Lawrence, Chekhov, and Timur.
Or at least I think those fit the narrative the best and didn't objectively suck.
Lawrence, Chekhov, and Timur.
Or at least I think those fit the narrative the best and didn't objectively suck.
Made some adjustments to mysheet thanks to some advice I received. I´m too lazy to post all the changes, so I´m just gonna put a general update log (click on the quote above to go to the sheet).Spoiler:
- Changed his class from Rider to Saber (I will due something else related to this later);
- Changed class skill accordingly and gave him a low ranking divinity;
- Completely revamped his Noble Phantasms;
- Divided the "Lore and Personality" pages into 2;
- Added a "Tactics" page.
Thanks for the advice.
Last edited by Gallereon; December 30th, 2016 at 04:02 PM.
My One True Waifu
That moment when you´re being shipped on the internet
Not working for me, so I looked through your post history and found it. Hope that isn't too creepy. In other news, I have a massive headache and am having a hard time concentrating, so take my notes with a grain of salt.
In any case, my notes: Divinity isn't a class skill. Protection from Faith and Innocent Monster effect seem kinda similar, you could probably scratch IM and just add some of it into PfF. New Noble Phantasms are p cool, though the mist seems a bit strong (100 attacks per sec is a lot, esp since it has another effect.) New lore personality and tactics sections are nice.
Yeah, the divinity thing was my mistake, I will change it.
I made Innocent Monster and Protection from Faith kinda similar on purpose, since its the combination of these skills that made him so mentally unstable, but I see what you mean. I´m not going to scrap IM for now, but I going to try and make it more explicit that IM is affecting the body and PfF is affecting the mind.
The NP thing is my mistake, I not going to change it, but I´m going to put more emphasis on its cost and the fact that since Saber is not that skilled there´s a high change that a good amount of the blows will miss or be defended when fighting foes more agile and more skilled than him.
Last edited by Gallereon; December 30th, 2016 at 05:00 PM.
My One True Waifu
That moment when you´re being shipped on the internet
Forgot to comment on St. Sebastian the first time around, but he's pretty cool. Very creative NPs and the concept behind his character is quite interesting overall. The idea of a great king that's been distorted by people's wishes for him into a pseudo-divine figure obsessed with 'salvation' reminds me a bit of the approach I went with for my own Justinian Alter Servant.
My One True Waifu
That moment when you´re being shipped on the internet
None, because they are all trash.
If I had to, I'd go with Aífe as the angrier, wilder, more masculine version of Scáthach trying to be her own person and not just a clone.
And I now just realized I subconsciously made her the same as Sechs is to Gally in Gunnm. Without the later sex change.
Cause I'm lazy,
Sechs (German for "six") is one of the TUNED AR Series 2 combat androids. Formerly AR-6 and known in Japan as GR-6, she was created by the Ground Investigation Bureau (G.I.B.) to replace Alita (Gally, GR-1) as a TUNED agent. After the collapse of the G.I.B., AR-6 went on to challenge and kill all of her "sisters" save for Elf (AR-11 / GR-11) and Zwölf (AR-12 / GR-12) in an attempt to establish her own identity, changing her name to Sechs.
Unlike her sister unit AR-2, she is noteworthy in that she does not wish to replace Alita, but believes that in defeating her she earns the right to exist as herself.
Last edited by Historia; December 30th, 2016 at 06:52 PM.
Probably my self-indulgent Kuchisake-otoko; I like the idea of it of an -onna he creates being mistaken as the actual Assassin until halfway through the story.
Though I don't have that many sheets to my name I'd probably want Chernabog to be my choice
My Servant Comepndium
Make Middle-Earth great again!
Wen Shi. So we can get more info about dragons and DRAGONS.
Last edited by Funderfullness; December 30th, 2016 at 10:50 PM.
"We don't need martyrs right now. We need heroes. A hero would die for his country, but he'd much rather live for it." -Josiah Bartlet
List of Servants I've made
I have read through this thread a bit and decide I wanted to try creating a servant myself. I'm not the best at nasuverse lore or grammar. I'm very new to this site and because this is my first servant I'm sure It isn't very good but I decided to publish this anyways.
-----------------------------
Servant: Assassin
Other Classes: Lancer, Berserker
True Name: Cronus
Alignment: Lawful Evil (Neutral)
Place of Origin: Ancient Greece
Strength: A-
Endurance: A
Agility: B
Mana: C
Luck: B-
NP: A+++
Lore:
Spoiler:
Personality:
Spoiler:
Height/Weight: varies
Likes: Humanity, simple things
Dislikes: Unfairness of reality
Talent: God slaying, ruling, his duties as a counter guardian
Natural Enemy: The Greek Gods, His Father
Class Skills:
Presence concealment (D)
The capacity to hide one's presence as a Servant. At this rank it is Suitable for spying.
Personal Skills:
Divinity: (D)
The measure of whether one has Divine Spirit aptitude or not. Because Cronus is hated by the gods and has been put into the body of a human the rank has dropped considerably.
Charisma over the Divine: B+
The natural talent to be able to rule over divine spirits. This skill works similar to the normal Charisma skill except its power increases relative to ones divinity. With servants of high divinity this skill getting an increase as if the skills rank was A and may increase the effect of their own divinity skill. Cronus overthrew his father and rose to become king of the gods who ruled during the golden age of humanity which gives an extra rank up to servants with the human trait raising the skill from B to B+.
Devourer of Spirits A+
The ability to consume beings all the way up to the rank of a divine spirit. Upon consuming a spirit Cronus is able to gain mana, knowledge, and sometimes abilities from the consumed. Because of his nature whatever spirit Cronus consumes will rest at the bottom of his stomach until he is made to throw up whatever it was he consumed, losing whatever benefits he gained.
Father Time: A+
The ability to have control over the flow of time. A skill that works similar to Kiritsugu’s Time Manipulation. Using this skill Cronus can speed up his own flow of time and slow down the flow of time for others. The skills can give him brief access to Clairvoyance (EX) giving him sight into both the past and future. It also lowers the chance of something such as Time Modification succeeding. If able to grab hold of an enemies head Cronus can have direct control over their perception of time which can be considered fatal. Those with skills such as Mental Fortification will have resistance to this skill. Cronus has this skill due to misconceptions of him being Father Time (Chronos).
Noble Phantasms:
Spoiler:
Last edited by GilgameshKingOfMemes; December 30th, 2016 at 11:03 PM.
Titans probably can't be Servants.
I'd also be concerned why he doesn't have Harpe but I guess that's why he's Assassin.
If there was like, an Ubers tier for Servants it could work. Otherwise too OP Divine Spirit yadda yadda
Lastly his Marble is absolutely a Marble from that description. Call a spade a spade.