Create-A-Servant 2

[RoydGolden]

As for Roman heroes that simplify Rome, other than ROMA himself, there's Marcus Curtius. "MANLINESS AND COURAGE ARE ALL YOU NEED!" *jumps into chasm to the underworld in full battle armor along with his horse and it closes because he's so ROMA*. You know, if you wanted another wacky Roman Servant. I imagine him as All-Might from My Hero Academia, but twice as ROMA.

That sounds pretty damn badass but from what a brief Google search tells me, almost nothing is actually known on the guy other then that one epic feat. Not sure if you can spin off a full Servant sheet from just that, alas.

[Ereus]

That sounds pretty damn badass but from what a brief Google search tells me, almost nothing is actually known on the guy other then that one epic feat. Not sure if you can spin off a full Servant sheet from just that, alas.

I mean nasu did it with scathath.

[asterism42]

managed to weaponize his raw sex appeal to be so hot he melted snow.

TM Cu could do this, don't deny it

[Ereus]

TM Cu could do this, don't deny it

Remember that time in myth cu was so mad water boiled near him when they shoved him into a barrel?

[Bird of Hermes]

TM Cu could do this, don't deny it

In First-Order Cas!Cu's shirt did seem to be limiting his power as he kicked Archer's and Salter butt after he lost it...

Yeah, you're right.

[sherlock1110]

Abigail: Your content doesn't justify your low opinion of it, my man. You really don't need a little mini-introduction of self-deprecation before you post the sheet, especially a pretty fun one like this. I really like how the individual parts of the sheet (FC, personality, skills, NPs) all sort of come together, similarly to what I was saying about Longinus earlier. That's always been one of the harder parts of sheets for me, but you seem to be getting a handle on it pretty quick. I quite like the way the skills sort of play into and synergize with the Second and First Noble Phantasms. Suggestions: Not much, honestly. I think this is one of my favorite sheets from you. The only thing I'm questioning (though not necessarily demanding change) is the inclusion of both Presence Concealment and Espionage. Obviously they represent different things but it's traditionally just one or the other. Not to say that it couldn't be both, but I guess I'd just be interested in hearing your thoughts on that particular aspect.

It's not a well aligned sheet at all, it has the inorganic and forced style that I seem to be making my hallmark sorry. I cannot understand why you see any virtue in this but I insist that both Espionage and Presence Concealment works as they are traits that Abigail displayed, additionally I falsely believed that Espionage would work better with allowing her to approach and intimidate those she wished to use her second NP on. Sorry I was quite wrong in my creation of this sheet I'm sorry to have wasted your time.

[4score7years]

It's not a well aligned sheet at all, it has the inorganic and forced style that I seem to be making my hallmark sorry. I cannot understand why you see any virtue in this but I insist that both Espionage and Presence Concealment works as they are traits that Abigail displayed, additionally I falsely believed that Espionage would work better with allowing her to approach and intimidate those she wished to use her second NP on. Sorry I was quite wrong in my creation of this sheet I'm sorry to have wasted your time.

I insist that both Espionage and Presence Concealment works as they are traits that Abigail displayed, additionally I believed that Espionage would work better with allowing her to approach and intimidate those she wished to use her second NP on.

You really don't need to do this. Your reasoning makes sense, and we don't need a half-paragraph of self-criticism that isn't even justified. I even went back and double checked to make sure that my opinion was still the same. It was.

I can't understand why you're so hard on yourself. I'm not really sure what more I can say. Your opinion is your own, so there isn't a whole lot I can do to affect it. But that doesn't make what I (and pretty much everyone else) have been saying any less true. You don't need to be so hard on yourself.

[Funderfullness]

I can't understand why you're so hard on yourself.

At first it was fine/normal. Now it's clearly fishing for compliments.

[4score7years]

At first it was fine/normal. Now it's clearly fishing for compliments.

Maybe, but like I said, I think I've said pretty much everything that I have to say on the matter, so regardless, I'm pretty much done.

[RoydGolden]

At first it was fine/normal. Now it's clearly fishing for compliments.

Even fishing for compliments is still evidence of a low self-esteem IMO, since it implies the belief that his sheets aren't good enough to be praised otherwise.

[Ereus]

At first it was fine/normal. Now it's clearly fishing for compliments.

Eh even I IRl have a bad habit of apologizing needlessly and randomly so really it's not that surprising to have a low self esteem.

[sherlock1110]

At first it was fine/normal. Now it's clearly fishing for compliments.

If it is I'm certainly not intending to do it, but I understand your point. I'll try to comment on my own work less then, sorry to have bothered you

[sherlock1110]

Okay this Servant is one I have wanted to make for a while and although he is somewhat obscure, Type Moon and this thread has helped me to learn a lot more about history so hopefully this will teach people at least a little bit about the character, the sheet is inevitably going to be clunky though sorry. Thanks to 4score for getting me to think about literature so much recently, you brought this upon yourself.
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Servant Identity

Servant Class: Berserker
True Name: Lepold von Sacher-Masoch
Aliases: Gregor, Severin Von Kusiemski, Ero-Berserker, Ridden Class Berserker
Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
Natural Enemies: Domineering Women, Medb, Spartacus....?
Alternate Classes: Caster

Parameters:
Strength- E
Agility- C
Endurance- B
Mana- B+
Luck- D-
Noble Phantasm- A

Personality: In an ordinary conversation Berserker can be courteous and quite gentlemanly. Many would not suspect him to be a Berserker due to his civilised and controlled speech, however the passion that tears him from within makes itself more apparent during more serious and prolonged conversations with him. Rather than being purely Leopold von Sacher Masoch that was summoned his character has been melded with his younger self and his most famous literary character Severin Von Kusiemski, he is a cultured and liberal individual who strongly advocates his views on societal injustices and prejudice, though the manner he approaches this with is so scathing and critical that some feel intensely uncomfortable once he is present. Though by his experiences he is tired of any romantic or sexual experiences he will occasionally express these slumbering desires, but also discourage others who show such a leaning. He despises a Master who refuses to be an equal to him and finds the conception of Command Seals abhorrent. He may come across as a broken man but he is driven to win the Grail War in order to bring about whatever utopia he can conceive, preferably a world where men and women are equals.

Biography

Born on the 27th of January 1836 to a Roman Catholic background Leopold von Sacher Masoch was the first of a new family name and would go onto become a well established author, writing often about Galician life. He argued against antisemitism throughout his life but often his name was blackened due to his close association with Sadomasochism. Aside from the term "Masochism" emerging from his name he also wrote "Venus In Furs", originally a short story for his "The Legacy of Cain" series it became a novel and (until recently) has been one of his only novels published in English. "Venus In Furs" in many ways mirrored aspects of Masoch's life and as such he obtained some notoriety for his "sexual deviancy". Though he was not the most well known author his association to what is now a far more well known idea qualifies him for the role of a Heroic Spirit, maybe.

Appearance

Obviously I could have gone for many other types of images but most of them were too NSFW... and none of them really fitted the feel I wanted to give this Servant

Appearance Description: Taking on the appearance of his younger self he is a well built man with a toned body coming from the work he has done as an actual servant. While he has an unremarkable skin tone one may note him as being "green around the gills", he has a pallor to his expression due to the poor conditions he endures. He has short hair and once again has tried to make himself a slave capable of disappearing into the background with ease, not wishing to be placed in the spotlight. However he does wear well made clothing that some may comment surpasses his taken on position in life, his armaments of choice is a knife and although it is effective against Servants it is otherwise a common weapon.

Skills

Class Skills:

Mad Enhancement (B): Characterizing the Berserker class increases the base parameters of a Servant but in exchange reduces their mental capacity. Some of Berserkers parameters increase to the following while the skill is in use, though it is reversible it takes time and concentration of his Master:
Strength- D
Agility- B
Endurance- A
Mana- A
Luck- D-
Noble Phantasm- A

Berserkers personality begins to regress to that of Severin during the course of "Venus in Furs", he will think in the main of his own Masters success in the Grail War and with no care for his own survival. While many Masters will keep this skill active in order to procure a more obedient Servant they are unlikely to recognise that a slow bitterness will grow within Berserker that prompts him towards killing his Master and himself.

Personal Skills:

Eye for Art (B): Servants who in life had a close knowledge of the art world receive this skill. While Berserker himself was a prolific author and his alias of Severin was infatuated with high art he has a high chance to recognise Noble Phantasms with artistic backgrounds, though while under Mad Enhancement he will feign to be an ignorant Servant who lacks such knowledge.

Masochistic Constitution (EX): An author from whom the word "Masochism" originated and with his most famous writing being involved in the subject he receives a rank in Masochistic Constitution beyond that of A rank. This skill allows for aggression and hostility to become centered on the skill holder and for many Servants it is a negative skill. Even the allies of Berserker will find it difficult to not assault him in a minor way and even a neutral bystander may feel compelled to become his enemy, in addition his foes will be incapable of considering another target before Berserker. Berserkers version of the skill is such that it even alters the personality of those who attack him to become more domineering and aggressive, acting as a strong mental interference ability which overwrites personalities. Luckily for Berserker it also reduces the chance of himself receiving lethal attacks as those affected will be unwilling to "put him out of his misery" and instead they may become lax while in combat with him and begin to "play" with him rather than recognise him as a proper Servant.

Noble Phantasm

Venus in Furs- Memoirs of a Suprasensual Man: (A, Anti-Unit): The recognition of the "moral" of Berserkers most famous novel. The novel follows the memoir of Severin von Kusiemski as he tries to explain his cynicism towards Sadomasochism and Sexual Dominance. Ultimately Severin has come to the conclusion that "Those who allow themselves to be whipped, deserve to be whipped" and decides that he will ensure his happiness by exerting dominance instead of submitting to others, though this is a questionable conclusion. Though strange and distorted this belief is what allows Berserker to make use of his Noble Phantasm and ultimately his only chance of success in the Holy Grail War. It requires use of Masters mana in particular to activate and as the details are hidden from all but Berserker a wary Master may avoid allowing him to activate this Noble Phantasm.

Upon initial activation a specific ritual must be conducted involving Berserker's Master tying him to a pillar and locking him away within a sealed room for a day. After this day Berserker emerges possessing a slim and stylish book, this is the physical form of the Noble Phantasm Venus in Furs.

Venus in Furs is a deceptively powerful Noble Phantasm, it could be described as a conceptual weapon allowing Berserker to dominate and control others. The Mystic Code accesses the Holy Grail wars Command Seal system and, in theory, would be an all powerful tool in this regard allowing for Berserker to control all other Servants.

However as a Berserker he is unable to access it's true worth as a Command Seal "hacking" system, his finesse for this is gone but he does however possess the mana supplies to use it far more frequently, albeit with reduced effect.

The same Command Seal power is crudely used by Berserker as an incredibly strong version of mental interference, while the regular Command Seals are powerful Mysteries that target an entire Servant the effect Berserker produces is a projectile of raw energy. Geas shot if you would like to imagine it like that. These projectiles are highly unpredictable and fast, making it difficult for Servants who do not have high ranks in Agility, relevant Skills or Noble Phantasms to ignore. Berserker cannot convey complex commands through his projectiles and instead they all seem to carry a single command, renouncing the Servants position in the Grail War. This means that Servants hit by the projectile (who do not possess Independent Manifestation or a physical body, e.g. still spiritual creatures) will have the part of them that was hit begin to return to the Throne of Heroes. Though this can require many hits to carry out the full effect of effectively dispelling a Servant Berserker is capable of delivering many blows quite quickly meaning a chance encounter with this Noble Phantasm could prove fatal.

Servants who have been returned to the Throne of Heroes do still have a contract with their Master, as such they can be resummoned with much time and effort. Berserker is essentially an anti-Servant tool but during combat some care is needed as this Noble Phantasm provides no protection and will doubtlessly make him a target, though this is a situation Berserker is used to. The Mana consumption of the Noble Phantasm's usage does pose a problem but as a Berserker it would only use about half his Mana in an intense battle.

A final danger of this Noble Phantasm is that it provides Berserker with an additional skill, as a byproduct of being in constant exposure to the Command Seal system he now has Independent Action at an A rank, while this does help in some ways as Berserkers Master won't worry about having to provide Mana for Berserkers engagements it does make the rebellious Berserker be far more likely to betray his Master.

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Upon following the pivix link I was unable to reach the original image page, here however is the danbooru image I used:
http://danbooru.donmai.us/posts/1016104

[the god of world-0]

Archer: pethensileia
Str:B, End:A, Agi:EX
Mna:C, Lck:E, Np:A
Aligment: lawful/neutral
Gender: female
Height: 155cm
Weight: 50kg
Place of origin: greece
Armament: bow, shield
Likes: meat, honorable fights, humble people
Deslike: hunting, volupituos womans, recive pity
Talents: fighting, first aid
Natural enemies:fate and luck

Lore: The yonger sister of hyppolita, the amazon queen. She was know for the strongest throw of all amazons because and haddad pride is this title ho would lad the her downfall.
One day while hunting with her sister, the spear she threw end up hitting and killing hyppolita It was not a miskate of her or carelessness of her sister, but insted the "work of fate and will of luck".
She was filled with grief and only wanted to died, but being a amazon and a daughter of the war god she wanted to do so like a warrior, so she departed to troy.
In the short day in which she fight in the trojan war, she defeted many soldiers, clash with aias the great, and end up face to face with aquiles.
Legends day that she was slayed in one strike and, while technicly true, this was because she dodge all of aquiles initial attack forcing him into a risky manuver who end up hitting out of luck.
In that moment their eles meet each other and, again by a curse from destiny, they bota fell deeply for each other as she died.

Skills:magic resistance(A): cancel spells of A-rank and bellow, even high-thaumaturgy

Independent action(A): can take take actions without the suport of the master, but here noble phantasm will still comsume the mana necesary

divinity(B):she is the daughter of ares and,just like her sister, is cover in tick divine aura

battle continuation(D): while she will keep fighting to the bitter end, the trupe is that she disires death

Injured beauty(A-): a skill that makes she look more and more beautiful as she gets hurt, the fact that she despise this skill resulted in a rank down

Hippolytae tragoedia: tragedy among sisters (姉妹の中で悲劇 ヒッポリュタエ ・ トラゴエヂア * Shimai no naka de higeki Hipporyutae toragoedjia) (anti-unit: B+):
Derived of the fact of her killing her sister by acident, is not the actual weapon (which was a spear) used in the ocasion, but her fellings of sorrow and regret canalyze into a attack. She can use this attack with any throwable objetc, it is stronger agaist people she consider equals or when used with a spear but she refuses to touch any spears.

Akhilleus Kosmos: The Miniature World Enclosed by the Azure Sky (蒼天囲みし小世界 アキレウス・コスモス * Sōten kakomi shi ko sekai akireusu kosumosu) (barrier: A):
The shield of the great aquiles, the one which she fight against/fell in love during her final moments. While she never used such shield in her life, it was placed on her pyre by the aquiles himself (this act would late contribuit to his downfall).

[sherlock1110]

Penthesilea: While you've managed to create an interesting sheet for a character I was not acquainted with I do have some criticisms. You've done very well in your choice of character by the way as often it is important yet secondary characters who are designed well as Servants and this can really help when you haven't had the longest experience in making Sheets. The sheet is good and the only real criticism is a recurring one of expanding on detail, however I can see why this would be difficult as you seem to have some difficulties with English, sorry if that was rude as you are doing quite well , but regardless you've made two good Noble Phantasms that needed expansion. For example while the sheet tells me that she possesses the Shield of Achilles I have no real clue what properties it may possess, so I have to conclude it's a shield with high mystery.

[the god of world-0]

Bite in the ass by my own carefulness
I end up not put in to many information on akhileus kosmos because he alredy apears on fate/apocrypha so i end up think i whould be redundent put "things that every one knows" without disregard for who not read it or dont remenber
acidental jerkass moment

[the god of world-0]

Ok now, which of the servants i made whould you prefer to use in a grail war?

[sherlock1110]

Wait it is in Apocrypha isn't it? Sorry I forgot about that Noble Phantasm. Although it's certainly a strange question to ask isn't Gerda clearly the answer here considering she is a far stronger Servant than the rest? I don't know, what about you?

[the god of world-0]

Yeah, but she is also realy bad in doing damage, i specificly design her so she whould be hard to kill while strugling to do minimal damage
In resume, a realy tanky white mage

[Diablo Interceptor]

-Titles: Governor of the Condemned, Mal'akh ha-Mavet, Samael, Sariel, Gabriel, Azra’il, Abaddon, Malach Ahzari, The Fourth Horseman of the Apocalypse, Judge of the Living and the Dead
-Other Qualifying Classes: Ruler, Saber, Rider, Assassin and Saver
-Gender: Unknown
-Alignment: True Neutral
-Origin: Judaism (Israel)

Parameters:
-Strength: B-
-Endurance: EX
-Agility: A
-Mana: C+
-Luck: E-
-NP: B++

Class Skills:

-Magic Resistance (C): Cancel spells with a chant below two verses. Cannot defend against Magecraft on the level of High-Thaumaturgy and Greater Rituals.

Personal Skills:

-Scythe/Sickle Creation (A): The ability to create many sickles or scythes for support in battle or create a cheap distraction while going in for reaping. Lancer can summon small sickles or large scythes that cover a wide area and phase through an enemy to destroy their vital organs.

-Espionage (B): Does not conceal one’s presence, but rather makes one's presence fail to register as hostile. This Skill causes others to misunderstand one's status, including mistaking one for a kind neighbor, a harmless pebble, or as the most beloved person.

-Scroll of Deeds (C): Lancer usually carries around a scroll with him, documenting all of the good and evil acts that every sentient being on Earth has carried out while they were alive. This skill somewhat of a useful tool for discerning the identity of a Heroic Spirit or trying to theorise on their varying strengths and weaknesses. Unfortunately, this list does not extend to False Heroic Spirits, Phantom Servants or Pseudo-Servants.

-Chains of Fate (D-): Lancer can summon magical chains out of thin air that literally bind a target in place and neutralize their Class Skills. However, if said target has a strength stat of D or higher, they can easily break free from the chains.

Noble Phantasms:

-Alqadi, Lajnat Almuhallafin Walmunaffidha: Ruthless Angel of Death
*Type: Anti-Unit
*Rank: B++

With a snap of Lancer’s skeletal fingers, a dozen ghostly, glowing hands will materialize out of the ground and drag their target into the ground like a bag of screaming meat. When the ground sink up to the victim’s throat, the hands will simply hold them in place to ensure that they will not attempt to escape, as Lancer conjures up no more than 12 scythes that will hover some twenty feet above their target and he hoists his own scythe above his left shoulder in preparation to deliver a lethal strike. And then, Death and all 12 scythes will converge upon the target’s throat at once in the hopes of dealing multiple slashes that sever the victim's head completely from their neck and end their life in an instant…

...should the target fail to pass a Strength, Endurance or Luck check that requires one of those three Parameters to be two ranks above D, that will allow them to endure the attack or burst out of the ground to avoid the multi-part strike.

-Ascensionem in Caelum Et Ad Inferos Damnatio: The Final Judgement
*Type: Anti-Unit
*Rank: EX

If an enemy is upon the verge of death, Lancer can temporality transport them into a hellish pocket dimension, which he has god-like control over all reality and events. Upon arrival, the victim will be restrained in a set of unbreakable chains that prevent physical movement and seal off the victim's Mana supply. Two angels called Munkar and Nakir will instantly appear to interrogate the target and test their faith by asking questions about their lord, religion and prophet, whilst Lancer reviews over a list of deeds that the victim had performed before or after death.

When Munkar and Nakir have finished their interview with the target, they will converse with Lancer to reach a verdict regarding the victim’s innocence. If the trio decide that the victim is innocent, Lancer and his target will return to reality with his opponent being restored to full health. However, if the enemy is deemed guilty, a massive hole will open up underneath the victim’s feet and Lancer will teleport behind them to strike them down, effectively bisecting the enemy and forcing them to plummet headfirst into the endless and infernal bowels of Hell itself.




True Name:

Spoiler:

Lancer’s True Name is the Angel of Death, also known colloquially as the Grim Reaper. A being as old as time itself and contrary to what many believe, Death is not a angel tasked by God/Yahweh/Allah with the mission of judging deceased souls and deciding whether they gain entry to Heaven or Hell, but rather the subconscious manifestation of what all living things fear: death. During the Age of the Gods, Death was a shapeshifter that wandered aimlessly across the face of the earth and often took on the form of a beggar carrying a sword coated with a deadly poison and parchment scroll recording the deeds that all humans had committed during their lifetime.

Death was very selective about the people that it killed and would only take life when ordered by Alaya or Gaia. But, as soon as it has received permission to destroy, however, Death made no distinction between good or evil. The most well-known instances of Death’s ruthless are the large scale slaughter of 185,000 Assyrian soldiers laying siege to Jerusalem and killing all of the firstborn children in Egypt during the Exodus. Only efficacious prayer, constant study, and outstanding acts of charity for a short or long period of time could convince Death that someone was not ready to die yet.

It wasn’t until the Age of Man and the spread of the three Abrahamic religions (Judaism, Christianity, and Islam) across the Eurasian supercontinent that Death would assume it’s iconic appearance as the black-coated and scythe-carrying, skull-faced harbinger of doom. As the pagan denizens of Europe and Asia came in contact with either of the three faiths, aspects of scythe-wielding and death-related figures from various Indo-European mythologies were assimilated into humanity’s conceptual envisionment of death. Some of these entities include but are not limited to Kronos/Saturn, the Valkyries, Ankou, Charon, Giltinė, Thanatos, Bean Nighe, Banshee, Yama, Hel, Pesta, the Dullahan and Cù Sìth.

However, the modern day image of the Grim Reaper manifested during the widespread epidemic of the Black Death that swept across Europe in the mid-14th century and killed ⅓ of the population. The plague came in various forms in different cities and because of the plague being highly contagious, priests refused to perform last rites, resulting in unburied dead bodies. Considering the frightening environment, where everyone feared being affected with this pandemic, it was only natural for people to view death as a skeletal figure, as the amount of corpses in the vicinity were overwhelming.

This pandemic was named ‘Black Death’ because the victims were covered in mysterious black boils that oozed blood and puss. Also, the skin of the victim became black and gangrenous. Black is also the color that is worn in funerals and deaths. Hence, was natural for the artists of that era to see death coming in the color black. While initially, tools such as crossbow, ax, or dart was shown as Death’s weapon, gradually it was replaced with a scythe, and many artists portrayed death, or the Grim Reaper, using this tool to mow souls.