"Water in the sky, sky in the water. In the sky of the moon is a shattered sea."
Class: Caster
Alignment: True/good
Region: Moon
Height: 167cm
Weight: 52kg
Likes: Music, humans, full moon nights
Dislikes: solitude, silence, being abandoned
Talent: terraforming
Armaments: coral
Natural Enemy: Brunestud of the crimson moon
stats
Str: A
End: A
Agi: C
Mna: EX
Lck: A
NP: EX
Skills
Noble phantasm
Background
personality
here is a list of my servant sheets(new and improved format for my servant sheets)
Come explore the White Library, and reach the bottom of this Abyss
Fate / White Memoria
FC Link
Alternate Classes: Caster, Assassin
True Name: Tokugawa Yoshimune
Alignment: Lawful Good
Origin: Japan (17th century)
Armament: Sword
Parameters:
STR: C
END: D
AGI: B
MANA: D+
LUCK: A
NP: B
Skills
Noble Phantasms
Description
Lore
Caster of the Moon:
Haven't read Tsuki No Sango but it's an interesting sheet.
How does the transfiguration work when you have an EX value?
Can she just manipulate all her non-Mana parameters?
If she's based on Arc is she a Vampire?
Yoshimune:
Interesting take on another person obsessed with swords.
Nice to see it despite his gimmick being about a sword collection and copying it isn't inherently made to be EMIYA but better as I've seen others do.
Not clear how many swords he can manifest at once or if he can regenerate them in any way but that's usually unclear. I'd have tried sublimating the tournament to be part of the book, say he could maybe specify a "challenge" in terms of type of sword he'd want made by writing in the book. The book would then simulate the tournament and could give out some custom E or D-rank blades that fit the description.
Considering he disliked the decline in swordsmithing tradition but wasn't necessarily successful in reviving the prominence of the art would have noted older swords from his collection cost more.
I would assume the tournament thingy might be his NP as a Caster, as it isn't a very direct application of his legend.
As for the additional cost of older (and/or better) swords, I suppose that's implied as higher ranked weapons are obviously more costly to produce. He has no limit to the number of swords he can manifest at a time outside of the constraints of available magical energy, but he can't control them except by wielding them in his hands. He can recreate a broken sword as long as he knows what it was like, as the produced version is a copy to begin with. No duplicates of duplicates, though.
Her Transfiguration is exactly the same as Enkidu's and no, she is not a vampire nor a goddess nor a type. I guess she is like a very, VERY powerful golem but honestly, i don't exactly know what she is because, even if a read Tsuki no sango several times, it's not the most clear stuff.
here is a list of my servant sheets(new and improved format for my servant sheets)
Come explore the White Library, and reach the bottom of this Abyss
Fate / White Memoria
Servant Archer:
Appearance:
Source
True Name: Lamech
Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
Strength- A
Agility- D
Endurance- B
Mana- B
Luck- D
NP- B
Personality
Class Skills:
Independent Action- C
The ability to sustain oneself in the World without a supply of magical energy from one's Master. At this rank, one can linger in the World for one day in the absense of an active contract.
Magic Resistance- C
Confers protection against magical effects. At this rank, spells with a chant below two verses are nullified. Cannot cope against the likes of High Thaumaturgy or Greater Rituals. Archer lived at the dawn of the Age of Gods, when mythic beasts roamed the earth freely and the air itself was pregnant with Mana. As such he naturally sports a decent level of resistance.
However, Archer didn't have any anecdotes of encountering Magecraft in life so his rank is lower than it could be.
Personal Skills:
Natural Body- C
Possession of a perfect physique as a human being from birth. As one of the earliest humans in God's creation Archer has a "divine constitution" superior to modern mankind. Even as an old man he boasts a hardened muscular body that'd make bodybuilders blush. Strength is ranked up, and Archer's body-shape doesn't degrade no matter how many calories are ingested. A fact he abuses to gorge himself on endless amounts of junk food.
Weak Constitution (Blindness)- A
Connotes a weakness struck by the nature of ill health. In Archer's case it afflicts his eyes, which have grown totally blind in his old age. Normally for one who relies on ranged weapons this would significantly hinder Archer's fighting prowess, but thanks to his first Noble Phantasm he can still aim and shoot perfectly despite his lack of sight.
Immortal Breaker- B
A Skill encapsulating the conflicting legends where Archer slew his ancestor Cain despite the latter's curse of immortality. This concept of "having killed one cursed to never die" has dyed into Archer's body and arrows, manifesting as a passive ability that nullifies any form of unnatural longevity at rank B or lower. While valuable in battle, as this Skill embodies one of Archer's greatest regrets he regards it as closer to a curse.
Noble Phantasms
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So here's another sheet I spun together. This was my experiment in making a Genesis Heroic Spirit whose isn't ridiculously OP like Adam, Noah and others but more of a typical mid-tier Servant.
As usual, comments and critiques would be welcome. Thanks for reading!
Last edited by RoydGolden; December 14th, 2019 at 06:25 PM. Reason: Edited 1st NP
Lamech: I'm assuming he's blind to justify mistaking a human for an animal, or is there some other reason? There doesn't seem to be any mention of that in actual sources, only in interpretations and analyses.
Not sure if the first NP should be ranked B, since it doesn't seem all that effective. I'm also left wondering why its power is likened to that of a ballistic missile if it's just an arrow striking a single target (being Anti-Unit). It's a quibble, but ballistic missiles aren't known for the damage they do by the mass of their impact.
It does amuse me that, for all the metaphysical importance placed on Cain (not to mention all the superpowered/immortal representations of him in fiction), he goes out by getting shot with an arrow by his own descendant.
"Rufus"?:One Question if i understood that Right is he a through the contact with outer Gods distorted Atomic Reactor-core ,Right ?
Unktehila:Not bad let me guess her familars a Draconic snakes Right?i ask because which species of beings Arent stated in the sheet if ist snakes then good but a expicit Mention is missing here and two Questions it stated that she is a giantic servant could you give out a meter number she is Long/tall which she has during summoning and how would she react if other servants are fellow beasts like my Mothman as example ?
Yoshimune :a intersting Saber build ,have i understood it Right that he can copy swords also from other servants by add them to Kyōhō Meibutsu Chō ? and example wise could he evoke his copy Balmung the Blue Flame stream like Siegfried ?
and please give my Titanic sheet a look im curious About your oppinion !
Your verified Chikara-production Studios !
Dont ship me with anyone unless i say so !
When you wake a Dragon in his Lair...
The blindness is a big part of Lamech's legend in secondary sources, even if it isn't included in the Bible itself. If I just went with how Lamech is described there I doubt he'd qualify as a Heroic Spirit at all, since he doesn't have any notable feats aside from killing two nameless dudes and bragging about it. It's only in secondary sources that he's interesting (sort of like Methuselah in that regard).
I wasn't sure about his first NP's rank actually. I decided to make it B because I figured that was the typical rank for NPs that are just a really well-made weapon, even before considering any fancy conceptual abilities. (Keep in mind that Arondight is A++, even though its only actual abilities are ranking up Lancelot's stats and giving a bonus to saving throws). I could lower it to C-rank though. For the ballistic missile stuff, I figured given it's one of the first bows made in the Age of Gods that it would be considerably more powerful than an ordinary bow.
And thanks for the feedback Shiki-pon!
Have you ever considered actually reading the sheets before asking your usual type of questions? Unktehila admittedly doesn't outright spell what her spawned familiars are, but the offspring of a creature are usually of a kind with their parent. As for her size, she's somewhere around the 30 meter mark in terms of length.
As for your Titanic sheet, its terribleness is just the usual fare. Loaded with every imaginable Skill that you could think of an excuse to shove in and the Noble Phantasm's type doesn't make a lick of sense. And most heinous of all, despite the fact that somebody seems to have spell-checked the end result for you, Magic Resistance is spelled wrong.
I have more important things to attend to so I won't subject myself to the torture of actually going through the sheet point by point.
Aw, I actually thought that was one of Koga's better sheets. She only has one "Skill that gives a bunch of other Skills" and it's pretty well justified by her nature as a conglomeration of souls IMO. At this point I think you're letting your aversion for Koga bias your judgment a tad (to be fair, he's the one who keeps asking you for feedback).
I resent the 'only one' argument as to a Skill that gives a bunch of other Skills. Not every single Servant has to have one, and that particular one (besides its frankly idiotic name - I mean, I get what he's going for, but sheesh) makes the sheet less about Titanic and more about the passengers. Conglomerations of souls also seem kinda sketchy in terms of being a Servant to my mind. In fact, the sheet would work far better if it was "The Voyage of the Titanic" rather than Titanic itself, but I don't think events qualify as having souls (even objects are a questionable case, but I've made a vehicle myself, so I'm not going to complain about that).
And though it is true that I despise Koga for his apparent inability to actually learn anything, I at least made the attempt to gauge his work from a neutral standpoint. Of course, I always bring up the usual problems (random Skills, 'every Skill at once' Skills, questionable logic) since they're always there.
Crab: You had the chance of saying Krabby Phantasm and wasted it. I didn't hear of him being Team Rocketed by Heracles either, but including that would really suit your style.
Not-Brunestud: My knowledge of Tsuki no Sango is null, but I really liked the sheet. My only nitpick is that 'overwriting the World's texture' doesn't necessarily transcribes into 'Anti-World', as Golem Keter Malkuth does that too but is 'Anti-Army'. It's a very minor nitpick that can be easily justified with her being a terraformer and all that, though.
Lamech: I have to agree with Shiki on the rank for his first NP. I'd personally lower it to C. And the comparison with a ballistic missile is admittedly weird (Rin's comparison of Anti-Unit and Anti-Army NPs with guns and missiles comes to mind). This may be a silly question, but since you describe Immortal Breaker as affecting only 'unnatural longevity', am I right to assume it wouldn't help against God Hand?
AWAKEN MY RULERS
Fair enough about Tubal Qayin. I lowered it to C-rank and adjusted the comparison from a missile to a rifle shot, which hopefully still conveys the impression that it's way beyond a normal bow without being too powerful. As for whether his third Skill would affect God Hand, I'm honestly not quite sure but since it's aof immortality kind of like the Mark of Cain I'd place pretty high bets on yes. And thanks for the feedback!cursegift
well this just means i gotta put my tubal-cain sheet on the backburner for a bit thanks royd
@koga the titanic sheet is a good concept that is way too strong for what it like, is, which is fine if you've got a good justification for it (not to toot my own horn but i did a similar kinda thing with fu manchu), but in practice it just comes across as "my oc is really strong you guys". there's not a problem in making a weaker sheet, ya know? weaker in terms of, er, power levels, not like quality n stuff.
@padoru krabby phantasm is a good pun i'll add it to my list of things to change if ever remake the sheet. i'd like to include the herakl-yeet too but i have no idea how to do that (afaik not many noble phantasms are based on how somebody got their ass royally blasted)
Eh, you can go on ahead and make that Tubal-Cain sheet if you want kiwi. I don't think anybody here minds. As for Koga, I'm afraid that he doesn't know the meaning of the phrase, "dial it down". Though perhaps if he doesn't understand it in English, maybe we could talk to him in his native language and see if the message finally gets through?
AWAKEN MY RULERS
FC Link
Alternate Classes: Rider, Caster, Ruler
True Name: Cecrops
Alignment: Lawful Good
Origin: Greek Mythology
Armament: Spear
Parameters:
STR: C
END: B
AGI: B
MANA: A
LUCK: B
NP: C
Skills
Noble Phantasms
Description
Lore