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Thread: Create-A-Servant 3

  1. #7681
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    Thanks it was really helpful I could check back on my servant sheets to check if their NP deserved the EX Rank.

  2. #7682
    Darkened Misty Metropolis Lambda-Nu's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DelRey View Post
    MoonCancer surge incoming
    No! Do not do this!
    The joys of being a Mommy

    Loading... Loading... Loading... Loading... Complete.

    Servant Database (v2.0)


    CHALDEA SECURITY ORGANIZATION: AUTHORIZED PERSONNEL ONLY
    Singularity / Lostbelt Database


    For those of you who'd like to see how far I'm getting on constructing new Servant sheets
    Upcoming Servant Sheets



  3. #7683
    [SHEET REMOVED]
    Last edited by Comun; January 25th, 2023 at 09:07 AM.

  4. #7684
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    It's a nice sheet, It's quite nice to see other people take on early Islamic heroes as servants.

  5. #7685
    Thanks, actually i want to post her along with Khalid since her sheet pretty much revolve around Khalid but i've already post Khalid before but alas i'll just repost it there, i've made a little change but overall the sheet is still the same

    Khalid Sheet






    Class : Saber

    Traits : Human, Riding, Brynhildr's beloved, Star

    Epithet : The Drawn Sword of God

    Identity : Khalid Ibn Walid

    Origin : Historical Fact, Middle East

    Height/Weight : 185cm/79kg

    Alignment : Lawful • Good

    Attribute : Star

    Likes : Strong Opponent, Battle, Grilled Lizard, Poetry

    Dislike : Evil, Disloyalty

    Talent : Natural born ikemen, Reliable leader, Win

    Armanent : The Swords that contain the Authority of God.

    Parameters

    STR : A+
    AGI : A
    LCK : B
    END : A+
    MP : E
    NP : EX

    Class Skills

    Riding A

    All vehicles and all creatures but those of Phantasmal Beast and Divine Beast-rank can be used as mounts.



    Independent Manifestation E

    A special Skill that permits unsupported manifestation into reality, without necessity of energy cost or of summoning by a Master; effectively, the Skill serves as an enhanced version ofIndependent Action. This Skill signifies a confirmed existence. Those with this Skill have resistance to instant death and time-control attacks. The Skill is normally restricted to the Beast Class, and potentially Heroic Spirits that qualify as Grand Servants.

    Khalid cannot be summoned and will not manifest on the world unless God decided to unsheath His Sword. This is the reason why the rank of the skill is very low, he cannot manifest by his own will but only by the will of God.

    He does not exist in the Throne of Heroes.



    Magic Resistance EX

    As one of the closest companion of the Prophet and The Sword of God, he demonstrate very high Magic Resistance, in addition to the Magic Resistance of the Saber class.

    Completely nullifies effects of almost every harmful Magecraft. It is very difficult to harm him even with magic from the Age of Gods.


    Personal Skills

    Mubarizun
    Hero-Slaying Champion EX


    A skill that function as the one that change the tide of war by killing the enemy's top heroes. When facing "Heroes" grants him massive boost to his overall ability and conceptual advantage against them. It is essentially an Anti-Hero skill. Normally it doesn't work against divine spirits/gods, however, Khalid has proved as such that not even gods are exception from becoming his target during a war or battle thus because of that this skill become an Anti-Divine as well and gained the highest rank of this skill.

    Mubarizun is a Special Unit created by Khalid specialized in slaying enemy's "Heroes" in order to change the tide of war. As Khalid was the one who raised the Mubarizun, naturally the rank of this skill is very high as he was the best of Mubarizun and the only Mubarizun who is capable of killing Gods by himself.




    Wisdom of the Victorious A+

    "The earth destroys its fools, but the intelligent destroy the earth." -Khalid

    Khalid was a man of wisdom that even the Prophet acknowledge, he can knows the true nature of others with simple conversation or action. No matter how they hide it he will know if they have evil nature or ill will towards others. There are numerous anectdote where he exposed and saw the true nature of other people who are trying to hide it.

    "He neither slept nor let others sleep, and nothing was concealed from him."
    Al-Tabari

    Nothing was concealed from him. It is a very frightening ability, almost as if he can see future and know other people mind very well. Ability like Presence Concealment is almost meaningless in front of him (Rank A and below). Capable of grasping the abilities, technique, tricks, strategy, and the weakness of the opponent as well as the battle conditions even when in danger and deduce an appropriate course of action after considering all possibilities to reverse a predicament or completely overpowering his opponents.

    He can adapt in almost all situation. No matter any kind of restriction or disadvantages he had, that would not reduce his combat power nor prevent him from gaining victory.

    In his life, he always on the disadvantage side in most of the battle he faces. However none of that disadvantage could prevent him from gaining victory.



    Pillar of Glory EX

    His Presence alone struck fear to the enemies and ensures victory to his allies.
    There's an anectdote where a Priest died out of fear when he heard Khalid's army marching towards the city where he lives.
    However, ironically, this is also the reason why he was dismissed from the supreme command and the army. People were started to rely on him too much that they forgot it was their God who gives them this Sword of Victory.

    Anyone around him will feel the presence of the undefeated master who could conquer even the Gods.

    The allies will be ensured with Victory thus greatly boost their morale, they will unconsciously thinking that "As long as he is with us, victory is assured" while also drop enemies' morale and they will also unconsciously thinking that "As long as we're against him, it feels like no matter what we do we were never able to attain victory". It has enough power to protect allies from mental interference that could reduce their morale while also made enemy unable to boost their morale and keep their morale at low.

    In other words, as long as he's there the morale of allies will be maintained at high as possible while the enemies' morale will be maintained at low.


    The Ubreakable Sword EX

    The spirituality and belief that Khalid embodied. From the anecdote of Khalid in his deathbed, he was sad because he cannot die like his other friends (martyr) but his friends denied and told him that he is invincible because he is the Sword of God. It is impossible for the Sword of God to be defeated (broken) even if he wished to be a martyr, God will not allowed him to get it because no one could ever break the God's Sword.

    Unconditionally reduces the damage dealt by physical attacks, conceptual attacks, and interdimensional attacks by a value equivalent to the Servant's total health. (This effect does not include the effect of Mubarizun)

    This Skill also gave immunity to the probability of mental or mind interference, remove restriction or any kind of interference that affecting/weakening him (debuff) and allows for the continuation of combat after sustaining mortal wounds. It will also reduce mortality rate and grants instant healing or high regeneration depending on how severe the injury he got.



    The Absolute Sword

    "he simply defeated whoever was there to be defeated". - Shaban (Historian)

    The true worth of the Sword of God. He who is the Noble Phantasm of the Absolute God carried a portion of God's power that gave him the absolute force to defeat all of his opponents. Everything is equal before his absolute power, no matter whether they're weak or strong, few or many, mortals or even the Gods themselves.

    He will unconditionally win in a battle of power, it can penetrates and vanquish any kind of force that trying to oppose him not even a conceptual ability could protect his opppnent from this ability, only authority of the gods of equals position (Supreme Gods) could possibly protect them from this ability.

    Through this ability he also can gain access to at least 10 different Authority.

    He was the Sword that not even the Prophet, The messenger of the same God could break. In fact, the Prophet used the Sword to conquer and destroys Idols and gods who resides in Arabian peninsula. Indeed, this is The Absolute Sword that destroys anything in its path.


    Noble Phantasm(s)

    Maeraka Alsuyuf
    The Swords that leads towards Victory


    Rank : A+
    Type : Anti-Unit

    The nine swords that he used on his early major war as one of the Companions. The war was so intense that he broke nine swords, it was after the last sword broke that he was revealed to be the God's Sword. Originally this swords does not have much power, but because the anectdote of how he was revealed to be the Sword of God is after he broke the ninth sword, these swords became the seal and path that led to the true power of the Sword of God.

    The Sword of God is divided into nine swords, each sword contain a portion of the Sword of God, in other words the Authority of the God. When each sword broken, the authority inside it would be transferred to the other sword and thus strenghtened them. Eventually when the ninth swords is destroyed it is become possible to manifest the Absolute Sword from the center of his body and release a limited activation of the other Noble Phantasm, however because its just a limited activation, the power is greatly reduced.

    Essentially its not necessary to destroy the swords to release a limited activation of the other Noble Phantasm, he can just merged it into one original God's Sword.



    Fayla Al-Mahzum
    The Army That Know No Defeat


    Rank : EX
    Type : Anti-Country

    A Noble Phantasm that Summons his army that he lead in his life.

    They're follows him as a shadows which he can summon at any times and one by one.

    Once fully materialized, the heavily armed cavalry of soldiers slowly appears and completely manifests as a diverse fighting force with the fierceness of a true army. The entire fighting force is fully composed all of whom personally fought with Khalid on the battlefield. They swept across continents during life, and no matter what they faced, enemy or fortress, it was powerless before them. They display the violence that reveals Khalid's fierce method to attain victory without restraint, and he only takes pride in it.

    Most of the Servants here are Nameless Servant who does not leave their name in History, however due to the nature of Khalid's Independent Manifestation they're able to fully manifest as a Servants though most of them don't have Noble Phantasm but their combat power is the same as normal Servants and some of them have a combat power of a top class Servants, this is the reason why the rank of this Noble Phantasm is very high.



    Sayf Al-Daeif
    The Limited Drawn of Absolute Sword


    Rank : EX
    Type : Anti-World

    The limited activation of Khalid's most powerful Noble Phantasm. The true name of this Noble Phantasm is changed because it is impossible to release the true power of the God's Sword without His order.



    Sayf Al-Mahzum
    Beyond The Extremity of Absolute Sword


    Rank : ??
    Type : ??

    The full activation of Khalid's most powerful Noble Phantasm. However, it is impossible for him to activate this Noble Phantasm unless God or His proxy ordered him to activate it.


    Character/Attitude/Speech/Overview/Lore

    Character :

    Khalid had a lot of traits that made him a perfect leader; he had a high level of self-confidence, assertiveness, self management and everyone trusted him.

    He is a very reliable man,a high level of emotional intelligence that he was controlling his emotions and how to influence others even in difficult situations; perfect problem solving, flexibility, adaptivity and always take the lead of anything, he was able to make the allies around him feel safe.

    He was the guy that everyone would and must rely on in every situation.

    Though that was what he is on the outside.

    Deep down he was a man who is thirst for battle of life and death, someone who love the battlefield more than his own home.

    As someone who had never experienced defeat in life, he was very eager in finding a worthy opponent who might be able to defeat him.

    Defeat is a sign of growth, through defeat and failure humans can grow to be better, he who never loses indicates that his growth has stopped or so he thinks.

    Even so he is not a someone who will mix personal matter with his mission, he will prioritize his mission above everything.



    Motives and attitudes toward the Master :

    The fact that he was summoned means the God has willed him to serve his master, therefore he will accept Master as the worthy owner of The Sword of God (himself) as the Master has been chosen by God to wield His Sword. He was very obedient and reliable Servant. When Master command him, he is a type of Servant that will answer with "we hear and we obey" and with that the Master could just consider the task is done.

    "Holy Grail, there's no such a thing. If you want to achieve something you shouldn't rely on such delusive tools, i believe human can achieve everything if they really put their will and effort to reach their goals."

    He was a very reliable person, he will guide and corrected every mistake that Master could possibly made. He did not harbor any ill will towards a good person, he will always make sure that the Master will not walk on the path of ruin and stride away from the noble path.

    "Master, saving humanity is a very heavy burden. For you to come this far, I respect and admire you. With that will and effort, I'm sure the end that awaits you is a future in which you will be satisfied, but your path is still very long and filled with pain and sorrow. However, do not worry, as long as I'm here you can always rely on me."

    He just consider himself as the Sword while Master as the owner, therefore as Master's sword, he will slay any enemies and evil that trying to harm his Master.



    Speech example :

    "I'm Khalid son of Al Walid, i was summoned here means God has chosen you. Are you the new owner? Until God decided to sheath me again, i will be in your care. Nice to meet you... Master"
    "You are no match for me."
    "This result, just as i expected... How boring."
    "Rest assured, i will handle it."
    "Master, do you know why she is so confident in conquering the earth? It's because she hasn't met me"
    "Things i like? Hm... If you're talking about food then i like a grilled lizard, yes that big lizard."
    "Things i dislike? I hate liars and demons especially those vampires, what's they called again ancestor or something?"



    Overview :

    Khalid son of Al Walid, one of the closest companions of the Prophet. Recorded as one of the greatest general in history who never lost on a battle. Military Genius who serve the Prophet and the Rashidun Caliphate.

    Abū Sulaymān Khālid ibn al-Walīd ibn al-Mughīrah al-Makhzūmī or better known as The Sword of God. During his military leadership, the Arabian Peninsula was united for the first time in one political entity, namely the Caliphate. Khalid commanded the Muslim army, even though the Muslim army was newly formed and in most of the battle he always have disadvantage wether being outnumbered or poor equipment, Khalid and his troops never failed in more than 100 battles against the Byzantines, the Sassanids, and their allies including Arab tribes outside the Caliphate.

    Amongs his strategy achievement was the conquest of Persian Mesopotamia and Roman Syria in just four years in 632 to 636. Khalid is also remembered for his decisive victories at the battles of Yamamah, Battle of Ullais, and Battle of Firaz, and his tactical successes in the battle of Walaja and the Battle of Yarmouk

    One of the most famous anectdote about him was during The battle of Mu'tah which was the first battle between the Romans and the Muslims. He was appointed to be a substitute commanders after the three commanders in the Battle of Mu'tah were killed consecutively in the fierce battle.

    The battle was so intense that he used nine swords, all of which were broken in the battle. At that crucial moment, Khalid lead the army and with his brilliant strategy he fooled the enemy troops and saved his army from a complete destruction to fought in another day with better preparations. It was because of his achievements in this war that the Prophet revealed to Khalid ibn Walid that he was "The Drawn Sword of God".



    Lore :

    Khalid Ibn Walid a Noble Phantasm of God similar with the Chain of Heaven, Enkidu. He who born with the highest quality of warrior, have fought in countless battle and remained undefeated in every battle he is in.

    Since young he has been thaught martial arts and warfare like archery, swordsmanship, spearmanship, riding and various tactics.

    In his life he was never lost even once, ever since young where there a wrestling tournament being held every month, everytime he participate he always become the champion of the tournament. Later in his pre-islamic life, he fought against the Prophet and he become the only person who ever defeat the Prophet.

    After many things happened he eventually serve the Prophet and has been assigned to destroys Idols and Gods who resides in arabian peninsula. One of the famous legends about him where he fought against one of the chief Goddess of Arabia, the Great Goddess of Nakhla, Uzza The Mighty. Sure enough Khalid's Sword could even destroys the might of the Goddess of War which lead to the permanent annihilation of the Arabian phanteon.

    There was also a time where he crossed blade with the "demonic" entity known as Dead Apostle Ancestor and True Ancestor in the War of Apostasy. Those "demonic" entity took advantage of the death of the Prophet and declare themselves as the new Apostle and lead various rebellion across the newly born nation. Khalid who is the chief general of the Muslim army is sent to handle the rebellion lead by the False Apostle where he solve it in under a year.

    The most powerful opponent Khalid faced in the War of Apostasy was Musailamah who managed to manifest the Millennium Castle in his last moment by sacrificing all of his remaining men. Khalid said it was one of the most powerful opponent he faced in his life. The ruin of Castle Millennium is now called The Garden of Death.



    He continued his life on a path filled with victory, he who felt his growth had stopped, searching an opponent who might be able to defeat him, unfortunately that wish was something impossible.

    With the glory he brought, the people around him began to forget their God. Seeing this the caliph dismissed Khalid from the army so that people would again remember that the Absolute Sword of Victory was given to them from their God. Shortly after that, as if his dismissal was a sign that his mission in this world was over, all his friends and troops who fight alongside him in the path of victory died from a plague in which he joined them in under a year later and so the God has withdraw His Sword from this world.


    Relationships

    Khaula bint Al Azwar :

    "That's Khaula, the Azwar (Beautiful) knight... So you summon her too master. The only one who could continuously emulate my fighting skill, in other words she is indeed really amazing"


    Solomon :

    He really respects Solomon as one of the Prophet of the God. He even named his son after him which makes people often called him as "Father of Solomon".


    Gilgamesh :

    "The Golden King who have been praised as the King of Heroes, i see so he is the real deal, if possible i want to try fighting him once"


    Yu Meiren :

    "This hateful presence, no somehow it's different, too bad it's weaker than those i killed in the past"


    Musashi :

    "The one who seek the peak of the sword, what waits her is nothing but a hollow void. Indeed, thats what's the feeling of someone who stands at the peak, i understand it very well"



    Last edited by Bunhelier; February 25th, 2022 at 07:50 AM.

  6. #7686
    A.K.A. Rick, apparently realcasually's Avatar
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    WHEW. Finally caught up on the several months that I missed in this thread... and honestly seems like what I missed was... mostly people arguing with each other. Jeez, now I feel a little better about my hiatus...

    Aaaaaaanyway. There's too many sheets I missed to actually MENTION, but shout-outs to WF, DelRey, Morg and BnEl (especially BnEl) for churning out some absolute gold as usual. And thanks to the people who mentioned my characters in their relationships! That always gives me the warm fuzzies.

    Participating in the contest again this month inspired me a little to try and get back into the swing of making sheets again. I have a few still in the pipeline I'll try to chug along with.

  7. #7687
    Your average angst/edge supplier BnEl15's Avatar
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    Ay, glad to have you back. Looking forward to your next sheets.

  8. #7688
    A.K.A. Rick, apparently realcasually's Avatar
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    Honestly, the worst part? The backstory stuff. I LOVE coming up with the fun skills, the interesting NPs, the personalities, quotes, interactions... and then I have to transcribe a goddamn Wikipedia article. It's fun doing more off-the-wall stuff like Carroll and Lu Bu because I have much more room to actually just write what I want instead of having my hand forced into an essay, but I'm compelled to write about figures I find interesting who just so happen to have a mountain of lore as to why. I am my own undoing.

  9. #7689
    Your average angst/edge supplier BnEl15's Avatar
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    Hmm, my more recent Servants have lores that read like a semi-fanfic rather than just transcribing Wikipedia with minor alterations. Even if the figure doesn't have much wiggle room compared to more borderline OC sheets, writing the lore from scratch in your own words while adding on to their thoughts/perspectives regarding the things they went through would help add more character to the sheet and make it feel less bland. At least that's my style of doing things.

  10. #7690
    هههههههههههههههههههه Kamera's Avatar
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    Life is beautiful, but the kindness you showed me is the most beautiful thing there is.
    If I cannot have both, I will gladly let go of my life, so the world can have this kindness.





    Mencius appeared in the audience of King Hui of Liang. The King said, “Aged Sir, you have not regarded a thousand li as too great a distance to travel here – surely it must be that you have come to profit my state!”

    Mencius replied, “Your Majesty, why must you speak of profit? Indeed, there is nothing but humanity and righteousness. If Your Majesty says, ‘Whereby may I profit my state?’ your nobles shall say, ‘Whereby may I profit my family?’ and your gentlemen and common people shall say, ‘Whereby may I profit myself?’

    If right is placed to the rear and profit to the fore, such men will never be satisfied unless they seize it all. Never has a man of humanity abandoned his parents, and never has a man of right put himself before his ruler. May Your Majesty simply speak of humanity and righteousness. Why must you speak of profit?”



    Gaozi said, “Human nature is like water swirling at a wellspring. If you dig a channel towards the east it will flow east; if you dig a channel towards the west it will flow west. Human nature makes no distinction between good and bad, just as water makes no distinction between east and west.”

    Mencius said, “It is true that water makes no distinction between east and west, but does it make no distinction between up and down? The good disposition of human nature is like water’s tendency to flow down. There are no men who are not innately good, just as there is no water that does not flow down. Now, by splashing you can make water leap up higher than your forehead, and by churning it you can make it flow up a hill, but how could this be the nature of water? It is merely a result of force. The fact that men can be made to act badly merely shows that human nature is like this as well."



    He lived during the Warring States, when kings and princes sowed great chaos under heaven.
    But at the same era, an even fiercer battle was waged not through spears, swords nor arrows.
    Through speech and writings, a great war unfolded among the scholars and the philosophers.
    As the Hundred Schools of Thought contended for supremacy over the great questions of life.
    A question of a particular importance to him was of the fundamental nature of human beings.

    —What is the true nature of humanity?
    Some say that human nature is both good and evil.
    Others say there is no such thing as human nature.
    Some say the very essence of humanity is raw evil.
    But Mencius believed that humans are naturally good.



    “People are kind by nature.”
    How could such a thing be true, while this world is filled with so many evil people?
    How could one think so, while the world is in a state of constant war and suffering?
    Ah… How indeed, after witnessing all the wrongs of humanity... I can still say that—
    —despite it all, human beings are fundamentally good…?



    Class: Caster
    True Name: Mengzi
    Gender: Male
    Alignment: Lawful Good
    Origin: Historical Facts and Rumours, Confucianism
    Attribute: Man

    Mencius, the Second Sage, was the Chinese Philosopher second only to Confucius himself in importance to the development of the Confucian ideology.

    Like Confucius before him, he spent most of his life traveling the lands of ancient China, offering service and advice to rulers on how to reform their state—all in hope to find a Sage King that can benevolently rule All Under Heaven.

    (Fun fact: Mencius was technically a contemporary of Plato)

    Parameters:
    STR: C
    END: C
    AGI: A
    MGI: A+
    LCK: D
    NP: A

    Class Skills:
    Item Construction: B
    As a proper scholarly gentleman, Caster specializes in producing Items that correspond to the Four Arts (qin lyre, board game, calligraphy, and painting); the four basic catalysts for Chinese Magecraft.

    Territory Creation: A+
    The Skill to build a special terrain that is advantageous to oneself as a magus, such as for the purpose of collecting mana. Caster can build a Temple of Confucius, where he can temporarily obtain Divinity signifying his status as one of “Four Sages” of Confucianism. It also allows him to channel the Authority of the “God of Literature and Speech” to significantly boost his own Thought Key to a level equivalent to a Xian while within this Temple.

    Personal Skills:
    Cultivation Method - Four Sprouts: EX
    The Thought Key which Caster inherited as the fourth successor of Confucius. As one of the Three Great Teachings that dominates the ruling ideology of East Asia, the Thought Magecraft of Confucianism was originally built upon the Four Sprouts which Caster developed from Confucius’ teachings. These are: Humanity (仁), Justice (義), Ritual (禮) and Wisdom (智). A fifth, Faith ( 信),would be later added by Dong Zhongsu of the Han dynasty, becoming the Three Bonds and Five Virtues that forms the Confucian Eight Trigrams.

    In essence, these Virtues are the Confucian equivalent of the concept of Elements in magecraft. By cultivating one’s qi towards these sprouts of virtues, the practitioners of the Confucian Thought Magecraft are the masters of mind manipulation type spells.

    Mother’s Blessing: A
    A skill deriving from the popular Chinese idiom “Mencius’ mother moved three times” (孟母三迁), referring to the story of Caster’s childhood which exemplifies his inseparable bond with his beloved mother—the ultimate expression the ethics of Filial Piety treasured throughout East Asian cultures.

    As his mother (Meng Mu) has become a venerated figure in Confucianism, this skill also has obtained effects similar to the Affection of the Goddess skill, providing Caster with an absolute protection against all “corrupting influence of society”, whatever that means.

    Noble Phantasms:
    大丈夫
    All Under Heaven Will Be Right
    Da Zhang Fu
    Type: Anti-Army (Self)
    Rank: B

    It is not long from the era of a sage, and we are close to the home of a sage. Yet—Where is he?

    The quintessential wisdom of the Heavenly Sages taught by Confucius and emulated by various Scholar-Officials throughout Chinese history. A Noble Phantasm granted to those who followed Confucius’ footsteps and have “traveled the lands to find a Sage-King”. In essence, it allows Caster to provide guidance and advice to kings and rulers, so that they may obtain the Mandate of Heaven and rule as justly and benevolently as Yao and Shun—so that they can bestow All Under Heaven peace and prosperity.

    As a Noble Phantasm, it is capable of reproducing, enhancing and manipulating Authorities related to “civilization and statesmanship”, but only to individuals Caster deems worthy of being a “Sage-King”. Depending on the compatibility of the individual guided with this Noble Phantasm, they may obtain various authorities, such as a special Command Spell capable of executing directives on par to a Nation Building Authority.

    性善论
    Fundamental Good of Humanity
    Xing Shan Lun
    Type: Anti-Evil
    Rank: A+

    The great man is the one who hasn’t lost his child’s heart.
    All humans are born good, for Compassion is the seed of Humanity.

    The philosophical doctrine that Caster propounded, which became the central concept within the Confucian ideology. It is a Noble Phantasm that uncovers and commands “the goodness intrinsic to all humans”, accomplished through an extreme manipulation of the Four Sprouts which awaken the Four Hearts.

    In essence, by purging all elements of “inhumanity” from someone's mind, body and soul, this Noble Phantasm is capable of banishing their “Evil Nature” by compelling them to perform one act of kindness. The target’s moral Alignment will be forcefully changed into “Good”, but they will also suffer physical and mental damage in proportion to the degree of “evil, therefore inhuman” they possess.

    As long as one has some degree of “humanity, therefore goodness” in them, this Noble Phantasm will not be lethal. For anti-heroes who were compelled into evil acts through circumstances, their mind will regress into the mental age before they “become evil”. However, for those beings that embody “pure evil”, there is no option for them but complete incineration. Similarly, for those that are “not human” but possess “goodness, therefore humanity”, then this Noble Phantasm will grant them “the attributes of humanity”.

    - - - Updated - - -

    supposed to be my second entry, but I Ran Out of Time™
    Check out the officialTM Create-a-Servant discord server









    Blindfold your eyes, so that the approaching night may strike no fear in you.
    Let it not burden your soul, nor numb your strides.

  11. #7691
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    I half wanted you to use zhongli for whoever the morax host is but this is good too.

    I wonder what will happen if you used you used the second noble phantasm on a true ancestor or ultimate one or beast of humanity. I’d also like to know in specifics what the first np does.

  12. #7692
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Mengzi: A very good sheet, and you did well summarizing his philosophy. I imagine he'd get along well with my Mozi. That second NP seems like it could be heartwarming or creepy with how broad its effects are.

  13. #7693
    Grand Recorder DelRey's Avatar
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    I echo the previous opinions.
    Im wondering how you imagine Chinese magecraft to be like with what you described in Item Construction
    "Let's see the color of your coin, my friend."



    Behold my vault of Heroes.
    Where the Heavens and the Abyss breath the Music of Humanity.


    The King's duty is to provide. And provide, I shall.
    University of Formatting | Gallery of Potential | Memorandum of the Extra Class Kings

    Our Kingdom will grow. And we shall know each citizen.
    Create-a-Servant 4 soon.

  14. #7694
    هههههههههههههههههههه Kamera's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by NINE-lives View Post
    I wonder what will happen if you used you used the second noble phantasm on a true ancestor or ultimate one or beast of humanity. I’d also like to know in specifics what the first np does.
    Most of the big shots probably have enough HP to just tank it without problem; but with the right circumstances, he may pull a Type-Venus to an UO or a Yu Meiren to a TA; for Beasts, their love for humanity will be highlighted and maybe they will kill you slightly less painfully :v

    Quote Originally Posted by RoydGolden View Post
    Mengzi: A very good sheet, and you did well summarizing his philosophy. I imagine like he'd get along well with my Mozi. That second NP seems like it could be heartwarming or creepy with how broad its effects are.
    Thanks, I mostly just want to experiment with the recent Thought Magecraft concepts, but with focus on Mencius' Confucianism instead of Taoism. And yeah, he would get along with your Mozi, but they will forming bonds through dunking on each other.

    Quote Originally Posted by DelRey View Post
    Im wondering how you imagine Chinese magecraft to be like with what you described in Item Construction
    Glad you asked. Though I'm referring more specifically to the Confucian branch of Chinese thought magecraft.

    Guqin Zither

    Go Board Game

    Calligraphy

    Painting
    Check out the officialTM Create-a-Servant discord server









    Blindfold your eyes, so that the approaching night may strike no fear in you.
    Let it not burden your soul, nor numb your strides.

  15. #7695
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    I don't think I understand enough about Go to really know what's going on in that second image but it looks really cool.

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    夜魔 Nightmare Glazy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by realcasually View Post
    Honestly, the worst part? The backstory stuff. I LOVE coming up with the fun skills, the interesting NPs, the personalities, quotes, interactions... and then I have to transcribe a goddamn Wikipedia article. It's fun doing more off-the-wall stuff like Carroll and Lu Bu because I have much more room to actually just write what I want instead of having my hand forced into an essay, but I'm compelled to write about figures I find interesting who just so happen to have a mountain of lore as to why. I am my own undoing.
    Quote Originally Posted by BnEl15 View Post
    Hmm, my more recent Servants have lores that read like a semi-fanfic rather than just transcribing Wikipedia with minor alterations. Even if the figure doesn't have much wiggle room compared to more borderline OC sheets, writing the lore from scratch in your own words while adding on to their thoughts/perspectives regarding the things they went through would help add more character to the sheet and make it feel less bland. At least that's my style of doing things.
    This might be a hot take but, to me lore sections feel kinda bloated honestly. I feel like it's much better to me to have short interludes about your servants in their life rather than dumping a whole biography from birth to death. I feel that's more useful as its builds character. Mean it depends on how you write your lore section of course but to me most lore section just feels like a Wikipedia article and can just be summed up in the profile. Another thing that can help is having the servant commentate on their lore
    Last edited by Glazy; February 27th, 2022 at 03:26 AM.

  17. #7697
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Here's a sheet that could've fit the contest prompt that just ended. Having finished Around The World In 80 Days on Masterpiece I felt inspired to write this up. Like one other time I decided to format personality at the end this time for certain reasons that should become obvious. Be sure to click the collapse-text in the last line. As usual comments and critiques would be appreciated! Thanks for reading!


    Voyager Of Fictional Circumnavigation
    :

    Appearance:


    True Name: "Phileas Fogg"

    Alignment: Neutral Good

    Alternate Class: Rider

    Equipment: A carpetbag, two pistols she calls "Aouda" and "Passpartout", a gentleman's cane.

    Strength- D
    Agility- B
    Endurance- C+
    Mana- E
    Luck- B
    NP- C++


    Class Skills:

    Independent Navigation- B
    The Voyager Class' variation of Independent Action. A Skill granted to those famed for travelling through distant lands, whether to reach a destination or simply savoring the scenery along the way. Donates the Servant a bonus to Endurance and constant supply of magical energy per turn so long as they continue on their journey. As her legend is synonymous with crossing the world and braving all kinds of exotic climates Voyager obtains a high rank in this Skill.

    Riding- C+
    The ability to ride animals and handle vehicles. Voyager can ride any of the vehicles she produces through her first Noble Phantasm. Ranked up if it's a "symbol of human progress" like trains, cars, blimps, steamships, etc.


    Personal Skills:

    Talented In Every Field- B
    Voyager has many talents that bely her seemingly sheltered upbringing, being a skilled sailor, card-player, markswoman and engineer amongst others. It's unknown how she learned any of these skills given Voyager's complete secrecy about her personal history, but they testify to her having quite a colorful life even prior to her famous adventure. As a Servant Voyager can use any of the abilities she displayed in life at a C~B ranked proficiency as well as pick up new ones at an accelerated rate. The knack of a true adventurous polymath.

    Golden Rule- C
    Qualifies one's fortune to attract wealth. At this rank, the Servant can easily live a lifetime untroubled by money. Voyager was known for her vast fortune that no one could figure out how she'd acquired. Despite being seemingly an idle aristocrat who only frequented clubs and played whist all day she somehow had enough money to finance a trip around the world alongside countless charitable ventures.

    Calm And Collected- B
    The ability to suppress one's emotions and calmly observe the surroundings, guiding towards the most optimum tactics. Grants plus correction to mental interference, especially against confusion or impatience. No matter whether embarking on an impossible journey across the world, on ships rocked by stormy seas or with bullets whizzing past her head Voyager's expression of calm stoicism never faltered. Another name for this Skill would be "stiff upper lip".

    Pioneer Of The Stars (False)- EX
    A unique Skill granted to those heroes who became turning-points in human history. Difficult voyages and challenges considered "impossible" are transformed into "events that can be realized". Voyager's circumnavigating the world in eighty days was a monumental achievement that demonstrated the power and efficiency of new technology.

    However as she is merely a fictional creation of a certain writer to exemplify technological progress, Voyager lacks the True version of this Skill held by pioneers who actually performed revolutionary feats. Rather than having the ability to do the impossible herself, she can merely inspire others to do so. Grants an equivalent rank in Pioneer Of The Stars to Voyager's allies.


    Noble Phantasms
    Le Tour Du Monde
    An Adventurer Packs Lightly


    Rank: C++

    Type: Support

    Voyager was renowned for her amazing feats traversing the globe, yet she never brought any vehicles herself. The only luggage she carried when embarking on her journey was a humble carpetbag stashed with 20000 pound notes- half her life's fortune- which she exchanged for any modes of transportation needed along the way.

    As a Servant the carpetbag has been sublimated into a pocket-dimension containing every vehicle she procured across her adventure. By merely reaching inside Voyager can pull out a train (that drives on ethereal tracks of magical energy), an Indian elephant, a steamship, a wind-powered sled and even a dirigible (that she never actually flew in the book but is commonly associated with). Since they expand explosively back to their original size when removed she can also repurpose this as an attack to catch foes by surprise.

    Additionally any of these rides can be employed as Broken Phantasms, overclocking their capacity in return for a brief burst of amazing speed until they burn out and collapse. This represents Voyager's carelessness in only relying on a given method of travel long enough to reach where she needed to go before abandoning it once it fulfilled that purpose (one time even purchasing an entire steamship only to dismantle the wooden quarters to feed into the engine to surmount the last leg of her journey).


    Miracle Du Dernier Jour
    Miracle Born From A Simple Miscalculation


    Rank: D+

    Type: Support

    Arriving late in London, Voyager briefly despaired at having lost her wager only to find out at the last second that she'd gained a day thanks to constantly travelling in the direction of the sun. Overcome by relief and desperation Voyager made a mad-dash for the Reform Club where she'd sworn to return at precisely 8:45 PM, getting there just in time to win the bet.

    That twist crystallizes into Voyager's second Noble Phantasm. Taking the form of an antique silver pocketwatch it holds the concept of one minute worth of "extra" time, equal to the final minute before she threw open the doors of the Reform Club. Upon invoking the true name Voyager can lengthen the time any action takes to unfold from her perspective by up one full minute. This seemingly gives her superspeed as in a pitched battle even a few extra seconds to deliberate the opponent's moves and plot countermeasures would make it appear Voyager has uncanny reflexes.

    However the watch only stores one minute's worth of time and each usage will deplete it, signified by the frozen hand ticking ever forwards. As such Voyager usually maximizes this Noble Phantasm's effects by only using a few seconds at a time, enough to evade a single attack or enact a strategy. Once all 60 seconds are exhausted this Noble Phantasm is merely an ordinary pocketwatch that keeps excellent London time.


    Personality
    Likes: routine, human innovation, her travelling companions
    Dislikes: disruptions in her schedule, inquiries into her personal life, those who doubt her adventures
    Talents: punctuality, everything necessary for a gentleman adventurer, playing whist
    Natural Enemy: Gabriel Nicolas de la Reynie

    Acts like a quintessential British gentle(wo)man, stoical and dignified. However that coexists with an eccentric sense of adventure and unwavering faith in humanity's technological progress. She will unhesitantly agree to the most audacious bet or wager provided it can be accomplished through human effort. Despite her reserved (some might say robotic) nature Voyager does have some humane traits, namely a concern for those she considers companions on her adventures and compassion for those less fortunate than herself.

    Due to past experiences she's somewhat leery of inspector-type Servants, wondering if they'd end up pursuing her like in her legend.

    Occasionally a more energetic side bursts out of Voyager that seems incongruous to her usual unflappable demeanor. This occurs whenever she encounters anything she considers an "exciting story" on her travels, in which case she'll whip out a pen and paper and eagerly jot it down. "Hmm... why am I summoned as a woman despite being depicted as male in my book? W-well, technological progress equalizes the abilities of men and women, so there's really no reason a woman couldn't have performed that journey as well as a man. I guess the Grail just recognized that fact," she explains with a hand on her chin, looking slightly nervous for some reason.


    Faker of Investigative Reporting:

    Appearance:

    True Name: Nellie Bly/Elizabeth Cochran

    Alignment: Neutral Good

    Alternate Classes: Rider, Berserker (False), Assassin, Voyager

    Equipment: A carpetbag, pen and notebook ("A journalist's greatest weapons," she insists), two pistols to defend herself on her travels.

    Strength- E
    Agility- C
    Endurance- C
    Mana- E
    Luck- C+
    NP- C++

    Personality
    An adventurous and headstrong reporter. She displays almost manic eagerness in pursuing an exciting scoop, willing to cross hell and high water to obtain her desired story. This isn't mere thrill-seeking however as Faker has a strong sense of justice driving her as a journalist. She's determined to hold the powerful accountable and shed light on those who suffered away from the public eye. With a pen as her sword and her journal a staunch buckler, this modern-day knight cuts a path through the darkness of ignorance and deception to liberate the innocent truth.

    Faker is an openminded individual whose willing to try almost anything at least once for the sake of a story; having dabbled in elephant-riding, ballet dancing and visited a haunted-house across her career. She actually feels nervousness and hesitation like a normal person but suppresses them, putting on the front of an unshakably self-assured daredevil for the sake of her readers who invest their faith in her. Faker is well-aware that she's an icon of millions of girls and women who draw courage from her, and for that reason doesn't allow herself to show fear or doubts. Even if terrified inside, she will certainly give a defiant grin and write out her story until the very moment it comes to an end.

    She deeply admires science-fiction novels like those by Jules Verne which envision new possibilities and ways of living for humanity. Such a story ignited the idea for her famous journey around the world, and is the reason for Faker manifesting as a Servant under the nom-de-plume Phileas Fogg- a way to honor her inspiration and the star she strove to surpass in life. Though given her more whimsical side it can't be denied that having fun playing the role of a stereotypical English gentleman also formed part of Faker's motivation.

    As a journalist she's naturally suspicious of authority figures like rulers, police and priests. While she won't automatically find fault in them Faker will carefully observe to see if they're hiding something. Due to past trauma from her stint undercover at Blackwell Asylum she has a moderate phobia of hospitals and especially the idea of being restrained or imprisoned against her will. As a more comical trait Faker is also afraid of ghosts though she vocally insists they don't exist. She tries not to think about the fact that Heroic Spirits are technically ghosts being souls summoned from the distant past.

    Likes: exposing the truth, travelling, women's rights, science-fiction, trying new things
    Dislikes: the powerful abusing the powerless, ignorant chauvinists, feeling stuck in one place, mental hospitals, ghosts
    Talents: journalism, circumnavigating the world
    Natural Enemy: William Randolph Hearst


    Class Skills:

    Camouflage- B
    A Skill that allows a Servant to disguise their Class and parameters. At rank B, it is possible to fool an opponent by appearing as another Class or with different parameters. Gained from the lengths she would go to immerse herself in a role as an undercover reporter, as well as carrying out a voyage most famously tied to a fictional character.

    Riding- C+
    The ability to ride animals and handle vehicles. Same as under her Voyager guise, granted by Faker's first Noble Phantasm.


    Personal Skills:

    Muckraking- A+
    Denotes one's occupation as a journalist devoted to exposing the wrongdoings of authority figures and bringing to light truths concealed from the public eye. From going undercover at a factory at age 18 to document the exploitative conditions there, to travelling to Mexico to report on the tyranny of dictator Porfirio Díaz, not to mention her famous stint at an insane asylum, there's many anecdotes of Faker putting herself in peril for the sake of uncovering a truth others wished to keep hidden. Her daring acts pioneered the investigative reporting of the 20th century, making Faker the "mother of modern journalism".

    As Heroic Spirits are beings created from the masses' belief and reverence Faker's ability to shape such intangibles through her pen obtains newfound power against them. This Skill allows Faker to apply demerits to an enemy Servant's parameters in proportion to how much dirt she can dredge up on them. If she observes the target long enough to gather a plethora of negative information this might even seal certain Skills or Noble Phantasms revolving around divine or regal authority.

    The definition of "dirt" here isn't just negative information but must be something the Servant took at least some effort to conceal. For instance "Gilles de Rais is a serial killer" wouldn't qualify since that's something he freely admits, while "Edison is a plagiarist" or "Columbus massacred the Natives" would. A rather situational Skill that's mainly useful against authority figures who wish to keep their ill deeds away from the public eye. Those who made few mistakes in life or absolutely owned up to them would be exempt from it.

    Feminist- C
    A Skill awarded to those who were influential in championing the empowerment of women. Faker's bold reporting contributed greatly to the fledging Feminist movement by proving women could be just as capable journalists as men and shining a light on those marginalized by society. Serves as a variant of Independent Action, allowing Faker to draw on a small amount of Mana from every woman who shares her struggle for freedom.

    This isn't enough to incur the harmful effects of Mana deprivation on any individual but collectively can support Faker to remain in the World for a few days in the absence of a Master. This Skill is stronger in eras where women's rights are a universal concept and would be weakened if she were summoned in time-periods where the Feminist movement didn't exist yet.

    Legacy Of The Stars- EX
    A support version of Pioneer Of The Stars held by one who made another's impossible dream into reality. Faker actually completed the voyage conceived by Jules Verne in his hallmark novel "
    Le Tour Du Monde
    Around The World In Eighty Days
    ", and at even less time than the central protagonist. Though not one to envision the impossible herself she can accomplish it while carrying the dream of another. However this is dependent on motivation as Faker needs to find the original dream worthwhile before dedicating herself to realizing it.


    Noble Phantasms
    Around The World In 72 Days
    An Adventuress Packs Lightly


    Rank: C++

    Type: Support

    A crystallization of Faker's landmark trip around the world, inspired by the character of Phileas Fogg from Jules Verne's "
    Le Tour Du Monde
    Around The World In Eighty Days
    ". It has the same effect as the analogous Noble Phantasm under her Voyager guise, letting Faker extract any vehicle associated with either Fogg's circumnavigation or her own. This is thanks to their legends being entangled as Verne's creation is only a fictional character so Faker is recognized by the World as "the real life Phileas Fogg".


    Ten Days In A Mad-House
    This Whole World's A Madhouse And I The Only Sane


    Rank: C

    Types: Anti-Category, Anti-Unit (Anti-Mind)

    A Noble Phantasm sublimating Faker's greatest feat of undercover journalism, passing herself off as insane to be admitted into a mental asylum and investigate the conditions there. Ten days she spent in the Blackwell Asylum suffering abuse, malnourishment and neglect at the hands of the orderlies alongside the other unfortunate women interred there- many of whom Faker suspected were little more "mad" than herself. No matter how vigorously she tried to protest her sanity all of Faker's pleas were willfully misinterpreted as mere further evidence of her madness. When she was finally released, Faker penned a revolutionary tell-all exposing the appalling treatment of the "insane" in asylums across America.

    As a Noble Phantasm this embodies the concept "inversion of sanity and madness". Any attack that enforces a "judgment" upon Faker such as evil, criminal or even woman will be reflected to instead target her assailant. For instance if a sword that punishes lawbreakers were swung at her, it would turn around to instead cleave the neck of her would-be executioner with the same damage bonus as if they were the proper target from the beginning. This Noble Phantasm donates Faker immunity to any effects ranked C or lower that condemn a specific category such as man/woman, pious/heretic, lawful/criminal or sane/mad, while repelling the malicious effects onto the one who casted said judgment. After all, in Faker's eyes it's the authority figures who perpetuate senseless cruelty on those beneath them that are truly "mad".

    Upon invoking the true name, Faker may pronounce a judgment of "mad" upon the opponent, interring them within the walls of Blackwell Asylum where she once dwelt. A Reality Marble in the shape of a shadowy sanitarium manifests enclosing the target with monstrous ill-shaped figures clad in nurse uniforms appearing to restrain them. Warped by the trauma she experienced there the already bleak Blackwell Asylum has become a nightmarish otherworld where countless tortures are committed at the hands of smiling demons in nurse's attire.

    Functioning on the same phenomenon of inverted logic authorities that would deny one's imprisonment like divine blessing or kingship instead become reasons barring one's escape. In essence, a prison that grows sturdier in proportion to the target's "untouchability". For Servants whose power comes from their status and titles like Kings and Presidents this is a truly crippling curse that makes escape nearly impossible. Conversely those who only relied on their abilities as humans will find it easier to break free.

    Aside from escape the only way out is to make it through the ten days that Faker endured with one's mind intact. During that time the "
    victim
    patient
    " has to undergo the same trials she did, such as starvation, beating and isolation. Should they succeed, the asylum dissolves into smoke to release them with no physical wounds from their ordeal. Time is distorted within the Reality Marble so what feels like ten days on the inside will only elapse in a few moments from Faker's view. If one genuinely goes insane during that time they'll never return to reality, becoming another one of the nameless and forgotten shades wandering the asylum's confines.

    While it offers a taste of the imprisonment Faker and countless other women suffered she dislikes invoking this Noble Phantasm, not wanting anyone else to go through what she did. However if she encounters someone who has no qualms callously abusing their authority on the powerless Faker would be sorely tempted to invoke it.

  18. #7698
    Your average angst/edge supplier BnEl15's Avatar
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    Dang, I wanted to do Nellie Bly a long time ago, but never figured out what her NP could do. I like it, especially your version of 10 Days in a Madhouse. Much better than the simple "faking madness" effect I came up with. Gotta admire your ability to... conceptualize things into creative NPs, I think that's one of your strongest points.

  19. #7699
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BnEl15 View Post
    Dang, I wanted to do Nellie Bly a long time ago, but never figured out what her NP could do. I like it, especially your version of 10 Days in a Madhouse. Much better than the simple "faking madness" effect I came up with. Gotta admire your ability to... conceptualize things into creative NPs, I think that's one of your strongest points.
    I have to admit, I probably would've gone for the obvious "fake Mad Enhancement" effect were it not for the fact that it would've been already encompassed by her being in the Faker Class. So I kinda' had to come up with something more creative. And thanks for the feedback!

  20. #7700
    Grand Recorder DelRey's Avatar
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    voyager alone is great, the twist was surprising, but a good surprise. Cool sheet overall
    "Let's see the color of your coin, my friend."



    Behold my vault of Heroes.
    Where the Heavens and the Abyss breath the Music of Humanity.


    The King's duty is to provide. And provide, I shall.
    University of Formatting | Gallery of Potential | Memorandum of the Extra Class Kings

    Our Kingdom will grow. And we shall know each citizen.
    Create-a-Servant 4 soon.

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