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Thread: Create-a-Servant

  1. #9361
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six Arha's Avatar
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    Isn't Lugh a full god? I don't think he would be summonable. I'm surprised he lacks Fragarach.

  2. #9362
    O Beast of CaerbannogAAAAARRGH!!? castor212's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Arha View Post
    Isn't Lugh a full god? I don't think he would be summonable. I'm surprised he lacks Fragarach.
    I have the reason for all of this in the design sheet (more complete in the background sheet). At the very least, he's more eligible to be summoned than / as eligible to be summoned as Chiron.

    Basically, Tuatha de Danann were normal people at the beginning. In the city of Falias, Gorias, Murias and Finias, they were instructed in the magic arts, embracing druidry (druidecht), knowledge (fis), prophecy (faitsine) and skill in magic (amainsecht) which got passed through the bloodline. Their skill might as good as semi-divine, but they were venerated as gods only after their legend and mythology spread.
    Last edited by castor212; September 8th, 2014 at 02:23 AM.
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    Currently (like, actually) finishing Apocrypha 3

  3. #9363
    Alright, I haven't been here in a while with classes and everything, but I've finally gone back to working on my project. I've done some changes to my servants, plus added a new Lancer. I'll post the rest in the Modern Fiction Servants thread.

    Lancer Portrait
    Lancer
    Class: Lancer
    Master: Karkat Vantas
    True Name: Celtchar mac Uthechar
    Alignment: Chaotic Good


    Details
    Celtchar was a grey, tall hero of Ulster. Together with Conchobar mac Nessa, he rescued the eight Ulster women kidnapped by the men of Queen Maev and her husband Ailill mac Máta. He murdered Blaí Briugu for forcing himself upon Celtchar’s wife, and for that he had to perform three tasks for the land of Ulster. He killed the vengeful Conganchnes mac Dedad and slayed the monstrous hound Luch Donn. In his final task he had to hunt down his own dog, Dóelchú, which had gone mad and terrorized the people of Ulster. The dog offered no resistance to his master, but when Celtchar reluctantly made an end of it, its poisonous blood ran down his spear and killed him.


    Parameters
    Strength: B
    Endurance: B
    Agility: A
    Prana: D
    Luck: E
    Noble Phantasm: B


    Class Skills
    Magic Resistance: B


    Personal Skills
    Bravery: A (The ability to negate mental interference such as pressure, confusion and fascination.)


    Noble Phantasm
    Lúin of Celtchar
    Type: Anti-Unit
    Rank: B
    Range: 1-100
    Targets: 1-9
    The Lúin is a long, heavy, flaming spear, used by many heroes in Irish legends but originally belonging to Celtchar. Its head must remain dipped in a large cauldron of poison prepared with the blood of cats, dogs and druids, and must be quenched in it constantly so that the flames don't engulf the wielder. The spear is almost sentient. It twitches and shivers in its owner's hand anxious for slaughter. When thrown, it flies by its own will and strikes up to nine different enemies before returning to its owner.

    Archer Portrait

    Archer
    Class: ArcherMaster: Equius Zahhak
    True Name: Heracles
    Alignment: Chaotic Good


    Details
    A demigod hero of Greek Mythology, he was born between the King of Gods Zeus and a human girl. He received the violent hatred of Zeus' wife Hera because of his origins and was tormented by the goddess at every turn. However, he entirely overcame the difficulties he had been given, and was enshrined as a god in the end.
    Heracles had an extremely violent temperament as an infant, and grew up as a shepherd in order to obtain a gentle heart. Having grown into a fine adult, Heracles was recognized for several feats, and gained two children as well as the right of succession to the throne. However, Hera made Heracles go temporarily insane and he killed his wife and children, ending up in the role of a slave to the king to atone for his sins. Here the jealous king gave him a challenge, the famous Twelve Labors. The Labors were all things that a human could not achieve but Heracles completed them safely, and at the same time he was freed from slavery, he received an immortal body.
    However, the adventures of Heracles and Hera's hatred did not end there. Hera's numerous artifices resulted in Heracles' poisoning by his own wife from his second marriage. In his final moments, Heracles cremated himself, surrendering to Zeus's judgment. The gods after consulting recognize Heracles' feats, and he was recruited as a god like his father, becoming a constellation.


    Parameters
    Strength: A
    Endurance: B
    Agility: B
    Prana: C
    Luck: D
    Noble Phantasm: B


    Class Skills
    Independent Action: A
    Magic Resistance: D


    Personal Skills
    Battle Continuation: A (Makes possible to fight even with deadly injuries and can remain alive so long as one does not receive a decisive fatal wound.)
    Eye of the Mind (False): B (A danger avoidance ability based on Intuition/Sixth Sense, gained through many ordeals and adventures.)
    Bravery: A+ (The ability to negate mental interference such as pressure, confusion and fascination. It additionally grants increased melee damage.)
    Divinity: A (Hercules was initially a demigod and became a god after his death.)


    Noble Phantasm
    God Hand: Twelve Labors
    Rank: B
    Type: Anti-Unit
    Range: -
    Maximum Targets:
    A blessing of Gods, as well as a curse. It is a Noble Phantasm given to Heracles, representing immortality. This Noble Phantasm does not have an overt external manifestation such as a weapon or armor, but if you hazard to put a shape to it, the body itself can be called the Noble Phantasm. God Hand turns one’s body into a tough suit of armor and nullifies all attacks Rank B or lower, regardless the attack being physical or magical. It also has the effect of automatic resurrection after death. Because the resurrection effect has 11 uses, Heracles cannot perish unless killed 12 times. Regardless how powerful is the Noble Phantasm that defeated Heracles, it would be completely nullified after he resurrects
    Nine Lives: The Shooting Hundred Heads
    Rank: B
    Type: Anti-Unit (Oneself)
    Range: N/A
    Targets: N/A
    Among Hercules’ Noble Phantasms, he trusted this one the most. It was the Noble Phantasm which Hercules used to slay the immortal nine-headed serpent Hydra once upon a time, taking the form of bow and arrow. After killing the Hydra, Hercules could even utilize techniques that emulate the ability of this Noble Phantasm when wielding other weapons. In essence, it is a high speed attack consisting of nine consecutive strikes, as swift as if the attacks are overlapping. Even when delivered via sword, spear, or axe, this technique still boasts power on the level of Noble Phantasms.

    Caster Portrait
    Caster
    Class: Caster
    Master: Eridan Ampora
    True Name: King Solomon
    Alignment: Lawful Neutral


    Details
    Solomon is the son of David and King of Israel. Upon asked by Yahweh for which gift he wanted bestowed upon him, he simple replied that he desired wisdom above else. Because of this, he was also granted riches and a glorious realm, which extended to the world inhabited by angels, and to all the beasts of the Earth. He was also granted authority over spirits and demons, and knowledge of the Divine Mysteries. During his later years as a king he began exploring the mystical world, practicing magecraft and dealing with demons and pagan gods. Yahweh did not punish him for this, however, but instead caused the collapse of his kingdom after his natural death at the age of eighty.


    Parameters
    Strength: E
    Endurance: E
    Agility: E
    Prana: A
    Luck: A
    Noble Phantasm: A++


    Class Skills
    Territory Creation: EX
    Item Construction: A

    Personal Skills
    Animal Dialogue: A+ (Common beasts understand his wishes without need for words.)
    Charisma: B (The wisdom granted by Yahweh allowed him to win the hearts of his people.)
    Golden Rule: A (King Solomon never has any difficulty in acquiring riches.)
    High-Speed Divine Words: A (King Solomon was one of the first mystics of the Age of Gods.)


    Noble Phantasm
    Seal of Solomon
    Rank: A++
    Type: Anti-Spirit
    Range: N/A
    Targets: N/A
    The ring given to Solomon by Yahweh. It grants him absolute authority over all Spirits, except for Divine Spirits and Heroic Spirits.
    First Temple
    Rank: EX
    Type: Anti-World
    Range: N/A
    Targets: N/A
    The idealized temple-palace of King Solomon. It requires seven days to be completed and must be built on the sacred soil of Jerusalem. It serves as magical terrain superior to a Temple. Within the walls of the First Temple all of Solomon's parameters are increased, as well as his High-Speed Divine Words skill. While within the Holy of Holies, the central chamber of the temple, Solomon is supplied with unlimited prana. This allows him to exist within this chamber even without sustenance from his Master.


    Assassin Portrait

    Assassin
    Class: Assassin
    Master: Rose Lalonde
    True Name: Hassan-i Sabbah
    Alignment: Lawful Neutral


    Details
    Hassan-i-Sabah, the Persian "Old Man of the Mountain" led an assassination organization originating in the Middle East. While he was a legendary leader who became the origin of the word Assassin, there were nineteen different people who took up the position of Hassan-i-Sabah over many years. There is a new one born each time someone takes up the position, and Assassin is one of those nineteen. As with the others, her true name and face before becoming an assassin and a Hassan is still lost.


    Parameters
    Strength: C
    Endurance: C
    Agility: A
    Prana: D
    Luck: B
    Noble Phantasm: C


    Class Skills
    Presence Concealment: A+


    Personal Skills
    Self-Modification: B (She has replaced her blood with a mixture of toxic substances.)
    Venomous Physiology: A (She is immune to all poisons and toxins.)
    Projectile (Darts): B (She carries hollow steel darts filled with her blood.)
    Item Creation: C (She can create a variety of poisons, gasses and tools suitable for her profession.)


    Noble Phantasm
    Zabaniya: Ichor of Agony
    Rank: C
    Type: Anti-Unit (Oneself)
    Range: N/A
    Targets: N/A
    Hassan's blood has been replaced with a mixture of poisons, mainly based of the multiple varieties of hemlock plant. At will, she can change the properties of this poison to either cause lethargy or spasmic seizures in its victims, and alter the intensity of these reactions via variations in the flow of prana. This can be done in different manner to multiple individual targets at once. The intensity of the poison is limited by the amount of it that has entered the victim's body.
    Last edited by machiavellianFictionist; September 9th, 2014 at 04:11 PM.

  4. #9364
    鬼 Ogre-like You's Avatar
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    You got all the Class Skills wrong except for Archer.
    And Herc loses God Hand when he's not a Berserker.

  5. #9365
    Quote Originally Posted by You View Post
    You got all the Class Skills wrong except for Archer.
    And Herc loses God Hand when he's not a Berserker.
    I'm just laughing right now because I was told the exact opposite thing about Herc when I posted him without God Hand a few months ago. Also, could you please elaborate on the Class Skills thing?
    Last edited by machiavellianFictionist; September 9th, 2014 at 03:46 PM.

  6. #9366
    鬼 Ogre-like You's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by machiavellianFictionist View Post
    I'm just laughing right now because I was told the exact opposite thing about Herc when I posted him without God Hand a few months ago. Also, could you please elaborate on the Class Skills thing?
    - Q. ヘラクレスは狂化していなくてもあんなにでかいんですか?
    A. でかいデース! ただし、腕の部分の突起とかはなくなります。筋肉はややソフトになり、顔つき も今よりは人 間味がでるのではと。
    Q. Would Heracles still be so huge even if he wasn't Mad Enhanced?
    A. He'd still be huuuge! However, the stuff like the projections on his arms wouldn't be there. His muscles would become a little softer, and his face would show more humanity than it does now.
    十二の試練【宝具、呪い】
    ゴッドハンド。
    神の祝福(呪い)によって得た不死性。
    自身の肉体を屈強な鎧と化し、ランクB以下の攻撃を全て無効化 する。
    加えて、死亡しても自動的に蘇生(レイズ)がかかるオマケっき。
    蘇生のストック数は十一回。
    ……となると、パーサーカーの体が鉛色だったり肘とか変形していたりするのはゴットハンドのせい な のかしら !?
    まー、格闘ゲームでいうならスーパーコンボ以外の攻撃はぜんぶスーパーアIマー+ノーダメージ つつー デタラメ宝具。
    Twelve Labors (Noble Phantasm, Curse)
    God Hand.
    Immortality obtained from a blessing (curse) of the gods.
    The body is transformed into strong armor, and all attacks of rank B and below are nullified.
    Additionally, there is the extra effect where revival (Raise) is automatically cast upon death.
    There is a stock of eleven revivals.
    ...by the way, could it be that God Hand is the reason Berserker's body turned leaden and his elbows transformed!?
    Well, putting it in terms of a fighting game, it's a ridiculous Noble Phantasm that applies Super Armor + No Damage to every attack outside of Super Combos.
    http://forums.nrvnqsr.com/showthread...l=1#post750275
    If I were you I'd read this page for more debate about the topic.

    http://forums.nrvnqsr.com/showthread...l=1#post750257

    as well.

    Either way the results are mixed. So I was a little too hasty to say no he doesn't have God Hand as Archer.

    For Class Skills.

    Saber: MR, Riding
    Archer: MR, IA
    Lancer: MR
    Rider: Riding, MR
    Caster: Item creation, territory creation
    Berserker: Mad Enhancement
    Assassin: PC

    No mixing and matching. You can gain other classes Class skills as a personal skill. Eg Medusa.

  7. #9367
    Quote Originally Posted by You View Post
    (...) For Class Skills.

    Saber: MR, Riding
    Archer: MR, IA
    Lancer: MR
    Rider: Riding, MR
    Caster: Item creation, territory creation
    Berserker: Mad Enhancement
    Assassin: PC

    No mixing and matching. You can gain other classes Class skills as a personal skill. Eg Medusa.
    Well, if it's not a certainthing I'd rather have him keep the God Hand. There's a lot of overpowered shit the other guys can throw at him and I'd like him and his Master to remain in the War for a while. Also, I don't think there's any precedend of Mad Ehancement adding a Noble Phantasm to a Servant, only of unabling their use.

    On the Class Skill thing, I'll fix it right away. I thought I had precedent on Assassin of Red, but then I remembered the Double Summon was what allowed her to have Item Creation.

  8. #9368
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six Imperial's Avatar
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    The Berserker from the Fate/Prototype prequel has Presence Concealment, though the narration points out how atypical it is.

    Grail War "rules" are more guidelines than anything else with how often they are horribly broken.

  9. #9369
    Is Fate/Prototype canon?

  10. #9370
    Totally not a Saber clone Knick's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Arashi_Leonhart View Post
    Are you swearing by the root or are you just happy to see me?

  11. #9371
    I? I am Ardneh. Funderfullness's Avatar
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    Appearance

    "Amidst the tens of thousands of names of monarchs that crowd the columns of history, their majesties and graciousnesses and
    serenities and royal highnesses and the like, the name of Asoka shines, and shines, almost alone, a star." - H.G. Wells

    Class: Rider
    Identity: Ashoka Maurya, also known as Ashoka the Great of India
    Equipment: Sword, armor and chariot pulled by two warhorses

    STR: B
    END: B
    AGI: D
    MGI: C
    LCK: C

    Class Skills

    Riding (A): Can use all creatures as mounts, barring Phantasmal and Divine Beasts.

    Magic Resistance (C+): Cancels spells that are two verses or shorter, and even then higher level spells have difficulty affecting him.

    Personal Skills


    Protection of the Faith (A): Referred to as "Beloved of the Gods", Rider gains a large bonus to defenses against attacks ranked A or below and his attacks gain the "holy" attribute.
    This skill is active as long as Rider does not engage in offensive actions that result in violence. When he does, this skill is sealed and replaced by Innocent Monster.
    However, this skill remains active if Rider commits violence against those whose aim is to specifically oppose or undermine Buddhist teachings.

    Innocent Monster (B+): In order to dramatize his change after his conversion to Buddhism, accounts of his temper and sadism were exaggerated.
    This skill becomes active when Protection of the Faith is sealed. In exchange for a reduction to his Charisma, Rider's attacks gain the "fire" attribute.
    Depending on the circumstances that caused Protection of the Faith to be sealed, Rider may also gain a low rank in Madness Enhancement or Mental Pollution.

    Charisma (B-): Suitable for a king of a country. Despite his early brutality, Rider is remembered as a father to the nation of India.

    Military Tactics (B): Grants tactical knowledge for engagements involving armies. Also grants bonus modifiers to attacking
    with Anti-Army Noble Phantasms and defending against enemy Anti-Army Noble Phantasms.


    Noble Phantasms
    Spoiler:



    Pillars of Ashoka: The Gods' Favor For All To See (C, Support)

    These 40 foot tall pillars were erected throughout India and enscribed with edicts proclaiming Rider's right to rule.
    Rider can recreate these obelisks by tapping into leylines or by supplying his own prana.
    In an area surrounded by at least three pillars, Rider gains a rank in Demonic Defender of the State proportional to
    the number of pillars surrounding the area, enhancing his attack and defensive power. The pillars are made of sturdy stone,
    but any attack that can overcome Rider's Magic Resistance (minus any modifiers) can destroy them without much difficulty.

    Spoiler:



    Ashoka Chakra: He Whose Chariot Rolls Everywhere Without Obstruction (B (E*), Anti-Mind)

    The image of the wheel of Dharma decorated many a structure built by Ashoka and symbolizing his embracing of Buddhist teachings.
    This motif cements his fame and position as ruler as long as it is depicted on one of his possessions, such as the wheels of his chariot or engraved on his other Noble Phantasms.
    The Chakra grants Rider the power to force the concepts it represents into the mind of his opponent.
    The effects are varied, but essentially it forces phantom sensations of extreme pain and pleasure on the target, based on what the spokes of the Chakra represent.
    Whether they feel extreme thirst, the entwinement of intercourse, the pain of childbirth or otherwise,
    the sensations are sure to overload the minds and bodies of those without the highest degree of discipline.
    This Noble Phantasm's effectiveness is reduced significantly if Protection of the Faith is sealed, but is still an excellent tool for temporarily stunning enemies.


    Spoiler:



    Lion Capital: No One Shall Cause A Division (A+, Anti-Unit, Anti-Army)

    Ashoka's most famous pillar takes the form of his ultimate weapon: a mace carved with four lions standing back to back,
    with a base that depicts an elephant, a bull, a horse and a lion. In addition to providing a boost to STR, the images of the animals on
    the handle can be fed with prana in order to conjure a life-sized stone version of them. Generally only one can be summoned at a time due to the large
    prana cost, but proper use of the Pillars can mitigate this significantly and allow all four to exist at once.
    The beasts are made of the same sandstone as the Pillars and thus possess a rank in Magic Resistance equal to Rider's, minus any modifiers.
    As an extension of the mace, their attacks gain any attributes assigned to Rider's attacks, such as "holy" or "fire".


    My descriptions tend not to be very wordy, but I hope he's not too over or under-powered (difficult to tell with Indian Servants).
    Last edited by Funderfullness; September 11th, 2014 at 11:18 PM.
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  12. #9372
    I? I am Ardneh. Funderfullness's Avatar
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    Class:
    Saber
    Identity: Tamar of Georgia, Queen of Kings

    STR: B
    END: C
    AGI: D
    MGI: D
    LCK: C

    Class Skills

    Magic Resistance (C): Cancels spells shorter than two verses. Can still be affected by High Thaumaturgy and Greater Rituals.

    Riding (D): Most mounts and vehicles can be ridden with average skill, but Phantasmal and Divine Beasts are far beyond her ability.


    Personal Skills

    Charisma (B): Suitable for a leader of a country. Saber is considered the leader of Georgia's Golden Age.

    Persuasive Orator (C): The ability to sway others with non-magical compulsion. Has a chance to command others of lower station provided she can succeed on a contested LCK check.

    Divinity (D-): Saber claims to be a distant descendant of King David of Israel, who is an ancestor of Jesus Christ. However, due to there being no true evidence of this, the claim is tenuous at best.

    Saint (B): Saber is a saint of the Orthodox Church, and as such receives a boost to her Charisma and Divinity as well as some protection against magecraft and Noble Phantasms that do not share an origin in Orthodoxy.


    Noble Phantasms

    Georgi: Royal Sword That Cuts Through Dissension(Anti-Unit, C)

    This blade was presented to Saber at her girdling ceremony when her father announced her as his successor and serves as her badge of office.
    Though decorative in nature, it shares the same concept as swords like Caliburn and Merodach in that it "bestows the crown".
    Furthermore, upon recieving the sword she vowed to protect her family line and their claim to the throne.
    Thus, the sword gains a Rank-up against those who would deny Saber's "crown", such as those who do not show her the proper
    respect due to someone of her station, whether through insults or ignorance. Attacks against them ignore defenses ranked B or lower.
    It is this boon that would allow the sword to become equal in power to Caliburn and its ilk, despite the difference in age.


    Holy Synod: Negotiations Will Not Fail (Anti-Unit, B+)

    This scepter is Saber's second badge of office and represents the methods by which Saber secured her throne. By identifying the dissenters within her
    court, she sent negotiators to speak with them. The true purpose of these talks was to keep the traitors distracted long enough to allow Tamar's knights
    to surround them and arrest them. She then stripped them of their power and replaced them with those loyal to her.
    When Saber holds the scepter in her hand and starts to speak with someone, her ranks in Charisma and Persuasive Orator increase exponentially,
    to the point where the opponent is engaged totally in conversation with Saber. After several minutes, they will be so enraptured by the
    civilized rhetoric to the exclusion of all else that Saber's walking towards them and beheading them with her sword is but a formality.
    Those with protection against mental interference or ranks in Charisma will not be affected at first, but will be overwhelmed if Saber is allowed to keep
    speaking and succeed at a contested check each time her skills ranks rise. Therefore, the only way to completely stop this Noble Phantasm is to not allow Saber to speak.


    You've all heard of women being kings, well now I present the Queen of Kings. I can only imagine what the Grail Dialogue would have been like had she been there.
    Also, I should give credit to Vagrant for Persuasive Orator because it was on one of his Servant profiles (Helgi Hjorvardsson) that I first saw it.

    Last edited by Funderfullness; September 15th, 2014 at 04:51 PM.
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  13. #9373
    O Beast of CaerbannogAAAAARRGH!!? castor212's Avatar
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    Is Georgi, in effect, simply a very2 good sword when the boon is activated?

    I mean, C+ is more than A rank already.
    Last edited by castor212; September 14th, 2014 at 07:17 AM.
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  14. #9374
    I? I am Ardneh. Funderfullness's Avatar
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    Basically. Would it make more sense for it to be ranked C-? Or just C and the boon grants a rank-up?
    "We don't need martyrs right now. We need heroes. A hero would die for his country, but he'd much rather live for it." -Josiah Bartlet

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  15. #9375
    O Beast of CaerbannogAAAAARRGH!!? castor212's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Funderfullness View Post
    Or just C and the boon grants a rank-up?
    I personally think this is good. Maybe make the boon a rank up to B and making it a super sharp sword capable of denying defense below rank B (because screw you, disloyal subject).

    But it you want it to be simply a "very good sword", then I think C- is more appropriate.
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  16. #9376
    I? I am Ardneh. Funderfullness's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by castor212 View Post
    I personally think this is good. Maybe make the boon a rank up to B and making it a super sharp sword capable of denying defense below rank B (because screw you, disloyal subject).

    I like this better. I just didn't word it right the first time.
    "We don't need martyrs right now. We need heroes. A hero would die for his country, but he'd much rather live for it." -Josiah Bartlet

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  17. #9377
    O Beast of CaerbannogAAAAARRGH!!? castor212's Avatar
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    Personal Information:

    Class Name : Lancer
    True Name : Peleus
    Sex :
    Male
    Alignment : Neutrall Good
    Height / Weight : 171cm/72kg
    Also known as : Wielder of Duality, Warrior of Balance, Father of Achilles, Husband of the Sea Goddess



    Background:
    Spoiler:
    Peleus was a hero whose myth was already known in the Homer. He married the sea-nymph Thetis with whom he fathered Achilles. Peleus were friend of Heracles, and most of his notable deeds were serving in Heracles' expedition against the Amazons, his war against King Laomedon, and his quest for the Golden Fleece.

    He was the son of Aeacus, king of the island of Aegina, and Endeis, the oread of Mount Pelion in Thessaly. He is also brother to Telamon, making him the uncle of both Ajax and Teucer.

    During his youth and life, his was certainly a complicated and romantic one. In his youth, Peleus and his brother Telamon killed their half-brother Phocus in a hunting accident and certainly in an unthinking moment, but not completely without the intention to do so. His father Aeacus favored Phocus over Peleus and Telamon; Phocus was characterized as a strong athlete, whose athletic ability caused his half-brothers to grow jealous. Their jealousy drove them to murder him during sport hunting; in a rash moment, Telamon, the stronger half-brother, threw a discus really close at Phocus' head, but his aim was a bit too good and instead killing him.

    The brothers hid the corpse in a thicket, but Aeacus discovered the body and proceed with punishing them. In order to avoid their father's wrath, both Peleus and Telamon fled Aegina. Telamon fled to Salamis, where he became king after Cychreus, the reigning king, died without an heir, while Peleus fled to Phthia, where he was purified by the Phthian King Eurytion for the act of murder.

    During his time in Phthia, Peleus married Antigone, Eurytion's daughter, by whom he had a daughter, Polydora. At first it seemed that his fate was turning to a better direction, but alas, the fate of a hero is never an easy nor a happy one. During his time with the king, he went together with him in a hunt against the Calydonian Boar. During the hunt, Peleus accidentally killed his host Eurytion by running a javelin through him. Once again, he was forced to to fled from the country, this time leaving even his wife Antigone.

    The second country he fled to is Iolcus. There, he was purified for his murder of Eurytion by Acastus, the king of Iolcus. In his time there, Astydameia, Acastus' wife, fell in love with Peleus, but Peleus scorned her for that, as he still loved Antigone. Bitter, she sent a messenger to Antigone containing a lie that Peleus was to marry Acastus' daughter. Devastated after her father's death and her husband, the murderer, leaving her, Antigone hanged herself.

    Astydameia then went further with her revenge against Peleus; she then told Acastus that Peleus had tried to rape her. Raged but still calm, Acastus did not try anything to Peleus openly; instead he took Peleus on a hunting trip and hid his sword then abandoned him right before a group of centaurs attacked. Luckily for him, between the centaurs was Chiron, the wisest of centaurs. He returned Peleus' sword and Peleus managed to escape.

    When he found out about what have happened and Antigone's fate, Peleus was blinded with rage. He had enough of being played in his life. In his wrath, together With Jason and the Dioscuri he pillaged Iolcus and dismembered Astydameia, then marched his army between the rended limbs. Acastus and Astydamia were dead and the kingdom fell to Jason's son, Thessalus.

    After his revenge, Peleus wandered around Greece, not knowing what to do with his life. During his journey, he encountered and immediately fell in love with the beautiful sea nymph named Thetis, one of the fifty Nereids, daughters of the ancient sea god Nereus. Both Zeus and Poseidon had been rivals for her love, but when it was prophesied that the son born to Thetis would be mightier than his father, like Zeus had dethroned his father to lead the succeeding pantheon, they lost interest in courting her; instead, in order to ensure a mortal father for her eventual offspring, Zeus and his brother Poseidon made arrangements for her to marry a human, Peleus. Both of them was interefered by the gods to meet with each other.

    Proteus, an early sea-god, advised Peleus to find the sea nymph when she was asleep and bind her tightly to keep her from escaping by changing forms. She did shift shapes, becoming flame, water, a raging lioness, and a serpent. Peleus held fast. Subdued, Thetis was so impressed that a mere mortal had feelings for her strong enough that he could pin her down, then consented to marry him.

    The wedding of Thetis and Peleus was celebrated on Mount Pelion, outside the cave of Chiron, and attended by the Olympians: there they celebrated the marriage with feasting. Apollo played the lyre and the Muses sang, Pindar claimed. At the wedding presented the King with a stout, ash-colored staff that he found at the top of Mt. Pelion. Athena then gave the staff a polished form and Hephaestus furnished it with a spearhead. Poseidon gave him the immortal horses, Balius and Xanthus. Eris, the goddess of discord, had not been invited, however. In spite, she threw a golden apple into the midst of the goddesses that was to be awarded only "to the fairest." In most interpretations, the award was made during the Judgement of Paris and eventually occasioned the Trojan War.

    When their son, Achilles, was born, Thetis attempted to render him invulnerable. She dipped him in the River Styx, holding him by one heel, which remained vulnerable. For his part, Peleus gave Achilles to the centaur Chiron, to be raised and trained on Mount Pelion, so he would be the greatest hero of all. Prophecy said that the son of Thetis and Peleus would have either a long but dull life, or a glorious but brief life.

    His marriage with Thetis and the blessing in the form of his son seemed to finally a happy ending for Peleus; but even in the end, it was a tragic event. Being immortal, Thetis went back to live with her old father Nereus and her sister sea-nymphs in the depths of the sea, leaving out a miserable and solitary old age back on the Greek mainland. His son died in Trojan war. When Achilles was killed by Paris, Thetis came from the sea with the Nereids to mourn him, and she collected his ashes in a golden urn, raised a monument to his memory, and instituted commemorative festivals.

    Peleus was briefly reunited with his wife, and in his old age burdened with grief and hardships, he died in the embrace of the sea goddess.

    In the Holy Grail War, he was summoned as Lancer. With a personality of a patient husband and his calm disposition, he does not particularly excel in battlefield and prefers to win through tactical advantage. Though his life is particulary tragic, he has no wish to change it using the Holy Grail, because all of them lead him to his meeting with Thetis. His wish for the Holy Grail is a simple one; to meet with his immortal wife once again.

    His Master is a woman magus in her thirties; both of them was aptly perceived and described by others as "an old couple arguing", with the Master fiery temper and Lancer's own patient personality.



    Parameters:


    Strength : C
    Endurance : C+
    Agility : B
    Prana : C
    Luck : D
    Noble Phantasm : B



    Class Skill:

    Magic Resistance : B
    Grants protection against magical effects. Cancel spells with a chant below three verses. Even if targeted by High-Thaumaturgy and Greater Rituals, it is difficult for him to be affected.



    Personal Skill:

    Divinity : C
    Strength of one's godlike nature. The more godlike blood one possessed, the higher this stat becomes.
    He has many kind of divine blood mixed within him. His grandparents is Zeus, the king of the gods, and Aegina, daughter of a river god Asopus. His mother is Endeis, daughter of Sciron, and thus tracing his bloodline to Poseidon.
    His divine blood was affiliated with many sea deities, giving him an affinity to water.

    Protection from Fire : B
    Reduce damage from weapons and magic based on fire.
    Nullify most fire damage. Only active during usage of Panoplies Pyros.

    Aquatic Affinity : C
    An affinity to water.
    Most water based attack are reduced in damage. Increased healing capabilities when submerged in a body of water. Bonus effect of the ability to breathe underwater.
    Lancer gained this ability through his various blood ties to many water deities and his marriage to the sea goddess Thetis, daughter of Nereus.



    Noble Phantasm:

    Pelias Hasta
    Ashen Spear of Duality
    Rank: B
    Type: Anti-Unit
    Range: 2-4
    Maximum Targets: 1 person

    The spear made of ash wood from Mount Pelion, given to Lancer by Chiron, polished by Athena, and fashioned with a spearhead by Hephaestus. It was given to his son Achilles and played more part in Achilles' hand, most notably against King Telephus, but it still integrated itself to Peleus and become his Noble Phantasm.

    The abilities of the spear are passive in nature. It does not require its name to be called upon in order to be utilized. Wounds inflicted by the spearhead cannot be healed by normal means; even if a form of healing magecraft is applied, the wound will self-inflict itself again after it is healed. On the other hand, those who hold the spear's shaft will have all sorts of negative alignments, including the wound's effect from the spearhead, being negated, while having their physical injuries continuously being healed.

    Incidentally, to heal a non-wielder of Pelias Hasta, the unhealable wound's effect can be negated by the healing aspect of the spear by scraping parts of the shaft and applying it to the wound.



    Panoplies Pyros
    Divine Armor of the Forge
    Rank: B
    Type: Anti-Unit (Self)
    Range: 0
    Maximum Targets: 1 person

    A set of armor consisting of a helmet, shield, and body armor all created by Hephaestus. Peleus passed these gifts on to his son Achilles and it played more part in Achilles' hand, most notably in Trojan War where it was worn by Achilles' cousin Patroclus to rally the Myrmidons, but it still integrated itself to Peleus and become his Noble Phantasm.

    The abilities of the armor are passive in nature. It does not require its name to be called upon in order to be utilized. As long as it is being worn, it doubled the endurance of the wielder and it gives the wielder the skill Protection from Fire equivalent of rank B, but its true strength is its ability to blow back and fend off enemies' attack. It is essentially an armor of "counter-attack"; any attack B rank and below striking the armor would meet an explosion, like "a spark from Hephaestus' forge itself", equivalent to the strength of the attack and be blown back, knocking the enemies's stance off.



    Design:
    The idea is a more defensive and tactical version of Diarmuid. I imagine him as a "kind, patient, ex-military uncle in the family". He has a calm disposition that felt quiet but also not to be messed with. If Peleus did not meet Thetis in the end of his life, his disposition would be most likely turned to Neutral Evil. Many Achilles has been made, but I dont think I ever see his father Peleus, so I made one.

    Peleus' NP has similar effects to Diarmuid's Gae Buidhe, and as he is more strategic and less bounded by a code of honor than Diarmuid, he won't shy against using hit-and-run tactics to defeat his enemies. In fact, that particular tactis is the one fitting Peleus the most, as his other strong point is his endurance, thanks to the armor from Hephaestus. He won't exactly like using this tactic, but his balanced nature and personal experience during his life realize that justice, honor, and chivalric code rarely actually takes place in this world.

    The basis for Peleus in my mind is duality, to reflect his balanced nature. His weapon is a lance and a set of armor with their basic function opposite to each other, his lance has dual effect of wounding and healing that is opposite to each other, his armor has effect of defense and offense that is opposite to each other, and his skill from his heritage and skill from Noble Phantasm is opposite to each other.

    The skill Protection from Fire is purely an effect of his Panoplies Pyros; if the NP is destroyed by some means, than the skill is terminated as well. As for Aquatic Affinity... well, let's just say both Peleus and Achilles has quite a complicated blood ties, with pretty much not a single human blood in their vein (though you can also says that mortal blood and human blood is 2 different matters). Various immortal major gods having affair with mortal minor deities bla bla bla; anyway, from a personal research, I found that Peleus traced his bloodline to quite a lot of sea deities, taking account of many versions of Greek histories. Aquatic Affinity is patched skill from that many bloodties. It's not a very strong skill, only reach maximum effectiveness when coupled with Peleus' many other skills. Thetis having effect to the skill is because wanking and because I want to.

    Pelias Hasta is similar in nature with Gae Buidhe; but while Gae Buidhe lower's one maximum HP, Pelias Hasta inflicts a permanent damage in a fixed amount. Its healing properties is not so great; negative ailments are instantly denied or repelled, but the physical healing process is slow and not so effective in battlefield. It only shows effectiveness when it's coupled with Aquatic Affinity and the defensive properties of Panoplies Pyros. Panoplies Pyros' blow back effect's strength is limited to B-rank, so an attack with higher rank than that would injure Peleus.

    Anyway, he's a Servant that's pretty strong at a defensive one-on-one battle, with his goal more of injuring his enemy bit by bit instead of all-out victory, but any high ranker Anti-Army attack will wipe him pretty easily.



    Critics and advice is always welcomed, but please be gentle with me, as I have a fragile heart m(_ _)m.
    Last edited by castor212; September 30th, 2014 at 10:22 PM.
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    鬼 Ogre-like You's Avatar
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    Apo
    The spear is one of Achilles's NPs. It's supposed to be a throwing weapon and already has a name.

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    O Beast of CaerbannogAAAAARRGH!!? castor212's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by You View Post
    Apo
    The spear is one of Achilles's NPs. It's supposed to be a throwing weapon and already has a name.
    I know. I just like creating it in a different flavor, though it's against canon (plus I dont know what the canon effect is). Maybe I'll change it after the NP's effect is already clear.
    Last edited by castor212; September 30th, 2014 at 10:21 PM.
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    Personal Information:

    Class Name : Archer
    True Name :
    Arjuna
    Sex : Male
    Alignment :
    Lawful Good
    Height / Weight :
    175cm/65kg
    Also known as :
    Son of the Storm God



    Background:
    Spoiler:
    Arjuna is the third of the Pandavas, and the best of them all when it comes to archery; he is considered the best warrior and hero in the epic of Mahabharata. He was fathered by the grace of the storm god Indra and born from Kunti.

    After the death of Pandu, the Pandavas and their mother lived in Hastinapura, where they were brought up together with their cousins, the Kaurava brothers. Along with his brothers, Arjuna was trained in religion, science, administration and military arts by Drona and Bhisma.

    One day, when the princes were playing a game, they lost their ball in a well. When the rest of the children gave up the ball as being lost, Arjuna stayed behind trying to get it. A stranger came by and extracted the ball for him by making a chain of "sarkanda" (a wild grass). He threw the first one to pierce the ball, then the second one to pierce the free end of the first one and then the third one to pierce the tail of the second one and so on till he could reach it. When an astonished Arjuna related the story to Bhishma, Bhishma realized that the stranger was none other than Drona. He ordered Arjuna to call the sage and asked him to become the Kuru princes' teacher. Seeking refuge from Panchala, Drona agreed.

    Under Drona's tutelage, the Kauravas and the Pandavas, along with the princes of Hastinapura's allies and vassals, learned weaponry. Arjuna became Drona's favorite and most accomplished pupil; specifically, he became a master in using the bow and the arrow. In a famous incident, Drona deemed that out of all his students, even his own son Ashwatthama, none but Arjuna had the steadfast focus to shoot the eye of a bird on a tree; he was proven right.

    Arjuna was the only one with the skill and fortitude to save his teacher from an attack from a crocodile. In reality, the attack was a ruse Drona used to test his students. In another story, Arjuna, noticing Bhima eating in the dark, trained himself to shoot accurately without visualizing his target. Impressed by Arjuna, Drona promised his pupil that he would make Arjuna the greatest archer that ever lived or ever would live.

    At the end of their training, the Kuru princes displayed their talents to their elders in an arena. There, Arjuna steals the show, using divine weapons to great effect. However, before he can be crowned as the victor of the tournament, he is challenged by Karna. Karna matched Arjuna's feats. But due to his low birth, Karna is not allowed to compete and gets insulted by Bhima and the others for being a sutaputra; this incident marks the beginning of a feud between Karna and Arjuna that lasts until the end of the story.

    As the Pandavas and Kauravas grew older, a crown prince had to be named. Yudhishthira won the nomination over Duryodhana. This marks the rivalry between the Kauravas and the Pandavas, and also the eternal rivalry between Arjuna and Karna.

    As the Pandavas and Kauravas grew older, a crown prince had to be named. Yudhishthira won the nomination over Duryodhana. Angered, Duryodhana plotted with his uncle Shakuni, who masterminded a plan to kill the Pandavas. The Kauravas have a house of wax built; they desired to send the Pandavas vacationing to the wax house, under some pretense, before setting the house on fire. Alerted of the scheme by Vidura, the Pandavas evaded the trap. Arjuna and Bhima wanted to declare war, but Yudhisthira cooled them down. Under his orders, Arjuna, Kunti, and the Pandavas faked their deaths and went into hiding.

    Still in hiding, the Pandavas disguise themselves as brahmins and attend the Swayamvara of Panchala princess Draupadi. Out of all of the great kings and other Kaurava princes, only Karna and Arjuna are able to do the established challenge. The test is to lift, string, and fire Pinakin to pierce the eye of a golden fish whilst only looking at its reflection. This test demanded concentration, sense of timing, and precision of an archer. Drupada had designed this test with Arjuna in mind. At first Karna is able to lift and string the bow, but when he is aiming to fire the shot, Drupadi rejects Karna for his low-birth. Then, the disguised Arjuna comes forward and accomplishes the task.

    When the brothers returned with Draupadi, Arjuna joked to his mother that they had brought alms. Dismissively, and without looking because she was preoccupied, Kunti asks him to share it with his brothers. Holding his mother's orders as a divine command(or in some cases, because of Arjuna's earlier promise), Arjuna unquestionably agrees, and even refused to back down when his brothers and Kunti attempt to talk him down. Draupadi had to marry all five of the Pandavas, with each year with one of them.

    the Pandavas revealed that they were alive. With both Duryodhana and Yudhishthira being crown princes, tensions are high. Under Bhisma's advice, the kingdom is split, with the Kauravas getting Hastinapur and the Pandavas getting Khandavaprastha. With Khandavaprastha being very underdeveloped and having infertile soil, requiring tilling, the Pandavas set to work rebuilding the land.

    One day, during an incident when some thieves stole a Brahmins cows, Arjuna was forced to violate Yudhishthira and Draupadi's privacy, as he had left the Gandiva in their room. Despite the understanding of all and being forgiven by both Yudhishthira and Draupadi, Arjuna accepted the punishment agreed with Narada and set off on a twelve-year pilgrimage.

    During his pilgrimage, Arjuna did many deeds, married several times, and received many boons from the gods. One of them is the boon of invincibility he gained from Ulupi, the naga prinvess, as long as he is near a body of water. After his time of pilgrimage, though, Yudhisthira succumbed to Shakuni's challenge in the game of dice, and the Pandavas were forced to be in exile for 13 years, which included one year in anonymity.

    Indra had promised Arjuna to give him all his weapons sensing an impending war with the Kauravas, on the condition that he obtain the Pashupatastra from Lord Shiva.

    Arjuna traveled for a while before reaching the mountain Indra keeladri, Vijayawada. Here he sat in meditation in the name of Lord Shiva. Shiva appeared soon enough in the guise of a hunter, who challenged Arjuna to a fight. While being thoroughly dominated by Shiva, Arjuna became confused as to how an ordinary hunter could best a warrior like himself. He prays to Shiva for strength, and then sees the offerings he made to Shiva around the hunter's neck. Shiva was very pleased with the bravery and prowess of the prince. Consequently, Shiva transformed himself to show his real avatar and blessed Arjuna with the Pashupatastra. Other devas like Kubera, Yama, Varuna and Indra followed suit and blessed each of their potent weapons to Arjuna, though each weapon has their own restrictions for receiving the boons of the gods, many could only be used against the Kauravas.

    As promised, after Arjuna receives Pashupatastra, Indra gave Arjuna his own Vajra as his personal weapon and trump card. As Pashupatastra is the greatest weapon a warrior could wield, the gods imbued many restrictions on its usage. The one time Arjuna fulfill the conditions of unleashing it is when he use Pashupatastra to annihilate the asura tribe of the Kaalakeyas in Hiranyapuri.

    Prepared by the gods themselves for the war against the Kauravas, Arjuna is most definitely the strongest trump card on the Pandavas side. However, as the battle draws close, Arjuna was overcome with self-doubt about the righteousness of the war against his own kith and kin. He was aggrieved at the thought of having to fight with his dear teacher, Drona and the fatherlike Bhishma. It was then that Krishna took charge and explained the necessity and inevitability of the war to Arjuna. But even after his best friend's attempt to convince him, Arjuna still has doubts regarding this war; Krishna's attempt was only succesful to make Arjuna separates his doubts with his part in the war.

    During the period of the Kurukshetra War, Arjuna was a key Pandava warrior and played a huge role. He slayed many warriors on the Kauravas side; Bhagadatta, Bhisma, Jayadharta, but the climax is when he fought against Karna.

    This battle between Arjuna and Karna is perhaps the most cataclysmic and awesome of the great epic. The warriors on the battlefield and the devas in heaven watched the battle in speechless amazement and terrified admiration of the strength and skill of these greatest of warriors. The epic states that initially, the battle was even between the two foes, but then Karna's chariot wheel gets stuck in the mud. Further, owing to a curse Karna received from his guru Parasurama, Karna forgot the mantra to invoke the Brahmastra.

    The string of Arjuna's bow was drawn back to its limits. These brothers who, for a long time, were manipulated by an unseen destiny to compete for supremacy, could only in this moment strike one another with all their might and sure enough, Arjuna's bow shot down the sun.

    After Karna fell down from his chariot, at the very last moment, Arjuna hesitated on landing the killing blow. Krishna reminded him that it was Karna himself that had decided to fight on the sides of the Kauravas and, by extension, acted against dharma. His act made Karna had no right at this point in his life to hide behind the rules of engagement.

    Thus, Arjuna looked at the faces of Karna. Karna himself showed no expression, merely a calm acceptance of a warrior ready for his death. When Arjuna once again still hesitated, Karna said to Arjuna: "Everything that you've done to this point, everything that you have fought for; it is all for this moment. Would you throw it all away?" And after that, Karna closed his eyes, waiting for Arjuna's judgement. Arjuna himself finally killed Karna by decapitating hin.

    Despite being enemies, in then end, Arjuna can't help but to come to respect Karna. Later, when it was revealed that Karna was actually Arjuna's older brother, Arjuna's Gandiva slipped from his grasp for the first time. Arjuna became haunted by Karna's killing, and took it upon himself to treat Vrishakethu, Karna's only remaining son, with great care.

    Arjuna and other Pandavas retired, leaving the throne to their only descendant to survive the war of Kurukshetra, for a pilgrimage to reach svarga, the paradise before one is reincarnated. But except for Yudhishthira, all of the Pandavas grew weak and died before reaching svarga. Arjuna was the fourth one to fall after Draupadi, Sahadeva and Nakula. When Bhima asks Yudhishthira why Arjuna isn't permitted the same, the reason given is Arjuna's extreme pride in his skills as an archer and that he had said that he would consume all the foes of the Pandavas in a single day but proud of his heroism he did not however accomplish what he had said.
    During his youth, Arjuna is described as one whose mind is spotless and clean of all impurities, but also has an arrogance that comes due to his superior ability. His training from Drona had reduced it from him, and Arjuna's nobility is manifested in his magnanimity in victory and compassion towards adversaries. However, his weakness of arrogance is replaced by his hesitation on condemning death to his enemies. Thus, he was forced to bears all the injustice of the Kauravas with stoicism and deaden his heart so as to not lose in the progress of war. The limit of his indifference was when he found out that Karna is in fact his brother. He made amends with it as a deed done cannot be change, and decided to atone for it by caring Karna's son Vrishakethu.

    In the Holy Grail War, he was summoned as Archer. He will fight as his Master orders due to his honor and obligation to his Master, but ultimately he has no wish, and thus no expressive motivation to win the war. As he is kind in nature and has no particular thirst for battle, unless there's another Servant with a very conflicting nature from him and whose acts represent adharma, he won't move and fight seriously.



    Parameters:

    Strength :
    C
    Endurance :
    C
    Agility :
    A
    Prana :
    B
    Luck :
    A+
    Noble Phantasm :
    EX



    Class Skill:

    Independent Action : A
    The ability to remain independent even when rejecting the prana supply from the Master. Capable of remaining in this world for a week even after losing his Master. However, to use Noble Phantasms of great prana consumption, back up from the Master is necessary.

    Magic Resistance : C
    Grants protection against magical effects. Cancel spells with a chant below two verses. Cannot defend against Magecraft on the level of High-Thaumaturgy and Greater Rituals.



    Personal Skill:

    Divine Protection of the Devas : A
    A blessing of Divine Spirits.
    The skill representes the many favors that Archer has earned from the devas. Responsible for his high rank in MGI even when summoned in Archer class, and double his LCK stat.

    Riding : B
    Expertise to ride animals and vehicles. Most vehicles can be handled with above average skill. However, cannot ride the likes of Phantasm Races such as Monstrous Beast.

    Boon of Naga : B
    The boon of invincibility granted to Archer by the naga princess, Ulupi. Any offensive action performed on Archer will have their effectiveness reduced, proportionate to how close Archer is to a body of water. In zero proximity, all damages are halved.

    Clairvoyance : B
    Excellent vision. Dynamic vision improves when keeping track of distant targets. Capable of keeping track of fast-moving object within a range of 10kms. Bonus effect of x-ray vision; focusing sight on an enemy while bypassing obstacle is now possible.

    Divinity : B
    Strength of one's godlike nature. The more godlike blood one possessed, the higher this stat becomes. Archer was the son of the god of storm, Indra.
    This Divine Spirit aptitude manifests as high defensive power against thunder god-type Heroic Spirits with a Divinity rank of C or lower.



    Noble Phantasm:

    Gandhiva
    O God, Bestow Thy Gift


    Rank: B
    Type: Anti-Unit
    Range: 4-60
    Maximum Targets: 1 person


    The bow of the devas.

    It was created by Brahma, the Creator of universe and supreme god in Hindu theology. Brahma held it first for a thousand years, then Prajapati held it for five hundred and three years, Indra, for five hundred and eighty years, and Soma for five hundred years. After that Varuna held it for a hundred years before handing it to Arjuna along with two inexhaustible quivers.

    Due to it being created by the god of creation Brahma and held by various deities for a long time, Gandhiva is capable of manifesting different kinds of divine attributes, depending on the user. In the case of Arjuna, due to him being the son of Indra, the bow displays the attribute and power of the storm god Indra when Arjuna uses it.

    When fired, the bow made the sound of thunder, and any projectiles fired by it will be imbued with lightning properties capable of inflicting B-rank damage.

    As the 2 inexhaustible quivers is part of the Noble Phantasm, Arjuna can relentlessly use Gandhiva as long as he still has prana reserves remaining, making it a very efficient Noble Phantasm.

    It was returned to the gods after the Kurushektra War, but it still integrates itself to Arjuna as a Noble Phantasm.



    Vajra
    O Indra, Strike the Earth

    Rank: B+
    Type: Anti-Army
    Range: 2-60
    Maximum Targets: 10 person


    The divine weapon of the storm god Indra, created by the maker of divine instruments Tvastar. It is a manifestation of Indra's lightning, given to Arjuna as a preparation for the war against the Kauravas.

    It is a divine weapon that can only be shot only once for a fixed B+ rank lightning damage separate from the user's prana supply. It has a very high damage output contrast to its prana consumption, but due to its nature as a one-use trump card, Arjuna almost never uses it unless he's backed to the wall.


    Pashupatastra
    O Shiva, Undo Creation

    Rank: EX
    Type: Anti-World
    Range: 1-3/4-99
    Maximum Targets: 1000 person

    The irresistible and most destructive personal weapon of Archer, discharged by the mind, the eyes, words, or a bow. It was bestowed upon him by Shiva, the god of destruction. Never to be used against lesser enemies or by lesser warriors, the Pashupatastra is capable of destroying creation and vanquishing all beings. It manifests as a 2-pronged arrow under Archer's hold.

    The moment it hits the target, Pashupatastra activates its effect of "undoing creation", further and further expanding its effective range. Though it has immense range, the true strength of this Noble Phantasm is its absolute effect of nulling everything that "exist" without exception, even the world itself.

    Due to its absolute nature, the usage of Pashupatastra was given many restriction by the devas; it cannot be used against those weaker than Archer, and it can only be utilized to uphold dharma. Moreover, as Pashupatastra's effect can be devastating to its surroundings, Archer would almost never uses it even if its restrictions are lifted.

    The Pashupatastra teaches a lesson of life - if damage is done, it cannot be reversed.



    Design:
    It's Arjuna. You guys know Arjuna. The idea is to make an Archer who mainly attacks by showering his enemy with high-powered arrows while moving places. He's weaker than Karna, I guess, since different from Brahmastra Kundala, Vajra can only be shot once. I personally think that the only reasons Karna loses in Mahabharata War is because that curse of him and because in the last battle he was deprived of his armor.

    I made the amount of his "normal" personal skills and "exclusive" personal skills mirrored that of Karna, but the effect is not exactly the opposite of Karna. The Riding skill for Arjuna is pretty high, but in this version of mine he cannot be summoned as Rider even though he has Riding skill (in fact, I personally think that qualification for Rider is kick ass mounted NP instead of Riding skill), due to his heroic deed on a chariot is more correctly attributed to his bro Krishna. His Divinity acts pretty much like Karna, only differs in rank. Clairvoyance is a mandatory skill for Arjuna IMO; he had "the steadfast focus to shoot the eye of a bird on a tree" and capable of "firing an arrow to pierce the eye of a golden fish whilst only looking at its reflection".

    Both Karna and Arjuna has 2 "exclusive" skills (it's exclusive for all I know). Boon of Naga is a skill from one of his many wives, Ulupi. It's not the most known skill of Arjuna, but I find it an interesting ability. Originally it's A rank, but I knocked it down a rank since it's a less famous part of Arjuna's legend. Divine Protection of the Devas (singular : deva) is basically why Arjuna is super lucky with gods in his live, and because as an Archer (with basic MGI E-rank) I need a reason for his high rank on MGI.

    The amount of Noble Phantasm is also the same as Karna's. I decided to not use the wankload of Astras he has during his life and only incorporate the ones that's linked to him the most in legend; Pashupatastra, the astra he did the hardest to get but almost never used. Vajra is a given, since Indra is his father. Gandhiva mirrored Kavacha and Kundala; a divine artifact that represents each of their father's attribute.

    Mainly he fights using tactics and Gandhiva, showering his enemy with lightning arrow from afar. He'd try his best to not get pinned down, but if he does, Vajra comes into play. Pashupatastra effectively will never be used due various reason and restriction. He would not use it even when he is about to lose; only an enemy with severely conflicting personality and whose acts completely went against dharma could make him use it, and he would still need to find the location fitting for Pashupatastra's activation.

    Dharma is the concept in Hinduism; basically, it means "cosmic law and order" (aka Lawful Good). Adharma is its opposite, all those Chaotic Evil-ism.



    Critics and advice is always welcomed, but please be gentle with me, as I have a fragile heart m(_ _)m.
    Last edited by castor212; October 3rd, 2014 at 11:56 AM.
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    Currently (like, actually) finishing Apocrypha 3

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