Create-A-Servant 2

[Saron]

Foreigner Cain, with the justification that the fallen angels (Nephilim) his tribe contracted with were actually aliens? Okay, I'll stop now...

*softly* "Don't."

[Spartacus]

Nyarly is an actual character tho,
And others have their own human avatars and worshippers. Or their corresponding MC that they love to tease at for some reasons.

My biggest gripe for Hokusai is, unlike Abby, she can pretty much work as a Servant without involving Cthulhu. Take out Cthulhu and nothing really change except her class and her fluff.

[pinetree]

Nyarly is an actual character tho

Yeah and I don't like it, it's the reason I stopped trying to approach all the dream world stuff, they make these incomprehensible eldritch entities way too human and totally comprehensible.

My biggest gripe for Hokusai is, unlike Abby, she can pretty much work as a Servant without involving Cthulhu. Take out Cthulhu and nothing really change except her class and her fluff.

I guess we're just total opposites on this matter then, I like that they took very minor thing to make a connection that shouldn't exist, it allows for cool powers and more importantly, an interesting dynamic with her father. I like Lovecraft stuff as justification for them to write the servants they want and as tools for the villains, but I definitely don't want to have servants fight one of them or see cute anime girl Nyarl/Cthulhu/whoever be summoned as a servant.

[Spartacus]

Tbh I don't really like Nyarly either. But he is your 'go to' for a Lovecraftian character.

I'm not really dislike they have powers drawn from them. Would change my mind if in an actual story chapter, Cthulhu start inducing madness or something, then, I'm on. But as right now, he is just an accessory.

[RoydGolden]

Yeah and I don't like it, it's the reason I stopped trying to approach all the dream world stuff, they make these incomprehensible eldritch entities way too human and totally comprehensible.

Nyarla is unique amongst he Elder Gods for having "comprehensible" (if evil) motives. Basically, if the other Elder Gods see humans as ants and ignore them, Nyarla sees humans as ants and pulls out a magnifying glass.

[Kabalisto Koga]

Tbh I don't really like Nyarly either. But he is your 'go to' for a Lovecraftian character.

I'm not really dislike they have powers drawn from them. Would change my mind if in an actual story chapter, Cthulhu start inducing madness or something, then, I'm on. But as right now, he is just an accessory.

OOkay i will Keep yself from foreigners because i know nothing about Outer Gods or Lovecraft.There i will rather make a Profile of Seth and Horus and finnaly Saladin .

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Nyarla is unique amongst he Elder Gods for having "comprehensible" (if evil) motives. Basically, if the other Elder Gods see humans as ants and ignore them, Nyarla sees humans as ants and pulls out a magnifying glass.

what are Nyarlas Motives actually ?

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I didn't read it.
I really doubt my first opinion would change if I did though.

Hm to bad ,please look one more time there and tell me your oppinion?

[King of Padoru]

Nyarla takes different forms, collects followers and scares people wherever they go for fun

[pinetree]

Hm to bad ,please look one more time there and tell me your oppinion?

Sorry, not interested. I already told you what I think about the concept and the execution, and adding more description to them won't change my opinion.

[Saron]

Name; Fenrir, Great God Devouring Beast
Class; Beast
Armament: None
Alignment: Chaotic Evil
Source: Norse mythology
Attribute: Earth
Traits: Divine, Beast, Male, Large

Stats:
Strength: B (A+)
Agility: B (A++)
Endurance: A
Mana: A
Luck: E
Noble Phantasm: A

Likes: Divine blood, chaos
Dislikes: Cloth
Talents: Devouring gods
Natural Enemy: Odin, Tyr

Skills

Class Skills:
Authority of the Beast: E-A+
An Anti-Human Skill that enhances the skillholder's capacity to harm existences that are classified as Humans. Humans do not take more injury, but this skill's effect increases the more Divine Blood one has. As a Beast who’s goal is to devour the Divine and not Humans, this skill is only complimentary of its class container. But, the more Divinity a “human” possess, the more powerful this skill becomes.

Independent Manifestation: A+
The capacity that permits the unrestricted projection and materialization of the soul, permitting the skillholder to freely manifest within a time period and location of one's choosing. Being that the skillholder's soul fundamentally exists in a place beyond the boundaries of life and death and the limits of the History of Man, time travel may be enacted at will; and the projected flesh is in essence an immortal puppet controlled by the skillholder's consciousness. Fenrir is eternally waiting for the end of the world, be it millions or billions of years, the world will begin its end, and there Fenrir will be to devour the gods.

Self Modification: D
The ability to mold and modify one’s Saint Graph, adding new traits and abilities not originally present. As result of his Noble Phantasm, this skill results in his stats changing with the tightness of his bonds.

Personal Skills:
Jaws of Everlasting Lacerations: EX
The ability to leave permanent wounds that cannot be healed through use of one’s teeth. By possessing an cursed teeth, any wounds received by Beast are impossible to be healed by any means. The wounds one receives aren’t truly “wounds” but reshape their being and soul to believe that the injured part simply never existed. To appease Fenrir, a god placed his hand inside his mouth as a sign of trust. When this trust was betrayed, he tore off the god’s hand at the wrist, this injury never healing even after he returned to the Throne Gods.

Divinity: B+
The skill representing one who possess divine blood. Can also be obtained by sainthood or being beloved by a deity. Those who possess A rank or above in this skill are those who reached godhood. One of Loki's and Angrboða's monstrous children, Fenrir's rank is reduced due to his beastly nature and hatred of the divine.

God Slayer (Innate): A+
The ability to slay divine beings granted by ones heritage. At this rank, their entire reason for existing at all is to slay gods and the divine alone. Fenrir’s destiny is too devour the King of Gods, Odin, but his legend never states whether he can not devour other gods as well.

Noble Phantasm

Gleipnir

Impossible Binding of Rocks

A
Anti-Unit (Self)
Targets: 1
Range: ~

A binding wrapped around Fenrir’s body, if it were any tighter Fenrir would be incapable of even moving. This cloth serves as a restriction of Fenrir’s power, the cloth only breaking when Ragnarök has begun.

Forged from the sound of a cat’s footsteps, the beard of a woman, and other concepts that did not exist, the sheer concept of non-existence around it makes it that even a Divine Beast capable of killing the strongest of gods is helplessly restrained. Of course, that is its biggest weakness, as proving that one of those things exists will weaken the cloth greatly and letting Fenrir simply tear it off his hide and fight unrestricted.

If one is able to let Fenrir trust them enough to stick their hand in his mouth, they have two choices to make. Either unwind the cloth off his tortured hide, or bind it tighter. Releasing Fenrir would allow him to release his true power, showing mercy to his releaser. Binding it tighter will restrict his abilities and make Fenrir far weaker and slower, but he will bite off their hand as soon as he notices.

Lore

Beast is Fenrir, the monstrous wolf of divine heritage in Norse mythology. Mentioned in the Poetic Edda and Prose Edda, Fenrir is said to be locked away, restrained by a magical cloth until the world ends, in which he will devour Odin and then be killed by Odin’s son Vidar.

Born from Loki and Angrboða, Fenrir’s fate as a God Killer was sealed from his birth, with his immense power and god killing fangs, he was feared and ostracized. In fear, they tried to restrain him with chains, but no chain they could forge could hold him. They went to dwarves, and had them forge something simple, a cloth made from impossibility itself, Gleipnir.

Fenrir, knowing their previous attempts to restrain him, had one term for them to drape the cloth on him. A god had to stick their hand in his cursed mouth.

All the gods shied away, fearing losing their hand. Until the Nameless God appeared, offering to do it in their places. Fearlessly, he placed his hand into Fenrir’s mouth, and when the cloth tightly wounded around Fenrir’s hide, he tore the god’s hand clean off. This Nameless God's bravery was so great, he was given the name Tyr, and became a celebrated god of battle.

But, Fenrir was bound, alone, cold and freezing in the wastes. So he roared into the empty air, demanding freedom to devour the gods who imprisoned him this way.

Personality

Fenrir was once a rather helpless and kind pup, who loved his family and the world, but was unaware of the fear his family possessed of him. When they first chained him, he broke free only after a day of confusion. When they tried again, hatred festered in his heart.

With every chain broken, his rage grew exponentially. Until the pup was no more, and the beast replaced him. Chaos and hatred rule his heart, but he does not shy away from his destiny to kill Odin. But he does not intend to simply die after his role is fulfilled. He shall devour the gods who praised Odin, then devour the humans who loved his imprisoners.

<I>

Wasn't really feeling like putting anything in this month's contest, but I've been dead for a bit so I figured I'd make this.

[RoydGolden]

Fenrir: I remember writing up a moe girl version of Fenris back on the old thread, so it's fun seeing a more "traditional" take on his legend. Don't understand why you didn't post this in the contest thread though. It wasn't because you were feeling inferior after You's Harambe sheet, was it? If so, you shouldn't let that kind of thing get to you. Just make the best entry you can and don't worry about what others do.

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For a lore-related critique, I'm a little surprised by Fenrir's lack of Monstrous Strength, Natural Monster or any similar Skill. Seems like an obvious omission for a "giant monster" Servant...

[Saron]

It wasn't because you were feeling inferior after You's Harambe sheet, was it? If so, you shouldn't let that kind of thing get to you. Just make the best entry you can and don't worry about what others do.

Nah it's nothing like that, I'm just not really in a contest-y mood.

For a lore-related critique, I'm a little surprised by Fenrir's lack of Monstrous Strength, Natural Monster or any similar Skill. Seems like an obvious omission for a "giant monster"...

I debated it, but I wasn't sure if I could squeeze in another skill on top of his three others, as Monstrous Strength, and it feels like too much for another skill anyway when his teeth can literally delete your body parts from existence.

[SleepMode]

...So is Fenrir a Beast against the Gods?

[pinetree]

Hm, I don't like it, to be honest.
First of all it feels like you chose the Beast class just because of the class' name. His authority is against the divine instead of humans, he doesn't have the principle of a human evil, he doesn't have a Nega skill, and he doesn't even have any hatred born out of love towards humanity; seems more like a Berserker with the wrong class skills.
I do like his first skill though, it's a creative way to integrate his most famous legend into his abilities.

[Saron]

Hm, I don't like it, to be honest.
First of all it feels like you chose the Beast class just because of the class' name. His authority is against the divine instead of humans, he doesn't have the principle of a human evil, he doesn't have a Nega skill, and he doesn't even have any hatred born out of love towards humanity-

The reason for his designation as Beast is that it's the only class that really fits him, as even though hates the divine, he's still a signal of the Apocalypse which would bring about Humanity's end as well as the Gods. I tried incorporating the hate/love dynamic in with his love of his family turning to hatred and resentment towards them for fearing him.

seems more like a Berserker with the wrong class skills

That actually gives me an idea for an alternate version of Fenrir...give me time.

...So is Fenrir a Beast against the Gods?

That was my intention, a Beast who kills Gods, but destroys Humanity indirectly. For example, if Odin's dead, who's keeping the absolute crapton of other monsters at bay and leading the other gods? Killing Odin is a necessary part for Ragnarök to come to fruition, almost destroying humanity save Líf and Lífþrasir.

[pinetree]

The reason for his designation as Beast is that it's the only class that really fits him, as even though hates the divine, he's still a signal of the Apocalypse which would bring about Humanity's end as well as the Gods. I tried incorporating the hate/love dynamic in with his love of his family turning to hatred and resentment towards them for fearing him.

As it is he doesn't fit the class though, for the reasons I listed. You should have put more work into adapting his character into the concept of the Beasts if you think his apocalyptic nature fits the class so much.

Also the hate/love thing is not for individuals, it's for humanity as a whole, and his family isn't even human. I get what you tried to do here but a Beast that isn't focused on humanity isn't a Beast at all.

[RoydGolden]

For a case like this you might be better off making an original "Monster" Class, like I did for my Fenrir sheet.

[Crying]

I had been thinking about trying to make a Beast Fenrir, but I couldn't think of a human evil for him to represent. It could be 'an evil that humans themselves made' like that one Amaterasu sheet a while back, but it was the Aesir that made Fenrir into an enemy not humanity, so it didn't quite seem to fit. I thought that maybe Fenrir could be a 'natural evil' in that he's just doing whats in his nature but that doesn't really fit the 'human evil' thing the Beast Class has going. I ultimately couldn't think of a good evil for him to represent so I scrapped the concept.

[You]

I had been thinking about trying to make a Beast Fenrir, but I couldn't think of a human evil for him to represent. It could be 'an evil that humans themselves made' like that one Amaterasu sheet a while back, but it was the Aesir that made Fenrir into an enemy not humanity, so it didn't quite seem to fit. I thought that maybe Fenrir could be a 'natural evil' in that he's just doing whats in his nature but that doesn't really fit the 'human evil' thing the Beast Class has going. I ultimately couldn't think of a good evil for him to represent so I scrapped the concept.

find a fancy word for gluttony that isn't gluttony
or it'd just be the same comparison as Primate Murder

[Bird of Hermes]

Consumption or Pride works, literally devouring the gods to bring about your age.

[King of Padoru]

Something related to distrust could be a fitting sin as well