Messed up the lore a bit regarding Simon's first NP, which I just corrected. Got the meaning of her assumed name switched around with that of her birthname, for one thing.
Messed up the lore a bit regarding Simon's first NP, which I just corrected. Got the meaning of her assumed name switched around with that of her birthname, for one thing.
Faceclaim:
Spoiler:
Class: Lancer
Alignment: Lawful Good
Place of Origin: Northern Europe
Parameters:
Strength- B
Endurance- A
Agility- A
Mana- B
Luck- D
Noble Phantasm- C+
Likes: Helgi, Battles
Dislikes: Separation
Natural Enemy: Dagr
Class Skills:
- Magic Resistance (B) - Grants protection against magical effects, cancels spells with a chant below three verse. Even if targeted by High-Thaumathurgy and Greater Rituals, it is difficult for Lancer to be affected.
Personal Skills:
- Divinity (E) - Measures Divine Spirit aptitude, an ex-automaton that used to serve the gods. Lancer possesses a low rank in this skill.
- Riding (A) - Denotes the ability to ride mounts, at this rank all creatures but those of Phantasmal Beast and Divine Beasts can be used as mounts.
- Primal Runes (N/A) - Usage of the original runes is enabled. These runes are different from the runes modern magi use. These are primal runes with the power of the Age of Gods. They confer a variety of effects and allow Lancer to temporarily bolster her parameters.
- Hero's Bridesmaid (C) - Allows for the viewing of another Heroic Spirit's legend.
Noble Phantasms:
Spoiler:
Lore:
Spoiler:
Last edited by Magikewl; August 29th, 2016 at 10:10 AM.
Simon Kokhba: Not sure about the Messiah (False) skill as although I like the idea behind it it doesn't have much basis behind it as other servants have been in a similar position yet not held the skill, not even Saver aka Buddha had a skill like that. A better thing to do would just be to rename it to False Prophet if you want to keep it. The second Noble Phantasm is just Attendant of Iron on a large scale so ditch that and add the skill.
Composite Valkyrie: I like the idea behind this one and it shows in the Noble Phantasms which adds a lot of variety. The parameters and skills are pretty much just a copy of Brynhildr so the NP's are really the only things going for this one I'm afraid.
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Thanks for the feedback. As for my response...
Regarding Messiah (False)... you're right but I think I do have a bit of leeway here regarding newly introduced Skills that past Servants could've easily had. Like Arturia, a great king who won 12 impossible battles or something not having Military Tactics. For Buddha, I think you could maybe justify it that the Skill represents is a more 'western' idea of a messiah whereas Buddha may have fit the bill in actions but wasn't actually thought of as meeting the title in the way westerners would recognize?
I wasn't thinking of Attendant Of Iron while making that NP but you're right, there are similarities. It works a bit differently, though. AoI seems only to apply to one's Master (though that could just be Benkei's version, but whatever) and works passively by proximity whereas Simon's NP requires active invocation and can work to anybody (including Muggles) who can stand the effects. It is similar but I wanted to give him an army-based NP that wasn't just your usual army summon so I'll probably be keeping it, though I might think to modify it to make it a little more unique. (Maybe the personalities of his soldiers 'bleed over' into their vessels?)
You can keep the Messiah skill, I'd just rename it to something not containing the word messiah. You could give Simon a high ranked version of the skill with '+' modifiers to state the personality blend.
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Recent discussion has prompted the generation of the only "properly canon compliant" Servant possible under the strictest guidelines, as established by Fate / Stay Night.
Spoiler:
i call bullshit. That's Fate Complete Materials 3 not FSN
Utterly not canon.
Originally Posted by FSF 5, Chapter 14: Gold and Lions IThough abandoned, forgotten, and scorned as out-of-date dolls, they continue to carry out their mission, unchanged from the time they were designed.
Machines do not lose their worth when a newer model appears.
Their worth (life) ends when humans can no longer bear that purity.
I don't think I could've done better if I wrote that myself.
- - - Updated - - -
(btw there are errors in that old draft. Latest edit will always be here)
I've always wanted a go at making this guy myself and I figured it's been long enough since the last version - don't worry, he is significantly less powerful than that one.
------------------------------
Source (X)
Class: Saber (Alternatively Rider)
True Name: El Cid "Lord of the Battlefield"
Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
Place of Origin: Spain
Attribute: Man
Traits: Human
Armament: Armour, Two Swords
STR: A
END: B
AGI: B+
MGI: C
LCK: B
NP: A
Height/Weight: 181cm/79kg
Likes: Adventure and Glory
Dislikes: Corrupt and Incompetent Royalty
Talent: Forging Alliances
Natural Enemy: King Alfonso
Class Skills:
Magic Resistance: C
Grants protection against magical effects. Differently from the Resistance effect that merely rejects Magical Energy, this ability cancels the spells altogether. Cancel spells with a chant below two verses. Cannot defend against Magecraft on the level of High-Thaumaturgy and Greater Rituals.
Riding: B
The ability to ride mounts. Rider-class Servants will typically possess a high rank, and A-rank can allow for Phantasmal Beasts and Divine Beasts to be mounted. It is said that dragon type mounts are an exception, requiring a different ability other than Riding. Most vehicles and animals can be ridden with above average skill, however monstrous beasts can't be mounted.
Personal Skills:
Bravery: A
The ability to negate mental interference such as pressure, confusion and fascination. It also has the bonus effect of increasing melee damage. Not usable under the effects of Mad Enhancement.
Charisma: C+
The natural talent to command an army. This rank is suitable for the general of a country's armed forces. His radiated self confidence inspires others around him and raises morale.
Military Tactics: B
Tactical knowledge used not for one-on-one combat situations, but for battles where many are mobilised. Bonus modifiers are provided during use of one's own Anti-Army Noble Phantasm or when dealing against an enemy Anti-Army Noble Phantasm.
Subversive Activities: C
The talent to reduce the enemy forces in the preliminary stages, before going into battle. An expert of traps. However, the higher is the ranking of this Skill, the more one's spiritual status as a hero declines. The Servant can reduce enemy strength by up to 25% before combat is initiated.
Noble Phantasms
TizonaThe Firebrand Greatsword
Type: Anti-Unit/Anti-Army
Rank: A
Range: 1-30
Max Targets: 200 People
One the two blades which Rodrigo used in his life. It is a two handed greatsword which the Spanish hero is capable of wielding singlehandedly. The most famous sword of El Cid forged of Damascan steel that still exists to this day, acting as a guaranteed catalyst. In his hands, Tizona possesses an eternal fire enchantment, inflicting magical fire damage alongside regular strikes that cannot have their damage reduces, even by means of Magical Resistance. In effect, this weapon acts as if the Prana Burst (Flames) skill was always active at a minimal cost to him. Utilising its full power he can charge forwards and annihilate the enemies like a shooting star with the sword projecting burning prana. It has no other extravagant effect aside from this and is otherwise a simple Noble Phantasm that just does a large amount of damage. There is a drawback to using this sword, it's fame and recognition. Using it in battle will alert everyone in the vicinity as to his true identity.
ColadaPurest Blade of Clarity
Type: Anti-Unit
Rank: B
Range: 1
Max Targets: 1 Person
The second sword of Eld Cid who won it in combat from the Count of Barcelona. A fine silver rapier known for its flawless construction with no impurities. When drawn it gives off a pale ethereal glow that unsettles the opponent. Said to terrorise any unworthy opponent such as the duel against the infante Diego González. Any servant who does not possess Bravery or an equivalent of equal rank will have to make a saving throw, if failed the opponent will become terrified and be considered to be disadvantageous in every action against the user of Colada. Those who roll a critical failure will become temporarily paralysed with fear. Due to being less recognisable than his more famous greatsword, Colada will become his primary Noble Phantasm in terms of usage.
Lore
Personality
Tactics
--------------------------------
The idea behind him was based around Diarmuid, strong in one-on-one combat and not exactly flashy (aside from his main Noble Phantasm) and stat-wise he is based around other 'national heroes' like Arturia, Siegfried, Jeanne and Altera.
Last edited by Bird of Hermes; August 1st, 2017 at 04:41 PM. Reason: Skill Swap
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Servant Saber:
True Name: Damocles
Alignment: Lawful Good
Strength- D (C)
Agility- C+ (B+)
Endurance- D (C)
Mana- E (D)
Luck- C (B)
NP- A+
Appearance: A young man, rather handsome in an unremarkable way. He has short, slightly spiky dark hair, a hint of light stubble on his chin, olive skin and deep green eyes. Normally sports a broad, lazy grin across his face. Is simply dressed in ancient Greek white robes with sandals and light bronze armor.
History: A court retainer, Damocles spent his time waxing over the great fortunes of his liege Dionysus of Syracuse, saying that there was no way such a man, who lived surrounded by fame and wealth, could be anything but blissful. Irritated, Dionysus asked his courtier- if he desired that indolent lifestyle so much, would he like a taste of it himself?
Accepting, the king seated Damocles under a golden throne with treasures of gold and silver, succulent plates of food and beautiful servants all around him. Damocles was ready to rejoice in his good fortunes when he noticed a single razor-sharp sword hung from the ceiling by the finest horse-hair thread. Damocles asked what was the meaning of this and Dionysus replied, "This is the true nature of kingship. Those with power live under perpetual fear of death and betrayal. Know this before you proclaim our lives as 'fortunate'."
Terrified, Damocles fled the king's throne, rejoicing that he was less 'fortunate'. Thusly, the tale of Damocles is one showing that true happiness is to be found in simple enjoyment and a rustic lifestyle, not in that of a ruler above whose head a figurative sword perpetually hangs.
The rest of Damocles's life was forgotten by history. In fact, Damocles left his king's court- no longer able to tolerate its luxuries- and spent the rest of his days travelling the lands, preaching the truths he'd learned to all who'd listen. He lived according to his values and died without any regrets. An uneventful but decent person to the end, he has ascended to the Throne Of Heroes due to the sword sharing his name becoming a great symbol across human history.
Personality: Simple and down-to-earth in manner. Having learned from the parable bearing his name, Saber realizes the uselessness of wealth and fame when it comes to achieving happiness, preferring to live a simple, rustic existence. Saber has a laid-back, casual personality. He prefers leisure to working and dislikes pointless effort, but is not lazy by any means. When he settles on a challenge, Saber embraces it with every fiber of his being. As a courtly retainer, Saber refers to his Master in the Grail War as 'milord'. Since he views it as the job of a courtier to support their lord in all ways, he won't hesitate to draw a blade for the sake of his Master.
Being without personal ambitions, it would seem Saber has no need of the Holy Grail. In fact, there is a wish he desires. A simple world where everybody can live and enjoy happiness together. That is the simple, yet grand wish Saber is striving for. The sole reason he- who lived without regrets- accepts summoning as a Servant.
Likes: a simple lifestyle, good food & drink
Dislikes: fame, extravagence of all sorts
Talents: praising the king, learning moral lessons
Natural Enemy: Dionysus of Syracuse, King of Heroes
Class Skills:
Magic Resistance (C)- Cancel spells with an incantation below two verses. Cannot cope with the likes of High Thaumaturgy or Greater Rituals. Having performed no notable feats of heroism and never encountering magic in life, Saber has only a low rank unbefitting of his most noble Class.
Personal Skills:
Courtier (C)- A Skill for those who served as flatterers in a royal court. Similar to the Skill Self-Suggestion, only applied to one's Master rather then oneself. By encouraging through praiseful words, Saber can greatly boost not only his Master's confidence but their physical prowess as well, raising up to two parameters to levels approaching that of lower-tier Heroic Spirits. It can also function as a form of hypnotic suggestion to block out mental interference.
Allegorical Hero (B)- Nature of one whose legend served as a moral fable. Depending on the exact nature of one's legend, bonuses are dealt regarding certain enemies. Saber's tale was a cautionary one, showing the perpetual fear faced by kings, and the superiority of a rustic, simple life to one of wealth and extravagence. As such, Saber obtains a Rank-Up to all parameters against foes qualifying as 'kings'.
Noble Phantasms:
Sword Of Damocles- Metus Est Plenus Tyrannis (C+, Anti-Unit): The anecdote for which an unremarkable courtier such as Saber achieved untold fame as a Heroic Spirit, symbolizing the omnipresent fear hanging over the heads of tyrants and rulers. Fitting his legend, this Noble Phantasm crystallizes in the form of a literal sword. As the weapon of a king, it is rather opulently fashioned, with a large ruby imbedded in the crossguard, gold trim along the blade and a tuft of horse-hair hanging from the pommel.
Along the blade's flat are inscribed the Latin words "".Fear Is Plentiful For TyrantsMetus Est Plenus Tyrannis
On its own, the sword is not too powerful. While durable and sharp, its nature as a ceremonial weapon makes it not terribly suited for close combat. The blade's true power lies in what it symbolizes, a fear afflicting those with wealth and power. Any target who is wounded by this blade will be struck by 'dread'. For most targets, this merely takes the form of a lingering fear gnawing at the back of their minds, rendering it difficult to think and fight at full effectiveness. However, just as the blade in legend hung over the heads of wealthy tyrants, so too will this Noble Phantasm show its greatest effect amongst those famed for their power and riches.
The more material wealth and fame the target had in life, the stronger the 'dread'. For kings and those similar this will truly be a crippling blow, imbuing them with an overpowering, irrational fear that suffuses to their very bones. It bestows an illusion similar to those with the Mystic Eyes of Death Perception, as if the entire world and everything in it could crumble apart in a single moment. Those affected by such a fear will have trouble swinging their blades, let alone fighting effectively. In a sense, this could be considered an [Anti-King, Anti-Ruler] Noble Phantasm that, combined with his Allegorical Hero Skill, makes Saber an ideal Servant for slaying those with Charisma, Golden Rule or similar Skills.
Ironically, this would include his own liege, Dionysus of Syracuse, if they were ever to encounter one another again. The 'dread' inflicted by this Noble Phantasm is not a permanent curse, but lasts only so long as the target is in battle with Saber. As soon as combat ceases, regardless of who is victorious, the effects shall immediately be annulled.
Destrictus Ensis- Drawn Sword Of Imminent Destruction (A+, Anti-Army): The 'true form' of Saber's Sword of Damocles. The embodiment of how the sword is perceived in popular culture, an imminent destruction hanging over the citizens of the world. In the Cold War, the omnipresent threat of nuclear annihilation was famously analogized to a Sword of Damocles hanging over the world, and it seems those perceptions have twisted the sword's nature into one synonymous with latent destruction.
Upon invoking its True Name, Saber's blade flies up high into the air, levitating above the landscape with its tip pointed directly downwards. The sword then grows massively, with the blade alone becoming the size of a large building. Now enormous, the Sword of Damocles plummets down blade-first on the terrain below with gargantuan impact, cracking the earth and inflicting widespread destruction upon the surrounding area. The force from the sword's descent is comparable to a localized meteor strike, leaving nothing untouched for a hundred mile radius. Gaining power from all the portrayals of Damocles across popular culture, it is a truly powerful attack with destructive potential rivalling most holy swords.
Upon hitting the ground, the blade will rapidly return to its wielder's hand, still giving off smoke from the force of the impact. Also, it requires a great deal of magical energy to activate. Due to Saber's rather low supply of Mana, he will likely be brought to near-death simply from the cost of invoking this Noble Phantasm.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A Saber idea I've had in mind for quite a while, but couldn't think of how to do effectively until now. His stats are pretty low for a Saber but I think it makes sense given that he was a courtier, not a warrior, and was pretty much only famous at all because of a sword he never actually wielded. As always, be sure to drop by with comments and criticisms! Thanks.
Last edited by RoydGolden; February 2nd, 2017 at 11:49 PM.
Not enough El Cid wank.
Royd: I love the idea of Damocles second Noble Phantasm literally just being a colossal sword. With all the beamu and everything already prevalent in the saber class is nice to see something different to an almost comical degree. That and I can imagine everyone's reactions to seeing a giant sword pop out of nowhere and just squish everyone. I don't think mana should be quite that low but hey, to each there own.
- - - Updated - - -
Mizu: Ah yes, the El Cid Shenanigans... The last one had enough wank to cover the next few sheets of that character (the first version of four had like 10 or more skills and two EX noble phantasms if i remember correctly)
- - - Updated - - -
That pun was not intentional
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Hermes: Since you did feedback on mine I might as well do yours as well. El Cid's pretty well-done. Manages to be powerful without being wanked, which is more then can be said for certain others here. (Jokes aside, I actually think the last version of Cid Amaranth posted up was fairly balanced, then again I might be more tolerant of OP stuff then most here)
The Knight Tactics Skill seems kind of contrived, IMO. That's the Skill Diarmuid got in Grand Order, right? I'd recommend nixing it and replacing with EOTM(T), which sounds more-or-less the same in terms of effect. Honestly, it's kind of strange Diarmuid of all people would have a Skill based on 'the tactics of a knight' when far more famous knights like Arturia have nothing of the sort, but what can you do...?
Overall, he sounds like an interesting Servant with a fun personality that I wouldn't mind seeing in a Grail War. Particularly how he'd interact around Rin...
Looks like El Cid may become the next Simo Hayha or Shiki Tohno round here at this rate.
The dude was said to be highly tactical and unstoppable in one on one combat so I wanted to give him a skill based around that. I wasn't sure if he qualified for something like Eternal Arms Mastership and I've used EOTM a fair bit, I also considered giving him Military Tactics alongside it but I didn't want to give him too many skills, this is where Knights Tactics cane handy as it combined solo combat and tactical thought processes so unless you or others particularly think it's necessary then I'd be more inclined to keep it how it is.
As for Rin... He'd probably tease her for her crushes on Shirou and Arturia and generally be friendly but unlike a certain archer not be manipulating or treacherous. Though it would vary depending on the circumstances.
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Class: Caster
STR: D
END: D
AGI: C
MGI: A
LCK: B
Class Skills
Territory Creation (A): Capable of creating a Temple. Caster's Temple incorporates
a wide variety of defenses from different magecraft systems, allowing him to tailor
his barriers to counter any assault.
Item Construction (B): Can produce various magical tools and Mystic Codes.
Personal Skills
Magecraft (A+): From a young age, Caster was a prodigy who quickly mastered healing,
divination, necromancy, demonology, astronomy and herbology while travelling through
Greece, Mesopotamia and Egypt and being taught and blessed by the cults of their gods.
Patron Saint (B): A composite skill that comprises the Saint skill, it grants Caster extra
skills or abilities related to his patronages. Though his sorcerous abilities were renounced
upon his conversion, his position as the patron saint of magicians of all kinds grants him
the sum total of all his powers granted by the Devil and the gods of Greece and Egypt.
Noble Phantasms
The Sorcerer's Treasure~The Great Book of Saint Cyprian (B+, Magecraft)
A grimoire containing the sum total of Caster's knowledge. It contains instructions of
spells of Greece, Egypt and Mesopotamia, and after Caster's death was brought to South
America where additions were made containing the arts of Brazil, the Caribbean and Africa.
It serves as a magical core that fuels its own spells, freeing up Caster's prana for the
purpose of direct combat and commanding his familiars.
Great Duke Vual~Demon God of Memphis (A+, Anti-Army)
A demon that was bound by Solomon in his great Ring along with seventy-two others. While
journeying through Egypt, Caster met him in Memphis. Once a warrior angel, Vual was among
those who fell from grace and became a Grand Duke of Hell. Bound and summoned as Caster's
familiar, he takes the form of either a mighty dromedary or a handsome Egyptian man. His
specialties are divination and demagoguery, particularly when seducing women. Aside from
this, his skill at magecraft is at the level of a talented human, though his nature as a
demonic being makes his raw power far greater. He is also noted to command thirty-seven
legions of demons, giving Caster a formidable infantry force. His relationship with Caster
is complicated, since he was a faithful familiar for many years, but was discarded upon
Caster's realization of his powerlessness against Heaven and his subsequent conversion to
Christianity. Though he has no qualms about working on the side of the angels if the situation
calls for it, and Caster's binding of him is effective enough to ensure his cooperation, it is a very
dangerous thing to offend the pride of a demon, and he will remember every perceived slight.
Justina~Redemption of the Saint (B+, Support, Anti-Magic)
A fail-safe should Caster lose control of his demonic familiars or powers. By performing the
sign of the cross and saying the name of the saint that converted him, all evil aspects of his
Noble Phantasms are sealed. This includes banishing Vual and his legions and destroying most
of the pages in his grimoire. He can also use it to end any change in status, assuming that the
effect had evil origins. Despite losing a large portion of his power, Caster is still dangerous
since he can still perform baptismal sacraments to great effect. This is meant as a last resort,
but if Vual can somehow be convinced to also give up his evil ways, using this Noble Phantasm
will purge him of all evil and reform him as an Angel of the Powers (this is highly unlikely).
Background
Last edited by Funderfullness; August 30th, 2016 at 09:10 PM.
"We don't need martyrs right now. We need heroes. A hero would die for his country, but he'd much rather live for it." -Josiah Bartlet
List of Servants I've made
Servant Lancer:
True Name: Meleager
Alignment: Neutral Good
Strength- C
Agility- A
Endurance- D
Mana- C
Luck- D (EX)
NP- B+
Appearance:
Personality: An equitable and just man of character. He has a princely smile and dashing good looks that made women across the country flock to him. However, the one women he truly desired was the one he could not obtain- the great huntress Atalanta. He loves beautiful women of all kinds but loves strong and capable women above all. Lancer is not afraid to play the flirt when facing attractive women- on the battlefield or otherwise- but will rein in such frivolous manners when the setting demands it.
Lancer has a very strong sense of fairness and justice that won't tolerate anybody getting less then what they deserve. He also abhors vulgar and boorish men that try to take advantage of women, not hesitating to cut down such people even if they happen to be his own family. As a hero cursed with a tragic destiny, he shows a somewhat melancholy manner while contemplating the events of his mortal life. Even so, since he acted fairly and decently until the end, he does not bear any regrets for his actions. Lancer's wish on the Grail is to meet up once more with his beloved huntress, Atalanta, hoping that their love, which was cut short unfairly in life, will have a chance to fully bloom.
Likes: powerful women, hunting, fairness
Dislikes: vulgar men, the Fates
Talent: organizing a great hunt
Natural Enemy: his family, Atalanta
Class Skills:
Magic Resistance (C-)- Cancel spells with an incantation below two verses. Cannot cope with the likes of High Thaumaturgy of Greater Rituals. Though born from the Age of Gods, Lancer never encountered sorcery so his rank is low. Due to a certain other Skill, effectiveness declines further regarding charm effects from women.
Personal Skills:
Hunting Tactics (B)- The tactics and state of mind required for a successful hunt. A variety of hunting-related Skills such as Tracking, Bravery, Instinct and Presence Detection can be utilized at C~B ranked proficiency. Lancer was a famous hunter who hosted the legendary Calydonian Boar Hunt.
Beauty Of Trouble With Women (C)- Nature of one unfortunate in love. Grants bonuses when it comes to attracting women, while at the same time declining one's own resistance to charm effects originating from women. Lancer's demise ultimately came from favoring a women he loved- Atalanta- over his own brother and uncle, so his nature as one troubled by matters of love is indubitable.
Charisma (D+)- Ability to inspire others, and lead armies. At this rank, one is capable of leading a 'Hunting Party' comprised of several dozen heroic individuals.
Projectiles (Spears) (B)- The expertise for throwing projectile weapons; in this case, spears. At this rank, a single thrown spear can pierce through multiple targets in succession or demolish an entire brick wall upon impact.
Noble Phantasms:
Moíra Márka- The Fateful Brand (B, Support): Upon his birth, the Fates prophesied that Lancer's life would be tied to that of a certain piece of firewood burning in his family's hearth. So long as it was intact, he would assuredly survive but, if it was ever to be burnt, then Lancer's life would burn up along with it. This Noble Phantasm crystallizes as an unremarkable looking piece of firewood, appearing alongside Lancer upon his summoning.
The prophesy surrounding the wood is double-edged, conferring to Lancer both his greatest blessing and also his most odious curse.
As long as it remains intact, Lancer has the equivalent of EX rank Luck which grants him assured survival in nearly any predicament. Mortal blows end up as mere glancing scrapes, incoming arrows are blown off-course by sudden gusts of wind, area-of-effect attacks that bombard the landscape leave him unharmed as if by miracle. Only those with Luck at a rank equal or greater then this Noble Phantasm stand a chance of actually killing Lancer in a straight fight, or else by putting him in a scenario where the chances of survival approach zero.
However, it only insures Lancer to 'survive', not necessarily to 'win'. Losing a battle while remaining alive is perfectly acceptable insofar as this Noble Phantasm is concerned. Against foes with great martial prowess, even this Noble Phantasm's blessing of longevity may not be enough for Lancer to attain victory. Being essentially the power to 'absolutely survive', it will clash with similar concepts such as 'to obtain victory in every battle', resulting in an outcome where the opponent 'wins' but dies where Lancer himself 'loses' but remains alive.
However, if the firewood itself is ever burnt or otherwise destroyed, then inescapable magical flames will engulf Lancer's body, incinerating him to ash in a matter of moments. There is no way to stop the flames and nothing that can halt Lancer's demise once the firewood has been destroyed, for it is simply 'fate'.
It goes without saying that Lancer is extremely cautious to keep both the existence of this Noble Phantasm as well as its tangible form concealed from his enemies. To those unknowing of this Noble Phantasm's true nature, it will seem as if Lancer is merely unaturally lucky in battle, which is just how he wants to keep it.
Apergía Atalánta- First Blood Of The Huntress (B+, Anti-Unit): In the Calydonian Boar Hunt arranged by Lancer, it was the huntress Atalanta who drew first blood from the monstrous beast, weakening it enough for Lancer to deal the final blow. Crystallizing this event, Lancer may call upon the aid of his beloved huntress once more as a Heroic Spirit.
Invoking the Noble Phantasm's name, his spear becomes enveloped with iridescent green-gold fires (much like the hair of a certain huntress) as he rushes towards the foe and performs a powerful slashing strike. The slash cripples any target that it successfully cuts.
Their Mana begins seeping out from the wound at a gradual pace, weakening them over time while they suffer an immediate rank-down to all physical parameters. Just like how Atalanta weakened the Calydonian Boar for Lancer to kill, so too does this Noble Phantasm deprive Lancer's enemies to make it easier to finish them off. Foes of the 'Monstrous' alignment will receive a greater penalty, two ranks-down to physical parameters and their Mana leaking out at an increased pace.
The effects of this Noble Phantasm last indefinitely so long as the wound remains. Unlike certain other weapons, it is not unhealable and sufficiently powerful forms of healing Magecraft will allow one to recover from it. As it represents the concept of 'first blood', this Noble Phantasm can only be invoked so long as Lancer has not drawn the opponent's blood with his spear prior in the same battle.
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Another guy who I'd read about in Percy Jackson's Greek Heroes (you can probably somewhat tell how fast I'm moving through the book by the characters I'm writing up LOL). His first NP was a bit of a similar idea to the Portrait I gave Dorian Grey but I went with a different interpretation 'not dying as long as its intact' (Luck increases rather then injury redirection). As always, be sure to drop by with comments and criticisms! Thanks.
Last edited by RoydGolden; October 29th, 2016 at 12:20 AM.
Update: Added an extra sentence to Meleager's second NP clarifying that he can only use it if he's yet to have claimed first blood in that battle. I intended to include that to begin with but I forgot at some point while actually writing up the profile. Since its title is 'First Blood Of The Huntress' and all, it'd be kind of odd if he could use it otherwise.
I'd still appreciate feedback, by the way.
Last edited by RoydGolden; August 31st, 2016 at 03:07 PM.