. He is a Rider, not even a Grand Rider, yet ALL of his kit (Not counting Parameters) has a minimum rank A, with FIVE different NPs that are all at least rank A+. I know Riders are meant to have multiple NPs but not even Acchiles is this busted. I'm sorry, I feel this is not your best project. Regarding Afonso thoughts of him, I think he would be amazed by his military genius, while Miguel probably would be more interested on how he dealt with those who betrayed Caesar (If I recall correctly, he did that, no?). I'm trying to give a dialogue line first to Miguel about him, but I'm trying to see how to do regarding 2 Augustus. Anyway, sometimes you try but miss, others you hit. I look forward to see if you can submit a second entry to the contest.


Sorry, im not really a great judge, I mostly just look at something awesome and admire it without having the capacity to value correctly what needs to be improved. I think others, such as Morg and Whale, are better at this. Regardless, I felt the need to do this.

At firsdt thank you Therion ! About the powerlvel have i thought that as the Initiator of a new Age in the World and like i mentioned look at Kyros the Great and his Legacy on the history of the Iranian People and then look at Augustus there is a great similarity as the Foundations of the European Monarchy layed he and during Kxros was the first Shahhanshah was Oktavian the first Caesar the first great King of Europe as similar like his Persian Counterpart did he nominate Rulers like did you know Herodes was through Agrippa made to the King of Judea ? Also as first Augustus has he to stand above the later ones .In short i think that > The more historic ones is important the more powerfull are they allowed to be as those were the Key Figures of the Greatest History .

And yes one of the earliest Goals even before the Sole Reign was to get Revenge on the Murders of Caesar werer he and Mark Anthon were still allies at that time . and Augustus had in Agrippa and Macceanus also some very capable Men .About the personality do i ineed atempt to make them Deep and meaninfull as they interaction of ther different Servants with each other was one of the most inspiring Points of Fate to me like the Kings Banquet of Iskander Gilgamesh and Arthoria which is in my top favorite Moments of anime . or the fight of Karna vs Siegfried the Top Warrior of the each Age and Country . so i will later make my Version of Mehmed II and then Show you a hypothetic fight Scenario perhaps .

in either case will i later make a Agrippa and Macceanus servant . but the second entry servant will have not really be anything to do with Rome .

- - - Updated - - -

And MMorg you have forgotten About my Augustus in your last review list ,i am curious About your oppinion ?

[Master_Therion]

@DelRey: I... huh... Wow, give me a couple of minutes, I need some time to process a review for your character, because this concept was just... wow.
Ok, I am back. First of all Spoiler DUDE, YOU ALWAYS FIND A WAY TO MAKE AN AWESOME SERVANT. First was the the musician, then Jan III and now this??? Dear lord, what an absolutely fantastic way to play with perception vs truth of a person. Okay, the skills are so complex and show so much about his feats/falsehoods, from his military campaign to in reality him leeching from Ludendorf, from the fundraiser to the scam of the statues, from the "advantages of total war" to the consequences of the total war, absolutely beautiful. Not only that, the false sun symbolizing his mask to the Zeppelin associated to his name as a metaphor to his failings. DEAR LORD, I CAN SAY WITHOUT A SHADOW OF A DOUBT, THIS IS ONE OF THE BEST SHEETS I HAVE SEEN IN THIS CONTEST.

[doncosaco]

Since I promised, here is also my reviews:

Pope Joan: That was an incredible backstory you gave her, or in this case him. What a smart way to reverse gender swamp the tale. Unfortunately, it seems more like an OC instead of basing of her story. I would like to know more where did certain elements came from so that I can understand more if you made up or used pre-existing connections. If you indeed used pre-existing themes, even if loosely connected to her, It would make it a better character. Nonetheless, your creativity regarding her/his origin is appreciated.

There is a loose connection between Isis/the occult and Pope Joan. I got the inspiration from the High Priestess tarot card, which is strongly connected to and uses symbolism of Isis and Hathor (specifically with the headdress that the priestess wears). In some variants of the tarot, this card is instead called the Popess and wears the Papal tiara, which references Pope Joan. So, I took this connection, the brief legend of Pope Joan, and some of what we know about the ancient Graeco-Roman Cult of Isis and filled in the gaps with my own narrative.

[Master_Therion]

There is a loose connection between Isis/the occult and Pope Joan. I got the inspiration from the High Priestess tarot card, which is strongly connected to and uses symbolism of Isis and Hathor (specifically with the headdress that the priestess wears). In some variants of the tarot, this card is instead called the Popess and wears the Papal tiara, which references Pope Joan. So, I took this connection, the brief legend of Pope Joan, and some of what we know about the ancient Graeco-Roman Cult of Isis and filled in the gaps with my own narrative.

Ah, okay. As long as you have a basis for your servant, then it is a great interpretation of Pope Joan.

[TheTruthWhale]

@DelRey: You made him a better character than he is in Tanya, and I love that show, so making me remember good things is always a plus. I'll just say this to avoid spoilers: well done.

[DelRey]

thanks for the positive reviews so far
but i just noticed something for my Sobieski. I was wondering why y'all called him Jan III, yeah my mistake. His name is JOHN. In germany he is called Johann and I seem to have mixed it up while typing it down and never noticed because I prefer using Sobieski. Just corrected it

[Kabalisto Koga]

Paul von Hindenburg: Hmm Ja i would say recht ordendlich quite well made i think that this time you are went not so hardcore as last time Delrey i would say rather is it difficult to make out of rather modern figures working servants . I will later read your Sobieski but at the first look also well made . i would be curious About your Version of Prince Eugene from Savoy if you ever should do him .

and i am curious what do you thinnk About my Augustus ?

[RoydGolden]

"True happiness is to be able to live a quiet life and pursue your hobbies to your heart's content. That is what I believe. Yet those sniveling fools pushed the role of emperor upon me and then had the gall to act surprised when I dragged the country into hell."

"...Oh dear, Master, it appears you caught me rambling again. Well in truth those dregs of the past matter not anymore. Thanks to the power of the Grail I have a second chance now, and this time I shall fulfill my heart's deepest longing. And nothing shall stand in my way."

Servant Rider:

Appearance:

Source

True Name: Tiberius

Alignment: True Neutral

Alternate Class: Assassin

Armaments: As well as his Megalodon-tooth spear, Rider also wields a ceremonial shortsword.

Strength- D
Agility- C
Endurance- D
Mana- C
Luck- D
NP- B

Personality

A moody and neurotic individual, Rider dislikes fraternizing with strangers and can often be found staring down at the ground muttering to himself. However this is all blown away when he comes across a mystery that catches his eye, displaying an energetic and curious side to his personality akin to an excitable schoolboy. This burst of enthusiasm is rather jarring to those accustomed to Rider's normal introverted demeanor. Conversely, if Rider is prevented from investigating a mystery that interests him, he'll quickly become morose again. All in all a rather fickle Servant to manage, properly indulging his "interests" is key to keeping Rider loyal.

Despite being an emperor himself Rider has a deep hatred for the concepts of nobility and imperial titles, which he blames for stealing away all the happiness he could've possessed as an ordinary human. His beloved wife Vipsania whom Rider was pressured to divorce as part of a political powerplay and the life of quiet leisure he could've had were he not invested with the responsibilities of ruling an entire empire, those regrets weigh heavily on Rider's heart. As such when reminded of figures he blames for "forcing the burden of power upon him" like Augustus or the Senate he flies into a rage and begins to rant acerbically.

Ultimately, Rider is a rather self-centered man who values maintaining his own tranquility and ability to go about his hobbies unhindered almost above all. While not necessarily a bad person, he can be unnaturally single-minded when it comes to seizing his goals, to the point of not caring who gets hurt along the way. His first wife Vipsania was one of the few people who stirred genuine care and selflessness in him, so it's likely her abandonment spurred Rider to harden his heart and discard those "frustrating" emotions. Even so, upon meeting ones who remind him of her- passionate and curious individuals who share his love of mysteries- he may come to open up somewhat.

Naturally, Rider's wish on the Holy Grail is to rewrite history so he never became emperor and could spend a peaceful life with Vipsania.

He's an avid reader in his free time and particularly enjoys detective novels and books about marine life.

Likes:

Otium

leisure

,

Vipsania

curious and passionate women

, to uncover the old mysteries, independent subjects (who he doesn't have to spend time ruling over), mythology and philosophy
Dislikes: spineless senators, having to run an empire,

Julia

shallow and promiscuous women

, the embellishments of writers
Talents: military strategy, all-around investigational skills
Natural Enemy: Augustus

Class Skills:

Riding- A+
The ability to ride animals and handle vehicles. At this rank all mounts up to the level of Phantasmal and Divine Beasts can be ridden at a high degree of skill, with only the Dragon-Kind as an exception. Never having exceptional feats of riding anything in life this rank is only garnered as a precondition of his second Noble Phantasm.

Magic Resistance- C
Confers protection against magical effects. At this rank spells with a chant below two verses are nullified. Cannot cope against the likes of High Thaumaturgy or Greater Rituals.


Personal Skills:

Dismal Mien- C
Called the "

Tristissimus Hominum

gloomiest of men

" by the historian Pliny, Rider emanates an aura of pessimism and dejection that makes it hard for others to approach him. As a Servant this qualifies as a low-level mental interference attack which inflicts those around him with feelings of melancholy, inferiority and regret. This effect is particularly strong against those naturally prone to such feelings, whereas otherwise it can be brushed off pretty easily. Also has a side-effect of minorly suppressing Rider's presence as a Heroic Spirit since people will have trouble believing someone so pitiful could truly be a legendary figure. Sealed when Lover Of Mysteries is active.

Lover Of Mysteries- C
Denotes one's infatuation for uncovering the truths behind mysterious phenomena in the world. While an emperor Rider largely disdained the formal task of governance. Instead what had his heart hopelessly spellbound were the mysteries of numerous unknown phenomena that lay out in the world waiting to be uncovered.

Rider largely delegated ruling to the Senate and preferred to travel around Rome and beyond investigating any and every mystery that caught his eye. Anecdotes testifying to this trait of his include examining the bodies of some bizarre sea-monsters that'd washed up on the shore of Lyon, personally taking on the case of a noblewoman's murder and even travelling to the crimescene himself to uncover evidence (which was unthinkable for the time), and reconstructing the remains of a "giant" from a foot-long tooth that'd been found in Turkey.

This Skill serves as a combination of Single-Mindedness and Mad Enhancement, meaning that when Rider discovers a mystery which ignites his interest he becomes insatiably obsessed with solving it. Neither morals, common sense nor basic decency will get in the way of finding the answers to his desired enigma. This trait is arguably stronger than even it was in life, but that can be attributed to Rider finally having some freedom from his imperial responsibilities. Functionally while pursuing a mystery Rider gains a rank-up to all stats save Luck and Mana as well as being able to block out mental interference below C-rank that'd disrupt his focus.

Further due to having known many mysteries Rider has a chance of intuiting the identities of Heroic Spirits and Noble Phantasms connected to them, giving him an Eye For Art variant.

As his love of mysteries is one of the few things that can break Rider's gloomy nature, this seals his Dismal Mien Skill while active.

Imperial Privilege- D-
An ability that- through sheer insistence of the owner- Skills otherwise impossible to possess can be briefly obtained. As an emperor of Rome and successor to Divine Augustus Rider would normally have a high potential for this Skill. However due to Rider hating the role of emperor and willfully rejecting deification after death, he has drastically diminished the rank to almost the lowest level. Even so, the Skills he can grant himself include Sword and Spearmanship, Charisma, Golden Rule and Eye For Art at E~D- rank.

Military Tactics- C+
Tactical instinctive ability used not for one-on-one combat, but on a battlefield where armies are mobilized. Provides bonuses to using one's own Anti-Army Noble Phantasm, or defending against an enemy's Anti-Army Noble Phantasm. Rider was one of Rome's greatest generals, having conquered many distant provinces like Pannonia, Dalmatia and even parts of Germania. Despite his hatred for the role forced upon him, Rider's talents as a general are genuinely his own, shining unsullied by his disdain for the title.

Noble Phantasms

Villa Jovis

Ephemeral Escapist Elysium

Rank: C

Type: Anti-Responsibility



The villa Rider ordered constructed on the island of Capri to serve as a retreat from the responsibilities of imperial rule. That very villa has been sublimated into his first Noble Phantasm. By securing the leylines of the surrounding area, Rider can invoke its true name to recreate his former den of leisure.

A luxurious villa framed by marble-white slopes and sparkling sands, the interior is decorated with sculptures of Greek heroes and monsters like Odysseus and Scylla. Famed for the legends of the debaucheries that spuriously took place there, the true purpose of the villa was both more banal and benign. Merely an escape, a comforting retreat from the burdens of empire that so vexed Rider. Within it, he could briefly imagine he had the quiet and content life he wished for, one where he could be with the woman he loved and pursue his hobbies in peace. Thus, as a Noble Phantasm the villa crystallizes the concept "rejection of titles and responsibilities".

So long as one is encompassed by its walls, Skills and Noble Phantasms that derive from titles granted to the Servant rather than their own feats or inherent nature are forcibly nullified and sealed. These include Imperial Privilege, certain kinds of Charisma and Golden Rule, Noble Phantasms that symbolize one's rulership or inherited through a royal ancestry (like a French king having Joyeuse) and etc. Rider himself sees this as a blessing, finally free from the responsibilities that always tormented him, but his opponents who are stripped of the kingly abilities they once wielded might find it otherwise.

Furthermore, within the villa Rider can trap his foes in an illusion that brings them to the point in their life from before they assumed their responsibilities. For Arturia this would be back when she was a naive farm-girl before pulling out Caliburn, or for Achilles it'd be when he still had the choice of a long but quiet life or a fleeting but glorious one. This illusion is strongest against foes who bore regrets for their lives as heroes, ensnaring them in a "beautiful dream" that lulls their body and mind's ability to resist. Conversely those who can look back on their life including its hardships without even a single regret will easily be able to break free and return to reality.

Belua Cetus

Resurrected Terror Of The Deep

Rank: B

Type: Anti-Army



In one of the most peculiar anecdotes of Rider's reign, a huge earthquake ravaged Asia Minor cracking open the earth to uncover a vast set of skeletal remains. Intrigued by this- but leery to desecrate the tomb of what might be a legendary hero from ancient times- Rider ordered a single foot-long tooth brought to his palace in Rome. He employed the empire's finest geometers to estimate the proportions of the being the tooth originated from, finding it to be a giant of wondrous size. Apparently satisfied in his curiosity, Rider then sent the tooth back for a hero's reburial.

Unbeknownst even to Rider himself this tooth was actually the remnant of a Megalodon, a giant prehistoric shark that terrorized the depths in primeval times. Due to his "discovery" of it- even if unknowing- Rider possesses the beast's tooth as his second Noble Phantasm. Due to its massive size Rider can wield the tooth as a spear for close-combat, though that isn't its true purpose. By invoking this Noble Phantasm's true name Rider can revive the Megalodon the tooth came from and bind it to the World as a familiar.

A formidable Divine Beast analogous to the Cetus that nearly devoured princess Andromeda in Greek legends, this Megalodon manifests as a giant skeletonized shark measuring over forty feet in length. A blue bubble-like membrane around its body "fills in" the parts that were lost to eons of erosion, serving to hold the monster together in place of skin and muscle-tissue. Its summoning is accompanied by a torrent of seawater that floods the battlefield, making possible for the beast to maneuver itself even on land. Since its hollowed body lacks a stomach or digestive system anymore the Megalodon can no longer devour prey as it did in the "glory days", but instead settles for ramming foes with its bony fins and tail or pulverizing them between the stalactite-sized teeth that line its gargantuan maw.

Rider can also opt to summon only parts of the Megalodon rather than the entire body, such as materializing the tail-bone to strike foes like a whip-sword, teeth to launch as missiles or the ribcage around himself as a shield. This is naturally less expensive in terms of Mana than a full manifestation.

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So I decided to write a second entry for the contest after all. After two versions of Augustus I think it's only fair I do one for his more dubious successor. The most obvious depiction of this guy would be an insane tyrant, but when I read the parts in his history about how he never wanted to be emperor and had to divorce the wife he loved for political reasons I couldn't help but think of him as a rather pitiful figure one could feel bad for.

Once I thought about his demeanor and personality the Kosaku FC was a fairly natural choice. A bit of Kira definitely bled into his personality, to the point where I even used variations of the "quiet life" phrase a few times but he's ultimately a more benign/tragic Kira since his interests are playing Scooby Doo/Miss Marple rather than... well, you know. Also the take on Tiberius as someone who loved solving mysteries was inspired by this article which I think everyone should give a read, since it's pretty fun and informative.

As usual for when I submit multiple entries, once voting comes if you like both around equally much then pick the one with the most votes currently. That way I'll have the best chance at winning anything. And comments and critiques would be welcome. Thanks for reading y'all!

[Master_Therion]

@RoydGolden: Cool interpretation of Tiberus. The duality between Dismal Mien and Lover Of Mysteries gives him a peculiar play style that changes his personality depending on the situation, but what truly sells it is his first Noble Phantasm, which seems like an accurate representation of his wishes. It is quite a creative NP. His second one also catches the eye. To be able to summon a skeletal Megalodon, one wouldn't expect that from an emperor Roman. Anyways, simple and to the point, yet maintaining my interest. Also yeah, Kira fits his description.

[DelRey]

I saw the FC and said out loud "you gotta be shitting me". I am working on something right now, that connects back to my first contact with you in the PM's.
Anyways, I really like what you did with him. His character is creative, his skills are really cool and making him a Rider based on the tooth is just plain brilliant. It is just a great Royd Sheet

and now we have 25 entries, keeping up the high participation

[Wyvern]

Not only that, we also have sheets that build off of each other, or mention each other to better ground themselves. Kinda like how Kublai Khan connects to Temujin, Pedro II connectes to Isabel and Augustus connects to Tiberius. It is pretty cool how the creators arent just making sheets at random but interacting with each others sheets.

[TheTruthWhale]

And then there's me.

Nice one, Royd.

This has been a monster of a contest.

[DelRey]

And then there's me.

Nice one, Royd.

This has been a monster of a contest.

has been? there are still over two days left in this contest. Last one was 28 iirc? few more to go to hold the streak. perhaps we break the record of the first ever contest here?

And dont worry, this is a very recent trend. Bouncing of each other's sheets is a happenstance that the prompt allows. Rulers are often connected, be it through blood, succession or war.

[Morg van Destro]

Not only that, we also have sheets that build off of each other, or mention each other to better ground themselves. Kinda like how Kublai Khan connects to Temujin, Pedro II connectes to Isabel and Augustus connects to Tiberius. It is pretty cool how the creators arent just making sheets at random but interacting with each others sheets.

What are you taking about? My sheets were completing random. I didn't even know LB6 was coming out, let alone that everyone was doing sheets related to someone I've been meaning to do whatever. I believe they call it "syncronicity".

[Kabalisto Koga]

Not only that, we also have sheets that build off of each other, or mention each other to better ground themselves. Kinda like how Kublai Khan connects to Temujin, Pedro II connectes to Isabel and Augustus connects to Tiberius. It is pretty cool how the creators arent just making sheets at random but interacting with each others sheets.

Thats our own Canon ,after all we are THE CREATERS !