I fucking love that Caenis interaction so much.
I fucking love that Caenis interaction so much.
Thanks so much! What do you think of Pele and him in general?
I like how you used best boy kaeya in your faceclaim
Thanks. What do you think of Pele?
Originally Posted by BnEl15
Thank the both of you for the compliments. Anytime I write for any character I always try to refrain from making statements like "They are this kind of person and despise X" - Something I hilariously failed at with my first post here. And, I'll try my best to continue to mix you that just-right blend of nice and angst, sir. It's a favourite of mine too.
Anyway, other Servants:
Trinitie Vengeance
The Bikini Atoll is one of my "favourite" tales of human history, as much as the complete contamination of a place where people use to live can be considered a "favourite". The sheet is great! It's kind of eerie, which fits really well. Although, I'm a little sad that there wasn't a section of panicked Oppenheimer screaming in the Relationships section, but who really needs that with a sheet like that anyway?
Semele/Dionysus
*Insert comment about HADES game*
Anyway, it's an all-around good sheet! I don't quite understand why exactly they're considered a Foreigner? Maybe my understanding of how the class works is a bit wrong, but I thought it required contact with creatures that were more Lovecraftian. Having said that, Dionysus is also the god of madness, so I suppose there's some thematic overlap there.
I'll be a little mean and lump Pele and Andvari together because most of what I have to say about one I could also say about the other. I mostly wish there was a little more to them. Their sheets are really short which is a little sad, to be honest. I honestly agree with what WF said about your sheets being a bit barebone.
The flavour text that is there is fun and interesting, particularly with Andvari, and Dionysus and Semele, so I don't doubt your ability to write that kind of thing. Pele for example is a mythical figure with a lot of personality. She goes around as an old woman nowadays and asks for booze and smokes for crying out loud! What kind of deity does that? Yet, her sheet sadly has only very little of that personality.
Try your hand a little more at writing flavour text, rather than just explaining what a skill does in "in-game" terms. Looking at what flavour text you have written, I don't doubt that you can do it and do a good job with it! It would add a lot to your sheets.
Hi. Thanks for your comments! I'll add a bit more to both of them. The idea is that Dionysus after the fall of the age of gods fled the planet due to a gap created by the character in one of my next sheets (What if Persephone was actually a Lovecraftian God who fused into the pantheon when they arrived), and ascended to an Evil God (lovecraftian god) now known as the Great Old One Gloon.
Oh and for Pele, the idea is that those aspects of her are mostly in one of the other forms: Old Woman form and Curses in Assasin, Roaring force of Nature in berserker, stoker of the flame in Caster, and this is her most relaxed-ish form, not taking on any of those and focusing on her Lava surfing.
Last edited by jishara; April 7th, 2022 at 06:12 PM.
berserker of the American dream
Class: berserker
Other Classes:saber,rinder,lancer
True Name: Uncle sam
Alignment: neutral Good
Place of Origin: North America,USA
Parameters:
STR A(EX)
END B+(A+)
AGI C(
MGI D
LCK C
NP
Height:6,1
Weight:190id
Likes: AMURICA,being patriotic, any kind of military and their personal, democracy
Dislikes: anything anti-American, communism
Talent: convincing people to do things
Natural Enemy: anything anti-American, anything that tries to take the others freedom
Attribute:Man
Traits:Hominidae Servants,male,week to Enuma Elish
Armament: in his berserker form only his fists
Catalyst: the original Uncle Sam poster
Class Skills:
[Madness enhancement] D(A): normally berserker has this skill at the almost it's a little string simply having it because of his class. But under certain circumstances which or explained with his " Shadow of America" skill they can rank up to a coming with all the benefits and downsides that gives.
Riding B+: normally this still is reserved for cavalry class berserker gains its through America's frequent use of vehicles in their wars. Any vehicle whether that be living, machine, land, air, aquatic berserk is able to use it with high proficiency as long as America has been known to use it.
Personal Skills:
HE FISTS OF FREEDOM[/B] B: berserker technically could use any weapon on gun that you wanted and be somewhat nutrition with them. But none would hold a candle to this. This is a fighting style that's a mix. of MMA and boxing to very common to come from America. What's but that's not what makes this fighting style so deadly. Additionally, to the peer technique berserkers strikes also do more damage against people. He sees us going against freedom and the values of American in general.
charisma B: A skill granted to berserker because of the appearance he has taken that being of the widely known American propaganda icon Uncle Sam. During the world wars It was immensely successful in bringing people to rally around. America's war efforts and have people join the army. Because of this, berserker has been granted it at B rank. With this manifesting in berserker being extremely charismatic and being able to uplift people in even the most dire of situations
Noble Phantasm(s):
berserker after they user there np
America's shadow
Title The brightest lights give off the darkest shadows
Type: anti-unit/anti army
Rank:A+
Range: 35
Max Targets: 1(self)
Hey Noble, Phantasm normally sealed away from berserker, under certain circumstances, it's able to be unsealed and accessed by berserker." America shadow the brightest lights give off the darkest shadows" Is a Noble Phantasm that is unsealed whenever berserker is losing a fight whenever he's put everything he's got into something and it still isn't enough. When berserker activates this Noble Phantasm he has a snap of sorts. He has a complete personality swap coming from a compassionate charismatic leader figure that will always fight for justice and freedom. To a unhinged psychopath that will murder and destroy anything that stands in his way for victory. When this Noble Phantasm is activated berserkers madness enhancement is tremendously enhanced to the rink of A. Along with this when this Phantasm is activated. It seals away his charisma skill. Even with all of the power that this event hasn't provides, there is one tremendous drawback. It has a strict time limit, due to the nature of this noble phantasm and what berserker represents activating it fundamentally goes against what he is, what his being is, so the longer that he is in it the more strain it puts on his saints craft and if he's in it too long he can tear his sinks graft apart from the stress destroying and killing himself from the inside out.
Lore:
Berserker doesn't have a history to say of his own, That's because berserker is not a person enough himself. He is America similar to how Romulus is the representation of Rome. Berserker is the representation of America and all of its achievements. But instead of taking shape in the body of a person, berserker has taken form and one of America's most well-known figures. Uncle Sam, a. Wartime propaganda that became instantly successful in recruiting soldiers for the first two world wars and is still a well-known of American history to this day.
Personality: berserker is a basically the embodiment of a superhero or what superheroes were seen as. He's a fearless leader that always stands for the good and right and fiercely believes in his ideals and will do whatever he can to uphold those ideals. Those being the ideals of America. In non-battle situations he comes off mostly the same. He's a polite gentleman that will go on and on about horror stories. He has a special fun this for children and will treat them almost like he's their grandpa.a
Qp
Creator Notes: (bin a bit super like the idea for this guy hope i did ok )
Source: Rafael Amorim
Class: Caster
Other Classes: N/A
True Name: Hopoe
Alignment: Neutral Good
Place of Origin: Hawaiian Mythology
Parameters:
STR: D
END: E
AGI: B
MGI: B
LCK: E
NP: B
Height: 170cm
Weight: 150lb
Likes: Dancing, Hi'iaka
Dislikes: Clumsiness
Talent: Hula
Natural Enemy: Edison
Attribute: Earth
Traits: Female, Humanoid, weak to Enuma Elish
Armament: Her hula hoop
Catalyst: The Standing Stone named Hopoe
Class Skills:
Item Creation (Forest) B: Allows her to create items by drawing on nature to create them. Hence, this is better while she is in nature.
Territory Creation (Wild) B: Allows her to create a Forested territory that is as powerful as a workshop, but has one additional bonus: it becomes a natural territory.
Personal Skills:
Affection of the Hero God A+: Due to her status as the only lover of Hi'iaka, the goddess who rejuvenates the earth and had many adventures, Hopoe gains an extremely high rank, allowing her to gain rank-ups to every stat upon beginning combat. In addition, she is also capable of controlling the soil and plant-life of the earth slightly.
The Encircled One B: Allows her to manifest trees growing out of the ground. However, each tree is very weak and mainly serves to create natural terrain for a short time. In addition, they are sacred to Hi'iaka, so every time an enemy destroys one, Hopoe gains a temporary rank-up in a stat of her choice.
Noble Phantasm(s):
Hula
Language Of The Forest
Type: Anti-Army
Rank: B
Range: 100 meters
Max Targets: 1000
The sublimation of her status as the first Hula dancer. This passively allows her to hear the knowledge of the forest. When invoked, she immediately channels the power of the nature around her, increasing this the more of it there is. Then, she unleashes it into a pattern forming thousands upon thousands of leis which swirl around the targets, before brutally slicing them.
Hopoe
The Standing Stone
Type: Support
Rank: B
Range: 0 meters
Max Targets: 0
The sublimation of her transformation into a standing stone. When she invokes it, she enters a stance wherein she cannot be knocked down or pushed around in any way, although she can still be hit. In addition, her skin becomes stone which cannot be hit by anything weaker then a B ranked noble phantasm.
Lore:
Hopoe was a mortal woman and the lover of Hi'iaka. She was granted a gift by the Goddess of Forests, the ability to understand and interpret the forest through her own dancing. Hi'iaka left to find Pele her lover, but made Pele promise to keep Hopoe and the sacred grove safe. However, when Hi'iaka hadn't returned yet after 40 days, Pele burned down the grove, chased down Hopoe, and transformed her into a standing stone.
Personality: A kind and generous girl, often trying to help everyone. However, she dislikes people who pollute or alter the glory of nature. If she were to make a wish, it would be that Pele had waited one more day for Hi'iaka to arrive, and then Hopoe could have survived.
Relationships:
Edison: "How dare you? You have destroyed so much of nature. How dare you ruin it?"
Blavatsky: "Hello Ms. Blavatsky. Do you need anything? If so, please let me know, and I'll get it for you right away!"
Karna: "If you don't mind, please don't use your spear in nature. It razes everything!"
Creator Notes:
Weird question: what would you say is your niche as a servant creator. What I mean by this is that everyone on her has a different style and niche for the servants they make. Cursed is our grand servant guy. Delrey is our psychologist and foreigner guy. Wyvern is our Brazil guy. What’s your niche as a servant creator.
I truly have no idea. If I have one, I haven't noticed it.
I'd say I'm the one who focuses on very obscure/odd characters mostly e.g. Eglon, Elisabeth, Atropos, Aillen, Abhartach, Bianca Sforza, Hopoe, Aylith, Prokokiev, Stravinsky, Atahualpa as a rider, Seuss..., but also I really enjoy and have been doing a lot of foreigners.
Source: Cris Ortega
Class: Foreigner
Other Classes: Caster (as Kore), Ruler (as the Queen Of The Dead), Assasin (as Melitodes)
True Name: Despoina aka Persephone
Alignment: Chaotic Good
Place of Origin: Greek Mythology
Parameters:
STR: C
END: D
AGI: B
MGI: A
LCK: C
NP: A+
Height: 180cm
Weight: 140lbs
Likes: Mysteries, Greek Gods and Heroes
Dislikes: The Age of Man
Talent: Allowing the Gods to flee Earth
Natural Enemy: Sherlock Holmes
Attribute: Sky
Traits: Female, Divine
Armament: No weapon held
Catalyst: Elussinian Mysteries (any form)
Class Skills:
Existence Out Of The Domain B: As an Evil God, she would normally have this at the maximum rank, but her connection to the Greek pantheon and her existence under her identity as Despoina makes this rank drop down to B. This designates an existence able to live in the void of space.
Divinity A+: As a member of the Greek pantheon and an Evil God, she gains a very high rank in this skill.
Insanity N/A: As this is after she connected with the Olympians, she is completely sane in this form.
Personal Skills:
Queen Of The Dead B: The nature as the queen of the dead. As Despoina/Persephone took on this role, although it is a significantly lower rank as Foreigner as opposed to Ruler or Assassin, she gains the ability to control undead. This takes the affect of essentially two command seals that she has per servant.
Infomation Erasure B: Due to the Elussinian mysteries not being allowed to be spoken about, she gains a fairly high rank in this skill. Whenever she leaves, the only information left is that a god was there and did whatever she did.
Persephone A: The sublimation of her status as bringer of death, she can far more easily cause death in her area.
Noble Phantasm(s):
Despoina
Lady Of The Mysteries5
Type: Anti-Army
Rank: A+
Range: 100 meters
Max Targets: 1000 Targets
This noble phantasm is the sublimation of her most powerful feat, rending the veil in such a way that her fellow gods could ascend and escape the fall of the Age of Gods. When invoked, the veil shatters around her, and she uses the magic in such a way as to terrify and severely physically harm her targets.
Lore: Despoina is otherwise known as the goddess Persephone, the kind queen of the spring. Except, she's not kind, and she's not the queen of the spring. In truth, Persephone is one of the oldest gods on the planet, arriving at the same time as Tiamat. She took control over the areas surrounding Greece. When the Olympians arrived, she decided that she didn't want to face down an entire pantheon of gods for control over her own domain, so she instead decided to help them, allying with them and loaning them some of her power, while she took on the role of Queen of the Underworld. She grew close to them, and they became dear friends and eventually true family. When the Age of the Gods fell, Persephone knew she would last, but she didn't want her family to fall here. So she split the veil as she left, allowing many of her family members, including the Hamadryads and Dionysus, to anchor themselves via ascension to or contract with an Evil God.
Personality:
A very kind and cheerful person. In this form, she is the most human and most understandable, ironically, as as Ruler she is extremely cold-hearted, and as Caster and Assassin she is mildly insane. She loves working with her family, the Greek gods. Her wish is that the Age of Gods would have never fallen.
Relationships:
Artemis: "Artemis! Sister! How have you been? Are you all right?"
Paris: "Apollo? Why are you a sheep? Oh no, did you get trapped in this form after the fall? Oh good, it's just your choice to manifest as it."
Odysseus/Achilles/Heracles: "Hello brave heroes. How have you been? I'm excited to work with you. Who am I? It's Persephone!" (the hero quavers in fear) "Don't worry. I'm here to help."
Other than writing too much for the Personality and Lore sections, I don't think I have a particular niche.
"Here's a bangin lil' tune about takin' on The Man!"
(Check out my Super Special Awesome Servant Compendium here)
I think I can say, with some level of confidence, that I focus very much on Germans and WW1/2. Hell, I've got one new German Servant practically finished and like three or four more in the works. Y'know, having a modicum of national pride over here.
some have niches in which they specialize in, some dont. It is a matter of interests that crystallizes. One does not make a Servant unless they are interested in them, right? But one can define everyone by different things.
I started out as the Foreigner Guy. But again, I see myself more as a Conceptual Guy. This leads to my exploration of divinity, art, music, outer gods and psychology. I will still cling to my crown as Foreigner King tho.
Wyvern has the overarching plot for each entry, not just "Brazil". BnEl makes character studies on more modern and sidelined characters. WF invites us on emotional journeys with almost original characters. Hux shows us the pinnacle of nasuverse concepts. Drangle takes modern issues and political statements and makes them into superb sheets. NMR has a deep understanding on his often philosophical characters that remains unique to me. pinetree is similar to wyvern but instead of an overarching plot, he can create a deep plot within. Vanatos can make sheets about the absurd, kiwi too, both their own brand of craziness. Royd's style is that he can do anything. He will be the one that completes the Throne. Morg is the Arthurian but also the one that explains the history in great detail. Skull is similar but he branches out to whole of britain and the germanics with all their 'later mythology'. Vance can distill the essence of certain people into a short form that rarely feels lacking. Kamera can show us the larger than life characters and makes them feel like that as well with grand rhetoric and philosophy. DesReploid digs his trenches into the war era.
Those I didnt mention either have a style I can not yet define or I have nothing positive to say to...sry
- - - Updated - - -
one of us, one of us. If you do a german musician or poet or something that may be in my ballpark hit me up
"Let's see the color of your coin, my friend."
Behold my vault of Heroes.
Where the Heavens and the Abyss breath the Music of Humanity.
The King's duty is to provide. And provide, I shall.
University of Formatting | Gallery of Potential | Memorandum of the Extra Class Kings
Our Kingdom will grow. And we shall know each citizen.
Create-a-Servant 4 soon.
Hey delrey, i feel like jishara is encroaching on your throne as king of foreigners.
On a more basic level, rather than character studies, I feel like I focus more on "humans". I rarely touch on more advanced concepts and large overarching narratives, and focus largely on each individual character's personal struggles. If my recent Joshua was any indication, even in a setting filled with gods, prophets, and other powerful figures, I still tend to focus on the more self-contained "human" side of things.
Edit: Wouldn't be too surprising for my sheets to intersect with other styles here tho. Kamera's Demon God project, Del's artsy side, WF's wholesome fluff...
Territory Infringement EX is real.
Last edited by BnEl15; April 8th, 2022 at 12:00 PM.
Hmmmm I kinda want to do a foreigner but they seem like weird servents to do. Form what I understand there basically things that are beyond human understanding correct?
Sheets that are basically complimentary to other sheets but my bread and butter as said by others is simple yet effective sheets.
Last edited by Vance; April 8th, 2022 at 02:44 PM.
If I had to describe my typical sheet, it's generally my power to take that which already exists in canon, and make it my own, even if it's only loosely. It can be as literal as the Pseudo-Servants (of which there are many), to Noble Phantasms based on existing concepts (the Ghost Zeppelin in Lincoln's sheet), the broader idea of the Servant (the Riders), all the way to being a spiteful take on a conceptually similar (at the time of the sheet's writing) idea (Nero and her Therion, opposing BQ Draco/Sodom's Beast/Garbage).
Quite often the origin story of these is that I sit down, Cernunnos reaches his long, fuzzy arm up from Paradise and gives me a hilarious idea based on an existing lore trivia, and I scrawl it onto my to-do list.
For example, I have aconcept for E. A. Poe, but it's on backburner until I finish at least one of my contest submissions (if Nosu should bless it, both).funny bird momenthilarious
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