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Thread: Create-A-Servant 2

  1. #4381
    Bitchin' Arashi_Leonhart's Avatar
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    Iskandar's chariot vaporized by Excalibur
    Medusa's pegasus vaporized by Excalibur
    Diarmuid deliberately breaking Gae Buidhe
    Rho Aias j-j-jammed into by Gae Bolg
    UBW's copies and GoB's originals against each other

  2. #4382
    アルテミット・ワン Ultimate One asterism42's Avatar
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    Pegasus also gets shanked by Fragarach in Prillya, and even if that doesn't count, it could probably happen in normal canon anyway.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sandstorm77 View Post
    He's just putting the bone of his sword into other people until it explodes and lets out parts of him inside them.
    Quote Originally Posted by AvengerEmiya View Post
    Genderswaps are terrible, but I think I and other people would hate them less if Fate didn't keep ignoring actual heroines throughout history and folklore. Like, why bother turning Francis Drake into a woman when Ching Shih and Grace O'Malley exist?
    Quote Originally Posted by Five_X View Post
    Fate Zero is just Fate Stay Night for people who think Shirou is too girly
    Quote Originally Posted by Comun View Post
    I think Alex IV can eat Goku.

  3. #4383
    It's All Good! 4score7years's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Arashi_Leonhart View Post
    Iskandar's chariot vaporized by Excalibur
    Medusa's pegasus vaporized by Excalibur
    Diarmuid deliberately breaking Gae Buidhe
    Rho Aias j-j-jammed into by Gae Bolg
    UBW's copies and GoB's originals against each other
    fair enough
    Last edited by 4score7years; February 11th, 2017 at 07:15 PM.

  4. #4384
    アルテミット・ワン Ultimate One asterism42's Avatar
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    Apo spoiler
    Doesn't Achilles's shield get broken by Vasavi Shakti?


    - - - Updated - - -

    Also Frag vs Pegasus probably happened offscreen in HA.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sandstorm77 View Post
    He's just putting the bone of his sword into other people until it explodes and lets out parts of him inside them.
    Quote Originally Posted by AvengerEmiya View Post
    Genderswaps are terrible, but I think I and other people would hate them less if Fate didn't keep ignoring actual heroines throughout history and folklore. Like, why bother turning Francis Drake into a woman when Ching Shih and Grace O'Malley exist?
    Quote Originally Posted by Five_X View Post
    Fate Zero is just Fate Stay Night for people who think Shirou is too girly
    Quote Originally Posted by Comun View Post
    I think Alex IV can eat Goku.

  5. #4385
    Dead Apostle Eater Historia's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by zikari8 View Post
    Likes: Nothing
    He liked Yuenü.

  6. #4386
    Time to burn some dread Daneel Rush's Avatar
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    I - Alexandria
    II - Mausoleum

    III – Gehenna
    They burst into the chamber like big damn heroes; Mordred had the pleasure of making the large double doors explode inwards with her might of her Mana Burst. They had effortlessly made their way through the mausoleum, which had quickly shown it was vastly larger on the inside. It was obvious to all of them they had been led to that vast chamber. Outside the mausoleum, a farcical battle ensued between equally artificial ghosts and soldiers, all of them constructs using as their foundation men and beasts who were once laid to rest in a mausoleum.

    And for the first time since they set foot in the mausoleum, their steps came to a halt. The one they were looking for sat placidly on the other side of the rectangular chamber. The two-layered skirt of the form-fitting black dress spread like a beautiful and ominous lotus. Two black demons flanked her; their disproportionately small heads swaying in their vigilance.

    “Arsinoë. Servants of Chaldea. You seem nervous.”

    Nero and Mordred tightened the grip on their blades, the Knight of Treachery gritting her teeth and shooting a frustrated glare at the foot that refused to take a further step.

    Cleopatra’s pride kept her from squeaking when a hand fell on her shoulder.

    “It is physical interference. Do not let it confuse you.”

    Cleopatra extended her wordless gratitude to her dynastic ancestor. The masked woman released an exaggerated sigh.

    “My first Noble Phantasm, overcome so offhandedly.” Then, she shrugged. “Not that it was meant to work on Servants in the first place, but it is still somewhat bothersome.”

    “It is an unsightly stratagem,” said Nero as she looked around the rather empty and nondescript chamber. A gray box and nothing else. “And a poor choice of location for what should be a grand battle.”

    “Unlike your majesty, the emperor of Rome, I cannot afford the privilege of dabbling in aesthetics while fighting for my life.”

    “Then your life is sorely lacking in joy.”

    “The conclusion is correct, while the argument is better forgotten.”

    “More importantly!” Mordred nipped that conversation. “You’re taking us to Master, right now.”

    The masked woman presented the room around her with a gesture of her arms.

    “As you may have noticed, there are no exits other than the one you came from. There is no path to reach your Master from here. He will come once he is ready.”

    “Or we can just bust these walls and make ourselves a path!” Mordred emphasized her counter by raising her sword beside her head.

    “Are we not to trade a blow or two before you make such conclusions, Knight of Treachery?” retorted the masked one as she slowly, elegantly, got on her feet. “It would be the poorest of judgments to assume I will let you do as you wish in here.”

    “Feh! You really think you can take on five Servants? Those two chumps you summoned won’t even stop us.”

    “These two will fulfill their purpose. As for your question, allow me to return it to you: do you think the King of Magic will be overcome by five lackluster Servants like you?”

    She had not finished the sentence when Mordred dashed forward, closing in on Avenger and her demons in an instant. The masked queen made a lazy gesture and the horned knight was engulfed by a pyre of unholy black flame. There was an explosion, a scream, the sound of metal crashing on stone, and then Mordred was groaning on the floor some feet from her allies.

    “That…goddamned fire gives a bull’s arse about Magic Resistance!”

    “We can see that,” said Arsinoë as she took a step forward, pumping her fists together. “We’re going together, Cleopatra.”

    “It’s my honor, divine ancestor.”

    Cleopatra’s light magic was devoured by black flames. The demons swept forward, howling at the Servants as they unleashed a storm of claws and arcane bolts. Arsinoë met both demons head on, howling like her class’ namesake a second before Nero intercepted one of the false demigods. Mordred leapt over the demons while surrounded by Cleopatra’s covering fire, but Avenger’s reflexes were in a category of her own, intercepting each and every single one of Cleopatra’s ranged attacks while meeting Clarent with a wall of flames that felt almost solid to the knight of Camelot.

    Mata Hari watched the dizzying clash of powers from a distance. Leaving to look for the Master she longed for was not an option; she would just get lost in Artemisia’s Noble Phantasm. She merely watched, silent and still. Her time would eventually come. But this gave her time to worry about what she was witnessing. The masked Servant and her demons were keeping their four opponents at bay for now. However, while she seemed more than capable of matching Cleopatra and Mordred blow by blow, the demons would soon fall, and then the masked queen would be overwhelmed. It was too easy.

    Of course, because she just could not be wrong, that was when the immense summoning circle appeared on the distant ceiling, its arcane light showering the battlefield with inadequate gentleness.

    “The words I said to your Master, I now repeat for you. I will have you show me the conviction to defy the King of Demon Gods.”

    Massive appendages like tentacles studded with large red gems descended with sinuous movements.

    “Demon pillars!?”

    “No friggin’ way!”

    “Aren’t those kind of small for pillars…?”

    Arsinoë was the first and fastest to put some distance, retreating almost to Mata Hari’s position.

    “Those aren’t pillars…! Those are tails! Get out of the way!”

    Magical beams rained upon the chamber, assaulting indiscriminately and crushing the twin demons beneath its onslaught. Nero’s cries of pain were drowned by a tidal wave of orange hellfire that filled almost the entire stadium-sized chamber, all the while a gargantuan monstrosity descended to stand protectively in front of its summoner. Indeed, the pillar like appendages were its tails, attached to a vaguely humanoid body much smaller than any of them. Its mule-shaped head lacked eyes or any other features.

    “That thing…to think we would set eyes on that thing again. Utter disgrace!” Arsinoë uttered darkly, her voice and posture changing according to the “divine” cue.

    “Oh? So the Syrian War had that going on in the background as I thought,” idly commented the masked queen.

    “Dynastic ancestor! What is that thing?”

    This time Arsinoë could not criticize Cleopatra’s audible alarm.

    Demon God Adrammelech. It is not one of Solomon’s seventy-two, but it is in no way inferior to any of them.”

    Naturally, more than of her old opponent, Arsinoë was wary of the one who summoned it.

    “Cursed woman, who the hell are you?” She caught herself. “No, it’s obvious by now that you’re a Semitic queen. Assyria? Phoenicia? Aramea?”

    “I could be Chaldean, for all you know.”

    “You suck at jokes,” said Mordred, her sword held tightly as if the immense beast would leap at her any moment now.

    “Never had much in the way of practice, I must admit. But I would rather say: for a group of so-called heroes with the intent to challenge the 72 demons of the Goetia, you are all rather worried by a single demon god. In any case…”

    Black flames danced around her dark form.

    “…you will either overcome this simple obstacle, or do yourselves a favor and abandon that hopeless odyssey.”

    “We don’t even need a Master to deal with this chump,” taunted Mordred upon stepping forward to lead the charge against the fell creature.

    “Feel free to speak whatever you wish, Sir Mordred. I am well accustomed to being let down.”

    And the fight resumed with realm-shattering intensity.

    ***///******///******///******///******///******///******///***

    The next time he woke up, he was not quite himself.

    The uncomfortable chill had spread throughout his whole body, to the point it made him wonder if he had died and become a peculiarly self-aware zombie. He had definitely not commanded his body to get up, however. That was cause for alarm. On the plus side, his body did not ache after sleeping on the hard floor for who knows how many hours.

    Artemisia still slept, unabashedly claiming his body’s feeble warmth. However, he only had eyes for the angel watching him from a distance; a little thing carefully poking her head behind the doorframe. It only took their eyes meeting for the young girl to squeak and disappear behind the barrier of worked stone.

    “Uh, um, I, I did not mean to be rude!” Her voice, he thought, was like being dunked into a pool of velvet sheets. “I’m sorry!” she said nonetheless.

    “I take it you’re a Servant…?” It made no sense for the girl to be anything else.

    “Ah, um, yes.” She remained unseen, but her voice reached him easily. “I was summoned as Servant Rider…”

    “…um…are you…are you the one who will become my
    big brother
    Master
    ?”

    His heart thumped, and for a brief instant his mind conjured thoughts he knew he would normally never have about such a young child. They vanished just as quickly, and he was grateful for the reminder of the foremost maxim he always kept in his mind when facing new Servants.

    In one way or another, they are all extremely dangerous.

    “His Majesty Ptolemy said I would find a man here, and he would be my
    big brother
    Master
    .”

    Tempering his mind for the challenge that was being in the presence of this child, the Master of Chaldea smoothed his features and spoke calmly and welcomingly.

    “Uhh, well, I am a Master. I don’t think I summoned you, though.”

    Slowly, the little girl showed her face once more, albeit partially curtained by long, dark hair—he reflexively inched his body away from her visage. Holding the doorframe with her little fingers, she kept her face hung low and her voice hesitant.

    “N-no…I was, I mean, it seems I was summoned in response to His Majesty Ptolemy’s wish.”

    “By Ptolemy, you mean the Second, right? Arsinoë’s husband?” At the girl’s nod, he pressed on. “A Servant summoned you?”

    “Ah, no, he was…not really…a Servant…”

    The young man needed mere moments to figure it out.

    “Alright. But really, do we have to keep talking like this? I can barely look at you.”

    A part of him wondered whether he just wanted to get a better look at her. Even from a distance and partially cloaked in shadows, she was unfettered loveliness.

    “Uh-um…I…I feel that lady over there will do mean things to me if I go in. I’d rather not…I don’t like painful things…”

    She shuddered at the thought.

    He wanted to both commend her fine instincts, and also hug her and tell her everything would be alright.

    “So, Mister Ptolemy sent you to find me?”

    The girl nodded effusively, as if proud of her minuscule achievement.

    “He said I should meet Brother and together we should go fight the masked lady…” She looked down and made herself even smaller. “But, Anna is not a strong Servant, so I would rather…please don’t mind me…”

    He nodded. While somewhat discouraging, meeting a Servant that acknowledged her own weakness was also refreshing in a way. Servant she may be, but she was after all only a child. She was no Jack the Ripper, that’s for sure.

    “I’ll be grateful for your help, small as it may be.”

    “Ah…” Her fantastically big eyes glimmered, and her smile made his heart sing.

    “Tha-thank you…”

    Her body still concealed behind the wall, the little lady swayed her head side to side as if along with a song only she could hear.

    “Ehehe…I found a nice big brother…”

    Dangerous! This girl is way too dangerous in a number of ways!

    After clearing the weird thoughts a second time, the young Master turned his attention to the obstacle yet to be overcome. The chill had spread throughout his body like a layer of cold beneath his skin. It was no longer discomforting, just odd, like the sensation of having a full stomach spread through his entire body. However, the revelation of Ptolemy’s appearance had made things a lot clearer in his sharp mind, and gave him a strong idea of the significance of this chill.

    “Artemisia,” he called, and it astounded him how quickly she was on her knees in front of him, her expression lucid and her hair flawless like she had not just slept for hours.

    “Brother dearest,” she greeted him, and it was clear on her face and in her voice that he was the most precious thing in the universe.

    Avenger had given him most of the clues, and the little Anna had provided him with the last one.

    The Grail was being used to power Artemisia’s Noble Phantasm.

    The empowered Mausoleum had been used to create “a world for Heroic Spirits branded with the mark of incest.”

    Mausoleum can create ether constructs using as their basis the records of the souls of those laid to rest inside a mausoleum at any point in history.

    Ptolemy II Philadelphos had appeared in this world, but not as a Servant.

    If Ptolemy had been given shape by Artemisia’s Noble Phantasm, probably in response to Arsinoë’s unvoiced wish, what about Artemisia’s own brother-husband, Mausolus himself?

    He remembered the ghosts his Servants fought the day before. There laid his answer.

    “Yes, my dear.”

    Indeed, Mausolus was there.

    The chill invading his body flowed with his blood, guiding his actions and feeding words into his mind.

    The Carian queen gasped in delight when his hand fell on her fair hair to stroke it. She became a kitten beneath the touch of his fingers, leaning against his touch along the side of her face.

    “Artemisia, my Servants are fighting the Masked Queen.”

    “Yes.”

    “We should go there.” He gave her no chance to voice her disagreement. “She is not strong enough to overcome five Servants working together.”

    “It matters not, my love,” argued his queen. “Even if she falls, they will never reach us.”

    “She carries the Grail, my beloved.” That made her purse her lips in worry. “More importantly, are we so vile as to abandon the friend that brought us together once more?”

    With that, Artemisia looked at him with entirely new eyes. Her lips trembled, and he could swear he saw the beginning of tears in her eyes. He could not stop himself from wondering just what thoughts ran through her mind: what did she remember? What kind of memories did she and Avenger create in this artificial world?

    He then decided: if he ever partook of another delightful chat with the masked Avenger, he would ask her about it.

    “Let us go, my love,” he said as he stood up, extending his hand.

    “I will follow you to the end of the world and beyond, brother dearest.”

    When they stepped out of the cylindrical chamber, they met big eyes brimming with an amalgam of child-like admiration and painful disappointment. It was a mournful visage that struck the hearts of those who looked at it…except for those particular two, apparently.

    “Such a wonderful love…” Barely a whisper.

    Artemisia paid no heed to the compliment and stood protectively between the child and the Master.

    “Brother, who is this child?”

    “She is an ally, Artemisia. She will come with us.”

    “I do not like her,” she declared. “She reeks of the lusts of men.”

    No big surprise there, he thought. The child had taken a few steps back, her pose purely defensive, as if expecting to be struck any second now.

    “She was brought into this world by the Grail. She is just as welcome here as you and me. I will not ask you to like her, but she will come with us.”

    Artemisia glared for a few more seconds while Anna incessantly muttered things like “please don’t mind me”. When the Master moved forward, Artemisia clung to his left arm so as to state a very clear message.

    “Come,” the young male said, but the girl inched further back and shook her head.

    “Please don’t bother with me…I, I’m very weak, I won’t be of any help—”

    “Then we’ll look after you, but I’m not leaving you alone in here. Just come.”

    “…um.”

    A flower in each hand, it could be called. Artemisia possessed the fine skill to ignore the world beyond herself and her brother, so she paid absolutely no heed to the girl walking closely to the Master’s right. That is not to say she would not react the very moment the little girl tried to pull some weird move on her man, of course.

    “I want to make a Bond with Brother…”

    “Did you say something?”

    “Awawawawah!” Rather than the young man, Anna was looking at the unbelievable face looming over his shoulder. “Nothing! Anna said nothing!”

    The little girl was prudent and meek, but could not take the displeased look off her face. A pointlessly smug-looking Artemisia settled back by her beloved’s side.

    “So you’re name’s Anna, right?”

    “Yes, sir.” The girl nodded firmly, like a good girl who has been taught to address her elders clearly. “I believe you have been looking after my aunt for some time. Thank you very much.”

    Something; some unfathomable part of him, screamed at rest of him that this was a conversation he did not want to have right now. It could be called “a Master’s intuition”.

    So, he changed the topic.

    “By the way, I take it neither of you know Avenger’s true identity.”

    Anna only shook her head.

    “I only learned her class now that you mentioned it, darling. I take it you had a pleasant conversation last night?”

    The Master caught the hint implicit in the subtle tightening of Artemisia’s grip.

    “She spoke at length with the Master of Chaldea, just like she intended. It was quite pleasant; we should do it again some other time, together.”

    He made a strange face at the uncharacteristic choice words he was burdened with. He did not feel outright possessed, and the aid was appreciated, but he looked forward to being fully himself once more.

    “Hmm. Well, yeah, she’s an Avenger. According to the rule of this world, she must have incest in her legend somehow, right?” He continued after Artemisia’s confirmation. “And she’s probably related to Solomon, so…”

    Both Artemisia and Anna stopped to look at him, their eyes identical portrayals of shock and alarm.

    “…so I take you figured out what I haven’t.” He never claimed to be a history buff.

    What followed was a stream of sentence fragments as the two Servants traded incomplete thoughts and clarified the shared image in their minds.

    “There are not many women connected to Solomon’s legend…”

    “…thousand children aside…”

    “…it can only be that one—”

    “But that doesn’t explain…”

    “It might! If she’s also…”

    “Is that even possible? Then, the mask…”

    “It’s probably her body…”

    Artemisia didn’t even react when Anna mirrored her actions and the two women each grabbed one of the Master’s hands.

    “We have to hurry!” urged the little girl, and the Queen of Caria agreed.

    “The odds in that battle are a lot closer that we thought, my love.”

    ***///******///******///******///******///******///******///***

    “Alright, this is kinda tough,” admitted Mordred, to which a confident-looking Cleopatra grudgingly nodded.

    “But we’re winning!”

    Nero’s merriment was visible even as she slashed apart a barrage of arcane missiles.

    “This is the glorious battle Heroic Spirits live for, brave Mordred! Onwards—uwaah!”

    “Keep laughing like that and you’ll just get killed, Father-looking idiot!”

    The two Sabers danced amidst a storm of magical beams and a barrage of black flame bullets. Avenger was skilled at keeping Adrammelech between herself and the enemy Servants, but Arsinoë had slipped through and engaged her in close-combat. The black-robed Servant weaved around Arsinoë’s fists all the while trying to smother her in streams of flame.

    “I’ll break that mask and we’ll see what you’re hiding.”

    It was obvious Avenger possessed zero melee combat ability. It was sheer reflexes that kept her away from Arsinoë’s blows. That and an unceasing assault with black flames from every direction.

    “Taking off this mask is the worst thing you could do, esteemed pharaoh.”

    “Spare me the bullcrap and just tell me who you are!”

    “You should try asking the young Master when he arrives. I am sure that by this point he already knows.”

    Avenger glanced at the rampaging demon god. It had proved a mighty obstacle, but it would soon fall. Mordred was simply too strong and too fast; her body enhanced to the limit with prana slashed away the arcane bolts she could not dodge, and what few blows she landed were mighty and decisive. The Nero clad in white danced across the field of fire, her unnatural acrobatics making up for the limitations of her clearly inferior swordsmanship. Apparently nothing could harm her, so she had free rein to inflict the death of a thousand blows upon the demon god. Cleopatra had fared worse, having taken a direct blow from a potent magical blast that left her winded for the good part of a minute. That led to Arsinoë almost losing it, and she would have single-handedly torn the demon apart in her madness had Avenger not blasted her to lucidity with her black flame.

    “On the other hand,” she continued upon reaching a decision. “If you are in such a hurry, I might as well just show you my second Noble Phantasm.”

    A single moment of surprise was enough for Avenger to blast the queen of Egypt away and to the opposite side of the chamber, where the other Servants had readied themselves for the last assault on the demon god.

    “You…” hissed Arsinoë. “Adrammelech is not your Noble Phantasm!?”

    “Of course not,” retorted Avenger all the while more and more flames swirled around her black-clad form. “Summoning demons is just something I can do. A demon god was made possible by the Grail.”

    “Well that sucks,” Arsinoë commented in a growling tone. “So, who’s up to firing back?”

    “You kiddin’ me? I’ve been holding it in since forever; lemme at’er!”

    Clarent crackled with energy being gathered and amplified, emitting a ruinous light.

    “I as well. Watch carefully, revered ancestor.”

    Mordred and Cleopatra stepped forward, both pulsating with energy as they readied their mightiest attacks. Radiant gold and wicked crimson seemed to clash; they were allies by circumstance, but their powers could not be more different.

    “The pyre burns day and night, fueled by the flesh of children and the blood of sinners. The desperate and the wicked seek hope and absolution in the embrace of a false god. But no prayer will be answered! For the worthless, the only salvation is death!”

    After one last clash of blade and claws, Nero pulled back and shot a twisted smirk in Adrammelech’s direction.

    “Tch! It won’t let me interrupt her.”

    Avenger disappeared within a pillar of black flame. The five Servants winced at being smothered with unbearable heat. The cries of infants and the screams of countless men and women echoed out of the flames, their twisted harmony a curse upon themselves and upon the world that brought them to such ruin.

    “It’s coming!” cried out Arsinoë. “Tear her apart!”

    Clarent
    Rebellion…


    Uraeus
    O, serpent who finishes the time of daybreak…


    Tophet
    Fools all of you…


    A blade was swung. A serpent unfurled. A column of flames poured down.

    Blood Arthur
    …against my beautiful father
    !”

    Astrape
    …come to me
    !”

    Gehenna
    …become holocausts for the perpetual flame
    !”

    Three powers surpassing natural disasters clashed and vied for supremacy. Their cataclysmic power rocked the foundations of the mausoleum and engulfed the vast chamber with many-colored light. The maelstrom devoured the demon god, Adrammelech, and obliterated it from every direction. While Cleopatra grunted at the sustained effort, Mordred howled like a mad dog, pushing her body into pumping more energy into the blade. As for Avenger…

    “Fools. Tophet Gehenna becomes stronger the greater resistance it meets! Burn, all of you! Your bodies will fuel the flame of Malkam!”

    “Guh! I…sorry…! I…can’t…!”

    “Damn iiiiiiiiit!”

    Cleopatra and Mordred were overpowered, and the flames washed over them entire room like a black tsunami, dragging the much suffering Servants until their backs met the far walls of the rectangular colosseum.

    “Cleopatra!”

    “I still live, revered ancestor,” replied the last pharaoh, already using healing magic even while slumped down on the cold floor. “I…still can…”

    Unlike Cleopatra, Mordred and Nero were already back on their feet, clearly enduring much pain but still in the fight. Arsinoë did not allow herself to be outdone by the Sabers, especially not now that she had the unsettling answer.

    “Damn you, woman…you said ‘Malkam’.”

    “Hmm. I guess I did.” Flames were already swirling around Avenger’s concealed body.

    “But that doesn’t make sense! There’s no legend or tale that mentions you having this kind of power!”

    “That is because you still believe you are facing a single mortal. I am not a single mortal.”

    Arsinoë felt strength depart her knees; she had to make conscious effort to keep standing.

    “Is that…is that even possible…?”

    “Revered ancestor! Who is that woman!?”

    Arsinoë instead met Nero’s eyes. The Roman emperor seemed to have made some sense of hers and Avenger’s words; from the look in her eyes, she was a mere step from the answer as well.

    “Malkam is the god revered by the children of Ammon.”

    Nero’s head could not turn faster, directing a look of awe, respect, and utter trepidation towards their enemy.

    “The King of Magic’s Queen…” she finally realized. “The mother of his successor…the ancestress of the Son of God…!”

    “I am the embodiment of a grudge!” She spread her arms, and two columns of flame rose behind her. “The manifestation of scorn towards the worthless humans who placed all their burdens and sins on the shoulders of a weak and lonely king!”

    “I am not merely the Ammonite, nor the King of Magic’s Queen and most beloved.”

    The columns of flame spread to the sides, like gigantic wings sprouting from her back.

    “I am the Princess of Demons; the temptation of the Original Man; the despoiler of the Ark.”

    The firestorm grew around her and its ominous implication became clear in their minds: with the power of the Grail, she could unleash Tophet Gehenna as many times as she pleased.

    “Yeah, we’re kind of in trouble,” admitted Arsinoë.

    “…umu.”

    The flames screamed; the cries of agony of countless human sacrifices. Their nostrils were filled with the unmistakable stench of burning flesh and boiling fat.

    “I am a composite existence; an amalgam of demonic, human and divine; a union of homonymous great souls.”

    It was like all other colors had disappeared except for the coalescence of white, black and grays that made Avenger’s great firestorm. The world around them had become something that could be reproduced with merely a pencil. Indeed, it was clear they faced something that far transcended humanity.

    “…so basically, another day for the Servants of Chaldea?”

    The others stared at the joking Cleopatra with some measure of awe. Mordred snorted. Their souls were relieved of some of their burden, and they found it in themselves to face the storm taking form in front of them, no matter how overwhelming it may seem.

    Their opponent was a demon of demons; a queen of queens.

    “I am High Servant Naamah, and I am your judgment.”

    ***///******///******///******///******///******///******///***

    To be concluded in Part IV – Salomon
    Base Stats & Skills
    Anna Báthory (Lily)

    Faceclaim

    Source: Modified from カントク カレンダー2016
    Class: Rider
    Alignment: Lawful Evil
    Gender: Female
    Source: Historical
    Region: Eastern Europe

    Height & Weight: 145 cm, 43 kg
    Likes: Auntie Liz, Brother, Things that make her feel good
    Dislikes: Not getting her way
    Talents: Charming others
    Natural Enemy: Artemisia II of Caria
    Attribute: Man

    STR E
    END E
    AGI E
    MGI C
    LUK A
    Noble Phantasm C

    • While she’s probably better suited for the Caster class, she is not that powerful or famous a witch, so she has been allowed into the Rider class based on a technicality.
    • Her main weapon is a staff she wields like a spear—the family weapon by excellence.


    Class Skills
    Magic Resistance – A
    Grants protection against magical effects. Differing from the r effect that merely rejects magical energy, this ability cancels the spells altogether. At this rank, spells of rank A or below are nullified, no matter what degree of High Thaumaturgy it is. In practice, the Servant is untouchable to modern magi.

    Possessing the draconic factor of the Báthory blood, Anna is blessed with a very high rank in this Skill.


    Riding – A
    The ability to ride mounts and vehicles. At this rank, all vehicles and all creatures but those of Phantasmal Beast and Divine Beast-rank can be used as mounts.

    On a completely unrelated note, Queen Medb said the following about Anna: “that girl’s mind works in a completely unique and disturbing way. Can it really be called ‘pleasure’ if it’s driven by such a bland principle? Lovely as she is, I find her more pitiful than anything else.”


    Personal Skills
    Innocent Monster – C
    An attribute possessed by Servants whose true history and existence have been distorted by the monstrous reputations and gossips they accrued across the course of their life and thereafter, without concern for the actual person's will or appearance. As a consequence, the Servant's abilities and appearance have been rendered to conform to the specifications of their legend. Incidentally, this Personal Skill cannot be removed.

    Anna’s foundation as a Servant. It has granted her the Witchcraft skill and some degree of vampiric (draconic?) nature; the blood of Báthory tainted by her legend. Perhaps more importantly, it has transformed her virginal loveliness into supernatural beauty. Rather than a mere “monster”, she is more of an “innocent succubus”.


    Intimacy of Blood Bond – C
    Originally called Condemned Brand of Incest.
    The natural inversion of Exalted Sibling Love, possessed by those who were branded with the sin of incest, which defined their legend in a negative way. Like its positive counterpart, it manifests in different ways to different Servants.

    Anna has named her version of the Skill, Intimacy of Blood Bond: the practice of bloodsucking and vampirical conversion as a motif of incest. A vampire creates another vampire by coercing a human to drink of its tainted blood. She thus expresses mythic incest as the supernatural union of two beings connected by blood, whereby they partake of special, unearthly powers. But really, she's just making up the whole "vampire" thing, so the rank is not very high.

    By means of establishing a bond with another through the intimate exchange of body fluids, Anna can share some of her superhuman physical characteristics with her bonded companion. Furthermore, all supernatural boons Anna receives will also be shared with her bonded, but the same also applies to all banes and curses. Naturally, it is most effective when used on one who does not possess supernatural physical prowess, and Anna basically expects her Master to create a bond with her. Her pragmatism cares not for your modern-day morality.


    Smiling Angel – A+
    The bewitching smile of a child endowed with the greatest beauty. It carries the meaning “a smiling angel is a natural devil.” At this disturbingly high rank, her very presence—no, her very existence becomes “a loveliness that must be protected”, then “my purpose in life is to watch over her”, and eventually “she is the missing part of me; I must become one with her”. Rather than a Charm effect, it’s closer to a curse. Especially effective on males without a stable partner, and success rate rises dramatically against virgins.

    Any effects that protect against Charms and Curses protect against this Skill to a degree. So does possessing a somewhat unique mindset (Mad Enhancement, Mental Disorder, being the Last Master of Chaldea). Magic Resistance at rank A or higher can achieve maximum suppression. However, this Skill can never be completely nullified; there is an inescapable baseline no amount of resistance or immunity can protect against. In other words, there is not a human born in this world that will not find her at least somewhat cute.


    Witchcraft – C
    A Skill that signifies one as a practitioner of Witchcraft. This magecraft has roots in both the eastern and western worlds.

    In Anna’s case, she wields classical Western witchcraft focused on inflicting banes that despoil the blood, the mind and the heart. At her young age, her knowledge and skills are rather orthodox and utterly unremarkable. On the other hand, becoming a fully-fledged witch before reaching adulthood would normally speak of a degree of natural talent seen only once in a century. If only she remembered actually studying the thing…
    Legend & Character
    Legend
    Anna Báthory was one of the many colorful characters in the much-romanticized golden age of Transylvania. Certainly, a young, lewd seductress who happened to be a witch made for a more interesting and less shameful story than an insane mass-murderer. She was born in 1594 to the Somlyóis, the senior branch of a Báthory family already in decline. Her elder brother was Gabriel (Gábor), later Prince of Transylvania and pretty much the last male Báthory of any relevance. After the death of her parents, from 1601 to 1605, she lived at the court of Stephen Báthory, Elizabeth’s elder brother, where she was very, very pampered. Even at that young age she was already known for her “big eyes and beautiful black hair”, like some sort of Hungarian Helen. Childless Stephen made Gabriel his heir, and the libidinous big brother (a man who probably deserves a Servant sheet far more than this hopeless girl) took care of his little sister until 1608, when she was wed to Dionysus (Dénes) Bánffy; a political, loveless marriage that Anna refused to consummate.

    Anna became a widow four years later. After the required year of mourning, Anna married again; this time, it seemed, out of love. Her second husband was a noble her age, Sigmund Jósika. She might have loved him, but his constant switching of allegiances in the dangerous political landscape of early 17th-century Transylvania would be a source of many troubles to Anna in the future. And indeed, the man soon fled because of some factional conflict, leaving Anna in a situation not unlike a young widow. A very young, very wealthy widow. Her years as lone ruler were filled with rumors of her many dalliances; then again, at that time every woman with a strong, independent streak was for some reason also assumed to be some sort of insatiable nymphomaniac.

    Anna’s elder brother was murdered on 1613, and the new Prince of Transylvania, Gabriel Bethlen, needed both money and the means to build up some reputation to legitimize his position. A lone widow with a reputation as a shameless femme fatale was the perfect target. Furthermore, Anna’s remaining little brother, Andrew, was Bethlen’s strongest contender for Ottoman support for the Transylvanian throne.

    The witch craze was just about getting started in Eastern Europe, although it never grew to the extent it did in the west, mostly because witches had a somewhat better reputation in Eastern European folklore. Unlike western witch hunts that usually went after social outcasts, witch hunts in Eastern Europe targeted wealthy, politically powerful women, and were often used as ploys to usurp a woman’s power. In Anna’s case, it worked wonders. Between the years of 1615 and 1621, over the course of three separate trials, Anna Báthory was systematically and comprehensively ruined and vilified at the hands of a prince who entered the annals of Hungary’s history as a wise and just ruler. Throughout these trials, Anna was accused of the following crimes:

    • Witchcraft, consorting with other witches, and more importantly, vampirism.
    • Adultery and bigamy, having taken her estate manager, János Krajnik, as her second husband, and giving birth to his child.
    • Fornication before marriage, with a local silversmith while at her uncle’s court in Ecsed. It must be noted that Anna would have been around nine years old when this happened.
    • Innumerable acts of incest with her brother Gabriel, also while at Ecsed. Again, nine years old.
    • Engaging in a lesbian relationship with her aunt Elizabeth, also while at the Ecsed court.
    • In her second trial, she was accused of murdering her son—her very alive son, living comfortably in Hungary at the time.
    • Blood libel—sacrificing her child’s blood for dark magic practices.
    • Bewitching Prince Gabriel Bethlen and showing evil visions to his counsellors.
    • Attempted murder of the Prince’s wife—Bethlen forced Anna to use her witchcraft to cure his ailing wife. When she failed, he came up with this last charge.


    At the age of 27, Anna was left with nothing and forced to flee to Poland. She tried to reclaim her unjustly taken lands some thirteen years later, but the new owners simply used the same old charges to discredit her and forced her to leave Transylvania, this time for good.

    History does not even know when or where she died. Nothing is known of her after the year 1640, the year of her fourth and last witch trial, in which she showed herself an ageing and ailing woman, suffering of swollen legs and hemorrhages from the womb. It can only be assumed she died soon after that, in misery and obscurity somewhere in Poland or Hungary.


    Character
    “Will you be my big brother?”

    A young girl who embodies the words “innocent monster”.

    It no longer matters whether she did or did not do the things she was accused of. The legend was built on infamy, and therefore the Heroic Spirit, Anna Báthory is the one who did all those things. While the adult Anna Báthory would be the adulterous witch, vampire and murderer wracked by the depredations of the Transylvanian nobles after her power and fortune, the young lily “only” carries the burden of the first round of accusations; a young siren on the road to perdition, dragging everybody else along with her. Both carry the brand of a witch, but there is an obvious difference in experience. The adult Anna is a fully-fledged vampire that enhances her malevolence with witchcraft, while the young one is an orthodox witch with some traits of a bloodsucker (or rather a succubus?); Elizabeth’s student and lover, according to the most absurd rumors.

    She is a child, cursed with talent and diaphanous beauty. Lovely beyond compare, the last pure jewel of the Báthory bloodline, inevitably tainted like all before her. She might have learned the pleasures of the flesh at a young age, and indulged in them freely and recklessly. She might have been showered with unhealthy levels of affection, and therefore expects to be pampered and loved wherever she goes. She might have been loved by her brother and uncle, but she does not understand love herself. The things she might have done with them were merely the enjoyment nobles are entitled to. Same goes with the things she might have done with the local silversmith and the stable boy; as commoners, they were merely tools for her physical enjoyment, no different from masturbation. However, while the adult Anna is a powerful, independent woman, this young Anna is still a demure, obedient and perhaps somewhat shy little lady; a flower of the court. Then again, it’s hard to tell how much is her real personality and how much is the performance expected of her as a young noble lady. She is an adorable monster of rationality, capable of accommodating every single of her words and actions to the simple maxim of “noble entitlement.” She categorizes herself not as good or evil, only as a noble, with all the privileges nobles hold.

    She is a very weak Servant, and she is aware of it, so don’t expect much from her, unless your objective was to summon a little sister/daughter character to pamper, then you struck gold. If summoned in a “standard” Grail War, she will just allow herself to be pampered by her inevitably-enraptured Master until she is killed. Master of Chaldea, you have it somewhat easier: most Servants can resist her supernatural charm, so in some way or another she will be tempered down. However, she is still a child, and she will seek affection, attention and instruction, if only because she believes that is what she has to do. Really, she is far more trouble than she is worth, and she could easily become the harbinger of your death (socially), so you’d be better off not summoning her in the first place.

    But she’s so adorable! Top daughteru, must spend quartz.
    Noble Phantasm
    Lehetetlen Szívügy
    Paradox of Impossible Escapades

    Rank: C
    Type: Anti-Unit
    Range: 1
    Maximum Targets: 2 people (self included)

    It is hard to conciliate the image of the pious, overly doting Stephen Báthory allowing the prepubescent Anna enough freedom to dabble with the commoners and engage in sexual relationships with them. This Noble Phantasm is the outrageously powerful reconceptualization of that contradiction into a flawless power that allows her to escape from trouble. The only condition for its use is that she must have established at least one bond through her Intimacy of Blood Bond Skill.

    This technique can be used in two ways. In its first form, Anna takes hold of one of her bonded partners and teleports away with him to a private location. Anna must have visited the chosen location beforehand and ensured its privacy, but aside of that simple condition, they can travel anywhere they can be alone. Impressive as it is, though, teleportation hardly deserves to be called a C-rank Noble Phantasm. It is in its second means of use where this technique truly shines.

    In response to an instance in which Anna suffers any form of harm, she can reflexively invoke the true form of her Noble Phantasm, sequestering herself to the current location of any one of her bonded. Furthermore, she retroactively rewrites history so as to establish the fact that “I was dallying with my bonded partner all this time”. She was enjoying herself all this time, so she was not involved in whatever situation that brought her harm, so she did not suffer any harm in the first place. It’s automatic evasion of anything and everything, but the substantial cost in magical energy limits its use to once per day (with an average magus as Master). Amusingly enough, if any other Báthory is summoned, this technique can be used in the opposite manner, teleporting herself away from one of her bonded to the location of her fellow Báthory—“there’s no way I was having an affair; I’ve been with my darling family all this time.” Curiously, this form of the technique does not demand much from Anna, so it can be used a lot more often.
    Keywords (Craft Essences?)

    Auntie’s Present
    Tasnád is a little village in present-day Romania.
    At the time, there was nothing particularly special about it.
    It was neither particularly prosperous nor fertile.
    It was not really particularly pretty to look at, either.
    It was just another of many quaint little villages,
    But to young Anna, it was irreplaceable, solely because it was hers.

    It was her part of Uncle Stephen’s inheritance.
    It should have gone to his sister, but Elizabeth gave it away to her lovely niece.
    At the age of 11, she was lady of her own lands, and owned a palace of her own.
    There, she was respected and loved as a true lady ruler.
    It was there, more than anywhere else, that she found worth in her existence.
    More than the dresses, more than the jewels and the gold,
    That humble little village was that girl’s most precious and most beloved treasure.


    Auntie’s Second Present
    A big leather-bound tome; penned by Elizabeth Báthory.
    Its pages describe the many uses of herbs and the elaboration of elixirs.
    The original songs written in it are a code that conceals the secrets of witchcraft,
    But Anna and the children of Tasnád would grow to appreciate Elizabeth’s lullabies.

    Anna Báthory was a pampered child, the darling angel of Ecsed,
    Adored by Uncle Stephen and his sister, Auntie Liz.
    Under their guidance, she was made into the perfect young noble lady.
    But every time Anna sets her eyes on that leather-bound book, she wonders.

    “When did I receive this book?
    When did I first meet Auntie Elizabeth?”



    The Wolves of Ecsed
    One day, their eccentric, childless lord brought an angel.
    Her big and wary eyes brought the women to their knees in motherly joy.
    Her curt, demure smile warmed the hearts of all the men.
    The grass was greener where her dainty steps left their mark.
    The sun was brighter; she was their delight, their pride, their beacon of joy.

    Their thoughts were filled with her, more strongly with each passing day.
    They dreamt of her hair like a curtain of black silk, and they longed to fill their nostrils with her sweet aroma.
    They imagined her eyes, gleaming with joy she never showed, as the proper lady she was.
    They fantasized about the immaculate fairness of her skin; picturing their eager hands enjoying the developing womanhood tightly concealed beneath her dress.
    The shadows grew longer; she was their obsession, their treasure, their adoration.

    And then, one night, she appeared, alone, before them.
    “Um…Uncle and Brother are absent…and, um, my fingers no longer suffice, so…um, I can…it is only proper…I mean, would you…be so kind as…t-to work hard…for my sake?”
    They were starving wolves, but she was no hapless Red Hood.
    So, who did the devouring that night?


    Temptation of Witch (?) and Dragon (!?)
    “A spa! It’s a spa! Why do you even have a spa!?”
    “Ah, um, my Tasnád is known in modern times for its thermal waters, so somehow it’s become something like a Noble Phantasm…?”
    “There’s a huge gap in that explanation! More like, it’s a spa! My Csejte Castle suddenly feels really lacking!”
    “Um, Auntie, your castle, well, doesn’t it serve a very specific purpose…?”
    “Be quiet! I’ll lock you inside!”
    “Uwaah, uwaah! I-I’ll be good, Auntie, I swear! So, p-please don’t…hurt me…sniff…”
    “Aaaaaah, crying’s unfair! And don’t shrink yourself like you’re a harmless little flower! Look, I’ll give you a hug, so calm down and then give me the tour.”
    “…un.”

    “…so, it’s a spa. It’s good that we don’t need to rely on that AUO anymore, but you didn’t show me this just to make my Noble Phantasm look bad.”
    “Um. I was…just thinking…of inviting Brother…to have fun together…”
    “Why do those words give me the chills…wait, by ‘Brother’, you mean the Puppy!?”
    “Um.”
    “With you!? In here!?”
    “Um.”
    “No way! Tha-tha—that’s no good! Anybody can see where that’s going!”
    “But Brother has been really nice to me…”
    “Well of course he has, that lolicon mutt…he doesn’t even…
    *mutter-mutter*…me like that…”
    “…I want to become closer to Brother…”
    “Your definition of closeness is too dangerous!”
    “…and I thought it proper to show my gratitude for accepting the Blood Bond…”
    “He did WHAAAA!?”
    “The Blood Bond.”
    “I heard it the first time! Damn it, I don’t know whether he’s brave or just a common pervert!”
    “Would you honor us with your company, Auntie?”
    “ME TOO!? Tha-tha—that’s too lewd! TOO LEWD! Uwaaaaaahhh!”
    “Auntie, you’re too loud…”

    “…so…how was it…?”
    “How was what, Auntie…?”
    “…Blood-Bonding…”
    “…”
    “…”
    “…Auntie, you’re too shameless.”
    “You gods-damned loli bitch!”
    Last edited by Daneel Rush; August 27th, 2017 at 01:49 PM.

  7. #4387
    後継者 Successor zikari8's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gally View Post
    He liked Yuenü.
    I stand mistaken. It seems my knowledge of the Kingdom of Yue was lacking.

  8. #4388
    lordofvenom venomking's Avatar
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    Class:savior/avenger.
    True name: Jesus.
    Strength:c
    mana:EX
    endurance:A++
    agility:E
    luck:A
    courage:A
    charisma:A+
    Phantasm: A, B, B+,EX.

    personality: his personality in his savior form, is that of a wise and caring person who would gladly put suffer or put down his own life for the good of humanity. His personality changes when he changes into his avenger status were he takes on the persona as the dark messiah his personality becomes far more pessimistic and condescending simpering to archers, Also he far more willing to kill and is even sadistic in his own way,the only thing he has in common with his savior self is that he will litterly judge every one his masters action, but unlike his savior self if you commit what he deems to be a sin, he will break your bones if your lucky.

    Phanasms: savior.

    sacrifice to forgive all sin. B+
    thsi abilty takes the single moment he sacrificed himself for humanity its effect makes it so a servant cannot attack at all, and those who have darkness in there hearts will run in fear, although he must give up a considerable amount of blood to use this phantasm thus it is only b+ class.

    Resurrection: A
    he can bring back the dead of anyone he choose for about 7 days, however he can only resurrect one person and they are not guaranteed to fight for savior, and in all honesty savior will likely never ever use this phantasm in battle.

    Connection on to the root: EX
    he I somehow able to connect to the root, although it is unknown why, thus allows to draw on infinit amounts of mana and even utilize regeneration of c class.

    Dark messiah: EX
    thsi is highest form of transformation based phantasm and let's him take on his dark messiah self and changes his class to avenger, all his stats are ranked to A class or higher however mana is also brought down to B class and his luck is ranked down to E-.

    Phantasms/ avenger.

    The seals of the revelations , rank EX, anti life.
    When activated by avenger it brings for the image of true destruction, and forces his enemies into a reality marvel, in which avenger is able to attack them using all the events that will dispel humanity. It is near impossible for a servent to even survive five min although there are a few that could survive.

    Curse to the unholy, B rank, anti personal.
    This is a curse that pierces the heart of servant who is evil or are anti heroes, but does not work on true hoes such as Hercules or King author.

    The hand of God, EX, anti world.
    It is phantasm on the same level of EA, and it almost completely unstoppable, it erase the existence of anything he touches and can even erase the existence of the, it utilize teh half the power of God given to him to him do to him being the son of God.

    - - - Updated - - -

    I hope I didn't make him to op, please point any flaws, and grammar mistakes i likely made. I am afraid I made him to powerful thou but I really have no idea how to make him any weaker and keep my basic idea going thou so please forgive me on that note anything else is inexcusable and will be changed when I have the time to do so.

  9. #4389
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Well, for one thing, let me say this is miles better then most of your previous Servants in terms of grammar, spelling and overall coherency.

    I don't think there's a problem with Jesus being a little OP, given how ridiculously famous and influential a figure he is across the western world. To comment, I'll go my usual route of quoting your post and highlighting my own remarks in blue.

    Quote Originally Posted by venomking View Post
    Class:savior/avenger.
    True name: Jesus.
    Strength:c
    mana:EX
    endurance:A++
    agility:E
    luck:A
    courage:A
    charisma:A+
    For how much you're wanking him, I'm really surprised you only gave him two Skills. And really generic ones at that. Also, for 'Courage' I presume you meant Bravery, and it's best to use the existing translation to prevent misunderstandings. And while enduring torture for all mankind is certainly a brave act, I can't help but feel Soul Of A Martyr would be more fitting here.
    Phantasm: A, B, B+,EX.
    Listing all the Servant's NP rankings in this section is frankly inane. Either average it out in some way or just go with the most powerful one.

    personality: his personality in his savior form, is that of a wise and caring person who would gladly put suffer or put down his own life for the good of humanity. His personality changes when he changes into his avenger status were he takes on the persona as the dark messiah his personality becomes far more pessimistic and condescending simpering to archers, Also he far more willing to kill and is even sadistic in his own way,the only thing he has in common with his savior self is that he will litterly judge every one his masters action, but unlike his savior self if you commit what he deems to be a sin, he will break your bones if your lucky.

    Phanasms: savior.

    sacrifice to forgive all sin. B+
    thsi abilty takes the single moment he sacrificed himself for humanity its effect makes it so a servant cannot attack at all, and those who have darkness in there hearts will run in fear, although he must give up a considerable amount of blood to use this phantasm thus it is only b+ class.

    Resurrection: A
    he can bring back the dead of anyone he choose for about 7 days, however he can only resurrect one person and they are not guaranteed to fight for savior, and in all honesty savior will likely never ever use this phantasm in battle.

    Connection on to the root: EX
    he I somehow able to connect to the root, although it is unknown why, thus allows to draw on infinit amounts of mana and even utilize regeneration of c class.
    I don't think this is really necessary, especially since you didn't give any flavoring or lore justification. If he does have it, it should really be a Skill and not an NP, IMO.
    Dark messiah: EX
    thsi is highest form of transformation based phantasm and let's him take on his dark messiah self and changes his class to avenger, all his stats are ranked to A class or higher however mana is also brought down to B class and his luck is ranked down to E-.
    This is actually a pretty cool idea, though a little blasphemous. Saying this as somebody who half-contemplated doing a hardcore Old Testament style Jesus Alter sheet in the past...
    Phantasms/ avenger.

    The seals of the revelations , rank EX, anti life.
    When activated by avenger it brings for the image of true destruction, and forces his enemies into a reality marvel, in which avenger is able to attack them using all the events that will dispel humanity. It is near impossible for a servent to even survive five min although there are a few that could survive.

    Curse to the unholy, B rank, anti personal.
    This is a curse that pierces the heart of servant who is evil or are anti heroes, but does not work on true hoes such as Hercules or King author.

    The hand of God, EX, anti world.
    It is phantasm on the same level of EA, and it almost completely unstoppable, it erase the existence of anything he touches and can even erase the existence of the, it utilize teh half the power of God given to him to him do to him being the son of God.
    Both of these are pretty generic, and this is just about a rip-off of Ea. Wouldn't an NP based off the 'Sword of the Word' he pulled from his mouth in the Book Of Revelation be more fitting?
    - - - Updated - - -

    I hope I didn't make him to op, please point any flaws, and grammar mistakes i likely made. I am afraid I made him to powerful thou but I really have no idea how to make him any weaker and keep my basic idea going thou so please forgive me on that note anything else is inexcusable and will be changed when I have the time to do so.

  10. #4390
    So Many Ideas, So Little Time SleepMode's Avatar
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    Due to my Servant posts being akin to walls of text, how do you hide them under brackets to conserve space?

  11. #4391
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zh1212 View Post
    Due to my Servant posts being akin to walls of text, how do you hide them under brackets to conserve space?
    Just tag (spoiler) on one end and (/spoiler) on the other, except replace the rounded brackets I used with these [] ones (writing it out that way so you could see how I did it).

  12. #4392
    It's All Good! 4score7years's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by venomking View Post
    true hoes such as Hercules or King author.
    .

  13. #4393
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 4score7years View Post
    .
    Resisting urge to make an "experienced prostitute" joke...

    - - - Updated - - -

    Still though, if you think that one is bad you should've seen the guy's earlier stuff. This is at least (mostly) comprehensible, a few particularly silly errors aside. Definitely getting better.

  14. #4394
    It's All Good! 4score7years's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RoydGolden View Post
    Resisting urge to make an "experienced prostitute" joke...

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    Still though, if you think that one is bad you should've seen the guy's earlier stuff. This is at least (mostly) comprehensible, a few particularly silly errors aside. Definitely getting better.
    I was there for the first one, remember?

  15. #4395
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 4score7years View Post
    I was there for the first one, remember?
    Oh yeah, I forgot. Sorry.

  16. #4396
    lordofvenom venomking's Avatar
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    Hmm, thx, I knew he was a little generic, but I think I can get away with some slight boringness, and the reason I didn't use the sword of word is cause I couldn't think of a single way to implement as a phantasm, I wanted an anti life or anti world dark messiah type deal.

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    Anyways I'll fix it up but I want to get Arachne done first i think you'll what I'm planning with her. I've been planning her for at least two months I believe.

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    Anyways I'll fix it up but I want to get Arachne done first i think you'll what I'm planning with her. I've been planning her for at least two months I believe.

  17. #4397
    lordofvenom venomking's Avatar
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    Class:castor/berserker(this is not overstepping any unspoken rule is it?)
    true name:Arachne
    strength: b
    Mana:a
    Luck:E---
    endurance:A
    Madness:A
    bravery:b

    history:most do what is known about her comes from her myth, however that is not what is most interesting about, after she was cursed by Athena she took on a monster like form and chose in an attempt to reconcile with the Greek gods to be a hero in secret, however eventually she came to terms with this new self and even turned down many offers from Athena to have her curse lifted stating that she could never save anyone in her old form. She eventually at some point in time traveled to Arabian lands in attempt to destroy a group she heard rumors about, and killed two members of teh Hassan I abba group and was ferociously and viciously pursued by a certain ZELOT of the group, although thsi I meet was never recorded history, likely thsi was done by the zealot herself.

    personality: she is a pessimistic women who has little optimism and only believes in saving as much as she can and is in no way unwilling to make sacrifice, she is also sort of insane.

    Phantasm.

    Painting that hat rivals the gods, c class.
    It is a phantasm that takes into account her legendary ability in painting allowing her to creat illusions that can even mess with all 5 senses, however it cannot cause any actually harm only the illusion of it, thus its low rank. It also only a part of true phantasm.

    curse of Arachne, A++
    by painting a picture of Zeus's constant affairs using her illusion phantasm an image of Athena bathed in golden light will appear and curse her transforming her into a monster like beast, and instantly droves her mad. All her stats expect for luck are increased to b rank and her strength increased to A+ rank. her skin also becomes strong enough to block Phantasms up to b rank, she gains a regelation of d class, posses a poison that kill almost any servent, and has webs that are has hard to break as an A class phantasm.

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    I might ahve gotten a little impatient with the last NP ah I'll fix tomrow to tired to fix it right now.

  18. #4398
    Deadass Baka Ail Don's Avatar
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    Oy vey

  19. #4399
    Tranquilo, Japones, Tranquilo JetKinen's Avatar
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    It's been a while since my last servant, i busy with college.
    I had the idea for this one since a long time a go.
    It's a mishmash of Jack Tales, one is much less accurate than the one You wrote back in 2012 (Legit great sheet by the way)
    It all started with a really dumb idea of: "Wouldn't it be funny if some farm kid Servant wanted to marry King Arthur's daughter because who doesn't want to marry a princess, but had no idea that Mordred was her actual daughter so he just hated Mordred for ruining his chance to become close to his king and his obviously beautiful daughter, and Mordred hating him because 'calling him a girl'."
    The answer is probably isn't that funny but here you go. heres Assassin

    Assassin
    faceclaim
    Info
    True Name:Jack Spriggins
    Also known as:The Giant Slayer; The Petty Thief; The Momma's Boy
    Gender: Male
    Alignment: Chaotic Good
    Likes: His Mother, His Father, His King, His King Beautiful Daughter, Thunderfel's Wife, the Magical Harp
    Dislikes: Giants, Blunderbore, Thunder, The Traitor Mordred
    Parameters and Skills
    STR: D+
    END: D+
    AGI: A+
    MGI: B
    LCK: A

    Class Skills

    Presence Concealment
    B - The class skill of the Assassin class. Hides one's presence as a Servant. Suitable for spying. It is possible to disappear and become extremely difficult to be detected. The rank of presence concealment drops considerably when preparing to attack.

    Personal Skills


    Disengage
    A+
    - This is the ability to withdraw from the battlefield in the midst of combat. The ability to withdraw from the battlefield, or reset the battle conditions. With this rank the Servant is able to gain advantage in combat while retreating. Restores the condition of this Skill to the initial value. At the same time, it forcibly releases some of the bad status ailments inflicted on the user of this Skill.

    Subversive Activities
    D
    - This is the talent to reduce the enemy forces in the preliminary stages before going into battle. An expert of traps. However, the higher the ranking of this Skill, the more one's spiritual status as a hero declines. With this rank It is possible to disable nearly 10% of the total military force before the enemy advances.

    Cowardice of the Rearguards

    A+ - A variation of the Dignity of the Rearguards skill destined to those whose survivel instincts screams to run away at the first sight of danger. A sixth sense triggered when a Servant faces disavantageous position. With it the User is able to find the best possible get away from bad situations and he gains stat bonuses when trying to run away. However, the higher the ranking of this Skill, the more one's spiritual status as a hero declines.
    Biography & Lore
    Jack Tales is the name given by the legends, fairy tales and nursery rhymes protagonized by Jack the archetypical trickster hero from the old English & Cornish Tales. Jack is one of the representation of the common young men of the land, who use of their cleverness to get out of sticky situations. Jack is not supposed to be a single man, but rather a representation of the youth, but some of these Jacks portrayed in the story have a lot of common with each other. This Heroic Spirit is the Jack that dealt with the Giants, portrayed in stories like Jack & The Beanstalk and Jack the Giant Killer

    Jack, was the son of farmers who lived in the outskirts of Britain during the Arthurian era. A simple but poor family, they struggled to survive, but even then they were content with with theirs lives. Alas, the father was conscripted by the local governors into fighting a war and sadly perished leaving Jack and his mother to take care of the farm. The pair did their best but they soon lost everything and the dairy cow was their only source of income. They decide to sell the Dairy Cow in hope of getting enough money to maybe buy a new farm. But in the city, Jack heard from a mysterious man about Magical Beans that could lead the Young Man into a castle with a golden goose who laid eggs of Gold. Jack, a simple young men who was always looking towards a way to get money, traded his Dairy Cow for those Magical beans.

    His Mother was extremely disappointed in him, thinking he fell for a scam, but Jack was relentless and planted the beans near his house. Midnight while everyone was sleeping, the beans grew in a massive beanstalk that reached the clouds. Jack climbed the beanstalk and found himself in a Castle in the Clouds governed by a Electricity-Wielding Giant named Thunderfel alongside his Wife, also a giant, who soon found him. To Jack's surprise, Thunderfel's wife had a heart as big as her body seemed to imply, and quickly befriended the young man. But while she didn't mind the boy, Thunderfel wasn't particularly kind to humans so she ushered him away from the castle in order to save Jack. But while she did so by the corner of the eye Jack saw it: Thunderfel's Immense Treasure. If only Jack and his Mother had a little of that wealth they would be set for life. So after saying goodbye to Thunderfel's wife, instead of going home, the little man sneaked inside the Giant's Castle and stole some of that wealth including magical beasts like the Golden Hen and Magical Items like the Golden Harp. But Thunderfel soon noticed it and initiated the famous mad chase. Jack eventually climbed down the beastalk and with the Giant giving chase Jack cut down the beanstalk plumetting Thunderfel into his death.

    While for a second things seemed like it ended in a happy ending for Jack and his Mother, things went awry when Thunderfel's Wife noticed what happened. Her husband was killed and she tricked and trapped in the Castle in the Skies thankss to Jack, the young man who she helped turned into Petty Thief. So she cursed the wealth: Whenever Jack and his Family tried to use any of the wealth he acquired from the Giants Thunder would struck Jack down and Nearby Giants would be able to sense his appearance. When Thunder and Giants suddenly started attacking the Noveau Richies, Jack left his Mother with some of the riches he was able to use before the curse laid place and ran away to save his mother from all the Giants chasing him.

    And so into adulthood Jack turned into a vagrant, who ran from city to city carrying with him immense wealth that he was unable to use. Whenever he wandered to, Jack tried the most ridiculous money schemes. Any money that he acquired were sent towards his Mother. But whenever he went Giants would chase him or he would eventually just happen to pass by one. Jack was a coward, but soon to survive he became specialist in Killing those who were stronger than him.

    With each Giant, Jack name would gain more and more renown in the outskirts of the Kingdom. So noticed some of his newfound fame Jack planned his last plan. He would go meet his King and ask for his help. Jack might've been just a petty killer but he did kill some multiples of the fiercest creatures known to men. Heck, maybe the King would've knight the boy? Maybe even given the hand of his daughter to him? He didn't knew if he had a daughter, but his King was a King and Kings usually have those. And so Jack begun his voyage to camelot. It was under that voyage that Jack faced Blunderfell his most fierce rival. The Giant kidnapped Jack mid voyage and trapped him in his Castle and put the Young Man through deadly torture and traps for what seemed like months. But Jack is able to escape and kill the Giant. And so in his last strenghts he complete his voyage to Camelot only to discover his King has died under the hand of the Knight of Treachery Mordred. Not only that but his mother also passed away in grief, longing for her son.

    Jack, who lived his entire life just trying to be a good son, gave up and holed himself in the castle where his mom died and spent the rest of his years guarding Thunderfel's Treasure so that nobody could use it and bring more giants. Feeling he didn't have long to live, he listened, one last time, to the tunes of the Magical Harp and Thunder struck him down.
    Noble Phantasms
    The Bigger They Are
    Jack's Axe

    Jack's main instrument of Murder, the Axe that fell the Beanstalk, Thunderfel, Blunderbore and the Many other Giants Jack Met. A simple Carpenter Axe that Jack can use as a weapon very effectively, visually it doesn't look all that impressive. In fact it really is just a regular axe at its core. But Jack skills in slaying Giants not only with the Axe but with many other ways ranging from hanging to poisoning, have been crystalized in the weapon more known to Jack, his axe.

    Against normal humans and enemies weaker or on that have about the same strenght as Jack this weapon is just a regular Axe, but when faced against enemies who are stronger than Jack, the Noble Phantasm increases its strenght and gains the property of being able to bypass all defenses, becoming able to slay even the most fierce opponents.

    Mind you, The Axe checks for those that are physically stronger than Jack, so it checks for Paramaters & Skills and Noble Phantasms that can give physical bonuses to the enemy. So Jack can be incredibly effective in killing Berserkers and the Knight Classes, but enemies like Caster who generally are physically weaker than Jack but who hold powerful magical abilities are the bane of Jack's existance

    It's also impressivly strong against buildings and is able to bring down them with ease
    Anti-Unit - C++
    A Petty Thief's Loot
    Thunderfel's Treasure

    The treasures looted by Jack in the Castle of the Skies. Thunderfel and his Wife had over the centuries, acquired an immense wealth, vastly surpassing that of many kings in the history of men. There are only few creatures in the world that were able to hold wealth as big as that. And with this Noble Phantasm, Jack is able, for a second, to "borrow" some of that treasure. Jack is able, much like a certain King, open an invisible door for which contents can pass through. Jack needs to stick his hand in that door and bring the item he wants to bring.The treasure holds multiple magical items and magical beasts that Jack can bring to help him. It also gives him, in theory, the skill Golden Rule A to him.

    In theory by having this Noble Phantasm, Jack is an incrediby powerful Servant, whoever this Noble Phantasm carries a great risk to Jack. Whenever he opens that door and uses one of the itens, Jack must do a luck check every few minutes. If Jack at any moment fails this check then Lightning will fall from the skies near his location. If Jack continues to use the item, the Lightning will begin to close on him, until it eventually strikes him. If somehow Jack survives the first lightning strike, Jack will constantly be bombarded by those bolts until he either dies or stops using the item. If he does, Jack needs to wait 24h before the curse resets. If he whoever pulls another Item, the lightning will continue from where he stopped (if it wasn't striking him will begin to close on him, and if it was striking him it will begin to grow in intensity). The lightning rain will start weak, as mere Rank E Noble Phatasms, but with each failed check their power will intensify, eventually becoming incredibly powerful, resembling almost Zeus' Bolts.

    Jack has a few of favorite items that he likes to bring
    - A cloak of invinsibility
    - Healing Potions
    - Powerful Poisons
    - Legendary Swords
    - The Goose who laid Golden Eggs
    - The Magical Harp
    While some of those could be bonafide Noble Phantasms under better hands, Jack isn't able to bring the full potential of those items with the exception of the Magical Harp. Or perharps is better said that the Harp is able to bring that potential by itself. The Harp carries a Guardian Spirit, the fusion of a Human Spirit with a Songbird Spirit, who is able to play itself. The Harp is a Noble Phantasm that is able to cast music magecraft like it had Protection of the Music God and Harp Performance at the A Rank.

    (The Guardian Spirit)
    The Guardian Spirit however, is a young energetic girl, that treats Thunderfel and his Wife like his Father & Mother and so hates what Jack has done to her family, and so it isn't uncommon for the Harp to ignore Jack and his wishes when he pulls her out of the treasure. However, her years under Jack, seeing him toll away in near misery just trying to give his Mother a better life, have given some sort of respect towards the Petty Thief. Their releationship is a complicated one, but it could be compared to that of Childhood Friends and Brother-Sister
    Rank A - Anti-Unit
    Road to the Skies
    The Beanstalk

    The Beanstalk that reached the heavens and introduced the Farmer into the Land of Giants and Magic. His Noble Phantasm is the bread and butter of Jack's skill as a servant and one that allows him to have Ultimate Terrain Advantage. When Jack is summoned, he has the ability to "plant" the seeds of his Beanstalk. To do so, Jack needs to gain control of an area's leylines. He can't do it by himself, and needs the help of his master or another Servant. Once he claims those leylines, Jack will plant magical beans in the land of his choosing. After a few days, from the place where the seed was planted a large trunk will grow. In the trunk theres a door, that will lead towards a Giant Maze with Multiple Doors in it. Only Jack know for certain how to navigate inside that maze. If you enter any of those doors, you will leave the maze and find yourself in another place of the City.

    The Seeds are actually warping the physicall space between the Leylines creating a maze that reaches as far as the Leylines can. Jack can use that maze inside the leylines to cover immense distance in seconds, using it as means to travel through the city, ambush enemies and as a escape method.

    The "doors" are not easily discovered through normal and magical ways, but if you however see Jack entering through one you're also able to follow him in the Maze. If he feels like that door isn't safe anymore Jack can destroy the door, essentially cutting one of the branches of this beanstalk. People who are inside of that branch of the beanstalk will be violently be spat out of the maze, and damaging that part of the leylines.

    Jack can also decide to cut the Main Trunk of his Maze. If he does so the end results will be catastrophical for the land. In this massive Broken Phantasm, Jack will destroy all the Leylines linked to the Trunk and unleashing a incredibly violent earthquake in the city. Those still inside the city will find themselves being bombarded by the violent energy of the broken leylines. The epicenter of the earthquake is the where the Main Trunk was located, and if Jack and his Master are able to survive it, Jack would not be able to plant his the beanstalk again thanks to the annihilation of the Leylines
    Rank EX - Maze


    I'll add a personality thing later, just wanted to post this now.

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    Shoutouts to Daneel and his great Bathory sheet. Full of flavour as always

    Though i feel like every of your servants are fetishes nowadays

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    So that people wont give feedback, Venomking please reconsider the timeline of events where Arachne somehow is hunted by the Zealot
    Last edited by JetKinen; February 12th, 2017 at 04:26 AM.

    Fate Grand/Order ID: 102947414/GreenBob
    JetKinen's tries very poorly to translate a brazilian book

  20. #4400
    I like how Daneel's loli witch made us readers a bit paranoid about them. A victim, yes, but how much of her image was carved to ensnare all who cherishes her?

    I wonder if the Smiling Angel class skill is heavier on magical influences than mannerism and appearance - I'd imagine only a certain types of personalities would be affected, those on the more extreme ends (dutiful, sociopathic, logical) with strong sense of self shouldn't be so adversely entranced.

    ...That said, best daughteru Illya-ian Servant is fine too.

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