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Thread: Create-a-Servant

  1. #12201
    祖 Ancestor NMR-3's Avatar
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    The Father of Lies
    Assassin

    STR E ~ B
    EN E ~ B
    AGI E ~ B
    MA A+
    LU E
    Class skills:
    Presence Concealment B
    The skill of concealing one's presence. At this rank, the user is concealed from the senses of even most Heroic Spirits, though an attempt to attack drops the rank.
    Combined with Shape-shifting, the Servant is almost unsurpassable at making infiltration.


    Personal skills:
    Shape-shifting B-
    Since the human form is just a shell around his true essence, Assassin can freely change his shape and internal workings to whatever he desires.
    In effect, this gives him a pool of stats he can distribute at will to either his Strength, Agility or Endurance, and rearrange when and how he wishes. His Magic and Luck stats cannot be changed, however.
    The shape-shifting has another flaw: every form he takes must have some small but noticeable nod to his true nature.
    Whether it's goat hooves, horns or some physical deficiency like a hunched back, they're apparent to anyone who looks hard enough.


    Nature of the Rebellious Spirit A
    While a distinct entity from both Lucifer, the greatest of the fallen angels, also known as Helel, and Satan, which was the entity that was responsible for judging souls, the Devil is still rebelling against the Christian God by corrupting and tempting mortals.
    This skill negates the effects of Charisma of any rank.


    Divinity A++
    Recognized as the embodiment of if not evil, then at least temptation the world over, the Devil is a fully divine entity.
    However, to be able to manifest in a Grail War, only the aspect of him that tempts Man by taking their form can be summoned, heavily restricting his power.


    Noble Phantasm:

    Mephistopheles ~ A Deal With The Devil, A Pact Signed in Blood ~ E
    A Noble Phantasm, formed by tale upon tale of trickery and deceit, taking the form of a contract.
    While its shape is as fluid as that of its owner and changes based on the intended recipient, certain facts are immutable: it takes the form of some sort of writing implement like a pen, which is always paired with something to write on - usually the contract is written on plain paper, which only requires the target to sign to complete. It contains no small letters, or other attempts at deceit: the terms are spelled out clearly, concisely, and in the language of the speaker.
    The terms always amount to the same thing: in return for their soul, Assassin will do everything in his power to make a single wish true, which has been spelled out beforehand. However, Assassin is not inclined to take on wishes he cannot fulfill, and will lash out if the contract holder attempts to break the rules of the deal.
    After the victim - for that is what the signatories are - has signed the contract, Assassin will grant the wish, before taking their soul.
    With souls in his possession, Assassin can consume them for large amounts of mana, enough to let him survive a day without a Master per soul, use them to take fatal blows in his place, or summon biblical demons into the world, equal to a Servant with every parameter at rank C.
    The effective capacity of the bag in which he stores these souls is infinite.

    Notes:
    Now before you go off on me for breaking a fundamental rule of HGWs and letting Divine Spirits be summoned, this is only an aspect of the Devil, the aspect of him appearing on Earth to trick mortals into signing away their souls to him.
    Hence why he's only got one Noble Phantasm and not the absolute shitload he'd have when summoned as a full Divine Spirit.
    Anyway. Original title of the NP was, you might guess, The Devil Went Down To Georgia.
    Last edited by NMR-3; November 13th, 2015 at 12:15 PM.

  2. #12202
    Just a question but shouldn't the target sign the contract before Assassin granting/trying to grant the wish?
    Aus Feuer ward der Geist geschaffen,
    drum schenkt mir süßes Feuer ein!
    Die Lust der Lieder und der Waffen,
    die Lust der Liebe schenkt mir ein,
    der Trauben süßes Sonnenblut,
    das Wunder glaubt und Wunder thut!

  3. #12203
    祖 Ancestor NMR-3's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elthanes View Post
    Just a question but shouldn't the target sign the contract before Assassin granting/trying to grant the wish?
    That was the intention but I can see how that could be unclear. I'll edit the post.

  4. #12204
    Assassin will take possession of their soul, before granting the wish.
    Shouldn't it be the other way around?
    Aus Feuer ward der Geist geschaffen,
    drum schenkt mir süßes Feuer ein!
    Die Lust der Lieder und der Waffen,
    die Lust der Liebe schenkt mir ein,
    der Trauben süßes Sonnenblut,
    das Wunder glaubt und Wunder thut!

  5. #12205
    祖 Ancestor NMR-3's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elthanes View Post
    Shouldn't it be the other way around?
    Oh. Oh. Fuck, fixing that.

  6. #12206
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elthanes View Post
    No it isn't.
    Adolph is a different name with the same pronounciation
    Ahem.


    Quote Originally Posted by Elthanes View Post
    He's from the fucking 20th century.
    How do you justify 40times the average human agility?
    No need to swear, geez. And I've already nerfed it to C++ rank the other day.


    Quote Originally Posted by Elthanes View Post
    I'd actually rank it lower than Gilles' simply because Hitler didn't do those fucked up things in person.
    Maybe A or B.
    That's not how he was remembered though. Most people haven't even heard of Gilles de Rais, I'd imagine. In popular consciousness Hitler is straight up one of (if not the most) evil and deranged men in the entire freaking world. That's gotta count for something, regardless of whether he perpetrated his crimes in person or not. Of course in reality there were probably other warlords throughout history just as bad personality-wise, but they never got nearly as much influence or notoriety (and even any that did were from so long ago that we don't even really know for sure how bad they really were, like with Attila the Hun).


    Quote Originally Posted by Elthanes View Post
    Have you actually looked at some of his images?
    Size
    Yep, I have. Hence the extremely low rank I gave him. Eye For Art is mostly just flavor text really, it's not like it gives him any kind of super-advantage or anything. Really, I just put it in for extra "Take that Fuhrer!" points.


    Quote Originally Posted by Elthanes View Post
    In general I think that skill is bad.
    It's like you're just trying to make him stronger without any reason for it.
    If you'd make it straight up imperial priviledge I'd still not like it but atleast it would justify Military Tactics etc. since there's a reason the generals called him GröfazGrößter Feldherr aller Zeiten behind his back.
    Cult Of Personality isn't something I made up on my own though, some guy used it for a Napoleon sheet a while back to a fairly ridiculous extent (A++ rank cannons anyone?) and a few other people have used it as well. It certainly fits him though, like with how he forged most of his war-records to make himself look way braver and more skilled then he really was and the whole myth of the "Aryan race" that he presented.


    Quote Originally Posted by Elthanes View Post
    He survived nowhere near the amount of assassination attempts as some others.
    I mean Castro survived 638 attempts on his life.
    Castro would probably have it at like A+++ rank then. Seriously though, I nerfed the rank down to just A last night. Not going to lower it any further. (Don't want to give up the "Assassinating him would take nothing short of a miracle" line)


    Quote Originally Posted by Elthanes View Post
    Pretty sure that was made up by comic books as a reason why superheroes didn't just win the war.
    It really doesn't belong on a servant sheet.
    I don't think comic books made it up wholesale. I think they were taking advantage of a pre-existing myth for their own purposes. Besides I've seen a few other Hitler sheets that have the spear as a Noble Phantasm (including one on this very site).


    Quote Originally Posted by Elthanes View Post
    Yes by people who have no clue about german.
    "heilig" is an adverb while "heilige/heiliger/heiliges/ is an adjective
    Gratuitous German for the win! Grammar optional.
    Last edited by RoydGolden; November 13th, 2015 at 03:53 PM.

  7. #12207
    Quote Originally Posted by RoydGolden View Post
    I don't see your point.
    His name is Adolf not Adolph.
    That's not how he was remembered though. Most people haven't even heard of Gilles de Rais, I'd imagine. In popular consciousness Hitler is straight up one of (if not the most) evil and deranged men in the entire freaking world. That's gotta count for something, regardless of whether he perpetrated his crimes in person or not. Of course in reality there were probably other warlords throughout history just as bad personality-wise, but they never got nearly as much influence or notoriety (and even any that did were from so long ago that we don't even really know for sure how bad they really were, like with Attila the Hun).
    If you give Hitler that ridicilous rank on Mental Pollution how would you rank Mengele for example?

    I don't think comic books made it up wholesale.
    In that case I think you're wrong

    In general you give your servants too high ranks on stats and skills, like something I noticed now is that you gave him higher charisma than King Arthur.
    Aus Feuer ward der Geist geschaffen,
    drum schenkt mir süßes Feuer ein!
    Die Lust der Lieder und der Waffen,
    die Lust der Liebe schenkt mir ein,
    der Trauben süßes Sonnenblut,
    das Wunder glaubt und Wunder thut!

  8. #12208
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elthanes View Post
    I don't see your point.
    His name is Adolf not Adolph.
    And Zero Rider's name was Alexander, not Iskandar. Still, it's just his name. If you really care so much I can just take five seconds to change it.

    Quote Originally Posted by Elthanes View Post
    If you give Hitler that ridicilous rank on Mental Pollution how would you rank Mengele for example?
    Hmm, that's actually a good point. (Especially since I actually thought of doing a Mengele sheet at one time)


    Quote Originally Posted by Elthanes View Post
    In that case I think you're wrong?
    Some guy (admittedly a crackpot) actually wrote a book about how Hitler supposedly started World War II in order to capture the spear. Do you really think he got it from Marvel Comics?


    Quote Originally Posted by Elthanes View Post
    In general you give your servants too high ranks on stats and skills, like something I noticed now is that you gave him higher charisma than King Arthur.
    Skills I can understand, but I think I'm actually pretty tame when it comes to dishing out stats. I mean, I hardly ever give my Servants more than one A at most under Parameters (maybe two counting Luck or NP). If anything I sometimes wonder if I'm too reserved stat-wise, considering the canon powerhouses like King Arthur and others (definitely not thinking of Hitler in particular here).

  9. #12209
    分かろうとするな、感じれ Mcjon01's Avatar
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    The Nazis did recover the lance and move it to Nuremberg, along with the other Imperial Regalia of the Holy Roman Empire, when they took over Austria. That's factual world history.

  10. #12210
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    See! At least somebody here's got my back...

  11. #12211
    Quote Originally Posted by Mcjon01 View Post
    The Nazis did recover the lance and move it to Nuremberg, along with the other Imperial Regalia of the Holy Roman Empire, when they took over Austria. That's factual world history.
    Which as you will surely know was 1.5 years before the war started.
    Aus Feuer ward der Geist geschaffen,
    drum schenkt mir süßes Feuer ein!
    Die Lust der Lieder und der Waffen,
    die Lust der Liebe schenkt mir ein,
    der Trauben süßes Sonnenblut,
    das Wunder glaubt und Wunder thut!

  12. #12212
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    So what? He still had it.

  13. #12213
    It also isn't the lance of longinus.
    It's a spear/lance that has a nail used to crucify Jesus hammered into it.
    Aus Feuer ward der Geist geschaffen,
    drum schenkt mir süßes Feuer ein!
    Die Lust der Lieder und der Waffen,
    die Lust der Liebe schenkt mir ein,
    der Trauben süßes Sonnenblut,
    das Wunder glaubt und Wunder thut!

  14. #12214
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Servant Assassin (Fake):

    True Name: Bruce Lee

    Alignment: Neutral Good

    Strength- B
    Agility- A
    Endurance- C
    Mana- D
    Luck- C
    NP- A++

    Appearance: Pretty sure everybody here knows what Bruce Lee looks like. Just in case you've been living under a rock for the past century I'll provide a picture anyway.

    (Couldn't find anything in anime style that was good enough, so I just decided to go with a real picture this time around)

    Personality: a calm and tranquil individual. He is something of a pragmatist, disdaining overly formal styles and using whatever means are at hand to achieve victory. That's not to say he doesn't have honor though. He respects his opponents greatly and will consider it an honor to be able to fight such talented individuals. He rarely shows anger outright, for he believes that battle is a pure art that should not be stained by wrath. However, he will make an exception if he sees someone senselessly harming an innocent, especially children.

    Likes: formlessness
    Dislikes: overly rigid styles
    Talents: martial arts, acting, philosophy


    Class Skills:

    Presence Concealment (N/A)- due to not being properly summoned into the Assassin class, this Skill is rendered unusable.


    Personal Skills:

    Vitrification (B)- A serene state of mind. A mental protection that nullifies psychological interference. Can also be used to conceal one's fighting spirit from others in a similiar fashion to the Skill Presence Concealment. At this rank, Assassin can conceal his fighting spirit from nearly all beings and is difficult to effect with mental interference based magecraft.

    Chinese Martial Arts (A+++)- A value that measures one's mastery of the martial arts that made becoming one with the universe as its objective. Its difficulty to learn is of the highest level and, unlike other Skills, it is at A Rank that one is at a level where he is said to have finally "learned it". At this rank, one is an indisputed master among masters.

    Prana Burst (C)- can briefly discharge prana in sudden, explosive bursts to enhance striking power. Assassin's version of this Skill is derived from the Fa Jin (Eng. Explosive Power) principle of martial arts.

    Natural Body (D)- possesses the trained body of a flawless martial artist who's dedicated their entire life to their technique. At this rank, Strength is given a + modifier.


    Noble Phantasms:


    Jeet Kune Do- Intercepting Fist, Formless Style (B, Support): the signature martial art style that Bruce Lee invented. Transcending all forms of rigid style to achieve a "style beyond style", emptying one's mind of extraneous thoughts to move fluidly and without hesitation. As his attacks are fully spontaneous, they cannot be predicted by any means and can only be reacted to. Skills like Instinct and Eye Of The Mind are rendered useless against this paradoxical style. Rather then being a Noble Phantasm in the traditional sense, it is simply the embodiment of Assassin's philosophy of "Be formless... shapeless, like water."


    One-Inch Punch
    - Absolute Destruction, Single Blow (A++, Anti-Unit): Assassin's famous technique, used as the basis of founding Jeet Kune Do. Through sudden release of explosive power (Fa Jin), a tremendous amount of force can be generated over an extremely short distance. Although already impressive in life, as a Heroic Spirit this is exaggerated to an inhuman degree, releasing an incredibly destructive burst of force and concentrated air pressure capable of splitting open a mountain face. Because of its great power, it can be called a "sure kill technique" which Assassin will only use as a last resort for fear of destroying his opponent utterly.



    Say hello to Heroic Spirit Bruce Lee everyone! I'm aware his physical stats are pretty ridiculous for a contemporary Servant, but he was pretty much one of the closest things the modern day had to a superhuman so I think it fits. I mean, his kicks have been calculated to literally hit like a truck and his speed was so great cameras could barely catch him on film. (And that's not even getting into the more openly superhuman feats some have attributed to him...) Assassin class isn't really the perfect fit for him but its not like anything else would work any better so it was either that or invent some custom class like Striker for him which I didn't feel like doing. Plus if Kojiro (a samurai) and Li Shuwen (a martial artist) can be Assassins I don't see why this guy can't be one too. As always, be sure to drop by with commentary and criticisms!
    Last edited by RoydGolden; February 17th, 2016 at 11:41 PM.

  15. #12215
    You are aware that Bruce Lee was born 1940 right?
    Aus Feuer ward der Geist geschaffen,
    drum schenkt mir süßes Feuer ein!
    Die Lust der Lieder und der Waffen,
    die Lust der Liebe schenkt mir ein,
    der Trauben süßes Sonnenblut,
    das Wunder glaubt und Wunder thut!

  16. #12216
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Er, yeah so? He's still relatively modern as opposed to like, King Arthur or Heracles. What point are you trying to make, exactly?

  17. #12217
    Tranquilo, Japones, Tranquilo JetKinen's Avatar
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    no.

    Do you truly believe Bruce Lee is stronger than Li Shuwen?

    - - - Updated - - -

    Mind you, TM's Li Shuwen is based around this


    Fate Grand/Order ID: 102947414/GreenBob
    JetKinen's tries very poorly to translate a brazilian book

  18. #12218
    Quote Originally Posted by RoydGolden View Post
    Er, yeah so? He's still relatively modern as opposed to like, King Arthur or Heracles. What point are you trying to make, exactly?
    That's not "still relatively modern" that's completly modern.
    Aus Feuer ward der Geist geschaffen,
    drum schenkt mir süßes Feuer ein!
    Die Lust der Lieder und der Waffen,
    die Lust der Liebe schenkt mir ein,
    der Trauben süßes Sonnenblut,
    das Wunder glaubt und Wunder thut!

  19. #12219
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JetKinen View Post
    no.
    No to what exactly?


    Quote Originally Posted by JetKinen View Post
    Do you truly believe Bruce Lee is stronger than Li Shuwen?

    - - - Updated - - -

    Mind you, TM's Li Shuwen is based around this

    ...D-did he just squish that guy's head into his neck? With one blow? That is hardcore. To be fair, of his base physical parameters Bruce only has one stat (Strength) higher then Shuwen which I felt was fitting considering the aforementioned truck-force kicks. I could lower it to B rank pretty easily though (I admittedly didn't check with Shuwen's stats when making the sheet).

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by Elthanes View Post
    That's not "still relatively modern" that's completly modern.
    Well, I said he was a contemporary Servant in the sheet itself. I only tacked "relatively" onto my comment because I thought you were second-guessing me or something.
    Last edited by RoydGolden; November 13th, 2015 at 05:21 PM.

  20. #12220
    The Best Kind of P.C. Megas's Avatar
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    I mean, the major objection I have is that this:
    I'm aware his physical stats are pretty ridiculous for a contemporary Servant, but he was pretty much one of the closest things the modern day had to a superhuman so I think it fits
    Is true of pretty much all Heroic spirits. That's how they get in to the throne in the first place. Lee wouldn't get special boosts because of it.

    Elsewise, re-adjust the ranks to better match the Assassin class and take away some skills (he has no business having Prana Burst or Natural Body) and he should be mostly fine.

    Keep in mind that great martial arts techniques aren't actually NPs, they just take up the slot on Kojirou and Shuwen because they had enough power/mystery to rival one. IIRC anyway
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